[Ripped from DVD by funnykiddy]
Hmm.
[Male Narrator]
The world watched as three brave chimps...
- boldly went where no man had gone before.
- [Crowd Cheering]
[Screaming]
- [Alarm Beeping]
- They flew through a wormhole...
and were the first to discover life
on another planet.
- That planet is called Malgor.
- [Giggles]
[Pop]
They even brought back
a strange relic of alien life...
on the nose cone of their rocket.
- And that Freznar-encased tyrant
from the planet Malgor-
- [Screaming]
Was called Zartog.
[Screaming]
[Spectators Gasping]
[Tires Screeching]
The world celebrated
these space chimp heroes-
- In newspapers, TV-
- [Crowd Cheering]
- and ticker tape parades.
- [Cheering Continues]
They've always been my heroes...
and I'm the tech whiz
who helped pilot them home.
They say everybody has their moment,
and It's finally my moment.
My name's Comet,
and I am the new recruit...
on the next Return to Malgor mission.
Computer, run systems diagnostics.
[Female Electronic Voice]
Systems on line.
Initiate preflight check.
- Propellant.
- Propellant, check.
- Cellerons.
- Cellerons, check.
- Video feed.
- Vldeo feed to Malgor, activated.
- Hi, Comet! What's up?
- Hey, Kilowatt!
Greetings from the cockpit of the Horizon.
Oh, cool! You're in the ship.
Have you heard anything yet?
No, but they will be posting
the launch date any time now.
Well, I hope it's soon.
I mean, our video chats are great...
but I could really use a friend
to hang out with.
I know. Me too.
It's just a matter of time.
Planet Malgor, here I come.
Gotta jet.
Call you at our usual chat time.
Okay. Bye, Comet!
Yaah!
[Grunts]
Whoo-hoo!
[Wheel Squeaking]
Greetings, small, furry one.
I am Lord Zartog...
- Conqueror of all Conquerors,
Ruler of all Rulers!
- [Whining]
Fear my wrath!
- [Urinating]
- [Grunts]
Revenge will be mine!
Watch your back, poochie.
- [Background: Rock]
- 333,486.
[Grunts]
Titan, here's your morning power drink.
- You need a spotter?
- [Slurping]
Okay. I'm here if you need me.
Whew. Houston.
- One Grade "A" banana,
just like you ordered.
- Thanks, kid.
Gotta be in tip-top shape for the mission.
They haven't announced
who's going yet, right?
Hey, I know who's going to Malgor- me!
See ya.
- Lieutenant Luna, here's your mission report.
- Huh? Oh.
- Hey, do you have time to quiz me?
- Hmm.
I see you're busy. Maybe later.
- [Helicopter Approaching]
- Look! It's the presidential helicopter!
[Ham]
Thanks for the lift, guys.
If the president
wants to shoot hoops again...
just have him call my personal assistant!
Hey, Ham! Welcome back.
How was your trip?
Comet baby, my main monkey man!
Trip was awesome!
- Holdin' down the fort?
- You know it, Captain.
[Mock Coughing, Gasping]
Dry. Must have fruity drink.
Thank you.
[Slurps]
So, personal assistant,
how's Hammie's afternoon looking today?
- Let's see. You've got two commercials.
- Uh-huh.
- Your E! Profile.
- Uh-huh.
- And you're doing 60 Minutes and VHTCrlbs.
- Yeah. Love it.
And tonight you're guest-hosting
Stupid Pet Trlcks with Dave Leno.
- Eh- Love it.
- Oh, also-
Yeah?
I thought you'd like to see the results
of yesterday's photo shoot.
Brokeback Monkey?
You're the new face of Low Rider Jeans,
which is great P.R. For the agency.
[Slurping]
Ahh!
Yeah. Take a note.
No more Ham on horseback.
I think I bruised my butt.
You're the new sound of smooth jazz-
- Oh. Nice hair.
- You're on every box of Chimpa Noodles.
Chimpa Noodles, yeah
And here's the new campaign for Calvin Clone,
for their men's body wash.
Use Ham Body Wash so you can smell-
[Sniffing]
Just like me. Love it!
Like anyone would want to smell like you.
[Shushing]
I'm being famous.
Hmph.
Oh, you've got
your Katie Kellie interview.
But do you have some time now?
'Cause, remember...
you promised to show me
how to get shot out of the cannon.
Yeah, sure. Later, kid.
Right now, I gotta prep for my interview.
Katie is just too cute to wait.
- Let me run a couple of things by you, baby.
- [Sighs]
- I was figuring I'd give her
a little bit of this- [Howling]
- [Electrlc Gultar]
- [Continues]
- Wow!
And then cap it off with a little- Ow!
Moonwalkin'! Moonwalkin'.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Huh! Pretty good, right?
[Sighs] Did you lose some brain cells
when we crash-landed?
- Pssh! Wh-Wh-Wh-Whoa!
- [Loud Clatter]
[Grunts]
Personal assistant?
Could I, uh, get a little
personal assistance here?
Uh-
Someday, that'll be me.
Whoa, whoal
[Grunting]
So we've redesigned the whole space center
from top to bottom...
So we've redesigned the whole space center
from top to bottom...
for our heroic astrochimps.
Now, there's a chimp Olympic pool...
there's a chimp massage center,
a chimp Jacuzzi...
a simian weight facility,
a chimp aromatherapy room...
the future monkey meditation center.
[Chuckling]
And we'll be upgrading
our heroic chimps' living quarters...
to five stars.
- Isn't that wonderful?
- [Reporters] Senator! Senator! Excuse me!
What will the chimps' next mission be?
The best way to fully understand
where we are...
is to inhabit... somewhere else.
[Llquid Slurps]
Oh. Oh, my!
Can you believe they actually came through
with the all-you-can-eat sundae bar?
