1
Do you even know how we're gonna get back?
No
You remember?
No.
That's what I'm saying - none of us remember!
You know...
That's exactly what he's been doing!
Boom - yes!
I got it - I know he'd do it.
I don't know she could be dead for all
we know it's just -
Hey, hey, all right
everything's okay.
My name
is Matt, this is Grant and Austin.
Here's the situation,
last night, you stumbled
into our campsite, not saying anything
and not wearing anything.
We just covered
you up right there by the fire where you
fell and we've just been waiting for you
to come to
Are you hurt?
What's your name?
Valorie.
Sorry what was
that?
It's okay I- I'm sorry I just didn't hear you.
What is it?
Valorie
Okay, Valorie,
we're just letting you know what we know
Right. We're just trying to help you we
want to make sure that you're okay.
What were you doing out here last night?
Look, this is a weird situation for -
I don't know.
That's okay. That's fine.
Um.
No. No it's not fine.
Where am I?
We're on the south side of
Roan Mountain.
What?
It's in Mitchell County -
No, I know where that is
but doesn't make any fucking sense. I -
I wasn't -
I wasn't coming here.
I was-
We weren't there long -
Where did you go?
I don't remember leaving.
What do you remember then?
Nothing probably. Dude this just sounds like she got drunk with her friends and then
now they're just pulling some prank -
Fuck you! Okay- I don't do that!
Okay I'm just
saying that you might have had too much.
I mean it happens -
You don't know me!
I wouldn't have blacked out!
Okay but you
you keep saying you don't remember well
I mean I'm sorry but that's what too
much alcohol does to you, you black out
So why did I end up in the fucking woods? I don't know!
That's what we're trying to figure out Valerie! Dude!
Dude!
Look, this is very confusing for all of
us, okay, but we're gonna be able to
figure things out a lot faster if we all
just just stay calm.
Right.
I'm sorry.
Some guy came up to me at the bar
started talking to me.
All right. Did you know him?
I need to go home.
Yeah I mean that's
that's what we were talking about before
you woke up but we weren't sure if we
should call the police -
No don't call the police.
Okay, okay I mean I was gonna say or
like a park ranger or something maybe I
mean someone that could get you off this
mountain - No I don't want anyone else
involved this is too much I -
You want to go home I'm sorry you can't just
click your heels and -
Look, that's the only way.
Look, I'm gonna go up to the fork in the
path I got service up there I'm gonna
call a park ranger
come back here we'll walk you to the service road
and- and he'll get you home.
Hey,
we're gonna take care of you.
I'll come back as soon as I
can guys
Here, I'm sure you could use some of this.
Thank you.
I'm sure you're hungry too so
there you go.
Well, uh, I guess I'm gonna go get some
firewood
Austin are you cool to chill here?
Yeah, I'm ok.
Cool.
Do you want some clothes?
That's probably a rhetorical question huh? D'uh Austin.
You could probably wear some of mine-
kind of a small guy
These shouldn't be too big on you.
Thank you.
Do you wanna - Should I just -
I'll just, uh, I'll be over here -
facing that way.
Why are you laughing?
I'm sorry I'm just uh this whole
situation is it's bizarre-
kind of caught me, us, by surprise I guess.
Trust me I know.
I'm sorry for getting upset earlier
I, uh,
I wanted to help you. I did, but, you were
so distant.
it was like you were mortified but you didn't know why
and when I couldn't help,
made me feel the same way.
Everything alright in there?
You okay?
Yeah-
I'm fine.
I know it's selfish and I just couldn't
be in that state of mind
I've been there before in that darkness
where do you go
when your consciousness fails you you
know what I'm saying? It, it's like you're
unknowingly waiting and waiting for
uncertainty.
That's the weirdest part
you don't even know what you're waiting
for or that you're even waiting at all.
Makes everything so visceral
It's frightening.
That's, uh, that's why I don't drink anymore.
okay I'm uh I'm gonna stand up now
surely you're -
Valorie?
Okay so this should be
enough for now but I can go back and get more later.
Where's the girl?
She's out there.
Why the fuck is she out there?
What did you do? Oh I didn't do shit!
I gave her some of my clothes.
You acted like a pervy dick didn't you? No! Dude, this girl cannot handle that!
