Yeah!
Um, can I call you Ticona?
Is it all right if I call you
by your first name?
No.
Okay.
I came here
because I need a job.
So if you could just type
my info into your computer,
help a brother out
find me a job.
Something in upper management
Would be great.
I'll take anything.
I am literally on the verge
of having to move back in
with my parents,
and I don't want to do that.
Raymond, I got nothing for you.
Moving back in with your parents
right now
doesn't sound
like such a bad idea.
It does. It really does
sound like a bad idea to me.
I don't know how to say this
without sounding terrible,
but you're the worst
guidance counselor ever.
I-I got to go. I got to go.
Thank you for everything.
Lose the scarf.
Freak.
Yoohoo!
I made you a little something to
keep your strength up, Hector.
- Oh, my goodness.
- Alberto? Cookies?
- Uh, are those gluten-free?
- Uh, no.
All right now here's the rule.
- I just reseeded the lawn.
- Hi.
I planted some new flowers.
You stay away, you understand?
I won't even look at them, dad.
How does that sound?
- All right.
- Does that work?
Look, and I'm sorry
for being so hard on you
on the phone the other day.
Hey, you have a thing
for black women...
she was Latino.
You have a thing for latina
black women, I'm okay with that.
Great.
Your mother and I are
very open-minded.
I've noticed.
Good, huh?
- Evey, Raymond's home!
- Oh! Oh!
I think he's here! He's here!
Oh, he's here!
Thanks for taking care
of my boy.
- I don't know him.
- He's here!
Mom!
My beautiful son.
My beautiful mom.
Oh, honey.
Turn around, let me look at you.
Oh, wait.
Mom, are you serious?
- Stop.
- All right.
- Oh, so handsome.
- So beautiful.
There is away you can help
your mother and me
- while You're here.
- How?
All those years of education
I paid for,
did you ever learn
how to speak any Mexican?
You know, sadly, dad, I don't
know how to speak Mexican,
because nobody in the world
speaks Mexican.
Mexican people speak Spanish.
Mexicans speak Mexican.
People from Spain speak Spanish.
- Come on in, Raymond.
- What are you doing
with that flag around your neck?
Uh, celebrating my freedom.
Good to see you.
Oh, you too. I'm so happy.
Well, you don't wear
the American flag on your neck.
Okay?
- Holy shit!
- Fuck!
You scared the fucking
shit out of me.
What are you doing
in my bathroom, man?
Oh, sorry.
I just uh... noth... I just...
I was just checking out
your picture, man.
Yeah.
It's a little chubby guy.
Remember him?
Yeah, he developed
an eating disorder.
- Oh.
- Thanks for bringing it up.
- Well, you look good.
- Thank you.
I wanted to use
the porta-potty outside...
- Mm-hmm.
- ...But uh, your father
keeps forgetting
the seat covers, you know?
He's an asshole.
- You said it. I didn't.
- I know.
- Yeah? Okay?
- All right.
Have a good one.
All right. You too.
Standing two steps down
I fell into the hole
in the ground
You can make the plan
When the tape's rewound
By the time
you call the boys...
So, Raymond, I'm going
into town tomorrow.
Would you like to join me?
I'm good.
Oh, honey,
of course You're good.
You're my little angel.
But... Your father and I
were wondering
if we could buy you a couple
new outfits for your stay.
Something just
a little less alternative.
Yes.
We really care about you, son,
and we recognize your more
European approach to fashion...
But we just don't think it's
appropriate here in America.
In the U.S. of a.
Well, dad,
I appreciate your concern,
and your criticism of everything
I've ever done in my life,
but I'm gonna have to
politely disagree with you,
based mainly on the fact
that you dress
like a drug dealer.
You hear how he talks to me?
Huh?
That's pretty funny
coming from a guy
who graduated business school
six months ago
and Can't find a goddamn job.
I'm holding out for a position
in upper management.
Oh, bullshit.
I think we're all
just a little tired.
It's been Avery big day.
Well, you guys
take care of the dishes.
I've got the game's gonna start
here in a minute.
Oh, and Raymond...
Take a shower, okay?
You smell bad enough
to gag a maggot.
How do you gag a maggot?
I don't know.
You're looking a little thin,
though, Raymond.
There.
Aaah!
Hector. I'm just an Uncle.
Hello?
Cousin Freddy!
Hey, what are you doing here?
Raymond, thank God.
I thought you were your dad.
Since I came out of the closet
he's forbidden me
to enter the property.
Congratulations.
Maybe you never
have to see him ever again.
Well, he's an Aires, so...
They're all fucking assholes.
Hmm. I didn't know that.
All of them.
I believe it.
I just didn't know it.
So, do you and mom get to see
much of each other anymore?
Occasionally.
You know, whenever she's
in the mood to sneak out
for a night of musical theater,
she calls me.
Sounds nice.
I fucking hate musical theater.
Sorry if I frightened you.
I just... I had to pick up
some belongings.
Ooh.
Your mom let me, um,
store my car here
while I'm going through
a transformational period.
Hey, Would it be cool
if I borrowed your car?
I was actually just about to
go to a bar and get super drunk.
Yeah, be my guest.
Do you want to come with me?
No.
My peace corps application
just came through.
I don't want to jeopardize it.
Drinking makes me, um...
Makes me do things...
That I don't remember.
Okay.
Cool.
Are you okay?
'Cause you seem flustered.
Mm... Uh, not so good.
But um, it's nothing 15 or 20
drinks won't fix, you know?
You Can't drink that much.
You'd die.
Hey.
This ain't no public restroom.
Duly noted.
You are not from around here,
are you?
Born and raised, my brother,
but I have since relocated.
What brings you
to this shit hole?
Well, the, uh... the lovely
clientele, primarily.
And I also read somewhere
that they serve
a scrumptious Cosmopolitan.
And I myself...
holy shit!
I fucking know you.
I used to take the bus
to school with this kid.
He used to be fatter than shit.
You used to be fatter than shit.
What happened?
Well, as you put it
I was fat as shit...
fatter than shit.
Fatter than shit.
Fatter than shit.
Thank you for correcting me.
And then the weirdest thing
happened.
It's like, I moved away
from this town
and all the people
that live within this town,
and then suddenly I had to stop
using eating
as coping mechanism
for depression.
