1
MAN: Officer on deck.
Today, you're going to locate
a medium-sized Bug colony
and wipe it out.
Intel estimates infestation
is level two.
Which means we're up against
1000 active defenders.
We know what to do.
Kill them all.
Ooh.
Yeah, that's the idea.
Run the plan,
lieutenant.
Yes, sir.
Uh...
Geo.
First team secures
the landing zone, sir.
Uh, Camacho.
We'll locate the target
colony's entrance, sir?
Uh, One-Oh-One?
We give them the gas.
Kills Bugs, but don't hurt us.
Baba.
[LAUGHS]
Oh, geez, that's me.
Flip the nuke,
flip the launcher on the nuke.
Ugh.
Oh, uh, but not yet.
Uh...Dutch.
Me and Bessie seal the deal,
right down their Bug hole.
MAN [OVER INTERCOM]:
Eagle One ready for takeoff.
Remember your training,
and stick to the plan.
Do you get me?
TEAM [OVERLAPPING]:
Yes, sir. We get you, sir.
Lock and load.
Yeah.
Let's do this.
All right, baby.
[]
MAN 1:
Eagle One, clear.
MAN 2:
Eagle Two, clear.
MAN 3:
Eagle Three, clear.
MAN 1:
Eagle One, touchdown in 10,
nine, eight,
seven, six, five,
four, three, two, one.
[GROANS]
[LOUD CRASH]
[HEAVY BREATHING]
[SQUEALS]
Geo, no!
No, no. God, no. No, no!
[ROARS]
Bug!
[SQUEALS]
[GUNFIRE]
Come on, you apes.
Move out. Move it. Let's go!
[ROARS]
Goddamn.
They don't quit.
What's your malfunction,
lieutenant?
Come on.
Go get them!
[GUNFIRE]
Form a perimeter!
Holy shit.
BABA:
Oh, man.
[SHRIEKS]
No time for praying, son.
I got your back.
Fire in the hole.
[BUGS SCREAM]
CAMACHO [LAUGHS]:
Nice one.
Camacho, 9 o'clock.
[ALL SCREAM]
Help me! Help me!
Camacho.
Colonel Rico!
Pull back. Stay close.
Oh, man.
We're surrounded again.
Here goes the gas.
[GRUNTS]
Oh, shit!
[YELLING]
Let the gas settle in.
Step back.
[GROANS]
[WHIMPERS]
Colonel Rico?
Rico, where are you?
Ow!
Who was that?
Whoa! I can't see anything.
Lieutenant,
use your infrared.
And keep
your head down.
Oh, right.
Um, okay, my infrared.
Infrared, infrared...
Oh, there you are.
That's not your infrared,
lieutenant.
Oh. Then what is it?
[ALARM BUZZES]
Well, that was just
outstanding.
Well, sir...
how come I always
get ripped in half?
Bugs got your number,
big man.
Colonel, no one told us
it was a trap.
That's not fair, sir.
Here's a little combat secret
for you, lieutenant:
War isn't fair.
It's always a trap.
Cancel your plans,
troopers.
We go again tomorrow.
Sorry, sir,
but don't you remember?
Tomorrow's Air Day.
Celebrating 25 years
of filtered Martian air.
Air Day?
Yes, sir.
We take our terraforming
very seriously.
No one appreciates
a nice gulp of fresh air
like a Martian, sir.
There are no Martians
in my Mobile Infantry,
lieutenant.
Only troopers who follow orders.
Do you get me?
ALL:
We get you, sir.
Same time tomorrow,
troopers.
Dismissed.
[ALL GROAN, MUTTER INDISTINCTLY]
What the hell
was that about?
[SIGHS]
So how about those new
Martian recruits?
If you've been watching,
you know.
Is there anyone
who isn't watching?
It's the wackiest shit
we've ever seen on FedNet.
[LAUGHS]
I call them my Lost Patrol.
I might feed them to the Bugs
and start over.
What do you expect from
a bunch of Martian farm kids?
How is it that I got posted
to the most uneventful colony
in the entire Federation?
Wait.
Don't answer that.
[SIGHS]
They could've made my life
a whole lot worse,
considering I'm the only
commanding officer
ever to let an Arachnid Queen
through our Terran defenses.
Don't be so hard
on yourself, colonel.
If you'd pulled that trigger,
we'd all be dead.
Thanks, Ratzass.
I need to stop
reliving that moment.
Shoot some caffeine?
Check this out.
[LAUGHS]
Colonial duty
isn't for everybody,
but Mars
is a sweet place
to kick back
and get some R&R.
Do I look like someone
who needs R&R?
I'd rather be stuck
on a Bug planet.
At least I'd have
something to shoot.
The Martians prefer
the slow life.
You know if they break away
from the Federation,
they're gonna stop contributing
to the war on Bugs.
Makes no sense.
[LAUGHING]
Nice.
Guys, here it goes:
"There are no Martians
in my Mobile Infantry.
Only troopers
who follow orders."
"And the orders are:
stay in your quarters
and don't have any fun."
[LAUGHTER]
DUTCH: Yeah, that's right.
That's right.
"Real troopers don't celebrate
Air Day.
BOTH:
"Real troopers don't need air."
[ALL LAUGH]
You know, maybe it's true
what they say.
Maybe Martians
just aren't that smart.
That's what people used to say
about me back in high school.
[GASPS]
You idiot.
You idiot.
He totally heard you.
I rest my case.
Martians and their
goddamned air.
That shit is starting
to give me headaches.
Hey, look!
MAN: Yeah!
I wonder where they're going.
The Fleet's making
a massive strike on the AQZ.
Oh! Yeah!
[]
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]
What's the matter, Rico?