No, I, I was just casually talking to her and trying to relate and shit that usually works
I didn't know she was gonna run away!
Jesus Christ, well, we have to get her!
She cannot be out there alone-
she could get lost or worse.
Okay let's go
Let's? As in 'let us'?
No!
We didn't lose her or let her go
Dude, shut the fuck up and
come and help me find her before
something happens.
I can't have that on my conscience.
Valorie!
Fuck.
Valorie.
Hey, hey it's okay
It's okay, Valorie it's okay! It's us Grant and Austin.
Valorie, I really don't feel that you should-
I was raped.
I can feel, I can feel everything this is real it's not going away
Please don't!
Right, I'm so sorry.
That's okay Grant.
Get me out of here.
I want to go now.
We'll get you out of here I mean as long
as you don't take for the hills again.
What did you think you were gonna do
conquer the mountain? Okay I was scared I wasn't thinking. I just kept thinking he was out there
even when I kept running I just couldn't get away from that thought.
Well he'd better not be, if he knows what's
best for him!
And that's the truth.
Look we are going to make sure that
you're safe as long as you stay with us. Ok?
Matthews probably been waiting on us
we're running out of time and we still have
to get our bags and get you to the
service road
Why can't we go now?
Well your little stunt didn't actually leave
us enough time to leave a note.
Look don't worry.
We'll get help soon enough.
You okay?
You know, for someone who has been in your situation
you're really speeding through these
woods. I mean don't get me wrong I
understand but I'm a smoker.
That's inappropriate, my fault.
Hey, is everything okay?
He didn't mean what he said- No, its...
it's just, how did I let myself get here
Oh Oh easy there
Fuck!
Let's uh, take a look.
Valorie this really doesn't look very
good-
No, none of this looks good it's
actually pretty fucked up.
May I?
What the fuck are you gonna do? Make it better?
I need to see how much flexibility you have, if it's a severe sprain or worse you really need to take it easy.
Take it easy? I need to take it
easy? Would that be easier for you two?
If I took it easy?
I'm fine.
Let's go.
Fuck, oh!
Fuck him, fuck this place, I wish he would have killed me instead of
leaving me here like some goddamn
helpless whore!
Valorie look, I promise everything will be okay soon enough
Okay!?
Okay?
None of this is okay.
Everything that I had, everything that I have become is left here in these stupid woods!
We're gonna get you home
Yeah?
Then what?
You two get to rest assured knowing you helped out some poor stranded girl but me, I get to be exactly
what I tried so hard not to be.
A victim.
Valorie, none of this is your fault.
I don't need your sympathy, I don't need your help
Easy.
Hey what's that?
It's a campsite.
I didn't think people could camp on this
side of the mountain.
Well, you're not supposed to.
Guys let me go, I'm fine.
What is this?
These are my clothes?
Well this fire is still pretty fresh so
I'm guessing he could be back at any moment.
Austin I really think that we
should-
Hey what are those?
I really don't think you should see these And you fucking should?
Poor girl.
Fuck you.
I'm not your trophy.
look I don't mean to rush you, but we
probably should- Yeah...
We should get out of here.
Yeah that's right, this maniac,
he's probably out here still.
So is Matthew.
Shit! Matty? Matty? Oh there you are.
You.
Yes, me. I had thought you wouldn't remember me.
I thought you moved on one of these, boys. But
since I can't be forgotten...
You piece of shit, Grant-
No no no please please please let's not do that.
I understand that you're agitated
and I sympathize I do but I'd like to
keep things more orderly less graphic. So...
right to the point at hand
I have something, someone, that you want
and you have something of mine I want.
Fuck you dude, she doesn't belong to you!
Yes, yes she does. Yes she does.
Now I understand the two of you're
acting out some instinct to protect the
female from the situation but what I
think you're failing to realize is this,
I will slice your friends fucking throat
and I will watch the blood pour out.
And I will repeat that process two more
times. So please, try to think rationally.
Grant what do we do?
I don't know man!
No!
No, no you can't!
He raped me and left me to die!
Rape is such a harsh word.
Hey let's let's just forget about all this.
No, no, no no no no no no!
Shut up!
That is not how this works!
I am happy to let you all go but she is
not leaving with you.
Whatever fuck it, I'm tired of dealing with
your people, you should have picked a better campsite!
Wait!
