Nell Wayne.
Hey, that's the dame you're looking for.
- Yeah.
- Not bad, not bad.
I see what you mean.
Come on, let's find the one
that's breathing.
Hey, bud,
where can we find Nell Wayne?
On-stage, 9:OO tonight.
We wanna see her now.
- The corporal here is a friend of Nelly's.
- Oh, that's great.
When she steps out of her limousine,
he can wave to her.
Look, pal, you don't get it.
They're both from Youngstown, Ohio.
They've been like that
since they were kids.
My, what an uncomfortable position
for both of them.
"My, what an uncomfor..."
I'd like to hit him a shot...
Look, Mike, I wish you'd stop
telling people...
...that Nell Wayne and I
are like this:
- Why?
- Because we're not even like that:
- We don't even know each other.
- You came from the same town.
- You went to the same school.
- Your father was even her dentist.
But he was a lot of people's dentist.
- Did he fix your teeth?
- Well, sure.
What more do you want?
Your pivot tooth and hers
can talk over old times.
- Oh, I don't know.
- Hey, there's Ruth Roman.
Hey, you can't go in there.
RICK:
Thanks and we'll see you tonight.
- All right, Miss Roman.
- Miss Roman?
- I'd like to ask you a question.
- Well, sure.
How do you feel about love?
Oh, what is this?
The Air Force conducting a survey?
No, ma'am.
But I've got a buddy outside...
Excuse us, will you, pal?
Miss Roman, Corporal Rick Williams,
United States Air Force.
- Hi, Rick.
- Hello.
- So you're from Youngstown?
- Yes, ma'am.
Does Nell know you're in town?
- No, ma'am.
- Good, we'll surprise her then. Come on.
- Where are we going?
- To the hotel.
They're all over there.
I've already explained we can't stay
more than three or four days.
Look, Miss Roman, do you think
we ought to barge in like this?
Look, if I were like that with somebody
and he didn't come to see me...
...l'd never forgive him.
Sorry.
Someday I hope to have the pleasure
of knocking you down in person.
- [SINGING] You're gonna lose your gal
- [SINGING] You're gonna lose your gal
- You don't know who's your gal
- You don't know who's your gal
You're acting like a two-time lover
Keepin' kisses undercover
- You'll wake up and soon discover
- You'll wake up and soon discover
- You're gonna lose your gal
- You're gonna lose your gal
You're gonna fret away
You're gonna fret away
- You're bound to get that way
- You're bound to get that way
Oh, how can you be so conceited?
Take her heart
And then you mistreat it
- You can't have your cake and eat it
- You can't have your cake and eat it
- You're gonna lose your gal
- You're gonna lose your gal
- And when she's gone
- And when she's gone
She won't come back
She won't come back
They don't come back
Won't come back
Once they're gone
- You're gonna be surprised
- You're gonna be surprised
You never realized
You never realized
That someone else can treat her nicer
Someone else can shoes-and-rice her
- Someone else will paradise her
- Someone else will paradise her
- You're gonna lose your gal
- You're gonna lose your gal
- And when she's gone
- And when she's gone
She won't come back
She won't come back
They don't come back
Won't come back
- Once they're gone
- Once they're gone
You're gonna find someday
The gal went thataway
Now you forgot to analyze her
With your love, you've been a miser
- Tomorrow you'll be sad but wiser
- Tomorrow you'll be sad but wiser
- You're gonna lose your gal
- You're gonna lose your gal
- You're gonna lose
- You're gonna lose
- You're gonna lose
- You're gonna lose
- You're gonna lose your gal
- You're gonna lose your gal
GORDON: Well, hello there.
DORIS: Hi.
Wipe the egg off your face,
it's only Doris Day.
And the fella, if you care,
is Gordon MacRae.
Thank you very much, Roman.
- Hello, corporal.
- Hi.
Sergeant.
Gee, Mr. MacRae,
I certainly am glad to meet you.
Play your cards right,
I can get you into pictures.
- Yeah?
- Second balcony next to me.
- Who buys the popcorn?
- Depends on who buys the tickets.
The boys are friends of Nell's.
Where is she?
She's antique shopping in Chinatown
with Jimmy Cagney.
- Can you picture that?
- I got out of it...
...because I promised the producer
I'd take the boat ride to Alcatraz.
What's your hurry? The excursion boat
doesn't leave for an hour yet.
I wanna make sure
he got me a roundtrip ticket.
Well, so long, fellas.
- So long.
- Come on, fellas, sit down.
Well, as long as Nell isn't here,
I guess we better be getting along.
RUTH: Look, if you boys
don't wanna wait...
...why don't you come backstage
at the theater?
Oh, we're due back at the base at 6.
Yes. We're shoving off tonight.
Overseas.
RUTH:
Well...
...Nell would never forgive us if
we let you get away without seeing her.
You guys look pretty hungry.
How about having a bite to eat, huh?
- Oh, no, we couldn't...
- Sure we could.
As of now, we've just canceled
a previous engagement...
...that we didn't have.
Fine.
Room service?
You know, Doris,
I saw your first picture 47 times.
Forty-seven times?
- Did you, really?
- Yeah.
Hey, Ruth, meet the new president
of the Doris Day Fan Club.
Yep, 47 times. All on account
of a little difference of opinion...
...between me and a general.
- What was that?
He had influence
and the first thing I know...
...l'm crew chief of a movie projector
at the base theater.
Forty-seven times I had to run off
that picture of yours.
Thanks a lot.
Your picture was in English.
You shoulve seen those foreign things
they sent us.
There was one French film with English
titles across the bottom of the screen?
Well, anyway, this girl, this French girl
was standing in her boudoir.
And this French guy,
he comes into the boudoir...
...he looks at her and he says:
[SPEAKING NONSENSE WORDS]
Then the English title comes across
the bottom of the screen.
He said, "How's your mother?"
[WOMEN LAUGHING]
He doesn't do so good
with the dialogue...
...but he certainly remembers
all the action.
Oh, I don't know about that.
I remember dialogue too.
In the middle of Jimmy Cagney's picture
White Heat, the sound went off.
I raced to the screen,
took over for Cagney...
...and nobody even knew
the difference. Listen.
[IMITATING CAGNEY]
Pardo...
...l've been watching you.
So far, you ain't done anything
I can put my finger on.
But maybe that's what bothers me.
I don't know you
and what I don't know, I don't trust.
To me, you're just a number and a face.
We'll keep it that way.
When I need your advice, I'll ask for it.
Now look here, pal.
I don't like people going on imitating me,
you understand? I don't like it.
I'm not imitating you.
Since when is there a law against
people talking like this?
Well, you know, there ought to be?
And between us, one of us is very bad.
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Oh, I don't know.
I think you do it even better than I do.
Had a little more practice.
DORIS: Jimmy, where's Nell?
- Shopping.
Somebody should have warned me.
That kid is headed
for Antiques Anonymous.
Jimmy, meet Mike Nolan
and Rick Williams.
- Mike. Rick.
- Hello, Mr. Cagney.
Sarge, you ever go shopping
with a dame?
No, I usually go shopping for them.
Clever boy. I'll see you around.
RUTH: Bye, Jimmy.
DORIS: Bye, Jim.
- Say, Mr. Cagney?
- Yeah, son.
There's something I've wanted to ask.
- What is it?
- I've noticed in a lot of your pictures...
...before you're gonna hit a guy...
...you walk up
and you do something like this:
Oh, you mean... this?
Yeah, that's right.
Why do you do that?
That's simple.
No belt.
- So long, son.
- So long, Mr. Cagney.
Say, he's quite a guy, isn't he?
Hey, I forgot to give him
my autograph.
Sit down,
you're making the place look shabby.
Nell should be here any minute.
Yeah, if you don't mind,
I think I'll wait for her in the elevator.
Sit down, relax.
Well, I really didn't wanna meet her
like this.
Well, why didn't you say so?
