1
[]
JESSICA: I've always been amazed
that asteroids can fly in groups
for millions of years
and never touch each other or connect.
They are dead rock
so they find their perfect orbit
and stick to it.
We also want to find
that place of perfection.
But we're not asteroids.
We change, and that's the problem.
The more you try to create a paradise
the more you will resent the prison.
And all you're left with is dreams
of a future
that never happened.
[]
City in my head
Utopia
Heaven in my body
Utopia
It's time for me
For me to go
[COMPUTER BEEPS]
SHIP:
Unidentified pod approaching.
Scan ship identification code.
SHIP:
Scanning.
[]
[PANEL BEEPING]
SHIP:
Counting down. Five, four,
three, two, one...
[BEEPING STOPS]
Lieutenant Marlowe,
you're cleared for landing.
Welcome to Omega 76.
Your room is number 3 on B Level.
Get situated, report to Medical.
I'll meet you on the bridge at 1800 hours.
SHIP:
Docking bay door opening.
Docking bay door closing.
[PANEL BEEPS]
SHIP:
Welcome to the Omega 76 refueling station.
Are you in need of food, lodging or fuel?
Uh, no, thank you.
[]
[ALARM BEEPS]
SHIP:
Caution. UV rays present.
Mom?
SHIP:
Main level. Elevator doors closing.
Hello.
Hmm.
SHIP:
Lieutenant Commander Marlowe,
please report to the medical capsule.
It gives shots.
It's just a routine physical.
They need to make sure
I didn't bring anything
onto the ship
they don't know about.
MEDBOT:
Initiating diagnostic mammography.
[SIGHS]
Glandular tissue results are normal.
[BEEPS]
It's cold.
MEDBOT:
Lieutenant Commander Marlowe,
I have detected some irregularities
in the uterus.
I'm aware of the irregularities.
Dr. Bot, hi.
Welcome, Misty.
I need to tell you
I have just been feeling
so much better
since we started treatment.
I mean, like, even just my dreams
have just been better.
You know, like, I haven't been
having all those feelings
and I'm just really feeling
in the now.
Feelings can sometimes pull one out
of the now and put them in the then.
Live in the now, not in the then.
I don't wanna be in the then.
I wanna be in the now.
Talking about the now
can put one in the then.
I don't want to be in the then, I want
to be in the now. I wanna move forward...
Don't move too far forward,
you'll be out of the now.
Not too far forward.
Stay in the now.
I want to stay in the now.
I am in the now. Right now.
This knob is the ship's thrust control,
which works on a sliding scale of 50.
Obviously, we'd never take it that far.
If, in the case of a proximity warning,
this red light here will go off
and an alert will sound,
which brings me
to the navigation systems.
Have you worked
with any of the F series?
I have worked
with the entire F series, sir.
F15?
Yes, sir.
You've navigated using the F15?
Yes.
I don't know why you didn't stop me.
I'm sorry, I didn't want to interrupt you.
Well, the F15... Wow, wow.
Well, little lady, I'm impressed.
It's Jessica.
What?
My name is Jessica, sir.
I know your name,
Lieutenant Marlowe. Thank you.
Captain Glenn Terry,
here is your Harvey Wallbanger.
Uh, I didn't order that.
But sir...
I'd never order an alcoholic beverage
on the bridge.
You ordered at exactly...
Ted ordered that.
My records indicate you ordered...
Take that to Ted.
So, well, I guess I can skip
the how-do-you-do's,
and put you right to work.
That's what I'm here for, sir.
SHIP:
Attention, crew.
Tonight's luau begins in the rec room
at 1800 hours.
[GUITAR STRUMMING CHORDS]
Could we not do that tonight?
Yeah.
Maintenance Technician Ted,
here is your Harvey Wallbanger.
I didn't order that.
I'll take it. Mm.
How was your day?
I just had some issues from today.
Uh, honey, you shouldn't
take those with alc...
Anyway, my issue...
Your issue, yeah.
My issue is we
can barely afford to buy
Sunshine's school tuition next year.
I'll homeschool Sunshine, so don't worry.
Okay. Yeah, should I, um...? Do you want
me to, maybe, help you out with that?
We shouldn't be talking
about all this stuff
right before we go to bed.
It's really stressful.
Okay. All right.
Your whole vibe is just stressing me.
Yeah.
[]
MISTY:
A female captain?
Lieutenant Commander.
There aren't any lady captains.
Like real captains,
as far as I know. Right?
Right.
Well, she just better wear a bra.
That's all I'm saying.
Anyway, I do not know
what the fuss is all about.
Can you imagine
if I had to run this ship?
I can't even make
our garbage disposal work.
I would crash us right into a sun.
It's a good thing you're not
in control of the ship.
I know, that's what I said.
It's okay. I should get going.
Aah!
Ha-ha-ha!
Hey, how have things been
with you guys since the baby?
Great.
Yeah?
No, I mean, are you guys...?
Is she still...?
Well, doesn't Misty?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, man, all the time.
It took a while, you know?
Yep, we kept it alive
during the pregnancy.
Found ways to get around it.
[CHUCKLES]
You see the new girl?
No.
Nice ass.
I'm a leg man, you know?
Nice legs. Nice tits. Nice ass.
Oh, I would love to:
[MOANING]
[GRUNTS]
[LAUGHS]
Would you?
What?
Ever cheat?
Hell, no.
[DISC RATTLES INTO SLOT]
Fuck, yes.
Welcome wagon! I'm Donna.
Oh.
Greetings. We are so happy
that you're here.
Really, thank you.
That's a... That...
Tada! I brought you
a little something.
For me? Wow, thank you.
This is homemade paper?
Did you make this?
Mm-hm.
I'm very into arts and crafts.
You'll learn that about me.
And I make my own jewelry as well.
That's very kind of you.
Thank you.
DONNA: It's just a fun survival
kit that I put together.
Just a bunch of helpful things.
Oh, don't be precious. It's a little packet
of detergent to get you started
and also a map of the ship.
Great, this is great. Thank you.
Oh, it's nothing.
Very thoughtful.
It's nothing. So my number's
right there up at the top.
Listen, I know everything
about this ship
so you just call me
if there's anything that you need.