Okay okay!
Good, good good good.
I was starting to think the two of you
were really fucking stupid.
No!
I'm sorry! No he's gonna kill me!
I'm sorry I don't know what else to do
Austin, Austin, you won't, you won't, you can't do this.
He's our friend! We have no choice!
You said you were gonna protect me, you can't do this, no, no!
Well, there she goes!
Don't worry, she won't get away.
Oh... where are you going beautiful?
Oh I see, that way?
What a shame,
you almost made it.
Isn't this better? I think so.
Happy couple together again.
[heartbeat thumping
I don't think either of us is in the
mood for another chase.
I gotta say I'm surprised by such desperation to get
away, I mean,
was I really that bad?
I thought you and I had quite the connection before.
There is something about you that
excites me my dear
No.
How did a guy like me, end up with such a pretty girl?
Oh!
that reminds me
Okay,
where are they?
What do you mean?
Don't.
Don't do that
I'm not angry.
In, in fact I'm glad, I'm glad
you saw them.
I mean, what did you think?
Quite breathtaking right?
What are you doing?
We are leaving. Wha-
Why?
Stop taking me for a fucking fool!
I know you saw the pictures, I know you
were here
and, and I assume those two fuckwits were
with you
and now they're out there
coming up with some half-assed save the
princess scenario so our time in the
woods is over.
Oh, fucking bitch!
God!
Ow!
There,
that's better behavior.
Thank-you.
You're right.
I'll learn.
But maybe you can teach me
I like the idea of you taking control of
me
What?
You don't think I remember that
night?
The way you charmed your way get me out of the
bar into the car all the way out here I
I wasn't as drugged as you thought I was.
I was just weak to your powerful constrains.
The control it was
surreal.
It was
sensational.
I want you to do it to me again
right
now.
Really?
If that's what you want.
That's what you're gonna get!
We're gonna get you out.
Come on!
Okay I'm sorry do you mind if we go over
this one more time Valorie?
Yes, I do mind.
Okay, I have told you everything you need to
know I told you at the station I told
you on the phone and now I find myself
hours later telling you here look I
Look I understand it's a very
sensitive situation for you to be in.
I'm just trying to make sense of the things that I've been told.
Could you do it someplace else?
Unfortunately no.
Look
this is far too coincidental you have to know there
have been other women in this area
recently who have come forward with a
very very similar narrative to what
you've told me okay so you say these
three guys, uh,
Grant, Austin, Matthew right?
Yes.
Okay they find you in the woods
after the incident
they give you clothes
they give you food they give you water
they escort you to the hospital and then
they just leave you they just drop you off?
No, no not exactly-
I have a nurse that
says that you were alone-
Yes I was alone but
I was alive and it's because of those
three.
I'm sorry,
just trying to cover all bases
Well don't worry about that okay?
I'm the victim
I say when it's over.
No more investigation, no
more questions especially about those three.
I'm able to have a life again because of them.
...just go
with your your usual dark-haired
chestnut-eyed looking girls Well I don't see any of them either,
it's a little slim pickings out today Well you're the one who wanted to come to the park.
Well nice girls are at the park.
Oh what about her?
No, she's, she's, well she's blonde and I
don't like blondes they're annoying.
Yeah they're too mouthy. Mouthy me likey...
Well, what you likey does not matter because it's not your fucking turn anymore!
Then fucking pick
someone or we'll pick for you.
No no no,
that's not how the game works
Dick!
You got to pick yours I got to take
mine,
let him pick his.
Oh!
I got it.
Who is it?
Her.
This one's gonna be fun!
I'm giving you to the count of three to
give me a sign, or I'm g oing back there
and snatching your ghostly ass out of
that Void myself!
Did you just see that?
That was an orb that just went
cross me!
you know the ghost man and
I'm diving right in!
People call me, Ghost Man!
I used to be scared of the dark but now
I fight the dark!
One man, one ghost!
Cause this is just between me and you,
this is between the ghost and the ghost
man
I am the Ghost Man - Hello?
What's up puddin' cup?
Don't call me that.
Whoa whoa whoa, did I just catch somebody
admiring her big bro on basic cable
Public access. Ahh, admit it, that's
without a doubt the best showmanship
you've ever seen in your life! It's
three in the morning.