So weird. Thinned out.
Who knew?
Are you still into
that paranormal shit?
Not professionally.
But I do still kind of
practice it as a hobby.
I don't believe that modern
science has all the answers.
Do you guys? Anyone?
I always figured
you just disappeared.
You started a cult or something.
Huh. Thanks.
Guess I've just
never really seen myself
as being that ambitious.
What are you up to? Drugs?
I used to love
kicking the shit
out of this faggot here.
Yeah, that was great.
That was really fun, man.
Yeah, that was really cool.
Oh, but then
you had me expelled.
Did I, though? I don't know.
You know what?
In fact I think this faggot
here deserves an ass kicking.
No, I think you're thinking
of a different faggot.
Um, I... honestly, I think
You're thinking of...
lay off him, pope.
If You're gonna bother
my customers, you have to leave.
Well, I was just leaving
anyway, Becca.
I'll be seeing you around.
Pah-pah, pah-pah, pah.
Pah, pah.
Parents wonder why I ever left.
Drink your beer
and stop being a bitch.
Okay.
You don't remember me, do you?
Um...
No, I don't.
Becca Thompson.
We went to school together.
Guacamole. Becca Thompson.
- You... wow. You...
- Say it.
You lost a lot of weight.
You look really good.
Thanks. Looks like we both
lost a lot of weight.
- Raymond.
- Hmm?
I'm gonna have to ask you
to stop staring at my tits.
You're the only guy to come
through town in a long time
that I'd consider sleeping with,
and You're ruining it.
I was actually admiring
the tips of your hair,
but I will not do that anymore.
I'll look you right in the eyes.
What are you still doing
in town?
Well, most of you assholes left
and I figured if all of us left
nothing around here
Would ever change.
The real question is
what are you doing here?
- Hector, my friend...
- Who's this fucking asshole?
Maybe you should
start thinking about uh,
selling
your construction company
and getting back behind a mower.
Yeah, you really missed
your calling, Donald,
I got to tell you.
Yeah, no, I'm trying
to distance myself
from that stereotype
at the moment.
? Cmo se llama?
What's your name?
Mi nombre es... The other
Mexican that's underpaid.
Will you get the fuck over
there with your compadres?
Dude, Where's
your sense of humor?
Get out of here. I want to talk
to your El bosso here.
You said you were
gonna be finished today.
- I did. But here's...
- My wife was counting on that.
She's on my ass in there.
I get it. Here's the thing.
I've never seen, in my 20 years
of doing this, Donald,
so many equipment malfunctions.
I mean, it's really...
it's fucking weird.
I got to tell you.
The guys think
the property's cursed.
I'm dealing with that.
Well, now, that's
pretty goddamn superstitious
for a Mexican who doesn't
want to fall into a stereotype.
Yeah. It is, isn't it?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Anyways, look, here's what
I might be able to do.
You can help me out here.
I might be able to talk them
into working through the night.
Yeah?
If you can sweeten the pot
a little bit.
Oh, Christ.
How's &2,000 sound?
$3,000 sounds better.
$3,0ooand...
It's a deal.
One more thing.
"Suck my dick."
Terrible, right?
Mm, it's a choice.
These lesbian bikers talked me
into joining their metal band.
"Suck my dick" was our mantra.
Hmm.
Cool mantra. I'd love to catch
a show while I'm in town.
Are you guys playing
any time soon?
We're on a permanent hiatus.
Hmm. You know, I think
I might have something
that'll make you feel better
about the tattoo.
"Trust no one"?
I'm probably not gonna sleep
with you anymore.
I understand.
You just dug yourself
a vagina grave.
I do that a lot.
So, you still believe
in all that paranormal stuff?
Believe in it?
I've experienced it firsthand.
Frank.
Frank.
Come on.
Well, there he is.
Your grandfather.
He was one real son of a bitch.
Right daddy?
Hmm?
Aaahh!
- No shit?
- It's weird.
I used to see ghosts regularly,
and then just suddenly
it stopped.
I feel like,
as I've grown older,
I've unfortunately become less
sensitive to the spirit world.
Sounds like you have
an amazing gift.
Why don't you pursue a career
in the paranormal?
Oh, my dad
threatened to disown me
unless I went
to business school.
You know, I should
actually probably stop.
Alcohol interferes with
my blood-pressure medication.
Drink it.
To parents knowing what's best.
All right We're working
through the night.
What? What do you mean We're
working through the night?
Just keep digging like I said.
I'm trying to avoid
a lawsuit man.
Just keep digging. Please?
You got to be fucking
kidding me.
Well, that's hollow.
Watch out.
- Hold up a sec.
- Hey, hey.
What the fuck?
Who?
It's like a girl or something.
Will you do me a favor?
See if it's...
hey, man, don't touch it.
Don't touch it.
What are you talking about?
Hey, man,
we got to report this.
No, I'm not reporting shit.
What five Mexicans
and a fucking dead kid?
- What?
- Cover that shit up.
- This is not okay.
- Just cover it up.
We Can't just leave
this body here, dude.
Fucking cover it up.
Cover it up.
I know how that story ends.
Fuck that.
We don't have no heads
And steal your legs
Steel-toed boots
Smash war and chains
And I know you ain't secret
Kick in your face
Lighten your load
Nice, and you play
Why say
I won't tell on you
Just like the rest
Why say
You guys suck!
Raymond,
I'm gonna give you a ride home.
Give me the keys.
What's that?
Painkiller.
In case we get into an accident.
Doesn't that strike you
as counter intuitive?
Nope.
Hello?
Go see who's out there.
You go see who's out there.
You're bigger than me.
Jesus Christ.
Donald, man, I know it's you.
Who's there?
I told you guys, it's...
Holy shit!
- Aaah!
- Aaaah!
Where you going?
I'm gonna run!
Get in the truck!
- Let's go.
- Alberto.
Alberto.
Come on, let's go.
Alberto.
Alberto, man,
where are you going?
You shouldn't have opened
that fucking box.
Look, it's... it's fucking
Donald playing tricks.
I told you already.
Mnhmnh. Mnh-mnh.
Mnh-mnh. It's not Donald.
But it's not Donald.
Come on, come on.
I got a job to finish.
