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Star 80 (1983)
[TAPE PLAYER CLICKS ON]
Dorothy: WHEN THE EDITOR OF PLAYBOY TOLD ME I'D WON "PLAYMATE OF THE YEAR," THE FIRST THING OUT OF MY MOUTH WAS, "ARE YOU SURE?" [TAPE PLAYER FAST-FORWARDED] Interviewer: DID YOUR BROTHER MIND YOU BEING IN THE MAGAZINE? I THINK, UH, MY BROTHER WAS A LITTLE SHY BECAUSE HE HAS FRIENDS WHO ARE 18 YEARS OLD, 17 YEARS OLD, WHO SAID, YOU KNOW,"HEY, YOUR SISTER'S IN PLAYBOY." BUT HIS FRIENDS... WELL, I REMEMBER WHEN I CAME HOME TO VISIT THE FAMILY AND THEY CAME OVER AND THEY SAID, "I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT. WE SAW YOU IN PLAYBOY," AND THEY SAID, "HOW'D YOU GET IN?" AND, "IT'S SO WONDERFUL." AND THEN HE STARTED THINKING THAT, YOU KNOW, THAT... THAT IS PRETTY NEAT. YOU KNOW, MY SISTER... [TAPE PLAYER FAST-FORWARDED] PLAYBOY'S MOTTO IS "THE GIRL NEXT DOOR." THEY LOOK FOR GIRLS THAT ARE WHOLESOME AND FRESH AND YOUNG AND NAIVE, THEY LOOK FOR ALL OF THAT. SO MOST OF THOSE GIRLS DO, UH, HAVE THA TYPE OF BACKGROUND. [TAPE PLAYER FAST-FORWARDED] IT TOOK ME 5 MONTHS TO SHOO MY PLAYMATE-OF-THE-YEAR LAYOUT. I SHOT OVER 20,000 PICTURES. IT'S PERFECTION. THEY DON'T GO FOR JUST, UH, GREAT NUDE SHOTS. THEY GO FOR ART. PERFECT ART. AND I'M PROUD OF THAT. AND, UM, UM, I'M HAPPY TO SHARE THA WITH SOMEBODY WHO CAN APPRECIATE IT. [TAPE PLAYER FAST-FORWARDED] Interviewer: WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE JUST LIKE YOUR SISTER WHEN YOU GROW UP? Sister: YEAH. Interviewer: WHY? Sister: BECAUSE I'M PROUD OF HER. [TAPE PLAYER STOPS] [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS] [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS] [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS] [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS, CLICKS, CLICKS] [CLICK, CLICK, CLICK, CLICK] HI. HOW ARE YOU? HELLO. PAUL SNIDER. YEAH, I'M PAUL SNIDER. HOW ARE YOU DOING? SNIDER. PAUL. HELLO. HA, HA, YEAH. PAUL SNIDER. AH, FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU ALL, BASTARDS. HE SEEMED A LITTLE PISSED OFF AT SOMETHING. WHAT, I DON'T KNOW. BUT NOT A BAD GUY. HE'S A GOOD TIPPER. Interviewer: HOW'D HE MAKE HIS MONEY? ALL SORTS OF WAYS. HE DID SOMETHING FOR ME HERE AT THE CLUB, A COCKAMAMIE IDEA. HE WAS ALWAYS PROMOTING SOME COCKAMAMIE IDEA. WHAT KIND OF IDEA WAS THIS? A WET T-SHIRT CONTES USING ALL-LOCAL TALENT. ALL RIGHT, MILLY. OH, MILLY! THERE SHE GOES. ALL RIGHT, MILLY! COME ON OUT. REALLY SHOW THEM WHAT YOU'VE GOT! MILLY IS VANCOUVER'S OWN DOLLY PARTON. THANK YOU, SWEETHEART. AND HERE COMES NUMBER FOUR. IT'S LOVELY PAT. ALL RIGHT. JUST STEP RIGHT UP ON THE RUNWAY. THERE SHE GOES. WATCH HER GO. WHOA! WE'RE ALL GETTING WET. LOOK AT THAT HEAD GO. LOOK AT THAT HEAD GO! THERE SHE IS. WHOA, BABY. ALL RIGHT. WHOA! NOT MUCH DIFFERENCE, IS THERE, GUYS, HUH? GOOD SPORT. COME ON, GIVE HER A NICE ROUND OF APPLAUSE. ALL RIGHT, HERE COMES JERI. ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET ANOTHER ONE IN. COME ON, THERE, GET IN THERE. WE'VE GOT 2, 2 JUST LIKE THAT. NOW GIVE ME 3. COME ON, MILLY, GET IN THERE. 3 FOR THE PRICE OF ONE. PAUL CLEARED ALMOST $900 FOR HIMSELF. PRETTY GOOD, I THOUGHT. YOU SHOULD HAVE RAISED YOUR MINIMUM. YOU SHOULD HAVE ADVERTISED. YOU BLEW IT, MAN. YOU BLEW IT BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO CHEAP. TOMORROW, MAC. HE WASN'T ALWAYS EASY TO TAKE. Interviewer: HOW ELSE DID HE MAKE HIS MONEY? OH, JESUS. HE'D TRY ANYTHING. HE PIMPED... DID YOU SAY PIMPED? DID I SAY THAT? DID I SAY PIMPED? YEAH, I GUESS I DID. WITH A COUPLE OF GIRLS, AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT I HEARD. OH, YEAH, HE HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH THOSE BIG AUTO SHOWS. HE SUPPLIED THEM WITH HOSTESSES, MODELS, SOMETHING. HAD THE HOTS FOR CARS, CARS AND GIRLS, GIRLS AND CARS! YET ONE THING ABOU THAT LITTLE COCKER, HE COULD REMEMBER EVERYBODY'S NAME IF HE JUST MET 'EM OR MET 'EM 5 YEARS AGO. HE ALWAYS REMEMBERED THE NAME. NOW, I ADMIRE THAT. IT'S A REAL GIFT. A REAL GIFT. Paul: THEY SEEM LIKE REALLY NICE GUYS. AL IS FROM RACINE. FORD. AND HARRY AND BOB ARE FROM SEATTLE. OLDSMOBILE. I FEEL FUNNY. IT'S JUST DINNER AND SOME LAUGHS. THAT'S IT? I'LL TALK TO THEM AGAIN. THEY'RE REALLY NICE GUYS. THEY'LL TELL ME STRAIGHT. IF THEY EXPECT MORE... SOME GUYS WOULD... IF THEY EXPECT MORE, THEN IT'S OFF, OK? IT'S OFF. I AM NOT FUCKING FOR MONEY, PAUL. SHE'S NOT, BUT I AM. HA HA HA HA! LOOK, LET ME TALK TO THEM AGAIN TO GET I STRAIGHTENED OUT. Man: HE'S A CHEAP HUSTLER. HE EVEN LOOKS PIMPISH. WHY SHE WANTS TO MARRY HIM? SOME KIND OF LOYALTY, I GUESS. GET SOME OF OUR PEOPLE TO CALL VANCOUVER, CHECK HIM OUT, SEE IF THERE'S ANYTHING. LAST NAME SNIDER, S-N-I-D-E-R. FIRST GIVEN, PAUL, SECOND GIVEN, LESLIE. YEAH, I KNOW HIM. SMALL-TIMER. KIND OF A JOKE, REALLY. ALWAYS TRYING SOMETHING. ALWAYS IN TROUBLE. THE LOAN SHARKS, MOSTLY. JEEZ, THIS ISN'T FUNNY, MAN! I... I... I'M GETTING S-SICK. LET ME UP. I'M GETTING SICK. LOOK AT MY SUIT. THAT'S A $400 SUIT. THAT WASN'T FUNNY, MAN. I MEAN, LET'S BE CIVILIZED, HUH, MAN? OH, SHIT! THAT WAS DANGEROUS, VERY DANGEROUS. AND HUMILIATING. PLEASE, SNIDER! DO YOURSELF A FAVOR. DON'T SAY ANY MORE, PLEASE. 7 POINTS IS TOO MUCH, MAN. YOU SHOULDN' HUMILIATE ME, CHARLIE. HERE WE GO AGAIN. CHARLIE. COME ON, CHARLIE. PLEASE, CHARLIE. PLEASE, CHARLIE. CHARLIE, YOU BASTARD! YOU SMART BASTARDS, EVERYBODY KISSING YOUR ASS. EVERYBODY DOWN ON THEIR FUCKING KNEES! WELL... NOT ME. I DON' KISS ASS FOR NOBODY. YOU'RE NOT GONNA FORGET ME. YOU ROTTEN FUCKERS, YOU TRIED TO KILL ME. [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS] I FOUND HER, YOU DIDN'T. [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS] I FOUND HER. I WAS WORKING IN THIS DAIRY QUEEN PART-TIME WHILE I WEN TO HIGH SCHOOL, AND ONE DAY THIS GENTLEMAN WALKED IN WITH THIS GORGEOUS BLONDE. SHE HAD A FUR COAT ON. THEY BOTH HAD FUR COATS ON. AND I HAD THIS PONYTAIL AND THIS LITTLE SMOCK ON. AND I SAID, "CAN I HELP YOU?" AND HE SAID, "WELL, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?" HA. WELL, WHAT'S YOUR NAME? DOROTHY. CAN I HELP YOU? YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL. ME? MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER NOW? I'LL HAVE SOMETHING SWEET, SOFT, AND WHITE. YOU. WILL YOU PLEASE TAKE THEIR ORDER? JESUS, PAUL! SHE'S REALLY BEAUTIFUL. SHE'S A BABY. GET THEM WHILE THEY'RE YOUNG, RIGHT? I'LL HAVE A BANANA SPLIT... GOD, I DIDN'T GO OU WITH BOYS VERY MUCH. I WAS VERY STRAIGHT. UH, I COULDN'T TALK TO PEOPLE EASILY. [ROD STEWART'S DO YA THINK I'M SEXY? PLAYS] SO, WHEN DO YOU GET OUT OF SCHOOL? JUNE, I HOPE. DO YOU LIKE THE CAR? WELL, ONE DAY YOU'LL HAVE A BETTER ONE. A MERCEDES, MAYBE. THEY'RE HOT. ? IF YOU WANT MY BODY AND YOU THINK I'M SEXY ? I'M GONNA GET I FOR YOU. ? COME ON, SUGAR, LET ME KNOW ? ? IF YOU REALLY NEED ME ? ? JUST REACH OU AND TOUCH ME ? ? COME ON, HONEY, TELL ME SO ? ? TELL ME SO, BABE ? EXCUSE ME, SIR. THE MANAGEMENT HAS ASKED ME TO SPEAK TO YOU. YOUR FLY IS OPEN, AND THE WHOLE RESTAURAN CAN SEE YOUR DONG. SOMEONE WAITING ON ME. THAT'S NEW. IT'S VERY NICE HERE. IF YOU LIKE ITALIAN FOOD, I KNOW A REAL KNOCKOUT PLACE. I'LL TAKE YOU TOMORROW NIGHT. I LIKE PIZZA. WELL, THIS IS NORTHERN ITALIAN, 3 STARS. I KNOW THE MAITRE D'. OH. IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME? I PROBABLY HAVE A PIECE OF LETTUCE ON MY NOSE OR SOMETHING. NO, NO, NO, NO. IT'S JUST THE LIGHT. THE WAY THE LIGH CATCHES YOUR EYES. OH. YOU'RE AN EXPERT, AREN'T YOU? EXPERT AT WHAT? OH. I FOUND THIS IN THE COLESLAW AT THE SALAD BAR. IT'S GOT YOUR NAME IS ON IT. IT'S NOT THE MERCEDES. IS THIS A JOKE? IT'S A