Right,
I need you to shoot for me tomorrow,
well, later on today around noon.
I can't I'm filling out job applications
all day-
We're talking season finale here!
The only way we make millions down
the line is if we make the greatest
piece of paranormal television in
history!
Grant Wilson, Jason Hawes, Zack Bagans, Jackie Washington, and
the Ghost Man!
Okay fine but after
this I have to find a real job- after
this you won't have to!
Dex-
Call me ghost man.
I am never calling you ghost man
I'll see you tomorrow.
Today, later today,
Ghost Man out
Get up grandma,
we got to get goin'!
How, how did you get in?
Had keys made just in case. Here put that on.
I know you're welcome.
Look,
we have to get going, I mean I'm jacked, clacked and ready to rat-a-tat-tat-
What's up?
What?
I know that look, that is the same look I give myself
every single morning when I look into the mirror.
That's the look of someone
who's been seeing things
What?
You know,
things.
Have you been seeing them?
No.
But you
would tell me if you have right?
No!
Because that would be the greatest show
ever!
No! Listen, Dex, leaky pipes and mice in
the ceiling are actually leaky pipes and mice!
You wouldn't even be interested,
I promise.
But-
you would tell me if you have right?
Let's go.
Three years ago in this location a giant
sinkhole 300-
again one more time one more time.
April 25th 2012 a day that
will live in infamy
a ginormous sinkole 400 feet deep opened
up and swallowed six young children into a
deep abyss never to be seen again.
Now the locals call this a portal to
Hell and all I know is I'm diving right
in
and today we're with the property
manager Mr. Peter Barrett. Mr. Barrett
welcome...
to man vs. ghost!
Thank you.
You're welcome Peter. Now we have spoken
to a lot of the local residents who
claim they have seen ghostly childlike
apparitions in this very hallway.
Yeah, it's been a while since I've heard
anything
you know last folks had called me out
here claims that they saw some movement
right over here in these windows.
You know kind of kind of low down,
ya know, just creeping along, you know, kind of
like they was kids
But...
just ended up being this
cute little tabby cat
and, uh,
that's when we met.
Brought her in, named her Deb, she sleeps with me
every night now
Just let us in.
You got it partner.
Tonight's the night ladies and gentlemen
where I enter the most haunted most
dangerous location ever investigated in
the history of Man vs. Ghost.
This is where I leave my production crew behind
this is where I go one-on-one. This...
is where it becomes Man vs. Ghost.
Have a good time.
Cut! Cut, cut - What the hell was that?
What?
What?
Nothing, just never mind we've got
it from here
Okay, good luck on your ghost adventure.
Thanks
Little help?
Well I'm here all night,
but Jackie do me
a favor. This time, please have the
Ghost Van back promptly at 7:00,
I do need a ride.
Do I have to keep the magnet on?
Why would you even ask me that?
Wait.
If you actually are seeing something
which I don't believe you are,
but if you are,
take this, and try to capture it on video
I mean it would help to show out a lot.
Ghosts don't exist.
But if they do exist it
makes sense that they would follow the
sister of the greatest ghost hunter alive!
See ya.
Well be safe
It is 3:00 in the morning-
You sound stressed, you didn't just have a paranormal
experience did you?
What is it?
Cause you should tell me if you did-
What is it?
The school's a bust, not even a damn
stray cat I mean the ghost man can
stretch a show but even I've got my
limits.
So?
I made some moves and I've
scored the interview of a lifetime,
are you ready for this?
Dr. Joseph Webb!
Wow the Dr. Webb...
Now I know you don't
keep up with the world of paranormal
science but this is Season Finale
material here!
I need you on this one sis.
Okay fine I'll help, you but if I
keep helping you,
I'm the one that's gonna end up needing help.
I'll take it
but here's the thing,
the only time Dr. Webb can fit me in his
schedule is 7:00 a.m. and it's a
three-hour drive so can you come pick me
up right about now?
Fine I I can't sleep anyways-
Wait...
are you having a paranormal experience right now?
Bye Dex.
Wait wait!
Wake up!
Dex!
Call me Ghost Man.
I'm not calling you Ghost Man!
Fine, just tell me what's going on.
I just haven't been getting much sleep is all
And...
And?
And...
Fine, okay fine...
Do you think that they follow us home?
Look,
they don't follow me they don't follow you.