Don't take my guys away.
Hey, finish it yourself.
I hate you so much.
Fucking asshole.
Hey, Hector?
What?
Fuck you! I quit!
Venga, pendejo.
Come on.
I see you back there.
Oh!
What are you pulling, man?
Huh?
That was rough.
I think I'm developing
night blindness.
I think it might have been
the pain-killer.
So, uh, you want to...
You want to come in?
I'm on my period.
No, You're not.
You know what?
I'm not.
I just really don't
want to have sex right now.
Neither do I.
Bye.
Well, you'd think with all the
maid services these people run,
they'd know how to clean up
after themselves.
- What's going on?
- What's going on?
Hector and his crew ran off
in the middle of the night
without finishing the job.
That's what's going on.
I'm just shocked that Hector
Would do something like this.
It's not like him.
I second that.
It's not like a Mexican
to run off without getting paid.
Hey, were they still here
when you got home?
Honey? Are you okay?
He's hung over.
Raymond.
Excessively drinking
with your high blood pressure?
Raymond, You're pathetic.
Have I ever told you that?
Mmhmm.
And bless this food.
- Amen.
- Amen.
Amen. You know, dad,
for someone who doesn't
believe in ghosts,
you really do pray a lot.
Hey, mom,
can you pass the syrup?
Oh, sure, honey.
Yes, your mother and I sent you
off to the big city,
and you came back an alcoholic.
I'm not an alcoholic.
Of course,
if I dressed like you,
I might have to have
a few drinks
before I walked
out of the house, too.
Oh, good, so you understand.
You know,
if I had the hair like you,
I'd part it on the other side.
Boys, stop it.
So, I was thinking
that I may organize
a search party for Hector.
Hector's not missing, evey.
He's just a lazy Mexican
piece of shit.
Hey, mom,
can I get a ride to my car?
I left it at the bar last night.
Oh, honey, you really shouldn't
be driving that car on the road.
The tags expired years ago.
Yeah, not to mention the fact
that that car
belonged to your mother's cousin
Freddy, the faggot.
Don't use that word, Donald.
I also need to refill
my prescription.
Mm.
I'll let Dr. carpenter know.
- Thanks.
- Hey, You're not going anywhere
till you clean up that mess
in the backyard.
Are you serious?
Don't I look serious?
Yeah.
It Would be a nice thing
to do, Raymond.
Your father doesn't ask much.
It's so good
to have you home, honey.
It's great to be home.
Cool.
I'll go clean up the yard,
I guess.
I click my heels
and away we go
No day like this
Now at least I'm a warrior
Can't we survive?
You're still in my brain
I wasted all that time
'Cause I stayed up all day
- Hey.
- Aah!
Oh. What's up?
Have you seen Hector?
Uh, yeah. He's inside taking
a catnap and watching cable TV.
No, I haven't seen Hector!
He fucking vanished.
That's why I'm out here
doing this work, man.
Oh. Hey, nice ascot.
Thanks. Aah! Fuck!
Don't fucking talk to me
like that gay man.
- Sorry, man. I just... ow.
- Listen, I don't work for you.
I work for Hector.
Okay, I understand. I'm sorry.
Good. Look, you need to get
out of this place, man.
- I-I know, I hate it here.
- No, seriously, all right?
You got to get
out of this place.
There's some crazy shit
happening here, all right?
Like what?
Like yesterday
while we were digging,
we found a creepy wooden box
over there.
Hector... Hector, he opened it.
It wasn't me.
What was in the box?
It was, like,
a creepy dead girl's,
like, carcass with a nightie.
- Are you fucking kidding me now?
- No! Look...
you found a dead girl
buried in my dad's backyard?
I hate to break it to you,
all right?
There is an evil spirit
lurking on your property,
and I don't want to fucking
be here when it shows up,
so I'm out all right?
Shit that makes sense.
Honestly, all day something's
been feeling a little bit off.
I thought I just had a hangover.
No, dude. Wake the fuck up!
I only came here
to fucking raid your fridge,
get my Fanny pack,
and warn you, that's it.
Thank you, man.
I really appreciate it.
Good luck.
Sit down.
Right here.
Now...
Here we go.
All right. -
Let's do this thing.
Good.
Since when do you make
house calls?
Since they gave me
the opportunity
to charge you more money.
Fair enough.
So, is your dad here?
Um, he actually died today.
Good news.
I'm just kidding. He's at work.
Bad news, 'cause he's a dick.
Your father is a scoundrel.
He is a cheater.
And he owes me a lot of money.
My brother, you are preaching
to the choir on that one.
Um... My thing is, I kind of stay
out of other people's business,
so maybe, if you could just give
me my prescription, we could...
you know what?
You don't need
your prescription anymore.
You're perfectly healthy.
Your condition
has corrected itself.
All right let me, uh...
let me just get this straight
for the record.
So, You're... You're saying that
the blood-pressure condition
I've had for the last 15 years,
and been on medication for, has
just magically corrected itself?
Basically, yes.
If You're trying
to get back at my dad
by killing me, I-I don't think
it's gonna work.
The guy... the guy
really hates me.
Raymond,
I have been your physician
since you were born.
I circumcised you.
There's no sort of game
being played here.
You've simply outgrown
your condition.
Simple as that.
Happens all the time.
I got to get the fuck
out of this town.
Well, at least aerobics class
will help take my mind
off Hector's disappearance.
Oh, come to think of it honey,
your old friend David's mom
will be there tonight.
Mom, what are you talking about?
Well, once a week,
several of us get together
for a group workout.
No, I mean, are -
are you talking
about Dave Richards?
- Mm-hmm.
- I'm not friends with that guy.
He's a total scumbag.
Oh, honey, shush.
His mother says he's working
for the school district now.
I think teaching
is such a noble profession.
Teaching is
a noble profession, mom.
But did his mom
tell you also about how...
and I don't like using
this language in front of you,
but he fingered a girl
who was a sleep
on the back of the bus, and
she didn't even know about it.
Allegedly fingered her.
Ah, what are you doing?!
- Oh, stop.
- Stop! Stop, stop, stop, stop!
- It's that cute little cowlick.
- I know, it's per...
it took like an hour
to get it like this.
Don't touch it. What is this?
We're stopping
at the school first.