REAL TOPAZ, 2 CARATS. IT'S BEAUTIFUL. WELL, HERE'S THIS TEENAGER IN A TOWN IN CANADA WORKING IN A TASTY FREEZE OR A DAIRY QUEEN, ET CETERA, WHATEVER, AND THIS, UH... STREET-WISE GUY... YEAH, I SUPPOSE INITIALLY, HE WOULD HAVE SOME FLASHY APPEAL FOR HER, YEAH. ? HERE COMES THE SUN ? ? LA DA DEE DEE ? ? HERE COMES THE SUN ? [PLAYS GUITAR OFF-KEY] I ALWAYS SCREW THAT UP. ? SUN AND I SAY ? ? IT'S ALL RIGHT ? ? IT'S ALL RIGHT ? ? IT'S ALL RIGHT ? WELL, THAT'S ENOUGH OF THAT. I DON'T THINK I'M ANY THREA TO PAUL McCARTNEY, DO YOU? THIS IS PRETTY. I MADE IT, TRIED TO SELL THEM. MUST HAVE BEEN HARD TO DO. [ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS] SOMETHING LIKE THIS MUS BE REALLY HARD TO DO. IT'S SO PRETTY. I'M A LITTLE HIGH. YOUR HAND IS SHAKING. OH, AND BIG. I HAVE THE BIGGEST HANDS. I NEVER WANTED TO HOLD HANDS WITH ANY BOYS, 'CAUSE MY HANDS WERE ALWAYS BIGGER THAN HIS. I DON'T THINK I'M ANY GOOD, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? I HAVE A FEELING I'M NO GOOD. I'M THE FIRST? WELL, THERE WAS THIS FOOTBALL PLAYER. WHAT ELSE? OH, IT WAS PLAIN AWFUL. HE WAS SO ROUGH, AND IT WAS ALL OVER SO FAST. WHAM-BAM-THANK-YOU- MA'AM, TYPE. HA. I'M NOT REALLY SURE IT HAPPENED AT ALL, BUT I... I GUESS IT DID, 'CAUSE HE TOLD EVERYBODY AT SCHOOL I WAS A LOUSY... [ROD STEWART'S DO YA THINK I'M SEXY? PLAYS] HI. HOW ARE YOU? HELLO. HELLO. THAT'S IT, YEAH. ALL RIGHT. HELLO. HA HA. OH, MY, DON'T WE... HA HA... LOOK SHARP? COME IN. SHE'S NO READY YET. POUR VOUS. OH, THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL. I BETTER PUT THEM IN WATER RIGHT AWAY. SHE AND EILEEN HAVE BEEN UPSTAIRS GETTING READY SINCE THIS MORNING. YOU'D THINK IT WAS A CORONATION INSTEAD OF A HIGH SCHOOL PROM. HIYA, GEORGE. GOIN' BOWLIN'? OH, LORD, HE LOOKS LIKE A TANGO DANCER. HE'S A FRIEND OF MINE. WHO? TELLY SAVALAS. KOJAK. BULLSHIT. IS THIS TOO MUCH LIPSTICK? HE SAID NO TO USE TOO MUCH. DOES IT LOOK ALL RIGHT? IS THIS TOO MUCH EYE SHADOW? DOES IT LOOK ALL RIGHT? I THOUGH I HAD A VASE BUT... GET YOUR FEET OFF. YES, MA'AM. THAT WAS A PRETTY EXPENSIVE DRESS YOU BOUGHT DOROTHY. OH, IT SEEMED RIGHT FOR HER. SHE'S ALMOST READY. YOU SHOULD SEE HER. SMELL, MOM. OOH. SMELL ME, GEORGE. GET OU OF HERE. COME ON. AW. SMELL IT, PAUL. REAL DEEP. MMM! THAT'S WHA SHE SMELLS LIKE. IT'S CALLED TOILET WATER. WAIT! HOLD ON A SECOND. THE ORCHID IS FOR DOROTHY, AND THE GARDENIA'S FOR YOU. THANK YOU. HE'S HERE! WE BOTH GOT A PRESENT! THEY LIKE THE WAY YOU SMELL. THAT EILEEN IS A KNOCKOUT. ALL THE LADIES IN THIS HOUSE ARE KNOCKOUTS. BULLSHIT AGAIN. GEORGE. Eileen: ARE YOU READY? HERE WE GO. Dorothy: YES. HERE SHE COMES, EVERYBODY. SHE LOOKS LIKE A MOVIE STAR! [PLAYS KAZOO] AHH! DOESN'T SHE LOOK BEAUTIFUL? TERRIFIC. YOU LOOK LOVELY. CAN WE TAKE A PICTURE, MOM? I HAVE A CAMERA IN THE CAR. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. CAN I TAKE THE PICTURE, PAUL? SURE. ? DON'T GO CHANGIN' ? ? TO TRY AND PLEASE ME ? ? YOU NEVER LET ME DOWN BEFORE ? ? MM-MM ? ? DON'T IMAGINE ? ? YOU'RE TOO FAMILIAR ? ? AND I DON' SEE YOU ANYMORE ? ? I WOULD NOT LEAVE YOU ? ? IN TIMES OF TROUBLE ? ? WE NEVER COULD HAVE COME THIS FAR ? ? MM-MM ? ? I TOOK THE GOOD TIMES ? ? I'LL TAKE THE BAD TIMES... ? HI, DOROTHY. HOW ARE YOU? OH, HI. THAT'S HIM. WHO? THE BIGMOUTH. THE FOOTBALL PLAYER. YEAH, THAT'S HIM, ALL RIGHT. A JOCK. HOW'D YOU KNOW? JUST BY THE SMART-ASS WAY HE SAID YOUR NAME. DOES HE THINK I'M STUPID NOT TO PICK UP ON THAT? OH, NOW, DON'T STAR ANY TROUBLE, PLEASE? HA HA. IT WON'T BE ANY TROUBLE. ? ...ALTHOUGH I MIGHT NO SEEM TO CARE ? ? I DON'T WANT CLEVER ? ? CONVERSATION ? JESUS CHRIST! WHO DID THAT? EXCUSE US. VERY FUNNY. BIG JOKE, EH? YOU HURT HIM, PAUL, DIDN'T YOU? HA. NOT ENOUGH, THE PRICK. ? I WANT YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE ? I'M VERY ROMANTIC, AND I LIKE LITTLE SURPRISES AND, YOU KNOW, LITTLE GESTURES LIKE FLOWERS OR A CALL WHEN YOU DON'T EXPECT IT, AND, YOU KNOW, THINGS LIKE THAT. NOT... NOT SEXUAL THINGS. Interviewer: WELL, WOULD IT SURPRISE YOU IF I ASKED YOU TO TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES RIGHT NOW? WOULD YOU DO IT? NO. WELL, WHY NOT? THAT'S... THAT'S NOT ROMANTIC. THAT'S... Dorothy: IT TOOK ME FIVE 5 TO SHOOT MY PLAYMATE LAYOUT. I SHOT OVER 20,000 PICTURES. Paul: SIT UP, PUT YOUR KNEES TOGETHER AND HUG 'EM. Dorothy: LIKE THIS? LIKE THAT. THAT'S NICE. HOW ABOUT OPENING THE SHIRT A LITTLE? I CAN'T. OH, YES, YOU CAN. IT'S FUN. OK. OK. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? PAUL. WET YOUR LIPS AND OPEN YOUR MOUTH. WHAT? YOU KNOW, LIKE YOU DID LAST NIGHT. PAUL. I CAN DO THAT. DOROTHY? Radio DJ: DOROTHY STRATTEN, PLAYBOY CENTERFOLD. YOU'RE ON STREET TALK. HI, MISS STRATTEN, MY NAME IS GEORGE. HI, GEORGE. LISTEN, WE WERE SITTING AROUND THE GARAGE, AND WE HAD THIS QUESTION... UH, WHAT'S IT LIKE TO POSE, UH, NUDE? I MEAN, HOW'S IT FEEL? IT FEELS A LITTLE CHILLY SOMETIMES. SCORE ONE FOR DOROTHY. WE'RE TALKING WITH DOROTHY STRATTEN. OH, GOD, I LOOK FA IN THAT ONE. OH, JEEZ. I HOPE MY MOTHER NEVER SEES THESE. OH, GOD, MY MOTHER. WHAT TIME IS IT? 4:30. HI, MOM? YES, I KNOW. I'M SORRY. GIVE ME A CHANCE TO EXPLAIN, MOM. IT GOT SO LATE, I THOUGH YOU'D BE SLEEPING. I DIDN' WANT TO WAKE YOU. I'M STAYING OVER AT NANCY'S HOUSE. NO, I'M NOT WITH HIM. Man: WELL, HE SHOWED ME SOME POLAROIDS, AND WANTED ME TO DO SOME TEST SHOTS. AND WE, UH, WE MADE A DEAL. IF SHE GOT ACCEPTED, I'D GET $1,000. OTHERWISE, NOTHING. THAT'S THE USUAL FINDER'S FEE THAT PLAYBOY PAYS... A THOUSAND. HE REALLY BELIEVED IN THIS GIRL, OR ELSE HE JUS WANTED TO SCREW HER. I'M STILL NOT SURE WHICH, MAYBE BOTH. ANYWAY, HE CONVINCED ME. OH, THERE YOU GO. OK, EYES TO ME. THROW YOUR HEAD BACK. THAT'S IT. SORRY. FORGET IT, DOROTHY. YOU LOOKED BETTER THE OTHER WAY. YOU'RE HOLDING THAT SCARF LIKE I WAS A SECURITY BLANKET. HERE, COME ON, JUST RELAX. YEAH. ARCH YOUR BACK. TUCK IN THE TUMMY. I THINK WERE GONNA LIKE THAT THAT MUCH BETTER. EXCUSE ME. SORRY. THAT'S IT. GOOD GIRL. THAT'S PERFECT. RIGHT THERE! LOOK OVER HERE, DOROTHY, AND OPEN YOUR MOUTH. WHAT STOP ARE YOU USING? COULD I TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE? LISTEN, DOROTHY, I'M GONNA WAIT IN THE DRESSING ROOM. TOO MANY DIRECTORS. OK. NOW MAYBE WE CAN GET SOME WORK DONE. THAT'S GOOD. ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, NOW THROW YOUR HEAD BACK A LITTLE BI AND GIVE ME A SMILE. OK, THAT'S GOOD. OK, NOW GIVE ME A LITTLE POUT. THAT A GIRL. THAT'S GOOD. OK, NOW, RELAX THE HANDS AGAIN. NOW, THINK ABOU AN ANIMAL. OK. YEAH, MAKE I A WILD ANIMAL. IT'S STARTING TO GET HOT IN HERE! THAT'S THE WAY. THAT'S THE WAY. ALL RIGHT. YES, ALL RIGHT. NOW, THE LITTLE GIRL IS STARTING TO LEARN HERE. LET'S GO. NICE. OH, THAT'S GOOD. NOW, HOLD THAT, THAT'S NICE. HA HA. YES, YES. LITTLE GIRL IS GROWING UP. ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. OH, THAT'S NICE. THAT'S NICE. HOLD THAT. HOLD THAT. OH, YES, YES, YES! YES, YES, YES, YES. Woman: SHE'S LIKE A BIG, SWEET KID. POLITE, TOO. NO SCARS. MAYBE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING WITH HER HAIR. NOT OVERWEIGHT. I LIKE HER A LOT. HOW OLD? 18, I THINK. Photographer: NOW, HERE'S WHA THE SON OF A BITCH DID. NOW, I WORKED MY ASS OFF. THEN HE TURNS AROUND AND HE GOES TO ANOTHER PHOTOGRAPHER, AND HE USES MY STUFF TO CONVINCE THE OTHER GUY THAT THE GIRL IS GOOD. THEN HE SENDS THE OTHER GUY'S TES INTO PLAYBOY AND SCREWS ME OU OF THE FINDER'S FEE... A 1,000 BUCKS. HA HA HA. I MEAN, THE GUY IS A BASTARD. THEY'LL FLY HER TO L.A. FIRST-CLASS, TAKE SOME MORE TEST SHOTS OF HER, AND THEN THEY'LL DECIDE IF THEY WANT TO USE HER IN THE MAGAZINE OR NOT. THAT'S REALLY ALL THERE IS TO IT. THAT'S ALL, HUH? BUT WE DO NEED YOUR CONSEN BECAUSE OF HER AGE. AND IF I DON'T SIGN? THEN WE BOTH JUMP OUT A WINDOW. NO, SERIOUSLY, IF YOU DON'T SIGN, THEN IT'S... ALL OFF. SHE WANTS TO GO. I'M SLOWLY BEGINNING TO GET THE IDEA THAT YOU WANT HER TO GO. THAT LEAVES ME, HER MOTHER. I KNOW THIS COULD BE A REAL OPPORTUNITY FOR US. IT COULD CHANGE OUR LIVES. WHAT IS THIS "US," "OUR"? I DON'T SEE ANY NAKED PICTURES OF YOU HERE, PAUL. I DON'T SEE ANY PICTURES OF YOU WITH YOUR PRIVATES HANGING OU FOR THE WHOLE WORLD TO LOOK AT. LET'S GET THE CAMERA. I'M WILLING. OH, I BET YOU ARE. OH, I DON'T KNOW. SHE WOULDN'T EVEN WALK AROUND THE HOUSE IN A NIGHTGOWN BEFORE SHE MET YOU. DO YOU KNOW WHO READS PLAYBOY? NO, TELL ME. MOVIE PRODUCERS, DIRECTORS, AGENTS, TV PEOPLE. THE PEOPLE WHO PRODUCE CHARLIE'S ANGELS READ PLAYBOY. I HAVE THIS FEELING ABOUT DOROTHY, THIS HUNCH THAT SHE'S GONNA BE A BIG STAR IN THE MOVIES OR ON TV, I DON'T KNOW, BUT A REALLY BIG STAR. BUT SHE'S GONNA NEED HELP. YOU CAN'T DO IT ALONE. YOU NEED SOMEBODY. AND YOU'RE GONNA BE THAT SOMEBODY? I KNOW ALL THE TRICKS, I KNOW ALL THE CON GAMES. HEY, I KNOW ALL THE BULLSHITTING. THERE'S PLENTY OF THAT, BELIEVE ME. TOGETHER, WE COULD BE SOMEBODY. PEOPLE WOULD KNOW WHO WE ARE. PEOPLE WOULD KNOW OUR NAMES. PEOPLE WOULD TREAT US THAT SPECIAL WAY, THE WAY THEY TREAT STARS. PEOPLE WOULD... HELL, WE'D WALK INTO A RESTAURANT, PEOPLE... I DO LOVE HER. WHAT DID YOU SAY? I SAID I LOVE HER. FUNNY. I COULD HAVE SWORN YOU SAID, "I LOVE IT." YOU DON'T LIKE ME, DO YOU? I LOVE DOROTHY. THE ANSWER'S NO. WHY? GIVE ME A REASON. I DON'T HAVE TO GIVE YOU A REASON. I'M HER MOTHER. THAT'S THE REASON. THAT'S THE REASON. [LOUDSPEAKER] YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE. WESTERN AIRLINES FLIGHT 468 NONSTOP FOR LOS ANGELES... I DON'T WANT TO GO. YOU'RE DYING TO GO. I WISH YOU WERE COMING WITH ME. EVERYBODY'S LOOKING AT US. DID YOU NOTICE? YEAH, A LITTLE. STRAIGHTEN UP, ANGEL. YOU'RE SLOUCHING. BETTER? MAKES YOU LOOK TALLER. MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A QUEEN. Mom: I NEVER SIGNED IT. SOMEHOW IT GOT SIGNED, YES. BUT I DIDN'T SIGN IT. I CAN ONLY GUESS HOW. I NEVER WOULD HAVE SIGNED IT. HAVE YOU MET HIM YET? Dorothy: WHO? THE MAN. THE MAN. HEFNER. OH, PAUL, HE'S WONDERFUL, LIKE A FATHER OR SOMETHING. OH, EXCUSE ME. I'M SORRY. THAT'S OK. WHERE ARE YOU CALLING FROM? MR. HEFNER'S HOUSE. YOU MEAN THE MANSION? OH, PAUL, I WISH YOU COULD BE HERE. I WISH YOU COULD BE HERE WITH ME. YOU SHOULD SEE IT. I'VE NEVER SEEN SO MANY PRETTY GIRLS IN MY WHOLE LIFE. I SUDDENLY FEEL REALLY UGLY. IS JIMMY CAAN THERE? WHO? SONNY CORLEONE IN THE GODFATHER. I DIDN'T SEE IT. HE'S PROBABLY THERE. HE AND HEF ARE PALS. WHO DID YOU MEET? OH, SO MANY PEOPLE. LET ME THINK. I THINK HE'S A FAMOUS ATHLETE OR SOMETHING. NAME'S BILLY BOB, OR WILLY JOE, SOMETHING LIKE THAT. BATTON? BILLY JOE BATTON? HE SORT OF HALF SMILES ALL THE TIME. HA HA. WELL, WATCH OU FOR THAT SMILE. HE'S A REAL COCKSMAN. GOT A BAD REPUTATION. IS TELLY THERE? DID YOU MEET TELLY? I DON'T THINK SO. I'M NOT SURE. OK, DOROTHY, WHEN YOU MEET PEOPLE, YOU SHOULD REALLY MAKE AN EFFOR TO TRY TO REMEMBER THEIR NAMES. IT MAKES A GOOD IMPRESSION. I'LL TRY FROM NOW ON. PAUL, EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING SO FAST. IT'S A LITTLE BANANAS. LET'S SEE, THEY'RE GOING TO SHOOT SOME MORE SHOTS OR WHATEVER THEY CALL THEM, AND THEY SAY I'M NOT GOING TO BE ANNIVERSARY PLAYMATE, BUT THEY DID SAY I'VE GOT A GOOD CHANCE, A VERY GOOD CHANCE OF BEING CENTERFOLD FOR AUGUST. MR. HEFNER WILL MAKE THE DECISION NEXT WEEK. ISN'T IT TERRIFIC? I AM SO EXCITED. WHAT'S HE LIKE? MR. HEFNER? OH, NICE, LIKE I SAID. BUT I GET THE FEELING THAT EVERYBODY TREMBLES A LITTLE WHEN THEY MENTION HIS NAME. YOU KNOW, "MR. HEFNER WANTS TO SEE YOU." WAS HE WEARING PAJAMAS? HOW'D YOU KNOW? I'VE BEEN WANTING TO HAVE THIS TALK WITH YOU FOR A WHILE, BUT I GUESS WE'VE BEEN KEEPING YOU PRETTY BUSY. I'LL SAY. COFFEE FOR MISS STRATTEN. YES, SIR. DOROTHY, IT'S GOING TO TAKE A COUPLE WEEKS OR SO TO COME TO A DECISION ON THIS THING, ET CETERA. OH, I UNDERSTAND. THANK YOU. HAVE A SEAT. IN THE MEANTIME, I IMAGINE YOU COULD USE SOME MONEY. YES, I COULD. I THOUGHT SO. ANYWAY, OUR PEOPLE THOUGH WE COULD FIT YOU IN AS A BUNNY AT OUR CLUB IN CENTURY CITY. TIPS ARE PRETTY GOOD. THAT'LL BE JUST FINE. AND I'LL SEE IF I CAN' GET THEM TO FIND YOU A LITTLE APARTMEN WHILE YOU'RE WAITING. NOT TOO EXPENSIVE. IN THE MEANTIME, YOU CAN STAY HERE, IF YOU'D LIKE, IN ONE OF THE GUEST ROOMS. WELL, I CAN LOOK FOR AN APARTMENT MYSELF. NO. WE'LL DO ALL THAT FOR YOU. ANYWAY, I HAVE A FEELING IT'S ALL VERY TEMPORARY, DOROTHY. I THINK THERE ARE VERY BIG THINGS AHEAD FOR YOU. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT, BUT I'LL CERTAINLY TRY FOR YOU. I KNOW YOU WILL. WELL, THAT JUS LEAVES MY, UH, MY SPEECH. READY? YES, SIR. PLAYBOY IS A VERY SPECIAL MAGAZINE, DOROTHY. THERE'S NO OTHER MAGAZINE LIKE IT. ALL THE WRITERS, EDITORS, PHOTOGRAPHERS, ALL THE GIRLS, ET CETERA, WE ALL HAVE A VERY SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP. IT'S NOT LIKE ANY OTHER MAGAZINE. WE'RE ALL LIKE A... WELL, WE'RE JUST LIKE A FAMILY. A FAMILY. IT'S LIKE HAVING A FAMILY. [WHISPERING] The whole magazine is like having a family. THE WHOLE MAGAZINE IS LIKE HAVING A FAMILY. SEE? I KNOW A LOT OF PEOPLE SAY THAT'S A LOT OF BULL, BUT THAT'S HOW I THINK OF IT. THAT'S HOW WE ALL THINK OF IT. IT'S KIND OF A WORLD WITHIN A WORLD. IT'S A... WELL, IT'S A FAMILY. Dorothy: WASN'T THA NEAT ABOUT THE JOB AND THE APARTMEN AND EVERYTHING? HEY, LISTEN, IT ALL SOUNDS TERRIFIC. AND, GOD, MEETING ALL THOSE PEOPLE. THEY'RE GOOD CONTACTS. IT CAN ONLY HELP. KNOW WHAT I MEAN? I THINK SO. I'LL CALL TOMORROW. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU, TOO. BYE. THANKS, JOHNNY. THAT WAS SOME PHONE CALL. HOW'S THE KID DOING? SOUNDS LIKE IT'S GOING REALLY RIGHT. SHE WAS CALLING FROM HEF'S PLACE. JOHNNY, BE A PAL AND POUR ME ABOUT THAT MUCH SCOTCH. SHE'S IN THE MANSION? BILLY JOE BATTON IS MAKING A BIG PLAY FOR HER. BILLY JOE BATTON THE FOOTBALL PLAYER... MAKING A MOVE ON DOROTHY? AH, IT FIGURES. THAT'S THE KIND OF TOWN L.A. IS. JESUS CHRIST... I'D BE GOING OUTTA MY SKULL IF BILLY JOE BATTON WAS TRYING TO GE IN MY GIRL'S PANTS. AH... WHAT'S HER NAME? ? OFF RAMP, IT'S THE BEST ? ? TAKE ME OFF RAMP ? ? OFF RAMP ? ? YOU'RE MY BEST ? ? OFF RAMP ? ? DOO-DOO DOO-DOO DOO-DOO DOO-DOO ? ? DOO-DOO DOO-DOO DOO-DOO DOO-DOO ? ? OFF RAMP! ? I DON'T LIKE TO DO, LIKE, BLACK DUDES AND WHITE DUDES KIND OF STUFF, BUT THE THING I'VE NOTICED ABOUT BLACK DUDES AND WHITE DUDES IS THAT, LIKE, BLACK PEOPLE CHASTISE THEIR KIDS MORE. AND AS A RESULT, YOU DON'T SEE BLACK PEOPLE DOING CRAZY THINGS, LIKE SHOOTING THE PRESIDENT. THAT'S TRUE, 'CAUSE IF A BROTHER WOULD HAVE SHOT THE PRESIDENT, AS THEY WERE LEADING HIM AWAY, IT'D BE LIKE, "LOOK, MAN, JUST DON' TELL MY MAMA, MAN. MY MAMA GONNA KILL ME, MAN..." HERE SHE COMES. THAT'S ROOM 217 AND 218. AT THE BEVERLY HILTON. NO, I CAN'T, REALLY. OOPS. THAT'S NOT THE WAY WE'RE SUPPOSED TO DO THAT. THAT'S CALLED THE BUNNY DIP. Dorothy: PLAYBOY'S MOTTO IS "THE GIRL NEXT DOOR." THEY LOOK FOR GIRLS THAT ARE WHOLESOME AND FRESH AND YOUNG AND NAIVE. THEY LOOK FOR ALL OF THAT, SO MOST OF THOSE GIRLS DO, UH, HAVE THAT TYPE OF BACKGROUND. YOU KNOW, SNIDER, I HAVE THIS THEORY ABOUT YOU. OH, YOU DO, DO YOU? I THINK THE REASON WHY YOU'RE SO GOOD IN BED IS BECAUSE YOU JUST PLAIN TRY HARDER. I MEAN, BABY, YOU PUT IN AN 8-HOUR DAY IN 15 MINUTES. HA HA HA! Dorothy, on answering machine: HI, IT'S ME. I CALLED EARLIER, TOO, HOLD IT. BUT I DIDN'T LEAVE A MESSAGE. I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I