Reality of the situation is we just got one more
episode to finish after we finish that
episode then we finish the entire season
then we take that finished season sell
it to the Travel Channel and then with
all that money you can buy five
bodyguards to watch you freaking sleep
at night.
Do you even know who lived in
your apartment before you?
No-
it could be the damn Zodiac killer for all we know.
Is he even dead yet?
When the Ghost Man goes out he needs to
know everything there is to know about
the paranormal sciences so I go out and
find the best I find the smartest I find
sometimes the craziest but the point is
I find the best so tonight to take this
journey into that dark void with me is
the man whose radical new theory
The Ripple Effect is taking the paranormal
world by storm.
Dr. Joseph Webb.
Doctor,
Thank you,
and welcome to Man vs. Ghost.
Doctor, uh,
Dr. Webb will you explain your radical new theory.
Dr. Webb I mean-
Well, well, uh,
people have energy or rather energy has people.
Every person in this universe has
a specific set of energy that suggests a
lot about their personality or past
and possibly their future.
Your energy for example is...
very...
purple.
Intriguing.
Well,
I'm not surprised about that because...
most of the apparitions
I've encountered over the years
think I'm some sort of royalty.
Of course...um...
well anyway when a person loses a part of
themselves to some sort of trauma they
lose part of their energy as well
Imprinting!
Yeah! Yes you you are so
very
purple.
Yes
um, imprinting! Well for your viewers out
there imprinting is what many refer to
as the root cause to what the layman
would refer to as a haunting.
According to my ripple effect theory when a person
imprints on their surroundings it not
only affects the future but also...
the
past.
So you're saying that a haunting
can actually take place before the
actual event that caused a haunting
Precisely.
If I throw a pebble in a
stream
does it not ripple backwards as well as
forwards?
So if I'm hearing you correctly
you're saying that I could meet my
future self in some sort of this ghost echo?
Yes...
but beware if you do,
because it means something terrible is going to happen.
Something you, you, you can't
possibly avoid because it's already
happened in the future,
and you're merely observing an echo.
That,
is awesome!
I mean take a second think about it Ghost
Man versus Ghost Man!
Battle of the century!
And according to Dr. Webb that is actually possible!
Thank you Doctor Webb,
have you been
absolutely brilliant!
Thank you Dr. Webb.
You.
You don't believe me, I could tell
you don't.
What, what if everything I said is true,
what, what if
everything I've said today is true, and you just ignore it?
What if you could save a human life
because of my theory but no you just
don't want to think about it I want you
to think about it I want you to believe!
What was that about?
Nothing just let's get going
Grab the gear!
Let's let the doctor get some rest
sis come on.
Come on!
I'm going to Sensabaugh Tunnel tomorrow for the final investigation-
Hey!
What!
I said I'm going to the Sensabaugh Tunnel tomorrow
for the final investigation now are you
gonna shoot the intro?
He was looking at
me- He wasn't looking at you I told him
to say that at the end just to freak the
audience out.
Really?
Tomorrow?
Can't sleep anyways-
Yesssss!
You...
what what if everything I said is
true what what if everything I've said
today is true you just ignore it.
What if you could save a human life
because of my theory but no you just
don't want to think about I want you to
think about it I want you to believe
Wake up!
whoa whoa it's me sis your big
bro
I must have passed out.
Look,
I did some digging
no violent crimes whatsoever
have been committed near or even around
your building
Wait, what?
That's right you're a big bro
did some checking in just for you
No, you did this because you wanted to do a show
If you would just tell me what's going
on I will leave you alone.
Okay fine but
no show and don't poke!
I think...
there's something in my apartment
I knew it!
Details!
Uhh, well,
I've been, I dunno, I've been having these dreams lately a few nights ago I had one that was so intense
that I woke up and there was someone
standing in my door frame
Whoa whoa whoa
you saw a full-blown apparition?
Well no I mean it's night terrors it's a
common thing to see but the blood-
Spontaneous ectoplasmic generation?
We got to do a show on this!
Are you kidding
me-
Look you need to sleep I need a show
all we have to do is switch apartments
for one night that's it!
No.
Fine.
You can still stay at my apartment tonight
if you want to I mean I'll be up all
night at the tunnel doing the last
episode.
I'll drop you off on the way
Your place?
