1
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
The Heliotrope Public Library
will be closing
in approximately 25 minutes.
A reminder that kids under 12
are welcome to stay after hours for our
annual children's Valentine's party.
Hey!
Wally!
How's the book coming, Wally?
I don't wanna talk about it, Peter.
Wally!
Shit.
Hey, Robby.
Um...
great.
Hey, you should check me out
on, uh, NPR this Saturday.
Bookworm with Michael Silverblatt.
Great interview.
You'll love it.
-Nice.
Karina!
Come out here.
Wally, I want you to meet
my new girlfriend, Karina.
She's from the neighborhood.
Hey.
So, Wally, any Valentine's plans?
Not that I can think of.
That used to be me.
It's amazing what having a lady
in your life will do for you.
It's one of the perks
of being published. You'll see.
Wally!
Wally!
Hey, Wally!
-Hey, Sasha.
Hey.
You okay? You look really upset.
-I'm fine.
Okay.
Listen, I wanna invite you
to an "unlovable party" tonight.
"Unlovable party"?
Is that one of those parties
where everyone without dates
gets together and commiserates?
It's fun.
You know what, Sasha? I'll think about it.
Great.
I mean, how polite is it for you
to invite me to this thing
considering you know
I'd really like to go out with you?
You're overthinking this. I...
Is that a surprise?
Wally, come to the party.
We'd love to have you.
Okay? There will be some nice women
from my graduate program there.
I'll e-mail you the details.
-Don't be crushed if I don't come.
Don't worry, I won't be.
Hi, Rex.
Why, Rex, why?
Another dog.
Hey, Wally. Check it out.
I'm reading Robby LeBeau's book.
It's a real page-turner.
Actually, it's kinda good.
I'm surprised.
You just got to get published, Wally.
Shut up, Rex!
The dog hates me.
No, he doesn't. He loves you.
He just doesn't know how to express it.
Garbage.
Happy Valentine's, Wally.
Hope you like 'em.
I brought some for Kevin, too.
-They are amazing.
All right!
Get dressed, Wally.
Three of us are going to The Elysian.
-Yup.
My mom gave me some money
to take someone special to dinner,
and I thought I'd bring my two lovers.
No way, Jesse.
Yes way, Wally!
Come on, we are not
gonna mope around tonight,
and plus, you've always wanted
to go there, okay?
The Elysian, on me.
Can we go on another night
when it's a little less humiliating?
No. It's not as romantic on another night.
Kevin's down.
He said I can order anything on the menu.
And you can too, Wally.
Come on, I made a reservation.
I'm sorry, Jesse,
I'm not gonna sit with you two
at the most romantic restaurant
on the Eastside
while couples stare
into each other's eyes.
Thanks for the chocolates. Come on, Wally!
The three of us can sit around here
all night and feel sorry for ourselves
or we can get out there
and have a good time.
It's Friday night!
Don't let this Hallmark holiday
bring you down.
Okay, Kevin and I will go alone.
Come on, Kevin.
It's no wonder you're stuck. You're gonna die in here, Wally.
Fuck me.
That's it. I can't take this anymore.
I can't believe we're going home alone,
sleeping by ourselves.
Happy Valentine's.
No.
Guess there's always
Sasha's "unlovable party."
No, no. No way.
We got to get out of here.
We need to go where normal people go.
No. Tonight.
There's this guy who comes
to the video store, Mark Stein.
I know him.
Yeah. Well, when Mark can't get laid
for a couple of months,
he drives down to this great club
in Vegas, Friday nights,
hooks up every time.
You know, Kevin, if we leave right now,
we could be there by one.
Are you crazy?
It's Valentine's night.
I mean, no women are going to...
No, no, no. Think about it.
No single woman in that club
is gonna wanna go home alone, right?
They're all gonna be looking for love.
It could be the best night
of the year to go.
Yeah.
In a weird way, that makes sense.
So, what do you say?
I know I don't wanna go home.
I'm game.
And he's certainly in no position
to object.
So, yeah.
Luck be a lady tonight.
Um...
where are we Take a guess.
Uh, Las Vegas?
Surprise! But I don't wanna be in Las Vegas.
I wanna be in my bed.
Oh, relax, Wally.
You slept the whole way,
you didn't even have to drive,
you should feel refreshed.
I promise, this is gonna be
the best night of your life.
Fuck...
me.
How is it in there?
A lot of fun.
How much?
Twenty bucks.
This is love.
This is love.
I guess he's mad.
I'm mad, too.
You could have said no.
Look, there's Mark Stein.
Mark!
Mark! Hey.
Hey, Jesse.
How's it going?
Good, good.
It's, uh...
pretty dead tonight, ain't it?
It seems that way.
Yeah.
Thought it'd...
you know...
be really crowded.
Me, too.
I guess the single chicks
were too embarrassed to go out tonight.
You should have seen
the last time I came here.
So many hot-looking, willing girls.
Yeah, yeah. You...
told me.
