Doc...
those pills you gave me
for my back,
I'm not sure that they work.
Well, I'm not sure either,
but you don't
hear me complain.
Step by the office
at the end of the afternoon.
Thanks, Doc.
They're kidding, right?
No, they're not kidding.
This is your movie.
This is small town America.
The town in New Hampshire
was small town America, too.
$40,000 a day
to shoot on the street
and then
they kick us out.
That's life
in the movie business.
But look here--
a jacket for $5.
I could buy this
whole town for 50 bucks.
You told me that
about the last town.
Yeah, but they never
shot a movie here.
I'm bleeding, Bill.
I'm bleeding.
Why am I here?
What do they got
to pass for the old mill?
There you go.
The Waterford Mill.
Built in 1825.
A longtime tourist attraction.
Wake up, Umberto.
We're here.
- Where are we?
- Give him a cigarette.
They send the old mill
from New Hampshire?
They're holding
our old mill for ransom.
- We build one.
- They got one.
We build a fire hut.
Okay, but we have to
lose the window.
We can't lose the window.
Then I can't
do the shot, Wally...
You want me to push in
through the window.
Look.
I can't push in
through the window.
We go back
to New Hampshire, eh?
No, we can't ever
go back to New Hampshire.
No, we're going to
stay here.
This is what
my people die for--
the right to make a movie
in this town.
What was wrong
with the old traffic light?
I'm glad you asked.
I'll tell you
what was wrong with it,
it was behind the times.
- Good morning, darling.
- Morning.
You want to bring
business to this town,
you have to plan
for a Waterford
that does not exist.
Not at this moment, no.
You have to live
in the present, folks.
You can not live
in the past.
Good morning.
- Hi, Annie.
- Hi, Carla.
I'm going to be a little late
for the rehearsal tonight.
It's okay, Maude.
Do you know your lines?
I know them.
I don't know
what order they come in.
We'll work it out.
Now, what shall we have
that's good to eat?
- What are they on about?
- Traffic light.
Jack's right.
Public office
is a public trust.
This is why
this is America.
That's right.
The question is
who owns the street?
That is the question.
Lots of room.
Uh huh.
Marty!
We got a new town.
Yeah, it's a--
Where are we again?
Waterford, Vermont.
Waterford, Vermont.
It's--
Where is it?
That's where it is?
Here, talk to Bill.
You have got to get me
Main Street for nothing.
I will.
Marty, Bill.
Okay, put her on.
Yup.
Kathy,
stand by.
Everyone goes
to Waterford, Vermont.
Well, look on
a bigger map.
God, she makes
me cranky.
May I help you?
Yeah, I'd like to speak
to the manager.
Would you like
a room?
No, we want to rent
the whole hotel.
Because.
Because we don't
have to build an old mill.
They have an old mill.
Yeah, it's on a stream.
That's where you put
an old mill.
- They run on water.
- Uh huh.
Okay, I'm looking at--
I've got scene 12.
Come in.
Uh huh.
Thank you.
Shouldn't you be
in school?
It's night.
Scene 12,
the arrival at the mill.
All right, work it out
and get back to me.
Mr. Price?
What?
What is it?
We're working.
Bring it in on time
and there's more
where these came from.
Marty.
P.S., I want to talk to you
about a product tie-in.
Somebody make a note.
I want for the broad--
What does she like?
Lilacs.
A truckload of lilacs
when the broad comes.
And get something
for Bob Barrenger.
Get him--
What does he like?
Bob Barrenger? Bob Barrenger
is in this movie?
- That's correct.
- He's staying here?
Put something in his room.
What does he like?
Well, get him
something else.
Let's try to get out
of this town in one piece.
Get him half
a 28-year-old girl.
How's my math?
Who wanted these storyboards?
Sound department said
there's no hold up
on the KMR-81.
Two of the caterers
are down with botulism.
And Umberto tells me
he can't take this shot
unless they let him
take out the Firehouse window.
I need my lucky pillow.
I need to talk to you
about her nude scene.
I need that permit
to shoot on Main Street.
I need to speak
to the mayor.
- Well, speak to him.
- We can't find him.
Are you ever in school?
There are other things
to be learned.
Is that true?
Like what?
Like the mayor's here.
- What's his name?
- Mr. Bailey.
- Hi, Mr. Bailey.
- You've got to do these again.
Okay.
Mr. Bailey.
Mr. Bailey, Walt Price.
I'm going to be
your director.
I lost my typewriter.
I have to tell you,
I can not express to you
- how happy--
- We're glad to have you here.
No phone calls.
I'm with the mayor.
Yes, can I speak
to my wife, please?
This isn't our firehouse.
No, that's a firehouse
in New Hampshire.
Why did you
leave New Hampshire?
Would you like a cigar?
Aren't these illegal?
Why would they
be illegal?
Well, the trade embargo
against Cuba.
Nobody tells me anything.
Well, you know, uh...
I'd like to say that
anything I can do--
That's very kind of you.
As a matter of fact,
I'd hate to bother you
with this...
We need a shooting permit
for Main Street.
Whatever you need.
Uh, the city council,
of course, will have to--
The city council.
-- will have to pass
on your permit.
But that's less than
a formality.
It is?
I am the city council.
Well, Mr. Mayor,
that's very kind of you.
My wife would like
to invite you
to have dinner with us
at our home.
And I hate to be
a pain about this--
Oh, I would be delighted,
are you kidding me?
Well, well, I won't
take more of your time.
No, not at all.
I can't imagine
the responsibility--
Actually I can imagine
because
once I had to video my
grandniece's confirmation...
Walt, it's Marty
on the coast.
We'll see you
Tuesday for dinner.
It was one of the great,
great pleasures meeting you.
Thank you.
Bye bye.
I found
your lucky pillow.
It's Marty on the coast.
Of course
he's on the coast.
Where's he going to be,
the Hauge?
What?
Marty, hi?
The new town's cheaper
than the old town.
We're going to save
a fortune.
Because? Because we don't
have to rebuild the old mill.
They've got an old mill.
They've got a firehouse--
Baby, baby, baby,
I want to save the money
just as much as you do.
Just put it on the end
of the counter there.
Right on the counter.
Whoa? Whoa whoa whoa?
You wiped out the board?
Dinner with the mayor.
Write it big.
That's just what we need,
to miss dinner with the mayor.
Marty, we've got to talk
about this schedule.
I got to have an extra day
on the dead horse gag.
I'm serious.
No, it gets worse.
I need another half day
on the old mill pond.
We can't shoot
in the old mill.
Marty, uh...
call me back in two minutes.
We can't shoot
in the old mill.
I just talked to the mayor.
He told me anything we need.
- It burnt down.
- When did it burn down?
Part of a spate
of suspicious fires.
The old mill--
You told me they had
an old mill.
by a disturbed teenager,
were in fact the inspiration
for the Waterford Huskies.
Hi.
Does it have to be an old mill?
Where have you been?
I was in New Hampshire.
I was at the old location.
We can't shoot
the old mill.
You know, they told me
there were going to be jokes.
Kid the new guy.
That's not quite it.
The old mill burned down.
Can't you build
the old mill?
We're out of money.
You built the old mill
in New Hampshire.
They're holding
the old mill for ransom.
Oh.
Why did we have to
leave New Hampshire?
Hello, Marty.
What would they have used
instead of an old mill?
I need it tonight.
Yeah, Marty,
you were saying?
I can't write it.
Why?
I lost my typewriter.
Get Mr. White a typewriter.
I can only write on manual.
I know the feeling.
Typewriter for Mr. White?
You know, that's a lie.
- That's a real fault.
- It's not a lie.
It's a gift for fiction.
Off you go.
Bill.
How big is this horse?
What is that in fingers?
Just kidding.
Get me this horse.
That horse is booked.
Tell the guy--
Get me this horse?
Tell the guy...
I'll give him
an Associate Producer credit.
I'll give the horse
an Associate Producer credit.