Well if you're going to apply
for a real job tomorrow you need your rest.
But what about the show?
I'll just set up a tripod don't you worry about it
I'll drop you off on the way
Okay, thanks Dex.
Call me Ghost Man.
Put some damn clothes on I'll see you in the car.
Here we are -
che' Ghost Man.
Wait!
This is a rough part of town,
so if anything hectic happens
there's some personal protection in the
top drawer. Not the bottom drawer!
The top
drawer next to the bed,
Okay?
Buh-bye.
I want to apologize to my sister Jackie
Washington but Jackie this is for your own good!
- you don't believe me, I can tell you don't! I
want you to think about it-
I need, I need a cab.
1426 Love Station Road.
No, now! Right now!
There it is again!
For you at home you know me by now and
this is what I, no, we have been waiting for!
Class 1 spontaneous ectoplasmic
generation!
What the hell are you doing?
You're
walking around with a loaded freaking gun
waiting for anything that moves you
can shoot it down and for what?
A stupid ghost show?
I can't take this anymore
Look, Dex I'm out okay I I don't need
this stress in my life okay I can't
sleep I can't eat and you might be able
to handle it but not me
okay I honestly don't care what you do
with the show I don't want any part of
it I can't take it anymore
and I can't take you.
That all I wanna do was to help. I just wanted to help and then all this happen I
wanted to do is just help my brother I
just wanted to help him and this is the
thanks I get!
I told ya I hope you at the TV show
that's fine that's not a big deal I
didn't think it would be all of this!
I wanted to help, I tried everything I could I
put up with him
No not this again!
Leave me alone I just
wanted to help my brother
What are you?
Leave me alone!
STOP!
Stop stop please!
Just leave me alone!
Why are you doing this?
Just go away!
This show was the only thing that he had done...
I haven't done a single thing to you!
This is it!
My own sister,
and camera operator Jackie Washington
has lost her mind.
But when I show them this,
they'll see that she's telling the truth
Jackie,
you will be okay.
Well,
go ahead
bleed
Police, open up!
Is everyone okay? Open up I'm
gonna come in!
It's real...
One last warning!
It's real...
Ommphf!
Hey!
Excuse me,
hello I'm locked in.
where ever...where ever I am.
Hey, uh, hey man.
Uh, hey sir,
I'm very confused I'm sorry I'm not sure
where I am.
Um.
Can you help me?
Or...
are you okay?
AHHHH!!!
Open the door!
Someone help me!
No one's gonna help.
Well didn't you open the door.
I can't open it I didn't put us here in the first place.
Look, just,
tell me your name.
I'm Jessica.
okay Jessica I'm Elliot
Elliot O'Neill
Okay Elliot
why are we locked in this room?
I don't know really
exactly
Hey do you know what day it is?
There has to be a way out of here-
There's not okay I've tried.
How long have you been here?
I don't know really.
What is this place?
I mean we've obviously been kidnapped or
something.
Where are we?
What the fuck is going on!?
I don't like just sitting here,
feels like I'm waiting for something bad to happen to me.
Can you talk to me?
About what?
I don't know, anything.
I don't like uncomfortable silences when I'm not locked in a fucking dungeon so...
I don't know...
talk about something.
I...uh...was never very good small talk.
Great, I'm trapped in a room with a boring guy.
Okay Chatty Cathy, umm,
what do you do like for a job or whatever.
Uh, I'm an Account Manager
for a cell phone company.
Wow.
Okay well that sounds shitty.
Yeah...
it is, actually.
How long you been doing that?
Um, I don't know, like three years.
That's two years longer than I've ever held any jobs.
Why stay if you don't like it?
I don't know I
mean it's what you do, right?
I mean sometimes I think I do it just to
be around people
I don't, uh,
exactly get out
as much
anymore...
I mean
I used to. I used to have friends that went places.
but somewhere along the line I just kind of...
stopped.
Why?
I don't know I just
sort
of stopped
having anything to talk about.
I mean everything was fine
pretty much,
technically.
I just
didn't really have anything else to say.
you know friends or
coworkers,
family.
I don't know when that happened.
I don't
know when
I stopped knowing how to be around people.
Like I stopped being me.
I just
kind of
gave
up.
I just kinda let myself get lost in the shuffle.
