Hi, this is Sanne.
Leave a nice message.
Hi, Sanne, it's me.
I'm in this little house.
At a secret location.
I was wondering if you were
coming over.
Not that I mind waiting.
I've got a book.
I'm waiting for you.
Will you bring that bag?
Ok, see you in a bit.
We've got to go.
-Yes, let's go.
Fuck, what shall we do?
-Yes?
It was such nice weather.
Damn, I'm all wet!
-Shit!
Now we can't swim tonight.
-Tonight?
There's this swimming pool where
people always swim at night.
We don't know where exactly.
-No, it's rather exclusive.
Near the Westerpark, in a dead-end
street.
At the end of the street, there's
a barbed wire fence.
You have to get over it to get to
the water.
With a hot bitch, preferably.
And your own drunk head.
How do you know this?
-From Marlon Broekman.
Marlon Broekman?
-The Marlon Broekman?
Isn't he in those movies?
Just like Marlon to find an overnight
swimming pool.
No one knows if he discovered it.
-You never know with Marlon.
Do you know his trumpet?
His trumpet?
-The terror of every woman?
Does he play the trumpet?
-Sort of.
Not very well apparently.
-You're so wrong!
As if you know.
-No, but...
What's with his trumpet?
-Yes, you tell us.
No, you tell us.
-No, you.
No, you tell us.
Marlon's Miles Davis imitation worked
on women like sirens on many a skipper.
In normal language, that means...
Marlon can do an imitation of
a trumpet with his mouth.
And girls tend to like that.
Hey, you!
What did you say?
The music was a bit loud.
This one's for you.
What's your name?
-Lisa.
Lisa, you're so beautiful
in this street!
I live near here.
Are you coming with me?
Ok.
Ciao, boy!
And that's how he got her sister too.
-Cruel.
You have to have huge balls
to do that.
Balls of steel.
-That must be noisy.
I could tell you an even better
story.
But that's not about Marlon.
-Tell us.
I don't know.
It could cause big problems.
For who?
-For the guy it's about.
I'm all ears.
-And we'll be here for a while.
Ok.
It was going to be a beautiful
warm summer.
Exams were over and the big
city was calling.
New experiences, new people,
a new life.
And girls.
Girls in skirts and jeans.
And maybe strings,
instead of those stupid overalls.
No more bleating goats,
no more cow shit.
A new beginning.
TALL TALES
Marlon, please call me.
-Can I ask you something?
You must have gotten lost.
-Yes, I think so.
Where are you going?
The countryside?
I've come to study in the city
and I have to go here.
You're here now.
If you keep going straight there,
you'll find it.
Ok, thanks a lot.
-You're welcome.
Is it a sad story about a Moroccan who
tries his luck in the big city?
That's no fun.
-What's the guy's name anyway?
Dennis Van De Molen.
A Moroccan called Dennis Van De
Molen?
I've never heard of that.
He was adopted.
Tell us more about Marlon then.
But not another story about
how cool he is.
Wait, if you give Dennis another chance,
I'll tell you about Marlon later.
And his best friend Mario.
And the girls: Iris, Lotte...
and beautiful Sanne.
They're best friends forever.
The whole lot.
One more thing.
-Shoot.
I'm Dennis Van De Molen.
Sanne.
-Hi Sanne.
I'm new in the city and I know
almost nobody.
Well, I know you now.
I'm throwing a party on Friday,
with some friends.
There'll be DJ's and live acts.
And Ellektra from Belgium will perform.
I know her!
And there will be people you can meet.
-Trendy people too?
That's the idea.
You can register using Hyves and
you'll get a key like this one.
And that gets you in.
-And where's Hyves?
That's on the Internet.
-Ok.
Google it.
-Ok.
Bye.
-Thanks, bye.
See you at the party!
Welcome to Amsterdam!
The super cool city!
Ok, now Marlon.
Marlon Broekman.
-Yo, the Internet's working.
Is the speed good enough for my
porn streams?
I'm horny as hell.
-Marlon lives with Mario.
That's his best friend.
He's a gangster boy with one passion.
Weed.
Hey Paolo.
-Hi, Michael.
No, I'm Mario.
-Yes.
My cuttings aren't doing well.
-Again? Do you eat them?
No.
Add a bit of this and don't give them
too much water or you'll kill them.