Put a VHS,
an air conditioner
and a refrigerator
in that room,
she's gonna blow.
The labor with the first child
can sometimes be prolonged.
What's an Associate
Producer credit?
It's what you give
to your secretary
instead of a raise.
This isn't Evian water.
It's water.
Can't sign for it, sorry.
She's going to blow.
Well, you rewire.
I rewire it, I have
to tear out half the wall.
I'm looking
for my typewriter.
- Bill, I found lilacs.
- Put them in her room.
Tommy, you got to send
somebody running
for a new dead horse.
Did they find
my typewriter?
- Bob! Bob!
- Oh, my God.
Mr. Barrenger, Mr. Barrenger!
I told you, all of you.
Get back, get back.
This man is a guest here.
Hi, I'm uh...
Oh, sir, I know
who you are.
...Bob Barrenger.
I'm with the movie.
Sir, we're so...
We're so--
Front!
I've seen--
I know everybody says this,
but I've seen
every one of your movies.
Show Mr. Barrenger
to his room.
Your room is 214
through 17.
I'm Scott Larkin.
Anything you need,
this is my private line.
Oh, thank you
very much, Scottie.
I'm just here to do
a job like the rest--
- Hey, Bob!
- Hey, Tommy.
I heard your wife's
having a baby.
Do they know
who the father is?
They think
it's your first wife.
Oh, that could be.
Now get out of here.
I'm going to get
you a list
of Mr. Barrenger's
dietary requirements.
- Mr. Barrenger!
- Chuckie, not today.
Mr. Barrenger
has just arrived.
Oh, that's all right.
Chuckie.
How do you
spell that, son?
With an ie?
Chuck, what are
your hobbies?
Baseball?
Baseball?
Chuckie...
that's the national sport.
Thank you.
Here you go, Dad.
I'll tell you what else.
In the land of freedom
we get to choose
what we have for breakfast.
You think that's nothing?
Go live under communism.
Here's your bowl of kasha.
Eat it and shut up.
Vanilla frapp,
two tuna BLTs,
What's a tuna BLT?
It's for
the movie people.
Well, I for one am glad
of a little diversion
and I'm glad
they're here.
What I'm saying is,
we have to look out
for our own.
They want to close
down Main Street.
You want to talk
about Main Street,
why don't you fix
the pot hole?
Doug, it's--
what, three days?
Three, four days?
You know what
we're gonna have?
A record of our
wonderful life.
Why don't you stick
to the amateur theatricals?
This is not quite
the same thing, you see.
This is big business
in which our life
is no less a commodity than--
Help me out here.
Water or mineral deposits?
Well, that's what I'm saying.
I think that they're nice.
I'm sure they are.
As nice as they are...
they should be thankful
they can choose their breakfast.
Why? Because they don't
live under communism.
Communism's over.
That's what they said
about Warner Brothers in 1985.
But if you look at their
price per share today...
Well, hard to argue
with that.
Dad, I've got to go to
Terry's house to study tonight.
I want you home by 9:00.
I want to tell you something.
You stay soft all your life,
people will despise you.
It awakens adverse in them.
They take advantage of you.
And that's human nature.
Oh, are you going to be
home tonight?
I might have something
important to tell you.
What is it,
a surprise?
That's right.
She could have
done better than him.
It takes all kinds.
That's what
it takes?
I always wondered
what it took.
Excuse me.
Your sign says
you'd be back at 2:00.
It's a quarter
to 3:00.
Oh.
Uh...
You doing a play?
Local drama group.
Northern Books.
No, it hasn't come in yet.
As soon as it does.
You too, Marge.
A little, small town, I suppose
you have to make your own fun.
Everybody makes
their own fun.
If you don't make it yourself
it ain't fun,
it's entertainment.
See my point?
Northern Books.
What can I do for you?
I need a typewriter.
We got them.
North--
No,
Henry James was the novelist,
Frank James was a criminal.
Yup, you came
to the right place.
Jesse James
was the brother...
of the novelist,
that's right.
That's all right, Suzy.
See you tomorrow.
Okay.
I want to rent this one.
Why don't you buy it?
Only 40 bucks.
I had one,
but they lost it.
You buy this typewriter,
I will get it
all spruced up for you,
good as new.
Better than new
because it has
some history.
The other one
had history, too.
I wrote my play on it.
You wrote a play on it?
What play is that?
You never heard of it.
What's it called?
Anguish.
Anguish,
by Joseph Turner White.
You're Joseph
Turner White?
- That's right.
- Good afternoon, Annie.
Girls, this man
wrote this play.
Is that a fact?
Well, is it a good play?
Yes, Maude, it is.
It's a very good play.
A very good play indeed.
What's he doing here?
What are you doing here?
Writing the movie.
You're writing the movie?
Yeah.
What's it about?
It's about
the quest for purity.
Scene blah blah blah,
they meet.
Sister, I've just
come from a fire.
There are some things
I want to think out?
That's bad because?
Because he wouldn't
say that.
Look, Sister,
I've just come from a fire.
There are some things
I want to think out.
Come on.
Come on.
Leave me alone?
A gesture? All right?
What else?
Page three.
It's a nice evening.
I'm not gonna
say that,
It's a nice evening.
- Yeah, okay.
- Come on.
Yeah? Come in?
Joe?
You know Bob?
I grew up
on your movies.
Do you mind if I don't
go through the usual bullshit
about how much I loved it?
I mean, okay, fine,
but it's a motion picture.
You're gonna
bore them to death.
Come in?
I brought your sandwich.
Thanks, honey.
Next time bring two.
Save yourself a trip.
The people came to see
a motion picture.
Hold on.
No, no,
you can go.
Page five.
The fucking horse dies.
You know,
she could be in the movie.
- She could.
- Oh, boy.
She's got a good face.
She could be the doctor's--
Why does it
have to be his wife?
- It could be his, uh...
- Stick to business, will you?
- Can we do that?
- You're absolutely right.
You go start doing that stuff
in this town...
Hey, everybody
needs a hobby.
Okay, look, page--
Claire.
You know Bob Barrenger?
I just saw Desert Sun.
I want to tell you...
No, I was...
I was just learning on it.
How did you like working
with Richard Hill?
I loved it.
Joe White.
How can I thank you?
How can I repay you
for this part?
It's a...
What a...
Thank you for this part.
The first scene
at the old mill--
Joe's been having some thoughts
about the old mill scene.
What is there
to think about?
The scene is perfect.
I get to say--
Yeah, but Joe's been--
He's been having a few thoughts.
How many times
in your life
do you get
a speech like that?
Yeah.
This scene is why
I'm doing the movie.
Look at the mill, Frank.
Look at the way
it goes around.
Half the time
the darn wheel's under water,
but still
it rises up, Frank.
It rises up
as high as it can go.
Tsk.
Yeah.
Um, that's true.
Joe, you want to, um--
you want to tell Claire
about the thoughts
you've been having
about the old mill scene?
So young. So innocent.
So full of promise.
I beg your pardon?
I've got your typewriter.
I don't need it,
I quit.
- You quit?
- Quit the movie.
Why'd you quit?
Hey, why in the world
would you quit?
Why I quit
is not important,
but thank you
for your help.
Uh huh.
Actually, I'm not sure
if I quit.
I think I got fired.
No.
I'm such a liar,
I never could tell the truth.
Don't be hard
on yourself.
But I just got
kicked off my first movie.
Well, everybody
has reversals.
If you were
never down,
how would you know
when you were up?
You have a gift
for words.
It's in your play.
Oh.
Evening, Annie.
See you at rehearsal.
You know your line?
Rise. One need not bend the knee
before the throne of justice.
Go, you Huskies.
Go, you Huskies.
He leaves the clothing
out all night?
Yup.
Isn't he afraid
it's going to get stolen?
Ain't worth stealing.
Only thing in town
worth anything
is that
stained glass window.
Waterford historic
firehouse, 1851.