He wants to meet her alone.
We can fix that.
We can wait in the next room.
- Come on.
- Sure.
Hey, Mike. Don't you leave me too.
What do you want me to stay here for?
I mean, after all, that's silly.
I don't even know the girl.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Where is everybody?
- In there.
- Oh.
I guess you don't remember me.
Should I?
Gosh, you sure look different.
Different from what?
From when you were a pompom girl.
- A pompom girl?
- Yeah, back in Youngstown High.
Oh!
You'll have to forgive me, corporal.
It was a long time ago.
So you're from Youngstown.
Yeah, I'm Rick Williams.
Yes?
My father was your dentist.
Oh, really?
Gee...
...your teeth sure turned out beautiful.
Thank you.
Dad still keeps your pictures
in his office.
Those before and after things?
Just to show
what a wonderful job braces can do.
How nice.
Yeah.
Well, it's been nice
seeing you again, corporal.
Well, how's your father?
He's fine.
Youngstown sure misses your family.
Why, you can't get a good malt
in the old town anymore.
That's too bad.
The fella that took over
your father's shop?
Well, he cut the ice cream down
to one scoop.
If you'll excuse me, corporal,
I have a few things to do.
- Goodbye.
- Bye.
Hi, Nell. I'm Rick's buddy.
If you're looking for Doris and Ruth,
they're getting gussied up.
Hey, you better hurry up.
We haven't got much time.
NELL: Would somebody tell me
what this is all about?
Waiting for you made the boys late.
So we're driving them back
to Travis Air Base.
NELL:
But how can we?
- What about the premiere?
- We'll be back.
That's why we're dressing now
so we can go straight to the theater.
Suppose we have a flat tire
or something?
Kids, I can't be late. I've gotta tape
an interview with Louella Parsons.
Honey, Rick's going overseas tonight.
Maybe he didn't tell you.
But I don't even know him.
He didn't know me
until just a few minutes ago.
Doris and I guessed that an hour ago.
But he's been reading your publicity.
And besides,
his father was your dentist.
You two have a lot in common.
Here, climb into this.
MAN 1: Travis tower to 95O4,
into left-hand traffic runway, 2-1 left.
Altimeter 3O1 O.
MAN 2 [O VER RADIO]:
9504, roger out.
MAN 3 [O VER RADIO]:
Travis tower 4682, turning base.
MAN 1: Travis tower to 4682, base leg,
check turning final.
[HORN HONKING]
- What's the trouble, Collins?
- Movie stars, sir.
And I can't let them in.
What a pity.
Anything I can do?
We've driven all the way
from San Francisco.
Can't we see the boys take off?
Well, I think under the circumstances,
that can be arranged.
- Thanks.
- Gee, thank you, sir.
Collins...
...give the girls a visitor's pass.
- I'll be responsible.
- Yes, sir.
Thank you, Collins.
- Say, how about some autographs?
DORIS: On the way out.
Thanks, captain.
Here I am in a convertible
with three beautiful babes.
I should do what any red-blooded
American boy would do in this spot.
What's that?
Go over the hill.
RICK: We'll only be a minute.
- It's all right, don't hurry.
DORIS: Well, at least we know
all about Youngstown.
- I had to talk about something.
- I've gotta give you credit, Nell.
For a gal who was roped into something,
you certainly carried the ball.
If I took his mind off going to war
even for a minute, I'm glad I came.
You really fixed things up this time.
Yeah, that's gratitude.
Movie stars out there to wave us
goodbye and you're beefing.
Yeah, but they think
we're flying off to war.
And so we are.
We're just not going all the way.
How am I gonna tell Nell
I'll be back in two days?
That all we do is fly back and forth
between here and Honolulu.
We might just as well be hostesses
for TWA.
Listen, buster, every quale in the world
is looking for a pet hero to adopt.
If you tell her,
you'll only make her unhappy.
So don't tell her.
Who knows?
You might even marry her.
Then she could send us an allotment.
Hey, buster,
you forgot your swimming trunks.
Well, this is it, girls.
They won't let you go any farther
but you can watch from over there.
MAN [O VER SPEAKERS]:
Your attention, please.
Alerting Military Air Transport
Flight 77.
All personnel,
report to passenger terminal...
... and stand by for call.
I guess that's our load.
Forty-eight hours from now...
...they'll be at the front.
Attention, transport control.
Passengers for Flight 30
now proceeding to aircraft.
In a picture once, I played a scene
where I told a soldier goodbye.
Now that it's real...
...I don't quite know what to say.
Well, I'll be back.
I'm sure you will.
Here's something I want you to wear
for good luck.
My mother gave it to my father
during the First World War.
I can't get it off.
Hurry it up, will you, Rick?
This is no time to twist the girl's arm.
Don't move.
I wanna remember you
just as you are now.
It's a picture I'll carry with me
wherever I go...
...and as long as I'm away.
Stop being corny, Mike.
You can kiss us goodbye.
- I can?
- Yeah.
One at a time or both together?
Oh, brother, this is...
MAN 1: Are you Ruth Roman?
- Yeah, Ruth Roman, we're...
MAN 2: Aren't you Doris Day?
MIKE: Take it easy.
MAN 3: Can I have your autograph?
MIKE: Hey.
All right, come on, break it up,
will you?
All right. Come on.
Back to your barracks, then.
Attention. Get... Fellas.
Hey.
- Sergeant Nolan?
- Yes, sir.
- Your flight is making up.
- Yes. In a minute, sir.
You're late already. Get going.
Yes, sir.
RUTH:
Well, I think that's very funny.
Seems my prize package
has been discovered, colonel.
Proves you're a man of ideas,
chaplain.
And good ones.
Men. Men, your flight's making up.
I think you'd better shove off.
- Sorry.
DORIS: Thank you.
- I'm sorry, bye.
- Bye-bye.
Good luck.
Oh, this is Colonel Callan,
our base commander.
- Miss Day.
- How do you do?
- Hello.
- Miss Roman.
- Nice to meet you.
- And Miss Wayne.
- How are you?
- Hello.
- We were sort of surrounded.
- Yes, I can see that.
Say, before the word gets around...
...and everybody in the terminal
comes out...
...suppose we all go over there.
- All right.
- All right.
Those guys sure messed things up.
Nell was gonna give me
a good luck charm.
Oh, that's nothing.
Ruth and Doris were about to kiss me.
Their four lips against my two.
Oh, what beautiful odds.
Your attention, please.
All personnel,
Military Air Transport Flight 92...
... report to Gate 1 immediately.
Your attention, please.
The overseas transports fly in
and out of here around the clock.
There's always a constant flow of men
to fill them.
You mean this isn't unusual?
No, it's pretty much the picture
any hour of the night or day.
RUTH:
Where will their next stop be?
Well, their destination
is the closest airfield to the front.
Two days from now, they'll be ready
to go into action with their units.
This waiting around to move out
is the one thing that gets them down.
There's nothing to do but just wait.
The hours drag
and they get pretty bored.
[PLAYING PIANO]
We even rigged this up.
Don't stop.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Hello.
- Gee, it sounds wonderful.
- Thank you.
That left hand sounds like it came from
a way down yonder in New Orleans.
- No, ma'am. Hoboken, New Jersey.
RUTH: Oh?
Now you know that all good jazz
comes from Hoboken, New Jersey.
What was the name of that?
Oh, that was just a little thing
I sort of whipped up for myself.
- Well, don't just sit there. Un-whip it.
- All right.
Hi, fellas.
Look, this whole thing
is a surprise to us.
We didn't come prepared.
But we do have Doris Day.
How would you like to hear her
do a number?
Well, Hoboken,
what do we both know, huh?
MAN [O VER SPEAKERS]:
Attention, please.
All military personnel
for Special Flight 18...
... will depart on Flight 92.
Report to Gate 1 immediately.
That's me. I guess they just won't leave
without me.
