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Star Named Ayrton Senna, A (1998)
Losing for him was already bad...
and losing against me was the worst thing that could happen to him. For him, second place was the first place for losers. He hated that. There was nothing for him but winning. He wanted to psyche his opposition to think that he was in front of them. He had to be the quickest all the time. Ayrton would enter a corner faster than he'd ever been before... and trust that something inside Ayrton Senna... would get him and the car around the corner. That's an act of trust or faith. He prepared his chance, and when it was there he took it. And when you weren't correct, no way. That was aggression. So at the end if you saw the yellow helmet, you knew you were in trouble. I always thought that he was just too intense about winning. And he actually believed that he had a God-given right to win. You think you have a limit. As soon as you touch this limit... something happens and suddenly you can go a little bit further. With the power of your mind, your determination, instinct and experience... you can fly very high. Ayrton Senna's talent, commitment and determination... carried him beyond normal boundaries. He displayed a supreme ability behind the wheel of a car... but he also demonstrated an immense depth of character... of thought and of emotion. His enormous rivalry with Alain Prost in the late 80's and early 90's... extracted every element of his genius. But if there was one area where Senna truly flew high... it was racing in the rain. His precision in the wet was just unbelievable. He felt the car so much more. In the wet you have to be very precise. You can't make any sudden moves with the steering. You got to be much more gentle. Ayrton could feel the car more than the other drivers. Looking out of my commentary box, I saw the worst weather I'd ever seen... at any race anywhere in the world. It was embarrassing to me as an Englishman... that everybody who thinks it rains all the time in England... were being proved right. Ayrton was always very fast when it was wet. And this day, he had a little bit of everything going for him... and everything against us to make us look stupid. We employed somebody for the weather forecast. And he was at the airport, close to the track at Donington. We were in permanent contact with him. So we started the race... and he was saying, not to me, but to the engineers... we were going to have a big shower. There were some drops. So I stopped for the tires, we had a few more drops and then it was dry. Every time he'd say something, the opposite happened. And I had the sad record of changing tires seven times... and six of those times were the wrong way. He was pissed off all year about having this Ford engine in his McLaren... because he wanted the championship, but he knew he wouldn't make it. All he could do was to wait for special circumstances... and then show everybody what he could do. That was such a time. He'd put into his head that he wanted to be up front in the first lap. He wanted everybody to look stupid and that's exactly what he did. They were making me hold my breath. At the best of times, you thought: I can't believe it. He can't stay like this. He's bound to go off. And there he just kept going and going. Nobody knew where anybody was. I remember the spray as he went. Everyone else was cautiously going around thinking: I better be careful. He just went: Go. And he was off. Gone. It was brilliant. But he knew he could do it. I had to go to the pits to give the trophy away... and I should've still been in hospital because of a heart problem I had. But when I got on to the podium, I forgot about being ill, I felt 18 again. To see the happy face he's got. It was unbelievable. His roots were firmly grounded in the steel-making city of So Paulo... the industrial heartland of Brazil. Here, amid the energy and bustle of South American commerce... Ayrton developed his talents on the car track at Interlagos. And began a collection of trophies that would be cherished by his family. Ayrton was a very determined man. He knew exactly what he wanted and he would go at it till he achieved it. He was very persistent. When he was a kid people used to call him stubborn. Because he would go to the limit to get what he wanted. As a child, I remember he was always training in his go-cart. He used to travel to different the carting competitions. We were always very curious to hear how he had done at the competition. And every year his results would get better. Ayrton was always very interested... in car racing. As far as I remember he was always involved in carting. Before long, cart races in Brazil and all around the world... became all too aware of the driver in the yellow helmet. I met Ayrton when he was kid driving in the carting races. I was already painting helmets for Fittipaldi, the Formula-1 champion... and for Nelson Piquet. Ayrton also wanted to have an identity of his own. I decided to give him a warm color and just like Ferrari has the color red... I made his yellow with two blue and green stripes... coming out of his eyes to suggest movement and aggression as well. I decided to use the colors of our country: green, yellow, blue and white. Ayrton loved the design and it became his trademark throughout his