Is Shanaynay doing well?
-Yes, almost ready to be sold.
Shanaynay's the only plant that has
survived Mario's green thumb.
Later.
-See you.
Have we got something to smoke?
-I feel like smoking one of your plants.
Are you crazy?
You can't smoke cuttings.
Alright, back to Dennis.
THE NEIGHBORS
Hi, neighbors. I'm Dennis.
Sorry?
A good neighbors worth more
than a far friend.
Do you want coffee?
Maybe you can tell me about
the cool places in the city.
I'm new here.
What?
Did we sell all the keys?
-Almost.
We're getting a few last requests.
Like this one:
"Dear members of the club..."
"I would like to visit your party,
this upcoming Friday."
"I don't know anybody in
Amsterdam."
"It would be super cool to change that
by joining your clique."
"I would also appreciate
a good bash."
Did you hear that?
Dennis Van De Molen, zero friends.
What a douchbag.
We won't give him our last key.
I was thinking about making some
extra keys.
Why?
-I need some money.
For what?
-I've got debts, with Achie.
With Achie?
Listen.
-What will you do?
I raise the stakes by 2000.
How much?
-2 mille... 2000.
Alright.
Metropolis.
The cathedral. The longest trade route.
The biggest army.
One victory point.
Sit down!
The more keys, the more chicks.
The more shaven pussies.
Exactly. Can you call Sanne?
That she has to continue advertising.
-Why do I have to do that?
Do it for me.
-She's been trying to reach you.
You call her.
I think I need to explain
something.
Marlon and Sanne knew each other a bit.
He's been to her place.
Now the poor girl's in love with Marlon.
For no good reason, but who am I?
So...
Do you want to help me?
With the party.
Do a bit of advertising.
Look pretty.
Ok.
You wanted to marry her.
Yes, but not yet.
Marlon?
I'm bored.
Asshole.
Marlon!
-No, Mario.
The handsome one of the two.
We're making extra keys, so you
have to advertise them longer.
What? I've been doing it for a week
already.
Are you watching porn?
No.
I've already given everyone
a flyer.
If you need more people, you have
to think of something else.
Alright, in the meantime, keep
spreading those flyers.
Can I talk to Marlon?
He's asleep.
He just updated his status to
'Morning Exercises.'
Yes, so he can't be disturbed.
Wait, I have another call.
-Keep distributing flyers.
I'm going off on a tangent, but you
wanted the whole story.
This is Iris with her boyfriend
Peter.
In the days when everything was honky
dory and sex tapes between them.
Yes, it's fun.
Back to the phone call.
Is that you, Iris?
I just wanted to go see him as
a surprise.
What did that asshole do
this time?
Go home and I'll be there as
soon as I can.
Let me finally introduce you
to Lotte.
The tough DJ chick.
Sanne! We're having a house party!
Beer? Iris? What?
I'm coming.
Ive been at a party where
she was the DJ.
She's wild!
-And a slut, I think.
Not anymore.
-What do you mean?
Her latest experience with a guy
wasn't a success.
The stairwell story.
Stairwell story?
No, wait a moment.
I think she'd never sleep with
a guy like that.
She only has sex with big
black guys.
You're right.
Thank you.
-Let me.
You heard him.
-I'll finish this job.
Let me spoil this little chicken.
Have you got a condom?
-Really?
I don't want to get pregnant.
Wait a moment.
Tim!
Dude! Come down quickly!
Mom, get lost!
Shall I untie you?
Such a sweet child.
A good thing you're not
my daughter.
Shall we go to my room?
Jerk!
I've died.
From the inside.
It's all black.
I'm black on the inside.
-Boys are jerks.
Boys are jerks. Repeat after me.
It works.
Maybe I should become a goth.
You won't become a goth.
None of my friends ever becomes
a goth.
Never! Understood?
We've got each other.
You've got me.
I'm holding you.
Boys are jerks.
What are you doing?
Watch me.
What?
-I have things to do.
Don't you want to have
breakfast together?
Please leave.
I would have kept her.
While I'm young, I only do
chicks once.
What did Sanne say?
That we have to think of something
else to promote the party.
Ok.
How big is your debt?
Not that big.
Less than a hundred.
-I'll sell Shanaynay at the party.
I can lend you some money.
Relaxed.
But let's also find a way to sell
those extra keys.