Can't have your father
starving now, can we?
God forbid.
I don't care
what your policy is.
He signed a contract.
You have to fucking tip him?
How's the lawn look?
I'm having trouble
taking the exam
with all these distractions.
Pumpkin, if you want to start
taking your exams
in the quiet room with
all the special-ed students,
I'm gonna need to see
a note from your doctor.
Nice pants.
My sister has the same ones.
Hello? Yes.
Will you slow down, please?
I Can't understand
what you're saying.
Well, you tell him to call me
the second he returns,
comprende?
Gracias.
What was that about?
Take a knee.
Hector has been missing
since last night.
Dad, I think something
weird's going on.
One of his workers came by
this morning looking for him.
- Yeah?
- He said they found
some kind of, like, box
buried in the yard.
Do you know anything about this?
What?
Those fucking put as.
Did you tell your mother
about this?
- No.
- Don't.
You know how she gets.
All right get out of here.
Time's up.
Exams on the desk.
- Start where we left off?
- Sure.
Hey, how late
are you working tonight?
- Why?
- My mom and her friends
are getting together at
the house for a group workout
and I was thinking maybe
we could hang out.
Sounds terrible.
Us hanging out or my mom
working out with her friends?
Us hanging out.
Yeah.
I agree.
Guess what... Dave Richards' mom
is gonna be there tonight.
Didn't he finger some girl
on the bus while she was asleep?
Allegedly.
Yeah.
Um... Anyway, I guess he's doing
really good for himself.
So I guess it pays
to finger girls on buses.
Dave Richards used to go
to parties in high school
with a condom on his dick
just in case.
I bet that was
a big hit with the girls.
Only me.
Listen, I've got drum practice
tonight so...
Maybe another time.
Cool.
And I give the bitch
a skosh of chloroform
and all of the sudden,
I'm the bad guy.
What's up, faggot?
Yo. What's up, dudes?
Cool shirts.
Hey, look, I-I'm really
dehydrated right now
and I don't want any trouble.
Seriously?
Well, There's three of us
and only one of you,
and we don't give a fuck
what you want so...
The good news is, I'm gonna be
in town for awhile.
So if you want to take the day
off from threatening me, that...
Carl!
Let him go. Let him go.
Let him go.
He's pretty fucked up.
Raymond, pop the trunk.
Pop the trunk!
I thought you shipped off
to the peace corps.
I'm shipping out tonight.
I had to get my shit.
I'm glad I'm seeing you
'cause...
Ever since I saw you last time,
I've had this really bad feeling
in the pit of my stomach.
- What do you mean?
- I don't know, you just...
you seem really distraught
and confused.
You know, and I just want you
to know...
I've been there.
Cool. Thanks. I... thank you.
You got to take a good, long,
honest look at yourself
in the mirror, you know,
and just...
and just say to yourself,
"I'm okay with this," you know?
Say, "I love myself.
I'm o-I'm okay like this."
- It's about acceptance.
- Okay.
Can I ask you a question?
It gets better.
Um, I really don't know what
You're talking about right now,
but I'm agreeing with you
kind of just to be polite.
I get... 'cause...
'cause You're gay.
N No, I... oh.
No, I'm not. I'm not.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Not gay. Straight.
'Cause you seem so gay.
I take it as a compliment.
Anyway, what is with you?
Why are you so sad?
If I tell you, do you promise
you won't make fun of me?
- I never know.
- You never know.
Well, ever since
I've been back home,
I've been having
these flashbacks
to, like, spirits that
I used to see when I was a kid,
coupled with, like, strange,
supernatural sensations.
- Oh, my g...
- You okay?
You okay?
Just wait a second. Just...
I see things, too.
Don't tell anybody.
Are you serious?
I think You're seeing spirits
that haven't crossed over
to the other side.
No, but I'm not seeing ghosts.
I'm not seeing anything.
I'm just have strange...
that doesn't matter.
From the sound of it
You're going to see them.
They're reaching out to you,
and when they do,
You're gonna have to figure out
what they want.
This sounds like
a major inconvenience.
Oh, you have no idea.
You have no idea.
Ghosts only communicate
when they want something.
And they can visit you
in any form they want.
Aah! I mean, they can be
a man, a woman.
It could be human,
it could be a horrible monster.
Get off the car.
Get off the car.
Get in the car.
Get in the car.
Okay.
Now, this...
This is an evil-eye pendant.
Okay? It's gotten me out
of a lot of hairy situations.
I want you to use it
to protect yourself.
- Okay.
- Here.
Always use protection.
Okay?
Yeah.
Don't just...
put it in your pocket.
Oh, yeah.
Don't lose it.
And lunge.
Lunge. Lunge.
And, yes, yes.
Okay.
And up. And up.
And bring it down.
And down. And down.
And down.
And, ooh, yeah.
And two. And three.
And lunge.
Lunge.
And yes, yes.
Pull it back.
Hey, dad.
You're a total fucking creep.
And that's a fact.
Huh!
Raymond!
- Come in.
- Hi.
Come here, honey.
Look, it's Mrs. Richards.
Look at you!
Oh, my God, all fancy,
coming down from the big city
to grace us with your presence.
Oh, yeah, and your mom tells me
You're looking for work.
Yep.
Looking for work.
Can't find a job.
- Mm.
- Thanks for bringing that up.
Honey, it's networking.
Um, you know,
I Can't put my finger on it
but just the other day,
someone was telling me
that Dave's doing really good.
You must be proud.
Oh, I am so proud.
Hey, wait. Look at this.
Check this out.
Here's my handsome man.
So fucking handsome.
And you know what I've always
found most handsome about him?
His thick fingers.
Excu excuse me?
Very thick fingers.
I've always been envious.
You know, he's a teacher now.
Oh, really? A teacher? Wow.
It has given him such...
Direction, focus, purpose.
Direction, focus, and purpose.
What more could you want?
- And, oh...
- Hold on.
Do you hear that? I got to go.
- Okay, look.
- I kn... I know...
- I know, I have to talk to you.
- I know, I know.
There is something wrong
with him.
He's just really
sensitive, honey.
So, break's over, ladies.
Okay.
- Hop to it!
- Let's go.
And, go!
And up. And do it.
Mom! Y...