career. I'd known him for a long time... because we did two World Carting Championships. In Le Mans and Estoril. In '78 and '79, so this goes back to the very old days. And he was very committed. He had this look in his eyes. He was exceptionally committed, more than anybody else. We were always a very close family. So when Ayrton went to live in England, we missed each other a lot. We traveled over there often and he came here when he could... so we could be close together. He wrote often. After every race, he'd send us all the details. About every corner... and what he did and how he did it. I still have the letters. And in spite of the distance, we always remained very close. When Ayrton moved to England, he didn't speak English. So he would sit and watch television... for hours on end, trying to understand and trying to learn the language. And he couldn't cook either. He never learned. So he spent years eating fried eggs, boiled eggs, scrambled eggs... any egg dish imaginable, because that was all he knew how to cook. When Ayrton hired me back in 1984... he was very worried about his physical condition. And about his health, because he was a very skinny man. The media referred to him as Skinny Ayrton Senna. We started working together... and we recognized his determination... to become stronger and more able-bodied. He was a very persistent person... because he went all out. What made Ayrton different from the rest was that he actually did it. Because knowledge alone doesn't mean a thing. I always told him that: A wise man is not someone who knows everything. A wise man is a man who can do the things he knows. It's not simply a stronger muscle or a better tone in your muscle... but it's really the power, the strength you get... physically speaking, to your body, but also to your mind. You only really learn by doing it, I believe. Once I realized there was something special in that... I really focused and tried to learn about myself. You learn about your own limitations, about your strengths, your qualities... and, as a whole, trying to make yourself... a smoother person. I don't remember exactly, but certainly in 1983... I was very much aware of him in Formula 3 in England. He was very persistent about winning. He was already very good at it then. But also persistent about persuading Patrick Head and myself to let him test. To have his first drive in a Grand Prix Formula-1 car. That first drive came at Donington Park in England... at the wheel of the Williams FW-08C. The model that took Keke Rosberg to victory in Monaco earlier that year. Ayrton turned up, made himself comfortable in the cockpit... remembered all the instructions about what everything was for. At the time he was only halfway through his first Formula-3 season. triple the power of his usual mount. He did an out-and-straight-back-in lap to check over the car mechanically. Then he just went off a second quicker than the car'd ever been around there. And then said: I think I got enough. He got out of the car and went home. We were quite astonished. On that particular day, it was that his brain was in control of everything else. He was ahead of the game, clearly belonged in GP car. He was born for that. We weren't ready to put him in the team in '84... because of contractual obligations to other drivers. And then he went off to Lotus and then to McLaren. So it was quite a long while before we were able to offer him a seat in '94. He went to Toleman, it was fantastic to see another Brazilian driving. By instinct I was always more of a fan of Ayrton... than I was of any other Brazilian Formula-1 driver. I never saw Emerson, but I had the chance to see Nelson. With Ayrton it was different. I felt like he was driving tremendously... and that he was going to be a champ. I remember we had a discussion about top drivers like Piquet or whatever. And I said to Ron Dennis and the other people: Take the best young guy to get a very strong team and that was Ayrton. They all said: Why do you want to have Ayrton? I said: Why not? I'm thinking about the team. Having a teammate like Ayrton was very different from the old team I had. Also for Formula 1 it was really exceptional... to have two drivers of this kind of caliber. When Ayrton came into F-1, Prost was the top, number one. And he was the one he wanted to catch. He wanted to beat him. When he started testing and racing with us... he wasn't interested in anyone else in the grid, only Alain. What was his time? What rear wing has he got? What springs has he got? He just wanted to know what Alain was doing. He wanted to beat him. He was a man like no other man I had ever met before. He was almost a mystic. He was very, very, very intense. He was a charismatic personality. He could be absolutely charming, but there was another side to him. He was absolutely ruthless when he was in the cockpit. And he was an intensely religious, God-fearing man. And he actually believed that he had a God-given right to win. The main thing is to be yourself and not allow people to disturb you. To be different, because they want you to be. You gotta be yourself. Many times it's through a mistake due to your personality or character... or from interference that you get along the way... that you learn, and the main things is to learn from your mistakes and get better. I believe in