Can't stand sitting one out?
I'm Infantry.
We like to fight.
[]
NEWS NARRATOR:
There's a distinctly different
air to Air Day this year.
In addition to the usual
all-night parties,
Martian separatists
are using the holiday
to promote Martian
independence.
Recent opinion polls show that
one in three Martians are tired
of fighting a war
that doesn't affect them.
And a startling 73 percent said
they'd much rather drink beer.
Well, it looks like fun
to be a Martian,
but fun is for kids.
NEWS NARRATOR:
At 26, Snapp isn't just
the Federation's youngest
sky marshal.
Federal Scientists now say
she's probably
the smartest woman
who's ever lived.
In war, you're either
part of the fight
or you're part
of the problem.
INTERVIEWER:
So do you think independence
could catch on
in other emerging
Federal colonies?
[LAUGHS]
No.
Mars is a special case where
ego politics and isolationism
have conspired against
moral responsibility.
INTERVIEWER:
One last question for our
younger viewers, sky marshal:
Have you ever been wrong
about anything?
[LAUGHS]
It's my curse.
NEWS NARRATOR:
Would you like to know more?
In a bold move on the AQZ,
Sky Marshal Snapp deployed
the entire Fleet for a surprise
attack on the Bugs.
This marks the 20th anniversary
of the Klendathu invasion.
Maybe this time, the operation
will not be a total failure.
Would you like to know more?
WOMAN [OVER PA]:
Interstellar flight 103
to Geneva
now boarding at gate D-51.
Carmen.
Carmen.
MAN:
Status report, code red.
Plus one and counting.
It's getting thick
out there.
CARL:
Carmen. Carmen.
Carmen.
Carmen, it's Carl.
Carl?
You okay, ma'am?
Keep your eye
on the drop.
Everything I'm about to say
to you is classified.
So don't talk.
If you can read my thoughts,
then you know I'm a little busy
right now, Carl.
MAN:
--and prepare to evade fire.
You're the only one
who can help right now, Carmen.
What is it this time?
I need you to get
a message to Johnny.
Johnny's on Mars, right?
You're a lot closer than me.
I can't get through to him
like I can with you.
You know Johnny.
He's got a thick head.
Shit. Hold on.
Carl?
MAN:
Plasma. Incoming.
[EXPLOSION]
CARMEN: Maintain altitude.
CARL:
Okay, I'm back.
So you want me
to abandon my command
in the AQZ
and go to Mars now?
WOMAN [OVER PA]:
Flight 103 to Geneva
boarding now.
Now would be good.
Are you going to bother
telling me why?
No. I think you're better off
not knowing.
[LOUD CRASH]
[ALL GASP]
Direct hit
on the Ishizuka.
Heavy damage.
Of course not,
because that's the way
you like it.
You haven't changed a bit,
have you, Carl?
No, and I'm not planning to.
I need you to find Johnny.
Amy Snapp is very upset
with Mars,
and you know
how she can be.
Mobile Infantry,
commence drop.
MAN:
Mobile Infantry, commence drop.
Enjoy the flight, sir.
Thank you.
You're not being
very concrete, Carl.
Yes, I know.
If the truth about Mars
ever comes out,
it will destroy
the Federation.
Is the truth really that bad?
MAN:
Six units standing by
for delivery.
I'm afraid it is.
[WOMAN SCREAMS]
Freeze.
Well, anyway, good luck.
That's it?
"Good luck"?
Yes. We're going
to need it.
Both hands in the air.
[SHRILL BEEP]
[GROANS AND SCREAMS]
He's-- He's in my head!
[ALL GROANING]
So you're in, right?
Where will I find him?
In the Martian Outback.
Somewhere along
the Valles Marineris.
[FOOTSTEPS]
PSI, asshole.
[CARL GASPING]
Carl?
[GASPING]
MAN:
You're under arrest.
Carl?
Carl.
Carl Jenkins
in custody.
We got Jenkins.
[GROANING]
Put him under.
CARL:
Damn you, Amy.
[BLOWS LAND]
[ALARM BUZZES]
Simulation, my ass.
[PANTING]
You know, even Bugs learn
from their mistakes.
Maybe we need
an easier sim, sir.
Hot LZ 1 is kind of where
it all starts, lieutenant.
Unless you wanna run
baby-Bug petting zoo.
[ALL BREATHING HEAVILY]
Well, I think we could
all use a win.
[LOW RUMBLE]
[ALL GASP]
What's that?
Bug plasma.
What the hell?
Bugs on Mars? Is this the next
training sim, sir?
[RUMBLE]
Negative. This is real world,
trooper.
Get everyone
into battle armor.
Yes, sir.
[]
How bad is it?
There's a major Bug outbreak
on the surface.
Including Plasma Bugs.
Yeah. I kind of
figured that.
RATZASS:
It's been classified as
a level-four infestation.
The Second Mars
Mobile Infantry
is deployed and engaged
on the ground.
Level four?
Do you know what that means?
RATZASS:
We're getting visuals now.
[PEOPLE SCREAMING
OVER MONITOR]
We just lost our connection
to the Federation, sir.
We're sitting ducks up here.
Initiate evacuation protocols.
Yes, sir.
[RUMBLE]
Direct plasma hit to flight bay.
I'm taking Lost Patrol
down to the planet.
You're going in with those
Martian kids? Are you crazy?
Someone's gotta knock out
those Bug batteries.
We've trained for it,
so today's the day.
You're a brass-balled trooper
through and through, Rico.
And goddamn it,
I'm going with you.
[]
Hey, Ratzass, come on.
Let's move.
COMPUTERIZED VOICE:
Emergency systems activated.
What's your status,
lieutenant?
