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Stick It (2006)
No. No, no. Sorry, bro.
This casa's not su casa. No way. Get out. There's like six other empty pools. - That aren't as deep. - You're not that good. Off this roof, onto the slide and into the pool stays. [ Fall Out Boy: I Slept With Someone in Fall Out Boy And All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me] - Let's do it! - Go, GC! Yo, let me use your phone. Why? It's gonna be done by the time anyone gets here. I'm not gonna call anyone. I'm gonna take some shots of the blood. You OK? Now the alarm goes off? Guys, guys, guys, gots to go! Leave it! Let's go, let's go, let's go! This isn't the first time I've made out with law enforcement. We've kinda had this ongoing flirtation. We've been on some dates. You know, broken up, got back together. But honestly, until now... ...I haven't been ready for anything steady. You're pushing it, Haley. But, you know, people change. And I felt like maybe I was ready for a more serious courtship. Meet the court. It looks to be about, uh, 14,000 in property damage. Haley, I assure you that juvenile incarceration is not as much fun as it sounds. So we're going to give you one more chance. Your father is willing to subsidize two options... - I'll take her, Your Honor. - Over my dead body. Ya dumped us, remember? The Texas Military Academy or a facility called VGA. Are you crazy?! This is not OK. VGA?! Let me have custody, Your Honor. - Alice! - All right, now stop this, both of you. Haley, I leave it to you to decide. Where would you like to go? Texas Military Academy, Your Honor. - VGA it is. - What? Meet my worst nightmare. Brice! VGA, are you crazy? Don't do this to her! So it's about a three-hour drive. Take as much time as you need. Where's my shit? Right there. So you're just dumping me? Huh? Just giving up and not even talking to me? You're the one that gave up, Haley. Guess you learned that from your mom. Don't send me to VGA. And what do you think I should do? Huh? I don't know what to do with you. You used to be such a good kid. That's so interesting. You used to be a good dad. Guess we're even. - Cracker! - Cracker, wait up! Aww. Dude, you didn't name names. I would never do that to you guys. - So, what happened? - Yeah, where you goin'? Uh... juvy. Outside of Houston. - Can we visit? - Yeah, when you bust me out. Know how I feel. Consider it done. Well done. Charred to a crisp. - OK, we have to go, guys. - Wait, wait. Take my phone. Use it if they don't take it. - What are you gonna use? - I'll steal my brother's. I got really good shots of that jump. - That shit was legendary. - Off the hook! Later, Cracker! Yeah! - Did you catch that? - What? That I'm totally her favorite? Dude, why do you always gotta bite my moment? It taste good? Delicious. Anybody home? Anybody care? VGA. Otherwise known as the Vickerman Gymnastics Academy. There's only one thing worse than having no control over your life. It's being forced to live it with people who hate you. And I was suddenly the filling in the middle of an "I hate you" sandwich. Meet the bread. Ladies, read my mind. Read my mind, ladies. Burt Vickerman used to whip up the best gymnasts west of the Mississippi. That is, until his gym starting producing more injuries than champions. We'd never met, and I'd been hoping to keep it that way. Is my mind saying "relax"? Maybe you can read my mind, and it's completely lost. Have I lost my mind? Is that why you're staring off into space? Ah. - Join us. - What is she doing here? Joanne Charis. Four-time national team member, five-time national Haley-hater. Why all the hate? Well, when you walk out on Worlds and lose Team USA some team gold, it's not personal. It's national. And in the world of gymnastics, hating me was practically a sport... ...in and of itself. Everyone... ...Haley Graham... has very graciously come out of retirement to join us. Being out of shape isn't funny. No making fun of her. - Get dressed, Haley. - Yeah, uh... I accidentally burned all my leotards last year. Hope this is OK. - You warmed up? - What, to you? No. Stretch and join vault rotation. Let's see where you're at. We're warmin' up Yurchenkos. Super. I'm goin' for a "Butt-ahara." - You mean a Tsukahara? - No. I mean a "Butt-ahara." Bing! Hm? I know. My landing was a little off. Oh, no. Take a seat. Just need to pick up your run a little bit. - Ivan can help you with that. - Hmm? Ivan. Don't you dare fart. Put me down, Shrek. Ow! This isn't the real world. This is my world. You don't have to like me or like it here. But you do have to respect it. Respect? Is this how you respect people? You throw 'em over a shoulder and violate personal space? Oh, goody. I heard you were like this. I'm so glad it's true. Sorry, what is it that you've done to earn my respect? We have rules. We have rules for training. Oh. And the reason that we have rules... ...and coaches is because this is gymnastics. Hey! That was rude. While danger and risk is the reality of what we do, Haley, it's calculated. Can't be calculated if you don't respect the laws. Uh-huh. The laws of gravity, for instance. OK, what's your point? Look, I want you to be back here tomorrow at 10am, ready to train. Or we can call the judge, and you can go to jail. Hey, you decide. Don't expect me to train. - And lose the hat tomorrow. - Lose the gum. Good morning, ladies. How's your neck? Feeling better? - It feels much better. - Good, good. Now, remember, stretch. Yeah? Morning, Haley. - Hey. - Be with you in a minute. Now... Well, you know about your daughter. Your daughter is the best one, I've gotta say. I've never seen anything quite like her. We'd like to fast-track her towards becoming an elite. - That's 20 hours a week. - Well, she's a star. - She's six. - Oh... I've got two other kids. That is a big commitment. We'd have her nationally ranked by the time she's ten. Olympic track by age 13. That's the gold. - You mean the goal. - Did I say gold? Well, you see? I guess Madison and gold are becoming synonymous for me. I'll have the check Tuesday. - Wonderful. - Uh, yeah. You got a lot of people going to the Olympics. Just wondering, um, what country are they gonna represent? State of Delusion? - Good, job, girls. - I'm