Did you ever wonder
why the dalmatian
is the symbol
of the firehouse?
The first organized
fire department
was on the border
of Dalmatia and Sardinia
in the year 642.
That's why
the dalmatian?
It was either that
or a sardine.
Morning, Bucky.
Here you go, pal.
You grew up here?
Central High and matinees
at the Bijou Theater.
- Nice town.
- Oh, yeah.
Do you want
to talk about it?
Uh uh.
You see...
the sanctity
of every day things.
Every day things, yes.
For example,
the heat's coming
from a fire,
and um--
That's a fine house.
You know when you look at that
you know nice people live there.
I live there.
Really?
The porch swing
and everything?
Surest thing you know.
I don't mean
to impose, but...
do you think we might...
That's what
the swing's there for.
That's what
the swing is there for?
Uh huh.
That's its purpose,
isn't it?
I always thought so.
It's such
a pleasant sound.
Uh huh.
Because it's...
it's the simple things.
Well, there you are.
And have I got
big news for you.
This is Joe White
and this is... this is...
uh uh...
my fianc,
Doug Mc Kenzie.
It's a pleasure.
Guess who is this close
to a nomination to State Senate,
which is this close
to one step from Congress?
Who?
It was lovely
meeting--
Mr. White
is working on the movie.
It's a pleasure
meeting you.
- And we were just--
- Let me tell you,
they were a bit
coy at first.
I told them, look,
the people are tired.
They're going to vote
their pocket book, yes,
but they're going
to vote their heart.
How do I know?
I'm out there
with them every day.
Go down
to the lumber mills,
go down
to the truck stops
and you'll see people
of this great land
working, playing,
moving...
What happened in 1975?
The 19--
Don't run off.
Don't run off.
We need you.
You know why?
You're why we're here.
Your script
is why we're here.
Big deal,
we fight a little bit.
You show me
a family that doesn't.
But we've got
something good here.
You know what it is?
We're here to make
a movie.
We can't use
the old mill.
That happens.
What you got to do,
you've got to figure out
the essence.
What is it
that brought us all here?
It wasn't a building, Joe.
It was an idea.
What is the essence
of your story, Joe?
It's about a man
who gets a second chance.
Then you write that.
And then this is
our second chance.
That's why
we're all here.
I want to make
a good film.
I know you do!
Maybe it will be
a better film
without the old mill.
Hey, it's with the gods.
We don't have the money.
We got to write it out,
the best or not.
And that's a lesson.
Did you get
your typewriter yet?
No.
Grace,
get on the other phone.
Get Mr. White
his typewriter.
Have what's her name send
up some nosh.
What do you
like to drink?
- I don't drink,
- Did my matzos come?
Get some for everybody.
Thank you.
Let me tell you
about my first picture.
The chairs go.
- The lazyboy goes.
- Not the lazyboy.
The lazyboy goes.
Hi, Sherry.
Where do you want it?
Put it in
the living room.
And we have
We don't have
Bob Barrenger,
Claire Wellesley, the director--
- Invite someone else then.
- I don't want to invite someone else.
Because this is the most
exclusive dinner--
Well, then you do
whatever makes you happy.
I'll be back
with the butter churn.
And we need
a blunder buss.
The woman's gone crazy
about this dinner party.
George.
I want a city
council meeting.
City council?
Doug, the traffic light--
Fuck the traffic light.
I'm talking about 3%
of the adjusted gross
of a major motion picture.
Hi.
I love your script.
- What?
- You're still here.
Morning, Annie.
See you
at rehearsal tonight.
In the name of justice,
sir, I bid you pause,
for she is our queen.
That's very good.
In fact, I'm not sure if
I gave them a second chance
or if they're
giving it to me.
That's the truth.
The truth's best, don't you think?
You'd know
better than me.
How can you say that?
It's in your script.
It's about getting
a second chance, isn't it?
You can go back.
But how do I...
how do I do a film
called The Old Mill
when I don't have an old mill?
Well, first you got
to change the title.
No, he doesn't
want to work out
with the Waterford Huskies.
Because he's Bob Barrenger.
Call his girl in Aspen.
Get her to ship his weights.
There you go, sir.
Well, fine, then he's not
going to do the pond scene.
Not unless he can work out.
Call his girl in Aspen,
get her to ship the weights out.
How much can they weigh?
Walt, are these
the ones?
Yes. Who designed
these costumes?
Who designed
these costumes?
It looks like
Edith Head puked
and that puke designed
these costumes.
- Get Courtney.
- Your wife's on the phone.
I have no wife?
Okay.
Tommy,
we need a new name
for the movie.
Where's the writer?
Roger.
Wally, I got to take out
the window from the dog.
- Walt?
- I can't shoot through...
- What?
- Claire has a problem.
If I have a moment
of your time.
- I cannot do the shot you want.
- Why not?
Because it's got a window
with dogs in it.
You want me to push in,
or lose the shot.
No, you cannot
lose the shot.
The meaning of the film
is in that shot.
- But the window to the Fire--
- I don't care.
Fix it.
- Courtney...
- Hmm.
Did you show Claire
these sketches?
- Yes.
- Did she throw up?
That's not very nice.
Oh, really?
Why don't you sue me
in the world court?
Did she like
the costumes?
- I can't tell.
- Why not?
She won't stop crying.
Oh, goody.
Find out when
Marty Rossen's arriving.
Get some lilacs
to send to the broad.
The town's out of lilacs.
You go to her room, you take
the lilacs from the water,
dry them,
get some cellophane,
wrap them up,
get a card from Marty.
Right.
What's her problem?
She doesn't want
to bare her breasts.
She doesn't want
to bare her breasts.
In the nude scene?
Why are we paying her
$3 million?
She got religion.
Her religion bars her
from fulfilling her contract.
Claire?
Claire.
Claire?
What is it, pal?
What?
I can't do it, Walt.
You can't do what?
It isn't right.
I can't.
I know I signed
the contract.
I don't know if they told me
it was in the contract.
Forget the contract.
What is it?
I don't want to take
my shirt off.
What are these things
they're asking of me?
What?
I try to be good.
The only thing
I care about...
- I know that.
- ...is the movie.
I know that.
We all know.
- Everybody, they treat me--
- No, they don't.
They treat me like a child.
Now, Claire...
To bare my body--
What are they
asking of me?
Now look, Claire.
I want to tell you
a story--
What?
Fuck flowers?
This isn't about flowers.
This is about a human being.
Lilacs.
Who are these from?
Marty.
That's very
thoughtful of him.
- Eleanora Duse--
- I can't.
Listen to me.
Eleanora Duse
was playing Hamlet
in London in 1905
and Royalty
could not get a ticket.
She said, I'm not doing the
seven shows a week I signed for.
She said, I can't bare
my soul seven times a week.
I am an artist.
I'll do four shows a week.
The greatest actress
of her time.
And do you know
what her producer said?
What?
Nothing.
He held her and he wept,
because he understood that
was her life's blood on the stage.
I know. I know.
And did she?
She did the seven shows?
No, she didn't.
But I think
you should do this scene.
Wally.
I know. I know.
It's the hardest thing
in the world.
And sometimes it seems
everybody wants a--
- Yes.
- wants a piece of us.
And you know what?
We have to give it.
I don't know
what her problem is.
She takes her shirt off
to do a voice over.
What's her problem?
The country could draw
her tits from memory.
- I--
- Bill...
call her agent
in New York.
Tell him she's breaking
her contract.
We're very upset
with her.
Get someone
to double for her.
Her tits.
The tit scene.
Call L.A.
I want to see pictures
of women's tits.
I'm very sorry.
You're very sorry, you passive
aggressive son of a bitch?
Can we replace him?
We start shooting
in three days.
You want to see
the fireman's costumes?
Because I found this
moleskin for the color?
Marty Rossen's
touched down.
It's not black,
but it looks black.
It's not brown--
Yup, it's faggy without
being homosexual.