Mmm. Delicious. Ah!
I adore rainbow sprinkles.
I calculate that my sundae
has over 4,000 rainbow sprinkles.
You know, I did my graduate dissertation
on ice cream...
and the resultant brain freeze.
Hey, Comet. You in there?
Say, how's that
new BananaBerry coming along?
It's the bomb. I upgraded it to 3.0.
I added a touch screen,
solar batteries, G.P. S...
traffic updates, S. M.S. And video chat.
Okay. Don't know what that means,
but nicely done, kiddo.
Hey, what are you doing?
Uh, just reading e-mails
to see if there's a launch date
for the Return to Malgor mission.
Man, I can't wait to go.
[Beeps]
Huh? No! No way!
- That's impossible!
- What?
It's the flight manifest
for the Malgor mission...
and my name has been crossed out.
- Are you sure?
- Look, it says it right here.
I got cut!
I know it's hard, kid,
but you got a big job here.
You're our tech genius.
Remember, there can't be a mission
without Mission Control.
But I so wanted to go to Malgor
and see Kilowatt.
It's not fair, Houston.
I trained. I helped everyone.
But no one thinks I'm part of the team...
even though it's all I ever wanted.
I don't know what to say, kid.
Please, don't call me "kid."
I'm sorry, Houston. L- I need to be alone.
[Frequency Modulating]
Hi, Comet!
[Trilling, Giggling]
- Hey, Kilowatt.
- What's wrong?
I'm not going to Malgor.
I got cut from the mission.
But- But then
I'll never get to meet you...
and show you around.
I know. They don't seem to need me.
I would give anything
if you could be here.
I'd give anything, too, but let's face it.
I'm not going anywhere.
Check ya later, Kilowatt. Comet out.
Bye, Comet.
- Ham! I need to talk-
- Hey, where's the fire, little buddy?
- It's about the mission.
- Sorry, dude.
The main mission for right now is getting
Big Bertha fixed before the show tonight.
Yeah, just as I thought.
The breech got stuck
on the trunnlons agaln. Cannon talk.
- Ham!
- Hey, toss me that number five
socket wrench, will ya?
Ham, I got cut-
Whoo-hoo!
It works!
- [Thuds]
- Cut from the mission.
Wow!
- [Electronic Hum, Beeps]
- [Female Electronic Voice] Access denied.
Huh. That's what you think.
Commander Comet coming aboard.
[Grunts]
Ooh!
[Panting]
[Grunting]
[Grunts]
[Shouts]
Wh-Whoa!
[Yelps, Gasps]
[Beeping]
[Rapid Beeping]
Hmm. Ahh!
- [Rapid Beeping]
- BananaBerry synchronization in progress.
BananaBerry synchronization complete.
Hello, rocket.
- Initiate preflight check.
- [Female Electronic Voice]
Initiate preflight check.
- Propellant.
- Propellant, check.
- Cellerons.
- Cellerons, check.
- Guidance system.
- Guidance system on line.
[Sighs]
I wish I really could light this candle.
Lighting candle. Check.
- Huh? No!
- Launch procedure initiated.
I didn't mean really light this candle!
I-I take it back!
All systems stop! Override procedure!
- Please say your pass code.
- I don't know the pass code!
Override permission denied. Blasting off.
Mission Control! Houston!
I'm blasting off!
Somebody, anybody, come in!
Mmm! Delicious.
- [Rocket Roaring In Distance]
- Oh! [Chuckles] Is that my tummy rumbling?
They must be firing
that circus cannon again.
- Blasting off in 10, nine, eight-
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Seven, slx, flve...
- four, three, two, one.
- Oh- Uh- Uh- [Whimpering]
- Blastoff.
- [Gasps]
[Panting]
- [Rocket Roaring]
- Huh? Ah.
[Whines]
[Barking]
[Whines]
[Muffled Shouting]
[Barks, Whines]
[Shouts, Grunting]
- [Whines]
- Behold the power of Zartog.
- [Whines]
- [Grunts]
I said, behold my power, stupid mutt.
A new day has dawned...
and that day is Zartog!
[Whimpering]
[Laughing]
[Groans]
Hey, kid? Uh, I mean- not "kid."
I know you don't want me
to call you "kid"...
even though I usually do call you "kid."
Anyway, Comet, uh, you-you wanna talk?
[Computer Beeping]
Huh?
Mission Control! Houston!
Houston, I got a problem!
I'm blasting off!
Somebody, anybody, come in!
Takin' off? That crazy kid's headin'
towards the hypertunnel?
Oh, man. Luna! Ham!
Shoot! How do I work this thing?
Whoa! Zero gravity.
Oh, man, this is great.
It's even more amazing than I imagined.
I am so busted.
And this is so worth it.
Planet Malgor, here I come.
[Computer]
Now approaching Juplter.
Whoa. Amazifying.
I can't believe I'm really seeing this.
[Computer]
On the left are the rings of Saturn.
Unbelievable!
I can see the rings perfectly.
[Computer]
Approaching Pluto.
Huh.
Looks like a planet to me.
[Computer]
Hyperspeed Inltiated.
[Senator]
What's going on here?
I don't pay you people
to sit around eating banana splits.
Actually, we are having ice-cream sundaes.
The monkeys got all the bananas.
Actually, get to work. Pull up
those pictures of the space base. Now!
[Senator]
The astrochimps will terraform a planet...
and establish the first...
permanent, habitable space base.
This will be the greatest
accomplishment...
in the history of space exploration.
- [Doors Open]
- Now, if you'll excuse me.
Our scientists have been working
on a top secret project, so-
- [Reporters Chattering]
- Uh, what top secret project?
- I'd tell you what it is,
but I'd have to kill you.
- [All Gasp]
- [Chuckles] No, I wouldn't kill you.
- [All Slgh, Chuckle]
- Yes, I would.