Uh, power suits on, sir.
Get everyone on the boat now.
This station is gonna blow.
What? Uh, I'm sorry, sir,
c-could you repeat that?
Code red.
Evacuation protocol initiated.
Get everyone
on the boat now.
We got Bugs to kill.
Oh, my God.
We're all gonna die.
You do not have
permission to die!
[GRUNTS]
[PANTING]
RICO:
Someone wanted me here.
And whoever it was already knew
there were Bugs on Mars.
Colonel Rico.
Lost Patrol.
Today's the day to prove
yourselves.
We descend to the Mars surface
immediately.
Mars is your home, troopers,
and today she needs your help.
Wipe out every Bug that you see,
and take back your planet.
ALL:
Yes, sir!
[]
Training's over,
troopers.
Sergeant Major Ratzass
is coming along for the ride.
We're dropping
with a legend.
Yeah.
Let's swing.
Come on, you apes.
You wanna live forever?
ALL: Hoo-ah!
To the dropship, now.
On the bounce,
troopers!
Set your suits
to zero pressure, troopers.
MAN:
Radio test. Do you all read me?
BABA: Baba, okay.
ONE-OH-ONE: One-Oh-One, okay.
CAMACHO: Camacho, okay.
DUTCH: Dutch, okay.
GEO:
Geo, okay.
BABA:
Colonel Rico, this looks bad.
Move it, move it.
Let's go.
Move it or lose it.
Let's get out of here.
Yes, sir.
The hangar door
won't open, colonel.
We're a no-go.
We're a no-go
only if I say so.
Everyone onboard?
Uh, yes, sir.
Colonel, no good.
We're stuck.
Maybe this isn't gonna work,
colonel.
Bullshit.
Link my suit
to your weapons system.
Roger that.
Ready...
fire.
Here we go.
[]
Oh, my God!
Aah!
Remember your training,
troopers, and you will not die.
[]
ALL:
Whoa!
We're going down brown, sir.
Are your people
ready to jump?
We're gonna jump?
This is it, troopers.
We're going HALO
out the rear hatch.
The choice is yours.
Sit here and die,
or make the jump and die.
[LAUGHS]
[ALL WHIMPERING
AND PANTING]
Relax.
It's a good day to die.
[LAUGHS]
[YELLS]
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
BABA:
No! Oh!
[SCREAMING]
RICO:
Good news is we are
all-systems-go.
Everything is working
the way it's supposed to.
[YELLS]
The bad news is M.I.'s got
a 12-percent casualty drop rate
that's pretty hard to crack.
Five hundred meters to surface.
Retros in three, two, one.
[ALL EXCLAIM]
ONE-OH-ONE:
Bounce back, baby!
Oh, man,
you do that once,
and you wanna do it again.
Just like sex.
Even better.
Oh, yeah.
Not better than sex,
though.
RICO:
Welcome to the Mobile Infantry.
Now, cut the chatter
and get ready
to shit yourselves
all over again.
BABA:
What are you
talking about, sir?
RICO:
Look down, lieutenant.
BABA:
The surface is crawling
with Bugs.
What do we do, sir?
RICO:
Fire at will.
Oh, uh...
Kill them all, apes.
Clear a spot to land.
[BUGS SQUEALING]
[GRUNTING AND YELLING]
Form up.
Hold what you got.
Lieutenant,
get over here.
I can't, sir.
Too many of them!
Fine. Just hold your position.
Lieutenant Baba,
do not use the nuke.
BABA:
Where are you, colonel?
I can't see your beacon.
Four o'clock.
Eight hundred meters.
[SCREAMING]
Oh, shit.
[GROANS]
Reload!
Me too!
No, me first!
[BUG SQUAWKS]
[ALL SCREAM]
[ALL PANTING]
RICO:
Are you all right?
Yeah.
I think so, sir.
Ratzass.
Ratzass, what's your 20?
Lieutenant, go check
on the sergeant major.
Yes, sir.
ONE-OH-ONE:
Colonel, over here.
BABA:
What's wrong with him?
About to find out.
BABA:
Sergeant major?
Oh, God.
Damn it.
Looks like Ratzass popped a seal
and froze to death.
Present arms.
[ALL GASP]
Lost Patrol,
we've got work to do.
ONE-OH-ONE:
More Bugs.
On the bounce!
Again!
Hold your positions.
[ALL PANTING]
MAN: Whoo!
[LAUGHTER]
Follow me.
Plasma Bugs.
If we don't kill them
all tonight,
they'll take Mars by morning.
You can get a speeding ticket
from a satellite,
but the Federation
misses this?
Yeah, someone with experience
screwed this pooch.
Ready nukes.
Lieutenant, you receiving
my fire coordinates?
Yes, sir.
Camacho, come on.
Prepare to fire.
Sound-off ready.
Eyes on target.
CAMACHO: I'm hot.
ONE-OH-ONE: Me too.
RICO:
In three, two, one.
This one's for Ratzass.
Fire. Teach them
not to mess with Mars.
Fall back, troopers.
On the bounce.
[ALL GRUNT]
Watch your rocket fuel.
[GRUNTING]
[COUGHS]
ONE-OH-ONE:
You stuck that landing.
Stop dragging ass,
lieutenant.
[GRUNTS]
Brace for impact!
[DISTANT EXPLOSION]
[CHUCKLES]
Well, I guess
we showed them, huh?
Yeah. And now all their friends
are gonna come looking for us.
When's the rescue boat coming,
sir?
Sometime between
now and never.
Let's move.
I mean, the Fleet, sir.
They gotta be sending the Fleet,
right?
Let's keep moving.
Huh?
Alpha Squad 50-percent
casualty rate.
Delta Squad in full retreat.