so hot. It's so hot outside. Vick! When can we scrap the old long-sleeve leotards? We need new ones for championships. Every college will be scouting me. Not that you have to worry about any of that. New leotard might distract, you know, the judges and scouts from your lack of talent. It's a solid strategy. Gee, Pariah Carey, I wonder why no one's scouting you. Oh, I forgot, you don't matter. That she can even say the word "college" is an indictment against the whole institution. Hey, Filibuster, no one cares. - Wei Wei. Those moves are throwing off your routines. - Sorry. Chalk. Storage closet. Now. Pretty feet, pretty feet. Point them hard, and win the meet. Very good. Yes. Dorrie, did you see the last one? Wow. Dj-jealous, Haley? Bring back memories? We trained together at Defrank's for how long? That would be, uh... too long. And he'd give you so much attention because you sucked. Right. Yeah, I sucked my way to Worlds. Glad to see you haven't lost your love of accuracy, Joanne. Well, at least I didn't make it all the way to Worlds and... ...um, choke. Here, let me show you how, you little... Hey! Stop right now! Stop it! I said, pointy feet, not pointy words. Pointy words are mouth turds. God! I'm OK. She's crazy. I'm so jealous of Joanne that I've actually already memorized her preschool beam routine. Hey, easy. I choreographed that routine. Your secret is safe with me. We got some finger-flickin' good choreography. And the classic butt shelf. Joanne, how embarrassing. Then we have some useless bits of fluff to get us from point A to point B. And induces the urge to vacuum. - Mina, right? - Yeah, Mina. Mina, put down the phone. Can you tell Joanne that I'm gonna take over and do a real dismount? Joanne, Haley's on the phone. She's gonna do a real dismount. I heard her, thank you. How 'bout a double back? You will not throw a double back without training it first. - Close your eyes. - Over my dead body. - Little CPR might do you good. - Haley! Ahh... Shall we share our philosophy with Haley, ladies? Speak my mind. What are we about? Clean, safe routines, guaranteed to stick. Is he keeping your brains in jars? Or should I be concerned about the water? Shall we show Haley what discipline is all about? Please join us, Haley. Ehh. No, thanks. I'm kinda tired. Oh, all right. Fine. Ladies, outside, now! Point your toes, ladies. You're gonna keep going until Haley participates. This is, like, globally unfair. - We're gonna be here all night. - Lift your knees... Joanne. This is totally violating the penile code. Hey! Hey! You guys. What, do you want me to pick the lock, or what? Can you come let me in? Oh, right. Thank you. Get lost! Haley, let's go for a drive. - ...deserve to be. - A what? Thank you, Lorelei, that was delicious. Actually, you know what? I'm gonna finish this off... - No, no. - ...if that's OK. - Thank you. - Are you serious? I heard you were strict about diet, but this is just rude. Hey, you piss where I eat, you don't eat. Oh, but you do? What, does this mean you're eating my piss? Well, that's disgusting. What a charming young lady you are. Yeah, that's what they say. Listen, I don't suppose, uh, college gymnastics is on your to-do list, right? Correct. College gymnastics is one big fat to-don't. Great. Then in addition to sparing innocent collegiate gymnastics coaches everywhere, you can keep any purse money that you might win, free and clear. I'm not competing or training again. Ever. Oh, you're gonna piss off the judge and kiss 18 goodbye? I guess. - Hey. - What the...? The IG Classic is comin' up in a month. Now, you apply yourself, you could win some restitution money. It could get ya outta here. What do you think? I think if you showed up at the Classic with me an angry mob would probably cut your brakes. - I got insurance. - Really? Well, no, thank you. This sport is a total joke. You know this. Sorry to dis your life's work and all. No offense. Hey, none taken. There's nothin' fair about a girl landing a double pike and losing a tenth 'cause her toes weren't pointed. Nothin' fair about judges who don't have instant replay, and they're lookin' for perfection. Can you imagine football without instant replay? - What about the rules? - It'd be mayhem. The Code of Point? Hey... Yeah. I mean, it makes conventionality good and innovation bad. What's the point? How 'bout the fact that you were one of the greatest natural talents the sport's ever seen? Hmm? C'mon, you coulda been great. You're not actually pushing the "you coulda been great" speech. You are a total clich. You realize that, right? Oh, OK, come on, uh, Original Recipe, let's hear it. You give me the speech. Fine. Uh... Talent out of the ass. Natural ability that half the world's gymnasts would kill for, and you're flushing it away. Don't flush your life away, kid. Step away from the bowl. Whatever. Well, you got the words right anyway. I wasn't great. I was obedient. I'm sick and tired of being judged. I don't need it. - Fascinating. - What? For someone who hates being judged, you're one of the most judgmental people I've ever met. Come on. Well, it's only about five miles to the gym. Just down here. Hang a right at the gas station. I know how to get back. Oh, good. Hey. Hey, Miss Rebel Without Applause. Tell you what... ...you choose to compete in the IG Classic, you can come back. How's that? Hike'll give you a chance to think things over. Yeah, well, what if I choose not to come back? Haley... ...tell you the truth... ...nobody cares. Nobody cares what ya do. Wait. I don't... I have nowhere else to go. Yeah, I know. - Hey. - Ew. What? Oh, how was your run last night? - Oh, fantastic, thank you. - Yeah? Listen, are you being serious with me? Because I've had enough of lunatic adults for a while. - I'll do what I said I'd do. - For real. I'll train you for the Classic. Help you win the purse. Great. So then here's the deal: Uh, I'm not struggling in front of those robots. All right. I'll let you train at the old gym till you're ready to face the music. - How's that? - You're gonna trust me to be in there alone and if anything happens, - I don't wanna hear... - I got insurance. Come on, get goin'. You're in training, kid. - Get goin'! - What are you talking