1
- (drumroll, cymbal crash)
- (crowd laughing)
(crowd gasping, applauding)
Told any good lies lately?
Lying is a part of human nature.
We all tell lies.
And those of you who don't
are lying.
Who wants to play? Who wants to play?
You can't win if you're not in.
MAN (narrating): This
one's a classic...
one of the oldest street
swindles in the world...
the three-card monte.
Find the lady. Toss the broad.
The lady in red will get you ahead.
The jokers black will set you back.
MAN (narrating): See
if you can do it.
Keep your eye on the queen.
(laughing)
Ten-to-one. "Ten-to-one,"
the man says.
Those are the odds and not the time,
unless it's time to play!
MAN (narrating): Let me
introduce the Professor.
The beauty of the three-card monte
is that even though
people know it's a scam,
they still play.
Everybody wants to beat the man.
In fact, no sucker will ever
win the three-card monte.
CROWD: Ooh!
- (cheering)
- Unless he's in on the game.
Yep, that's me.
And I'm no sucker.
- Three-card monte's the name of the game.
- (cheering)
A few years ago, I
learnt to tell lies
for profit and pleasure.
You would probably call
me a con man, a swindler.
I prefer the term
"professional liar."
So let me tell you the truth.
Come on, trust me.
MAN: And start.
MAN (narrating): You
recognize this scene, right?
Final maths exam.
Chinese kid.
Nervous, but he's
totally gonna ace it.
Well, you'd be right if
you were talking about him.
But we're talking about me,
the good-looking one.
Aaah!
It's all fun and games, Master Lawrence,
until someone loses an eye.
Can my son still sit the exam?
Lawrence has brought
great shame to the school.
There's also the injury to
young Jeremy Fong to consider.
But no exam means no university.
I'm afraid Lawrence must
suffer the maximum penalty.
Lawrence?
There are no short cuts.
Cheating will never get you anywhere.
But, Mum, everyone's
going. There'll be girls.
- You're not going to Schooler Paradise.
- Surfer's Paradise.
You promised us you studied.
- You lied to your family.
- Our entire family is full of doctors.
Don't we have enough?
- What are you going to be then, huh?
- I don't know.
My sister in China has bought a
ticket to come to your graduation.
- What am I going to tell her?
- You can tell her about Schooler's Paradise.
(speaking Chinese)
Fine! I'll pay you back.
Every last cent.
LAWRENCE (narrating):
What did they expect?
The average person
lies six times a day.
And I only cheated that one time.
I guess you gotta start somewhere.
(man chattering)
- What the hell!
- You want a phone, you need a job.
You want a job, you need an education.
- (bell chiming)
- (woman on PA, indistinct)
- Chinese lucky money?
- Call as soon as you get there.
With what?
Try to be a good boy.
(Chinese)
Look at these monkeys. They think
they get something for nothing.
But they're just idiots for us to laugh at.
You need to work hard for what you want.
Life is not a game show.
Lawrence, just because your father
sent you here as a punishment
does not mean you cannot have fun.
I can put on my computer
for you to play on.
- Do you have a modem?
- No, Lawrence.
A Macintosh.
(button clicks)
LAWRENCE (narrating):
Uncle Sam loved chess.
I mean, really loved it.
Chess taught him everything
that was important in life...
discipline, tradition,
self-control.
I want to die.
(clocks ticking)
Lawrence, Soo Jin is our club champion.
Lawrence is very smart.
Make a good Chinese boyfriend. (chuckles)
I will leave you two kids together.
I'm sure you'll have lots to talk about.
- She's eight.
- No, Soo Jin is 10, and I'm 52.
Anyone who can beat your
uncle in a game of chess
must have something worthwhile to say.
(loud clattering)
(chuckling) That's the spirit.
Excuse me, sir.
If you're not here to play chess,
I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
My good man, I am here to play.
A visitor's game is five dollars.
(chuckling)
Who's the president of
this fine establishment?