This operation's like
slow-motion suicide.
Captain, FedNet has reported
an infestation on Mars.
They've taken
the whole planet.
What?
[ALARM BLARES]
MAN:
Captain, we have two
Federation starships
on tactical approach.
Report.
Unable to confirm ID.
[STATIC CRACKLES OVER MONITORS]
MAN [OVER MONITOR]:
John A. Warden,
this is the Special Branch.
The Special Branch?
What are they doing here?
Captain Carmen Ibanez,
you are hereby relieved
of duty for this operation.
Relinquish command
and surrender your vessel.
What's this about?
Under whose orders?
We don't answer questions
at Special Branch.
Failure to comply is treason
against the Federation.
Stand down,
or we will destroy you.
MAN:
Our vessels are the same, ma'am.
Then we're in luck.
Stay right where you are.
Carl, I don't know why,
but I believe you.
John A. Warden
is breaking away, sir.
She's out of her mind.
Fire at will.
[]
MAN: Captain!
Don't worry.
That beam will never
hit us.
We're in their blind spot.
Crap design.
Captain, I'm afraid
we're losing speed and falling.
Yes, I know.
Prepare to fire
the main thrusters on my signal.
We're going to swing by
and slingshot straight to Mars.
NEWS NARRATOR:
Flashes of light from Mars
tell the tale of a heroic
last stand
between a light platoon of
Mobile Infantry and a Bug army
of 100,000 Arachnid warriors,
and then Mars goes dark.
Federal scientists now believe
an undetected Bug meteor
may have impacted the Martian
Outback three years ago.
Officials refuse to speculate
about how many, if any,
of Mars' human inhabitants
may have survived
the Arachnid sneak attack.
But who should we blame
for this tragedy?
Federal psychologists say
it's most likely Martians.
They also warn us that those
oh-so-Martian yearnings
for personal rights and freedom
are in reality,
primitive, childlike behaviors
that destabilize society
and weaken the human will
to survive.
Would you like to know more?
[FANFARE PLAYING FAINTLY]
It's not just about
our safety.
It's about duty.
It's about the future.
You're right.
Because the future
is everyone's duty.
Hmm. That is sharp.
Very sharp.
Daniel?
Yes, Amy?
Do we have today's numbers?
Your approval rating
is at 82.5 percent.
[LAUGHS]
I almost don't believe it.
Almost.
It is historic.
No other sky marshal
has ever been more popular.
Still, there's always room
for improvement.
The more people hate Martians,
the more they like you.
Speaking of which,
are we moving forward
with the plan?
You tell me.
Is the Q-bomb ready?
Yes, but I'm not sure
if the public is ready.
Oh, they're ready.
They just don't know it yet.
Shall I prepare
a statement?
Please.
Something inspirational
this time.
Ah, maybe hit
some family notes.
[BUTTON CLICKS]
AMY [OVER TV]:
You're right.
Because the future
is everyone's duty.
The only thing missing
is a villain.
The traitor of Mars
is still sleeping it off.
He's dreaming about high school.
High school?
Really?
Can you imagine
what Carl Jenkins
was like in high school?
[ALL CHUCKLE]
Wake him up.
[GRUNTS]
[COUGHS]
What is this thing
you have for Bugs, Carl?
Well, to beat your enemy,
you have to know your enemy.
And I learn something new
every day.
And what did you
learn today?
Someone wanted Mars
to get infested.
And that someone's not you?
You were in the perfect position
to mastermind it.
Amy, please.
What are you going to do
to Mars?
I'm going to save them
from themselves.
A Q-bomb?
Really?
Is that your solution?
Come on, Amy.
Is this about the Federation
or your approval ratings?
I've heard enough.
MAN:
Sweet dreams, Carl.
[SIGHS]
You don't need to worry
about my ratings, Carl.
All it takes is a little
fireworks,
and my ratings will soar.
Sit back and enjoy the show,
general.
Think those Bugs are here
for us too, colonel?
Yeah.
They're watching us.
They're afraid we'll nuke them
if they get too close.
RICO:
Just don't tell them
we're out of nukes.
Stupid Bugs ain't gonna
forget about us anytime soon.
Bet they're just
tired of us nuking them
right up their Bug hole.
[LAUGHS]
Forty-five degree--
Okay...
Come back. Come back.
[GRUNTS]
Can anyone tell me
what the fuck
Lieutenant Baba's doing?
He's working up some kind
of old-time radio rig,
send out an SOS.
He better not SOS the whole damn
hive, get us all killed.
MAN [OVER RADIO]:
This is Martian National Guard.
Please identify
RICO:
Well, I'll be a Martian's uncle.
This is Martian National Guard.
Please identify.
BABA:
George?
I repeat,
this is Martian National Guard.
Uh, I think I may have
got us a ride, sir.
I may have underestimated you,
Lieutenant Baba.
[LAUGHS]
Is that you, coz?
Well, hallelujah!
What the heck you doing out here
in the middle of nowhere?
[LAUGHS]
Uh, we've been nuking Bugs,
George. You?
GEORGE:
I was out here
rescuing our men.
But it appears there
ain't no one left to rescue.
You mean everyone's dead?
Well, no one's picking up,
you hear?
Maybe some of them's down
in the mines.
We got damn overrun.
I never seen so many Bugs
in my life.
Well, they're still
afraid of us.
[RUMBLING]
ALL: Whoa!
Run.
[]
I can't land.
Go. Run for the boat.
Use your retros
and jump onboard.
[BUG SQUEALS]
Camacho, go.
[RICO BREATHING HEAVILY]
[SQUEALS]
Come on!
BABA:
Rico!
No!
[]
Damn it.