Wait, wait, wait.
wait, wait.
He gets a second chance,
do you see?
And you get
a second chance.
No, I don't.
He doesn't go back
to the mill.
He gets a second chance
to go back to the firehouse.
You don't need
the old mill.
This is what--
you see?
This is what your-- This
is what the script is saying?
Hi, Annie.
Hi, Emma,
see you tonight.
- Go, you Huskies.
- Go you, Huskies.
What I see you saying is you have
the two elements, fire and water.
The firehouse
and the old mill.
You know, you could--
What are you
doing tonight?
- Me?
- Yeah.
Tonight?
I have play practice.
Oh.
That's important.
Come on, people.
Let's hump it. Let's go!
Yeah.
Let's go, let's go!
Come on, come on.
You call
the broad out?
No, I left that
for you.
That's thoughtful.
Mmm, this is good.
Did you try this?
Oh, I'm really going
to eat carbohydrates.
Dump this somewhere.
What did you do,
build this?
- How was your flight?
- We're flying over pigs.
- We're flying over sheep.
- Did you bring Bob's weights?
They're coming FedEx.
- What's in the bags?
- My undies.
'Cause you can't get this picture
off, I'm going to wet myself.
- I'm going to get it off.
- 55 days I take home the camera.
Oh, I got an idea
for a product placement--
- Hi, Shelly.
- Hi, Doc.
- How's the arm?
- Still itching.
Good. A sign
it's getting well.
Good afternoon.
- Stop.
- That's what I told you.
How are you getting on
with these fine people?
Like dykes and dogs.
Did you see the grosses
for Ghandi II?
Yeah? Come in?
Ah, good.
I just uh...
Prices are going up.
That's the way
of the world, isn't it?
Everybody's got to eat.
The way of the world.
I'm being pretty impolite.
Would you like some?
I don't eat vegetables.
Well, I could offer you
something to drink.
Sure, what have you got?
What do you drink?
Bourbon and milk.
How old are you?
Then I hope
you wouldn't tell anyone
that I gave this to you.
I would never tell anyone
anything that happened
between me and somebody
who was my friend.
Yeah.
Nice town you got here.
We could see it a lot better
if we were on the roof.
Wouldn't that
be dangerous?
Not if you have
something to hold onto.
The requirement is you
tell me what the shot is.
Because if you cannot
tell me what is it
how can I take
pictures of it?
Wally wants me to push in
through the window.
How can I push in
through the window?
- Yeah. No. Um...
- Telephone.
Scusa.
Pronto?
Hello.
How are you?
I thought you had
play practice.
- What happened?
- The cast stood me up.
They're all preparing
for the auditions for your movie.
My glasses fell apart.
I lost the--
Lost the screw?
- Good evening, Annie.
- Evening, sweetheart.
Go, you Huskies.
You said it.
Do you like kids?
I never saw
the point of them.
Me, too.
Do you have a paper clip
to fix my glasses?
Better idea.
Hold up, Cathy,
I need you.
Oh, watch out
for that lure.
Can I get some
fishing line?
Okay, let's see
what we've got.
A little fishing line,
a little country wisdom
and the world's our oyster.
I'm going to fix you up
a brand new hinge.
It'll be as good as new.
Better than new
because it has a story.
Uh huh.
Presto chango.
The inherently
helpful qualities
of every day
household things.
Uh huh.
There you go.
Let me try it.
Careful you don't
burn yourself.
Ow!
God.
You know what
you got there?
You got a fish hook
in your finger.
I'm right proud of you.
Let me tell you something,
Wally he's a pussycat.
My thing is to see everybody
does what they said they would.
Now what is this?
You want $800,000 to do
what you're being paid to?
You already signed
you'd do?
What is that?
I think I should
talk to my agent.
You and I should...
we should really--
- Who is her agent?
- Mitch Cohen.
Get him on the phone.
He's on the island.
Get him on the phone?
I want you to hear this.
It's ringing.
I really think
that business matters
should be discussed
between you two.
I'm gonna discuss them between
you because it's your idea.
If you're going to sign to do a job
and then hold us up, you are in error.
- He's on the phone.
- Thank you.
Mitch, this is Marty Rossen,
I'm here in...
- Waterford, Vermont.
- I'm somewhere on location.
I'm going to solve it here
or this bimbo you sent me
is going to be doing a donkey
act on public access television.
- Hi.
- Her tits. Her tits?
That she signed
in her contract.
We hired her because of 10 years
at the actor's studio?
The way she played Medea?
Her last two pictures laid
on the screen like my first wife.
- You have no right--
- Cool it, you started this.
- What's the-- ?
- Where have you been?
You tell me, you tell me now.
I got to shoot on Wednesday!
I will not pay
your blood money.
P.S. I put the word
out on the street
and Betty Boop can look
for work in squiggle-vision?
Sit down.
I don't think you should
talk to a lady like that.
- Would you excuse me, please?
- You can't treat me like this.
I'm not a child.
- She's absolutely right.
- I'm not a child?
I have feelings.
I mean, don't you--
Don't--
Don't--
Because I want to
tell you something
and I think you know
what I mean.
Well, you call him
and you call me back,
but this is it, pal.
You fuck with me
and I'm going
to tear out your heart
and piss on your lungs
through the hole in your chest.
And the best to Marion.
Where have you been?
He says they're looking
for you all day.
You're on salary,
he needs pages.
What are you-- ?
You been haguing?
- Now--
- Marty?
Later for that,
let's get this.
We need the pages
for The Old Mill.
We need a new title.
We need--
Rewrite for Bob,
the dead horse scene.
Whatever it is,
go do it.
How are you doing
on the permit?
- It's just a formality.
- That's why I want it.
Go on, type it up
and get it back to me.
I can't.
Don't tell me
you can't write it.
No, I can write it.
I can't type it.
Why?
Hurt my finger.
Get a typist.
Get him a typist!
Get out of here.
Get out of here or we're
going to have you killed.
to show her tits.
Pay her.
I don't got the money.
Find the money.
I got a company
that will give us
a million dollars to put
their product in the film.
A product placement.
- Yeah, take a look.
- What is it?
No no no no!
Just find me the money!
This is Joe White in 201.
They're sending up
a typist.
Okay. No, I thank you.
It's here.
Come in.
Hi.
Hi.
May I come in?
Please.
You said, You can't talk
that way to a lady.
You stood up for me.
What do you have
to drink?
I don't drink.
Matzoh.
Are you Jewish?
Well, actually--
I love Jewish men.
Why?
You know.
Where's your bathroom?
You liked
the script, huh?
- Where have you been.
- Hi.
- We had a date.
- We did?
- Where have you been?
- I've been thinking.
Well, I know,
because they told me
you were with that writer
from the--
You see,
this is what I mean.
The whole town's
been warped
by the presence
of the movie company.
They holler
and we jump.
You have a date,
they call,
you're doing business
I wasn't doing business.
Oh, well, what
were you doing, then
that's so important you
shouldn't call your fianc?
I...
have to tell you
that's it's all over
between us, Doug.
I...
met somebody else
and it's very serious
and it's over.
Wait. So serious you couldn't
call to tell me you'd be--
What did you say?
It's all over between us.
I've met someone else.
Who is this person
that you've found?
He works on the movie.
No, don't tell me that.
I'm sorry.
Can you type?
If you can,
they need you at the hotel.
Can you type?
Never admit you can type.
Okay.
All right, look--
I feel so close to you.
I like you very much.
I like you, too.
Look, I met someone.
- Who is it?
- Room service.
Could you leave it
just outside the door?
You have to sign for it.
Would you excuse me?
Of course.
- Hi?
- Oh, God.
I'm going to be your typist
for this evening.
And here's some
hydrogen-peroxide.
I don't drink.
It's for your finger.
That's very thoughtful.
Here I am.
Shall we get down to it?
Thought you might
like these.
Well, thank you
very much.