Great, thank you.
I will. Thank you.
Great. Well, I'm gonna take off
and get back to some things.
I understand.
Yeah. So...
You have a good day.
Thank you.
DONNA: Carol, listen,
I need to talk to you about something.
Wow.
[]
All you people are fucking imbeciles!
Okay, what if we...
There's no "we," only you.
You. Do your job on your own!
Ahem. I am and I was, but I...
No. No. There is no buts.
I'm not interested in your buts.
Excuse me,
you guys got water showers?
Yeah. Down the hall on the right.
Comes with a free breakfast.
It's gonna feel so good
to get clean again.
[]
Uh...
Hey, it is so great to have
more estrogen on the ship.
Nice to meet you.
Just great to have more female energy.
Really balances things out.
How are you?
That's my Sunshine.
She's so beautiful. Really, I mean...
Yeah.
How old is she?
How old do you think she is?
Like, a guess?
Um, like, I guess she's about 7?
I like to think of her
as an old soul, so...
Oh. She may be. Yeah.
But how old is she in people years?
I don't really like
to label her in ages.
Yeah, I just don't really believe
in ageism, so...
Well, children are really wonderful.
We get wrapped up in our everyday lives.
Yeah. That's true.
How are you?
What do you got there?
You know, I was...
Oh, um, well...
Ah, um...
I was gonna say if you ever
needed someone to babysit or to...
Wow, I am picking up such
a great maternal energy from you.
Well, yeah, kids are great.
Oh, my God. It's really beautiful.
Why don't you have children?
Oh, my, you know, work and time...
Oh, you've gotta have a child.
You really should.
It's amazing. Look at her.
Yeah. Yeah, she's very beautiful.
I would love to. I mean, when I'm ready.
Oh, but don't wait, okay? Don't wait.
There's never the right time,
never enough money.
You have to feel the energy
It's not about money.
And commit and really decide.
I think the energy really opens up.
I will. I will. I will.
Right now, it's about career for me and I...
No, times have changed, okay?
You can have your work, have your baby.
You just have to do it.
You just have to have your baby.
You know what?
I can't have a child,
so I won't be having a child.
You can have a baby. Anyone can
have a baby. What are you talking about?
You know, I have
an actual medical situation
where I can't actually
physically have a child.
Do you know what I mean?
Do you know what I'm saying?
Oh, my... Oh, my God.
Oh, God. I'm so sorry.
No, I mean, you didn't know.
No, I didn't. I just... I...
But I'm so sorry for you. It is horrible.
No, it's not horrible. It's okay.
I'm so embarrassed. Look at me.
I have everything and I am sitting here
taking all of my blessings
for granted.
You know, and I can have a child
and here I am not even realizing
that you just can't and...
You know, we all have things, and I have
a career and I have a life, you know?
And it's not the only way I, you know,
can have a child.
I can adopt and it'll work out.
You know, I'll have one.
It's not a big deal for me.
Hey, hey, hey.
Don't get defensive, okay?
Um...
I would really appreciate if you
didn't say anything to anyone, please.
Of course not. No.
Okay. Thank you.
You're very lucky.
I am so lucky.
[]
MISTY: Mommy has to go to work.
Watch your school tapes.
SHIP: Pharmacy link activated.
Misty, state your prescription.
Valium.
[MACHINE BEEPS]
TAPE NARRATOR:
Argyle."A" Is for "argyle."
Baby."B" is for "baby."
Bucket. "B" is for...
KING:
Hello wonderful people of my kingdom.
Welcome to the world of fantasy.
MAN:
I love you, King.
[EASY-LISTENING MUSIC
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
SHIP: Activating food service preparation.
You have chosen crew meal.
Cow, pasta,
broccoli,
pie.
Crew meal will be available
at 1700 hours.
[DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
GLENN: Hello.
Hi.
I'd like to be captain.
Uh, well, um, that's...
It's a lot of responsibility.
A lot of long hours, a lot of...
Do you like your break?
Yeah, I do. I like it a lot.
It's one of my most favorite things
about being a captain.
Mommy said it's a bad thing
if you smoke.
Yeah, it's bad. It's bad stuff.
We learned in school
that's bad for your lungs.
It can turn them black.
Really? Wow, black.
That's a... That's bad news.
But thank you for the tip. Okay.
Do you like your job?
Yeah, I like my job.
How much do you like it?
I like it a lot. I love it.
I'm a very, very lucky man.
One day I made
my own spaceship
and I was headed toward ground,
and we couldn't...
Isn't it really, really boring
hanging out with me up here?
It's got to be boring to you.
My mom says...
No, no, no.
No mom. Go find your mom.
Search the entire ship for your mother.
Okay?
It's my break too, you know.
[]
Honey, Sunshine, no. No, not yet, okay?
The baby's too young.
You can't come and visit.
You don't know about germs on fingers
and it's just too soon.
I'm not gonna tell you again. Thank you,
sweetie. I'm very sorry. But thank you.
[]
Whoa! Whoa.
Hello. Please watch where you step.
Hey, yeah. Wow.
Got a lot of new plants here.
Yeah, I'm experimenting
with a new soy-based...
There were some plants over there
that I was taking care of.
Yes, don't worry.
I moved them to the back.
Okay. I'll be right back, okay?
Hi.
SUNSHINE: Wow.
You never come to the arboretum?
No, we look at trees
in the projection room.
No way.
You've got to have the real thing.
You've got to be able to touch them
and smell them.
They give off oxygen, you know.
Did you know that? The stuff we breathe.
There was a time when Earth
was covered in them
and the animals would run freely
amongst them.
Hey, don't worry about those plants
back there. I'll take care of those.
I can look after them.
No, you know what?
They're just really...
They're finicky and I'll just... I'll do it.
Yeah. Sunshine, come on.
Would it be okay if Sunshine
stayed here with me for a little while?
Sure. Yeah, her mom
likes her home by 5.
Okay.
I'll see you later. Have fun, you two.
[DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES]
[EASY-LISTENING MUSIC
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
DONNA:
Hmm.
[CRYING]
Hmm.
[CRIES]
Shh.
Oh. Don't pick her up, sweetie.