Ok, we have to think of something
good.
What's the theme of our party?
Masked ball... gala... deep cleavages...
big buttocks... Ellektra.
Ellektra, baby.
You're telling the story of
the penguin thief.
Didn't I say it was a good
story?
Do you know him?
Yes.
-Tell us more.
Yes, you, little fellows.
Is this normal?
Is this necessary?
-Good afternoon, Madam.
What's wrong?
-Turn down your music.
You're not the only ones who
live here.
It's 2 in the afternoon.
What's the problem?
My rabbit Tjebbe's trying
to sleep.
Your rabbit can kiss my butt.
Is this normal?
Talking to older women like that?
I wasn't saying that about you,
but about your AIDS rabbit.
Did you hear that AIDS beast?
I hope you choke on your lettuce!
I'm calling the police.
-You don't need to do that.
We'll turn it down.
-Fuck this bitch, man!
Fuck you!
Go inside.
We won't bother you or your
rabbit Tjebbe again.
Really.
Fucking rabbit! AIDS beast!
Take it easy, dude!
We've just moved in here.
Fuck that. The bitch shouldn't nag.
I'm keeping it simple.
-Chill.
We don't want these problems, ok?
Don't shit where you live.
But then we also shouldnt...
-No, you're right.
We don't want that either.
Gangster.
Smells good.
We're blow-drying chooks.
I'm going into the city,
to get tickets for the party.
Why don't you come to the party too.
I'll get you tickets.
I'll be off then.
Later, man.
That's our new neighbor.
-He doesn't understand a word.
You've got a moustache.
-Moustaches are the new beards.
That moustache is all wrong.
-Moustaches are the new beards.
You'll pay after your party!
Check out this dude.
That's that Dennis guy.
There he comes.
-Can you leave us alone for a bit?
I'm Dennis Van De Molen from Overgier.
But now I'm a real Amsterdammer.
Sup, dudes?
Have a seat.
Mario, shots.
Dennis... the key to the party.
They say its the trendiest party
in Amsterdam.
And Sanne gave me a flyer.
What a lovely girl.
I think I'm falling in love
with her.
Homos!
They gave me a bottle.
Have you got a good story, Dennis?
-What about?
About you or your village.
I used to try to liven things
up there.
But not everybody liked that.
What the fuck, Dennis.
-Yes, I know.
But I'm doing better now.
I wanted to go to the Escape tonight.
They say that's the best club
in Amsterdam.
Why don't you come with me?
Only peasants go to the Escape.
That whole area's some sort
of provincial hangout.
You don't want to be there.
Let's get to the point.
You want a key to the party.
-Yes, three preferably.
I know.
-If you'd been a friend of ours...
Yes, you have to become a friend
of ours.
Yes, please, but how do we do that?
More shots!
Yes, but friendship starts with
shared experiences.
What do you mean?
We have to experience something
cool with you.
Ok... ok.
See it like some kind of hazing.
Do you like animals, Dennis?
Animals love me, I love animals!
Really... I'm from the countryside.
This is great.
-Isn't it?
It's under control.
I'm done.
Where was I?
Yes, the girls.
Sanne, Iris and Lotte.
They had been boozing that night.
Maybe to forget that jerk Peter.
And then they got hungry.
Marlon had extra keys made, so I have
to advertise the party all day again.
Why do you do all that for him?
It's our party too.
But if it's a success, it's Marlon's
party.
Then I'm doing it for him.
Excuse me, Sir.
I didn't see you.
Hey, you're not English.
-I speak a bit of Dutch too.
What was your room number again?
Run!
A joint after ecstasy is like being
run over by a train full of teddy bears.
Dear Iris, you're not a sink.
We've discussed this.
What's wrong?
-Peter.
Come here, darling.
Come to me.
We'll get that Peter.
We'll have our revenge on him.
I got an SMS. The party promo's
in the bag.
You can stop advertising.
Kiss, Marlon.
"Kiss."
I think you're skipping something.
What happened to Dennis?
-Does he get his hazing?
No, that happened during the night
of the hotel adventure.
The girls.
-But it's all about the hazing.
You can't just skip that.
-I don't remember exactly.
Just try.
A Moroccan boy shot himself
in the foot.
It is unclear when it happened.
Last night, a penguin has been
stolen from the zoo.