The go-go dancers aren't bad.
-They might wanna mingle a little.
-Both married, got kids, not interested.
Oh, my god.
Is that Wally Spivak?
Yeah, yeah, Wally's here.
Wow.
Cloud over this club
is darker than I thought.
Hey.
Pardon?
I just... wanted to say hey.
Hey.
What's up?
I'm sorry, I...
I really don't have any money.
I don't understand.
I'm broke.
Oh!
Oh, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I am... I am not... that.
I just... I... I just...
-I didn't mean...
-No, it's... It's okay.
Would you...
like to come up to my room?
I'm staying at The Venetian.
It's not that far.
I'm... I'm not quite following.
You want me to come to your room?
Yeah. I mean...
It's something I really feel
like I should do.
Are you interested?
If not, um...
-I guess I could pick somebody else.
-No, no, no. I'll...
I'll come to your room.
Is it just gonna be you and me?
Yes. Yeah.
The two of us.
Uh...
Okay, then.
Let's go.
You sure?
Uh...
Who are you?
My name is Jeanine.
I manage a store specializing
in men's shaving at Century City.
Your body is so soft.
Is that bad?
No.
No, I like it.
I live in L.A. too, on the Eastside.
Where is that again?
East. Near Alvarado?
Oh.
I've never been there.
Who are you?
I'm Wally.
And?
What do you do?
Um... I'm a...
-I'm a writer.
-Hm...
I'm sorry.
I don't read.
That's okay.
I don't know why,
but I find that to be so hot right now.
Thank you.
I'm going to leave now.
I had a great time. Thank you.
Checkout is at eleven. Have a great day.
Have a great day.
["Bluebird" by John Cacavas
and Hal David playing]
I've got a blue bird
Outside of my window
Just like that blue bird
I'm ready to fly
I've got a whole world
Outside my door
Im gonna go places
Like never before
I've got a big dream
To get to the big time
I'll make a big noise
Do wonderful things
I've got a blue bird
Outside my window
- Just like that blue...
-Good morning.
Hey, Wally.
We're glad you found it.
Wally, where did you go?
Your phone was off.
We were looking for you all night.
Oh. Wally, you know Mark Stein.
Hey, Mark. Hey, Wally.
You know, I just wanted
to thank you, guys.
You were right.
We got out of our comfort zone,
and I finally got to meet
a nice, normal girl.
Not judgmental, not hung up,
just as sweet as can be. How much did she cost?
Nothing.
I met her at the bar in the club.
Uh-huh, Wally.
Nope.
It was strictly N.S.A.
Just two consenting adults
enjoying each other's company for a night.
It's the best Valentine's Day
I've ever had.
Come clean, Wally.
It's bugging me.
Just admit that it didn't happen.
Let him have his fun, Jesse.
A fantasy is better than nothing at all.
Mr. Westrum.
Mr. Chuck Westrum, your table is ready.
What's wrong?
It's her.
Her. I don't want her to see me.
The gorgeous blonde?
Yes.
Yeah, right.
Okay, enough, Wally.
This game is getting old.
It's not a game.
Okay. -I'm gonna go get her.
-No! No.
It was a one-time thing.
It will ruin it to see her again.
-Oh, here he is. Hey.
Hi, babe.
We're ready.
How do you explain the boyfriend?
I knew you were a liar.
Now, that guy makes sense.
Oh, my god. Hello.
Who is this, babe?
Chuck, this is the guy from last night.
Oh, hi.
Very nice to meet you.
She's something else, isn't she?
Well...
enjoy your brunch.
What just happened?
Maybe she really was a prostitute
and took a liking to Wally,
and that guy was her pimp.
He didn't look like a pimp.
How do you know
what a pimp looks like these days?
It's Las Vegas. Everything is cleaned up.
It's possible. You're right, Wally.
She was beautiful in a normal kind of way.
Shit, we gotta get gas.
Hey.
Look who's here.
Oh, my god.
Wally, you have to ask them
what was going on.
You know you're dying to know.
This is your one opportunity.
-Okay.
Yes.
Stand up.
This will be weird.
Excuse me. Excuse me!
Sweetheart, look who it is.
Hey.
Oh, wow!
-What a weird...
-I know.
Are you heading back to the Eastside?
Back to Century City?
-Actually, we live in Cheviot Hills.
-Right.
Jeanine just works at Century City,
at The Art of Shaving.
I know.
I just wanted to ask...
I didn't understand...
It was just a little confusing to me,
uh, about her and me,
and then, and then you and her.
Totally understand your confusion.
Whole damn thing is my fault.
You see, Jeanine and I,
we're getting married in June,
and before we do, I just felt like
it was very important for us
to spend one night with another person
-to, you know, get it out of the system.
-Right.
We were gonna do it tonight,
but then, when we got to Vegas, we...
I don't know, it just seemed weird
to spend Valentine's together,
and then sleep with someone else
the next night.
-Yeah.