- I am.
- Oh, excellent.
You're a man of chess, no less.
A yellow Kasparov. (chuckling)
I, too, am quite the master
even if I do say so myself, which I do!
I've not been beaten for nine years.
This is a tragedy, but
I've come all the way...
to the antipodes for a new challenge.
Mr. President, I propose to you a wager.
Defeat me in a single game,
and you can ram-jam
ramabam these 50 clams...
into your old skyrocket.
I don't play for money.
Oh! (mutters)
(chuckles) So who is the
best player in the club?
- Me!
- Ah!
I won the club championship three times.
Oh, my.
Delighted to meet you, young lady.
Enough!
In that case, I shall defeat you all.
This is a serious club.
Very well. I shall defeat
at least half of you.
Gentlemen... and young lady...
the terms of tonight's wager.
I shall play you, Chairman Mao.
In fact, I shall play you all.
I stake my money that A:
I will defeat you, sir,
B: I will defeat at least half of you,
and C:
I will play you all at
exactly the same time!
Hmm.
Hmm. Well.
(grunts)
Checkmate. Yes!
(grunting)
Gentlemen, thank you for
being so gracious in defeat.
But ruminate on this.
Next time, I might play sober.
- (chuckling)
- (murmuring)
SOO JIN: He's brilliant.
Yeah. Very clever.
Why would you be following
an old drunk down an alley?
I'm a good judge of character, young man,
and you don't look like a ruffian to me.
- You forgot something.
- Ah, my whiskey!
Thank you.
Your cold tea.
A harmless little deception
in order to lower the
expectations of one's adversaries.
You're very perceptive for a
young man who doesn't play chess.
Neither do you.
But you just saw me play 10 games at once.
I'm the grand pooh-bah.
I haven't lost a match in 12 years.
- Nine years.
- Well, time flies when you're having fun.
You didn't win 10 games. You
didn't win any games at all.
You played them against each other.
You watched the move one
player made against you...
and copied it on the opposite board.
Of course you would
win half the games.
And you beat my uncle
because you played him
against the club champion.
Checkmate. Yes!
(laughing)
Lawrence, isn't it?
Well, Lawrence, you've busted my gaffe.
You're Joe hep. You're hep to the game.
And your keen eye has earned
you a pineapple here tonight.
Would you mind?
So you walk in, steal their money
and walk away just like that?
Lawrence, that hurts.
I didn't break any of the
Ten Commandments tonight.
I didn't murder anybody.
I didn't covet my neighbor's donkey,
and I certainly didn't steal anything.
You've just insulted an
old man who gave you $50.
My uncle's $50.
The lure of easy money...
clouds rational thought.
You cannot cheat an honest man.
That is the first rule of my occupation.
A con man.
I prefer the term "professional liar."
- SAM: Lawrence!
- I should go... Wait!
- My money.
- Easy come, easy go.
That also tends to be something of a rule.
I need that money.
If you want to earn it back,
Sunday morning at the mall.
Good evening, Lawrence.
Come on, mate.
Good morning.
Good morning, young man.
It's Lawrence.
What are you doing here?
You said you might need a hand.
What kind of hand?
With whatever scam you've got going on.
Do you think you might
like to speak up a little?
I don't think everybody quite heard you.
Look about you. What do you see, hmm?
Magazines.
For every imaginable interest,
but they're all concerned with desire.
People want what they can't have.
Some are more obviously
concerned with desire.
Persuasion is about giving
people what they want.
- I don't want this.
- Perhaps not, Master Lawrence.
But ask yourself this.
(muttering) Turn around.
- What do you want, hmm?
- (writing)
Thank you.
- My wife is seven months pregnant.
- Excuse me?
A long-time customer
of this establishment.
A subscriber to many fine magazines.
I'm sorry. What was her name?
- And you send her this.
- Oh. Dear.
Perhaps we could just exchange
it for the correct publication.