I'm sorry, Miss Day.
- You mean you have to go right now?
- I sure do. I'm glad to have met you.
Report to Gate 1 immediately.
Goodbye, good luck.
Anybody here play piano?
MAN: You don't need a piano.
- Well, I need something.
Hey, what's in the jukebox,
my friend?
- How about "'S Wonderful?"
- It's wonderful.
["'S WONDERFUL" PLAYS
ON JUKEBO X]
[SINGING]
Wonderful
It's marvelous
You should care for me
It's awful nice
It's paradise
It's what I love to see
You've made my life so glamorous
You can't blame me
For feeling amorous
Oh, it's wonderful
It's marvelous
That you should care for me
My dears, it's four-leaf clover time
From now on
My heart's workin' overtime
Oh, it's wonderful
It's so marvelous
That you should care for me
It's wonderful, marvelous, glorious
It's glamorous
That you should care for me.
MAN:
Your attention, please.
All personnel for Flight 77,
report to Gate 3 immediately.
- Your attention, please.
- Seventy-seven is Rick's flight.
We didn't even get a chance
to say goodbye.
Let's talk to the colonel.
I'm sure he can fix it.
- Yeah.
- Fine thing.
First my piano player,
then my audience walks out.
You know, I feel like
a second lieutenant up here.
Things ain't bad enough.
Now I gotta airlift those same guys...
...that fouled up
the most beautiful day of my life.
For 2 cents, I'd go back there
and really tell them off.
Here's a nickel.
- Oh, I don't wanna make a profit.
MAN 1: Come on, come on, let's go.
MAN 2:
Fireguard on Number 3.
MAN 1:
Start Number 3.
It happens every time
we start an engine.
Here.
Ready to taxi.
MAN 3: The colonel
wants Corporal Rick Williams.
Only take a minute.
Williams.
Hey, Williams.
- Get moving, the colonel wants you.
- Oh, yes, sir.
Hey, that's them.
- They must wanna see me too, sir.
- Say, you made a fast recovery.
Girls work better on me
than Dramamine.
Yeah, well just lie down again, Rover,
nobody asked for you.
Oh, skipper.
I almost missed you. In another minute,
you'd have been gone.
Well, gee, is this plane
being held up for me?
Well, us, with a little help
from Colonel Callan.
I couldn't let you get away
without this.
- I know it'll bring you luck.
MAN 1: Hey, what are you waiting for?
Stop stalling, Romeo, kiss her.
Come on, corporal,
you're holding up the war.
- Once for me, corporal.
MAN 2: Kiss her.
What are you waiting for?
- You want her to show you how?
- I think I know what they wanna see.
MAN 3: Hey.
MAN 4: Hey, Rick.
Hey, Rick.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Bye. Write me.
Tower to 77.
Runway 2-1, right, cleared for takeoff.
Where's that one from?
CALLAN:
Same place the other one left for.
Sort of like Grand Central Station,
isn't it?
CALLAN:
In a way.
The planes go out
carrying troops to the war zone.
Then they come back as hospital ships,
bringing the wounded home.
You've just told
some of the boys goodbye.
- How about telling some hello?
- Okay.
- Hi, colonel.
- Hello there.
- Don't remember me, do you?
- You do look familiar to me.
A week ago today, I was on the carpet
in your office.
Say, send that blond WAC around
and I'll apologize to her.
Hi, babes.
Drop up and see me sometime.
And I thought I was doing him a favor
by not putting him in the guardhouse.
- Well, hello.
- Well, hello. Welcome to California.
I sure am getting around.
Day before yesterday,
they put this cast on my arm in Tokyo.
- Really?
- But what am I doing in Hollywood?
- Oh, this isn't Hollywood.
- What are you doing here?
We're the reception committee.
Hey, here's something even
the draft board didn't even promise us.
You're only dreaming, boys, it isn't so.
Come on, over to the ambulance.
Seems as if we're snafuing the airlift.
See you fellas later.
Oh, colonel.
If John Wayne's up here,
have him see me later.
Colonel, what happens to them now?
Tomorrow or the next day...
...we'll fly them to the general hospital
that's closest to their homes.
That's the toughest waiting there is.
That waiting to get home.
It's a pity you have to get back
to San Francisco.
There are 3OO boys at that hospital
who didn't get a chance to see you.
- I'll flip you to see who calls the theater.
- I'll do it and I'll square you with Louella.
We're on.
MAN:
Right in here, boys.
Yeah, I think this spot's
about as good as any.
Set them up as soon as possible.
The girls will be along any minute.
Hey, what goes, sir?
Company's coming.
Female. And pretty.
Better get through with that shave.
Girls?
Hey, nurse.
Just a minute.
Mom, there's nothing to be
upset about.
Tomorrow, they're flying me
to an army hospital in Philadelphia.
I'll call you and you can come
and see for yourself.
Mom, will you let me talk to Joe?
Joe, will you please calm her down?
Now, don't you start it.
I tell you I'm okay.
CALLAN:
All right, fellas, here they are.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Holy mackerel.
Just drift around. You won't have
any trouble getting acquainted.
Joe? Doris Day's coming
straight at my bed.
No, I'm not out of my head.
My brother thinks I'm seeing things.
- Would you say hello to him for me?
- Sure.
Hi.
This is Doris Day. Honest, it is.
Well? Oh.
He doesn't even believe you.
He says if you're Doris Day,
you'll have to prove it.
- Do you have to pay for this call?
- San Francisco newspaper pays for them.
Okay.
[SINGING] Come on along and listen
To the lullaby of Broadway
The hip hooray and ballyhoo
The lullaby of Broadway
Convinced?
He says for me to get off the line,
he wants to talk to you.
Hi, Joe.
Wait till they see that in Omaha.
- Thanks, Miss Roman.
- You may call me Ruth.
Okay, Ruth. May I have your autograph,
Miss Wayne?
Sure.
- Do you know Jimmy Cagney?
- Mm-hm.
The quicker
you get this cast off your arm...
...the quicker I'll get
his autograph for you. Deal?
- You bet. Thanks.
- You're welcome.
Nurse.
Oh, nurse.
Hello, can I help?
You can remind that nurse that 1 O
minutes ago, she started to shave me.
She looks pretty busy.
Say, maybe I can give you
the once over lightly.
- Oh, you don't have to, Miss Roman.
- Quiet. I hear you're a big tipper.
Well, how do you like it? Close?
Oh, just as close as possible.
[SINGING]
You, you and you and you
Ought to be in pictures
You're wonderful to see
You ought to be in pictures
Oh, what a hit you would be
Your voice would thrill a nation
Your face would be adored
You'd make a great sensation
With wealth and fame your reward
And if you should kiss
The way you kiss
When we are all alone
You'd make every girl and man a fan
Worshipping at your throne
You ought to shine as brightly
As Jupiter and Mars
You ought to be in pictures
My star of stars
'Cause you do something to me
Something that simply mystifies me
Tell me why should it be
You have the power to hypnotize me
Let me live 'neath your spell
Do do that
voodoo that
You do so well
For you
Do something to me
That nobody else could do
That nobody else could do
- We thank you girls for coming up.
- We loved it.
I don't have to tell you the effect your
visit had on the morale of those boys.
The boys did something
for our morale too.
- Think you could come up again?
- We have to.
We had a ward and six rooms to go
when they called lights out.
- I promised we'd be back.
- How soon?
- Hm. I'm in the middle of a picture.
- Oh, dear, so am I.
Well, I'm not.
As I pass the word around, there'll be
others who'll want to come up with me.
Good.
You do the word-passing tomorrow.
Saturday morning, I'll have a plane at
Lockheed Airport at 9:3O to fly them up.
That's kind of short notice, isn't it?
The Air Force thrives on short notice.
You get them, we'll fly them.
Okay, colonel, we'll get them.
[SINGING]
What is this thing
Called love?