- [All Gasp]
- [Chuckles] No, I wouldn't.
- [Laughing]
Oop. Whoop. Hey.
Check it out.
- In, out.
- [Chuckles]
- In, out. In, out. In, out. In, out. In!
- [Chuckling]
Oh, this guy's hilarious. I love this guy.
Whoo! [Chuckles]
Ooph.
I think you're both missing a link.
You should be studying for the mission.
Ah, if I studied now,
I'd just forget everything anyway.
Besides, I don't need to study.
I have you.
Oh, you do, do you?
Ooph! Mm-hmm.
And you'll do the studying for both of us.
Ooph!
[Sighs]
- [Beeps]
- [Houston] Luna! Ham!
- Houston, what up, monkey dogg?
- Comet took off.
I know. I sent him to the store to get a bottle
of Ham's cocoa butter S.P.F. 4 tanning oil.
No, Ham. He took off. Llke, In a rocket.
- What?
- What?
Wait. A rocket or a rocket rocket?
He's by himself in a rocket,
and he's heading for the hypertunnel.
He's not qualified.
He could get hurt. He could-
I know. He was upset he got cut
from the Malgor mission.
He tried to talk to me about it,
but I guess I didn't listen.
Maybe I didn't listen either.
Look, we gotta talk him down
before he hits the hypertunnel.
- Patch us through to Comet.
- Wh-What? Who? Me?
It's easy. Reroute the main antenna feed
through the auxiliary-
Sorry, Luna, I'm no Comet.
You two better get back here.
I don't think he'll listen
to anyone but Ham now.
Just get here fast!
- How are we gonna do that?
- We've gotta save Comet!
[Sighs]
Let's burn some rocket fuel, baby.
It's jet-pack time.
Abrakadoozle.
- Huh. Hmm.
- Huh?
[Humming]
To infinity and a blonde.
Sure you remember how to do this?
You kidding? I got rocket fuel in my veins.
Right thumb, left thumb.
Pay attention, gorgeous.
Let me show you how it's done.
- [Jet Pack Whirs]
- Huh? [Screaming]
- [Luna Gasps]
- [Crashing]
- [Ham Grunting] Owl Owl Owl
[Screaming]
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Take that, gravity- Whoa!
Whoa!
- [Power Sputtering]
- Oh, no! No.
Oh, man.
[Screaming]
Can't keep your hands of me, can ya?
Would you focus? We've got to hurry.
[Ham Yelps]
Hey! Hold on!
Whoa! Use your hand signals! Hey!
Whoa!
Ohh, ohh! Whoa!
[Screaming]
- [Thud]
- Ohh!
Watch out for the cars! Ohh!
[Screams]
[Murmurs]
Whoa!
[Grunts]
[Gags]
Whoa!
[Grunts]
- Ham!
- That wasn't too bad.
- Ham, you're missing a link.
- [Buzzing]
[Computer]
On the rlght, the Whirlpool Galaxy.
Oh, man. The Hubble Space Telescope
aln't got nothln'on me.
[Whirring, Shutter Clicks]
[Sighs]
[Computer]
Approaching hypertunnel.
Better buckle up.
Time for a roller-coaster ride.
[Humming]
Huh?
Hmm. A metal beast.
I will capture it and learn its secrets.
Right.
[Chuckles] All right. Yeah.
- That's great.
- Whoa! [Grunting]
[Grunting]
[Tires Screeching]
The beasts here are very powerful.
[Groaning]
[Tires Screech]
Ooh.
What is it?
I think you just hit an alien.
Okay, now to master this metal beast.
- Okay, the alien's driving my car.
- [Englne Starts]
It's- Oh! I'll have this to-
Oh, I'll have the steering wheel.
This and- Hey!
- Wow! Whoa!
- [Crash]
I wonder if my insurance covers that?
I would check your policy.
- [Alarm Beeping]
- [Computer]
Warning! Warning! Entering wormhole.
Okay, I got this.
Fire the engines true and fast.
Red one first, blue one last.
In between, hit 3-6-5
if you want to stay alive.
[Panting]
[Panting Heavily]
Hey, that thing you said about training?
You were right. A little bit.
[Panting] Okay, seeing spots.
Is that- Is that normal?
[Pants]
Ow! Ooh! Ohh!
Oh! My side. Ahh.
Houston?
- Houston!
- In herel
Hop out, and I'll patch us through.
Oh, I hope it's not too late.
- [Beeps]
- Oh, no! He's already in the hypertunnel!
Whoa, whoa, guys. He'll be okay.
This is Comet we're talking about-
the smartest chimp in the agency.
Besides, what's the worst
that could happen?
I mean, look at us. We all survived
the hypertunnel and a crash landing.
- And we're all fine.
- Titan- not so much.
- [Rock Continues]
- Must keep crunching.
Fate of universe hangs in balance.
More crunches...
less lunches.
Must-
Must set world record.
[Grunting, Snoring]
[Smacking Lips]
[Snorts]
- We need to get in touch with Comet now.
- I'll reroute the signal.
You can do this, Luna. You have to.
'Cause all I know how to do on that thing
is download Chimps Gone Wild.
Don't look at me.
I can't even find the "On" switch.
Hang in there, Comet! We'll get you down!
Can we get him down?
He's doomed, isn't he?
[Thunder Rumbling]
Wow.
Whoal
But do you have some time now?
'Cause, remember, you promised
to show me how to get shot out of a cannon.
[Ham] Later, kid. Rlght now,
I gotta prep for my Intervlew.
Katie is just too cute to walt.
Some chimps were born to push envelopes-
Others were born to lick 'em.
- [Barking]
- [Wheel Squeaking]
[Slurps]
Ahh!
'Cause I can't wait to meet you in person.
[Trilling]
[Sighs]
Welcome to InStar. May I help you?