-So last night,
I had this stripper
from the Sapphire Club,
not a lot going on upstairs,
if you know what I mean.
But just, like, been around the block
-Babe, let's...
-which is just... Yeah, but it's perfect
for this kind of thing.
And I told Jeanine,
I told her to go
and find something similar,
you know, like a Chippendale,
love-them-and-leave-them kind of dude,
I didn't.
-but, no.
She went and found herself
a nice guy like yourself.
And, listen, she and I both feel
that she made a terrible mistake.
I am so sorry, Wally,
if you thought that you and I...
It was not my intention at all, and I...
I really feel terrible about it.
Are you okay, champ?
Yeah. Yeah, no problem.
No problem at all.
Congratulations on your marriage.
-Thank you.
-Thank you.
Hey, Wally.
Think about it.
-She could have had anybody in Vegas,
-Oh.
-she picked you.
-Hm.
Let's get out of here.
There's something wrong with those people.
Something seriously wrong.
You don't mind that we didn't spend
another night in Vegas, do you?
Oh, no. No, it's fine.
I am so glad to be home.
Are you okay?
Mm-hm, totally.
It was a bit weird, wasn't it?
Yeah. Just a little.
I mean, what was he like?
What?
-Chuck.
No. We agreed to never talk about that.
Yeah, okay. All right, you're right.
I'm sorry, you're right.
I'm sorry.
It's just, I still feel so bad
about what I did.
Don't feel bad about it.
I just...
I wish I could make it up to him.
Maybe we could set him up with someone?
Oh, come on.
I mean, who do we know that would be...
-okay with a guy like that.
-Oh, yeah, you're right.
Wait.
What about Tammy?
Tammy Delacourt?
No...
-No.
-No.
No! Tammy Gordon from the gym.
-The Laker Girl.
Yeah.
-Ooh.
-Yeah.
She seems open-minded.
I bet she'd really dig him.
-Actually, that's not a bad idea.
-Yeah.
Yeah, and she just got out
of that terrible relationship.
Wally would be a good change for her.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
-All right. That's perfect.
-Yeah.
I'll see if she's interested.
Who knows?
Maybe they'll like each other.
Wally.
Wally!
I'm late for work, Robby.
Did you catch the piece about me
in The Paris Review?
No.
Anything else?
You know, Wally,
if it makes you uncomfortable,
you don't have to read it.
A Street Urchin Finds a Voice.
In his excruciatingly beautiful memoir,
MacArthur Parked,
Robert "Robby" LeBeau has burst
onto the American literary landscape...
Hi, sorry to bother you,
but I'm looking for this guy called Wally.
Uh, little dude, like, 5'7",
140 pounds on a good day.
Uh, he's a writer.
You know him?
Are you a cop?
Am I a cop? No, I play golf.
Um, in fact, I was on the tour
for a couple of years,
and, uh, now, I'm a golf pro
at the Cinque Terre Country Club
in the Palisades.
You know it?
-Uh...
I'm just curious why you don't seem
to know this guy's last name.
He never told it to me.
Hm.
Uh, I don't wanna cause any trouble.
I just thought, you know,
he's a writer and this is a bookstore,
there'd be a connection.
Hi! Is, uh... Is Wally here?
No.
You're one of his friends
from Vegas, right?
Good to see you again.
Thank you.
So, Jeanine and I, we, uh...
We felt terrible
about everything that happened, and...
Well, we were hoping that we could
set Wally up with our friend, Tammy.
She's this really great girl.
You wanna set up Wally?
Yeah, with our friend, Tammy.
I think he'd really dig her.
She's a Laker Girl.
A Laker Girl?
Yeah, she's very good.
You're kidding me, right?
Who knows Laker Girls?
Jeanine and I know several.
Wally loves the Lakers. He's a fan.
He'd definitely be into it.
Perfect!
So, we were thinking Friday,
for lunch maybe,
at the Cinque Terre Country Club
in the Palisades, say, around noon?
Okay.
So...
it's a plan?
Yes. Absolutely.
No way.
You're a coward.
Wally, great writers
lead interesting lives.
Do you agree?
With some exceptions.
Emily Dickinson never left her room.
Is that true, Kevin?
As far as we know, Jesse.
I'm gonna look it up later.
But for the most part,
do you lead an interesting life?
You gotta start living life, Wally.
I don't wanna be harsh, but...
you got nothing to write about. That's why you've been working
on the same novel
for three-and-a-half years.
But I don't wanna write about Laker Girls.
You're missing the point.
You're gaining street cred.
You go to Vegas,
you hook up in a hotel room,
and then you date her friend
who happens to be a Laker Girl.
You go to Bangladesh,
you get a Euro pass,
you take the train all over Europe.
I don't know. You enrich yourself.
You get a buzz about you.
People start wanting to hear
what you have to say.
Robby LeBeau would go.
Exactly!
When Robby came to town,
he got into plenty of trouble.
You know that's bullshit, Kevin.
It's irrelevant.
I don't understand.