Read the card.
To the love of my life.
Love, Doug.
The other side.
Oh.
Wait! Wait.
Where are you going?
Don't you think we should
put these in water?
For God's sake, why?
Because if you don't,
they die?
Hmm.
And in my opinion
that makes them
so much
less attractive.
Wait wait wait!
Don't do that.
You shouldn't do that.
Wait.
Yup, the little things
mean a lot.
Yes, the little things
mean a lot.
It's so true.
For example, I once had
an uncle who was bit by a spider
and he lost
his sense of smell.
Can I have a cracker?
Shouldn't we start?
Let's start--
Start typing.
This isn't a good time.
Oh, all right.
Then I'll come back
at a better time.
What would be
a better time?
Later on.
Then I'll come back then.
You going out with
your fianc tonight?
No, no,
that's not happening.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Hi.
Hi.
It occurred to me
you'd want to have this,
sort of as a memento
of our--
Oh, I hope I'm not
disturbing you.
She came in here--
Wait, she--
I was giving her
a massage.
Wait.
Wait,
she came in here--
She--
With all due respect,
she took off her clothes
and she got into bed
and I told her
we could not
because we don't
know each other--
We had a script
conference.
And I said,
Thank you very much.
I had a couple
questions about a line.
But, uh--
It was inconvenient
because...
because--
You can do it.
Because I met
someone else.
Oh, okay.
You believe that?
I do if you do.
But it's absurd.
So is our electoral process
but we still vote.
Wait.
Do you truly think the
electoral process is absurd?
I used to go out
with a politician.
You used to go out with him?
You broke up with him?
Time for a change.
Keep your margins straight.
Yes.
Don't worry
about that permit.
That is right fine
of you, Mr. Mayor.
George.
- Morning, George.
- Chuckie.
Sherry,
your brother's here.
We're glad
to have you here.
My wife, Sherry,
we're having a party
Tuesday night--
Walt and Bob Barrenger--
invite them over--
home cooked meal.
- If you'd like to join us.
- I'd be honored.
- Sherry, this is Mr., uh...
- Where the hell have you been?
It's a quarter after 9:00.
- I've been on the phone--
- Morning, Mrs. Bailey.
I have two days--
This is Mr. Rossen.
He is the producer--
- Hello.
- I am so glad to meet you?
We're glad to have you here
and welcome to our--
Yearly, we redecorate
to restore it
to the original
- What is that?
- The house.
The original kitchen,
of course, burned in 1960,
as part of a spate
of suspicious fires,
which in fact,
lead to the inspiration
of the formation
of the Waterford Huskies?
My, oh, my!
Would you like
a cup of tea?
George, I have
to talk to you.
This is Mr. Rossen.
He's the producer.
I want you
to hear this, pal.
Forget the overages, forget
$10,000 for three days to two weeks.
Do you know what it would cost
to build this town as a set?
$6 million.
Now the Waterford
Merchant's Association
demands through me
as their council
of the movie,
as geared to the most
favorable definition of profits
of either A,
the producer--
Counselor,
I am sure--
No, I am positive,
we can reach some
accommodation.
I am thrilled and relieved
to hear you say that,
and thank you, sir.
What did you have in mind?
Don't tell me you
don't have any wallpaper.
I told you we could
have it by Wednesday.
Don't tell me you don't
have any wallpaper.
The biggest grossing
box office star in the world
is coming to dinner
on Tuesday.
Well, if you'd ordered
something common...
I'm going to give you
something common.
I'm going to give you
an injunction as well.
Mr. Mayor.
Mr. Mayor--
Why you cheap,
little heb.
Assembly of Death did
$95 million the first weekend.
Yeah, but those grosses
are inflated.
You think so?
Well, you got to look
at the per screen averages.
Hi, Annie.
I'm sorry I haven't been
to a meeting of the drama club.
Oh, that's too bad.
Hello.
What's the matter?
I can't seem to get it
to come out right.
What's the scene?
It used to be
the old mill.
What do you got?
They meet on Main Street,
her horse has just died.
He's coming from the fire.
Annie, do you want
something to eat?
What's the scene about?
I don't know anymore.
Have you seen Carla?
No.
He sees her
on the street.
He wipes the soot
from his eyes.
He goes up to her--
What happened
to the horse?
He-- She...
looks at him.
She takes his hand--
- Ow.
- I hurt you.
I hurt your finger.
What happened
to his finger?
It was burnt.
Then it was really hurt.
Ah ah ah?
That's what she says.
That's what she says.
He says,
Sister, I've come
from a fire.
But she realizes
it was not the fire
that hurt him,
that the true hurt
was her.
- Was her unbridled sexuality...
- Yes. Yes.
because, because
it's about purity.
It's... it's...
it's...
And then you don't need
the nude scene.
Because it's about purity!
Take any two people--
Take you and me--
I've always thought so.
The finest people you could
ever hope to work with.
Do you have the new
old mill pages?
I can't find the writer.
Totally false.
Totally false.
He is the most responsible
human being I have ever--
- I have to talk to you.
- Not now.
My wife is going
to have a baby.
That's great.
Let's bring more people
into this
over crowded world.
Yes?
Yes, I know
what you mean.
Yes, that's very,
very true.
Take it off.
Take off that stupid,
fucking shirt right now.
Take it off.
Well, if I had to say
one thing,
it's about purity.
Miss Wellesley's
bags, please.
Claire?
The plane is waiting.
I've written a letter
to the studio
and to SAG protesting--
Get a copy of that letter.
I just want to say
I am past chagrin.
I am mortified at the way
you were spoken to.
An artist of your caliber.
When I read this script
I said there is only
one person to play
that part.
The minute I read
the script I said--
I know.
I said she works
with animals,
she has a home.
A woman who--
The community respects her.
Please don't go.
Please don't go.
What can I do but beseech you?
Trauma? Toil?
All things must end.
You just get an idea
and try to find
the best way
to express it pictorially.
Claire?
Claire.
As an interpretive artist
to a creative artist,
stay with me,
I need you.
We start to shoot
in two days.
Then it belongs to us.
Stay.
Tonight when they've
all gone, let's talk.
Let's really talk.
We'll have dinner.
A bottle of bad red wine.
We'll eat spaghetti--
I'm sorry,
it's gone beyond that.
I've enjoyed it, too.
I've always enjoyed
your publication.
Any time.
What does that woman
want from life?
She wants $800,000
to show her tits.
Pay her off.
- We don't have the money.
- Find the money.
If you do
the product placement--
It's a computer company.
- Bazoomer Com?!
- Bazoomer dot com.
I can't put a computer
in a film shot in 1895!
You want to tell me
how to do that?
The art department
had some ideas.
No no no no!
Just pay her off!
Call Howie.
Give me Howie Gold.
Howie, this is--
I need 800 grand.
I don't care where
it comes from.
It comes out of our end.
Well, that's a shock.
- I need--
- She doesn't show her tits?
Just get me the money.
Hey, she doesn't
show her tits?
She doesn't show
her tits.
Her breasts
symbolize motherhood.
The breasts
symbolize motherhood?
The movie's about purity.
So we don't show
her breasts.
We show them to him.
She keeps her back
to the camera.
It'll hurt
the box office.
They know what
her tits look like.
Know? They could
draw them from memory.
You are fantastic.
What a find you are?
Get out of here.
I still need
the dead horse scene.
- I'm going to nail it.
- I know you are.
- Go, you Huskies.
- Go, you Huskies?
- Mr. Rossen?
- Yeah?
Thank you.
We just got the permit.
Stop her
at the airport!
Catch the broad
at the airport.
Send her back here.
Catch the broad
at the airport.
That Joe, he is
one hell of a kid.
He just saved us
He's got a gift
for fiction.
We got to do
something nice for him.
Hey, come here.
Turn around.
Get him a bottle of--
Get him some maple syrup.
Stick this card on it
and put it in his room.
- Who?
- Joe, the writer!