HAD TO WORK LATE, BUT I'LL CALL AGAIN WHEN I GET HOME. OH, THANKS FOR THE FLOWERS. THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL. OOH, FLOWERS. THESE MACHINES MAKE ME SO NERVOUS. I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE IF I DON'T TALK FAST, MY 30 SECONDS WILL RUN OUT. YES, I THINK IT WOULD BE A TERRIFIC IDEA IF YOU TAKE EILEEN TO THE CARNIVAL. SHE'D LOVE IT. JUST DON'T LET HER EAT TOO MUCH JUNK FOOD. I LOVE YOU. BYE. WHEW, I MADE IT. THAT MUST BE NUMBER ONE. I BET YOU WAS SCARED AS HELL SHE WAS OU LAST NIGH DOIN' WHA WE JUST DID. LOOK I GOT TO GET UP EARLY, SO WHY DON'T YOU GE THE FUCK OUTTA HERE? ? LET IT HANG OUT, BABY ? ? LET IT HANG OUT NOW ? ? NOW, NOW-NOW-NOW ? ? LET IT HANG OUT, BABY ? ? EVERYBODY WORK OUT ? ? SOOKIE, SOOKIE, SOOKIE, SOOKIE ? ? SOOKIE SOOKIE SOOO! ? ? LET IT HANG OUT, BABY ? ? DO THE BOOMERANG... ? WE GOT THE BEST ONE, SWEETHEART. WE GOT A MERCEDES. ? LET IT HANG OUT, BABY ? WHAT CAN I GET YOU? UH, 2 HOT DOGS, MUSTARD AND RELISH, 2 ORANGE DRINKS, A BAG OF POTATO CHIPS, FRIES. AND 2 CARAMEL CORN. BUT NO JUNK FOOD. RIGHT? RIGHT. YOU KNOW, THAT HEALTH FOOD'LL KILL YOU. DON'T GO ON THE ROCKET AGAIN. THAT'S MY RIDE, SWEETHEART. EILEEN, STRAIGHTEN UP. YOU'RE SLOUCHING AGAIN. I KNOW... YOU WANT ME TO LOOK LIKE A CENTERFOLD. HONEST? YOU MEAN IT? AUGUST. OH, MR. HEFNER, THANK YOU. Woman: MISS STRATTON, WHAT ABOUT YOUR MOTHER? HOW DID SHE FEEL ABOU YOUR PHOTOS IN PLAYBOY? I DON'T THINK SHE LIKED IT AT ALL AT FIRST, BUT THEN SHE STARTED GETTING CALLS FROM SEVERAL OF HER FRIENDS CONGRATULATING HER, AND SHE SAID TO ME, "I FEEL LIKE A MOVIE STAR." I MEAN, SHE WAS SO EXCITED. $10,000! THEY'RE GONNA GIVE ME $10,000 FOR HAVING MY PICTURE TAKEN. FEELS GOOD, HUH? OH, YES. YES. DOROTHY, DO YOU REALLY LOVE ME? YES. YES, I DO. WELL, ALL RIGHT. HERE'S HOW IT LAYS OUT THEN. I'LL GRAB A PLANE BY WEDNESDAY, THURSDAY AT THE LATEST, AND I'LL BE THERE. WELL, I WOULDN' HAVE THAT MUCH TIME TO SPEND WITH YOU. IT'S LIKE THEY'VE GOT ME RUNNING ALL DAY LONG. THEN WHEN WE GET SOME TIME, WE'LL JUST RUN OVER TO VEGAS AND DO IT. WE'LL JUST DO IT, RIGHT? DO IT? DO WHAT? HOW ABOU GETTING MARRIED? WE'LL GET MARRIED, DOROTHY... MAKE IT PERMANENT, JUST LIKE THAT. WE'LL MAKE I A PERMANENT TEAM... FOR LIFE. WE HAD EVERYTHING GOING FOR US, BUT YOU FUCKS WOULDN'T LET ME IN. BIG FUCKING DEAL. WELL, YOU CAN TAKE YOUR MAGAZINE, YOUR MANSION, AND YOUR MOVIES AND SHOVE THEM ALL UP YOUR ASS NOW. LIAR! I HAVE MISSED YOU. I HAVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH. GUESS WE SHOULD GO, HUH? SOMEBODY TOLD MR. HEFNER I WAS GOING TO PICK YOU UP. IT'S HIS PERSONAL CAR. A LITTLE EMBARRASSING, ISN'T IT? NO. ? ...TO THE GULF OF MEXICO ? ? TO LAKE CHARLES, LOUISIANA ? ? LITTLE BESSIE GIRL THAT I ONCE KNEW ? ? SHE TOLD ME JUST TO COME ON BY ? ? IF THERE'S ANYTHING THAT SHE COULD DO ? ? UP ON CRIPPLE CREEK, SHE SENDS ME ? ? IF I SPRING A LEAK, SHE MENDS ME ? ? I DON'T HAVE TO SPEAK, SHE DEFENDS ME ? ? A DRUNKARD'S DREAM IF I EVER DID SEE ONE ? ? GOOD-LUCK HAG, SHE STUNG ME ? ? TO THE RACE TRACK I DID GO... ? HI. HI. YOU'RE DOROTHY. WE MET THE OTHER NIGHT. OH, YES. THIS IS PAUL SNIDER. AND YOU ARE... I'M SORRY. I FORGOT. THAT'S OK. I'M... VINCE ROBERTS. I'M A BIG FAN. THANKS. HEY, LISTEN, THAT WAS MY FAVORITE TV SHOW. THANK YOU. CANCELED, HUH? YEAH. ANY CHANCE THEY'LL BRING IT BACK? I DON' THINK SO. AH, TOO BAD. AREN'T MANY ACTORS AROUND LIKE YOU. THEY'RE ALL LIGHTWEIGHTS. WE NEED HEAVYWEIGHTS LIKE YOU. YOU BREAK MY HEART. JEEZ, IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE THAT SHOW WAS ON. WHAT IS IT, A YEAR NOW? IT'S BEEN 3 YEARS SINCE YOU WERE ON TV? YEAH. ISN'T THAT SOMETHING? BAD SCRIPTS, HUH? I GUESS SO. DOROTHY, THERE YOU ARE. EXCUSE ME. YEAH, YOU KNOW, GOOD WRITERS ARE REALLY HARD TO FIND OUT HERE. I'VE GOT A COUPLE OF PROJECTS IN MIND... I COULD USE A GOOD WRITER, AND I CAN'T FIND ANY. I MEAN, NO A DECENT ONE, ANYWAY, AND WHEN YOU DO, THEY WON'T DO WHA YOU TELL 'EM TO DO. YEAH. SOME WRITERS ARE LIKE THAT. WOULD YOU EXCUSE ME? I'M JUST GONNA... WELL, I FOR ONE HOPE YOU'RE BACK ON THE TUBE REAL SOON. THANKS. UM, ARE YOU WORKING ON ANYTHING NEW NOW? JUST READING. JUST READING. EXCUSE ME. SEE YA, VINCE. YOU SHOULD HAVE TALKED TO HIM. THERE'S HEF. STRAIGHTEN UP. HI, DOROTHY. LOOK AT HER. OH, WOW... ANYTIME. OK. I SEE YOU GOT HERE ALL RIGHT. MR. HEFNER, THIS IS PAUL SNIDER. PAUL, MR. HEFNER. IF A MAN HAS A RIGH TO FIND GOD IN HIS OWN WAY, HE HAS A RIGH TO GO TO THE DEVIL IN HIS OWN WAY. HERE'S ANOTHER ONE... DESCRIPTIONS OF MURDER WHICH WE CONSIDER A CRIME ARE ACCEPTABLE IN AR AND LITERATURE, BUT DESCRIPTIONS OF SEX ARE PROHIBITED. OUR SOCIETY HAS PUT HATE ABOVE LOVE, FAVORED KILLING OVER LIVING. RIGHT? PRETTY CLOSE, BUT I THINK I SAID "FAVORED DEATH OVER LIFE." WHAT? I DON' UNDERSTAND. WHAT? HE'S QUOTING ME. OLD ONES AT THAT. THAT'S GREAT STUFF. FINE PIECE OF WORK. FINE... GOD, I FEEL HEF HERE AND I ARE OLD FRIENDS. YOU KNOW, I THINK WE EVEN HAVE SOME MUTUAL BUDDIES. IS, UH, TELLY AT THIS BASH? TELLY? SAVALAS. TELLY SAVALAS. HE'S AN OLD PAL. THOUGHT I MIGH SEE HIM HERE. OH! HEY, BOBO. AH, BOBO. BOBO, I WANT YOU TO MEET DOROTHY STRATTEN. HI. HI. BOBO WELLER. I STILL GO YOUR CENTERFOLD ON MY WALL. OH, WOW. YOUR FAVORITE BOOK IS THE HITE REPORT. YOU LIKE ROD STEWART, LINDA RONSTADT, AND BOZ SCAGGS, RIGHT? OH, WOW. I'D KNOW THAT BOD ANYWHERE. WHAT'S YOUR NAME? SNIDER. DOROTHY? PAUL. EXCUSE US A SECOND. DOROTHY... WHAT DO YOU DO? UH, I'M A PERSONAL MANAGER. PHIL, SAY HELLO TO DOROTHY STRATTEN. HE SAYS SAY HELLO, YOU SAY HELLO. HELLO, DOROTHY STRATTEN. I'M PHIL WASS. HELLO. PHIL PRODUCES MOVIES... SOMETIMES. DOROTHY'S OUR MISS AUGUST. WE'RE ALL VERY EXCITED ABOUT HER. MAYBE IF YOU PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT, WE MIGHT JUS LET YOU PRESENT HER IN HER FILM DEBUT. SHE'S A VERY FINE ACTRESS. MR. HEFNER... DON'T WORRY. HE DOESN' KNOW A DAMN THING ABOUT ACTING ANYWAY. EXCUSE ME. I'LL LEAVE YOU 2 ALONE. LISTEN, I AM DOING A FILM CALLED BALL BEARINGS. MAYBE YOU'D LIKE TO DROP OVER THE OFFICE TOMORROW AND MEET THE DIRECTOR. WHAT HAVE I GOT TO LOSE? YOU DON'T KNOW THE DIRECTOR. EXCUSE ME FOR A MINUTE. YEAH, SURE. IT'S NOT MUCH OF A PART... SHE'LL TAKE IT. HI. PAUL SNIDER HERE. MISS STRATTEN, I SAW YOUR MOVIE DEBU IN BALL BEARINGS. UH-OH. HA HA... UH-OH IS RIGHT. NO, I'M NO THE FILM CRITIC, BUT THAT WASN' MUCH OF A PART. WELL, I WASN'T MUCH OF AN ACTRESS, EITHER. OH? ARE YOU BETTER NOW? OH, GOD, I HOPE SO. I'M STUDYING. THE CLASSICS? NO. ACTING. I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MUSIC. SORRY. I'M SO EMBARRASSED. HEFNER DIDN'T LIKE I WHEN I QUOTED HIM. I SHOULDA KEP MY MOUTH SHUT. DAMN. I THINK IT JUS SURPRISED HIM. DUMB MOVE. MAYBE YOU WERE A LITTLE NERVOUS. OH... LOOK AT THESE STUPID CLOTHES. DUMB MOVE QUOTING HIM. YOU KNOW, I WAS A LITTLE NERVOUS THE FIRST NIGH I WAS THERE, TOO... JESUS, WILL YOU STOP SAYIN' THAT! I MEAN, WHY THE HELL SHOULD I BE NERVOUS AROUND HEFNER AND THAT CROWD? BUNCH OF SMART ASSES... WITH THEIR STUPID, FAGGY HAIRSTYLES, SMUG BASTARDS. AND THAT VINCE ROBERTS... BOY, DOES HE WANT TO GET INTO YOUR PANTS. HE'S NOT GOING TO. HE'S ASKED YOU OUT, HASN'T HE? YES. WHAT'D YOU SAY? I SAID I HAD A FELLA, A STEADY FELLA. YOU DID? MAYBE YOU SHOULD. SHOULD WHAT? GO OUT WITH HIM. HE SAID HE WAS READING SOME PROJECTS. HO, I'M REALLY TIRED. LET'S GO TO BED. DO YOU THINK HEFNER LIKED ME? PAUL, COME ON... I DON'T THINK HE LIKED ME. IF HE JUS GOT TO KNOW ME... LOOK, MR. HEFNER, ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME THAT YOU DON'T WANT ME TO MARRY PAUL? YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND, DOROTHY, THAT