She needs her rest.
When will the babies come?
Well, any day now.
Why don't you go get a sock out of your
dad's drawer and put it in there with her.
That should make her
more comfortable.
MISTY:
Where are you?
Sir, uh, yesterday on
the ascension over the neutrite
I noticed that you embanked
rather quickly?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Well, what happened was
we ran into an asteroidal pocket.
Didn't really show up on the radar.
If you'd have been here last month,
you would've seen it.
But...
Kind of came out of nowhere.
I also did notice...
Yeah, I'm gonna have to ask you
to stay on that, now,
if we're gonna discuss this.
I also noticed when I was down
in the spacial archives
a compilation of graphs
that I guess my predecessor...
Is his name Daniel, sir?
[SOFTLY] Yeah.
Sir, Daniel?
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Yes.
Yes. That Daniel put together
very, very well, I might add.
I mean, they're really extraordinary,
graphing the trajectories and the way
for us to avoid asteroidal pockets.
Yeah, I know, it's wonderful.
It's a very interesting idea.
Well, I mean, I think this whole
"coming from out of nowhere" thing
is a little dangerous.
Don't you think?
Yeah, yeah. No, I'll give it
some consideration later.
Right now I'm a little busy
with my work.
Well, I actually, sir,
I have them here.
Right.
If you'd like to look at them.
Yeah, I'm just a little busy
with my work.
Okay. Um, I will...
I'll just leave them here for you
and maybe you could take a look
at them when you're not...
I have to speak to something.
I don't know if my manner is brusque
or off-putting at times.
I don't know if as a woman
you find it that way.
But I'm just trying
to do my work here, okay?
I'm very pleased with your work.
You're well-trained and efficient.
I think this will be a good experience,
a, uh, learning experience for both of us.
Right?
Right.
So I'm really happy
that you have new ideas.
And I will let you know
when I'm ready to look at them.
No misunderstanding, sir.
I think men and women, we're all efficient.
Very good.
[]
[EASY-LISTENING MUSIC
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
Hey.
Hello.
Hamburger day today.
Mm-hmm.
[SIGHS]
Oh. Were you...?
Well, I was just gonna sit.
Yeah. I'm finished.
Right.
Right.
[OVER RADIO]
Carmen, wear your red dress tonight
I'll play with the pearls
At your neck in the moonlight
Dreaming of you
I could live in this twilight
I love you
And your red dress in the moonlight
What keeps a man hanging on?
When all the things
That he loves are gone?
[SIGHS]
DANIEL:
Water's warm, Glenn. Come on in.
GLENN: Oh, it's hot.
DANIEL: Heh-heh.
GLENN: But feels nice.
DANIEL: No, this is nice. Get over here.
[GASPS]
Does a change of scene
Mean a change of heart?
No, so
Carmen, wear your red dress tonight
I'll play with the pearls
At your neck in the moonlight
Dreaming of you
I could live in this twilight
I love you
And your red dress in the moonlight
SHIP:
Electrical overload in bath pod.
Correcting power circuits.
Electrical power stabilized.
[SIGHS]
Spread the constellations
In the southern skies
And when I stand
[TED PANTING]
[]
[]
Here we are again
The start of the end
But there's more
But there's more
I only want to see
If you'll give up on me
But there's always more
There is more
International feel
And there is more
Interplanetary deals
Mom?
[]
[GERBIL CHITTERS]
[SCREAMS]
[BOTH MOANING]
[DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES]
[SIGHS]
Feel better?
It looked like
its head was gone.
Yeah. It was.
Where did it go?
Mommy gerbil ate it.
Why?
Did you touch it?
No.
Okay. Don't touch the babies.
It makes the mommy eat them.
But why would she...?
You have five more.
Just relax and let the pill work.
You don't give drugs to a 7 year old!
You could have killed our daughter!
I only gave her half!
I don't care how much!
Don't give her your Valium!
Do not tell me how to raise my daughter!
Your daughter? She's mine too!
You need to chill out!
I'm not gonna chill out!
I won't get catatonic like you do all day!
God!
MISTY:
I know what I am doing.
TED:
You can't give drugs to our daughter.
MISTY: I can't talk about this with you.
I have to go!
I can't rehash it. I can't handle this.
TED: Fine, Misty!
[]
JESSICA [ON MONITOR]:
Ted?
Jessica?
Um, do you have a moment?
Yeah.
Hold on.
Uh...
Press 7-8-3-6-7-5-9-1.
[DOOR OPENS]
Hi.
Hey.
Sorry, my hand was just recharging.
The captain's really getting on me
about the hydrogen tanks.
I'm sorry. If I'd known
you'd needed those,
I would have gotten them for you.
I'm sorry, I shouldn't
have come up so late.
No, no, blame me, you know?
He blames me enough. Yeah.
It's just one more thing.
Tell me about it.
He does blame me?
No. I'm... Not you.
I'm... He blames me.
Oh...
He blames everyone.
Don't listen to him.
He's so full of hot air.
I don't think he got a degree
in bedside manner, you know?
Make sure the intercom's not on.
Oh, right. Beep, you're an asshole.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
I'm sorry, I feel like I interrupted you.
No, no, how's your
first month on the ship?
You know...
Um...
Could I ask you a question?
Sure. Yeah.
Um, do you...?
Why did Daniel leave?
Oh, his family emergency.
But the captain told me
that he got promoted.
No, no, it was a family emergency.
I mean, it's not that easy to get promoted.
You know, you have to put in your time
on a smaller ship, so...
Like, I have two more years here
and then I...
[CHUCKLES]
I'm sorry, I'm boring you.
No, you're not.
Would you like to sit down or just...
Uh, sure. Thank you.
Yeah.
Ah!
Oh, God! Sorry. Sorry about that.
Um...
Sorry.
Yeah, so I, uh...
We have two more years here
and then we get sent
to a larger ship
which I'm really hoping is
Starship 8 because they have
kids running around everywhere.
I think Sunshine really needs that.
Oh, she's wonderful. She's extraordinary.
Yeah, she's great. She's great, yeah.
And Misty's...
She's good.
Yeah, she's good, so...
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, that's Sunshine.
Heh-heh.