Back in the day,
Robby had this drug jones.
He had to pull tricks in MacArthur Park
in order to keep the pills coming.
Robby's a liar.
Tell that to Alan.
Who's Alan?
The 70-year-old man
who fell in love with him.
Wow.
And you can't even go out
with a Laker Girl?
What a pansy.
Fuck me.
Welcome to Cinque Terre, sir.
Oh.
From the very beginning,
we decided this museum
is going to be a huge project.
Can I help you, sir Yes, um...
I'm here for lunch with Chuck,
Jeanine, and Tammy.
Oh, yes. They asked
if you would meet them by the first tee.
Is something wrong, sir?
Wally!
Hi!
-Come down!
-Yeah, yeah.
-Come on.
-Stairs over there. Come here.
Wally.
Hi, Wally.
Hello.
Wally, I'd like you to meet Tammy.
Hi, Tammy.
Hi, Wally.
Guys, I thought we were having lunch.
We are, but we thought it might be fun
to play around and golf first,
work up an appetite. You in?
But, uh...
I know you didn't bring
any of your equipment, but it's okay.
We'll go over to the pro shop,
get you everything you need.
-We have Titleist, Callaway...
-Chuck. I don't play golf.
Oh. Oh, Wally, I'm so sorry.
That's just so rude of us
to just assume, isn't it? We...
Well, we'll go get lunch, okay?
We'll just eat.
Absolutely!
Not a problem at all.
-It was stupid of us. Yeah.
-Yeah.
And that's okay. Right, Tammy?
Of course.
Come on, come on. Let's grab our stuff.
Guys?
If it's okay, I'd like to give it a try.
Attaboy, Wally!
Attaboy! That's the spirit.
Go play golf.
Now, Wally, remember,
in the game of golf,
we have two objectives.
We wanna hit the ball a certain distance,
and we wanna hit the ball
a certain direction.
Now, I want you to have
a clear picture in your mind
of exactly where you want the ball
to end up.
In the hole?
Yeah, a hole in one.
That's it, Wally. You aim for the stars.
Now...
-He is ambitious, Chuck.
Yeah, he sure is.
Now, when I take my hands away,
I want you to bring the driver back
like we discussed,
and then follow through the ball, okay?
You got this.
-He's gonna great.
-Yeah.
Oh.
God.
Oh, my god.
It's an owl.
An owl?
I hit an owl?
Don't worry, Wally. It's okay. Probably just got his bell rang.
-Look at his eyes.
Oh...
What have I done?
Wally, trust me. He's fine.
Hey, pal.
Are you okay, little fella?
Hey.
Sorry about that, mate.
Attaboy.
It's all right.
You see, that's what I love
about this game, Wally.
You never know
what's gonna happen next, eh?
It's probably not even the first time
he's been hit.
Well, it's a good sign he flew away.
See? There you go.
You also got to take into account
that he's probably not used to daytime.
Your ball is probably over there,
somewhere. Don't worry, we'll find it.
Jeanine tells me you're a writer.
It's impressive, Wally.
I've never been friends
with an author before.
Oh, there was this Asian kid
when I was in university
that I wanted to be friends with.
But, you know, I was in the golf team
and he was short and intellectual.
So... He just seemed
intimidated by me, so I left him alone.
You know what I mean?
I'm gonna help you out here.
Watch out for snakes, Wally.
This will impress Tammy.
Wow!
Hm?
Great shot, Wally!
So?
What do you think of him?
He's...
interesting.
Not what you're used to.
No.
-No.
-Yeah, I think so.
-Good! Yes.
-Yes, that's good. Okay.
-I think so.
-This is a good thing. Right.
-Yes, yes.
It's okay, Wally.
You're getting the hang of it.
Relax those wrists, pal.
Grip's too tight.
You've got this. Come on.
Wally, listen to me.
You've got to stop thinking.
Just open the top of your head,
and let all thoughts float out.
It's the secret of golf.
Good god, babe. You've created a monster.
Huh?
Whoo-hoo!
So, how many more would Tiger need
to catch up with Nicklaus?
Well, um, four to tie,
but five to pass him.
It's such a shame, isn't it?
'Cause I just don't think
he's got it in him anymore.
Oh, I think he does.
He just needs to clear his mind.
When you do that, anything is possible.
Okay.
Oh.
-Fellas, come over here.
-Nice.
-Hey.
-There's someone I want you to meet.
-Jeanine, Tammy.
Hi.
I wanna introduce you to somebody.
This is Wally Spivak.
He's a good friend of ours.
Wally, this is Bill Hundleson.
He's an esteemed member of our club.
And this is Kyle Newcombe,
a fellow pro here.
And he and I shared a cup of coffee
on the tour a few years back.
Bill Hundleson.
Kyle Newcombe.
Wally Spivak. Nice to meet you, fellas.
Nice to meet you, Wally. Welcome.
-Mm-hm.
Chuck's a good guy...
sometimes.
Watch out for him, Wally.
Oh...