Joe, the writer,
maple syrup, yes, sir.
Grows on trees.
Actually, it's an extract
of the tree.
Oh, bullshit.
I see some of our buddies got
themselves a part in the movie.
You see where Tom Miller
is playing the old farmer.
He's been playing the
old farmer now for 60 years.
I read for that part.
I did pretty well, too.
I bet you did.
But I couldn't remember
all the words.
Asked them would they
give me a second chance.
Ain't no second
chances in life.
- Is that true?
- The only second chance we get
is to make the same
mistake twice.
The only...
second chance...
is the chance...
to make the same--
Okay, you're going
to be all right.
So that happened.
Are you all right?
- Am I all right?
- Yeah.
Well, I'm going
to tell you something.
We have to get her
out of here.
Who?
- Are you all right?
- What?
You gotta get out of here.
All right.
No.
You gotta get out of here.
Oh.
Oh.
Okay.
But here's the kicker--
Do you have a cigarette?
What?
No, forget about it.
No, he's fine, Howie,
he's going to be fine.
He got knocked
around a little bit.
You're going to be fine.
I'll stop by tomorrow.
Thanks for your help.
It's what I do
for a living.
Seriously, thank you
for helping us out.
Believe it or not,
I've seen it all before.
Howie wants
to talk to you.
Hey, Howie.
I'm fine.
I'll be ready Wed--
I'm here to make
a movie, don't worry--
Hey, pal, when did
I ever let you down be--
Okay, babe.
I love you, too.
He wants to talk
to you about the...
Howie, I'm calling
you back, two minutes.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
I reached over to--
the girl had to be home.
I don't know,
a school night--
Bobby--
Everybody needs a hobby.
I wonder if I can take
a moment of your time.
I need a day off.
My wife is having
a rough time.
Thank you for keeping
me current.
Howie Gold, please.
Walt Price,
I was just on with him.
Walt?
He's fine.
If there's anything
I can do--
No no no,
you've done it.
Thank you.
It's going to be fine.
Howie, Walt here?
I'm sorry, it's crazy.
No no no, he's 110%.
He got banged on the head.
He got a shot of adrenaline.
What request for money?
Howie, what request-- ?
That Marty-- ?
Is Mr. Barrenger
in there?
Howie, I'm going
to call you right back.
It's really raining
out there, huh, officer?
I guess it is.
Could I see
Mr. Barrenger, please?
Okay, what is she,
- Oh, Christ!
- Look-- Okay. Okay.
You're driving...
countryside, so on.
You picked her up,
she was hitch hiking--
No, she hid in the back
of your car.
- It happens all the time.
- Wait wait wait.
Can I see
Mr. Barrenger, please?
Wait, we can't put her
in the car.
She gets it in her head
to sue or rape--
- She wasn't in the car.
- You were all alone.
There's no witnesses.
There's no witnesses, right?
No, just Joe.
Joe, the writer.
Just him and me.
Then she wasn't
in the car. Say it.
She wasn't in the car.
Mr. Barrenger?
Yes?
I'm very sorry to--
What seems to be
the problem?
I have to ask you
some questions.
Do you have a valid
driver's license?
Of course he has.
Could I see it, please?
- What?
- Your driver's license.
Were you
under the influence?
No.
And who was
driving the car?
I was alone in the car.
I was driving the car.
Uh huh.
Well, now, Mr. Barrenger,
I'm very sorry.
In fact, I'm as sorry
as I can be, but--
I'm an attorney,
if there's anything
you have to say
to Mr. Barrenger,
you can say it to me.
I have to give you
this ticket
for damage
to city property.
I'm really sorry, sir.
It's a formality.
You have to what?
It's a formality.
Any case of damage
to city prop--
You hit the control box
of the new stop light
and they're going
to send you a bill.
They'll, uh--
These things happen.
I hope
you're all right.
Don't worry, but that's
so sweet of you.
If there's anything I can do
to make your stay more pleasant.
We appreciate
your concern, officer.
- Thank you so much.
- Not at all.
Yeah?
Hello, Mr. Mayor.
Walt Price.
No, no.
He's fine.
Well, he's right here.
You're not to see
that girl again.
Do you understand me?
Hello?
No, he's right here.
Would you like to--
Bob, are you
all right?
- Hi?
- Hi.
Where are you going?
- Going home.
- Going home? Yeah.
- I told them what you said.
- What?
I told them what you said
about the script.
I didn't say anything.
I was just talking out loud.
- How else can you talk?
- No, that's true.
I told them you can't
portray with the picture
what you're saying
with the words.
I don't know, the movies--
I don't know.
They should be
socially uplifting.
Why does she
have to show her--
What is this?
Yes, sir,
Joseph Knight's print shop.
Vacant for 30 years.
- Is it?
- Yup, and it's for sale.
You want to see it?
I have the key
in my store.
I'd love to.
How's your movie star?
Gosh, you look nice.
What?
What are you going to
do with it, the print shop?
Oh.
It's wet out there.
Hey, slip into something
more comfortable.
So what would
you do with it?
The print shop?
Start back up
The Waterford Sentinel.
The Waterford Sentinel?
Town newspaper.
I got it all worked out.
Yeah?
- Show you the plans?
- Sure.
The Waterford Sentinel,
the voice of the mountains.
You shall not
bear false witness.
- The press still works?
- It did as of last week.
You printed
the poster here?
The best way I know
to get ink on your hands.
Well--
Oh my.
Life in the country.
The past comes
to our rescue once again.
Yeah, you could
print the newspaper here.
That's something
a man could do.
You know what else
a man could do?
What?
One moment.
All right, out you go.
Don't come back.
Go home, Bucky.
Go home, boy.
I left the keys inside
in my jacket.
Well--
I suppose
I should be...
heading home.
Evening, Annie.
Evening, Cal.
Got an umbrella?
No.
That's all right.
You can have my coat.
I'll walk you home.
Then you'll be wet.
I'm going off shift.
Come on, I'll walk you home.
People.
People, people, people.
Every movie's got to be
about something,
and it's got to be about
just one thing.
What is this movie about?
It's about what we always
said it was about.
We were lost, but now
we're back on the right track.
You see, what I'm saying?
The movie is about purity.
I've always seen that.
So we don't show
your breasts,
we show
your reaction to it.
- I am so comfortable with that--
- It was Joe's idea.
And you were
exactly right.
- This is great work.
- Thank you so much.
We're not out of the woods.
I need that dead horse scene.
I have Mr. Barrenger's
tuna BLT.
Thank you.
I tried to take it
to him in his room--
I think he's moved.
You know what Walt said
makes a lot of sense.
Listen, the audience isn't
coming to see your breasts.
They're coming
to see your acting.
- What are you doing this evening?
- I'm having dinner with Walt.
- Do you want to come?
- Do you mind?
- Not at all, you kidding me?
- Isn't she a trip?
We're going to have
some local food,
some roadhouse--
Joe, wanna go?
Got a date.
Already he's learned
how to write a movie
and he's found some girl
to get his toes curled.
- You're a monster!
- Too kind.
Quit your kidding.
How are we coming
with the dead horse scene?
You can't actually
kill the horse.
Oh, fuck me.
Yes, yes, I'm trying.
When is your mom coming?
Oh.
What did the midwife say?
Where are we
going to dinner?
Did you get
a reservation?
You were going
to book us--
Where is my schedule?
Where we going to dinner?
What's your problem?
My wife's
having a baby.
Is that on
the call sheet?
Or is that
personal business?
Oh, Christ, Marty!
Are we paying you?
I--
She didn't even finish
knitting me the sweater.
Morning, Doc.
Morning.
What are you
doing here, Doug?
I thought you started
out the day
with that pernicious
caffeine.
Kiss my ass.
He's had a hard day.
Ann deserted him
for some guy on the movie.
Well, they don't
always leave
with the ones
they come in with.
Big day last night.
Hoped to tell you.