[Monkey Screeching]
Hold, please. Hey, Clive, we got
another chimp stuck in a wormhole.
[Computer]
Exiting wormhole.
- [Computer] Approaching planet Malgor.
- [Beeping]
- Landing on planet Malgor.
- Ahh!
Correcting entry angle.
[Grunts]
What do I do next?
Okay, uh, r-r-reverse engines.
Landing gear.
Man, I so need a copilot right now.
[Computer]
Crash landing mode.
[Grunting]
- [Englnes Power Off]
- [Computer] Perfect landing.
- Welcome to planet Malgor.
- Oh, my gosh!
I did it! Malgor!
Comet!
[Glggles] Hi!
Kilowatt!
Yowzers! Comet, it's you!
[Trilling]
Wait. But- But-
But I thought you said you weren't coming.
I blasted off by mistake,
but I made it... on my own.
[Trilling]
You are here! This is wonderful!
Welcome to Malgor and to the village
of Killawallawazoowahoowee!
Oh, I can't wait.
I want to see everything-
Fluvians, glophoppers...
even the cave
of the flesh-devouring beast.
[Shrieking]
No. Anything but that.
Whoa! Your head really does light up
when you get scared.
That's so cool!
So, which way to Killawallawazoowahoowee?
So, my old enemy
is the leader of this planet.
Well, I say it's time for some payback.
- [Electricity Crackling]
- [Groaning]
Ohh!
[Panting]
[Growls]
[Yelping, Spluttering]
[Snores]
Huh?
[Yawns]
I'll sneak into this fortress
and overthrow that Ham...
- and all those space chimp buddies of his.
- [Snoring]
I am proud to present...
the happy village
of Killawallawazoowahoowee.
Wow!
Not very impressive
for a ruler's grand palace.
Ham needs a better designer.
- Hey, Woomba.
- Hi.
Hi, Zella.
Hey, Kilowatt. Ooh, a space chimp!
- Eee-eee-eee!
- Hoo, hoo.
Ever since you guys
saved us from Zartog...
Malgor has been great.
Ah.
[Panting]
Huh? Oh.
Another beast. I will master its power.
- Oh! Aha!
- [Beeps]
Oh- Wha- Wait!
[Whimpers]
[Panting, Grunting]
What are you- Whoa!
[Yelping]
Uh!
[Grunts]
- [Carlbbean]
- Comet, Come on. Hurry up.
[Trilling, Calling, Laughing]
[Kilowatt]
Come on. Jump in!
Wow! Unbelievable.
Well, what are you waiting for?
[Continues]
[Grunting]
Whoo!
All right. There you have it.
One million crunches performed
at various times in a nonlinear fashion...
for a purpose that I...
no longer remember.
Whoo! Booyah!
[All Trilling, Calling]
Oh, yes!
Klllawallawazoowahooweens
are happy in all things now.
- They are happy to eat together.
- Mmm! Mmm!
- They are happy to play together.
- [Grunts, Laughs]
It seems so... happy.
Oh, it is.
Especially now that you're here.
[Chuckles]
[Trilling, Giggling]
- [Trilling]
- [Trills, Laughs]
[Both Laughing]
Hey, you want to see something cool?
- [Whirs]
- [Gasps] The BananaBerry 3.0!
- You finished it!
- Check it. You got your touch screen.
- [Beeping]
- [Yelping]
- Oh, no. What?
- [Yelping]
Ah! I can't make it stop.
I'm so sorry, Kilowatt.
I hope I didn't hurt them.
I don't think it hurts them.
- [Laughing]
- I think it makes them kind of goofy.
I think the radio frequency
of the BananaBerry...
interferes with their alien brain functions.
[Laughing]
Whaaah!
So, are you ready for a tour
of planet Malgor?
- I'll get the jet packs.
- Why not use ours?
[Whistles]
[Snuffles]
[Grunts]
Huh? Hey, Zartog, old chap.
Ah, yes. You're not the cute one.
You're not the annoying one.
You're the big one.
The smart one. The really smart one.
Long time no see.
When- When did we last see each other?
I'm guessing back on Malgor.
Our driving lessons on Malgor. Of course.
So, where you been hanging out lately?
Where have I been hanging out lately?
[Laughing]
In a backyard garden.
Sounds serene.
Well, good to see you again.
You're looking uglier than ever.
Be proud of your freakish alien heritage.
- Where's Ham?
- Ah.
He's probably in the Simian Center.
Here. Let me give you a tour.
This place has everything.
A centrifuge...
otherwise known as the "vomitron."
We've got a treadmill,
simian weight center.
We've got monkey meditation. A Jacuzzi.
When I get stiff, I like to "coozi."
[Chuckles]
[Grunts]
Mmm.
Now, over here is Mission Control.
Can't have a space agency
without a Mission Control.
Hush, hush.
State secrets. That sort of thing.
Secrets? I'd like to hear them.
Well, that depends. Can I trust ya?
Look me in the eye, Zartog.
I've been burned before.
Why, yes!
Of course you can. You can trust me.
Congratulations. You've just obtained
Level 5 clearance. Come on in.
Wow. That was easy.
- [Beeping]
- Fresca's in the fridge to the left.
All-you-can-eat sundae bar's to the right.
Make yourself at home.
[Exhales]
MI casa es su casa.
MI Mission Control es su Mission Control.
Eh?
[Beeps]
[Comet, Kilowatt]
Whoa!
- [Comet] This is awesome!
- Whoa!
This is, like,
the best roller coaster ever!
Hold on tight, Comet.
This is where it gets fun!
[Kilowatt Squeals]
[Giggling]
Hey, look.
Over there's Glophopper Valley!
[Comet]
This is so cool!
- Hi, snail horse!
- What's up, Kilowatt?
Whoo!
[Laughing]
This is awesome!