A THIRD PARTY IS IN KIND OF A FUNNY POSITION, ET CETERA, WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO COUNSEL SOMEBODY ABOUT MARRIAGE. YOU NEVER KNOW HOW IT'S GOING TO END UP. IT'S NOT BECAUSE I'M GOING TO BE A PLAYMATE, IS IT? NO, NO. OF COURSE NOT. WELL, SOME OF THE OTHER GIRLS TOLD ME THAT YOU DIDN' LIKE THE PLAYMATES TO BE MARRIED. FRANKLY, WE THINK IT'S BETTER FOR THE IMAGE IF THEY'RE NOT. YOU UNDERSTAND THAT, DON'T YOU? BUT SEVERAL HAVE BEEN. JUST A MOMENT, SAM. WHO? GIVE ME SOME NAMES. CINDY WAS. GINGER, I THINK. THAT'S RIGHT. CINDY, GINGER... LOOK, HE CAN' JUST COME RIGHT OU AND SAY IT. HE'S TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. I KNOW HE IS, AND I THINK I KNOW WHA HE'S TRYING TO TELL ME, BUT I DON'T THINK HE UNDERSTANDS. WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM? WELL, HE'S... HE'S GOT THE PERSONALITY OF A PIMP. THAT WAS IMPROPER. I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT. OHH, MR. HEFNER, THAT'S JUST THE WAY HE USED TO DRESS. HE DOESN'T DRESS LIKE THAT ANYMORE. OH, GOD... I AM SO CONFUSED. I DON'T THINK ANYBODY UNDERSTANDS. I OWE IT TO HIM. MISS STRATTEN, MAY I ASK YOU A PERSONAL QUESTION? 36-24-36. NO. I HAVE THAT INFORMATION IN THE PRESS RELEASE RIGHT HERE. AS A MATTER OF FACT, I HAVE IT SEVERAL TIMES. I JUST WANTED TO KNOW IF YOU'RE MARRIED. YES. I'VE BEEN MARRIED ABOUT 3 MONTHS. I WONDER WHY YOU LOOKED AT MISS DAVIS WHEN I ASKED YOU THAT. NO REASON. NO REASON? IS HE TRAVELING WITH YOU? NO, HE'S NOT. AND WHY IS THAT? I'D LIKE MISS STRATTEN TO ANSWER ME... IF SHE WOULD. HE'S IN L.A. WORKING. WHAT SORT OF WORK DOES HE DO? HE'S DOING A SHOW. I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T HEAR THAT. COULD YOU REPEAT THA AGAIN A LITTLE LOUDER? HAL WANTS TO SOMEDAY BE THE FIRST BLACK PRESIDEN OF THE UNITED STATES! GIT ON DOWN NOW! SHOW 'EM WHAT YOU CAN DO! WHOO! GIVE HIM A HAND! HAL DAFOE! WHOA! [VILLAGE PEOPLE PLAY YMCA] THIS IS NUMBER 3. THIS IS MIKEY! MIKEY... WHOA... LOVES TO READ POETRY. AND MIKE HOPES TO SOMEDAY MEET OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN! OH, STOP. STOP IT RIGHT THERE. LADIES, STOP. I THINK I SEE SOMETHING. MICHAEL, YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF. NO PADDING! NOW, THAT'S THE RULES, BOYS! NO PADDING! NOW, YOU TURN AROUND, YOU BAD BOY. NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY. DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN! HERE WE GO WITH NUMBER 5! THIS IS DICK! OH, LADIES, LET ME TELL YA, DICK SPEAKS FLUENT FRENCH! I FOUND OU LAST NIGHT. OH, DICKY, SHOW 'EM WHAT YOU GOT, BABY. VOULEZ-VOUS COUCHER AVEC MOI, DICKY? WHAT DO YOU THINK OF DICK'S DONG? HEY, LADIES, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF ALL OF OUR BEAUTIFUL, WELL-HUNG, YOUNG MEN? OK, GUYS... 5, 6, 7, 8... WHOOO! ? ...GOT TO KNOW THIS ONE THING ? ? NO MAN ? ? DOES IT ALL BY HIMSELF ? ? I SAID YOUNG MAN ? ? PUT YOUR PRIDE ON THE SHELF ? ? AND JUST GO THERE ? ? TO THE YMCA... ? COMES TO 874 BUCKS APIECE. SORRY, PAUL. THOSE ARE THE FIGURES. I DON'T UNDERSTAND. THIS PLACE WAS PACKED. WELL, THEY WEREN'T EXACTLY A BUNCH OF BIG SPENDERS. IT WAS NO SHRINERS CONVENTION. ANY PROJECTS IN THE OFFING, ANY NEW FILMS? WELL, WHEN I GO BACK TO LOS ANGELES, I START A MOVIE CALLED WEDNESDAY'S CHILD. WHAT'S WEDNESDAY'S CHILD ABOUT? WELL, YOU'RE GOING TO SPEND A LOT OF TIME WATCHING ME GE TIED UP AND BEATEN. IT'S NOT A CLASSIC. HA HA. Man: SAL, WILL YOU PUT THE PELLE IN HER MOUTH, PLEASE? CAREFUL NOW. DON'T BITE IT. THERE'S A CALL FOR YOU, DOROTHY. NOT NOW, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE. ALL RIGHT, PUT THE GUN BACK UP TO HER FACE. HE SAYS HIS LINE, YOU SHAKE YOU HEAD NO. HARDER! AND THEN HE SLAPS YOU ACROSS THE FACE WITH THE GUN. WHAT? YOU BIT THE PELLET. HA HA... GOD DAMN IT! WHAT'S SO FUNNY? HA HA HA... I'M SORRY. CLEAN HER UP, PLEASE. OH, GOD. SHOULD I TELL HIM TO CALL BACK? HE'S CALLED 3 TIMES. FUCKING BLOOD PELLETS. JESUS... LOOK, I'M SORRY TO BOTHER YOU, BUT I FOUND IT. IT'S BEAUTIFUL. PAUL, LISTEN, I DON'T THINK THIS IS A VERY GOOD TIME TO TALK. I AM SITTING HERE FREAKING OUT. IT'S A PAUL SNIDER/ DOROTHY STRATTEN CAR IF EVER I'VE SEEN ONE. BUT IT'S A LITTLE MORE THAN I FIGURED. LOOK, I WAS WONDERING, IS THERE ANY WAY THAT YOU COULD GE TO THE BANK TODAY? I'D LIKE TO SIGN THE PAPERS BEFORE SOMEBODY ELSE GRABS IT. WE'RE GONNA NEED ANOTHER 3,000. ON YOUR LUNCH HOUR MAYBE? WE'VE BEEN SPENDING A LOT OF MONEY LATELY. MAYBE WE SHOULD WAIT. THERE'S NO A BETTER-LOOKING SE OF WHEELS IN THIS WHOLE FRIGGIN' TOWN. Director: DO YOU THINK IT MIGHT BE POSSIBLE TO DRAG MISS STRATTEN OFF THE PHONE FOR A FEW MINUTES? HE'LL WAIT. I'M GONNA GE A LICENSE PLATE THAT SPELLS OU "STAR 80." IT'S FAN- FUCKING-TASTIC. YOU KNOW... S-T-A-R 8-0? THAT'S YOU. STAR 80. EVERYONE IN THIS TOWN IS GOING TO KNOW WHO WE ARE. CAN YOU GE TO THE BANK? PLEASE? OK. OK, I'LL GO TO THE BANK. THAT'S MY QUEEN. DAVID... DAVID... WOULD YOU BRING HER IN HERE? WHAT TIME DO YOU THINK WE'RE GONNA FINISH? LATE. VERY LATE. LATE. HE SAID VERY LATE. IF YOU'RE NO GONNA BE HOME, I THOUGH I'D LIKE TO DROP BY THE MANSION FOR A WHILE. CAN YOU GIVE HIM A CALL AND FIX IT FOR ME, LET HIM KNOW I'M COMING? DOROTHY, IS THAT ALL RIGHT? MM-HMM. DAMN, I WISH HE WOULDN'T CALL ME HERE. ALL RIGHT. IT'S A SCI-FI. SHE, UH, SHE PLAYS A ROBOT. GET IN THERE, YOU MOTHER. THEY OFFERED US 10,000. WELL, I PUT A STOP TO THAT BUT FAST. STARTIN' I RIGHT AFTER WE FINISH WEDNESDAY'S CHILD. SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL. YOU CAN JUST TELL SHE'S MR. HEFNER'S FAVORITE. SHE'S THE BEST. THE BEST. YOU'RE PRETTY GOOD- LOOKING YOURSELF, BOBO. I'M ALL RIGHT. HI, LONNI. Billy Joel: ? BECAUSE YOU HAD TO BE A BIG SHOT, DIDN'T YA? ? ? YOU HAD TO OPEN UP YOUR MOUTH ? WHERE'S DOROTHY? WORKING. SHE CALLED AND ASKED IF IT WAS OK FOR HIM TO COME OVER. I JUST COULDN' SAY NO TO HER. OH, HI, HEF. HI, HEF. ? YOU HAD TO HAVE A WHITE-HOT SPOTLIGHT ? ? YOU HAD TO BE A BIG SHOT LAST NIGHT... ? YOU KNOW, THAT REMINDS ME. I GOT TO TALK TO HIM LATER. I GOT AN IDEA FOR A POSTER WITH DOROTHY. DAMN. OH... WANT TO GE SOMETHING TO EAT? I'M ALWAYS HUNGRY. DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M GAINING WEIGHT? WELL, I, UH, FIRST MET MR. SNIDER AT THE PLAYBOY MANSION. SNIDER, PAUL. HI. MARTIN GEBBER. WE WERE JUST GOING TO FEED OUR FACE. WOULD YOU JOIN US? SURE. PRACTICE HERE, DR. GEBBER? UH, GEB, PLEASE. NO, NEWPORT BEACH, BUT I PLAN TO MOVE HERE. INTERNIST? PLASTIC SURGERY. COSMETIC MOSTLY. PAUL IS MARRIED TO DOROTHY STRATTEN. HE ALSO MANAGES HER. THE CHICKEN. HE TOLD ME HE AND DOROTHY WERE LOOKING FOR A NEW PLACE TO LIVE. AND MAYBE SINCE I WAS MOVING MY PRACTICE TO L.A., WE COULD FIND A PLACE TOGETHER, SHARE EXPENSES. WE MOVED IN IN OCTOBER, AND I TOOK THE TOP HALF, THEY LIVED ON THE FIRST FLOOR. IT WAS RIGHT NEAR THE FREEWAY, NOISY AS HELL. BUT IT SUITED ME FINE. IT HAD A YARD FOR KING, A GARAGE FOR MY ROLLS-ROYCE. THE ROLLS IS AN INVESTMENT FOR ME. IT'S AN INVESTMENT. I'M NOT INTO STATUS SYMBOLS LIKE MOST PEOPLE OUT HERE. IT'S AN INVESTMENT, OK? DOROTHY HAD ALREADY DONE THE CENTERFOLD, MISS AUGUST. SHE HAD ALREADY DONE PARTS IN FANTASY ISLAND AND BUCK ROGERS. THINGS WERE MOVING FAS FOR HER. I BECAME VERY FOND OF HER. SHE WAS HANDLING HER PUBLIC VISIBILITY VERY WELL. SHE WAS MATURING VERY FAST FOR 19, BUT TO ME, SHE WAS JUST A FRIEND. UNDERSTAND? A FRIEND. I HAD A GAL... ROBIN. I STAYED WITH HER MOST OF THE TIME, SO I DIDN'T SPEND MUCH TIME AT THE HOUSE. BUT WE'D GET TOGETHER ONCE IN A WHILE... SUNDAY AFTERNOON BARBECUE WITH A FEW FRIENDS. PAUL, DID YOU MAKE THIS CONTRAPTION YOURSELF? 