CAMACHO:
Colonel.
NEWS ANCHOR:
Mars: To be, or not to be?
That's the big question,
and everybody has an opinion.
MAN 1:
Mars is a Bug planet,
no question.
One Q-bomb will fix that.
Problem solved.
MAN 2:
Low-gravity birth
makes babies stupid,
but instead, we call them
"Martians."
That's a fascinating
perspective. Thank you.
MAN 3:
Any planet that symbolizes
anger,
war, and rampant male sexuality
deserves to be blown up.
A lot of ideas in there.
You've really done
your homework.
WOMAN 1:
Mars is a small,
mediocre planet
that's only popular
because it's red.
[LAUGHS]
That's certainly one way
of looking at it.
Let's find out
what Federation's
smartest woman thinks,
as we take you live
to Space Command.
[PATRIOTIC FLOURISH PLAYS]
ANNOUNCER:
Ladies and gentlemen of
the United Citizens Federation,
Sky Marshal Amy Snapp.
[APPLAUSE]
[APPLAUSE STOPS]
Fellow citizens,
we have ourselves
a problem.
The Arachnid outbreak on Mars is
quickly spinning out of control.
We've lost contact
with her major cities,
and her defenses are down.
You may have heard
that the Federation Fleet
cannot come to the rescue
this time,
because they're busy pummeling
the Bugs in their own backyard.
But rest assured,
fellow citizens,
we have an ace
in the hole.
Ladies and gentlemen...
the Q-bomb.
Planted on Mars
for this very purpose.
No, not everyone
is going to like the idea
of losing a colony
at the press of a button.
But if you've ever been
to the front lines,
then you know that to win
this war,
you need to play
the long game.
Take a look around.
At your friends,
at your loved ones,
and ask yourself
one question:
If we give them Mars,
then what will they want next?
I've assembled a task force
to determine what assets,
if any,
can be recovered
from Mars.
But we must act quickly,
before--
[HIGH-PITCHED BEEP]
[GASPS SOFTLY]
Before sensitive targets
are compromised
by Arachnid incursion.
We can't afford to wait,
because...
[GASPS]
...we're not about to let Bugs
pry into our little secrets.
[TONE BEEPS]
I'm gonna kill
that son of a bitch!
Johnny.
Johnny.
Johnny Rico.
Wake up, Johnny.
You can't sleep all day.
Come on, Johnny.
[RICO GROANS SOFTLY]
Okay, fine.
[GROANS]
Seriously?
[SIGHS]
Oh, Johnny.
[]
Feeling better?
Am I...
dead?
[MOANS]
What the...?
Are you...
Diz?
[LAUGHS]
I knew that would work.
You died
at Whiskey Outpost.
Wait. Am I dead too?
No, silly.
But the way you sleep,
you might as well be.
Where am I?
Oh, shit.
[GRUNTS]
Mars.
I'm on Mars.
Yup.
Mars needs you.
And I need you
to get rolling.
[RICO PANTING]
Right.
The Bugs.
Exactly.
The Bugs.
[CHUCKLES]
You are such a little genius.
What--?
What about my guys,
The Lost Patrol?
Water.
I need water.
[PANTS AND COUGHS]
Well, that shouldn't be
too hard.
I need water.
[PANTING]
I keep drinking,
but I'm still thirsty.
Drink some more.
Are you a ghost?
No.
So I'm not dead.
Can the dead walk?
No.
Then keep walking.
[PANTING]
Get up, Rico.
I...
What's your malfunction?
Okay.
Are you dying on me?
What?
I said, are you
dying on me, trooper?
No.
No, what?
No, sir.
Then move
your candy ass.
Yes, sir.
[]
[ALARM BEEPING]
GEORGE & BABA:
Whoa!
I don't get it, sir.
Where's the Fleet?
Don't ask me. MarsNet's down.
Everything's down.
[MONITOR BEEPING]
GEORGE: Oh, dang it.
What kind of pilot
blasts off on empty?
I wasn't thinking, coz.
I was scared.
What if the Fleet
isn't coming, sir?
Of course the Fleet's coming.
They have to.
What, they're gonna just
ditch us? And all of Mars too?
We about to ditch Mars
our damn selves.
You think Terran citizens
are gonna care
about a few
stranded Martians?
They'd better at least
pretend to care.
We haven't left
the Federation just yet.
What are you doing, Baba?
I'm trying to get some of
our ass-kicking fight up
on FedBook,
but I can't get connected.
Bug plasma probably fried
the com satellites.
So are you sure
I'm not dead?
Will you stop
asking me that already?
Well, it just...
made sense
that I might be dead.
Made sense?
Not everything makes sense,
Johnny boy.
You're alive and well.
And the Federation's
going to crack
their own colony
with a Q-bomb.
Q-bomb?
You want me
to take care of it?
No. I need you
to take care of it.
Do it for me, Johnny.
Please.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
For you.
Good.
I just don't know where
the hell it is.
Oh, that's the easy part.
It's under
an old terraforming tower.
We're already
halfway there.
Yes, sir.
[CHUCKLES]
DIZ:
Do you remember
high school?
RICO:
I remember football.
And enlistment.
That's about it.
Oh, and that
asshole, Zander.
Heh. Zander.
What a prick.
What about
your friends, Johnny?
Friends?
I don't know.
I had a few.
Not really sure
where they all went.
Well, what about Carl?
Weren't you guys
best friends or something?
Yeah, I guess so.
But that was
a long time ago.
Carl changed.
He's a general now, and it's
almost like he's too big
to be friends with.
I mean,
it's not his fault.
He's busy saving
the whole Federation.
Yeah.
But I guess he could try
a little harder.
Let's not get our hopes up.