-Huh.
-Oh.
Okay. Wally here, he's a writer.
He just played
his first round of golf ever.
I'd imagine, uh, it's a pretty tough game
for a writer.
No. He hit a 250-yard tee shot
off the ninth.
I also hit an owl.
Next time, try for a birdie.
-Yeah.
Yes.
Jeez.
What's in these things?
The Double Eagle has quite a lot
of vodka in it, Wally.
I don't think I can drive.
I'll drive you home.
Ladies and gentlemen, your Laker Girls.
I'm so jealous.
There's nothing to be jealous about.
I'm not dating her.
Give it some time, Wally.
Yeah, maybe you'll grow to like her.
-Hey, guys.
-Hi.
Hey, Chuck!
Hey, pal.
-Hi, Jeanine.
-Hi.
This is Jesse, you guys.
-Great to finally meet you.
-Hey.
Yeah, nice to meet you.
-It's a pleasure.
So, I hear congratulations are in order.
I heard you and Tammy are an item.
I'm so happy for you, Wally.
-She is a great girl.
-Great girl.
Yeah. We love her.
Your Laker Girls.
Yeah!
-In his face!
-That's what I'm talking about!
Whoo!
Wally, did you ever read
The Turn of the Screw?
Great book, wasn't it?
I mean, packed one hell of a punch.
You know, back when I was
in secondary school, they forced me to read all the classics.
You know, The Turn of the Screw,
Kafka's The Castle,
The Sound and the Fury,
A Hundred Years of Solitude,
remember that?
Well, Gabriel Garca Mrquez.
Wally.
I lost myself in those books.
For some reason,
I never read another novel again.
I just couldn't seem to do it on my own,
unless it was assigned.
It's been so frustrating.
So, yeah, I was wondering
where I might find one of your novels.
Jeanine and I were at Barnes and Noble
the other day,
and we were looking for you,
under "S," but...
nothing.
Chuck.
Chuck, I've never been published.
Oh, I'm... I'm sorry, I didn't...
I...
I'd still like to read one, though.
What are you guys talking about?
Oh, I was just asking Wally
if I could read one of his novels.
Oh, Wally. That would be awesome.
Yeah, Chuck and I
were in Barnes and Noble...
Uh, yeah. Um...
-Yes, definitely.
All right.
Thanks, Chuck.
Thanks, Chuck.
That was fun. Tell me if he'll go.
Hey, Wally. Our car's here.
Buddy, buddy...
I will check my e-mail in the morning.
I can't wait to read the book.
I can't wait. It's gonna be great.
-See you, guys.
Okay.
-It's really nice to see you again, Wally.
Thanks, Chuck.
Tammy.
What do you think about the four of us
getting away one of these weekends?
We could go wine tasting in Napa,
or we could go
to The Del Coronado in San Diego.
-We'd love to!
Fantastic!
Okay. Bye, you guys.
Bye.
Bye!
Uh, Tammy, I will call you
to cement the deets.
-Sounds great.
Okay.
So, guys, what are your plans tonight?
We're actually really tired.
-Starkesha, Chani!
Hey.
Hey, Tammy. What do you guys got up?
Well, I was hoping to hang
with these guys, but they are tired.
-Uh, we're good.
-We can hang.
What do you guys have in mind?
Um...
How about chilling at our place?
-Sure.
-Sure.
Yes, yes.
-Of course! The more the merrier.
This is so uncool.
So uncool.
For god's sakes, Wally.
A pretty, sweet,
I'd venture to say, hot girl likes you.
We're not gonna let you walk away
without giving it a shot.
And think about it,
your love life has been
one disaster after another.
A series of short-term relationships
Yeah.
-with intellectual women
-that always end in arguments, mistrust,
Preach, Kevin.
charges of hypocrisy, disappointment,
-and Lord knows what else.
Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
We're doing you a favor.
You're gonna have
so much material for your book.
Yeah, it will write itself.
Your book, Wally. Think of your book.
Let me out. Let me out right now.
You're being selfish, Wally.
Jesse and I finally have a chance
to get laid, too.
And this can't always be
about you, Wally.
Let me out!
What do we tell Tammy?
There was an emergency at the library?
He's such a pain in the ass.
Oh, shit. It's Mark Stein.
No, Jesse.
-Hey, Mark.
Hey, Jesse.
-Hang up.
Nothing.
-Nice.
You?
We're just on our way to go hang out
with some Laker Girls right now.
Starkesha, Chani, Adriana,
any of you care to dance?
-It's okay.
-We're okay.
Yeah.
Tammy?
Maybe we should go to the library now.
Relax, Tammy.
Wally's fine. Trust me.
This is James Peavy for The Paris Review.
A Street Urchin Finds a Voice.
In his excruciatingly beautiful memoir,
MacArthur Parked,
Robert "Robby" LeBeau has burst
onto the American literary landscape
with his personal tale
of a once-promising young man
living and sleeping
in a drug-addicted haze
on the streets of the Eastside
of Los Angeles.