12 OF THEM. WHO ARE YOU SELLING THEM TO? TO ANYBODY WHO WANTS TO BUY ONE. SHE'S GOT NO REAL COMPETITION, YOU KNOW. OH, WHAT ABOU MISS DECEMBER? VICKI SOMETHING? NEXT TO DOROTHY? YOU'RE KIDDING. WHERE DO YOU WANT ME TO PUT IT? IN THE GARAGE, WITH ALL THE OTHER "NO SALES." YOU SHOULD BUY ONE OF THOSE, NICK. IF HEFNER HAS SENSE AT ALL, IT WILL BE DOROTHY. THERE'S NOBODY ELSE IN THE SAME CLASS. HAS TO BE. THEN YOU CAN ALL VISIT US IN BEL AIR. DO YOU HEAR THAT? WHAT? YOU'RE MOVING TO BEL AIR. OH, YEAH, SURE. WHEN? WHEN YOU BECOME PLAYMATE OF THE YEAR. GET OUT OF HERE. NO, I'M WITH HIM. I THINK YOU'RE GONNA BE PLAYMATE OF THE YEAR, TOO. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? Woman: WHAT IS IT? I KNOW WHAT THAT IS. I SAW THAT IN A SHOP ON SANTA MONICA. OH, MY GOD! NOW, DON'T TELL US THAT'S FOR EXERCISE, PAUL. I THINK I KNOW WHAT IT'S FOR. Man: SO DO I. WHAT IS IT? SOMEBODY TELL ME. WHAT? WELL... TELL HER. ASK THE MAN WHO BUILT IT. [WHISPERING] I ONLY MADE I AS A JOKE. WHAT DID I DO WRONG? I DID EVERYTHING YOU DID. SOMEBODY TELL ME, HUH? WHAT I DID WRONG? YOU ROTTEN FUCKERS! [MUSIC PLAYS] OOH! AH! HI, ARAM. WHO'S THE GIRL IN THE RED CAP? AH. THAT'S DOROTHY STRATTEN. WHY DON'T YOU PUT HER IN YOUR PICTURE, ARAM? NO. HUH? I NEED A REAL ACTRESS. LET HER READ. YOU'LL SEE. WHO HANDLES HER? PETER ROSE, ROSE AND MATZ. ONLY DEAL WITH PETER. WHY? I'LL TELL YOU ANOTHER TIME. NICE TO SEE YOU, ARAM. IT'LL BE A BIG PICTURE... 5-6 MILLION. I HEAR HE'S GOT NEWMAN. I WISH I KNEW SOME OF HIS PICTURES. TIME STEP? DID YOU EVER SEE TIME STEP? NO. THE LAST CHASE? NO. IF IT COMES UP, SHOULD I LIE? NO, I DON'T THINK SO. JUST BE YOURSELF, AND YOU'LL BE FINE. YOU'VE GOT A QUALITY, DOROTHY. HEF SPOTTED IT, AND I'M SURE ARAM WILL, TOO. [LAUGHING] OH, PETER, THAT'S AGENT TALK. THAT'S FRIEND TALK. WELL, HERE WE ARE. GULP. I'LL WAIT HERE. IT SHOULDN' TAKE LONG. OK. TIME STEP AND THE LAST CHASE, RIGHT? RIGHT. A GIRL CAN'T JUS SIT BACK AND SAY, WELL, NOW MY PHOTOS HAVE BEEN SEEN ALL OVER THE WORLD IN PLAYBOY, AND I'M SURE MANY PRODUCERS AND DIRECTORS HAVE SEEN MY PICTURES, AND IF THEY LIKE ME, THEY'LL CALL ME. IT JUST DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY. SO YOU STILL HAVE TO GO OUT THERE AND SEEK OPPORTUNITY? ABSOLUTELY. DON'T BE NERVOUS. HE'S REALLY VERY NICE. [KNOCKING ON DOOR] HI. HI. I'M ARAM. I'M DOROTHY. YEAH, I KNOW. UH... YOU NERVOUS? YES. YEAH, SO AM I. WELL, DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME? TIME STEP WAS WONDERFUL. UH, THAT'S THE LAST CHASE. YOU DIDN'T SEE TIME STEP, DID YOU? NO, BUT I'M GOING TO. WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE SOME OF MY PICTURES? NO. SHOULD I READ FOR YOU? UH... NO. NO. Dorothy: ARAM SAYS IT'S GOING TO BE A CLOSED SE AND A VERY TIGHT SCHEDULE. HE SAYS WE'LL BE WORKING REALLY LONG DAYS... 14, 16 HOURS. I KNOW NEW YORK. WE WOULDN'T HAVE THAT MUCH TIME TO SEE EACH OTHER. I COULD REALLY HELP YOU THERE. SOMETHING IS SCREWY, DOROTHY. SOMETHING ELSE IS GOING ON HERE. I CAN FEEL IT. ARAM SAYS I'M GOING TO NEED EVERY BI OF CONCENTRATION. HE DID, HUH? ARAM SAYS THIS, AND ARAM SAYS THAT. WILL YOU STOP WITH THE FUCKING ARAM! ARAM IS A VERY NICE MAN. OH, SHIT! THEY'RE ALL NICE TO YOU! "EVERYBODY IS WONDERFUL. MR. HEFNER IS WONDERFUL." THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD IS WONDERFUL TO YOU! WELL, FUCK ARAM! OR MAYBE YOU HAVE ALREADY. OH, PAUL... I MEAN, MAYBE THAT'S WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT, HUH? MAYBE THAT'S WHAT HAS BEEN GOING ON AT THOSE REHEARSALS UP AT HIS HOUSE. DID YOU FUCK HIM? IS THAT HOW YOU GOT THE PART? THAT'S HOW IT'S DONE, OUT HERE, ISN'T IT? [MUTTERING] THAT'S REALLY UNFAIR. Dorothy: IT MAY SOUND CORNY, BUT I HAVE TO CONCENTRATE MY LOVE ON JUST ONE MAN. [CAMERA CLICKS] I'M FAITHFUL. [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS] GOD, I'M SUCH A JERK SOMETIMES. I'M SORRY. I'M SO SORRY. I DO UNDERSTAND. IT'S... IT'S JUST THAT I LOVE YOU SO DAMN MUCH. PAUL, LET'S GO BACK TO VANCOUVER. I DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS MOVIE. I'M AFRAID. OF WHAT? I DON'T KNOW. IT WAS NICE IN VANCOUVER. PLEASE, LET'S GO BACK. ANGEL, WE CAN'T GO BACK. WE'D LOSE ALL THE CONTACTS WE'VE MADE HERE. PLEASE. NO. UH-UH. BUT, I HAVE THIS TERRIFIC IDEA. I'M YOUR MANAGER, RIGHT? WELL, AS YOUR MANAGER, I THINK YOU SHOULD GO TO NEW YORK AND BECOME A BIG MOVIE STAR. I'LL STAY HERE AND WORK ON THE DOROTHY STRATTEN POSTER. IT'S GONNA MAKE US A FORTUNE. GOOD IDEA? IT CAME TO ME JUST LIKE THAT. HEY. YOU'RE MY QUEEN. I DON'T KNOW. HE SEEMED IN EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD SPIRITS JUST BEFORE SHE LEFT, HELPING HER WITH THIS AND THAT, BEING REALLY ATTENTIVE. GAVE HER A GOING-AWAY PARTY. MUST HAVE COST A FORTUNE. BORROWED MY ROLLS TO DRIVE HER TO THE AIRPORT. SAID, "THE QUEEN HAS TO GO IN STYLE." AND AFTER SHE LEFT, HE CAME BACK HERE TO THE HOUSE. AND THEN... THEN HE DID THE DAMNEDEST THING. I'M STILL NOT SURE WHY HE DID IT, BUT HE BUIL A DOGHOUSE FOR KING. A BEAUTIFUL DOGHOUSE. CRAZIEST THING. I DIDN'T THINK HE EVEN KNEW I HAD A DOG. YEAH, MOVE, CAROLINE. OK. YEAH, COME. GIVE ME MORE. COME IN A LITTLE FURTHER. YEAH, HOLD THAT, HOLD THAT. YEAH, MARK IT. MARK IT. TAKE A LOOK, GARY. IS THAT OK? THAT'S NICE. YOU SHOULDN' CHEW GUM. IT'S GOT SUGAR IN IT. [GIGGLES] THANK YOU. IT'S HIM. I KNOW IT. I CAN TELL FROM THE WAY SHE SAYS HIS NAME ON THE PHONE. AND WHAT DOES SHE SAY? NOT TOO MUCH. SHE ALWAYS SAYS SHE'S BEEN WORKING ON ARAM'S FILM ALL DAY AND DOESN' FEEL LIKE TALKING. WHY CAN'T YOU ACCEPT THAT? SHE CALLS IT FILM. CHRIST, SHE NEVER SAID "FILM" BEFORE. SHE ALWAYS SAID MOVIE OR PICTURE, BUT NEVER FILM. I BET HE CALLS IT FILM. THAT'S HARDLY SUFFICIENT CAUSE TO PUT YOURSELF THROUGH ALL THIS. HE'S FEEDING HER COKE. PAUL, I KNOW YOU'RE UPSET, BUT YOU SHOULDN' EVEN SAY THAT. AND KNOWING DOROTHY, I DOUBT IT. YOU'RE WRONG. YEAH? SHE KEP SNIFFING LAST NIGHT... [SNIFF SNIFF SNIFF] THROUGH THE WHOLE CONVERSATION SHE KEPT SNIFFING. MAYBE SHE'S GOT A COLD. YEAH, THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID. COLD, MY ASS! PAUL, YOU'RE GONNA MAKE YOURSELF LOONY IF YOU KEEP GOING LIKE THIS. YOU GOT TO REALIZE, DOROTHY IS EVERY MAN'S FANTASY. EVERYBODY WHO SEES HER, OR EVEN HER PICTURE IN A MAGAZINE, FOR THAT MATTER, IS GOING TO BE COMING AFTER HER. AND THERE'S ALWAYS GONNA BE SOMEONE WHO'S RICHER THAN YOU, MORE FAMOUS THAN YOU, HAS A LONGER PENIS THAN YOU, AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. SHE'S NOT HERSELF, MAN! LOOK, I KNOW THESE GUYS, GEB. THEY STICK A LITTLE COKE UP A GIRL'S NOSE, THEY FIGURE SHE'LL DO ANYTHING. JESUS, YOU HAVEN'T HEARD ONE WORD I'VE SAID. LOOK, ALL YOU CAN DO IS LET HER KNOW YOU LOVE HER. GET YOUR OWN FEE ON THE GROUND. STOP COMPLAINING! GO OUT AND GET YOURSELF A JOB, GET SOMETHING GOING, AND TRY TO MAKE HER PROUD OF YOU! I KNOW IT. YOU'RE RIGHT. I CAN HANDLE THIS. I CAN HANDLE IT. WHAT KIND OF BUSINESS ARE YOU IN? WELL, I WAS THINKING IN TERMS OF A HEALTH SPA. YOU KNOW WHO DOROTHY STRATTEN IS, DON'T YOU? I THINK SO. WELL, THAT'S MY WIFE, AND I'M HER PERSONAL MANAGER... Paul: I WAS THINKING OF CALLING I "DOROTHY STRATTEN'S HEALTH SPA." ALL MODERN EQUIPMENT... NAUTILUS, STEAM, SAUNA. YOU KNOW, THEY'RE INTO THAT SORT OF THING OUT HERE. YOU JUST GIVE THEM WHITE TEETH, A SUNTAN, AND SOME MUSCLES, AND BANG! YOU'RE A HIT. I SAW A HOT LOCATION ON SANTA MONICA. THE REAL ESTATE WOMAN SAID THE OWNER WANTS 2,500 A MONTH, BUT SHE'S PRETTY SURE IT'LL COME DOWN. WHAT DO YOU THINK? SOMETHING WRONG, DOROTHY? NO. WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK? IT SOUNDS OK. YOU DON'T LIKE IT. I CAN TELL BY THE TONE OF YOUR VOICE YOU DON'T LIKE IT. SHIT! PAUL, DO YOU THINK WE COULD