This is just the beginning!
- [Kilowatt] Whoo!
- [Laughing]
Faster! Faster.
Okay. Here we go!
We have developed
commercial applications...
of the wormhole technology
like you requested.
No, no, no, no. Be careful.
That is very dangerous.
Please do not be pointing that at people.
I knew you eggheads
would somehow pay off one day.
All right, show me what else it can do.
Well, it's a de-particle-izer.
So it pretty much only
de-particle-izes things.
But that never gets old. Watch this.
Ah!
Think of the savings
on furniture polish and tech support.
What else can we make disappear?
[Gasps]
What about an entire country?
funnykiddy rip for Subscene.com
Or an entire planet.
I could use that thing to get rid of Ham.
I love it! I want to run
a live demonstration for Congress.
Or maybe a demonstration on Congress.
[Chortling]
Ah, schnitzelfruit. They're the most
scrumptious fruit in all the land.
Here. You want to try one?
- This is delicious.
- I thought you'd like it.
Oh! They don't make
fruit like that back home.
- Oh?
- Oh! [Groans]
Ah. This place is perfect.
On my planet, we only give schnitzelfruit
to very special friends.
- [Giggling]
- [Chuckles]
What?
Glophoppers. Awesome!
This is so weird. Huh.
- [Laughs]
- Ooh.
They do feel like Jell-O.
Come on, Comet. This way.
You're gonna love this.
Uh, sir, uh, we were wondering...
are we supposed to be
exploring space or blowing it up?
What's the difference? You're supposed
to do what you're told, not ask questions.
Huh!
How many of these have you made?
- Just the prototype.
- Uh-huh.
So just the one
that the freaky blue alien...
is pointing at us right now?
Yecch. What is that?
Wow, look at that.
Come on, come on. Hurry up.
- Wow.
- Let's go, slowpoke.
I am Zartog...
the rightful ruler of planet Malgor...
and soon-to-be ruler of planet Earth.
And I know a good weapon when I see one.
Now tell me where your leader, Ham, is...
or I will blast you all into oblivion!
[Gibberish]
Anybody understand him?
[Gibberish]
- Whoa!
- [Chuckles] Whoa.
Come on, Comet. Jump in!
What are these things called?
Whatever you want.
How about bouncy-shrooms?
Maybe, uh, jump-shrooms.
Or, no. Uh, fungaroos!
I like it!
Boing! Boing!
Boing!
[Giggling]
Tag! You're it.
- Hey!
- You'll never catch me.
Oh, yes, I will.
Hey, no fair. My arms are too short.
- Told you you couldn't.
- Got ya! Now you're it.
[Gibberish]
I think he's speaking an alien language.
[Gasps]
I'll make first contact.
- [Beeping]
- Huh?
- Speed that up.
- [Beeping Melody]
Perhaps he speaks
the universal language...
of super-cool dance.
Are you trying to say,
"Get jiggy with me"?
[Hip-hop Beat]
[Continues]
This is how we do it
at Mission Control
Break it down now.
Take it downtown.
Do the moonwalk. Watch me. Watch me.
Add a solar flare.
Breathe compressed air.
[Breathing Loudly]
End with a glide.
Like a rocket ride.
[Lmitating Rocket Blastoff]
I say "Hubble." You say "Telescope."
Hubble.
Huh?
Don't leave me hanging.
[Poole Gasps]
[Ends]
- Anybody?
- [Groans]
Hey. You can't point that at me.
I oversee the department that funds-
Oh!
How dare you!
I'll have you know that
I'm an institution in this institu-
[Kilowatt Giggling]
- [Kilowatt] Whee!
- Oh, check me out!
This is so going on my blog.
- Uh, what's a blog?
- Whee!
- Oh! Be careful.
- I'm on top of the world!
No!
- Whoa!
- Oh, Comet! Oh, no.
[Whimpering]
Whoo!
[Laughs]
Comet, where are you?
You're okay.
- You- Don't ever do that again!
- Ha, ha!
- Huh? Heh.
- He de-particle-ized the senator.
So much for government oversight.
- Maybe we can bring the senator back.
- [Gibberish]
Start talking.
How do I use my new weapon
to destroy planet Malgor?
And where is your leader, Ham?
[Gibberish]
- [BananaBerry Beeping]
- [Creature Snuffling]
Earth to Comet.
Comet to Earth. Come in, Earth.
- Comet! Thank goodness.
- Little buddy.
Are you okay, kid?
Uh, uh, not "kid." Uh, person.
N- Uh, tween. No. Chimp.
Did I just put my foot in my mouth?
Tastes like hair.
Comet- [Chuckles]
Uh, are you all right?
- I'm great. I'm on Malgor.
- Hi, Luna!
Hi, Houston. Hello, Ham.
Hey, Kilowatt. Comet, my man.
Dude, I didn't think
you were ready for the cannon...
and now you're on an alien planet.
So, what's Malgor like this time of year?
It's better than I ever dreamed about.
How, why and when did you blast off?
Yeah, about that.
I was just sitting in the rocket,
and the autopilot just took over.
Ah, but don't worry. Everything's chill.
Chill? You mean
the atmospheric temperature on Malgor is low?
Oh, it's great here.
We're having so much fun.
- Tell them about when-
- [Laughing]
- When we were on the fluvian-
- And after l-
and you almost fell off!
Uh, do you have enough oxygen?
Oh, wait. And you remember
when we were on the jump-shrooms?
Hey, come in, Comet. Whoa. What's wrong?
I think you have to be there.
- Hang tight, kid- uh, Comet.
- [Laughing Continues]
We'll get you home in one piece.
Oh, don't worry about me.
I'll fly back in a week.
- Or three. Uh, T.T.F.N.
- [Laughing]
T.T.F. - What? What's wrong with him?