I sat with Mr. LeBeau in the living room
of his spacious loft
in the Arts District of Downtown...
Another?
You got a problem?
Look into my eyes.
I've lived a little.
Yeah, she looks nice.
That's my girlfriend.
Keep dreaming, son.
My god.
MacArthur Park.
Do you have the time?
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Nice night, yeah?
You come here often?
You're new here, aren't you?
Are you in Robby's book?
I knew a young man named Robert.
I don't feel well.
Hey, come.
You're gonna be fine.
Let's sit you down, all right?
That's it.
My name is Alan.
What's yours?
-Morning, sleepyhead.
-What the fuck!
Tammy? What...
What are you doing here?
You were so drunk last night,
you don't remember, do you?
Well, you took a little detour
on the way home.
Apparently, there was some kind
of flooding at the library.
When you got home,
you were completely wasted.
Wally, we had the most amazing sex.
You really took charge.
-Uh-huh.
-Wow.
Mm.
I don't even get to remember.
Tammy,
-I had the weirdest dream last night.
Rex!
Shut up!
Rex, please! This one time, shut up.
I have a hangover.
Wally, that's a little harsh.
I think you need to shower up,
down a cup of coffee,
turn that frown upside down,
Chuck and Jeanine are on their way.
What?
They are taking us to Catalina.
-Uh-huh.
Oh, no, no, no. Call them and cancel.
It's too late.
They're already on their way.
Oh, Wally! Don't forget.
You have to write a thank you note
to that nice old man
who drove you home last night.
-It's the polite thing to do.
He said he really enjoyed your company.
Got it out of your system now, champ?
Hey?
You gonna have another crack
of that crab Benedict?
No?
You mind if I have a stab at it?
It's all yours.
Thank you.
It was a close second for me
behind the huevos rancheros.
So, uh, enjoying the island?
Oh, you will now, eh, Wally.
We just gotta get some coffee into you.
I can't believe we're going home. We didn't see the botanical gardens,
we didn't ride the zip line.
And what about that glass
I was so looking forward
to seeing those fucking fish.
Tammy, Wally is not in the mood.
Nothing you could do about it.
I don't know, Jeanine.
He's becoming a real drag.
I'm having second thoughts.
Oh, don't blame him, Tammy.
This whole thing...
It's all my fault.
He's not even wearing his fucking shirt.
Final boarding call
for the Catalina Express
bound for the port of Long Beach.
This is the final boarding call.
Wally!
It's leaving!
You're up.
I'm just gonna grab this.
Wally!
Wally.
I brought your shirt.
I thought it might cheer you up.
Come on, raise your arms.
Please.
There we go.
Look at this.
So handsome.
A "cheeseburger in paradise."
So tell me, Wally...
what's going on?
I have nothing to offer.
All I've ever done
is sit in my room and...
There's this guy called Robby LeBeau.
I always thought he was full of shit.
A real blowhard.
But last night, I found out
that everything he ever lied about
is true.
He's probably a genius.
Can I ask you something, Jeanine?
Of course.
Why did you sleep with me in Las Vegas?
Um... Well, we explained to you,
Chuck and I had an agreement
-that it meant, you know...
-No, no.
Why did you choose me?
Honestly...
I wasn't gonna do anything with anyone.
I was just gonna lie
and let Chuck have what he wanted.
I only went into that club
because I needed to have a story to tell.
I was just gonna make up everything.
And then I saw you, and...
You felt sorry for me.
I felt sorry for both of us.
We had no idea what we were doing.
I guess that's why we were
so comfortable with each other.
That was wrong.
That was wrong!
I'm sorry, Jeanine.
-I shouldn't have done that.
-No, no.
This is my fault.
All of this. This is all my fault.
Well, I don't know about the girls,
but I had a lovely time.
I mean, Catalina can't be for everyone,
right, sweetheart?
Yes, yes. Totally.
Easy, boy. Easy.
Who doesn't like Catalina?
Hey, Wally.
Brush it off.
And don't forget, send me your book.
Do you think we should do something?
Probably.
Wally.
No, no.
You don't wanna do that, Wally.
Come on, Wally, stop.
Stop, stop. No, not the printer, Wally.
Wally!
Wally, stop.
Wally! Oh!
Lately, I've been thinking
About what's right or wrong
I've been thinking
About what is to misbehave
And why do I choose wrong
Lately, I've been wanting
To move through life as I please
I've been wanting to not worry
About a thing
Would I still think I'm wrong
Oh, right.
Right. Look, it's the librarian.
Jump, jump, jump.
Jump, jump, jump.
Jump, jump, jump!
All right.
Gentrifier.
Tourist! Your vacation is over, man.
Go home.
Go back to the Westside, man.
E-mail.
E-mail.
E-mail.
"Haven't heard from you for a while.
Hope you're okay.
Love, Mom and Dad."
"Still waiting for the book.
Best, Chuck."
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck you, Chuck.