TALK TOMORROW? I'M REALLY TIRED, I GUESS. YEAH, SURE. UH... LISTEN... I CALLED A COUPLE OF TIMES LAST NIGHT. DID, UH, YOU GE ANY OF MY MESSAGES? YES, I DID, BUT WE WORKED VERY LATE. HOW LATE? I DON'T REMEMBER EXACTLY. I WAS WITH PEGGY. PEGGY JOHNSON. WHO'S PEGGY JOHNSON? SHE'S AN ACTRESS. SHE'S IN THE FILM, TOO. YOU'D LIKE HER. SHE'S REALLY NICE. FILM. ANYWAY, WE'VE BECOME FRIENDS, AND IT GOT SO LATE THAT I SPENT THE NIGH AT HER APARTMENT. I DIDN'T WANT TO WAKE YOU. I THOUGH YOU'D BE SLEEPING. I'M STAYING AT NANCY'S HOUSE. [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS] I GUESS YOU DIDN' WANT TO WAKE ME. PAUL, I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T HEAR YOU. NOTHING. IT WAS NOTHING. SO, UH, HOW ARE THINGS GOING ON THE SET? ARE YOU, UH, GETTING ALONG ALL RIGH WITH THE DIRECTOR? BECAUSE I THINK IT'S IMPORTAN THAT AN ACTRESS AND HER DIRECTOR SHOULD HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP. THERE MUST BE SOMETHING YOU CAN DO, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE. HE'S STEALING MY WIFE. CAN'T WE SUE HIM? CAN'T WE MAKE THE BASTARD PAY? PAY FOR SOMETHING. SUE? FOR WHAT? FOR WHAT? YOU'RE THE DETECTIVE. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO TELL ME FOR WHAT. ARE YOU HER MANAGER? YES. GOT ANY CONTRACTS, ANY PAPERS? NO, BUT... BUT IT WAS SOMETHING YOU BOTH TALKED ABOUT, RIGHT? IT WAS UNDERSTOOD, RIGHT? YES. IT WAS UNDERSTOOD. YOU HAD A VERBAL CONTRACT, THEN, RIGHT? THAT'S RIGHT, WE HAD A VERBAL CONTRACT. WE'RE A TEAM. I DISCOVERED HER. YEAH, I KNOW. YOU SAID THAT. WELL, MAYBE... MAYBE WE CAN TRY SUING HIM FOR ENTICEMEN TO BREACH HER MANAGEMEN CONTRACT WITH YOU. YEAH, THAT'S IT. NOT SO FAST. I'M NOT A LAWYER. I'D HAVE TO CHECK WITH ONE. I KNOW WE'D HAVE TO HAVE DOCUMENTATION. I'D LIKE TO KILL THE SON OF A BITCH. I CAN'T HELP YOU WITH THAT. Dorothy: HE CALLED ME 5 TIMES LAST NIGHT. I DIDN'T GET ANY SLEEP. THAT'S WHY I KEP MISSING MY MARK. WE'LL GET I AFTER LUNCH. I DON'T KNOW WHY I FEEL THIS LOYALTY TO HIM. HE'S FOOLING AROUND. I KNOW IT. HE'S GOT OTHER WOMEN. HE ALWAYS HAS. AT ABOUT 3:00 IN THE MORNING, EVERY FUCKING CREEP ON THE STRIP SEEMS TO WIND UP AT OUR JOINT. HE DIDN'T LOOK ANY DIFFEREN FROM ANY OTHER SCHMUCK IN THIS TOWN, BUT HE TALKED NICER. HE SAID HE COULD GET ME IN PLAYBOY, THAT HE KNEW HEF. SAID HE COULD GET ME IN THE MOVIES. HE HAD A BUSINESS CARD AND A MERCEDES 450 SL, SO WHAT THE FUCK? Aram: WHAT ABOU THE HEALTH CLUB IDEA? HE COULDN'T GE ANY BACKING FOR IT. NO ONE WOULD GIVE HIM ANY MONEY. WHAT? SAY IT. WELL, I JUST DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD LEND YOUR NAME TO SOMETHING LIKE THAT... A HEALTH CLUB... WITH HIM OR ANYONE ELSE. THE MORE HE FAILS, THE MORE HE SEEMS TO HANG ON TO ME. YEAH, THIS IS PAUL SNIDER. I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET THROUGH TO HEF... [WHISPERING] Snider. MR. HEFNER IS OUT OF TOWN. CAN I HELP YOU? WHO IS THIS? WHO AM I TALKING TO? I'M ROY, MR. HEFNER'S ASSISTANT. OH. WELL, LISTEN, ROY, HERE'S WHAT IT IS. I'D LIKE TO DROP BY THE MANSION TONIGH AND TALK TO HEF. I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU... YEAH, RIGHT. HE'S OUT OF TOWN. OH, SHIT. I SHOULD'VE KNOWN YOU WERE BULLSHITTING ME. THERE IS SOMEONE I'D LIKE HIM TO SEE. WOULD YOU MAYBE LEAVE MY NAME AT THE GATE, ROY? I'M VERY SORRY, I CAN'T DO THAT. ONLY MR. HEFNER HIMSELF CAN DO THAT. AW, SURE YOU CAN, ROY. I KNOW IT'S DONE. IT'S DONE ALL THE TIME. COME ON, GIVE IT A TRY. HEY, WE'VE MET, HAVEN'T WE, ROY? I WAS PROBABLY WITH DOROTHY... DOROTHY STRATTEN? I KNOW WHO YOU ARE, BUT I CAN'T HELP YOU. I WILL LEAVE YOUR MESSAGE, THOUGH. OK, SPORT, LEAVE THE MESSAGE. I'LL CALL BACK LATER. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? I BET YOU DON' EVEN KNOW HEFNER. WHAT TIME WOULD BE A GOOD TIME TO CALL BACK? I REALLY COULDN'T TELL YOU. NO. WELL, I DIDN' THINK YOU COULD. THANKS FOR ALL YOUR HELP, ROY. YOU'RE WELCOME. ARE WE OR AREN'T WE GOING? THAT SON OF A BITCH WAS THERE THE WHOLE TIME. DO YOU WANT TO STAY WITH HIM? DO YOU WANT TO LEAVE HIM? WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? I THINK YOU'RE GOING TO NEED SOME LEGAL HELP. YOU SHOULD PROBABLY TALK TO A LAWYER. DOROTHY, YOU JUST CAN' LET HIM DO THIS TO YOU. HE'S GOT TO GIVE YOU MORE FREEDOM. YOU GOT TO UNDERSTAND, YOU'RE JUS NOT THE SAME GIRL YOU WERE IN VANCOUVER. YOU'VE GROWN. YOU'VE MATURED. I SEE IT HAPPENING RIGHT BEFORE MY EYES, EVERY DAY. YOU'RE UNIQUE, DOROTHY. AND YOU HAVE A UNIQUE GIFT. YOU'VE GROWN, AND HE STAYED THE SAME. [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS] Dorothy: HOLLYWOOD HASN'T CHANGED MY VALUES OR MY PERSONALITY, BUT IT'S CERTAINLY MADE ME WISER. I THINK I'VE GAINED 5 YEARS EXPERIENCE IN 18 MONTHS. YOU'VE OUTGROWN HIM. THIS IS A LITTLE ROUGH. ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO HEAR IT? OK. "SHE'S PRACTICALLY MOVED OUT OF THE WYNDHAM. "SHE USUALLY GOES THERE AFTER SHOOTING, "PICKS UP MESSAGES, "AND WALKS OVER TO THE PLAZA. "HE'S IN SUITE 1210. "THEY USUALLY EA IN THE HOTEL. "AND IN THE MORNING, SHE GOES BACK TO THE WYNDHAM "WHERE SHE WAITS FOR THE STUDIO CAR TO COME PICK HER UP." SO YOU WERE RIGHT ALL ALONG. IT IS HIM. THEY'RE HIDING I PRETTY GOOD. YOU ALL RIGHT? YEAH, SURE. I JUST GOT TO TAKE A PISS. IF WE JUST HAD SOMETHING... A LETTER, A TAPE, ANYTHING WHERE SHE TALKS ABOUT THE MANAGEMENT THING, I THINK WE MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING. ON ENTICEMENT, I MEAN. AH, FUCK BOTH OF THEM. WHY DON'T WE JUST SAY, "LOOK, YOU WANT HER, PAL? YOU CAN HAVE HER. BUT YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO PAY." I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL, BUT I DON'T THINK SO. HEY, MAYBE THERE'S SOMETHING IN ALIENATION OF AFFECTIONS. I DON'T THINK SO. [WEAPON COCKS] YEAH, IT WAS 379.95 NEW. AND YOU CAN HAVE I FOR 250...EVEN. IT'S ONLY A YEAR OLD. HA HA HA HA! IT WAS ONLY FIRED ON SUNDAYS BY A LITTLE OLD PSYCHOTIC SCHOOLTEACHER. HOW DO YOU LOAD IT? OH, EASY. IT TAKES ONE TO 5. I'LL GIVE YOU ONE. YOU PUT I IN THE CHAMBER, YOU PRESS THE BUTTON, AND YOU COCK IT... AND SHE'S READY TO GO. LEFTY, HUH? FEELS GOOD, DOESN'T IT? WELL, WE GOT A SALE? WE WAS ACTING REALLY WEIRD. HE PASTED, PINNED, SCOTCH-TAPED, GLUED PHOTOS OF HER, OF HIM, OF HIM AND HER, OF HER AND HIM, ALL OVER THE DOWNSTAIRS LIKE SOME SORT OF BIZARRE SHRINE. WEIRD. FRANKLY... I THOUGHT IT WAS A LITTLE LIKE A SOAP OPERA. AND I OBVIOUSLY MISREAD HIM. THAT'S PRETTY MUCH THE SAME PICTURE. AW, LOOK. THAT'S EILEEN. WHAT A KID. I WAS THINKING OF BRINGING HER DOWN HERE FOR A VISI WHEN DOROTHY COMES BACK. THAT'D BE FUN. IT'S ROUGH. IT'S REALLY ROUGH. I'M NOT SURE I CAN TAKE IT. LISTEN, ROBIN, I WAN TO GET THESE TO KING. DID YOU SEE THE PROM PICTURE? DID I SHOW THAT TO YOU? I BOUGHT HER THIS WHITE DRESS. HERE IT IS. I'VE NEVER FEL THIS WAY BEFORE. SHE BROKE MY HEART. NICE, HUH? I'VE GO A BETTER ONE. PAUL, LOOK, WE REALLY GOT TO MOVE ALONG. IT'S WHEN I'M HOLDING HER AND WE WERE DANCING. IT'S REALLY NICE. WAIT JUST A SECOND. WE'LL BE BACK IN AN HOUR, ALL RIGHT? OK, MAN. OK, WE'LL CATCH YOU LATER. TAKE IT EASY, OK? WHOA! MAN, I THOUGH I'D CRACK UP WHEN HE SAID, "SHE'S BROKEN MY HEART." I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS FUNNY. I CAN TAKE A BRAGGING SNIDER. I CAN TAKE A CONNIVING SNIDER. [WHISTLES] KING! YEAH! I JUST CAN'T STOMACH A SENTIMENTAL SNIDER. IT'S ABOUT THE ONLY TIME I'VE LIKED HIM. GET OUTTA HERE. WHY? I DON'T KNOW, REALLY. THIS MACHO GUY LIKE THAT. YOU DON'T SUPPOSE HE'D DO ANYTHING CRAZY, DO YOU? LIKE WHAT? I DON'T KNOW. LIKE HURT HIMSELF? NOT IF IT MEANS MUSSING HIS HAIR. CAN'T WE TALK NOW? I'M GOIN' A LITTLE CRAZY. Dorothy: I'LL SEE YOU