about? No, I'm... We just discussed... I... You suck! Gymnastics tells you "no" all day long. It mocks you over and over again. Telling you, you're an idiot. That you're crazy. If you like running full speed towards a stationary object, vault's for you. If you like peeling pieces of skin the size of quarters off your hands, bars is for you. Because the only thing more fun than rips is when your rips get rips. It's super sexy. And floor... Are you serious? I mean, who doesn't wanna parade around in a leotard getting wedgies and doing dorky choreography? It's delicious. If you like falling, then gymnastics is the sport for you. Oh! You get to fall on your face, your ass, your back, your knees and your pride. Good thing I didn't like falling. I loved it! Hey. This mean you can finally walk again? Or should we keep the icemaker on overdrive? Question, they say those who can't do, coach. So I was wondering, what's your excuse? Ha, ha, ha. No excuse. Missed a release move on high bar, fractured my spine. No biggie. When I finally got the OK to train... ...got back up on the tramp and, you know, things were different. Threw a layout. Threw a full. And, uh... You know what? I'm not tellin' you this story. It's not even a story. It's a nonevent. Huh. You were scared. Ow! Ow. No. I was done. I know exactly what that feels like. You chose to be done. I didn't choose it, my body did. Well, you know, I think you should get back on the tramp. To make sure you still suck, ya know? Yeah, no thanks. Get off that thing and start workin' skills on floor. - You gonna be ready soon? - Yep. - Yeah? You gonna hurt yourself? - Probably. Just as long as you don't get blood on the equipment. Too late. You tackle the guard, I'll grab Haley. Why do I have to tackle the guard? You're bigger. I'll tackle the warden, you find Haley. Oh, now it's a warden. - Shh! - What? Stairs. May I help you? May we? Haley. Ouch. - Oh. - These yours? - Holy shit! - Damn. - What are you guys doing here? - What's up? Cracker. - Juvy, huh? You call this juvy? - Hmm. OK, trust me, Poot, this is hard time, OK? He's crazy. - Yeah. - You've no idea. We had maneuvers. Check this out. OK, boys. Time to go. - We're cool. Thanks. - Yeah. Come on, even prisons have visiting hours. They're scarin' the minivans outta the moms next door. Please. Those mommies were totally hitting on us. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hitting on us? Mommies and me, dude. Mommies and me. It's the devil's candy, boys. Trust me. Say goodbye. Whatever. What've you been doing? - Probably riding a ton. - We've got this new location... Out! - What's up your butt? - What'd you say about my butt? I... Um... Whatever it is, it's sideways. Come on! Out! Out! Come on! No, but seriously, you gotta come with us. - We found this new, uh... - I got new... - Let's go. Come on. - Whoa, gramps. Every party needs a Poot That's why we invited you party pooper Let's go. You suck. The only reason I'm doing these tricks is because somebody somewhere said, "I don't care if this is nuts, and I don't care if it hurts. I'm doing it. I'm gonna climb this insanely high mountain. Watch me." When you're the first to climb a new mountain in gymnastics, they name it after you. A Gienger. A Rulfova. A Chusovitina. A Shaposhnikova. They all rocked. And we salute you. Can you imagine making it all the way to Worlds and walking out? It's totally insane. I heard she was tanking her double pikes in warm-ups. I think she just choked. I can hear you... and I'll kill you. You're poppin' the clutch. Losin' traction. I'm not poppin' shit. Oh, really? You sure? I'm so sure I'm practically deodorant. You are such a con artist. - What? - Haley... I'm not the one sellin' tickets to the Olympic podium. Why not throw something you can actually land, hm? Even better, why not live to tell about it? Come here. I'm competing this pass at the Classic. - No, you're not. - Yes, I am. - No, you're not. - Yes, I am. Know what? If you think I'm getting on the competition floor with some stupid, watered-down, cookie-cutter routine, you are seriously senile. Have you ever seen anyone blow a knee? - No. - Do you wanna keep it that way, or should we have an ambulance on call for ya? Call 'em up. Do a handstand. Now. You're pushin' it. Let your clutch out slower. Get some traction. That way you won't be fishtailing all over the place. You won't crash. - Stop flooring it. - Way to build trust. Couldn't resist. You're poppin' your clutch. Haley, I'm not gonna tell ya to play it safe, 'cause I'd be wasting my time. You wanna throw hard tricks, throw hard tricks. When you wanna control them, see me. Hmm? Mat burn. ...World Championships two years ago. Team USA was just one rotation away from winning the gold medal. Haley Graham was set to go for the Americans, last up on the floor. Instead, she stunned her teammates, spectators and coaches alike by walking out of the arena and into an automatic disqualification. Why'd she walk out? Few can forget the image of teammate Tricia Skilken crying as her dreams of gold melted away. Later this year, at 23, Tricia will try to make that World Championship team one more time, and win that elusive World Championship hardware. How much are these? Tumble track, ladies. Come on, warm up. Ahh. And to what do we owe this pleasure? Don't make me say it. Say what? I wanna control my tricks. What was that? Did you say something? I want to control my tricks. I'm sorry, I'm having a very difficult time hearing you. Right. I'm not... I know you can hear me. You can hear me. - Speak up. - OK, great. I want to control my tricks. OK? Oh, you wanna learn control. But you know everything. What could I possibly show you? Vick? Can we retire the old long sleeve competition leos? I have a constitutional right to bear arms. Woo-hoo. Bailey's back. Joanne, go do your independent study. Well, doesn't she have to homeschool? Mina? Tell the foxy moron I got my GED when I was 15. Joanne, Haley got her GED when she was 15. What's with all the closed captioning? OK? I'm not mute. And GED? What does drunk driving have to do with school? I know it's tough. Chest up if you can manage it. Tight knees. Feet above the beam. Tight. Tight. Tight knees. Tight. That's seven. Come on, just