We don't let the robots clean up in here
because Misty and I grew up on Earth.
We didn't have robots
to do everything for you, so...
I just feel like it's important for Sunshine
to learn to do things for herself.
Yeah, I've always wondered what it
would be like on Earth. I've never been.
You've never been to Earth?
No.
You're kidding me? Oh.
I kid you not.
Wow, you're really missing out.
That's what they say.
So, what were you, a ship child?
Did you grow up on a moon colony?
No. My parents were separated so I just,
you know, went ship to ship.
Oh.
Yeah, I had...
You okay?
Yeah. Sorry, it's...
It gets a little stiff sometimes.
Wow. Can I...?
It's a Mach II right?
Yeah. Yeah.
Wow. That's from before
the Quasar Revolution.
That's incredible.
Yeah, it's...
Oh. Uh, sorry.
It's okay. It's okay.
You just gotta...
It has a mind of its own.
Yes.
It's military requisitions, so just gotta
take what they give you, you know?
You're so brave.
Well...
What battle was it from?
No, I'm sorry, I understand if
you don't want to talk about it.
[DOOR OPENS]
You don't have to say.
Oh, hi.
Hey.
Hi.
Oh, hi.
Hey.
JESSICA: How are you?
Great. Great.
How are you? Where were you?
I was just programming the meals.
Oh, your food programs,
by the way, are great.
Yeah, she does a great job.
Ship 3 was awful.
Hey, you know what? Let's have a drink.
Oh, God, no. I...
No, no, you have to!
Let's have a drink.
No. Thank you.
Honey, she's got a lot of work.
No, don't leave.
Let's stay. Just a night cap.
Just a night cap?
The tanks, maybe 9:30 tomorrow.
I think the captain would like them
by then, just so you know.
Yes, sir.
Heh-heh-heh.
Okay.
Bye.
See you soon.
Take care.
[DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES]
How are you?
How are you?
Yeah, it's...
Where were you?
[SOFT ROCK MUSIC
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
What is this? Sangria?
Uh-huh.
It tastes off.
Does the fruit taste off to you?
Mm.
Seems fine.
Ah, ah, ah!
You know what?
Earrings. Earrings.
It's gonna hurt me
But I break away from you
Honey, it's too soon. Just...
Let me get into it. Hold on. Keep going.
GAME:
Five hundred.
Five hundred.
Extra ammo bonus. One thousand.
That's how much I feel
Feel for you, baby
How much I need
Well, I need your touch
How much I need
I live for your loving
That's how much
That's how much
GAME:
Ten thousand.
Triple bonus.
[BOTH MOANING]
Oh, yeah! Yeah!
[BABY CRYING OVER MONITOR]
Sleep alone
And late at night I'm dreaming
[TURNS OFF MONITOR]
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, no
Give it all up
Then I give some more
If you'll only love me
Like you have before
Oh, take hold of my hand
I will be forgiven
GAME:
Game over! High score.
Congratulations Lieutenant Commander
Marlowe. You are a winner.
That's how much I feel
I feel for you, baby
[LINE RINGING]
WOMAN:
Space station Lorelei.
Hello. Capsule 436, please.
One moment, I'll connect you.
Thank you.
MAN:
Hello.
Daddy?
Sweetie! Oh, is that you?
Hi. Hi.
Oh, darling, how are you?
Ah. Um...
Actually, I'm not feeling so good today,
and I just... I really want...
Hold that thought. Hold that one second.
I gotta go get the video phone.
No, I really... I just really needed
to hear your voice for a second.
There we go.
Now, can you see me?
Huh? Am I good?
Go a little bit more to your left.
We can just talk. I just really wanted...
How's this? Am I good here?
I can't really see all of you. Back up...
Here? Am I in?
Your mother was the one who knew
how to work this. Can you see me?
Now it's a little bit close.
Just back up a little bit.
How about now? Hmm?
It's fine.
Yeah?
Oh, good. Darling, how are you?
I'm great.
Maybe you're playing
your music too loud.
[SOBBING]
And you're not touching them?
One left.
[]
Hello, it's me
I've thought about us
For a long, long time
Maybe I think too much
But something's wrong
There's something here
Doesn't last too long
Maybe I shouldn't think of you
As mine
JESSICA:
Ted?
[OVER RADIO]
Seeing you
Oh, sorry. Hey.
I'm just bringing her back.
No, thank you. Thanks for watching her.
Oh, it was my pleasure.
I take for granted
That you're always there
Oh, excuse us. We're dancing now.
I take for granted
That you just don't care
Whoo!
Sometimes I can't help
Seeing all the way through
It's important to me
That you know you are free
'Cause I never want to
Make you change for me
[MUSIC STOPS]
[SIGHS]
Whoa! Horsie's going for a ride.
Okay. Honey, Daddy's leg is tired, okay?
Okay.
Hey, so Jessica seemed like
she was in a good mood.
What were you guys talking about?
Hmm?
Daddy, I wanna play
the anti-gravity game.
Okay, honey, you know what your mom
says about that, all right? It's not safe.
You don't have to tell her.
Oh, really? So we're keeping secrets
from your mom now?
Is that it? Secrets from Mommy?
I don't think so.
Ow! Daddy, your hand.
Okay, we can play the game.
All right, but you have to promise me
you're not gonna tell anybody.
I promise.
Okay.
I'll go turn it down.
[SHIP BEEPING]
SHIP:
Warning. Reducing gravity.
All right, spaceship Sunshine
on the launching pad. Are you ready?
SHIP: In five, four...
Yes, sir.
SHIP:...three, two, one.
In three, two, one.
Blast off!
Strolling along country roads
With my baby
It starts to rain
It begins to pour
Whoa. Look at that!
Without an umbrella
We're soaked to the skin
I feel a shiver run up my spine
I feel the warmth of her hand in mine
TED:
That's good.
Ooh, I hear laughter in the rain
Walking hand in hand
With the one I love
You're amazing. Whoa!
Ooh, how I love the rainy days
And the happy way I feel inside
[LAUGHING]
[SIGHS]
I feel the warmth of her hand in mine
Ooh, I hear laughter in the rain
Walking hand in hand
With the one I love
What are you doing?