Well that's your thing isn't it?
I mean it's fucking obvious.
What's obvious?
You just gave up again,
right now.
I mean listen to yourself you pussy you
just gave that entire 'woe is me' speech
in past tense
like like that's it that's my life.
Well you know what Elliot?
Sounds
like a shitty life and I'm sorry but it's not mine.
I have lots of friends
and
I love my life and I love my family.
I'm sorry but I'm not just gonna sit here
feel sorry for myself.
Jeez, why are you getting so angry?
I'm sorry if I get
pissed
listening to your self-defeating
bullshit!
I'm not dead yet so I'm sorry
if I don't join your little pity party.
I
want to survive this
and I want to get
the fuck out of here! You can't get out!
What part of that do not get?
Hey we're not doing that! I'm not doing
this all right? What is the fucking for?
Elliot what is the fucking knife for?
They...
they want us to kill each other.
What do you mean?
It doesn't matter cause I'm not doing it!
Let us out!
Hey! How do you fucking know that!
I just do, alright?
Come on, open up please!
I'm not... I don't want to
do this!
I'm sorry Elliot.
What?
Please, stop!
Please!
Please, you don't have to do this.
Oh I don't want to.
but I think I have to. No!
No, no!
AHHH!!
AHHHH!
AHHH-
I want to thank you.
First,
I don't know
why you attacked me
I didn't think
people would sacrifice others like that,
not really.
But I get it now.
You didn't attack me
because you wanted
to kill me
but because you wanted to live.
I can't blame you.
For a long time
I
live my life
on social media.
Looking at
pictures of mountains but
never climbing
any.
The truth is
I put myself in this room.
long before anyone else did.
I refused to do that now
I am going to survive
I want to live.
I want to see those mountains up close I
want to have conversations with people
that don't involve likes replies or
comments passed off as insight
I want
to live.
And I know whoever comes through that
door is gonna want to to take it all away from me.
I will be a wave breaking against rocks
on the seashore
I will move through them
AHHH!
And no matter what
I will earn my life.
Is he...
talking to himself?
Wait what?
Is he talking to himself, the gingery guy?
Oh yeah.
Does he do that a lot?
Yeah I mean
wouldn't you?
Do you ever like
feel bad for these people?
Yeah,
sometimes.
Sometimes...
I feel like I'm an instrument
in the perpetuation of inhumane cruelty
passed off as entertainment and sport.
But then I just go get my paycheck on
Friday
go get shithouse moused at Hooters
By Sunday I forget all about these me these mother fuckers.
AHHH!
Get my out of here!
Now, I'm done!
I'm done! Get me out of here!
What the hell is going on! Get me out of here!
You have had a hell of a day.
No no,
don't get up.
I gotta tell you,
you actually made it a lot farther than I would have
thought.
Ahh.
Allow me.
AHHHHH!
Yep.
You are a spicy little spit fuck.
Unfortunately,
all good things
must come to an end.
Nothing personal.
Now smile for the camera.
AHHH!
Holy shit!
That was awesome!
I mean you
just
fuck
you're just obliterated that big bastard.
I mean I wished it would
have taken a little bit longer but shit.
Oh
come on man
stand up.
No? I mean
you're the champ it's a big day.
What?
Oh I'm sorry
introductions introductions I'm
Franklin Nero, owner and CEO of
Deathmatch Worldwide and i'm just so proud-
Proud to-
Would someone please shut the fucking Mongoloid up!
Thank you.
I...what's going on?
Well that's
what I've been trying to tell you see
these past couple of fights they've been
a part of our first ever tournament and
you, you fucking won, man and honestly I
gotta say I didn't expect it to be one
of our own homegrown talents I mean yeah
guys coming in from from all over for
this thing and you fucking won man!
Fucking King of the Deathmatch!
Elliot 'Nails' O'Neill, do you like that that's
what we've been calling you online
Listen man you've been instrumental, just
fuckin' instrumental in all of our
success and all of my success I mean
we've got more fuckin subscribers than
YouTube I mean some people get on there
just so they can rant about how horrible
it all is but most people fuckin love it
and they fucking love you,
man, like you're you're famous now at
Rocky Balboa like fucking the Italian
stallion famous.
So that's why I
want to
offer you
a job.
What?