WHEN I COME TO LOS ANGELES. YOU CLOSED THE JOINT BANK ACCOUNT. YES. WHY? I'LL SEND YOU SOME MONEY. YOU DIDN'T ANSWER WHY? I THOUGHT IT BEST. FOR WHAT? OUR SITUATION, PAUL. I HAVE TO HANG UP NOW. NO, PLEASE DON'T HANG UP. JUST WHAT THE HELL IS OUR SITUATION? JESUS, TELL ME SOMETHING, WILL YOU? LOOK, IF YOU'VE HAD AN AFFAIR, THAT'S OK WITH ME. I UNDERSTAND. BUT THAT DOESN' MEAN THAT WE SHOULD THROW THE WHOLE MARRIAGE DOWN THE TOILET. PLEASE, DOROTHY. PLEASE TELL ME WHERE I STAND. I HAVE TO HAVE MORE FREEDOM. I WANT MORE FREEDOM. DOROTHY, YOU CAN HAVE MORE FREEDOM, HONEST. THAT'S NOT ENOUGH. THINGS CHANGE. I'M NOT THE SAME GIRL I WAS IN VANCOUVER. NO, YOU SURE AIN'T. SOUNDS LIKE YOU GOT A WRITER NOW. I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. I MEAN, I HAVE A HUNCH THAT YOU'RE SITTING ON ARAM'S KNEE RIGHT NOW, AND HE'S MOVING YOUR MOUTH. HE'S PULLING THE STRINGS! WE'LL TALK WHEN I COME IN. YOU'RE LIVING WITH HIM. I'M STAYING AT HIS HOUSE TEMPORARILY. YOU'RE LIVING WITH HIM. YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH HIM. YOU'RE FUCKING HIM. WHY DON'T YOU HAVE THE GUTS TO SAY IT? YOU'RE DOING IT. WHY CAN'T YOU SAY IT? TAKE OFF THE GODDAMN GLASSES. I'M BROKE. PAUL, I'LL TAKE CARE OF YOU. YOU KNOW THAT. EILEEN IS HERE, ISN'T SHE? LISTEN, TOO MUCH HAS HAPPENED ALREADY. I'LL CALL YOU IN A FEW DAYS. MAYBE WE CAN TALK THEN. ABOUT A DIVORCE? IS THAT WHAT YOU MEAN? YES. I COULD CHANGE. JESUS, GIVE ME A CHANCE, WILL YOU? I'LL CALL. GOD DAMN IT, HE MUST BE HAVING YOU FOLLOWED. SON OF A BITCH. I DON'T WANT YOU TO SEE HIM ANYMORE. THE WHOLE THING CAN BE HANDLED IN OTHER WAYS. PROMISE ME YOU WON'T SEE HIM ANYMORE. HE SEEMED SO SCARED. HEY, SIS, COME ON IN! PLEASE? DOROTHY, I WANT YOU TO PROMISE. OK, I PROMISE. HOW'S THE WATER? IT'S WARM. YEAH? YOU'LL PROBABLY HAVE TO LEAD HER A LITTLE. TRY AND GET HER TO TALK ABOUT ARAM. JUICY STUFF IF YOU CAN. EVEN BETTER YOU CAN GET HER TO TALK ABOU THE MANAGEMENT THING. SHE'S GONNA COME BACK. I KNOW IT. YEAH, SURE. JUST IN CASE. HE KEPT CHANGING HIS FUCKING MIND. FIRST HE SAID I COULD HAVE SOME OF HER CLOTHES, AND THEN HE SAID NO, SHE WAS COMING BACK TO HIM. DIDN'T MEAN A SHIT TO ME. MARKER. DOROTHY? SAM, I'M HERE. WELL, I JUST HAVE A FEW ERRANDS TO RUN, THEN I'LL BE BACK ABOU 2:30. I PROMISED EILEEN THAT WE'D BUY OU RODEO DRIVE THIS AFTERNOON. OH, WOW! IT'S YOU! YOU'RE IN THE TV GUIDE. I'M SORRY, ARAM. EILEEN'S GOING A LITTLE BANANAS OVER SOMETHING. I DIDN'T HEAR WHAT YOU SAID. I SAID I WON'T BE HOME TILL LATE. I'VE GOT TO STOP AT THE LAB. LOOK, IT'S YOU! JUST A SECOND. TAKE IT BACK A LITTLE. THERE, TRY IT THERE. Paul: SHE SAID, "I'LL ALWAYS TAKE CARE OF YOU." YEAH. NOW, IF YOU CAN GET HER TO REPEAT THAT... OK. PUSH THE BUTTON DOWN, WALK AROUND AND TALK. IT'S GONNA BE A DIFFERENT SHIRT. SO? WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY? ANYTHING. ANYTHING. HI, I'M PAUL SNIDER. PAUL SNIDER, HI. MORE, MORE. TESTING. 1, 2, 3, 4. TESTING. 1, 2, 3, 4. OK. YOU KNOW, WE JUST NEED TO STRAIGHTEN SOME THINGS OUT. ONCE WE SEE EACH OTHER, IT'LL BE OK. [STATIC] DAMN. DAMN THING DOESN'T WORK. HELL, WE DON'T NEED IT ANYWAY. ONCE WE SPEND SOME TIME TOGETHER, EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE FINE AGAIN. I KNOW IT. HE CALLED ME IN THE MORNING AND SAID HE WAS GOING TO SEE HER THAT DAY. IT SAYS THURSDAY AT 8 P.M. CAN WE WATCH I TOGETHER? ABSOLUTELY. WE'VE GOT A DATE. I'LL SEE YOU 2:30, OK? HE STILL HAD SOME CRAZY IDEA HE COULD PUT I ALL BACK TOGETHER AGAIN. HE VACUUMED THE RUG, HE POLISHED THE VINYL, HE CLEANED THE WHOLE HOUSE. Detective: SHE ARRIVED A LITTLE AFTER NOON. THE PLAN WAS, I WAS TO CALL IN AN HOUR OR SO TO SEE HOW IT WAS GOING. UH, WE WORKED OU A LITTLE CODE SO SHE WOULDN'T KNOW HE WAS TALKING TO ME. I TRIED TO GET THROUGH ON THE PHONE, BUT, UH... YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. I'VE BEEN DRINKING. I'M NERVOUS. I AM, TOO. LOOK AT MY HAND. THIS IS A NEW SHIRT. I MUST HAVE COMBED MY HAIR A DOZEN TIMES. I GUESS I HAD SOME CRAZY IDEA I COULD WIN YOU BACK. A REAL SCHMUCK, HUH? THERE'S NO CHANCE, IS THERE? WE HAVE SOME THINGS WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT. I KNOW. I LOVE YOU, DOROTHY. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. I CAN GIVE YOU $7,000. PLEASE COME BACK TO ME. IT'S HALF OF EVERYTHING I HAVE. LET'S MAKE I LIKE IT WAS BEFORE. PLEASE? I HAVE SOME OF IT HERE WITH ME. REMEMBER THE RING I GAVE YOU? YES. STILL HAVE IT? YES. I DON'T THINK I WANT TO GO ON LIVING WITHOUT YOU. I BOUGHT A GUN. OH, PAUL. THINGS WILL CHANGE FOR YOU. NO! WHAT? YOU MEAN MAYBE I'LL GROW UP TO BE A BIG MOVIE DIRECTOR? OR OWN A BIG MAGAZINE? IS THAT WHAT YOU MEAN? MAYBE THEN I COULD GET YOU BACK! IS THAT WHA YOU'RE SAYING? SIT DOWN! THOSE FUCKING BASTARDS! I WANT TO LEAVE. I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY. PLEASE DON'T LEAVE. I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING. PLEASE STAY JUST A MINUTE. I WON' DO THAT AGAIN. PLEASE. I HAVE BEEN WORKING MY ASS OFF ON THESE. GOD, I HOPE YOU LIKE THEM. THEY'RE A LOT BETTER THAN THE FARRAH FAWCETT ONES, AREN'T THEY? SHE SOLD 5 MILLION OF THEM IN ONE YEAR. WELL, WHICH ONE DO YOU THINK? WE COULD AT LEAST STILL BE IN BUSINESS TOGETHER. DON'T SHAKE YOUR FUCKIN' HEAD LIKE THAT AT ME! IS IT TOO SMALL-TIME FOR THE BIG MOVIE STAR, HUH? TOO TASTELESS, MAYBE? I THINK... OH HO HO! YOU THINK. I THINK THAT WE SHOULD BREAK CLEANLY. OH. I WANT IT TO BE OVER. HMM. IS THAT WHAT ARAM TOLD YOU TO SAY? AND WHAT THE FUCK IS $7,000?! YOU THINK I'M STUPID. I MAY NOT BE A HEFNER OR AN ARAM, BUT I'M NOT STUPID. NOT JUST YET, YOU DON'T! NOT UNTIL YOU TELL ME WHERE THE RES OF THE MONEY IS. WHO'S HOLDING IT FOR YOU? TELL ME! IT'S HALF. LIAR! GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE! "I'LL ALWAYS TAKE CARE OF YOU, PAUL." "I LOVE YOU, PAUL." "I OWE YOU SO MUCH, PAUL." LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! I DON'T THINK YOU'VE EVER KNOWN HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU. WELL, MAYBE NOW YOU WILL. YOU THINK I'M FAKING, DON'T YOU? YOU DON'T THINK I'D DO IT, DO YOU? YOU THINK I'M A COWARD. LET'S NOT HUR EACH OTHER ANYMORE, PLEASE. OH, PLEASE. TOO SMALL-TIME FOR YOU NOW, HUH? YOU SLEPT WITH HIM LAST NIGHT... DIDN'T YOU? ANSWER ME. DIDN'T YOU? SURE YOU DID. YOU FUCKED THE BIG DIRECTOR. WELL, NOW ME. I'LL GIVE YOU A CHANCE TO JUDGE, A CHANCE TO SEE WHO THE REAL MAN IS! AAH! STOP IT, PAUL! AAH! [CRYING] [CHUCKLES] YOU'RE GONNA DO ME A BIG FAVOR, HUH? OK. THAT'S ME... A CHARITY CASE. NOW, TRY TO THINK OF DEAR ARAM IF YOU CAN. THEY'RE KILLING ME. THEY'RE TRYING TO KILL ME. [CRYING] THOSE BASTARDS! [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS] [CLICK] [CLICK] OPERATOR, CAN YOU CHECK ON A NUMBER FOR ME? I THINK IT'S OUT OF ORDER. WHAT'S THE NUMBER, SIR? 474-5051. HOLD ON. OK. [TELEPHONE RINGS] [TELEPHONE RINGS] [RING] CAN YOU HEAR ME? [RING] THEY DID THIS. MY QUEEN. HER NAME IS BILLIE JOAN WORTH. SHE'S VERY SWEET. I WAS THINKING SHE'S A MAYBE FOR NOVEMBER. WHERE'S SHE FROM? DAVENPORT, IOWA. I LIKE HER. TV: WELL, BILL, SHE'S A TECHNICIAN FOR A PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANY WHO LIKES ALL SPORTS, READING, AND PHOTOGRAPHY. YOU WANT SUGAR? UH, A LITTLE, PLEASE. [COCKS GUN] YOU WON'T FORGE PAUL SNIDER. NOW THAT PEOPLE RECOGNIZE YOU, WHAT'S IT LIKE? OH. I'LL GO SHOPPING IN THE STORE, AND I'LL SEE PEOPLE GOING, "HEY, THAT'S DOROTHY STRATTEN." OR, "HEY, CAN WE HAVE A PICTURE OF YOU? CAN WE HAVE AN AUTOGRAPH?" OR EVEN IN THE AIRPORT, YOU KNOW, PEOPLE RUSHING UP TO ME TO GET MY AUTOGRAPH OR SOMETHING. THAT'S REALLY EXCITING FOR ME. |
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