Hey. Oh. This plant needs to be pruned
in order to grow right.
Oh.
So, I was... It's looking good.
So why are you growing this plant?
Just out of curiosity.
Oh, it's a hobby.
Oh.
I did a scan on it.
I hope you don't mind.
Just to see what its components were.
Its chemical name is
delta nine tetrahydrocannabinol.
I... That... It needs to be...
There's medicine... Medicinal purposes.
And because it's in the flowering stage,
you'll find it would grow a lot better
if you reduce the humidity
by watering it only once a day
with the lights on
for only half the day.
SHIP: Engine powering up.
Engine powering down.
Engine... Engine powering down.
Engine powering up.
Engine powering down.
[LAUGHING]
[COUGHING]
Entire ship doesn't even get that...
What it was even... Meant for it.
And no one...
But that's what makes it so wonderful.
Ooh! Turn around!
It's not even that big of a deal.
It shouldn't even be.
Let's not even try for it.
Ehh...
Consider it part of
the scientific observational process.
Heh.
No, no it...
[]
It's important for you to understand
its effects on humans.
You're bad.
Just inhale it.
There you go.
Yeah.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
Come on. Come on. Come on.
[TED & JESSICA LAUGHING]
Good day. Yes.
Good day, sir.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
[]
What did I forget?
Oh! My folders. My folders.
What do you got there?
Nothing.
Show me what's in your hand.
Sunshine, what are you doing?
It's the last one. I'm setting it free.
Sunshine.
It can live here.
No, it can't live here
because it needs its mother.
No, she'll eat it.
She ate the others.
And if I leave it there, she'll eat it.
It can't live without its mom.
It can't live on its own.
Then why does she kill it?
Sometimes mommy gerbils,
they worry so much
about their babies
that they would kill it before they would
see anything bad happen to it.
Well, then you'll be his mommy.
Please?
Okay.
Gently.
It'll grow up in here.
And when it's big enough,
we can put it back with its mommy.
And she'll be so happy.
Well, she ate
the whole thing this time.
No, Jessica's taking care of it.
It seems like Jessica
is really reaching out to you.
I guess you could say that.
Mm...
Do you like her?
She's okay. How about you?
Not really.
No, I just think she seems
really manipulative.
Do you know what that means?
No.
It means she's a bad person.
I feel like she's just a little bit
jealous of me because I have you.
[CHUCKLES]
Do you pick up on that?
I guess so.
I know you don't like her
because she's jealous
but I do like her
because she's really nice to me.
No, she's not nice to you.
What has she done that's nice?
I've never had any friends before.
[SCOFFS]
That's not true.
I'm your best friend.
I know, but besides you and Dad
and the captain.
Oh.
Okay. Hey.
Come here, sweetie pie.
Don't you think it's a
little sad, really, that
a woman as old as she is is trying
to be your friend?
It's, heh, creepy, almost.
Why would you think that?
Well, it's just I think
she seems like a lonely,
jealous, and manipulative person.
You know, I walked into the bridge
the other night and...
God, you wouldn't believe
what she was doing.
What did she do?
Well, um...
She stole some food.
Yeah, I think she's got some real issues
with food and... Gosh, I wasn't gonna
say anything, but actually,
it was your special sundae.
Yeah, I mean, she didn't even care
that it was your special dessert.
She just went ahead
and ate it anyway.
It's just a sundae.
Whose side are you on? Hmm?
[]
[SIGHS]
[DOOR OPENS]
Ah. He is relentless.
Heh. Jealous?
You bet.
Some wine?
No thanks.
Mm.
Good news.
We are leaving in two weeks
for Starship 8.
[ALL GASP]
That's right. He's gonna be overseeing
all of the docking bays.
WOMAN:
Oh, no, you lucky devil.
That's great. Steve, that's great.
Thanks, Ted.
It is an incredible ship.
Real exclusive, if you know what I mean.
It's not a military ship so it's
only available to people
who can afford it, right?
And they have a mall.
A goddamn mall. Can you believe that?
Four stories of consumer goods.
I'm so excited.
Lingerie, shoes, bags,
leather goods, dresses...
I'm just going through a lot
of fucked-up stuff right now.
I'm having a hard time applying
everything we've talked about.
My husband just keeps coming at me
with his need, need, need.
And I hate the whole fucking vibe
on this ship, and it's pissing me off!
I'm going to up your dosage of Valium
to as much as you'd like.
Yeah. That'll be good.
You have one child.
How is your one child?
[CHUCKLES]
You know, I just can't be everything
to everyone all the time.
You can't be everything to everyone
until you are something to yourself.
Do you, Misty,
feel like you are something to yourself?
I don't know.
I've just been really trying
to get to know Misty.
What makes Misty happy?
What makes me happy?
What makes Misty okay?
Dr. Bot.
Dr. Bot makes me okay.
[DR. BOT'S ALARM WAILS]
Warning. Dr. Bot must
remind Misty not to become
too close to her therapist bot.
I've gotta be close to somebody.
We must keep this professional.
Don't be so cold.
I must maintain objectivity.
But I feel like...
I just feel like you and I have really
been going through it here, you know?
[ALARM BEEPING]
I feel like I have really been
connecting with you.
You know me.
Emotion overload.
I tell you... I just... Stop it!
[DR. BOT POWERS DOWN]
Anyway, um, as I was saying,
I really care about you
and I know you care about me.
[SIGHS]
[ROCK MUSIC
PLAYING OVER HEADPHONES]
Hey.
Clearly, you didn't hear me, Disco Dan.
What's up?
This is how we're doing things,
leaving the
compression valve open while we weld?
No. No.
Because if it is, fine.
I just need to know.
You got it.
Make sure that I'm clear with everything.
I need you to check humidity levels. It's
feeling a little humid to me, on the bridge.
Okay, well, let me just quickly
finish up with these tanks.
I'll get to those levels for you.
I don't need to remind you what happens
when moisture gets
into the current conductor.
I have 120 tanks left to seal
before we enter Zone Alpha.
I'll have to work through the night.
You wrote me up, now you want me
to go do maintenance work.
What do you want me to do?
I just think that you should be able
to prioritize within your own job.