DIZ: Come on, Johnny.
COMPUTER VOICE: Come on, Johnny.
We are friends, aren't we?
We are friends, aren't we?
Johnny!
What?
[SCREECHES]
[]
[SCREECHING]
Come on!
[GRUNTING]
[SQUEALING]
[GASPING]
[]
[BLOWS STRIKING]
[GRUNTING IN PAIN]
Try any stupid mind tricks,
and we will kill you.
Do you get me?
Yes, I get you
coming and going.
What the hell was that,
Carl?
Classic speech, Amy.
Really sorted things out
for the masses.
"If you love your family,
then you should
let me blow up Mars--"
Shut up.
[CARL GRUNTS]
The people need
an explanation, Carl.
And they prefer one that
tastes good and goes down easy.
This isn't
a popularity contest.
Leading the Federation
is about responsibility.
No. It's all
about ratings, Carl.
And you screwed
with mine.
I guess I know my enemy.
General Carl Jenkins,
you are hereby charged
with sedition
and conspiracy against
the United Citizen Federation.
At 1600 hours,
the Federal Council
will convene
to hear your case
and when you are found guilty,
witness your execution.
Is there anything
you wish to say at this time?
Yes.
I beg you, Amy.
Don't blow up Mars.
Take it back from the Bugs
and return it
to the Martian people.
Show them, show everyone
just how big
the Federation really is.
Too late.
Mars is fucked.
In a few hours,
you'll be dead, Carl.
Then I can
get back to work
and blow up Mars as a warning
to any future colony
that will not bend
to the Federal will.
It's an epic,
elegant revenge.
It's so you, Amy.
Except you went
and made me the fall guy.
[AMY GASPING]
You broke my nose!
You fuck!
Now it's your turn, Johnny.
Johnny.
God, no.
Diz, I kicked ass.
Yeah, trooper.
You kicked ass.
[ELECTRONIC BEEPING]
Battery's dead.
Can't move.
Let's get you out
of that.
Good idea.
[BODY ARMOR
THUMPING AND CLANKING]
It's good
to see you again, Johnny.
It's been too long,
that's for sure.
DIZ:
The last thing I remember
is that night in Tango Urilla.
You were everything
I ever wished for.
You were everything
and a bit more.
Where'd you learn
to do that, anyway?
Johnny!
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
It's true.
I wish it could've lasted
a lifetime.
Oh, Johnny.
You're making me cry.
You know
I fucking hate this shit.
You started it, Diz.
You got the whole ball
rolling, really.
I just
never picked it up.
Oh, stop it.
You were just fine,
Johnny.
Really.
There.
That old
terraforming tower?
Yeah.
It's there.
Just raring to blow.
Who wants
to blow up Mars, Diz, and why?
Unfortunately, that's
a long, sad story.
Which happens
to be classified.
Classified?
Diz?
DIZ:
You'll find a way, Johnny.
You always do.
Oh, my God!
Oh, crap, what now?
Colonel Rico's
still alive!
Well,
how's that's bad?
Well, it's not bad,
it's good.
But it means
we left a man behind.
Mobile Infantry
doesn't leave people behind.
That's right. Now it's
our turn to do some rescuing.
You mean
go back to Mars?
We gotta get Colonel Rico back.
Fuck, yeah!
Now, look here, amigos,
what you're talking about
is a one-way rocket
right back to Bug city.
We're
the Mobile Infantry.
It's time
to get mobile.
Yeah. Don't ask why.
Ask why not.
Well, okay.
But how am I supposed
to land without retros?
You're the pilot.
Look for someplace soft.
Too bad
your head's not bigger.
[LAUGHTER]
[GRAVEL SHIFTING]
[]
[BUGS SCREECHING]
[THINKING]
Damn Bugs. You kill one,
and there's 10 more
to take its place.
[]
[GUN CLICKS]
Damn it.
You picked
a good day to die.
[GRUNTS]
[SCREECHES]
[]
[PANTING]
It is
a good day to die!
Okay.
BABA [OVER COMM]:
Head down, Colonel!
What?
Incoming!
BABA [OVER COMM]:
Colonel, are you okay?
Lieutenant Baba?
TROOPERS [OVER COMM]:
Hoo-ah!
Yes, sir, Colonel!
We knew
you'd make it.
[CHUCKLES]
[BOTH GRUNT]
This is not good.
Oh, my God.
No.
Everybody, jump.
This landing
ain't gonna be pretty.
Hey, what about you?
I am a mighty
Martian warrior,
as good as y'all,
and probably a whole lot better.
[GEORGE GRUNTING]
Kill them all!
See you, coz.
CAMACHO:
I thought he was funny.
And at least
he went out with a bang.
Yeah.
Colonel!
All right.
It's so great
to see you, sir.
Yeah. We're kind
of running out of time.
What's the situation,
Lieutenant?
Well, sir, we thought
it was pretty bad.
No sign of the Fleet,
and you left behind on Mars,
and no connection
to FedNet, even.
The Federation's
blown us off, sir.
BABA: Why are they doing this?
ONE-OH-ONE: Left us behind, sir.
CAMACHO:
Is it because
we're Martians?
There are no Martians
in my Mobile Infantry.
Only troopers
who follow orders.
Awaiting your orders, sir.
Good.
Our next mission
begins immediately.
We need to get to
that old terraforming tower.
[PATRIOTIC FLOURISH PLAYS]
[ALARM SOUNDING]
Fellow citizens,
today is a sad day, indeed.
Mars has gone silent,
her surface overwhelmed
by Arachnids
with no sign of survivors,
military or civilian.
We now stand
at a critical juncture.
After weighing our options,
I now believe
there is
only one thing left to do.