the ability of focusing strongly on something... then you are able to extract even more out of it. His whole life was concentrated on winning the race, the championship. He had no family, no children, nothing... so it looks like he was living only for that. The hardest thing to do during a race is to maintain your concentration. You have to concentrate at all times... and make sure you don't have problems that can distract you from the race. You must be prepared technically... and to know what to do at the right time. And not make any technical or human mistakes. In the time when we have these sophisticated racing cars... with skirts and electronic suspension... to raise the car for the straights and lower it before the corners... you have to do many thing on the car. Obviously, any driver to take part in a car race... whether Formula 1 or another category is exposed to risks. You are aware of the risks out there. No one drives without using his head. A driver who doesn't use his head has no future. He'll have a very brief career, because he'll get hurt in an accident. This profession requires that you be fast... that you perform, that you're consistent and intelligent. As a racing driver one has to be in tune with your emotions, your body... your mind, your psychology, all these things. I think Ayrton had these qualities in abundance. And he seemed like a driver who was always questioning... what it was to be a racing driver. Once he was focused, he didn't feel any pain or stress. Nothing. He was just in another world. As we all were more or less, but he was more intense. He was a step ahead. There's a state of mind that one is raised to... where it becomes sort of transcendental. Ayrton spoke of his concentration when he was in qualifying. He talked about a state of mind he got into... whereby he was there, but not really driving the car. And these are things that are... that speak of the level of concentration that he achieved as a racing driver. You had to do these qualifying laps. You were in the box and you watched the monitors and your competitors. You talked to your engineer. How's the wind, the sun, the asphalt temperature? And then the engineer told you: Now let's go. That meant you had to switch a button... and say to yourself: I have to be fully concentrated. And actually get into another world... where everything is in slow motion. When you do a quick lap... you try to see it in slow motion to get all the fine things right. And it's kind of a dream. Everyone following F-1... recognized that Senna was the master of qualifying. If you go for a corner on qualifying tires... with extra horsepower and you've never had that all weekend... how do you anticipate how fast you can go? What the car is capable of? Ayrton would enter a corner faster than he'd ever been before... and trust that something inside Ayrton Senna... would help him and the car around the corner. Now that's an act of trust or faith or whatever you want to call it. He explored his ultimate capabilities more than any driver seemed to have. The thing with him is he was such a good driver... that he used to adapt to the car when he couldn't make the car go quicker. He could make a wheelbarrow quicker. He could make anything go quicker... because he'd change the car, but if he didn't get it to his liking... then he'd adapt to the car. How often do you have a car that's perfect? In a perfect car, Alain Prost was unbeatable. He was really good when the car suited him, but it only happened a few times. I was doing all the tests. He wouldn't test in winter, I did the testing for him. I don't think he was the best driver in setting up a car... but when it came to driving, mentally... getting the pole and being quick in one lap, he really was the best. So I don't think I learned very much, because... it's a bit easier to learn about the car and how you can improve the car... than about the mental aspect, because you can't change it just like that. The demands of Formula-1 racing are absurd. A driver has an average heartbeat of 180 per minute. It's madness. And peaks of 220 and 230 beats per minute. And although they drive an open car, the heat is terrible. So the demands on the driver are very different from other sports. It's very stressful. There were hardships, of course. We'd work out at one in the afternoon, the hottest time of the day. Because what counted in Formula 1 was that the competition was fierce. And the tougher it was, the better for him. Why? Because he was better prepared than the others, the other drivers. In those days, they didn't work on their bodies, or feelings or on their mind. That's why he became invincible. I remember when we started with meditation, he couldn't stop thinking. He found it incredibly difficult to do that. But he got so involved in the process of meditating... that sometimes he'd reach deep levels of meditation. Levels that very few people were able to attain. It helped him to improve the lap times... it helped him break records and brought him many victories. Because his concentration level was at a maximum... through meditation and by controlling his breathing. Monaco was a special place for Senna. He shot to fame by nearly winning it in his debut season. He'd go on to take victory in the principality a record 6 times. But in his first McLaren outing, Prost