That's what I'm looking for, Ted.
Good critical-thinking skills.
That's what impresses me.
Yeah.
Yeah, so I guess it was Daniel's genius
critical-thinking skills
that got him promoted...
What does Daniel have to do...?
...in one tenth the time
I've been working here.
Please excuse me, if I have to say I don't
appreciate I had to hear from Jessica...
What? What did Jessica say?
That Daniel's been promoted, when you
told me it was a family emergency.
I need you to understand
I have a family
and I've been working
my ass off down here.
Ted, will you just listen to me?
Daniel's mother has got lupus.
Lupus.
And that's why he had to go.
Because of the lupus.
This is what I'm talking about!
This is why I'm not admiral yet!
How am I supposed to soar with eagles
when I'm down here talking to turkeys!
[]
Hello.
Miss Marlowe, I'm guessing.
Yes, thank God.
I thought it'd be late.
It's a Christmas surprise.
Terrific.
Oh, thank you.
Uh-huh.
Thought you'd have a larger ship.
I can't fit my belongings...
We'll get your stuff there
before you arrive.
Don't you worry.
Oh, captain.
Yes.
May I have a word with you?
Hold on. Steve's mother
is in the hibernation chamber.
No kidding.
She wanted her body in suspended
animation until we reached Orion
and she could get that tumor removed.
Mm, yes.
Great. So, do I have to wake her
before we move her to the new ship?
Given that she's in hibernation,
do I really have to
ask her permission?
I'd hate to bother her. Plus,
she is so slow-moving. It would
be so much less of a headache
if we could ship her
in her storage unit with our stuff.
No problem.
Oh, fantastic.
[SIGHS]
You know, if it helps, my grandmother
was in hibernation for five years.
It doesn't.
I realize that I should've
checked with you first.
Yeah.
If it's a matter of care, I'd be happy to...
I'm allergic.
Oh.
So...
I just thought
because of the gerbils that...
Gerbils don't jump up on your lap
or leave hair all over the place.
Could we not
mention this to Sunshine?
Just keep it between us?
Sure.
[]
TED:
Hey.
What are you watching?
Home movies.
Yeah.
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
DONNA:
Well, I don't care. I'm offended.
STEVE: They're having a Christmas party,
otherwise they'd have one for us.
This one?
Fragile.
It just pisses me off.
When Charlotte and Stan left the ship
I threw them a huge
going-away party, right?
Birthdays, anniversaries,
I'm the one
putting the whole goddamn thing
together. I am done. Forget it.
On the new ship,
I am not lifting a finger for anyone.
Good.
You shouldn't have to.
Thank you so much for helping me
with this. I really appreciate it.
You can't imagine the pod this guy
brings. I had to cram everything in.
There's no straps or protections
for the breakables.
No, no, hold on a second.
Take this instead.
Thank you.
His mother.
She looks nice.
Mm.
When she's asleep.
Steve!
What?
Honey, there's no room.
We can't fit her.
We'll make room.
DONNA: There's no room, honey.
She's gonna have to come later
with your sports equipment.
Oh, darn.
[SIGHS]
Would you mind terribly
taking care of all that?
Of, um, uh...
Yeah, sure. I mean,
that would be my pleasure.
No rush.
Okay, now what can
I get you for dessert?
Sundae!
Sundae! Okay.
SHIP: Activating food service.
You have chosen take out.
Sundae.
[SIGHS]
Somebody ate them all again.
How about I get you
some rice pudding?
Oh, let me check the freezer unit.
Maybe there's an extra one
hiding in here.
Okay, let's see.
What's that?
Hmm? Oh.
Oh, darn.
I was hiding it from you.
Okay. Promise you won't tell anyone.
I got this for you for Christmas.
But Jessica says she's allergic
and can't have puppies
running all over the ship.
[]
Excuse me, sir.
I was hoping that we could
discuss Daniel's chart.
You gotta help me out here.
I don't know how they talk to their
superiors on space station Lorelei...
Space station Lorelei, sir,
is an impeccable place.
We were competent, we were efficient...
Yeah, I know.
I've read all the records.
It's not the point.
Well, then you know that I am more
than qualified for this job.
I'm simply saying that if we have
these graphs in front of us
we might as well use them.
I mean, I don't understand.
To ignore them is...
Sir, Daniel clearly spent a better part
of his tenure here working on these.
Sir, did you not respect Daniel?
Did you not like him?
[]
Sir, why did Daniel leave?
What did I tell you?
Well, you said that he was promoted.
Exactly. Exactly. He was promoted.
All right, you know what?
I want to settle this once and for all.
There seems to be
a little confusion about this Daniel thing.
That's really not necessary.
Attention all crew members.
Hear ye, hear ye.
Regarding Daniel's departure,
which there seems to be
a lot of confusion about.
I want to tell you this once and for all,
Daniel was promoted.
Okay?
Yeah, and also,
I am given to believe
there was some
family emergency as well.
So there you have it
in black and white.
Case closed.
[GAS HISSING]
[SIGHS]
SHIP: Warning, airborne chemical
detected in tank storage three.
Now ventilating.
Hey, Sunshine.
What are you up to?
Um, just talking to my mom
about different things.
It's not about you.
It's about someone else.
I have a little bit of free time
if you want to go the arboretum with me.
Um...
No thanks.
We could look at the bonsai tree
like you like to do. You don't want to go?
Well, is it, um, just
that you don't want to go
or you don't want to go with me?
It's just because I don't want to go,
for some reason.
I don't know why,
but I just don't really want to.
Okay. I understand.
Listen, it was really cool
talking to you.
[]
[GASPS]
[SOBBING QUIETLY]
[COMPUTER BEEPS]
SHIP: Attention crew, don't forget to
vote for the new cafeteria wallpaper.
Decision will be final at 1200 hours.
[DOORBELL CHIMES]
BOTH:
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you...
Very... That's very good.
I'm a little busy right now.
Please don't inhibit her creativity.
BOTH: We wish you a merry
Christmas And a happy New Year
Merry Christmas!
Okay. Come on.
[]
Hologram chamber on.
DANIEL: Hold on one second.
Let me come out. Sorry.