- Raymond!
- What?
What are you screaming about?
- There's something in the drain!
- What?
Hey, did you eat
my ice-cream cake?
- Donald.
- Huh?
Raymond?
Did you?
Yeah, I did.
He did. He ate it.
Yeah. Sorry.
Yeah, he did.
I knew it. I knew it.
- God damn it.
- Donald...
Raymond, you know how much
I love that ice-cream cake.
Oh oh, Donald.
Honey, You're not even...
What are you screaming
all over the goddamn place for
all the time?!
Did you find anything?
Did I not warn you not to get
your mother worked up?
Dad, there was somebody
or something in my room.
You have to believe me.
Something?
Somebody?
No, There's nothing!
There's nothing in this room!
- Dad, I saw it with my own eyes.
- Nothing!
- There never was.
- There was.
Your mother and I are starting
to worry about you, son.
There's a history
of schizophrenia in our family.
Who has schizophrenia?
Well, you caught me
in a lie there.
No, There's no schizophrenia
in our family.
Why Would you make that up?
I'm just trying to make a point.
You're acting like
a paranoid schizophrenic.
And I want it to stop!
You get your shit together.
I said,
"pass out into the breeze "
I'm too hot yeah,
I cannot sleep
But if You're passing by,
I have no shame
We know We're alive,
Can't feel no pain
The water rose up
inside my fear
My hidden things
took a leave
And then I saw
into the light
I Can't remember
what it looked like
Hey.
What's wrong with the bed
in your room?
Um...
I was kind of uncomfortable
up there,
so I thought I'd sleep down here
where it's comfortable.
Mm.
I think I'm just...
I'm just stressing myself out
with this job search, you know?
Well, you have to learn
how to handle that.
Stress management
is Avery important component
in success in business.
- It really is.
- Yeah.
Ow.
What the hell?
What happened to your arm?
I don't know.
Your mother must have scratched
me in her sleep.
Although I think I got one
on my scrotum, too.
She wasn't anywhere near it.
I don't know who
or what you are,
but I'm really, really sorry
that you were disturbed.
So what I'm gonna do is I'm
gonna give you a proper burial.
And in return,
I Would really appreciate it
if you Would just cross over
to the other side
and leave me
and my family alone.
This is a really bad time
for a haunting.
Longstreet ranch...
Well, I tried.
Aah!
Aah! What the...
Fuck?!
Thanks for coming.
Oh, man.
Aah! Fuck!
Mom, dad, I was...
masturbating.
Oh.
Be careful, darling.
Hello?
You know...
When your mother
worries about you,
I never hear the end of it.
And she was in such a good mood
all morning.
- Why is she in such a good mood?
- They found Hector today.
Really? Is he okay?
What happened to him?
Nobody knows.
He's delirious.
If you ask me,
the guy's on meth.
What do you know
about meth, dad?
Everything.
Really? Everything?
You know everything about meth?
I saw a documentary
narrated by Dwart Farquhar.
- Who the shit is Dwart Farquhar?
- Farquhar.
Very underrated actor.
All right.
I'll look into his work.
What's your favorite movie
of his?
- "Running out of bullets."
- I'll watch that one first.
All right. Here, I found this.
That's not mine.
But I'll hold onto it for you.
Yeah. All right.
And I know meth.
How'd you get in here?
You really believe me?
Why are you so surprised?
I guess it's the first ghost
I've seen in awhile.
I'm just not used to being taken
seriously.
Damn, it's closed. Oh, well.
Come back tomorrow?
Cover me.
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
Those are really nice windows.
Don't break those.
What does that even mean?
What now?
Shh!
Ladies first.
All right. Longstreet...
Okay. Okay, there it is.
Longstreet.
"Elizabeth longstreet
died January 27, 1855."
Survived by her husband,
Ambrose longstreet
"and daughter, Hannah."
Look at this...
Ambrose longstreet
"and his daughter, Hannah, died
on the same day, July 18, 1860."
What do you think happened?
"Last night longstreet ranch,
the site of a terrible slaughter
carried out
by the Bogden brothers."
Are you crying?
I'm extra sensitive.
Oh, I better not be
pregnant again.
Okay.
Um...
Ambrose's body was found strewn
across an unmarked grave.
- That's so tragic.
- No, that's it. That's it.
She's the one haunting it.
The little girl, Hannah.
S-she wants to be returned
to where her father buried her,
probably.
Fuckin' "a."
So, all we got to do
is find her body,
put it back in the ground.
She'll be at rest and then
we can be done with all this.
- Did you say "we"?
- Shit yeah, I said "we."
You got a banana in your ear
or something?
We. You and me.
What are you scared?
You scared? You look a little
scared, I'm gonna be honest.
Aren't you supposed to
communicate with the dead?
Just ask the ghost
where her body went.
I don't have all day.
You raise an interesting point.
Really have to wear this?
Sh! Keep your voice down.
You're gonna wake up my dad.
And yes,
we do have to wear this.
If you want to make contact
with the spirit world,
you have to follow
specific rules,
and everyone knows
they find white soothing.
I look like a klan member.
You kind of do.
Also, they're drawn
to candlelight.
Can you... can you
please show a little respect?
What?!
When we ask her
where her spirit is,
she shouldn't feel threatened.
She has to feel encouraged.
We have to encourage her.
And what if she does
feel threatened?
How fast can you run?
All right. You ready?
Give me your hand.
Hannah longstreet hi.
My name is Raymond,
and this is my associate, Becca.
We are inhabitants
of the living world,
so please tell us
where your body is.
- That worked great.
- Shh.
Oh, you know what?
We need something
that belonged to her.
The box she was buried in.
I'll go get it.
I'll get it.
You can wait
in the creepy room alone.
You fucking kidding me?
Aah!
Holy shit. Becca, You're not
gonna believe what I just saw.
What?
- Aaah!
- Ah! Whoa!
- Dad!
- Whoa!
- Who are you?
- Dad!
Hey! Yo...
dad, I can explain.
We thought there
was a burglar down here.
Hey, you bring a girl home,
you take her up to your room.
Next time you interrupt
your mother sucking my dick,
There's gonna be hell to pay.
Did you really just say that?
If I had it to do over,
I wouldn't have revealed
that last piece of information.