We must dare to destroy Mars.
Our war against the Bugs
cannot be won by committee,
or by debate,
or by due process.
It can only be won
by citizens who have
the guts to do what's right.
To make the hard decisions
that will ensure our safety,
and indeed,
the survival of our species.
Oh, Mars.
We forgive you for your fleeting
captivation with independence.
We will remember you
for your frontier spirit
and your sheer will
to survive.
And most of all, your refusal to
let Bugs set foot on your soil.
Long live Mars,
the god of war.
You have earned
my deepest respect.
And by my authority
as sky marshal,
I hereby grant you
eternal rest
along with all those Bugs!
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
[COUNTDOWN BEEPING]
[BEEPING]
Huh?
Sorry to interrupt,
Sky Marshal,
but someone
has sabotaged MarsNet.
The citizens need to know
that we're still
in the fight for Mars.
What? No.
Captain.
I'm connected live
to Fort Kilo.
The Mobile Infantry
is alive and well.
But--
That's impossible.
See for yourself, Sky Marshal.
Are we live?
BABA: We're on.
Rico here.
While engaging the enemy,
we discovered a live Q-bomb.
The thing was set
to blow by mistake,
so we shut
the thing down, pronto.
Yeah.
Just in time too, thanks
to some Martian troopers.
Hope that wasn't a problem.
We're gonna keep fighting,
and we're gonna kill
a lot of damn Bugs.
Lost Patrol.
ALL:
Hoo-ah!
We got this!
Mars ain't done for yet.
We're gonna cook up
some real Bug-BQ.
[TROOPERS LAUGHING]
ONE-OH-ONE:
With some sauce.
No. No.
So don't you worry,
Sky Marshal.
We're still here,
and we're gonna keep fighting.
And we're gonna win!
TROOPERS:
Hoo-ah!
CAMACHO:
Uh-oh! Colonel, look at that!
[]
RICO:
Well, here we go again.
Shit.
[SQUEALS]
RICO: Fire!
[GROANS]
It looks like all the Bugs
are coming to this picnic.
If only there were a way
to crash their little party.
BABA:
Sir, the Bugs are gonna
tear this place apart.
Geo.
What happens if
you turn that thing on?
GEO:
You mean, like,
make some weather?
I mean rip the sky apart.
Can you do that?
The core's power's still live.
I think we can manage.
Do it.
I want full power.
We're going
for balls-out overload.
Give me 10 minutes.
Hey, Camacho,
you wanna help?
You bet!
[BUGS SCREECHING]
Lost Patrol,
Geo needs 10 minutes.
Make sure he gets it.
DUTCH:
What happens after 10 minutes?
They gonna make it rain?
Like Bugs
give a shit about water.
BABA:
No, that ain't how it works.
They're gonna overload
the reactor
and blow up the atmosphere.
Well, what about us?
Oh, shit.
Flip everything to full power.
CAMACHO: You got it.
Seems easy enough.
[BUZZES]
[BUZZES]
[TURBINE POWERING UP]
Geo's doing
some good work.
Yeah, if you like watching
the whole world come apart.
You wanna live forever,
Lieutenant?
No, but a little longer
would be okay.
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
We're born
and raised on Mars.
Never seen storms
like this.
[SCREAMS]
Yeah!
[LAUGHS MANIACALLY]
[]
Too bad the good citizens
of the Federation
can't see this.
Yeah,
they ought to know
that someone's
still holding the line.
CARMEN [OVER COMM]:
The whole Federation's been
watching you guys,
this whole time.
RICO [OVER COMM]:
Carmen.
BABA:
Whoo-hoo! She's right.
My camera's linked to FedNet.
BABA:
Whoo-hoo! She's right.
My camera's linked to FedNet.
MALE REPORTER:
The Federation may have decided
that Mars is a lost cause
but not these troopers,
with their leader, Johnny Rico.
That's me!
Ha, ha! That's me!
DUTCH:
What?
You shitting me?
Yeah, look.
Eyes up.
[SQUEALS]
ONE-OH-ONE:
I can't hold them
much longer, Colonel.
We gotta blow
the bridge.
Not yet, we don't.
Geo makes the call.
Excuse me
while I rip the sky.
That's the last one.
We're in business.
That does it. This tower
is now one big weather bomb.
Good work, troopers.
Everyone in the Lost Patrol
is a hero today.
I'm gonna savor this moment
the rest of my life.
All five minutes of it.
One-Oh-One,
kill the bridge.
Roger.
Lost Patrol,
let the Bugs have this.
Geo, we're coming up.
Then we're getting
the hell out of here.
Getting out?
Which way is out?
Follow me.
Geo, how many
minutes we got?
GEO [OVER COMM]:
Eight, maybe?
BABA:
Ha! "Maybe"?
You've gotta be kidding me.
[SCREECHES]
[DUTCH GRUNTING]
BABA:
Dutch!
Why do I always
get ripped in half?
RICO:
Dutch!
Fuck.
BABA: Oh, Dutch.
The Bugs really
did have his number.
[SCREECHING IN DISTANCE]
What the hell?
[GASPS]
ONE-OH-ONE:
Don't look good, Lieutenant.
Yeah, Colonel,
we're so screwed.
Fall back to the tower.
And then what?
Kill them all. What else?
That's right.
We're Mobile Infantry.
We don't give up.
Fuck you!
Colonel, we got Bugs
in the house.
ONE-OH-ONE:
Bugs, man.
No matter where you go,
there's always
freaking Bugs, man.
[BUGS SCREECHING]
ONE-OH-ONE:
Reload.
RICO:
Look out.
[GRUNTS]
[GASPING]
CAMACHO:
Come on.
This way!
This place
is going to blow.