three more skin the cats, ladies. Flat hips on those levers. Aw, come on, those skin the cats belong in the litter box, ladies. Come on. Concentrate. Get used to this kinda pain. You know you've got to endure this. Elite gymnastics is like the Navy SEALS, only... ...harder. We're only a half hour in. And there are like, 2,000 Navy SEALS, but there are only 200 elite gymnasts. I guess that's because most kids'd rather have a life than spend six hours a day training tricks that could kill you. Look, don't be fooled by the leotards, people. The things gymnasts do make Navy SEALS look like wusses. And we do them without a gun. Relax your face. Relax your face. Relax your face. Here, here, here. Relax that. Your muscles. Based on progress and consistency in workouts, I've selected the four athletes who will compete in the IG Classic. They are... Lacey... ...Devon... ...Brooke... ...and Joanne. - What? What about me? - What about you? - Our deal? - Made this selection based on who's ready. If you were ready, you'd be on the list. - You just get to decide? - Yes. They get spots handed to them? What about the rest of us? I don't like what you're instimulating. - "Instimulating"? - I have totally earned my spot. - Girls. - I'm practically a Dalmatian. Dalmatians are born with spots. They don't earn them, which is exactly my point. Dogs are people too, Haley. Very nice, Joanne. Touch. Thank you. All right. You know what? Take whoever, Vick. Nobody cares. Nobody cares what ya do, Vick. Nobody cares what you do. They're all lazy. Put some fire under their gluteus and make competition. All right, all right, all right, all right. You know, Haley makes a good point. Why not an in-house competition? Because we no lo need-o. Let's get back to work, ladies. No killing Haley in her sleep. You know, I would be nervous if I were you too. The judge on the end is a tumbling tyrant. If you even think about under-rotating, she'll deduct. Yeah, I know. The one next to her... Obsessive-compulsive about handstands. I'm talking, hit your vertical or die, ladies. And please, please, for me, watch out for the vault dick on the end. If you don't stick it, you pretty much don't exist. - Am I right, Haley? - Are you still pimping that speech? I don't know what you're talking about. She's psychin' you out. Look, ignore her. When I get nervous, I have this ritual. OK? I just look at the judges, and I picture them in their ugly blue blazers, trying to do what I can do. Whatever ya do... don't picture them naked. - It's really gross. - Too late. So the winner today is... ...Wei Wei. Mina was second, followed by Haley. - And then... - Mm? Huh? ...Lacey. Joanne will be an alternate. What?! I am nationally ranked. I am not an alternate. Joanne, you've already qualified for Championships. - Mom. - The Classic could be a qualifier for those who aren't currently ranked. Come on, fair is fair. This meet was a joke. Come on. Dj-jealous, Joanne? Do you have anything to say to me? Yeah. Who taught you to control your landing? Hm? Some guy. - Watch your rotation. - Morning, ladies. - Whoa. - Don't force it, Lacey. Easy. - Joanne. - Hmm? I need you to lend Haley your team leo for the Classic. - Ew! - Ew! Unsanitary. - Yeah. - Ow! Ohh! Joanne, pack your bags. Lacey, I need you to lend Haley your leo for the Classic. Yes! - Good luck, girls. - Later. Wait. Do you have a license to practice gymnastics? It was revoked. Get in. I'll see ya in there. - Hey. - Hi. What do they have that we don't have? - Yeah. - Uh, lives. Time. Boobs. Just ignore 'em. You're gonna shut up and drive. Well, at least no one here hates you. Yet. I mean, you're new. You can make a splash. Let it rip. Let what rip? Make the judges look. But I'm not talking about putting a cute smile on your face as if they're doing you a favor. Make them look. If you're gonna eat mat, ya eat mat hard. Don't play it safe. Ya gotta throw your best tricks as hard as you can. - Haley! - Hey, Haley! What's up? - Woo! - Hey, man. Hey. That was for Worlds. What?! Are you kidding me?! - D'you see that? - What? You OK? Take a minute. Go clean up. Buy yourself a new leo at the concession stand outside. - Here. You OK? - Yeah, I'm fine. - Hmm? - Yeah, I can handle it. Ugly... Hey. Can you believe this? - Did you see it? - Yeah, I saw it. Are you... totally covered in soda or what? - Thank you. - I'm so pissed at that kid. We were totally gonna throw drinks on you. I feel so upstaged. They think they can just hate on you like that? I know. Who do they think they are? They're fakers. Can't stand fake Haley-haters. It's a bloody outrage I tell ya. We hate Haley more, people, so get in line! Would you shut up? - Can't I be upset? - Can I go compete now? Can I eat? - I'm so hungry. - Let's get some nachos. You know boys? Yes. They're called friends. You should try it sometime. OK, Wei Wei, control it now. Let's focus. - Come on, Wei Wei, let's go! - You got it. Come on, let it rip. Tighten up. Push up. Let it rip. You know what you're doing. Let's go. Come on! Dude. - All right, Wei Wei. - Way to go! Good job, Wei Wei. Hm? What happened? Looked like you were goin' for a one and a half? - What happened? - Uh... I don't know. It's OK now. Shake it off. Get in on the board now. Oh! How did we not know about this sport? What the hell was that?! Since when are you throwin' double fronts? Hmm? - What was that? - Nothing. Nice double front. That was amazing. Who cares if you took a few steps? - The judges. - Whatever. You rock. - What're you doing? Hmm? - Don't worry, I'm doing what I practiced. - No, listen. Li... - Not gonna make you look bad. This isn't about me looking bad. You're not here to coach the girls. You're here to place top three, win some money and get out. You do your job, let me do mine. Fine, then I'm flooring it. You should really try it some time. Don't do it. - Come on, Haley, let it rip. - Woo! Let's go, Haley! Come on, you got it. - All right, Haley! - Woo! Yeah... Too much rock for one hand, baby! Yeah! - It's all right. - Nice stick, Wei Wei. Stop being so nasty, Joanne. It's not called "gym-nice-tics." Don't you see what she's doing? She wants you to do your hardest tricks because she knows you'll mess up. She's been practicing that stuff in