Where'd you get this?
Did you dig this up
out of the yard?
How'd you know it was
buried in the yard?
Dad, Where's the body? Drop it.
- Dad, tell me where the body is.
- Just drop it Raymond.
I'm warning you.
Dad, Where's the body?
I'm telling you to drop it.
- Dad, I'm telling you...
- Drop it!
Tell me where the body is
or I'll tell mom.
Becca, I know
where the body is.
I don't want to be part of this
anymore, Raymond.
Becca, You're the first person
who's seen what I've seen.
I've seen enough.
Well, can I at least get
my mom's sheet back?
- You sleep here?
- Yeah.
Not everyone has parents paying
our way through business school.
- Help me bury her.
- No.
We bury her and it's all over.
That's how this works.
Come on.
How about we put the spirit
of a murdered little girl
to rest?
Now I got you,
you little son of a bitch.
Out of the question.
It's a historical artifact.
True.
But it doesn't belong to you.
Your father gave it to me.
That makes it a donation.
And There's nothing I can do
to help persuade you?
Him. What about him?
What about me?
Give me a blow job
and you can have the skeleton.
- All right.
- No! Sit.
Well, I believe
We're done here, then.
Were you seriously gonna
give him a blow job?
I was thinking about it.
Virginia...
See these young folks out
please.
I Can't believe your dad gave
her body to that asshole.
Guess we'll have to break in
again tonight.
How are we gonna know where
Hannah's body is, though?
What do you kids want
with the body of a dead girl?
You wouldn't believe us
if we told you.
Her spirit has returned
from beyond the grave,
hasn't it?
I've been communicating with
the spirit world my entire life.
People used to think
I was crazy.
Holy shit.
I get that a lot myself.
Look, lady, I don't know
who you are
or what your story is,
but we need your help.
We Can't put Hannah's spirit
back to rest
if we don't have her body,
and that dildo licker
won't give it to us.
We have a storage facility
downstairs.
I will switch her remains
and meet you out back.
Cornelius is blind Asa bat.
He'll never know the difference.
You have such a strong aura.
Do you know,
spirits are attracted
to people like you and I.
Fucking weirdos.
Oh, shit!
What the fuck?
You should probably
get that checked out.
Should we say something?
Yeah.
Rest in peace, Hannah.
I'm sorry that you're dead.
But hey, at least you're back
together with your family.
Amen.
- Hello.
- Well, I hope you two
managed to relegate your
activities to the bedroom.
Donald, your manners.
Excuse him.
Raymond, is this your friend?
I'm Becca.
Hi. Would you like to stay
for dinner, honey?
Some of Donald's players
are coming over.
Um... Maybe another time.
Oh, all right.
- Hey, dad?
- What are you doing here?
Look, I know we don't always
see eye to eye on everything,
but I just want you to know
that having a relationship
with you is...
it's really important to me.
Raymond... You're my son.
That's it?
Would you mind going down
to the kitchen
and helping your mom?
Tonight is very important to me.
Fuck my life.
Every year, we have
a little get-together
for our award winners.
The best of the best.
You're my "a" squad.
And I'm proud of each
and every one of you.
This first award goes to our
fiercest defender of the year.
He's a young man I've watched
grow from a boy to a man,
and I'd like to think I taught
him everything he knows.
I love him like family.
I couldn't be more proud of him.
Archibald, come up here
and get this.
Come on.
Love you, coach.
With a name like Archibald,
you kind of have to get good
at sports
to avoid getting
your ass kicked.
- Raymond, please.
- Just saying.
It's, like, the worst name ever.
Now, before we get
to the second award,
I want to apologize.
My wife forgot the grape pop.
Hey, sorry.
All right.
Now, our second award,
that I think
is the most improved...
Jimmy. Come on up here.
Yes.
There you go.
Your father's just as proud
of you
as he is of his players,
Raymond.
Sometimes he just has
a hard time showing it.
Thanks.
All right. Thanks for coming.
All right.
Playoffs begin next week,
all right?
Let's be ready.
Sorry about what happened.
What the hell was that in there?
Dad, you and mom
need to move into a hotel.
What are you talking about?
I know it sounds crazy,
but the house is haunted.
- Are you out of your mind?
- No, I'm not!
I'm sorry I embarrassed you
in front of your boyfriends.
You've been an embarrassment to
me since the day you were born.
However, I've managed to lower
my expectations to a degree
that an incident
like that in there
leaves me relatively unaffected.
But what does bother me is the
state of your mental health,
because You're acting
like a fucking nut.
Now get it together!
- Why won't she leave you alone?
- I don't know.
Maybe she still has unfinished
business or something.
We buried your body.
What are you so hung up on?
My dad's gonna have me
institutionalized.
Why doesn't she just come right
out and tell us what she wants?
Wait a minute...
maybe she's trying to,
and we just don't know
how to hear her.
Oh, Christ evey.
You saw him tonight.
Having him committed
is not the answer, Donald.
- Yeah?
- He's going through a phase.
It will pass.
What if it doesn't?
We don't get to pick
our children.
All we can do is love them.
Mm.
We should've adopted.
Not some ethnic kid.
You know what I'm saying.
A white kid.
Donald, your breath
is terrible.
Go brush, will you?
Ahhhhh!
Uh, no solicitors.
Don.
Who is it?
- We're here to see your son.
- Raymond?
Well, whatever he's done,
I apologize.
The kid's not right in the head.
No, let her in.
Where in the hell
are you going?
- He's upstairs.
- What's wrong with you?
What are you...?
Oh, it's just so good to see
Raymond making friends.
Raymond, this is
my granddaughter.
Zelda, say hello.
Hi, Zelda. Nice to meet you.
Okay.
What's she doing here?
Well, Hannah's spirit
has been troubling you,
and speaking with someone
her own age will help relax her.
It's good to see you again.
What's this?
Has anything happened
to the body?
I dropped it.
She's been marked.
You Can't stay here.
It's not safe for you
to be in here.
You must go.
You must wait outside.
Good.
I will wait outside.
Hi.
It's a phonautograph.
It's the earliest-known device
for recording sound.
I have a tape recorder in
my backpack, if that's easier.
Hannah was born in the 1800s.
Our chances of communicating
with her are far greater
using a device
from the same period.