Honey- [Sniffles]
Our teenager is growing up. [Crying]
It happened so fast.
Guess who I just ran into.
- Old Zartog.
- Huh?
- [Others] Zartog?
- Nice guy. I gave him a tour of the place.
Gave him Level 5 clearance
to Mission Control.
Oh, you should've been there.
It was hilarious.
He stole a device that de-particle-izes
matter, annihilated the senator...
and then announced plans
for the end of the Earth and Malgor.
Hi-larious!
- You did what?
- [Both] He did what?
I did what?
Luna, pull up the spy cam
in Mission Control.
Hit "Command Option 3."
[Growls]
- Holy cow!
- Titan, have you lost your marbles?
- Now tell me how
to blow up a planet with this thing.
- [Gasps]
Oh, no! What have I done?
Oh, not much- just gave Zartog
a way to destroy the entire planet.
I'm going to destroy Ham...
and all the rest of the hairy,
smelly little Earthlings.
I'm thinking our decision to bring
a Freznar-encased alien back to Earth-
big mistake!
Say good-bye, Earth nerds.
[Gibberish]
I know he's speaking alien,
but did he just call us nerds?
I think, actually,
he said something about flour tortillas.
- Just a hunch.
- Hmm.
I thought he said, "Take me
to your all-you-can-eat ice-cream sundae bar."
[Gibberish]
Uh, you know, it may need to go outside
and go to the bathroom.
Where is Ham?
Ah!
[Both Yelp]
Oh. I'm being de-particle-ized...
and having my D.N.A. Transmogrified.
Malgor is next!
[Shrieking]
[Groaning]
- Kilowatt!
- I'm okay.
Need a minute.
[Grunts, Spluttering]
[Sighs]
Head shorted out. Happens.
- Ham, we need a plan.
- Right.
We've got a tech problem
with that zapper...
and we need
our tech genius to fix it.
I thought you guys didn't need me.
[Houston] We'll be toast
if we don't have you back here pronto.
Comet, you are mission critical.
Comet, get here fast.
[Beeping]
If Zartog's got some
sort of de-particle-izer...
I could lose my friends forever.
Ham, Luna, Titan, Houston- everybody.
They could all disappear.
I could be their only hope.
I have to go back.
I know. They're your friends,
and they need you.
I understand.
You have to go.
- And I'm coming with you.
- You'd do that?
Leave planet Malgor, your home?
For me?
Actually, now that you mention it...
I almost crashed getting over here.
I could really use a copilot.
- Great.
- Wait. No. No.
What am I thinking? I can't let you come.
This mission will be dangerous.
If the hypertunnel doesn't kill us
and we don't crash...
we'll still have to face Zartog.
- Am I your friend?
- Yes.
And you're the best friend I've ever had.
- Friends don't let friends down.
- Oh.
[Warbling]
[Laughs]
Let's go.
[Snuffles]
[Kilowatt Panting]
Better strap in. It's gonna get bumpy.
- Aye, aye, Captain.
- Man, I am sure glad you're here.
It was almost lmposslble
trying to fly the shlp on my own.
Those are for the thrust,
and those are for the wing flaps.
They go up and down.
I'll tell you how much and when.
Thrust and flaps. Right-o.
Computer, initiate launch procedure.
[Computer]
Initiating launch procedure.
- Let's light this candle.
- Lighting candle.
[Kilowatt Yelping]
- [All Shouting] Bye! Good-bye!
- [Sighs]
[Kilowatt]
Good-bye, Malgor. I'll miss you.
[Computer]
Return to Earth Inltiated.
[All Panting]
[With Australian Accent]
As you can see...
I'm sneaking down the hallway
to Mission Control, where Zartog's taken over.
Why are you talking
with an Australian accent?
[With Accent]
Accent? What accent?
[Normal Voice]
Oh, I thought it sounded more dramatic.
I'm live blogging
for the Discovery Channel.
Ah, never mind. What's the plan?
Shouldn't the commander
technically come up with the plan?
The commander who let Zartog take over?
Yes, but if I hadn't
let Zartog take over...
then we wouldn't need
the aforementioned plan...
so I was responsible
for creating the demand for a plan.
That, combined with my seniority
and my chiseled heroic looks...
means that I am in charge,
so I get to make the plan.
Okay. So, what's your plan?
Right. [Quietly]
Right, right, right. Right.
Well, I just did
one million ab crunches...
so, uh, time for a nap now.
[Yawns]
[Snoring]
Anyone else have a plan?
Patience, Luna,
whose name rhymes with "tuna."
We wake up Commander Coma,
we sneak in...
I do a little distracting,
and then you guys jump him.
Oh. So, you're gonna do tricks,
and we're supposed to jump him?
- That's your plan?
- Chillax.
Don't be hatin' on my plan.
I'm also gonna pick the lock
and get us into Mission Control.
Da-da-da. Let's see.
Houston's banana closet.
The lock on the new ice-cream sundae bar.
The senator's limo.
Ooh, Luna's locker room.
- [Sighs]
- Kidding. Kidding.
Got you for a second though.
Ha. Here it is. Mission Control.
I thought I was out of fingers.
[Sighs]
[Beeps]
Or one could do it that way.
Hang on, Kilowatt.
- [Thunder Rumbling]
- What's happening?
We're just going through a little rift
in space and time is all.
Well, that makes sense.
[Shrieking]
K.W., you gotta turn off the high beams.
I can't see to pilot.
Control your fear. Control your fear.
Control your fear. Control your fear.
[With Australian Accent] Now I'm sneaking
into Mission Control on my belly...
like a wild croc hunting his prey.
[Snarling]
- Would you shut it!
- [Snores]
[Grunting]
- Titan, stay awake.
- Oh!
This is your last chance.
Quit pretending you don't understand me...
and tell me where I can find Ham.