thought he had him. In Monaco, the weekend was not very good for him. On Thursday I was ahead of him... and Saturday I was ahead of him the whole day. Until the last qualifying lap. Where he just went real quick and he took the pole for a little bit. I couldn't imagine he'd come back like that, since he wasn't doing that well. Later he said in the press conference... that he went outside the car. And he looked at the car and saw how it was behaving on the track. He then realized what he was doing wrong and what was wrong. He came back into the car and drove the perfect lap. For me it was very difficult to hear. But, in fact, it looked like everyone needed a guy like that. He was different. I was too boring and he was different. Once you're in it, you're in it and you gotta go to the end. Because you commit yourself to such a level where there's no compromise. You give everything you have. Absolutely everything. And sometimes you find even more. Because it requires more if you want to be ahead and win. The uncanny will to win that he had I've never seen in another sportsman. I certainly haven't been connected to anybody... that had that feral determination to win. It was just like Alain Prost said: Ayrton is willing to risk that little bit more than anyone else. For him coming in second, was like the first place for losers. He hated that. There was nothing for him but winning. Losing for him was already bad... but losing against me was the worst thing that could happen. His whole motivation was to beat me. I remember we went to the Bercy Carting event. He was there watching Alain Prost driving a cart on the big screen. He never took his eyes off that. And he watched Alain Prost driving a cart. He knew that to be world champion he had to beat Alain, who was number 1. I remember one race, Ayrton always used to try so hard in qualifying... that before he took off his overalls, he'd sit in a corner of the truck... to get his adrenaline levels back down. Alain and I looked at the times, and Alain couldn't believe he was so quick. Where is he beating me? Not here, I'm quick here. How is he beating me? And I said: Look at Ayrton. He was sitting there, he looked up and winked. And I thought he just felt so satisfied. 'I have beaten Alain, and he knows I'm quicker. ' For him that was the stage in his career where he thought: Now I can begin to think about becoming world champion. When Ayrton came along, his approach was in many ways similar. It was cerebral, meaning he used his head at all times. But he did so with more dash and determination than you saw in Alain. Alain had plenty of determination, but never exposed it. Ayrton was all about drive and courage. 'Let's go for it, leave the rest to me. ' Formula-1 drivers, all sportsmen, are very competitive. They're there to win. And you had two very different people in: Alain Prost, the Professor... who was quiet, very quiet. Always spoke very quietly indeed. Very, very smooth, very experienced... up against Senna from South America with a very different temperament. So it couldn't have been better from a commentator's point of view. The fight that we were fighting so hard... was putting the performance of the car and the team on a very high level. If you talk about the briefings, we were spending 3, 4, 5 hours in the briefing. It was for two reasons: First to improve the car and the team. The second reason was to be sure that we could not forget something... that could suit us, or suit me better than Ayrton. Or Ayrton would want something that suited him better. At the end, it became a psychological game. There was no way I would leave the briefing before Ayrton. And Ayrton couldn't leave before me anyway. So we'd go out together. I waited for four and a half hours outside the motor home... while they were having this minute discussion about this or that. And then the door opened and Alain Prost came out. He came down the steps and I said: Alain, in God's name, what do you talk about in there for 4.5 hours? And he said: Oh, Murray, about this and that. But I don't like to be the first to leave. The intense nature of the battle between the McLaren teammates... led to a deterioration in their personal relationship. Other drivers weren't at the same level... so Senna and Prost focused on one another both in and out of the car. That was part of the fight we had. Everything was tough. On or off the track, setting up the car, everything. It was really at the limit. We also knew that if we were quick and fast and had a winning car... it was also because of us, because of the drivers. We were dominating Formula One. It's not pretentious to say that. I think Ayrton and Alain needed each other very much. In order for them... to develop their own capablities to the fullest. Their rivalry helped them to reach that level of excellence. Ayrton wouldn't be who he was without Alain Prost and vice versa. And Alain Prost wouldn't have been that good without Ayrton. One time they asked Ayrton if he had any enemies. And he gave one of the most beautiful answers... he had ever given in any of his countless interviews. He said that life was too short to have enemies. And life can be shorter still, like in his case. That statement is so true. Like when they said that he and Alain were enemies, which wasn't true. So for situations like that, his