Fuck you.
Fuck me.
No, no, no.
Please unsend. Unsend.
Your file has been successfully sent.
Fuck.
You too, Rex.
You too.
Hello?
Morning, Wally.
Chuck?
Yes, Wally, it's me.
I called Jesse and got your number.
Chuck, I didn't mean anything by it.
What are you talking about, Wally?
I'm not sure. I just woke up.
I know it's early. I just...
Just... I couldn't wait to tell you.
I stayed up all night reading your book,
and I just finished it.
You finished?
I really need to talk to you about this.
And the water will come down
And wash you down
And let you see
What you would be
If you didn't know
What's right or wrong
Or what is fun
Woke up early, feel that itch
What am I doing now in this niche?
Do I belong?
Who is it that I am?
What is it that I'm for?
Who's that in my skin?
Wally.
This place is amazing.
Listen, um...
I haven't read much,
so I don't know if this would mean
anything to you, but, uh...
I loved your book.
What are you saying, Chuck?
I'm saying, Wally, that I loved your book.
And while I was driving over here,
I had all these questions
I wanted to ask you, all these things,
but then, I realized that maybe,
maybe the questions aren't even meant
to be answered, you know?
Maybe, maybe they're just meant to linger.
I'm just... Correct me
if I'm wrong, Wally.
I'm just trying to understand.
You're serious, aren't you?
I have never been more serious in my life.
Chuck, this is crazy.
You're not wrong.
You got it exactly right.
Everyone wants answers
when there are none.
You don't know how long I worked on it,
how many people
who I thought would understand...
didn't.
Chuck.
You're the only person who has ever gotten
through to the end of the book.
Wally, it's so weird, right?
'Cause when I was reading it,
I just kept thinking
about that dude who cut his ear off.
You know, he did all those paintings,
and then no one bought them,
and he killed himself.
-Van Gogh! Oh, Wally.
You remind me of Van Gogh.
You have to stick this out, man.
You are going to be published.
Thank you, Chuck.
Hey, Wally.
Sasha, we are a little busy.
No, it's okay.
Uh, join us. I'm Chuck.
Hi, Chuck. I'm Sasha.
So, uh, how do you two...
Oh, Wally dates my fiance's best friend.
You... You do, Wally?
Oh.
Wally never told me that.
Are you a writer?
Well, of sorts.
I'm studying cultural anthropology.
I'm waiting on my grant to come through
to study in China.
She's been waiting a long time.
Well, not nearly as long
as Wally's been working on his book,
which I see you've downloaded, huh?
"Sunset Junction."
It's quite a grind, isn't it?
Hey, guys.
-Yeah, I sure am.
What reading?
Robby LeBeau's.
Who?
Hello, hello, everyone, and welcome.
This afternoon, I would like to introduce
a real forward thinker,
someone who has put the ethos
of Eastside Los Angeles on the map.
Ladies and gentlemen, please,
a warm welcome for Mr. Robby LeBeau.
We love you, Robby.
Now, this guy is the real deal.
Thanks for coming.
"Ursula stood at the corner
of Sunset and Alvarado.
I knew her life was at the crossroads,
but I didn't think to take her literally.
Fountain and Virgil, Figueroa and Temple,
Santa Fe and Seventh,
Stadium Way and Chavez Ravine.
Dodgers win.
The roar was loud,
the haze was thick with gutted cars,
driveshafts, and gasoline."
Robby.
This is Chuck Westrum.
He loved the reading.
-I appreciate it, man.
Mr. LeBeau, hi.
I've never been to a reading before,
but I think I can safely say
that I will never be the same again.
Right.
Thank you.
Hi, Wally.
-Jesse.
What's up?
-I need to borrow your car.
I'm quitting writing.
I'm getting out of this town.
I need to tell someone goodbye.
I just finished Robby's book.
It really wasn't that good.
By the end, it pretty much sucked.
Jesse tells me you're leaving.
Please don't go, Wally!
Do something, Rex!
Just open the top of your head,
and let all thoughts float out.
Finish getting dressed, Wally.
We are gonna be late.
Okay, okay.
Kevin.
I'm almost done.
Hi, Rex.
I just wanted to say that I'm sorry.
You wanted to be my friend,
but I wouldn't let you.
I'm gonna make it up to you. I promise.
I'm hoping one of you is Wally Spivak.
-I'm Wally Spivak.
Thank God.
I'm Hugh, Chuck's brother.
Hurry, hurry, hurry.
I'm afraid he's going a little mad.
Oh, finally.
Come in. Not you. You stay out there.
Come on. Just...
What's going on, Chuck?
I, uh...
I don't think
I can go through with it, Wally.
What?
I know, I know.
The timing, the timing is just...
terrible, but, uh...
I don't know what to do. I'm...
panicking, Wally, I'm panicking.
It's just wedding jitters.
It's more than that.
I don't...
I don't want my children growing up
the way Jeanine and I did.
I don't want my son walking around
with nothing in his head.