the old gym for weeks now. She's trying to get you guys to mess up so she can win the prize money. Duh. Can you believe Chris Defrank is here with Gloria? Pipsqueak. We trained together at Defrank's for what, five years? Ugh, I can't stand him. She should get at least two-tenths deducted for that hair. Or not. Haley! Haley! Over here. Hi, honey. I miss you, sweetheart. I missed you so much. Hey, you're doin' a great job. I need to talk about comin' back with Chris. Doesn't look good, having you trainin' with somebody else. - No. - Hey, hey, hey. You owe Chris some respect. I don't respect people who don't respect me. I suppose you think Burt Vickerman respects you. Yeah. Actually, I do. The only thing Burt Vickerman respects is money. He cares about cash and cashing in. And if your daddy hadn't paid him off, you'd be sittin' at Texas Military Academy right now. What do you mean, "paid him off"? Everybody there pays. Your daddy called every elite gym in the country. Nobody wanted you. Honey, your dad's payin' four times what every other girl there is payin'. You thought he was on your side? Haley. He only has one side. His. - I gotta go warm up beam. - Haley. - You need some lipstick. - No. Mom. - Let me, let me, let me... - Don't! Keep it up, hon. You're doin' great. Stand up straight. Eyes and teeth, sugar. Arms. Arms. Spot. That's it. - Nice. - What? You wanna win the purse, we get it. Yeah. I hope we ate mat hard enough for you. Flat hips. Today's not just about you, ya know. Expected more out of you. OK, tight knees now. Whoo! Oww! Oh! - It's all right. Let's go! - Come on, Haley! Shake it off, Haley. Come on. You got another event. Let's finish big. Warm up, Mina. Let's go. 'Scuse me. Haley. Don't do this again. Let's go back in there and finish this meet. Come on. Don't bail again. Finish the meet. - Finish it for yourself! - For me? Yeah, you know, you said something about the fact that this was about me. You know, helping me. My freedom. You forgot to tell me about the part you were cashing in on it. Haley. I meant everything I said. I never lied to you. Everything you said was an insurance policy to get those fat checks from my father. Haley, you're not leaving like this. You're gonna go back in there. Finish this meet. Don't make this another Worlds. - No. - Don't bail. You don't know the first thing about Worlds. Fine, I give up. You know, we gave it a shot. I'm gonna talk to your father. Maybe you should go back to Defrank's. - Chris Defrank's? - Hey... You want me to go back to Defrank's? Well, you don't listen to me. You know? Clearly you listened to him long enough to... Yeah, long enough to hook up with my mom. Hmm? Long enough for him to... ...rip my family apart. Oh, hey. When d...? When did ya find this out? Before floor... ...at Worlds. Aw, Haley, I... I had no idea. - I'm sorry. - You know what? You didn't owe it to me to be a decent coach. You owed it to me to be a decent human being. You tanked like a rock star. That was insane. Yeah, right. Hey, Haley, can I ask you something? And I'm being completely serious. Why do girls wear so much glitter and clippage in their hair? I mean, that is some uptight friggin' hair. Right? How do leotards not ride up their butts? - Yeah, good one. - Tuf-Skin. Aww. They have ass calluses? No. Uh... It's just this sticky stuff you spray on your butt so the leotard doesn't ride up. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Can I get that job? I wanna be Tuf-Skin. - Shut up. - Hey. What would happen if you put some of that Tuf-Skin stuff on tough skin? Your head would stick to your butt. Why would my head stick to my butt? 'Cause your head's already up there! Ah! Don't worry, Frank... ...my head's up my butt too. Far. Oh. Have a seat, Haley. I'd like you to read something for me, please, out loud. Second paragraph. Uh... "The gymnastics world, like the real world, can be a very unforgiving place. As I know all too well, there might be too much chalk on the blackboard for her to get a clean slate, competing with me or anyone else. And Haley has earned the right to a clean slate. She's quite capable of deciding what's best for her. And I encourage the court to include her perspective in its decision. Sincerely, Burt Vickerman." That's all, Haley. You're free to go. What about the restitution? Oh, that's been taken care of. Be good. Sounds like you're built for it. Thank you. You know, Haley, there are a lot of great people who had jerks for parents. We gotta stick together. - The tights? - What are they? In Special Ed? - You'd know, huh? - Nice. Whatever. Hey, guys, I have a gut feelin' somethin' bad's gonna happen. - What? - What do you mean, dude? Oh! Dude, keep it over there! Whoo! - Oh! - What? I can't hold it. Stay tight in the air. Oh, nice! Nice. Nice. You got through an entire letter without using the word "gold." It was tough. And the restitution. I mean, was that...? Dev? Give us a sec, would ya? Look, don't... uh, don't read anything into it. - You didn't have to do that. - I... I paid with your father's money. You know what? I, uh... I completely misjudged you. Hmm. I've decided I'm gonna take you to Championships. You know, show you how to really do it. Come on, you're high on chalk. Who even said you could stay? I didn't say you could stay. - Haley! - Hey, Mina. - Hey. - Hey, Wei Wei. - We're so sorry. - Yeah. Joanne kind of misrepresented... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't worry, I understand. Listen, I'll stay on one condition. Oh, this I gotta hear. Does it involve you and self-imposed silence? Get back on the tramp. You girls wanna see Vick do a layout? He's so, like, old, though. - Hey. - Uh, he might break a hip. No. He'll be fine. Come on. I'll go to Championships if you get on the tramp right now, and you do a layout. - It's your call. - Don't do it, Vick. This is a really bad idea. Come on, Vick. Vick! Vick! Vick! Vick! If you get on this tramp, you will have a cardiovasectomy. I will have a cardiovasectomy. Come on, Vick! Come on! Come on, Vick! - You can do it! - Guys. Peer pressure. - Ah! - Think about your weenus. - Come on, Vick! - Go, Vick! Vick! Vick! Vick! Vick! - Layout! - Layout! Layout! - Come on, Vick! - Layout! Layout! Layout! OK, you can come down now. How 'bout a full? - What? - Yeah, boy! Yeah! - Oh, no! - Oh, my God. I told you so. Call 911. Ohh! - Bye, Vick. - He can't hear you. - What's up? - Hiya. Hey, ladies! How ya doin'? Hi. I'm Poot, and this is my hetero life-mate, Frank. And we're here to be your hosts for this evening 'cause we're goin' out! Ow! No, we aren't. We have workouts to finish. Who died and made you Nadia? You know you wanna go. We can't just leave. Championships are three weeks away. Our routines need to be perfect. Put some clothes on and get in the truck. We're goin' out. - Come on! - Yeah! Come on. Can you speak? Can you do anything besides gymnastics? OK. Anything to get out of this 'tard. That's "leotard" without the "leo." In case you were wondering. Dude, she's hot. What? You don't think she's hot? I think she's hot. Dude, she has an apple butt. - A what? - An apple butt. [ Fannypack: Nu Nu Whoops. OK, now my turn. So is Frank your, like, boyfriend or something? Like, no. - Is Poot? - No. - Why not? - Ew! So they're, like, fair game? - Ye... - Hey, stupid. I prefer the term "meat," please. That was spastic. Thank you. May I accompany you to the jellybeans? You may. After you, milady. Yes! We're out of the starlet blue. We're out, we're out, we're out. - Excuse me. I'll take this one. - OK. - And I'm so sorry about them. - Why? It's hilarious. - Hey. - Hey. We also have that style with spaghetti straps. Huh. So, uh, why are you buying a dress? Because you're taking me to your prom. Well, shouldn't you be buying a tux? Just kidding. We can both wear dresses. Don't worry. I'll totally shave. OK. I have a gut feelin' somethin' bad's gonna happen. Oh, dude! Woo-hoo! - Bye-ya. - Later. - Call you guys later. - Sweet. Maybe. Maybe not. Depends. - Poot? - Yes. - We have a lot to review. - We do? Bye, geeks, I'm out. - Later. - See ya. When is your prom? I need time, dates, transportation. And you better be getting me a corsage. Are you kidding me? She's a bitch. - Dude. - What? You heard me, Miss Bossy Booty. I don't like how you act. Dude, I totally hate you right now. Uh, see, what Frank is really tryin' to say is, um, it would be my honor. You think I'm a bitch? No. Yeah, kinda, I do. But I don't have the problem with it that Frank does. I mean, he's gay. - Call me. - Stalk you. Dude, I don't even know you anymore. What's a corsage? The universal sign for... ...whipped. Dude, what's so wrong about bein' whipped? When is that a bad thing? Ever? Huh. Good point. I'm going to prom I'm going to prom I'm going to prom I'm going to prom. Can you believe it? Mommy, I'm going to prom. - No. No. No. No. - I'm going to prom. Josie. We did not... Stop dancing. Stop it! We did not move here from Wichita so you could go to prom. I just wanna go to one prom. They don't give out tiaras at Championships. We moved here so you could go to the Olympics. - Phyllis. - Mom. The Olympics are ages away. Prom is, like, any minute. - OK. - Phyllis. You are a 24-hour gymnast. Not part-time. Full-time. I know. - Phyllis. - And... ...we have an agreement that you agreed to honor. You are not going to the prom. End of discussion. - OK. - May I? Phyllis, now Joanne is a lovely gymnast. I think we oughta get real about her chances of making the Olympic team. The only reason we're here is because we agreed that she'd be going to the Olympics. I know. I know. I, uh... I guess I lied. Hmm? Look, everyone... Everyone wants to hear that their kid is special. And they are. And maybe they're going to the Olympics. - "Maybe." - Yes. Maybe they will. We don't pay for "maybe." People told me I was nuts to bring Joanne here. And they were right. I'm just glad that I'm getting her out of here in one piece. A coach who's a has-been doesn't coach champions. He just makes more has-beens. Goodbye, Burt. You will miss me. Championships are three weeks away. - Where we gonna go? - I'll coach you myself. I thought you wanted her to win. And what would you know about winning? Joanne. You're more than welcome to stay. Josie, let's go. I think I'm gonna go to prom first. Are you OK? Oh, it's just... I haven't had four girls qualify for Championships in a long time. Define "long." Actually, I haven't had four girls qualify... ...ever. Are you gonna cry? No, I'm not gonna cry. It's just... It's a nice thing. It's beautiful. - Jesus, Hay. - What? You can cry. Doesn't make you any less of a man, Vicki. Come on, I won't tell the parents. Welcome to the Neutrogena National Gymnastics Championships. Hello, everybody. I'm Tim Dagget, joined along with Elfi Schlegel. It is two days of gymnastics competition on tap. Today, the all-around finals. Day two, the individual event finals. Think of the difference as a jack-of-all-trades versus an individual-event specialist. She should do her routine, then warm up. - They're already stretched. - They need to warm up. - No. - They've been stretching. Oh, crap. Hm, Vickerman. Must be some crutches around somewhere. Tonight, the all-around competition, where the top six qualify for a berth on the World Team. The longtime favorite, Tricia Skilken, is hoping to make her fifth and final World before her retirement. While gymnastics wild child, Haley Graham, has come out of retirement to try to make it for the second time. Will her pyrotechnics rise to the occasion? Or will she simply flame out? Few can forget Haley Graham's walkout of the World Championships two years ago. Haley was last to go on the floor exercise when she shocked fans and teammates by exiting the arena and walking into an automatic disqualification. That stroll knocked Team USA completely out of medal position. If ever there was a score to settle, it's between Tricia Skilken and Haley Graham. Tricia. I didn't mean to wreck your Worlds. Mine was disintegrating and... I wrote you a note, apologizing. I don't know if you got it or not. We have a tremendous amount of talented athletes out on the floor. One of them, Haley Graham, brings a lot of potential to this US team. She could medal internationally on virtually all of the apparatus. Super power, huge difficulty, but she is not known for her consistency. And, Elfi, when ya get right down to it, in gymnastics, consistency over flash is what rules the day. And, Tim, we