statement was just perfect. When you're under a lot of pressure in a particular championship or race... it's the one that can put together... the combination of aggression and calculation... that will get the best result. More than anything you need a very clear mind... to understand when to be aggressive and when to be calculating. To win a championship, you need the combination of those elements... in the right dose at given moments. Ayrton Senna's lifestyle was that of the rich and famous. Beautiful houses, lots of toys and opportunities to relax. His love for Brazil and its people was reflected in how they felt about him. He was idolized by the ordinary people in the street and he still is today. Great, extraordinary. Pity he left us at such a young age. -It's Ayrton. It really is. Look, it's really him. For us he was the best in world. We miss him and it's a huge loss for sports in Brazil. He brought us joy on Sundays. We'd get so excited during his races. He was a great driver. He gave us lots of enjoyment. There'll never be another driver like him. He's so handsome. He represented everything to us. He brought us glory, he had everything. It's an honor for any Brazilian to have a picture in memory of him. I think he was one of the best Brazilians in the world... and everyone should honor him because he's the best. Even now. He gave us some of the best weekends here in Brazil. To me he's a great athlete, a great human being and an example to us all. I get all choked up when I see him. He represents a lot to me. I miss him very much. Despite the access Ayrton had to his own slice of paradise... he always knew that many Brazilians battled not for championships... but simply to put food on the table and a roof overhead. And it mattered to him more than many people knew. In the second year I stayed with him in Brazil. We drove through the favelas, the slums. And you see the poverty there... while you work with someone who has his own plane and what not. I asked him: Doesn't it bother you when you see things like this? And I noticed that it was an awkward moment in the conversation. He said: It definitely bothers me. The corruption, the problems, the people. It angers and saddens me when I see how much these people suffer. But I'm not strong and powerful enough yet to change anything. It showed what direction this man wanted to go in. The races, the speed and going to the limit... were only a bridge, a vehicle, a vessel... to get him where he wanted to go. It was a process he was going through. The best remembrance I had... was when I stayed with him that weekend in his farmhouse. We had a storm and the lights and the telephone went out of order. I needed to phone my wife, who was in Scotland. So we went out and we found a telephone box. I phoned my wife and he went outside. It was dark. He was standing under a street lamp and some kids recognized him. By then he had 20 or 30 children around him. He was chatting to them and signing autographs. When I came out of the telephone box... That's one of the sweetest memories I have of him. Standing there with the light playing on his head and shoulders... surrounded by the kids and being so nice to them. Two months before the accident... Ayrton told me he wanted to do something for kids and young people. He asked me to think about it and we'd talk again later. We never had that second talk. Two months later he had that accident. My family and I decided to go ahead with the idea. To plant the seed he left behind and create the Ayrton Senna Institute. He was given the opportunity and he wanted to share that. Most Brazilian children don't get this opportunity. The opportunity of an education, and better health care... the opportunity for a better future and of hope. What made Ayrton stand out amongst Grand Prix drivers... was that he knew there was something else outside Formula 1. And I think he made that his mission in Formula 1... to build a platform so that he could express how he felt about humanity... and things to do with people. Maybe his approach within Formula 1 was ruthless sometimes... maybe not humanitarian even. But there's no question that he felt a deep empathy with mankind... and with the problems in the world. We are made of emotions. We're all looking for emotions basically. It's only a question of finding the way to experience them. There are many different ways to experience them. Perhaps one thing, one particular thing that Formula 1 can provide you... is that you know you're always exposed to danger. Danger of getting hurt, danger of dying. Travel was a major factor in Senna's life. To ease the strain, he acquired his own aircraft... and employed the services of a pilot. Over a period of 4.5 years... Owen O'Mahony got to know his employer extremely well. We often went back and forth to Brazil. We'd leave So Paulo at 10:30 at night... and Ayrton would lay out the bed in the back, go to sleep in his pajamas... and at 7:00 in the morning, I'd go back in the cabin to wake Ayrton up. We'd land in England at about eight in the morning... and he'd be as fresh as a daisy and we were totally shattered. My compliment to him... is to say that he was big enough to be little, if you understand what I mean. In April 1994, Owen flew Senna to Imola for the San Marino Grand Prix. Ayrton always considered the