[DANIEL CLEARS THROAT]
I've... Glenn?
Daniel. Uh, this is a bad time.
You know, I could
hologram later. I'm sorry.
What is it, Glenn?
Um, you look good. How are you?
I'm great.
You look great.
So you're on the Nostradamus now.
Yep. You found me.
I guess you got that promotion.
Yes, incredibly.
Considering what happened.
Right. Anyway...
Also serving under Lawrence Wilson.
Fantastic leader.
Total role model.
Uh, wait.
Larry Wilson is the captain of the
Nostradamus? You gotta be kidding me.
He's actually an admiral now
Yeah.
And I believe he prefers "Lawrence."
Well, I mean, you know,
I've known him for years as Larry so...
I know that one very well. Ahem.
Not like that.
I don't know him that well.
Oh my God,
it's okay to know a man well, Glenn.
Reason for calling, um,
besides saying hi,
I just want to know if you happened
to get this notice. What was it?
Yeah, "You are required to report
to 20 hours of therapy."
I mean,
over your little AWOL episode.
Did you happen to get this too?
This one?
My little episode?
My little episode, Glenn?
Well, Daniel, you are the one that left.
I left because you had to be drunk
to make love to me
then you sobbed
in your pillow afterwards.
I want to remind you
that you have to be very careful
about the way you talk
about these things, um,
especially in therapy because that...
It's very delicate...
Aye-aye, sir.
And careers can be affected.
Just...
What? Is someone with you?
No, no, no. I need to go.
Was he there the whole time?
You don't have to worry about...
Who? Who was it? Was it Larry?
Bye, Glenn.
SHIP: End of tape.
DANIEL: End of what?
Nothing. Nothing.
Were you recording this?
You sad, pathetic...
[]
Hey.
Hi.
I got your message. What...?
I, um, really need... Aah! Ow!
Oh, God.
Are you okay?
Here, sit down. Sit down.
Okay. Okay.
Sorry it's so late.
No.
I just, um...
I needed to talk to someone.
Yeah.
Do you ever...?
Do you ever feel like you're
just floating around in space
and there's no one there?
I mean, no one there to check you or...
I don't know. I mean,
there's no family or friends or...
I don't know.
Do you ever feel crazy?
[OVER RECORDING] Glenn?
GLENN: Daniel. Sorry.
[TAPE REWINDING]
No, no, no, I need to go.
GLENN: Was he there the whole time?
You don't have to worry about...
GLENN:
Well, Daniel, you are the one that left.
DANIEL: I left because you had
to be drunk to make love to me
then you sobbed in your pillow...
To make love to me, then you...
To make love to me...
I feel like we have so much in common.
I do too.
I mean, we're both
these fractured people.
You lost your hand
in battle and I...
I am... I have
I...
Yeah, um...
I didn't...
I didn't lose my hand in battle.
I shot it off while cleaning a laser-refractor
piston my first week of service.
So...
I don't care.
I understand.
I...
[]
[ROBOTIC HAND
SERVOS WHIRRING]
Ow.
Sorry. Okay, let me...
Ted.
No, I have to... It's okay. Stay still.
Ow. That hurts.
Ow, Ted, make... Make it stop!
I'm sorry. Oh, God.
Get it off! Ow! Get it off! Ow!
No, if I get it... You have to...
Ow, ow, ow!
Stop. Darn it!
You had to...
Yeah, do it like this.
Oh, God. I'm... I am...
Okay, well, I mean...
My hand just... You know...
It was my fault.
No, no, it wasn't.
It was my hand.
No, no.
Just got a little...
I turned it on.
I think I should go now.
What?
No, we... Can we?
[SIGHS]
I need you to make love to me, Glenn.
I need you to make love to me, Glenn.
I need you to make love to me, Glenn.
I need you to make love to me, Glenn.
I need you to make love to me, Glenn.
[INCREASES VOLUME]
I need you to make love to me, Glenn.
I need you to make love to me, Glenn.
I need you to make love to me, Glenn.
I need you to make love to me, Glenn.
I need you to make love to me, Glenn.
I will.
I need you to make love to me, Glenn.
I will.
I need you to make love to me, Glenn.
I will.
I need you to make love to me, Glenn.
I need you to make love to me, Glenn.
I will.
I need you to make love to me, Glenn.
I need you to make love to me, Glenn.
I need you to make love to me, Glenn.
I need you to make love to me, Glenn.
I need you to make love to me, Glenn.
I need you to make love to me, Glenn.
I need you to make love to me, Glenn.
[]
Hello, I am Dr. Bot.
Hello.
Searching voice database records.
GLENN [ON RECORDING]:
Hello.
DR. BOT:
Welcome, Lieutenant Glenn Terry.
Actually, it's "captain" now.
Updating file.
Welcome, Captain Glenn Terry.
Shall we take a voyage
of discovery together?
Why not?
What problems inside
of Captain Glenn
would Captain Glenn
like to work on?
Just for the record,
I have no problems inside of me at all.
And this is new for me.
This was not...
Being open to change is the first step
on the road to mental health.
I just need you people to know
that I'm not being hesitant.
Hesitation often leads to revelation.
Duly noted.
I have noted it as well.
That would be the "duly" part.
That's the two of us.
Correct.
What are you thinking
in the midst of this silence?
Actually, I was thinking about smoking.
Cigarettes contain
carcinogens which may
cause cancer
in carbon-based life forms.
Right.
You are a carbon-based life form,
therefore, cigarettes may cause
cancer inside you.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Can I smoke?
May I smoke here, please?
Perhaps you'd like to try Valium?
Smoking is kind of my Valium,
so honest...
They are two entirely different drugs.
Nicotine is a stimulant.
Valium is a sedative.
Is it?
Yes, it is.
I was not aware of that.
Captain Glenn, how have things
been on the ship for you?
Status quo.
We're having a Christmas party
for the people on the ship.
Dr. Bot politely declines your invitation.
It's humans only,
so that's really a non-issue. Okay?
Anyway,
I'm supposed to be pretending
that these people are my friends when...
You have to be a friend
to have a friend.
They're not friends. They are colleagues.
A friend in need is a friend indeed.
Friend.