It was stolen around 1:30AM.
I need the keys for the zoo.
We have to open the door.
I think the entrance is there.
-Come on, Dennis, climb over.
We're here.
If you have any information about the
penguin thief, contact the police.
Hi Marlon, Dennis speaking.
-This is Marlon's voice mail.
Lisa, stop calling me.
Dennis speaking. Can you call me back?
There's a penguin in my bathroom.
Please?
Hello Laris. But I'm calling
you now!
Tell them about my new harvest.
Shanaynay.
Peter comes with the football team.
-Cool.
Have you heard about the penguin thief?
He'll be at the party.
Don't say that.
We're not involved.
There was no penguin at all.
-No? Alright then.
I think we made enough calls.
-I think so too.
Hand.
-Hand.
Great.
PENGUIN KIDNAPPED FROM ZOO
Sanne!
-Hi.
Is there anyone in your bed?
-No, but I'll hide under it.
Dude, fix this finally.
-I'll fix your mother.
Do I have to pretend again?
Fuck it.
Where is he?
-Who? What?
I'm here!
Marlon isn't home.
-The penguin. You stole a penguin.
No, we didn't.
-You didn't?
And Marlon didn't either?
-No, he didn't.
That's a relief.
I heard all these strange stories.
Tell me, what's the problem
at... hand?
I don't know.
Or I do.
I'm in love.
Don't worry so much.
Marlon and I didn't do anything.
We made the peasant with the
tractor steal a penguin.
What?
I don't believe this.
-What's wrong?
Man, man...
We made the peasant with the tractor
steal a penguin?
Was that necessary, Mario?
Sorry.
When we'll find the perpetrator, we'll
throw him to the lions.
Hello.
-What would you like?
Herring, please.
-One?
-Have you got that penguin at home?
I asked if he has the penguin
at home.
Onions?
-No.
Pickles?
-No.
Chopped up?
-No.
What are you doing here?
-I came to see how you're doing.
And how the penguin's doing.
Come in.
Nice.
Where's the animal?
Not in there?
But that doesn't work.
It's so cute.
I wanted to return it, but everything
was closed off.
It looks a bit sad.
Do you want to give it some herring?
-That'll make it happy.
You have to return it tonight.
You can't separate penguins like that.
They're group animals.
It sucks that they made you
do this.
But at least we're friends now.
I'll return it tonight.
You helped me too. I can stop
advertising the party.
So I thought you deserved these.
Super, super.
Would you like some tea?
No, I have to go.
I'll put it in the fridge and
you answer the door, ok?
You can't come in now.
Wait a moment.
What's wrong with him?
-Has he got a girl?
Strange dude, this Dennis.
Look what I have.
I've got no time, sorry.
What?
That a penguin was stolen from
the zoo...
and the penguin and the thief are both
coming to the party.
Really?
What are you going to do?
-Oh no.
I have to go.
My friend Iris has problems again.
The neighbors just told me that I have
to go to the party with the penguin.
Marlon and Mario want that to get
more people to the party.
But you'll return the penguin to
the zoo, ok?
I don't want to see you at the
party with the penguin.
And don't tell anyone you're
the thief.
Don't brag.
Iris, are you still there?
Egbert Jansen with number 2.
And number 9, Peter De Bruijn,
recovered from an injury.
May we have a nice and fair game
at Swift.
Give me a cognac.
-A cognac.
A beer?
-Yes, give me a beer.
I'm scared.
-He's a cheat. Get him.
I'm afraid.
And we have started.
That looks like a foul.
Peter De Bruijn starts a solo
action.
Open up!
-De Bruijn! Great goal!
Open the door!
-Hello!
Peter has clearly recovered from
his injury.
For a while, he was absent due to
a fistula.
That's when the hair on your ass
grows into your anus.
Sounds good, buddy.
Damn it, fucking bitches!
Guys, this is a sports club.
-We're playing football.
And fistulas have nothing to do
with hair.
Really? What are they then?
For instance, you can have a perianal
fistula.
That's like an extra orifice,
that can grow to your bowels.
And after a while they fall out.
My sister's a docteress. That's why.
Sorry for doing this to you.
But I was framed too.
I know, I know.
Mother.
-Marlon.
Dennis, I had 17 missed calls
from you.
Yes, thanks a lot.
There's a penguin sitting next to me.