circuit at Imola as his home ground. Starting in '84, Senna captured the pole position eight times in ten years. First with Lotus... then during the incredible series with McLaren... and finally with Williams. In his last race here he captured the pole position hands down. He never stayed in Imola... but in Castel San Pietro. He always stayed in the same hotel there. It had a helipad. He liked to fly over the circuit sometimes. The name of the hotel was Hotel Castello. He was a very simple man. He was kind, he mostly kept to himself. He often requested to have dinner in the restaurant... and he always requested a table in the back, away from the other guests. The whole weekend was terrible. First there was the accident of Rubens Barrichello... and the day after Roland Ratzenberger. Ayrton had only met him the day before, because this was his first Grand Prix. He was very upset about it. The team manager for Ratzenberger arrived. So I had to tell the team manager what had happened... and Senna was standing alongside me when I did. The team manager went away and Ayrton got very upset. He cried a bit. I said to him: You've been world champion three times... you're the fastest man in the world... and you like fishing. So I said: Why don't you quit and I'll quit and we just go fishing? If you asked him a difficult question, he wouldn't answer immediately. You could see him thinking how he would deal with that suggestion. Finally he said: Sid, I can't quit. And I suggested he didn't drive that weekend. And he said: But I've got to, I've got to drive tomorrow. He said: There's no way that I can stop driving at the moment. A special hello to my dear... our dear friend Alain. We all miss you a lot. In the morning we had TV coverage. And I was doing my job. Then we looked at Ayrton's commentary. The first thing he says is not about corners or gears... but he said: First hello to Alain. Alain, I miss you. That was live. And they broadcast it in the morning and before the race. And again, people saw that. So this odd sort of friendship we had... was a little bit hidden by all the fights we had. In the last two weeks, we were good but in a strange way also. The last thing I remember when he was alive was... As a Ferrari driver, the Italians have a special way of celebrating you. When they announced my name, the Italians were jumping and shouting. I was just in front of his car, and he was looking at me and laughing. You really could see that we were friends. It was an honest love. He was happy when something went well for me. That was the last time I really looked in his eyes and we saw each other. There were many heavy accidents before. I had a very big accident in '89, I nearly died there. A day later Ayrton phoned me in the hospital to ask how I was. I said I was OK.. but that corner was very dangerous. Someone could die there someday. It was too dangerous. We were just talking a bit. Months later we went to test in Imola. Ayrton and I said: This corner should be changed. We walked to this corner and we looked how it could be changed. We looked over the wall and Ayrton says: Look, you can't. There's a river behind it, so you can't move the wall. And we looked at each other and said: We can't move the wall, that's it. And we walked back. That was the exact spot where he died. It was the worst day in the history of Formula 1... because although many drivers were killed in Formula 1... before Ayrton Senna none of them were as famous. None of them were respected and idolized worldwide like Senna was. And the impact of Senna's death on Formula 1 in particular... motor racing in general and the world at large... was something that had never happened before. It has never happened since and I pray it never happens again. The Imola circuit witnessed the loss of one the greats in Formula 1. But memories of Senna will never fade. Across the world, his spirit lives on. I have the feeling that he's close by. I can't explain it. But I can feel it. I'm sure that he's close by. We have this thing about death where we can't talk about it or think about it. Our society rejects death. It happened ten years ago now... but the feeling is deeper and more intense. Things come up in our collective consciousness... that we were in danger of forgetting, like his tenderness. That he was a very simple man, which is what impressed me the most. And one of his nicer qualities: His humility. Ayrton said one time... that the rich can't go on living on an island... surrounded by a sea of misery. We all breathe the same air. So we have to give children and young people a fundamental chance in life. Ayrton and I shared that vision. It sprouted from our family. The family raised us with these values. They taught us to respect other people... and that it's important that we pass on these opportunities to others. To value and respect them. And to be responsible. We are all jointly responsible for our own country. In the 10 years we've been active, we've been working for 10 years now... we've helped 3,930,000 children and young people all over the country. It's because I had, first of all, a good opportunity in life... to grow properly, to live well, to live a healthy life. I learned a lot. And I was led, at the key moments, in the right direction, I believe. |
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