[Gibberish]
The more it tries to communicate,
the less I understand it.
- But I do find its ugliness
becoming strangely adorable.
- Huh?
Hmm.
Maybe we should try Spanish.
Dnde est "la"cuarto de bao?
[Shouting Gibberish]
In Hindi, we say-
[Speaking Hindi]
[Speaking African Xhosa Language]
No, no, no!
Take me...
to your leader, Ham...
and the other space chimps.
Take me to the one you call Ham!
[Gibberish]
[Zartog]
Where is Ham?
- The little ugly one?
- Huh?
With the dumb look on his face?
The crossed eyes? The big ears?
The moronic expression.
Who looks like this.
"I am Ham. Look at me. I am so stupid."
Oh, come on. Piddles does
a better impression of me than that.
[Lmitating Monkey Chatter]
You want me, Zartog? Come and get me.
- Whoa!
- [Shouting]
- [Snoring]
- Huh?
[Shouts, Grunts]
[Snoring]
[Gasps, Grunting]
- Aha.
- Huh?
Whoa! Yaah!
- Ham!
- Uh-oh.
No! Why?
Why?
I never wanted a de-particle-izer.
I just wanted to build
a low-fat smoothie yogurt dispenser.
Dr. Poole, I have always loved you.
I know, Dr. Jagu. I know.
- Oh! That tickles.
- No.
Shoot. There goes half of Mission Control.
I'm gonna have to bring Comet in
the old-fashioned way-
talk him down.
[Grunts]
Oh, look. Here we are again.
I have you now, Ham.
- Huh? Huh?
- [Beeping]
- [Groaning]
- [Houston] Comet! Comet, come in.
Can you read me? Repeat: Can you read me?
Uh, oh. Read you loud and clear, Houston.
Now, you're coming in real fast.
Comet, you sure you're up for this?
It's not too late
to ditch the ship and eject.
No. I got this, Houston. Trust me.
[Groans]
What happened? Where are we?
- Kilowatt, welcome to Earth.
- [Gasps]
It's even more beautiful
than I ever lmaglned.
Okay, Houston,
it's time to bring this bird home.
Um, let's see.
Uh, up a little, maybe.
Up a little? That's it?
[Computer] Entering Earth's atmosphere.
Danger. Nose cone overheating.
It's okay. Don't panic.
I just got to find a teeny-tiny
little runway down there, somewhere.
- Landing gear malfunction.
- [Houston] You're just gonna have to wing it.
You got to land by slght and feel.
I am feeling something. Fear!
I can't see.
[Screams]
[Houston] Kid, you're going In too fast,
too low and In the wrong zlp code.
Ah, that's better.
Control your fear. Control your fear.
Control your fear. Control your fear.
Up on the left flaps.
- Left flaps up.
- Good.
- Now down a bit.
- Down a bit. Roger.
Oh, I picked a bad year
to quit eating bananas.
Oh, who cares?
[Chomping]
Ah, finally. Now I've got you.
Yeah, you do. But before you destroy me,
how about a little magic?
Tonight, for one night only...
all the way from- well, from over there...
you will see me bend the laws
of physics and reality...
in a way that is... magical.
Ta-da!
[Gasps]
What else do I have in the bag o' magic?
Let's see here. You've seen this one?
Pull the rabbit out of the hat.
[Gasps]
Ohl Oh, very good.
Yeah. It's a short-haired rabbit.
Okay, it's a guinea pig.
You caught me. But it came out of the hat.
- Oh!
- [Grunts]
[Ham]
Hey, hey. Careful wlth hlm.
That is Nlbbles.
He was on the first Mars misslon.
Watch this.
Ah! And this.
Ha! Ha-ha. Ooh, it's magic.
I don't know if I'd eat that
if I were you.
Hang tight. Here comes the big finale.
Whoops. Where'd it go?
Look fast. Presto chango magnifico.
- Ta-da!
- Wa- Wait. Where did it go?
- Where did it go?
- Where did what go?
- Reveal.
- [Jagu Gasps]
The magic runs deep with the monkey.
- Oh, yeah?
- Oh, yeah.
Then wait till you see this.
[Grunting]
Okay, Ham, let's not overdo it.
We have the thing we-
- Oh!
- Not here or here.
- Ah, so it must be-
- Here. Ta-da!
- Ah, so it must be-
- Here. Ta-da!
What's it doing there?
Okay. Uh, abracadabra.
Wham, kazam, thank you, ma'am.
Bing, boom, bangoleer...
de-particle-izer reappear.
Shoot. Uh- No!
Now for my trick.
You're going to disappear.
Say good-bye, Ham.
- Look out!
- Huh? Huh? Oh, no.
I will never realize my dream-
to be the first rocket scientist...
to become a soloist
for the American Ballet Theater.
[Harpslchord, Strings: Classlcal]
[Stops]
What?
[Power Blasts]
- Ham!
- Grrr!
Hello, space toad.
Anyone ever tell you
you're kind of cute when you're angry?
- Well, they lied.
- [Growls]
So, by the way,
what was it like being a lawn ornament?
Make any interesting friends
of the canine variety?
Huh? Arf, arf. Woof, woof.
- [Growls] Hmm.
- Hmm?
- [Gasps]
- [Zartog Grunting]
Huh?
[Yelping]
[Laughing]
Ya-hoo!
Whoa!
- [Grunts]
- Whoa!
Not even close! It was pretty close.
[Snarling]
Take that!
Will you stay still!
Zartog is chasing Ham on jet packs.
[Shrieking]
- That's not good.
- We gotta help Ham.
Landing the ship is gonna be hard enough.
You need to focus on that.
[Grunts]
[Gasps]
Huh?
[Growls]
Aah! Whoa!
- Oh, no. Zartog's on the wing.
- Huh?