have to remember that for Haley, it's her record and her reputation that will really be the only thing stopping them from handing her that valuable one-way ticket to Rome and the World Championships, later on this year. It's the same old Championships, but I am a totally different person. And even though I'm pretty sure that I'll be judged for who I was and not who I am, I know I have to face this. Four events and four judges per event. That's 16 judges ready to tell us just how badly we suck. Sixteen people ready to tell us just how perfect we're not. But here we are... chasing perfection. The problem is, perfection doesn't exist. But just try telling that to the judges. Where'd ya find those deductions? - The floor? Trash? - 'Scuse me? Can you move? Oh, very clever. No, no, we decided her start value is a nine-point-eight, not a ten. You know the strength required for that? You realize what you're doin' to this girl? - I'm aware, thank you. - This about her routine? Look, we don't want to encourage the girls to attempt such a dangerous skill and risk injury. Surely, you know, with your track record, you could understand that. I mean, probably, anyway. - Oh, I understand. Believe me. - Could you move, please? It doesn't matter how hard we run or how high we flip. Leave your hands on the vault table too long, deduction. If you use one arm instead of two, big deduction. And if your feet clip the vault before they hit the floor... you're done. So you say you want lyrics in your floor music? Huge deduction. Music finishes, but you don't? Two-tenths deduction. It doesn't matter how well you do. It's how well you follow their rules. And that just blows. It's a little bit crazy, Elfi, that Nastia Liukin threw a quad twist on floor exercise and got a deduction on a silly technicality. I can't believe it. It's a commentary on judging and how it's gotta change. Haley Graham gave the performance of her life tonight. No way she should've ended up seventh in the standing. She might've been shut out of the all-around, but the judges can't keep her outta the event finals tomorrow. Well, Tricia, congratulations. How does this win compare to other competitions for you? It felt so great. I just wanted to go in and hit four for four and qualify for Worlds one last time. And, um, winning was just icing on the cake. What about Haley Graham out there? Given your history, how did it feel competing with her? It was so great competing with Haley again. Um, I wish her all the very best. - OK. Good luck in the future. - Thank you. Your routines were amazing. You'll win floor at event finals for sure. - No. I didn't even qualify. - That is so lame. Boo-hoo. Stop whining. - Diva. - Dee-vil. I think you are a very good coach. - Really? - I do. There's a little action in the back section? - That's not too bad. - Not... not good. I wouldn't, ya know... Oh, yikes. Those two. I worked with her last year. Nightmare. On Elm Street. Have you seen her face? - Hey. Scotch. Neat, please. - Yes, sir. Hey, Burt, how ya doin'? Good job today. That Haley is a handful, isn't she? What do ya mean? Oh, come on, Burt, I built that kid. I mean, you can glom on for the ride, but everyone knows who built her. Make no mistake, buddy. Yeah, that "kid"... That kid is here in spite of you, Chris. You're kidding. You know, if I didn't have four girls competing tomorrow, I'd kick your ass just for thinking you had anything to do with her. She might not have medaled, but at least she can still walk, right? Good job, Burt. Unbelievable. Every girl here wants the same thing: To justify this crazy thing we do and stand on that podium and be the best. And we want it so bad we will fight each other for it. But who are we really competing against? I mean, we all wanna win, but should we be fighting each other... ...or the officials? You know, maybe they judge us so harshly because of one thing: They really wanna be like us. I mean, everyone knows... ...they're just jealous. Phyllis? Alice! How are you? Oh! Did you have work done? You look great. I'll see ya later. - Thanks! - We'll talk later? That's not an answer. First up on vault is Mina Hoyt. And, Elfi, she is vaulting a handspring double front somersault. Has a start value out of a 10.0. Very few gymnasts perform this vault because it is so incredibly difficult. I haven't seen one done since Produnova of Russia dominated with it nearly a decade ago. Her body will flip over three times in the air and somehow find the floor. And, Tim, I just saw her do it moments ago in the warm-up. It is unbelievable. Come on, Mina. Let's go. Let's go, Mina. Go, Mina! That was incredible. The height, the distance. Bam! The stuck landing. If they don't give her a ten on this, there is no justice. Come on, judges, give her a ten. How can they not? What? Elfi. Whoa, I can't believe it. A nine-five? This is an outrage. - Tim, I'm shocked. - Oh, crap. You're not supposed to be up here, Burt. Where is this deduction coming from? Hmm? Her bra strap was showing, Burt. It's an automatic deduction... - Come on! - ...if an undergarment's showing. That rule... Doris, she's flipping through the air. She's spinning, Doris. Of course her bra popped out. That rule is ancient. Apparently, so is her bra. Don't make me red card you, Burt. I really don't wanna red card you, OK? Vick. Vick, don't. Come on. Even I think that's low. And I should be happy. I mean, I wanna win. Your bra was sticking out. One-tenth off because her bra was sticking out. I've never even heard of that. They didn't deduct her because of her bra. They deducted her because I'm her coach. Come on, Haley. You're up. This is where the sport loses fans. The system, the judging, it's too confusing. The crowd just saw a spectacular skill. They don't understand why a gymnast is not rewarded for it. - That's wrong. - Come on. You got it. Come on, Haley. Come on, Haley. Did she just scratch? An intentional scratch from Haley Graham in event finals. This has never happened before. Way to stick it. Next time you should stick out your tongue too. I would, but my coach likes it when I control my tricks. That was for you. Come on, Joanne. Let's get out there. - Come on. You got it. - Joanne! She is walking down the runway? There is something really weird going on here today, Elfi. You can say that again, Tim. There is something really weird going on here today, Elfi. Elfi, I have never seen this before. Back-to-back athletes scratching intentionally. Beautiful! I couldn't let you have all the attention. 