This funny thing called love
[SINGING]
Just who can solve its mystery?
Why should it make a fool of me?
I saw you there one wonderful day
You took my heart and threw it away
- That's why I ask the Lord
- That's why I ask the Lord
- In heaven above
- In heaven above
- What is this thing called love?
- What is this thing called love?
And then I saw you there
One wonderful day
You took my heart and threw it away
- That's why I ask the Lord
- That's why I ask the Lord
- In heaven above
- In heaven above
- What is this thing called love?
- What is this thing called love?
Cut.
Very good, kids, very good.
- Okay?
- Fine. Perfect.
- Can I play golf?
- Finish your game and go to brothers.
Okay, thanks. I'll be right back.
- I've gotta see how Ruth is doing.
- You and Gene are in the next shot.
- Okay.
- Fine.
- Got a cigarette, pappy?
- Right.
Look, Mr. Norris, if we have to phone
everybody on the casting directory...
...we're going to load that plane
tomorrow morning.
And I'm not gonna
disappoint the boys.
Because I promised Colonel Callan
we'd be up there.
Oh, Ruth, I wish you'd stop making me
out a heel.
The whole purpose of our committee
is to supply talent for camp shows.
But there's a set procedure for it.
First, they make an official request.
- Then we check it.
NELL: Mr. Norris.
There isn't time to check it.
We made a promise.
And we intend to keep it.
So in my book,
you still add up to a heel.
Miss Riley, your boss, Louella Parsons,
got me into this.
Get her on the phone
and have her explain the facts of life.
Louella's on their side. And so am I.
And what's more, both of us
wanna be counted in on the trip.
Louella was right when she said
this adds up to a much bigger story...
...than Nell being in love
with a soldier.
- Where did she get that idea?
- Honey, Louella's a reporter.
When a girl in this town
ducks out on her first premiere...
...to say goodbye to a hometown boy,
it must be love.
Oh, I shoulve guessed
there was a romance.
- Congratulations, Nell.
- Thank you.
Nell, now that Mr. Norris
knows the true story...
...see if you can break him down.
I'm waiting for Mr. Norris to say yes.
- Hello, colonel.
- Thought you were shooting today.
Wouldn't do much good.
The cast decided to come.
- It's nice to see you again.
- Nice to see you.
Meet Patrice Wymore.
- How do you do?
- Hello there, so nice to meet you.
Colonel Callan, this is Gordon MacRae.
- How are you, colonel?
- Glad to meet you.
This group is really gonna set
the boys whistling.
Well, the all-girl band was Pat's idea.
- I hope the boys enjoy the show.
- I'm sure they will.
Hey, I think I'll do
a little whistling myself.
You know something?
I might join you.
[BOTH WHISTLE]
[CHUCKLING]
[SINGING]
Listen to my story
About a gal named Liza
Liza, skies are gray
But if you smile on me
All the clouds'll roll away
Liza, Liza, don't delay
Come keep me company
And the clouds'll roll away
See the honeymoon is shinin' down
We should make a date
With Parson Brown
So, Liza, Liza, name the day
When you belong to me
And the clouds will roll away
Thank you very much. Now we have
a great surprise in store for you.
We're gonna teach you
what every soldier should know:
How to bake a pousse-caf cake.
We proudly present Chef Ebberly.
Chef, take a bow.
Noonan, where's the chef?
Got sick eating his cooking,
I'm gonna imitate him. Don't worry.
- Let's go, come on.
- Here we go, here we go.
- To help you, I'll read the commercials.
- Don't worry about it.
[IN ITALIAN ACCENT]
Hello, soldier boys. Hello.
Hello. Hello.
Well, boys, today is the day.
Today, I'm gonna teach you how to
make a pousse-caf cake with 11 layers.
You ready? Good.
Let's commence, huh?
First thing what we gonna do,
check everything what we gonna use.
First, we check our mixing bowl.
Mixing bowl? Mixing bowl?
Where are they?
Here's our mixing bowl.
Next, our mixing fork.
Here's our mixing fork.
Must be dainty, huh?
That's how you stir.
Next, your finger bowl.
Here's your finger bowl.
That's a few fingers.
Remember the old saying,
cleanliness is next...
Well, now we gonna check
all the liquors, what we gonna use, eh?
Show you how you're gonna do.
You read what she says on the outside...
...and then you gonna taste
and make sure she's inside.
Start first with a bourbon.
That's bourbon.
Rum.
That's rum.
Vodka.
Gin.
That's a gin, I hate gin, I don't like it.
Blue Galliano.
Cherry Herring.
I like a Cherry Herring. I like.
Well, we all set.
We ready to begin, eh?
Why don't we begin
with Layer Number 1, Blue Galliano, eh?
Blue Galliano.
Take your Blue Galliano...
Take your Blue Galliano and move
your hands, sprinkle around your bowl.
Go the left, never to the right,
up to the market.
What do you know, we're pushing it
too much, your Blue Galliano.
I'll show you what we do
in a case like those.
You take your glass,
you tilt your bowl and you scoop, eh?
Boys, to save time, don't try
to put them back in the bottle.
The tops are so small,
you're gonna spill your drink, eh?
- Thank you very much.
- We're going to use flour.
We'll use Good Old flour,
it's free-flowing.
You can keep it in wet places,
it'll never harden or get lumpy.
Not good old,
free-flowing flour. Chef?
Never, never. Thank you, Johnny.
- You're doing a wonderful job.
- Thank you, chef.
Take your free-flowing flour,
put your free-flowing flour...
Next, what you gonna use
is up to your own taste.
For instance, you could use bourbon.
You could use it.
Rum.
You could use it.
Blue Galliano.
Don't use.
Cherry Herring.
I like Cherry Herring. I like.
One dash hurts nobody, eh?
Now we use E-G-G, egg, John, yes.
We're gonna use Good Old eggs,
they're not as costly as other eggs.
The reason being they've been stored...
...but they're as fresh
as the day they were laid. Chef?
- John, you're doing a wonderful job.
- Thank you, chef.
Thank you, John,
you're doing a wonderful job.
Thank you.
Break the egg easy.
Rum. Remember, let your fingers...
[CHICKS CHIRPING]
Hello, chicky.
Hello. Hello, chicky.
Now, we're ready
for crme de menthe, huh?
Hold the crme de menthe in one hand,
take your other hand and cup your hand.
Now, pour in the cup in your hand
four drops, eh?
One, two, three, four.
And slowly open up your fingers.
And remember, you can use fingers
to keep your hands because...
What are you gonna...?
Remember,
you got your fingers like this.
Remember, you...
Forget it, you got your fingers...
...and keep your hands nice and clean
because without them, who then?
Now we use fruit.
- Fruit.
- Thank you very much.
- Thank you.
- We're gonna use Good Old bananas.
Because Good Old bananas
are real good. Chef?
- You're doing a wonderful John, job.
- Thank you, chef.
Thank you, John.
- You're doing a wonderful job.
- Thank you, chef.
Thank you, John,
you're doing a wonderful job.
- Well, thank you, chef.
- Thank you, John.
You're doing a wonderful job.
- Thank you, chef.
- You're welcome.
Remember, when you got your fruit,
don't bruise your fruit...
...because when you bruise your fruit
you'll hurt your cake.
Take your fruit nice and gentle...
...and squeeze them
in the pan nice and easy.
When you get them in going nice...
...remember, you got your fingers
to keep your hands nice and clean.
Now you're gonna knead it.
When I say knead it,
I mean knead it...
...and when you get your knee in it,
then you're getting pretty good.
- We have to get...
- Shut your face.
- Tommy.
- Now use your Cherry Herring.
- Chef... Tom, look...
- That's good Cherry Herring.
You know what you could do
with this?
You could put it behind your ears,
smells nice.
- Fellas, Chef...
- Use it for hair tonic if you want.
- Tommy.
- Want me to tell them the truth?
- Don't tell them.