Didn't I pick
the fragments of glass
out of Bob Barrenger's
actual head myself?
- Morning, Carla.
- Morning, Uncle Ron.
Morning, Carla.
Morning, Doc.
Morning, Doug.
A cluster of events.
Don't see something
for 10 years,
all of a sudden,
three times in a night.
Who got glass in their head?
What?
Who got glass in their head?
Oh, uh, Barrenger,
and another fellow
who works on the movie,
a cameraman.
You said three.
Did I?
I think you're mistaken.
I wasn't in the car.
We'll just
see about that.
Doug, she said
she wasn't in the car.
Jack, it's time
to rip the band-aid off!
Mister,
you're going to jail.
I didn't know
it was illegal.
I beg you pardon.
Could somebody
explain to me--
We've got to turn
this hotel upside down.
A- ha?
Arrest him.
What's the problem?
- Arrest him.
- For what?
Conspiracy
in statutory rape.
Conspiracy
in statutory rape?
Okay, of whom?
- This young woman.
- Nobody touched me.
- Who was it that raped you?
- Nobody.
Well, what's the beef?
She was in the car
with Bob Barrenger.
She was injured coming home
from a love tryst.
You were in the car
with Bob?
No.
Then what is the--
Then what is this,
you son of a bitch?
Because if you haven't
heard about the laws
of malicious prosecution,
you're about to.
Don't flinch
while I'm talking to you,
you speed trap shaygits.
The kid was not in the car.
She says she wasn't in the car.
No one says
that she was in the car.
You have no case. So I'm
not playing patsy with you.
Look me in the eyes.
I made 11 million bucks last year
and I don't like being trifled with.
Now I think the better part
of valor is for you to step away.
Or you, your kids,
and your grandchildren
will die in poverty.
What do you think?
We have a movie to make.
Can we all pull together here?
Have a cigar.
There you go.
In a communist country
if a fellow makes an accusation
these are the things
that occur--
It's a mistake.
It's all over.
I'm sorry that
we've inconvenienced you.
I wasn't in the car.
We know that you weren't.
We're all aware of that.
Because you treat me
like a child.
You treat me like a child.
That's why I can't come.
Uh...
He took advantage of me?
I got to admit
I'm a bit confused.
I'm going
to straighten you out.
Officer, will you
see these folks home?
Yes, sir.
She's upset
and impressionable.
Get me my law book
and the mayor.
I was talking
to that girl in there.
- Overcome by the events...
- I never touched her...
- A high powered fantasy.
- On my mother's grave.
We were talking
about the script.
I think you might
want to get dressed.
I really don't
understand the problem.
- Wally--
- All right.
I want to go home.
If somebody
would enlighten me.
That's what
I'm here for.
Carla.
Adolescence is
a difficult time.
It is a time of dreams.
Many young folks
dream of Hollywood.
I know I did.
And here Hollywood
has come to you.
She told me
she was studying Phonics.
I'm going to need
her birth certificate.
Carla, I swear that girl
in my room--
Be quiet, Bob.
It's called
a script conference.
You have
a fertile mind.
We use people like that
in our work.
You said you were
doing your homework!
Because if that's not true,
you're grounded?
Can we get him
home, please?
- I--
- I don't think so.
If you think I'm fooling,
wait until I get you home.
It occurs to me
that there's a part
in our movie--
I would appreciate it if you
wouldn't speak to the complainant.
There's part, a young girl--
Am I right?
Here, statutory rape,
blah blah blah.
Carla, you know at the beginning
of any relationship--
Keep him away from me
until the end of time.
Unsupported testimony
of the complainant--
You travel with
the statutes on rape?
Carla.
Conflicting statements,
a coerced accusation--
You got a complainant
who's worthless.
You've got no witness
that puts her in the car,
and you've got no backing.
Yeah? Maybe we better
talk to the mayor.
- Hello, Mr. Mayor.
- Is that the mayor?
- It's just an unfortunate--
- Is he cool or angry?
So, today we got lucky.
If your memory was as long as
your dick you'd be in good shape.
How long since you almost
went to jail for this shit?
How could she turn on me?
I thought she liked me.
Can we keep our pants buttoned
and get out of this in one piece?
- I'm ready.
- Well, stay ready.
- Stay by yourself in your room.
- What am I going to do for fun?
Why don't you
learn your lines?
- I know my lines.
- You do?
I just don't know
what order they come in.
I'll tell you what--
Let's ditch these
cockamamie locals.
- They play too rough.
- Let's go to some roadhouse.
Just us.
You, me and Claire.
We'll drink
a bottle of wine.
- Now you're talking.
- Just get in the car and go.
Yeah,
someplace real.
You and me, pal.
What are you
doing for fun?
I went for a ride
on a tractor.
- Get out.
- Nope.
You went for a ride
on a tractor?
Yup, last night.
Hey, Molly, will you
get me a ham sandwich?
Hey, you got
to eat a pack of dirt.
My wife just went
into labor.
Half a buck
I'd close it down.
It's perfidy.
You got Barrenger
molesting little girls.
- He should be put in jail.
- I'd put him in jail.
- You should.
- If I had a witness I would.
A witness to what?
To the rape.
Even to the accident.
You mean with White?
What?
You mean you need a witness
in addition to White?
- Who's White?
- The writer.
- He saw the accident?
- Sure.
He saw the girl
in the car?
You bet he did.
Well, that's
what I'm talking about.
Don't you touch that.
Excuse me.
- I want them gone.
- I signed the permit.
- I want them thrown in jail.
- Sherry. Sherry.
I want them to starve
in a great big hole
and I'm going to
go there and piss on them.
What?
Get me the state police.
The sleepy little town
of Waterford, Vermont,
where movie star,
Bob Barrenger,
fresh with his troubles
with the law last year,
is once again
in hot water,
involved in a car crash
with a young,
a very young, woman.
Mr. Barrenger is being
arraigned today
for moral turpitude
and several other--
Make sure you
got your facts straight.
You step off the line
and I'm gonna sue you personally.
Bobby!
Good morning, where are you
taking Mr. Barrenger?
We're looking for
a Mr. Joseph Turner White.
- What are you doing?
- He's under arrest.
I'm his lawyer.
And you must be Perry Mason.
Guess what?
You are one half step
from a world of hurt.
How diverting? The mayor's
going to have your ass.
- Can I watch?
- You guess what?
The mayor sent me.
I have your Mr. Barrenger
with a history--
A history of nothing.
He was acquitted.
Moral turpitude.
What are you waiting for?
- Don't say anything.
- Nothing happened.
You're on my home court. I got
the mayor and the town behind me.
And forget making
your movie.
I may own the studio
when I get through.
I got a civil suit.
I got rape. I got collusion.
You got nothing.
You don't have a witness?
And I have a witness?
Your Mr. White saw the crime.
- He told you that?
- He didn't have to.
I need to talk to him.
Will you excuse me?
Oh, you're
his attorney, too?
- Later for you, pal.
- Okay.
Marty!
Bob's in the slammer.
You do that, I'll do this.
What are you
going to do?
Go be with him.
- Hey, Marty.
- Hi, pal.
I need to talk to you.
Okay.
He's going to give you
a couple of minutes.
What's it all about?
I saw the accident.
How do they know that?
You told them?
- No.
- What did you say to them?
I didn't say anything
to them.
Good.
Come here.
That's very good.
Have a seat.
How do you know
you saw it?
- I don't understand.
- Perhaps you didn't see it.
Perhaps you didn't
see it.
I saw it.
I was there.
You were there...
at 10:35?
Yeah, I was walking
down the street
and I remember...
I was writing--
What glasses
were you wearing?
Were you wearing
your reading glasses?
I--
You told me
you were writing.
Don't you wear your reading
glasses to write?
Isn't that
what you told me?
Hold on.
Yeah?
Yeah.
I've got to go
to the jail.
Be strong.
What am I gonna do?