-So you didn't return it yet?
I wanted to ask you...
-To bring it to the party. No way.
Why not?
I thought we were friends.
It's a favor for a friend.
-A favor for a friend...
You used me.
You screw your buddies over.
You could have told me the whole
plan from the start.
Technically speaking, we weren't
friends yet.
Was that Mario?
I'm sorry, Dennis. I should have
told you from the start.
Shall we use the webcam?
-Let me get it.
See you in a bit.
If he doesn't bring the penguin to
the party, we'll look like idiots!
I will look like an idiot.
I'm the one with a reputation.
Hey, Dennis. Good to see you.
Is the penguin behaving?
Why don't you want to be the hero
of the party?
Because Sanne told me that you...
What a coincidence. Sanne.
Hey Sanne, we were just talking
about you.
Dennis and I.
It was no coincidence. Marlon was using
his acting talents to fool Dennis.
He didn't have Sanne on the phone.
All fake.
If Dennis had known...
Yes, he's a nice guy.
You want to dance with him
tomorrow?
He just has a little problem
with the penguin.
You said you don't want him to...
It would be really cool for the party...
So you don't really mind? Great.
I'll tell him that.
Alright, bye.
Did you hear that, Dennis?
-Yes!
Dennis, did you hear that?
-Yes, thanks a lot!
No problem.
Come to the back entrance tomorrow.
Mario will let you in and we'll take
you and the penguin on stage.
Then you can dance with Sanne.
-Super.
I'll see you and the penguin tomorrow.
-Ok.
Super thanks! Super!
Know who I'll be dancing with
tomorrow?
I'll be dancing with Sanne.
And we'll be the heroes of the party.
I look forward to it. You?
-Me too.
Did you hear about the penguin?
That would be really fantastic.
And the boys.
I'll help you in a moment, ladies.
Do you like it?
-Excellent.
I have to try my dance moves.
I hope you can do better because this
isn't very impressive.
What can I do for you, ladies?
-A nice dress.
You've already found the right
color.
Funny, isn't it?
Shall I throw it in?
Give me the whole box.
Where were you?
The party's about to start.
I'm here now, ain't I?
Wow, a gun.
Is it part of your outfit?
Fuckin' gangster.
-Looks quite...
It is real.
Achie wants me to hide it.
Favor for a friend.
What, Achie?
Terrible, isn't it?
Where's my chain?
There you are.
Shanaynay!
Marlon!
This is a disaster.
Go inside.
That whore did it.
I swear...
We're going to the party.
We have to go.
We have to go.
I'm a bit nervous.
-You look beautiful.
You're a tiger and you're going
to get him. Marlon's yours.
There are so many people!
-Fucking many people!
That car belongs to... Peter.
Better stay away from him and
his friends tonight.
I heard they lost the match 6-1.
Yes, maybe it's better.
Hey, Lotte.
-Hey, Lotte!
Looking good!
-Moustaches are the new beards.
Let's go in. I'm thirsty.
Mario, have you seen Marlon?
How's Shanaynay?
Dead.
Isn't he in a good mood.
Let's dance.
Welcome to this party!
All the tickets have been sold.
The party can start!
I worked hard to make this party
a success.
I think I succeeded.
Penguin, penguin!
Tonight, I'll be the most popular
guy in the city.
I'll have the most beautiful girl.
Everything ok?
The penguin and the thief...
who knows if they'll be coming.
But anyway, here's your DJ!
I have to go home with
a woman tonight.
What about Lisa?
She's an animal and she's easy.
As long as you stay away.
No problem.
I'm all about Sanne tonight.
Finally, dude.
Aren't you too late for Sanne?
-With my skills?
Make sure Dennis is on stage
at 12 o'clock.
I'll be somewhere else with Sanne.
Everything will be alright.
-Everything will be alright?
But I'll get the blame.
I've been looking for you.
Where have you been?
Dennis and the penguin aren't
coming, are they?
Not that I know.
You have the Shanaynay, right?
-And you have beer, right?
Keep your hands off me.
Lisa!
Fuck you then!
Hey, Mario!
Put me down!
Lotte!
Hello, Iris.
-Hello.
You made me look like a fool.
It was your own fault.
You cheated on me!
-We were even!
We're even now!
Asshole!
Mario.
You don't look good.