[Grunting]
[Both Scream]
[Grunting]
Hold on, Kilowatt.
This could get a little shaky.
Whoa!
[Grunting, Muttering]
Whoa!
[Chuckles]
- [Roars]
- [Shrieks]
[Chortles]
Here's Zartog!
You can't get rid of me that easy.
Maybe we can knock him off.
[Grunting]
[Whimpering]
[Screaming]
- Ha!
- [Groaning, Gags]
You did it, kid. You got rid of Zartog.
Whoo! That was some fancy flyin'.
Now let's land this thing.
I'll get the landing truck.
Come on. Come on.
All right, go, go, go, go.
[Engine Revs, Tires Screeching]
- Level off. I'll try to get under you.
- [Comet] Got it!
[Grunts]
You're still too hot.
- That's it. Easy does it, Kilowatt.
- [Whimpers]
- [Loud Thump]
- Hey!
[Brakes Squealing]
[Exhales]
Yee-haw!
That is what I'm talkin' about.
He nailed it!
That was amazing. Nice job, Comet.
I couldn't have done it without you.
[Giggles]
Aw, shucks.
Earth. I can't believe we made it.
Heh.
Whoa!
[Groans]
Oh.
Welcome home, space chimp.
[Trilling]
[Grunting, Groaning]
- [Gasps]
- Huh?
[Clears Throat]
I hate to break up
this strange reunion, but-
Zartog's back.
[Whimpering]
Kilowatt! No!
Comet. Remember the BananaBerry.
It worked on Malgor. It will work here.
[Sighs]
You're next. Any last requests?
Yeah. I'd like to make a phone call.
- Hmm?
- [Beeping]
Please stop!
[Yelping]
I'm... feeling... funny!
- [Beeping Continues]
- [Yelping]
- [Both Screaming, Slow Motion]
- [Zartog] No!
Yaah!
Wait! I still have so much love to give.
Well, that takes care of Zartog.
And our best scientists
and half of Mission Control.
And my best friend.
Hmm? Huh.
Let me see that thing.
[Beeping]
According to Einstein's theory...
you can double the particle velocity...
inverting the acceleration
and reversing time.
- [Beeping]
- Here goes nothin'.
[Giggles]
[Gasps]
[All Murmuring]
- It worked!
- You brought them all back.
[Chuckles]
That's our boy.
Good work, buddy.
Now that's what I call a magic trick.
[Jagu's Voice]
It seems we've been re-particle-ized.
[Bob's Voice]
Your voice sounds very weird.
[Senator's Voice]
Your voice sounds weird too.
[Kilowatt's Voice]
Their voices are mixed up.
[Trilling] I'm glad mine doesn't sound
like a girl's or something.
[Gasps]
Oh, no!
[Shrieking]
Comet. Can you take care of this?
- [Beeping]
- Already on it.
[Normal Voice]
Testing, testing.
Oh. Now, that is more like it.
I think the chimps just saved us.
Yes, and it appears he has just returned
from a second trip to Malgor...
with even more aliens.
Maybe the chimps should be
running the space agency instead of us.
That would definitely
free up more time for romance.
And ballet dancing.
Testing. One, two.
Testing. Testing. Okay.
Um, this project is officially... weird.
The ray gun thingy is canceled.
All right? Just cancel it.
Just focus on the terraforming mission.
And that's it. All right?
I'm going to eat an ice-cream sundae.
Thank you. Good-bye.
Comet, you saved us. You're a hero.
Can I call you "Captain Comet"?
Yeah! Who flew to Malgor and back
all by himself?
- You.
- Well, not entirely.
I did have some help-
from a very awesome copilot.
[Trilling]
I kind of feel bad about Zartog.
Really? You want him back?
Yeah. His toadlike ugliness and maniacal
pursuit of global domination...
was kind of entertaining.
[Chuckles]
Hmm. Maybe a teensy-tiny bit.
Okay. A teensy-tiny
bit of Zartog comin' up.
[Squeaky Voice]
I am Zartog!
Hear me... squeak?
What the heck?
[All Chuckling]
Vengeance will be mine!
[All Laughing]
[Panting]
- Ladies and gentlemen- [Yelps]
- [Crowd Cheering]
Yeow!
- Tonlght-
- [Whimpers]
In a speclal beneflt to support the
space agency and Save the Chimps Fund...
we have a very speclal surprlsel
Ta-da! Ha!
Introducing the monkey with the most...
the pimp chimp who's no wimp!
Put your opposable thumbs together...
for the one and only Comet!
- [Crowd Cheering]
- "The pimp chimp who's no wimp."
- I'll have to remember that.
- [Crowd Chanting] Comet! Comet!
Comet! Comet! Comet!
[Giggling]
[Crowd Oohing, Aahing]
[Ham]
Now, because you demanded it...
It's time for spln the chimpl
Hopefully, thls chimp
won't toss hls bananas.
[Crowd Gasping, Cheering]
- Is it me, or is this guy great?
- [Crowd Cheering]
Here you go, kid.
Can I really?
Oh! Thanks, Ham.
[Crowd Cheering]
Ready?
Oh, yeah. I am so ready.
Remember, Comet, keep your head up...
and reach for the stars.
[Crowd Gasps]
Whoo!
[Insects Chirping]
[Panting]
- No! Whoa! Uh!
- [Snoring]
[Snuffles]
- [Gasps]
- [Snoring]
[Zartog Whimpering]
[Yelps, Screams]
[Grunting, Groaning]
Huh?
[Whimpering]
[Whines, Yips]
- Nice poochie. Nice poochie.
- [Panting]
- [Barking]
- [Screaming]
[Yelping]
[Barking]
[Giggles]
[Whimpering]
[Yelping, Screaming]
[Giggles]
- [Screaming]
- [Barking]
[Yelping, Whimpering]
- [Barking]
- [Screaming]