Yeah man a job see we're getting
our own Network next month it's a whole
big thing doesn't matter and I want you
on our flagship show as my co-anchor
Go fuck yourself.
You kidnapped me
you trapped me in here
and
now you want me to be on your little show?
Yes
fuck yes
fuck yes I do.
How dare you
how fucking dare you!
I give you the opportunity of a fucking lifetime and
you spit my fucking face
Oh for what for some fucking moral high
ground
you'd rather be taken out back behind a
fucking shed and shot?
Oh what you gonna do Elliot huh? you get
mad you gonna lunge at me you gonna kill
me with your bare hands and prove how
much of a big strong man you are and
then what huh you gonna go back to the
shitty little life that you had before
working some fucking temp job living in
your parents goddamn basement?
I offered you Millions and you have the fucking
audacity to look down at me through your
fucking broken nose?
no no no no no do
you know me people would fucking kill to
be where you are right now to have the
opportunity that I have fucking given
you, you self-righteous little fuck!
Do you know how many fucking starving and homeless
people I could get in here that wouldn't
even better fucking eyelash?
Listen
Elliot everybody in this world gets
fucked by somebody else
I mean privileged people are the only
ones that have ever been Noble.
That leaves the rest of us to claw and
scratch and fucking bleed for anything
that we can get our fucking hands on.
So go ahead Elliot you sit and your
fucking ivory tower and pretend that
there's good guys in the world and that
you're fucking one of them.
That just means that they haven't decided to come
and fucking take it from you yet
Did you eve consider, Elliot, why no one ever
came to shut me down?
I mean it's better to have all eyes on this than looking
around at the world asking so many
questions about why it's so fucked up!
You know
they say the the object of war
is peace.
They don't ever talk about is how the real objective of war
is to
make money.
Look, Elliot I have made
my money off of your wars.
Don't you think
it's time you've got your peace?
Welcome back Deathmatch fans I'm Frankie
Nero joined as always by former
deathmatch champion Elliott 'Nails' O'Neil
Thanks Frank
As promised we have a huge show lined up
for you guys this week first we're gonna
be discussing our next big matchup
between 'The Bull' Dalton Memes and
"Strangler" Tyler Lynch. Champ, what kind of
a chance do you think that Lynch has
against a competitor the sheer size of
'The Bull'?
Hey!
'Scuse me! Hello!
I want to survive this...and I want to get the FUCK out of here!
You can't get out! They want us to kill eachother....
King of the Deathmatch!
Elliot 'Nails' O'Neil!
Hey Champ!
Oh, um, sorry,
right, 'The Bull' definitely has the size
and reach advantage in this fight but
you can never count out a guy like Lynch.
That's absolutely right you never can
count out the little guy I mean who
could forget when my co-host here
toppled 'The Mountain" Mulligan to become
the first-ever deathmatch champion.
Right.
All right well all that and more after
the break coming up including highlights
from last week's fight and this week's
fighter profile. So make sure to keep it
locked in to the death match worldwide
online network.
And we're clear. Clear people.
Where did you go on me
there man?
I'm sorry I'm sorry everybody
I am I
I just I spaced out for a minute I'm sorry.
Okay look, it's, it's fine okay just in
the what you fuck off it's fine.
Just, just take all the time you need man okay
look you're the champ all right?
Yeah, okay.
I need you here.
Okay?
And we're back in 2 people.
Fuck you, we're back in 2, we're
back when I fucking say we're back. No do
you see? I paid for all this mother fucker. What is your fuckin' name?
Umm, Ashley.
Umm, Ashley? Hans, take Ashley out back and fucking shoot
him in the head.
You, you, what's your fucking name?
Megan.
Megan, no your new name is Ashley
congratulations on your promotion. Ahh shit! Somebody in the fucking control
room just run another lap of commercials.
God damnit!
Okay guys we're gonna run
another round of breaks. Wait the same
thing? What do you want to be the next Ashley?
Look man just one season that's
all I need out of you it's just one
season and then I can get another
champion right in the seat next to me
and you can go climb your mountains and
go to China or whatever other shit that
you want to do.
Okay?
Okay Frank.
You gotta
have money to do that shit right?
Right.
Okay, look, hey, I need you here man.
Okay?
Okay.
The truth is
I put myself in this room
long before anyone else did.
We're back in 5....4...3....