Let's go, troopers!
RICO:
We're not dead yet.
Go, go, go, go, go!
[BUGS CONTINUE SCREECHING]
[]
How high
we gonna go?
RICO:
Higher than the Bugs.
Oh, man.
They're everywhere, man.
Oh, shit.
Oh, my God.
There's so many Bugs.
Are we gonna
make it out of here?
Who knows? I'm not ready
to give up yet. Are you?
What are you, some kind of hero?
BABA: Yeah.
Because a hero
always makes it back home.
I like that, Lieutenant.
If we live through this,
I might get it tattooed
on my ass.
Maybe I'll let you fight
in my Mobile Infantry after all.
CAMACHO:
Awesome.
CARMEN [OVER COMM]:
Sounds like you guys are
having fun down there.
RICO: Is that you, Carmen?
CARMEN: Yeah.
RICO: Where are you?
I'm heading in now.
But you're
making things difficult
with this weather system.
CARMEN:
No one can fly
in this mess.
RICO:
Except for you, Carmen.
You can fly through anything.
ONE-OH-ONE:
They're gaining on us.
Shake 'em off.
RICO:
Move out.
RICO:
Carmen, over here.
CARMEN [OVER COMM]:
Yeah, only there is one thing.
What?
What's the problem?
Nowhere to touch down.
With these winds,
I'm barely staying afloat.
[CARMEN GRUNTS]
RICO:
You all right?
Barely.
Uh, colonel?
What?
I'm thinking
we got two minutes.
Maybe less.
CAMACHO: Colonel.
RICO: Now what?
CAMACHO:
Over there.
On the other side of the tower.
They're piling up
the wall.
Roger that, Camacho.
You hear that, Carmen?
No time.
Open the hatch and hover.
What's the plan?
Just open the hatch.
Just a simple question.
Come on, you apes.
Jump for it.
ALL:
Hoo-ah!
I can't, sir.
What do you mean,
you can't?
You wanna die here?
One, you go.
Ladies first.
Somebody jump!
[YELLING]
That idiot.
Come on.
Thanks.
Here goes.
I got you.
[CHUCKLES]
On the bounce, Lieutenant.
Move it or lose it.
[THRUSTERS SPUTTER]
I'm all out
of jump juice, Colonel.
You go on without me.
Not gonna happen,
Lieutenant.
You're going home,
and that's an order.
Bring her down.
You got it.
[BOTH GRUNTING]
[]
Camacho!
Good job, trooper.
I got you.
[ALL GRUNT]
Let's get off
this rock.
Hold on tight,
troopers.
[GRUNTS]
Any moment now.
[]
Oh, hey, guys.
Carl? What are you
doing here?
It's great to see you too.
Doesn't that chair belong
to the sky marshal?
She's taking
a couple of personal days.
I'm just keeping things moving
until she gets back.
I'd never dream
of being sky marshal.
So Amy Snapp's just gonna
get away with it?
That's politics,
Johnny boy.
Did you know there were Bugs
on Mars too, Carl?
Hmph.
And you just let it happen?
Carmen.
How could you even think
such a thing?
Very funny.
But this is the war
we can never stop fighting.
The Bugs will never quit.
And if we do,
we're dead.
For a few thousand years,
we humans enjoyed
the relative peace
of fighting amongst ourselves.
And then we reached
for the stars.
I mean,
what did we think
would happen?
Well, thinking's your job,
Carl.
I'm the guy
who follows orders.
I like that.
Now, go take back Mars
from the Bugs,
will you, General Rico?
Yes, sir.
[SCOFFS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
What?
It's always good
to see you, Carl.
[DOOR CLOSES]
[]
There was a massive fire
around us.
It looked like
it was gonna get bad.
Officer on deck.
At ease.
You troopers got
something special.
Something
everyone wants.
You lived to tell the tale.
[ALL CHUCKLE]
[]
Congratulations,
troopers.
You are born again hard
and I am proud
to serve with you
in the Mobile Infantry.
ALL:
Yeah!
All right!
We're gonna go
have a beer, sir.
Toast Mars, you know?
Wanna come?
Thanks.
I gotta hit the sack.
That's why they call him
the "old man," heh.
[ALL LAUGH]
ONE-OH-ONE: Yeah.
Lieutenant,
can I have a word with you?
Yes, sir.
I wonder what you'd do
if you found out
that Sky Marshal Snapp
let the Bugs start
a colony on Mars
so she'd have
an excuse to blow it up.
Is that what
you're telling me, sir?
I'm saying
everyone's got a right
to fight
for what's theirs,
maybe most especially
Martians.
From one Martian to another,
good work, Lieutenant.
Tomorrow,
we kill them all again.
See you on the bounce.
Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.
Uh... Bounce good, sir.
Roger that,
Lieutenant.
What did Snapp know,
and when did she know it?
[PATRIOTIC FLOURISH PLAYS]
MALE REPORTER:
Anti-Federal activist MarzCo
is asking a musical question
that's on everyone's lips.
Federal opinion polls show
Sky Marshal Snapp's
approval ratings
are in question.
No one doubts her genius,
but can she lead?
Would you like to--?
We'll leave it to MarzCo.
MAN:
What did Snapp know
And when did she know it?
What the fuck did Snapp know
And when did she know it?
BABA:
Officer on deck.
RICO:
Today, you're going to locate
a medium-sized Bug colony...
and kill them all!
ALL:
Yeah!
Come on, you apes.
You wanna live forever?
ALL:
Hoo-ah!
[]
[]
What did Snapp know?
And when did she know it?
What did Snapp know?
What did Snapp know?
What did Snapp know?
And when did she know it?
What did Snapp know?
[]
[]
[]