I'm doing fine. I'm happy.
Take it easy, Mario.
Jesus.
Let's go outside, Sanne.
No, I want to stay with Mario
for a bit.
Mario's doing fine.
Go outside so you can see
Iris' disaster.
What happened?
Peter... bla bla... boyfriend...
girlfriend... relationships.
Sex tape.
Fuck off, everybody.
My pleasure!
Hi.
-Hi.
Is it going well inside?
Want a bit?
No, thanks.
You have to go on stage.
Nice mask.
-I have a box full of them.
Maybe we can give them to
everybody.
So they're all penguins.
Fun.
How's the bird?
I think it's a bit nervous.
But so am I.
It'll be alright.
I'll start handing out the masks and
I'll let you know when to go on.
Ellektra, wow!
You're Ellektra!
-Yes, and who are you?
Dennis.
Dennis Van De Molen.
You look more like an Achmed.
-What?
You look more like an Achmed.
-I'm really the penguin thief.
Iris! Lotte!
Where can they be?
Did they go home?
I knew this would cause problems.
What's all this about?
Wait for my signal.
We'll arrest the penguin thief.
Go!
Let's go that way.
-You're kidding.
Sanne.
I'm a big fan of yours.
-Really?
Yes, really.
-I hate it but I love it.
That's my favorite track!
Did you fall?
Help him.
Where's my fucking money?
Where's my money?
-I want my money now!
Wait for my signal.
-Any hot sluts here?
Yes!
The moment we've all been
waiting for!
The penguin!
The penguin and the penguin thief!
Wait for my signal.
And go!
Police!
I've got the penguin thief.
We've got him.
Where are you, asshole?
I have the penguin and I don't
know what to do.
You've been screwing
everybody over.
Hold tight!
Don't think you can just fuck me!
Fuck off with your tiny dick!
Welcome to the voice mail of
Dennis Van Der Molen.
Dear mommy, I'm doing fine.
Leave a message.
Was that it?
He asked you something.
Is this the whole story?
Hello, is this the whole story?
-Yes, it is.
Such bullshit.
-What?
I said 'What bullshit.'
I don't believe what you're
saying.
It started fairly promising.
But towards the end, you went
over the top, don't you think?
But it's true.
-Of course.
Why would I be lying to you?
I've been here all day.
I have an ulcer and I want to go home.
And twenty people before you
had a better story.
What?
But my story's the truth.
That's what they all say.
-They all lie.
You have to believe me.
Please... I swear...
-Your jacket.
Will you bring the next one in?
-Yes.
Hi, I'm Berend.
You're also from the party,
I guess.
Yep.
I'm Danny.
-Hi, I'm Klaas.
Here.
Why have you all been arrested?
Because I'm the penguin thief.
-How can you say that?
I'm the penguin thief.
-I'm the penguin thief!
I'm the penguin thief.
-No, I'm the penguin thief.
I'm the penguin thief.
-Everybody knows I'm the thief.
You're also the penguin thief?
No, I'm in the wrong story
again.
Listen, I'm the penguin thief.
All penguin thieves are free to go
due to lack of evidence.
I'm the penguin thief.
-You can go too, buddy.
Like all the others!
I'm busy enough as it is.
What's wrong?
That was a great story.
A bit too great.
It's not raining anymore.
Did Mario kill the rabbit or not?
Yuck!
-It's a joke! It's not for real.
Now I don't believe anything
anymore.
And Iris and Lotte are
lesbians now?
Super gay!
Don't believe me then.
And what about Marlon?
Is he with Sanne?
No, of course not.
I would have expected that.
She's a bit of a prude.
Sanne isn't a prude.
I feel like a Turkish roll.
-That sounds good.
Don't you want to know what
happened to Dennis?
No, we're going.
Bye.
-Bye.
Bye.
Later.
-Bye.
Hi.
-Hi.
There you are finally.
-Finally?
Be happy I saved you.
-Yes.
Sorry, I'm late because it
was raining really hard.
Doesn't matter.
I'm glad you're here.
I had fun earlier.
All these people came to escape
the rain.
So I told them about the penguin
thief.
Dennis, you didn't tell them
you stole it, did you?
No, don't worry.
They didn't believe it.
I couldn't even finish the story.
How far did you get?
I only didn't tell them what
happened to us.
What did happen to us?