You gotta tell them you saw
the accident, don't you?
I can't do that.
If I tell them,
they'll try Bob for rape
and it will
ruin his career.
But that's what happened.
But they'll stop the movie.
Maybe there'll be
other movies.
They'll blackball me.
Carla was in the car.
What am I gonna do?
A lot of hubbub
in the street.
I'm taking you
the back way.
Two minutes?
Let's speak English.
You gotta help the side.
You want me to lie?
To the contrary,
I want you to tell the truth.
Truth is you can't tell me
that you saw the thing.
You don't remember
which glasses you've got on.
If you're not sure, then they've
got nothing and Bob walks free.
This is a damn roust
and everybody knows it.
The guy wants to
make a name for himself.
If we let him do that, then
we're being false to our community.
Do you understand?
To our world.
And you're a part
of that world.
I got a five picture deal
with the studio.
You stick with me,
you write one, two more--
You stick with me,
you'll direct the next one.
The girl wasn't
in the car.
You got to go.
Joseph Turner White.
Hear ye, hear ye.
Sixth District Court
in for the county of Codona,
State of Vermont.
The Honorable James Addison
Flynn presiding.
All those with business before
this honorable court draw near
you will be heard.
Mr. White, this is
a simple matter of--
All we need is a simple
fact or two.
You're going to give your
recollections of the accident
at the corner
of State and Main.
Would you please
swear him in?
Raise your right hand.
Do you swear
to tell the truth,
the whole truth
and nothing but the truth,
so help you God?
I do.
The arraignment, as we said,
of Bob Barrenger.
The Bob Barrenger,
star of The Old Mill
about to begin shooting here
in picturesque and sleepy--
or we should say,
formerly sleepy--
Yes, yes...
Yes, it's Claire Wellesley.
We're going to try
to get a look at her.
Let's go.
Stay with me.
Morning, Doc.
Morning, Billy.
Where are you headed?
Down to the corner
to see the ruckus.
Watch the curbs now.
Good morning.
Where are you off to?
Uh...
I'm leaving.
Why?
I perjured myself.
I told a lie,
and I ruined my life.
That's what I did.
I don't suppose you could
help me with that, could you?
Turn back the clock
or something?
You know,
to give me back my...
give me back
my purity?
I don't suppose you could wave your
magic wand
and do that, could you?
For what is truth?
Isn't that the thing,
what is true?
The truth is
you never should trust
anybody who wears a bow tie.
Here.
A cravat is supposed
to point down,
to accentuate
the genitals.
Why do you want
to trust somebody
whose tie points out
to accentuate his ears?
Aren't you supposed to set
an example for people?
Nope.
Just supposed to hold
their hands while they die.
What did you say
your problem was?
- Hi, Doc.
- Oh, morning, Chrissy.
How's the back?
I ruined my life.
Isn't that funny
you can actually do it
in one moment,
just like they say?
I ruined my life
back in that courthouse.
- What courthouse?
- The courthouse back in town.
The town ain't got
no courthouse.
What?
It ain't got
no courthouse.
Courthouse burned
down in 1960.
Where do they hold court?
To hold court they have to--
science lab
at the high school.
Morning, Judge,
what brings you down here?
Supposed to be hearing
some deposition.
Some fool saw the accident
the other night.
Did the courthouse
burn down?
Courthouse burned
down 1960.
Part of a spate of fires--
old mill, courthouse--
Supposed to have been set
by some deranged teenager.
Gave rise to
the Waterford Huskies.
I thought you needed
to get it out of your system.
The American system
of jurisprudence,
which differs from ours
in the following respects:
They have their
Bill of Rights,
equal perhaps
to our Magna Carta.
What are you
gonna do?
Tell the truth.
I would now like
to address you
on the responsibility
of the prosecutor's office.
The job is not
always a happy one,
but there comes
a time now and then
in the life of the community
for the display of force.
So be it.
Now it falls to my lot
to join the fray,
to join in battle
and to exterminate
by means of this
criminal indictment,
to exterminate
the vermin...
He's got toilet
paper on his face
and he's sweating
like a pig.
...a license granted him
by a gracious nation,
who spew filth
and degradation
and who--
Damnit.
Who pollute the minds--
We're live in five minutes.
Do you need to clean up?
Yes, thank you.
Do something.
You tell me what to do.
I'll do it.
I was just paying off
my spread in Montana.
Excuse me, sorry.
I'm here to give
my deposition.
Joe?
Thank God.
It's up to you, pal.
- I'm out.
- I don't get you.
The girl was
in the car.
I treated you like a son,
or a nephew--
It's not about you--
No, what's it
about then?
I have to tell
the truth.
That is just so narrow.
The girl was in the car.
Then you're finished
in showbiz.
So be it.
And we're going to sue you
for a billion dollars.
What cause?
I don't need a cause.
I just need a lawyer!
I'm a lawyer.
- Howie?
- Yeah.
Howie, what are you
doing here?
What am I doing here?
I just flew seven hours
because you asked me here.
What for?
For this, and I hope
you need it,
because it's coming
out of your budget.
Hi.
I would prefer it
if you didn't speak to me.
You know,
there's nothing
you could say
that could possibly
make a difference.
So why don't you
just save your breath?
Okay.
You forgot your case.
That's not my case.
That's your case.
Oh, it's mine?
What did I put in it?
$800,000 in cash.
And what was it
you wanted to say?
Good yuntiff.
Officer.
I'm supposed to give
my deposition.
The judge will be
with you in a minute.
I'm going to have
to go to jail.
I'll knit you a sweater.
I might be in there
a long time.
I'll knit you
a jump suit.
Well, okay.
Okay, then.
I've come to
give myself up.
Hi, Annie.
Hi, Judge.
Good to see you, girl.
I've come to
give myself up.
You're going to have to
give yourself up to someone else.
I'm going to
get in some golf.
Why don't you
give yourself up to her?
That's what I'd do
if I were you.
I have learned a lesson
and the lesson is this:
That everybody needs
a second chance.
You, me and these
fine film people here.
You know, they have
a high profile
but that doesn't mean they
aren't deserving of our trust
and of our respect.
I think there's
a lesson here.
The lesson is this:
It is a lesson
of tolerance.
And as we look
at this industry--
Ssh...
As we look at this clean,
American industry,
and as I begin
my campaign for congress
in my aspiration toward
that city on a hill,
I would
like to say this...
This is picture?
This is picture?
- Roll camera.
- Speed.
The Fires of Home,
scene one, take one.
Action?
Hold still now.
I guess that fire got a little
bit exciting last night, eh, Frank?
Doc, that's their nature.
If you didn't have
a little excitement
wouldn't life be dull?
That it would.
What do I owe you?
You quit your kidding.
Hey, Nate, see what
you can do with this.
Ha ha, fix it up
good as new, Frank.
Morning, Sister.
We missed you
in church today.
Sister, I've just
come from a fire.
That is an explanation,
but it's no excuse.
Let me help you with that.
Sister, I didn't come here
to talk about the altitude.
What did you want
to tell me about?
Let's talk about something
a man could get his hands on.
That's exactly why
I want to talk to you.
I wish you had been
in church today.
What would I have seen?
You would have seen
Father Mulcahy,
that kind, dear old man.
I heard he was ill.
He is ill, and you
would have seen him
rise from his bed
and hobble to church
and talk about
redemption.
If he had been
talking to me...
Just as bad. I have
no chance of redemption.
Redemption is not offered
once, Frank, but continually.
Kind words, Sister.
They are not mine.
And you come by
next Sunday,
we'll give you
a second chance.
Sister, the only
second chance I know
is the chance to make
the same mistake twice.
Cut!
That's a cut.
Bob, this is great!
We've got to talk
about this thing.
Joe. Joe?
I want to change this.
We are going again.
We are going again?
Good work, Bob.
Stand by.
Cue the dead horse.
And can we get a crate
of doughnuts for the teamsters?
Well, it beats working.