- [IN NORMAL VOICE] I'm Irish.
- Chef, please.
- I'm an Irish tenor.
- Listen.
- We have to go.
- [SINGING] When Irish eyes are smiling
- Thanks.
Come on, chef. Let's get back there.
Thank you, fellas.
Hey, we'll see you later
at the hospital, huh?
- Okay. We'll wait there.
- We'll be waiting for you.
- Lf that isn't a promise, we don't go.
- It's a promise.
It's nice of you girls to come down here
to welcome the boys home.
When the word gets out,
they'll be flying without the plane.
Hey, they're still out there, ain't they?
Yeah.
That gabby nurse is liable
to keep them out there forever.
Look, buster,
this is enough to drive a man crazy.
Those beautiful dames
are waiting to fall in my arms...
...and you're making me hide
like a dope.
- Now, be reasonable.
- You stay put, will you?
It's your big mouth
that got me into this jam.
Telling everybody
we're going off to war.
So now we're back. We're veterans.
You show your face out there
and so help me, I'll slug you.
Take it easy.
We're both on the same side.
I'm not so sure.
Would you like to come aboard?
- Oh, sure.
- We'd love to.
We brought in 55 boys this trip.
Most of them were ambulatory cases.
They walk off and don't need litter.
- When did you leave Tokyo?
- Forty-seven hours, 1 O minutes ago.
We refueled and changed crews
at Wake in Honolulu.
Look, you've forgotten someone.
NELL:
Rick.
Are you all right?
Don't you think you're a little big
to be playing hide-and-seek.
I don't feel so good.
You scared me half to death.
I thought you were wounded.
Him? Wounded?
He only flies back and forth
between here and Honolulu.
Well, well. I see we've landed.
When you're bragging
around the barracks...
...about how I fell
for your departing hero act...
...remember just one thing.
I think it was a low,
contemptible trick.
Don't worry, kid.
She's just surprised to see you.
She's not gonna be
the only one surprised.
According to the 716 newspapers
that carry Louella Parsons' column...
...you're at the front.
You see, you oversold us, we overdid it,
and now we're all in a spot.
Nothing that can't be fixed.
Just leave everything to me.
Haven't you fixed enough already?
Stay out of this, will you?
Boy, gee, Rick.
He wants me to stay out of it.
How do you like that?
That kis getting ready
for a psycho ward.
You're the boy
who can show him the way.
Yeah.
- In trouble, corporal?
- Yes, sir.
She's mad at me
because I didn't come back wounded.
Oh, I guess she's got a right to be.
Buster, there's no limit
to what a little brainwork can do.
Everything's under control.
Ruth walks me over
to Louella Parsons.
"Miss Parsons," she says,
"Look who I found. Rick's buddy."
I says, "Hi, Louella.
Special orders turned us around
in Honolulu."
She says, "Isn't that wonderful?"
Then everybody ran
to tell Nell the big news.
You're in like a burglar, boy.
Life can be beautiful again.
Well, say something.
This malt tastes like goat's milk
with a goat thrown in.
At a time like this, with love hanging
in the balance with a silken thread...
...you're worried
about a chocolate malt.
You keep acting like this, boy...
...and I think I can spring you
out of the Air Force.
Have you seen
Louella Parsons' column?
Seen it? I've memorized it.
If Nell Wayne,
beautiful Warner Bros. Starlet...
...isn't accepting any dates...
...it's because of Corporal Rick Williams,
now overseas.
A boy from her hometown
and her own private hero.
What a buildup.
The heroes of Waikiki Beach.
That's us.
It does taste like goat's milk.
Bah.
- Corporal Rick Williams to see you, sir.
- Send him in, sergeant.
- Corporal Williams.
- Colonel...
...could I have a little talk with you?
- Sure. What's on your mind, corporal?
Well...
...at least once a month now
since I've been here...
...I put in a request
to be transferred to a combat unit.
Nothing's happened.
That's probably
because you're needed where you are.
Men flying the transports
are doing a vital job.
But the same thing's happening to me
that happened to the mice.
- Mice?
- Yes, sir.
You see, there was a scientist.
He was experimenting with some mice.
Well, he put them in a little chute
and at one end there was some cheese.
But before they could get to the cheese,
they fell through a trapdoor.
When they'd run at the cheese,
they'd fall through the trapdoor.
Do you know what happened
to those mice, sir?
Yes, I read the article.
They went crazy.
Exactly.
And that's just what the Air Force
is doing to me.
All I do is fly back and forth...
...back and forth
between here and Honolulu.
Look, sir,
before I go out of my mind...
...I gotta fly out of here just once...
...and not have that trapdoor
sprung on me at Hickam Field.
Corporal, with Miss Wayne up here,
if your mind is still on mice...
...you'll be a credit to a combat unit.
Put in another request.
It'll have to go through channels
but I'll speed it up.
Thank you, sir.
- Oh, Williams?
- Yes, sir.
Been up to the hospital lately?
- No, sir.
- Louella Parsons is looking for you.
Me, sir?
Come along.
- You can ride up with me.
- Yes, sir.
- All right, corporal.
- Yes, sir.
- Rick, darling.
- Hello.
We were ready
to send a search party out for you.
- So you're Rick.
- Yes, ma'am.
Nell, I approve. I like him.
We were just about
to join the others for lunch.
You come along too, Rick.
You're elected guest of honor.
Would you think it awful of me if I
wanted to have lunch with Rick alone?
- We have so much to talk about.
- Why, of course not.
But don't you try
any disappearing act.
I have a special reason
for wanting the two of you...
...at the hospital auditorium tonight.
- Don't worry. We'll be there.
- That's a promise.
- Bye-bye.
- Goodbye.
- You can ride with me.
- Oh, thank you, colonel.
Be at the corporal's
and Miss Wayne's disposal.
Yes, sir.
Why did you have to show up?
Couldn't you have found a rock
to crawl under?
- Hey, what's going on? A minute ago...
- Get this straight.
We are a big human-interest story.
According to Louella Parsons...
...our romance was the start
of Hollywood people coming up here.
They're doing a wonderful job.
Couldn't spoil it
by telling them what a phony you are.
Oh, well, that's big-hearted of you.
Don't tell me you're not happy about it.
You're a big success, corporal.
Before the day's over,
you'll probably be a sergeant.
Do me a favor, will you,
and stop interfering in my life.
- Me, interfering?
- Yes, you.
Who started all this?
Who was it who came up to my hotel?
Who was it that blabbed
to Louella Parsons? Who was it that...?
Never mind. Sergeant, stop the car.
- Where do you think you're going?
- Back to the barracks.
I'm posted in operations
to go out tonight.
The troop is dying to meet you. So while
they're here, we're gonna be together.
Suit yourself, but I'm going to bed.
MAN [O VER SPEAKER]: This is a special
night up here, men. Hollywood takes over.
And to get things started...
... here's Gordon MacRae
with a vocal assist by the Air Force.
[SINGING]
Let me stand
With the grip of the plow in my hand
On the good green acres of home
My land
Where a friend is treasured
And your wealth is measured
By the strength of heart
And hand
- Let me live
- Let me live
With the sun and the wind
And the rain
While I plant my acres
With golden grain
Let me build my love nest
With a stick and stone
On the good green acres
Of home
Everybody, sing.
MEN [SINGING]:
Let me stand with the grip
Of the plow in my hand
On the good green acres of home
My land
Where a friend is treasured
And your wealth is measured
By the strength of heart
And hand
MEN: Let me live with the sun
And the wind and the rain
While I plant my acres
With golden grain
Let me build my love nest
With a stick and stone
On the good green acres of home
My home
The good green acres
Of home
Where's Rick?
He hasn't shown up yet.
No?
Well, I'm expecting him any minute.
He probably overslept.
Well, what happens now?
After the note I sent him
begging him to come here...
...if he doesn't show up, I'll...
- Take it easy, Nell.