'Cause of the scratching, looks like Mina Hoyt is going to be the new national vault champion. This is unprecedented. My God, I'm the new vault champ. - I know! - Woo! And I loved not going. I mean, if we chose the winner on every event, we could actually control the results for a change. Oh, my God, you're right. Since when are you brilliant? I don't know. Since now. You guys, we are going to scratch and let Nastia... - Yeah. Absolutely. - She's the best. - This is ridiculous. - Woo! Whoo! Good job, Gloria! The judges are trying to figure out what is gonna happen. I'm not so sure either, Elfi. - Come on, Nastia! - She's goin' for it. Well, Elfi, we've seen five athletes, and no one's done that, right there, an element. So that means that she is going to be the uneven bar champion just by that skill alone. Whoo-hoo! Way to go, Nastia! Amazing. She's amazing. - I'm so glad we picked her. - Whoo! - I'm so glad we picked her. - Picked her? Unreal. That rocked. Nastia Liukin will be the new uneven bar champion. Well, the athletes have spoken. And there will be no silver, no bronze medals on bars today. Thanks. It was everybody. After what happened to Nastia Liukin and Wei Wei Yong yesterday and Mina Hoyt today, I think it's safe to say the athletes are sending the judges a message. This is historic, Tim. I've never seen this kind of organized rebellion before. Are you going to tell me who is going to compete and who isn't? You're not going to tell me, are you? Oops. 'Cause there are alternates who would like to compete. They can't do anything. He's trying to save his butt. Tricia's gonna compete. So selfish. Game over. Haley, I don't have to go. I can scratch, and we can still make our point. No, no, no, we picked you. We wanna see your routine. It's your call. OK. Cool. We have seen scratch after scratch. The meet director, prior to this event, he decided to put in the alternate, Tricia Skilken, because he thought for sure he'd get a routine out of her. We'll see. Here comes her big acrobatic moment right here. Connected together. Two aerial skills, very nicely done. Is this how you feel when you watch my routine? Uh, yeah. I am so sorry. She's looking really secure in this routine. Vary exact in all her movements. Now, she does do a very interesting skill that's coming up here. Two in a row. Very nicely done. Illusions, they're called. What'd I miss? Just kidding. Just the dismount left. Double twist. Excellent job. Why don't you just make out. Whaddya think, huh, Wei Wei? Beat that. Oh! I'm so shakin' things up. That's right. - Come on. You got this. - Let's see what ya got. - Come on, Wei Wei! - Come on, Wei Wei! Whoo! I think the judges are trying to figure out what is gonna happen. I'm not so sure either, Elfi. She's goin' for it. Yeah, looks like we got another routine. Good job! All right, Wei Wei! Come Baby Come] Whoa! Well, it's very original, but I'm afraid the judges probably won't know what to do with that routine, Elfi. With those scores, Tricia will get the gold, and Wei Wei will take home a silver. So it is old school versus new school. Tricia Skilken, a longtime judges' favorite. - Very consistent. - Lookin' good. In contrast, Haley, raw power, huge start values, but she is not known for her consistency. And, Elfi, when ya get right down to it, in gymnastics, consistency over flash is what rules the day. Go ahead, scratch. You're all zeroes anyway. Tricia, this is not about winning. I'm not here to screw you over. Oh. Too late. Fine. Then I'll scratch if you want the moment. But this? This is much bigger than you and me. Well, like we said, they were warming up their tumbling, but we've seen four athletes scratch so who knows what Haley's gonna decide to do? If she's gonna do the whole thing, if she's gonna do nothin'. - Come on! - I don't have a clue. - You got it! - Go, Haley! There are things you wish for before big moments. I wish my friends were here. God. I wish my parents were different. I wish there was someone who got what was happening, and could just look at me and tell me we weren't crazy. That we weren't being stupid. Someone to say, "I'm proud of you. And I got your back. No matter what." Haley, Haley. What's wrong? Nothing. Listen... I, uh... I just want you to know... What? That, uh... - I'm so... - Don't. No, no, no, no, no. I'm so... ...proud to be your coach. Now, don't you dare hold back. And floor it. Mm-hm? Let's go, Haley! Come on! Come on, Haley. Let it rip! - Come on! - You can do it! Come on, Haley! Come on, Haley! Come on. Let's see it! Go, Haley! Yeah, Haley! Yeah, Haley! Selfish. What? Whoo! As we got our totally fake first-place medals, I realized gymnastics wasn't there to judge me or dis me. Only I could do that. I couldn't look back and think it was about the judges or the parents or the coaches at all. It was about us. And for us. Haley! And that felt totally first-place real to me. I'm glad it did. I think it's important that we controlled the results for once. and give the judges... Oh, excuse me. Hey, what's up? Yeah, just one second. She's right here. And, technically, I was the second to scratch, but I got the ball rolling... Oh, I'm sorry. Just one second. This is for you. Poot? I wanted a pink corsage, but white will work. You'll never guess what I did today. Carly! One second, guys. Would y'all sign my program? - Wha...?! - Oh, my gosh... ...yes! So amazing. Haley. Haley. - I need to talk to you. - OK. I got some really bad news to tell ya. What? How much do ya hate college gymnastics? Hmm? I decided not to hate things I've never tried. All these schools want me? - Well, where should I go? - Eh, you'll figure it out. Maybe I should just tell 'em to stick it. Oh, yeah, like you know how to stick it. - Uh, my feet were glued. - Yeah, to a high-speed bus. You're the one that told me to floor it. Yeah, you floored it all right. Huh? You did it, kid. [ Missy Elliott: We Run This |
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