Zelda, I'm gonna count
from three down to one.
I want you to drift off
into the spirit world,
but I want your mind
to remain here.
Three, two, one.
Can you hear me, Zelda?
Yes, grandma.
- How'd she do that?
- She's crossed over.
Hannah, are you there?
Hannah, speak to us.
Tell us what you want.
It's angry.
Zelda, ask Hannah
why she's angry.
It's angry. It's not Hannah.
Zelda, did you see the spirit?
Can you describe it?
It's Ambrose longstreet.
Who?
Hannah's father.
Ambrose, what do you want?
He won't let me go.
Ambrose, let her go
and tell us what you want.
I want it back.
What do you want back?
The necklace.
What necklace?
Who... who has it?
- The man.
- He stole it.
The man.
He stole it.
The man.
He stole it.
What man? Who has it?
Where is the necklace, Ambrose?
He did it.
- How do you feel?
- Not so good.
Virginia, I Can't do this
without you.
Raymond, you must.
If not Becca's in great danger.
What do you mean?
If a spirit interacts
with someone
who's psychically unaware,
it turns vengeful.
You, her, your parents will
all be in great danger.
It's only gonna get worse.
Where's the necklace?
I don't know what necklace
he's talking about.
Raymond, you've got to find it!
Raymond.
All right that's it.
That's it.
You Can't stay here anymore.
Listen, dad, you and mom
are in trouble!
No, you listen!
I've canceled your credit cards.
I've stopped payment
on your apartment.
You are cut off, mister.
Dad, this is serious.
You take one step
back into that house,
I'll have you committed.
You understand? Committed!
You look like shit.
Thanks. I had a nightmare.
I don't think
I'll ever get over the fact
that you slept
with Dave Richards.
Allegedly.
Your neck hurt?
I've got a pill for that.
I have to find that necklace
before something bad
happens to my parents.
Ahh.
Sweetheart something to drink,
please.
Oh.
Make it a double.
Ooh.
Whoo!
So, Raymond, the doctor called
and said your father
can come home this afternoon.
Donald's depressed, though.
It seems Archibald invited him
to the country club tonight.
Hm. Country club. That figures.
You know, you don't run across
a lot of poor people
named Archibald.
You don't do you?
Hmm.
Ooh, excuse me.
This is fun.
I like her.
Mom, please listen to me.
The house is not safe.
Promise me
you won't go back there,
not until I can take care
of things.
Sh! Raymond, for heaven's sake,
what is going on with you?
I'm worried about you, honey.
Mom, just promise me
you'll spend the rest of the day
at the hospital with dad.
But that's ridiculous.
It will really
make you feel better?
Okay, I will.
Thank you.
Hmm.
Mom, why do you think
dad hates me so much?
Your father doesn't hate you,
Raymond.
He just...
He just doesn't understand
some things.
I'm sorry.
What I want you to know
is that we both love you
very, very much, honey.
And We're proud of you.
And I want you to always
remember that.
Thanks, mom.
Oh!
I just thought of something...
away that you can get back
into your dad's good graces.
And come home.
Thank you.
Keys.
Give me your keys.
I think... I think you might
want to stay seated
for the next...
Oh, my goodness.
Few hours.
Do you have any water or coffee?
Anything?
You all right?
Oh, I think
I'm having a hot flash.
Hi.
Excuse me.
Why, hello, don.
Got your calls.
I was wondering how long
it was gonna take you
before you realized Raymond
was off his anti psychotics.
Listen, give me my money,
and I will prescribe his "blood
pressure" medication again.
Okay? That's the deal.
Okey doke.
Fucking cocksucker!
Where's Mr. Wadsworth?
Mr. Wadsworth is in the
hospital with a broken boner.
I've been approved to temporarily
fill in as substitute teacher
since they couldn't find anybody
else on such short notice.
Bullshit.
Let's start with attendance,
shall we?
You're gay, right?
Never meta gay person before.
Being a football coach and all,
your father must be
so disappointed.
Do you know me? Do you know me?
I'm asking you a question.
Do you know me?
I'll tell you who I am.
I'm a fucking wizard...
Sent from the future
in a motherfucking time machine
to tell you
that you are an asshole.
You're the type of person
that makes fun
of fat short little kids
and makes them feel bad
about themselves
for the rest of their lives
because you think
You're so special.
Well, you know what?
You're not special.
You're not different.
You're not even particularly
interesting.
You're the same bigoted,
homophobic, redneck,
football-scoring, Martin Luther
king-assassinating,
asshole-faced
son-of-a-bitch redneck
that you have spent your entire
life rebelling against.
And I know that
that kills you inside.
Whew.
Sorry about that.
- Want to get out of here?
- Yeah.
Yeah, let's get
the fuck out of here.
Hey, fuck you guys.
All right Becca, wait here.
Better yet go back to the bar.
It's safer.
Oh, please.
I can take care of myself.
You've been marked. I'm not
letting you go any further.
You've been marked.
You saw what happened
to Virginia.
You're not going in there alone.
Aah!
That felt good.
Ambrose.
Ambrose?
Ambrose.
Ambrose?
Ambrose.
Whoa, check this out.
You okay?
Ambrose, don't kill her!
I can fix this!
Just tell me
where the necklace is.
I'm not riding in this thing
again until you get new tags.
Do you have any idea how many
drugs I have on me right now?
Just keep watch
while I sneak inside.
Well, my night just got
a whole lot more interesting.
Dad?
Are you all right?
Did you say something?
Eve sent you a gorgeous bouquet.
I'm gonna get you some water.
Where's the necklace?
Noelle.
Get get on the couch!
- Who are you?!
- I can explain.
I can expl... - who are you?
I'm I'm a friend
of your father's, Raymond.
He was working
at my parents' house
the night that he disappeared.
Oh, You're... You're Eve's son.
Raymond.
Raymond.
Jesus.
Lis that... does that necklace
belong to you?
Uh, no. I-I...
well, I found it
in my father's jacket.
I'm sorry,
it's stolen property,
and I'm gonna have to ask
for it back.
S-stolen?
Oh.
Sorry.
Just take it. It's not
really my thing, anyway.
- It's vintage, so...
- Wow.
So, um...
so You're Hector's daughter.