Now, men, Nell Wayne and Gene Nelson,
assisted by the Cheerleaders...
... showing you what happens
when things don't come naturally.
"It's Magic!"
You know, things that I've done lately
sure would frighten you.
If you care to listen, I'll enlighten you.
[SINGING]
I'm sure Houdini and his crew
Couldn't do the things I do
See what I mean?
I simply think of someone unattainable
That's when things become
So unexplainable
I merely turn my thoughts to her
And the miracles occur
When I recall her kiss
I suddenly go up like this, it's magic
Don't ask me why or how
I only know it's happening now
It's magic
And then those voices start
To fill the air
I hear a melody
And suddenly they're there
And then
To chase the gloom
Her smile makes all the roses bloom
It's magic
I just remove my gloves
And suddenly they're two white doves
It's magic
Oh, why I ask myself
If I can do all the things that I do
Why can't I find a magic way or word
To bring me you
Doo, doo, doo
Bah, bah
You, you, you, you're in trouble
Knew you'd be seeing double
Boo, boo
Bah, bah, ba doo bah
Don't! You won't like it
GENE: Oh no?
CHORUS: You'll be sorry
She's a doll
CHORUS: Doo, doo, doo, doo
Doo, doo, doo, doo
Doo-doo-doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
You sigh, the song begins
You sing and I hear violins play
It's magic
The stars desert the skies
And rush to nestle in your eyes
It's magic
Without a golden wand
Or mystic charm
Fantastic things begin
When I am in your arms
Why do I tell myself?
These things that happen
Are already true
When in my heart I know
The magic is my love
For you
Pardon me, sir.
Some newspaper people are here
to see Miss Parsons.
She's in one of the hospital wards
talking to the boys.
- Better phone her.
- Yes.
Wait. I can handle this.
Hi, fellas.
Well, what kept you?
Shock. Whoever heard of Louella Parsons
cutting the working press in on a yarn?
This is one story she's willing to share
with the opposition.
- What story?
- Spill it, George.
Well, it's simply this:
A planeload of show folks came up here
and entertained the troops going out...
...and the wounded coming home.
The boys liked it. I think
those coming after will like it too.
People of Hollywood would consider it
a privilege to carry on what was started.
You bought yourself a deal, George.
You supply the talent,
I'll supply the planes.
You know,
I think I have a name for it.
I heard a Marine use it in a ward
this afternoon.
He called it "Operation Starlift."
There's your story, boys.
MAN: We want all of it.
How did this thing get started?
Well, last week in San Francisco...
...when Nell Wayne and the gang
were up for a premiere...
...a boy from Nell's hometown...
Hold it for another, Miss Wayne.
All right, get a little closer, corporal.
Gotta make this look good
for your public.
Your nasty mind would come up
with something like that.
MAN: Okay, one more now,
let's make this a real goodbye shot.
Good. Then we'll make this
the goodbye of goodbyes.
MAN: Miss Wayne, Mr. Rogers.
- Have her come in.
Have a seat, Nell.
Am I very much in the doghouse?
On Saturday, you girls sabotaged
an entire day's shooting schedule.
Mr. Prinz said
we didn't hold up anything.
Said he had plenty to shoot
without us.
Mr. Prinz is a sucker for romance.
He's under the influence
of the pictures he's made.
And speaking of romance...
...you know, Nell...
...I like the looks of this fellow.
Then I'm not fired?
No.
And listen to this.
- Miss Taylor, take this memo to Casting.
WOMAN: Yes, sir.
Effective today supply
the Hollywood coordinating committee...
...with lists
of contract talent available...
...for personal appearances
at Travis Air Base.
That's wonderful, Mr. Rogers.
We supplied shows to the Armed Forces
through the last war.
All they have to do is call on us
and we're ready.
Happy? Then this
will make you happier.
The base has asked for a special show
for tomorrow.
Gary Cooper and Phil Harris
are taking a troop up.
The Starlift plane leaves at 5.
With a little arranging,
you can be on it.
I don't wanna go, Mr. Rogers.
- What? Why?
- It's a personal problem.
I'd rather not talk about it.
But I thought
this is what you wanted.
I think I'd better go, Mr. Rogers.
- There you are.
- Hi, Mom.
Hello.
Honey...
...we've had the nicest surprise.
You must remember
Dr. And Mrs. Williams.
Hello.
I'm afraid l...
Rick's father and mother
from Youngstown.
Oh, yes.
We were driving through
to see Rick at the airbase.
They'd have gone right on...
...if they hadn't seen
Louella Parsons' article.
LOUISE:
Rick hadn't written us a word.
You can imagine
how surprised we were.
You're in for a surprise too.
Rick's here.
- What?
- Uh-huh.
- Yes, he's upstairs, getting cleaned up.
DR. WILLIAMS: It was your das idea.
So instead of driving up to camp,
we phoned Rick...
...he got himself a pass
and flew down.
You shoulve seen his face
when we met him at the airport.
- He had no idea we knew each other.
- He was absolutely speechless.
You know, I certainly am proud
of those teeth of yours.
Thank you, doctor.
Hurry and get your makeup off.
Dinner's almost ready.
Excuse me, please.
Hello.
Why didn't you tell them the truth?
How could I tell them
with your folks there?
- Have you told them?
- How could I with your folks there?
Great.
- How long will you be here?
- Until tomorrow evening.
Well, I guess
I'll have to stand it somehow.
Yeah, well, if gets too painful,
Dad will give you a shot of Novocaine.
- Rick, dear, have some more coffee.
- Oh, no thanks, Mrs. Wayne.
See, I'm full.
Well, thanks for a wonderful meal.
My, I just can't get over
how Rick has grown.
Yes. Hasn't he?
Come on, Mom.
You said you were leaving the dishes.
If we're going to the movies,
we better hurry.
- I'll be ready in a minute.
- Wait a minute. I better fix my hair.
Just a moment.
Who said you were going?
You kids don't wanna go out
with us tonight.
It's Rick's only night in town.
Sure. Go out and hit
some of the nightspots.
Here's the key to the car.
Well, see you at the hotel.
Whenever you get there.
SUE: Goodbye, have fun.
LOUISE: Good night.
And remember,
be careful with that new car.
- Good night, honey.
- Good night, Dad.
Well, guess I'll have to
make reservations.
Where would you prefer to go?
Mocambo's or Ciro's?
Suit yourself.
I suppose either one
will have photographers...
...just waiting to take your picture.
- Usually.
Naturally.
Don't you people even sneeze
or scratch your nose around here...
...without somebody
snapping your picture?
Look, wherever we go tonight,
we're gonna see people I know.
- You can at least try to act pleasant.
- Acting is your game, not mine.
Boy, if I ever get through tonight,
I'll deserve an Academy Award.
Well, then suppose
we just skip the big performance.
- I'll see you in the movies.
- Where are you going?
Back to the hotel.
Oh, and here's your good luck charm.
- I was doing better without it.
- Thanks.
Good night.
Nell?
Come in, Dad.
What are you doing home? I thought you
and Rick were out gallivanting.
We didn't go anywhere.
I was kind of tired.
- So was Rick.
- Oh?
- Where's Mom?
- Whipping up a snack.
- I was hungry. How about you?
- No thanks, Dad.
Well, good night, honey.
Dad?
Yes?
Dad.
Am I a phony?
Well...
...I never thought so.
But I could be prejudiced.
Rick thinks I'm a phony.
[LAUGHING]
Suppose you tell me
what you two had the beef about?
Come on.
Some other time, Dad.
Okay, honey.
They'll be out here for breakfast
tomorrow morning.
Now, if it was your fault,
tell him you're sorry.
Even if it wasn't your fault,
tell him you're sorry anyhow.
That's what your mother does with me
and it's never failed yet.
Thanks, Dad.
See you in the morning.
- Hi, Louise. Hi, doc. Come on in.