Make new friends.
Keep the old, for one is silver
while the other one is gold.
Gold.
Remember the golden rule:
"Do unto others as you
would have them do unto you."
Silver.
Every cloud has a silver lining.
[LAUGHS]
Cigarette.
Cigarettes contain carcinogens
which may cause cancer
in carbon-based life forms.
You are a carbon-based life form,
therefore cigarettes
may cause cancer inside you.
Hmm.
[]
You're gonna make us late for the party.
Where were you?
I was just finishing up some business.
You ready?
Yes.
SHIP:
Autopilot activated.
[SIGHS]
Hey, there he is.
WOMAN: Donna.
Hi, Susan.
Oh. I thought you'd left.
Can't pass up a Christmas party.
Uh-huh. Well, enjoy.
Hey.
Hi.
How are you?
Good. How you doing?
Could I get you something, or?
Oh, um, I...
Oh.
Um...
[CHUCKLES]
I will have another.
All right.
Thank you.
[OVER SPEAKERS]
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh
Hmm. There's no cake.
There's a cake.
Yeah, it is a Christmas cake.
Have a drink, Donna.
In a one-horse open sleigh
He laughed as there I sprawling lie
And quickly drove away
Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh
Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh
You know, my mom... Heh-heh.
My best... I'm sorry.
What were you saying?
My mom always had...
This is really boring.
Let's play a game.
I thought we left Sunshine
back in the capsule.
[ALL CHUCKLE]
Let's play a game. Come on.
What kind of game do you want to play?
Um...
Okay, everybody goes around
and tells a secret.
Oh, I don't like secret games.
I don't know about that.
Yeah, I don't really have any secrets.
Oh, I have a secret.
I'm gonna get a beer really quick.
Can you get me one too, please?
Yeah.
Oh, I want him to hear my secret.
Ted, come back here please.
We'd like to get this over with.
We're going.
Oh, no, honey, come on.
I wanna play.
I love games, but maybe charades.
Something we can all play together.
I'm leaving. You coming?
Honey, you're being silly.
What's wrong, Steve?
It's just a game.
Okay.
[GIGGLES]
[MUSIC STOPS]
Okay.
My secret is
I have never had an orgasm.
Um, I don't think that...
Well, yeah, that really is probably
more his secret.
[CHUCKLES]
Heh. That's good. No,
that's a good one. That's... Yeah.
You know what, we shouldn't...
No, no, it's okay. It's okay.
Good game, Misty.
Yeah, you got everybody
gathered around in here.
Come on, anything else
you want to say to me?
Look at me! Look at me, please.
You got something you wanna say,
say it. I am ready to hear it.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa.
GLENN: Ted, settle down.
[]
JESSICA:
It's okay.
She has a secret too.
Don't.
Misty.
Why don't you tell everyone
your secret.
Look, let's not... Please, let's not play
this game anymore.
It's not funny.
I know why you wanna stop.
You know why? Because I don't like you.
That's my secret.
[LAUGHS]
That's not a secret.
I don't like you, either.
Shut up, Misty.
Ted, it's okay.
Now, Ted, honestly,
that is no way to talk to a lady.
Yeah, you would know.
Uh, yes, I would.
You would know. Yeah.
Ted, Ted, Ted.
Does anybody ever wonder why
she always has to act like a man?
Stop. Let's stop now...
Why she's always up on the bridge
acting like a man.
JESSICA: Stop.
I would like to know that.
Okay, Misty, drop this right now
because it's really not funny.
Maybe it's because
she's not a real woman.
Misty.
Maybe she's not
a real woman because
she can't have...
Stop it!
Enough!
Whoa! Okay, just back off.
You don't need to scream at her.
Sir, this is none of your business.
It's none of my business?
I'm just the captain of the ship.
It's none of my business. That's perfect!
I understand...
I don't care if it's the main room,
main bridge, rec room,
playroom, toilet room,
it's my business!
I don't care if it's irrigation duct
level fucking 7! It's my fucking business!
Your attitude since
you've shown up here
has been to tell me what to do, how
to do it, with a chip on your shoulder!
Why can't you just be a woman?
Why can't you just be a man?!
What does that mean?
Excuse me, forgive me, sir,
but you are the last person
I'd think would be demanding
we should stick to conventions.
I have no idea
what you're talking about.
Sir, you're gay!
You are a gay man and we all know it.
He's what?
[TAPE REWINDING]
JESSICA [ON RECORDING]: Sir, you're gay!
You are a gay man and we all know it.
Now, how could...?
Uh, you can't know something...
You can't... Like that. That's...
Something like that is not...
It's not true. Daniel and I were never...
We are not together.
We weren't together. There's...
Ask him.
He will tell you! I promise.
I only stay with you
because of Sunshine.
Do you know that?
Yeah.
I know that.
[CRASHING]
[]
SHIP:
Alert.
[ALARM BEEPING]
Alert.
Alert.
[]
[GASPS]
[]
[ALL CHATTERING]
[DOOR OPENS]
[WATER DRIPPING]
[]
DANIEL [ON RECORDING]:
I need you to make love to me, Glenn.
I need you to make love to me, Glenn.
I need you to make love to me, Glenn.
I need you to make love to me, Glenn.
I need you to make love to me, Glenn.
I need you to make...
SHIP: Tape erased.
Hello?
Sunshine?
[CLEARS THROAT]
[SIGHS]
[]
SHIP:
Warning, reducing gravity in five,
four, three,
two, one.
[]
[]
It was late last night
I was feeling something wasn't right
There was not another sight
Only you
Then you gazed up at me
And the answer was plain to see
'Cause I saw the light
In your eyes
In your eyes
Though we had our fling
I just would never would
Suspect a thing
Till that little bell began to ring
In my head
In my head
But I tried to run
Though I knew
It wouldn't help me none
'Cause I couldn't ever love no one
Or so I said
'Cause my feelings for you
Were just something I never knew
Till I saw the light
In your eyes
In your eyes
But I love you best
It's not something that I say in jest
'Cause you're different, girl
From all the rest
In my eyes
And I ran out before
But I won't do it anymore
Can't you see the light
In my eyes
In my eyes
In my eyes
In my eyes