It's so weird our families have
known each other for so long,
yet we've never met.
Well, I was grounded
for most of my childhood,
so there was that.
And then, uh, I run
an Internet business.
It keeps me busy.
Busty latina Bootys, right?!
You know my site?
Bootylover44.
Oh, You're a kinky one.
- You're... You're noelle!
- You're a dirty one.
- I am a dirty one.
- You are a dirty one.
- Small world.
- It is.
Holy shit. Small world.
I Can't tell you
what a pleasure it's been
masturbating to you. Thank you.
No, it's been a real pleasure
taking your money.
So, you want to watch TV
or something?
- No. You should probably...
- I'll leave.
Where's my car?
They towed it.
You didn't stop them?
Fucking pigs.
Come on, my car's at the bar.
Shouldn't we call a cab?
Well, yeah, dude,
because they're a bunch
of liberal cocksuckers.
You... you listening
to a word We're saying?
They'll socialize that jacket
if you let them.
Fuck. My keys are in the back.
Oh, what you got there, bud?
Give it to me!
Give it back, pope!
Seriously, man!
What the fuck are
you gonna do about it huh?
You know what?
I'm gonna punch you in the face
and probably get my ass kicked.
Prove it.
Suck on that.
Fellas, make sure to tell
my parole officer
this was self-defense, huh?
Lay a hand on him
and There's gonna be trouble.
Stay back, Becca. Stay back.
Stay the fuck
out of this, Becca.
I've never hit a girl,
and I'm not about to start.
I'm pretty sure I'll like it.
I'm not scared of you, pope.
Fine, girly.
Just remember
that you begged for it huh?
Ow! Fuck!
Keys!
Whoo!
What the hell
are you doing here?
Mom, what happened
to your neck?
Are you okay?
The banister broke.
Which is odd,
we just had it replaced.
Mom, get out of the house
right now.
She's not going anywhere,
all right?
Did I not warn you
about stepping foot
in this house again? Huh?
- Don...
- And you...
you stop running after my boy.
You're trouble.
Suck my dick.
What are you gonna do
with those shovels?
- Huh?!
- Wait!
Wait! Wait.
Wait.
Stop. Stop!
Stop with the goddamn shovels.
Stop tearing up
my goddamn yard!
Hey, dad, thanks for telling me
I've been on anti psychotics
for the past 15 years.
- What?
- The blood-pressure medication
I've been on for like half my
life, it's all a freaking lie.
Dad's been getting Dr. carpenter
to prescribe me anti psychotics.
And for good reason.
Ever since you started
taking these,
you stopped seeing
those goddamn ghosts.
Remember how he scared you
all the time,
acting crazy like this,
like he is right now?
Stop it!
You're in big trouble, Raymond.
Big trouble.
- Eve, make the call.
- No.
I won't Donald.
All right. If you want to do
something right
you do it your goddamn self.
What's he doing?
He's having you committed.
Good.
They're coming, Raymond.
The wagon from the nuthouse
is coming to take you away.
Is that a dead body?
Sleep well, Hannah.
It's all right. He's got to go.
- Donald...
- Stop. Stop. Stop it.
Come on.
What... The...
Allow me to explain.
We just reunited a family
in the afterlife
and spared you from the wrath
of a vengeful spirit.
So, on behalf of Becca and I,
I Would just like to say
fuck you, fuck you,
fuck you, fuck you,
and especially, fuck you.
Not you, mom. I love you.
I love you, too.
"F" you!
I ran out of time,
my head in a line
You say, "You're too gone,"
I write you a song
Before I Would start our life,
in my mind
Continue to hold,
continue to hold
Congratulations
on your first day.
- Nervous?
- Yeah, I'm nervous.
I mean, you gave up bartending
to work for me.
What if this doesn't pan out?
I believe in you.
Ready to greet your customers?
Yeah.
Well, it's morning.
Most hauntings happen at night.
I don't need you
to cheer me up.
Everyone, shut the fuck up!
Please sign in,
and we'll get to you
one at a time as fast as we can.
Ohh.
Thanks.
One Saturday,
I took a walk to zipperhead
I met a girl there
and she almost knocked me dead
Punk rock girl,
please look at me
What do you see?
Let's travel
'round the world
Just you and me,
punk rock girl
I tapped her on the shoulder
and said do you have a beau?
She looked at me and smiled
and said she did not know
Punk rock girl, give me
a chance, let's go slam dance
We'll dress
like minnie pearl
Just you and me,
punk rock girl
We went to
the Philly pizza company
And ordered some hot tea
The waitress said, "well,
no, we only have it iced"
So we jumped up on the table
and shouted "anarchy"
And someone played a beach
boys song on the jukebox
It was "California dreamin" '
so we started screamin'
"On such a winter's day"
She took me to her parents
for a sunday meal
Her father took one look
at me
And he began to squeal
Punk rock girl,
it makes no sense
Your dad
is the vice president
Rich as the Duke of Earl
Yeah, You're for me,
punk rock girl
We went to a shopping mall
And laughed
at all the shoppers
And security guards trailed us
to a record shop
We asked for mojo Nixon
They said,
"he don't work here"
We said,
"if you don't got mojo Nixon
Then your store
could use some fixin"'
We got into a car,
away we started Rollin'
I said,
"how much you pay for this?"
She said,
"nothing, man, it's stolen"
Punk rock girl,
you look so wild
Let's have a child
We'll name her minnie pearl
Just you and me,
eating fudge banana swirl
Just you and me,
we'll travel 'round the world
Just you and me
Punk rock girl
Not sure it's my business,
but here's what I have to say
And when we talk about it
talk about it talk about it
Talk until my voice is gone
and I'm through with you, baby
I'm through telling you
Because you ain't
never gonna believe
You best start believin'
I'm gonna be leavin'
If you don't listen to me
Now, I said, "I LA-LA-LA-LA
love you, baby "
and I think
You're really cool"
And if I love you...
So I left you
on a Friday night
By sunday you were sad
And suddenly
you were believing
It was the best
that I ever had
I held your hand
We walked down
by those train tracks, baby
And we cruised down
the Avenue
And when I saw you
dancing... Baby
Well, I felt that I knew
it was you
I said, "I LA-LA-LA-LA
love you, baby "