LOUISE: Good morning.
- Isn't it a lovely day?
- Hi.
Yes.
- Where's Rick?
- Gone back to the base.
We put him on the plane
at 6:OO this morning.
NELL:
Why?
He didn't have to go back
until tonight.
Telegram came canceling his furlough.
The rascal put in for overseas duty
and got it.
Rick's always been funny
about goodbyes.
That's why he didn't wanna call you.
He said he'd write.
He wouldn't let us drive him up there.
And besides,
we couldn't get on the base.
Well, I can.
Mom, would you call the airport...
...and make a reservation
on the first plane to San Francisco?
MIKE:
The dope's ducking you again.
His group doesn't leave
until tomorrow.
So to get off the base, he's going
on a training flight to March Field.
I'm gonna tell operations
colonel wants Rick's plane held.
If this doesn't work,
come and see me in the guardhouse.
- I've got to see Colonel Callan.
- Have you got a pass?
I don't need a pass,
I've been here before.
I'm sorry.
I think you'd better wait here.
Lieutenant, you know
I'm allowed on the flight line.
Not with boys like these coming in.
[MEN WHISTLING AND HOOTING]
MAN 1:
Where's Frisco?
Our first bunch of rotation troops
back from combat.
Twelve planeloads of those fellows
coming in at 2O-minute intervals.
MAN 2:
Hey, Carl, let's go.
If you go out there,
we'll never get this gang off the field...
...and we need the busses.
MAN 3: Lieutenant.
- Excuse me.
No luck, kid.
Rick's plane had already taken off.
Well, guess there's no use
bothering the colonel about it now.
When that dope gets back, if he doesn't
kick himself over the base, I'll do it.
Why, Mike...
...that's the first nice thing
you've said to me all day.
- How about lunch?
- Got any money?
Come on.
You'll be notified
when they leave March Field?
The minute they file their flight plan.
Thanks.
No word yet?
Hey, the Starlift plane is in.
Virginia Mayo is on it.
Anybody else?
Gary Cooper and Phil Harris
and a bunch of others.
But I stopped looking
when Virginia Mayo walked off.
Man, how I'd like to be trapped
in a foxhole with about 12 like her.
What a way to win the Purple Heart.
They all went over to the hospital.
Mayo too.
I was just thinking that, uh...
Hm. That if we went over
to the hospital...
Well, um...
- Come on, Mike.
- Easy, girl.
That's my saluting arm.
Oh, Miss Mayo, Miss Gibson,
would you step in a little closer?
Well, look what I found.
Hi, you pretty things.
- Well, if it isn't Phil Harris.
- You got room for one more, doll?
Sure, come on in.
Okay, you can start shooting, son.
That camera
ain't never had it so good.
Mr. Harris, you're crowding out
Miss Mayo and Miss Gibson.
Do you want them in too?
I'm sorry I usually work alone.
Now, let's see. Now, lay it on us.
I can't get you all in.
Mr. Harris,
would you mind stepping out?
Well, no. Not at all.
This is my bad side anyway.
- Hi, colonel.
- Your turn's coming, Phil.
- Some of the nurses have cameras.
- Oh, yeah? Color or black and white?
Oh, colonel,
is Gary Cooper really downstairs?
- Yes, he was a moment ago.
- Thanks.
Excuse me, mister.
Cooper? I could have them slapping
my face while he's saying "yup."
Don't let her throw you.
Girls will be girls.
I know.
And I wouldn't want it any other way.
- Gin.
- You never shoulve thrown that nine.
He's got two of them stashed away.
You better get some sleep, kid.
Look, the jack is your play.
What's the top card? Eight.
See? Now he's got to discard a nine
and then you go down with two.
Say, mister,
you really know this game.
Look, son, I've been fooling
with them little tickets all my life.
- You don't say.
- Right.
I make so much money playing cards
I can afford to play honest now.
- You've been pretty lucky.
- No, I ain't been pretty lucky.
You gotta understand them
52 little monsters.
Look, I figure a card is like a woman.
Pick it up, study it and just when you're
deciding whether or not to hold it...
...put it down,
somebody else picks it up.
The guy's a philosopher.
- How would you like to play his hand?
- Save your money, I'll just watch.
Oh I'm... I'm quitting anyway.
Make yourself comfortable.
Thanks, but look, stick around...
...and I'll stop after every hand
and explain how I won it.
You know us country boys
could use pointers.
- How much will it cost me?
- We'll just play for fun.
No, my father told me,
"Never play cards for fun."
How about a cent a point?
Well, okay.
I'll take another cent on Turner
if you can stand it.
- Hey, count me in for a cent.
- I'll take two.
Don't leave me out.
I want a penny too.
Sounds like
you all had the same father.
Look, you could lose
a chunk of dough.
So can you.
[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]
That's French
for I hate to do this to you, Mac.
I'll risk it. Cut for deal.
- You win, but I'll shuffle.
- We'll shuffle.
You guys must have taken
your basic training in Las Vegas.
Well, where do you go to surrender?
Say, aren't you Phil Harris?
That's what's embroidered
on my shorts.
[PHIL LAUGHS]
Your play, Phil.
[PHIL SPEAKS IN FRENCH]
Sounds like Phil Harris.
- Wanna meet him?
- Yeah, after I meet Virginia Mayo.
Mike, you've got a one-track mind.
That's right.
Now get me to the station.
NELL: Pardon us, please.
MIKE: Pardon.
[BAND PLAYING]
Mr. Rogers. What are you doing here?
Well, for one thing, I thought
I'd make sure you got to work tomorrow.
You didn't have to do that.
Besides, I wanted to see
what was going on.
Woman at 3 o'clock.
WOMAN [SINGING]:
I may be wrong
But I think you're wonderful
I may be wrong
But I think you're swell
I like your style, say
I think it's marvelous
I'm always wrong so how can I tell
All of my hats are unsightly
All of my shoes are a crime
lf, dear, in you I picked rightly
It's the very first time
You came along, say
I think you're wonderful
I think you're grand
But I may be wrong
Wish I could trust my emotions
But sometimes I'm not very wise
I get the craziest notions
About the craziest guys
You're big and strong, oh, say
I think you're wonderful
I think you're grand
But I may be wrong
I've heard that all's fair
In love and war
So must you be so polite?
I may have been wrong
Many times before
But I'm all so right tonight
Oh, sergeant, you better close that,
you're creating a draft.
Gee, Miss Wyman,
that was wonderful.
I got the feeling
you were singing just to me.
Well, I could hardly help it.
- Cigarette?
- Oh, yes, thanks a lot.
- Match?
- Oh, thanks a lot.
Marriage?
Thanks a lot.
[PEOPLE LAUGHING]
How long will you be? We're invited
to dinner to the officers' mess.
You go ahead,
I got my own mess right here.
- Sounds like you're stuck.
- Stuck?
I'm climbing all over these guys.
Killing them.
- Gin.
- Oh, no.
Now, you see what you did?
You threw my timing off.
Pour it on him, boys.
- Count them up, curly.
- All right, all right.
Twenty, 3O...
...39, 48.
You're out on all three games.
Somebody's been fooling
with these figures.
- You're keeping the score.
- I don't trust nobody.
[WHISTLES]
Three hundred and eighty-six, sixty.
I'm sure grateful for these lessons.
You don't have to make a pig of yourself
and take a postgraduate course.
Mr. Rogers phoned. He was worried
about your missing dinner.
I told him you were dining with us.
Liver and onions.
I expected bread crumbs...
...ain't that what they feed pigeons?
- Don't be bitter, curly. Deal.
- I'm dealing, I'm dealing.
Mr. Rogers will pick you up
on his way to the theater.
Tell him never mind.
I may have to enlist to get even.
I doubt if I can swallow or not.
My throat's been cut.
Did it get through?
Play.
[BAND PLAYS FANFARE]
Welcome home, fellas.