I don't want my daughter
playing beach volleyball.
You should understand that.
Huh?
I want worldly children, Wally.
And, uh...
I can't give that to them.
And bless her, but Jeanine can't either.
Chuck, you've lost your mind.
I want to have
intellectual conversations, Wally.
I wanna have intellectual conversations
at the dinner table.
I wanna have them in the car. I want...
I want them in bed.
-Chuck, you're a golf pro.
-Don't patronize me.
I'm in love with Sasha Perez.
It's true.
Charles, please.
Go away.
No. I've come all this way
to be here for you!
Go away, Hugh!
And what do you expect me
to tell Mother and Father?
I don't care! Just go away!
I'm a horrible person, Wally.
I broke the agreement.
I slept with somebody else
after Valentine's.
You're talking about Sasha, my friend,
from the coffee house
who I introduced you to?
She takes my breath away.
Wally, she's...
the most intelligent woman I've ever met.
I mean, by far.
She's stupid, Chuck.
Don't get ugly now, Wally.
I know you've got a soft spot for her.
-Uh, no, I haven't.
Yes, you do.
You've been trying to date her for years.
She told me. It's fine.
How long has this been going on?
Every day...
since you introduced us
at the coffee house.
Every day?
Oh, Chuck.
I was hoping you could convince me
to stay, but...
Wally,
I can't be mad at you.
Without you, I'd never have found myself.
What happened, Wally?
Chuck's leaving.
He doesn't wanna marry Jeanine!
Why?
He's in love with Sasha Perez!
But she's unlovable.
Chuck! Please, don't do this!
You're making a big mistake.
-Jeanine is such a beautiful girl.
I know, Wally.
It's gonna be so hard for her
to hear the news.
But you're a writer,
so you will think of something.
Wally.
He left.
It's not your fault, Wally.
His fiance slept with you in Vegas.
All you've done
is try and push the Westside away.
But it just kept coming.
But I think we should leave.
Yeah, I don't think it's gonna be
any fun now.
He left, didn't he?
You look great, Tammy.
Who the fuck is Sasha Perez?
She's a friend of mine.
Figures.
I rue the day Jeanine ever got
involved with you.
It has been a nightmare!
Hey! It's not Wally's fault.
If it weren't for Wally,
there would be a wedding going on inside.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Oh, my god. She's coming.
Sasha Perez is Wally's friend.
Some kind of a wicked witch
from the Eastside, no doubt.
She probably made a voodoo doll of you
and stuck pins in it.
I'm so sorry, Jeanine.
It's okay, Wally. I was stupid.
The truth was staring right at me.
Chuck, he wouldn't stop reading
even in bed.
Oh, man.
My god.
And suddenly, everything was wrong
with the world.
Poverty, racism, gentrification.
What an asshole!
Honey, why didn't you tell me any of this?
It's so weird, Mom,
none of it bothered me.
I had other things on my mind.
All I could think about...
was him.
Him
Wally Spivak, I have been in love with you
since the night we met.
What is she talking about?
Honestly, I don't know.
Really?
Me too.
Are you kidding me?
Jeanine, you're not in your right mind.
Who is he?
He's a failed writer
from a really bad neighborhood.
I'll marry you, Jeanine.
What?
We wouldn't even have to get a new cake.
We could just, you know...
We could just walk in there and do it.
Really?
You freed me, Jeanine.
You opened up my head and every thought
that's ever held me back just floated out.
I feel like I can see clearly
for the first time.
Oh, my god. Will you marry me?
-No!
-No! -Yes!
-Yes!
Of course, I'll marry you, Wally.
No.
You guys.
-I love you, guys.
Yeah.
Pretty fickle, Tammy.
She's my best friend.
Hey, Tammy, you think we could hang out
with those Laker Girls?
You know, give it another shot?
Over my dead body.
For centuries,
in the most primitive way, of course,
I mean, culture has always allowed people
to adapt to their environment
in the most non-genetic way,
which I think is fantastic.
And I would like to dig deeper, you know,
kind of figure out what that's all about.
Right? I mean, custom, belief, law, sex.
I mean, the list goes on, really.
Conversely, culture can be bought.
It can be taught,
it can be reappropriated.
Uh, I just...
Authentically, I wanna get to the root
of why we're all here.
Uh... Uh, hi.
Sorry, I don't... I don't play.
It's okay.
I usually play by myself.
Oh, you speak English.
Yes.
You're American, right?
More and more so, it seems these days.
I'm, uh, originally
from a little seaside town
in England called Brighton.
I live mostly in Los Angeles now,
Boyle Heights via Cheviot Hills.
It's near the Dodger Stadium.
Oh.
How's the book?
It's terrific.
It's really wonderful writing.
By a friend of mine.
Great guy, actually.
He married my fiance.
Do you wanna read it? I'm done.
Yes. I'd love to. Thank you.
"Spivak."
I actually play
a pretty big part in it.
Huh.
So...
wanna hang out sometime?