I'm Randy Scott,
pinch-hitting for Phil Harris...
...who was supposed to be here
emceeing the show.
Terrible thing happened to Phil
up at the hospital.
He kibitzed himself
into a gin rummy game.
Any of you Eighth Army men
ever hear of a fella named Turner?
MEN:
Harris will be sorry.
I'm sure he'll be with us
when he runs out to tear buckets.
Meanwhile,
let's get on with the show.
When you men
started flying the Pacific...
...l'm sure you all looked
over the travel folders.
You saw beautiful pictures
of lush island paradises.
And lovely maidens dancing
beneath swaying tropical palms.
Did you find anything like that?
MEN:
No!
That's what we figured.
So here's Virginia Mayo...
...to give you her idea of your idea
of what you expected to see.
[BAND PLAYING]
[PHONE RINGS]
- Hello.
- Is that Phil Harris?
- No, it's for Miss Wayne.
- Thanks.
Hello?
Thanks.
Rick's plane left March Field
3O minutes ago.
Still no Harris.
That's the name of the game.
Oh, somebody get a sling for my head,
1 O, 2O, 39, 45.
It's times like this
my whole life passes before my eyes.
Blitzed again.
Pay the man for the lesson and let's go.
Wait a minute, will you?
I'm stuck 756 clams.
And I had to waste my time
going to medical school.
Good night, boys.
Let's play one more game.
There's some money in my shoe
you ain't got.
Can't you break this up?
Sorry, Mr. Harris, the game's over.
It's past visiting hours.
Well, that's a fine way
to run a hospital.
Get a guy hooked
and then close the place.
Does the Pentagon know
you're running a clip joint?
Believe it or not, Phil,
I hate to take your money.
Believe it or not
I hate to give it to you.
It's been nice meeting you vultures.
- Good night.
- So long, fellas.
Here.
- What's this?
- My address. You I can beat.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
Hi, girls. Harris is here.
Don't just sit there,
go out of your minds.
- I see you're still alive and breathing.
- Honey, I feel like a baby boy.
- Well, powder your nose. You're on.
- Oh, those lucky people.
Now, fellas,
a sadder, but wiser, Phil Harris.
Hi, fellas.
I can't tell you what it means to walk
out here have you smiling...
...you're glad to see me,
you're applauding...
...and I wanna tell you
I love you for it.
I've been with Jack Benny
for 15 years.
And there ain't no money
connected with that job.
So anything you can do to help me earn
an honest buck I'll appreciate it.
MAN: How about Alice?
PHIL: What do you say, bud?
MAN:
How about Alice?
They told me when I married her she had
money but I'll be darned if I can find it.
And I've looked everywhere.
I'd have been here sooner...
...but I was up in the hospital
giving a money transfusion.
Man, did he cut me up.
You're laughing, it's a tragedy.
I'm a family man.
I got two little girls. One 7 and one 8.
Now they've gotta go to work.
[MEN WHISTLING]
Hey, fellas...
...how would you like to have
a duffel bag shaped like that?
What is it, honey?
They're ready for your number...
...and I'm supposed to help you
get dressed.
Well, help, help, help.
She's kidding, fellas,
I can dress myself.
She just has to comb my hair out.
[BAND PLAYING]
[SINGING] I was standin' in a bar room
In a little Texas town
Drinkin' double sarsaparillas
Just to wash my dinner down
Folks were dancin' to the jukebox
Were a very fine quartet
And a guy named Harris sang a song
Called "Smoke That Cigarette"
While the music was still playin'
Somethin' shook the whole room
All the women started screamin'
Till I couldn't hear the tune
Then I looked up to the doorway
And I saw him standin' there
It was Fearless Fred the Foreman
Dog-dirty and loaded for bear
It was a year to the day
Since he had last been to town
And he showed it by the way
He eyed the women up and down
Then he started in to cuss
At all the folks up at the bar
Till a ranger who was there
Cautioned Freddy to beware
Before he had gone too far
He said:
Look out, stranger,
I'm a Texas ranger...
...better take it nice and easy
or you'll have to go.
Well, now Fred the Foreman
Wasn't bright
Or he'd just stopped right then
But he just ignored the ranger
And he started in again
He went down and grabbed Miss Lulu
The local dance hall queen
While the fella who was with her
Was so scared he near turned green
Then the ranger who was watchin'
Said that he had had enough
Because he'd been polite to Freddy
Now it was time that he got tough
When a woman isn't willin'
You can't grab her by the hair
You just don't do that and live
When there's a ranger standing there
He said:
Look out, stranger,
I'm a Texas Ranger.
Take your hands off that there woman
or you'll make me mad.
Then the ranger turned to Lulu
To make sure she was all right
Freddy saw his chance
And hit that ranger wham
With all his might
But the ranger looked around
And said:
I think I felt a breeze.
Meanwhile Freddy held his broken hand
And felt quite ill at ease
I warned you, look out, stranger,
I'm a Texas Ranger.
Then the ranger swung at Freddy
And all the lights went out
[LULU SCREAMING]
[GUNSHOTS]
When the lights went on again
Some thieving dog, he stole my drink
And I swore out loud
I'd like to get my hands upon that gink
When I looked around
The only other person that I saw
Was the ranger sipping sarsaparilla
Calmly through a straw
Fearless Freddy rose up from the floor
And drew his.45
When the smoke had cleared
We found the ranger smiling and alive
It's a well-known fact in Texas
That a ranger's skin is hard
Even bullets never hurt,
it's like a built-in bodyguard.
So remember, stranger
If you meet a Texas Ranger
- They're the roughest.
- Yeah!
- Toughest.
- Yeah!
Gentlemen you ever saw
And, gals,
they're handsome critters too.
Yep.
Was it all right, fellas?
[MEN APPLAUDING]
Thank you. Now meet the principles.
Lulu, Virginia Gibson.
Fearless Freddy, Frank Lovejoy.
And the Texas Ranger, Gary Cooper.
That kis a nervous wreck.
[PHONE RINGS]
Yeah?
Okay, thanks.
They're on the ground, Miss Wayne.
Landed 1 O minutes ago.
- Which gate will they come through?
- Relax!
The whole crew has to pass
through here on the way to check in.
Hey, Joe, where's Williams?
I don't know.
The minute we hit the field
he took off like a scared rabbit.
That's funny.
I even told the tower
to tell him you were waiting.
The guy's gotta
be somewhere in the field.
Let's go find him.
It's too late, Mike.
Show's almost over. I've gotta leave.
Don't worry, kid.
I'll make him phone you
before he gets away.
Mike, if I write him a letter,
will you see that he gets it?
You bet. Even if I have to shove it
down his throat.
MAN [O VER SPEAKER]: Miss Nell Wayne,
please report to Starlift plane immediately.
Miss Nell Wayne, please report
to Starlift plane immediately.
Tell him I'll be right there.
I did, 15 minutes ago.
That flight steward
will be back here any second.
I'm almost finished.
Good thing.
The joint's running out of paper.
- Nell?
- Hm?
You won't need an envelope.
- Well, what will it be?
- Chocolate malt.
Not again, corporal.
You know you won't like it.
Try again. Maybe you'll surprise me.
- Miss?
- Yes, Miss Wayne?
What flavor does he want?
Chocolate, his usual.
- Would you trust me with it?
- With pleasure.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Hey, this is great.
First one I've made
since I left Youngstown.
What is this, another publicity stunt?
Where's your photographers?
Please don't say anything else.
Read this first.
I wrote it when I thought
I wasn't going to see you again.
This letter makes me feel like a heel.
You talk too much.
MIKE [O VER SPEAKER]:
May I have your attention, please?
Due to mechanical difficulties...
... departure of the Starlift plane
is postponed until tomorrow.
Okay, Nell?
I wonder what happens when that pilot
finds out he's missing a carburetor.
Goodbye, Rick.
- Promise to write.
- Every day.
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye now.