Yes, of course. I do apologize.
- No, no, no.
- If there's anything I can do.
Not at all.
However... (chuckling)
she's always complaining about the
lack of a good pair of scissors.
Ah. How much for your very best pair?
Oh, please.
It would be my pleasure, sir.
Oh, that is too kind.
Thank you. Good day.
Confidence is about trust.
- Can I borrow $50?
- You already have my 50.
Hmm, I suppose you might see it that way.
Do you really think you've
got what it takes, hmm?
Sure.
Convince her to take the money.
- My $50?
- Yep.
But you have to keep the wallet.
Oh, sorry. Is that your wallet?
Um, no. Is it yours?
- No, it's a man's wallet.
- Yes, um...
- Anyway, do you want the money?
- What? No.
I mean, I just thought I'd keep the
wallet, and you could have the...
Here.
See if there's any ID in it.
- Look, a family man.
- Oh, and $50.
- Don't you want it?
- No. Isn't there, like, a card or something?
No. Wait.
All right.
- (change drops)
- (line rings)
Hello. Is this...
Yes, speaking.
Oh, really? Oh, thank goodness.
What is your name?
Sarah. Oh, that's lovely.
(chuckles) Yes, I have
a daughter called Sarah.
Listen, anyway, we've
got your wallet, so...
Look, I'd like to give you a reward.
Those photos mean so much to me.
How does $200 sound?
- That's not necessary.
- No, not at all.
It's for your honesty.
It's such a rare quality.
- Hey! Give me the wallet.
- No, I found it.
- Look, I want the wallet.
- Keep the 50. I'm keeping the wallet.
- It's a man's wallet.
- I want it for my dad. You take the money.
The wallet's worth more than $50.
Yes. So?
Take the money?
No, you idiot. What are you doing?
- Please take the money?
- Oh, my God.
(picks up receiver)
He's an idiot.
He wants to talk to you.
Hello?
You're supposed to say, "How
'bout I sell you the wallet?
How much are you willing to pay?"
This is the guy that
busted your chess swindle?
This is Lawrence. He's no Laurence Olivier.
But he is damn cute.
LAWRENCE (narrating): Yeah.
She didn't say that.
(voices rewinding)
- This is the guy that busted your chess swindle?
- This is Lawrence.
I told you that scam was
rubbish. It's old, and so are you.
Lawrence, meet Sarah.
Come on, Dad. We can do better.
We leave tomorrow night.
WOMEN: Don't, don't
Don't, don't
Don't, don't
This ordinary thing
Can be more colorful
than you say it is
The cardinal sin
Is to tell a lie, but
now you must give in
The storm came down on you
Just like it was the end
I've never heard of such a thing.
It's like a bus with medical students.
We drive around to help
out country hospitals.
- Medibus.
- But you are not a medical student.
Not yet.
I need a job if I'm ever
going to pay back Dad.
Lots of driving. Very dangerous.
At least if we have an accident,
the bus is full of doctors.
Hey. (speaking Cantonese)
It's a joke, Uncle.
Why don't you ever speak Cantonese?
Thanks for everything, Uncle.
Make sure to call every few days.
I will.
Ah! (Cantonese)
(gasps)
With a belly full of hot
tea, all is in harmony.
- Confucius?
- No, Lawrence.
Antioxidants.
- (chattering)
- (silverware clinking)
I want to learn to do what you do.
What do you think it is that I do?
You're a con artist, aren't you?
I'm a reader of people.
Ordinary people.
What about that man?
What do you think he does?
- He's a businessman.
- Mm-hmm.
- A stockbroker or something.
- How do you know that?
It's an expensive suit.
Cheap shoes.
The affectation of status.
That's his tell.
He's a salesman, popular at school,
probably captain of the football team.
- He's married, but he's having an affair.
- How do you know?
He has a mobile, but
he's using a pay phone.
- His wife checks his bills.
- The battery could be flat.
(chuckles)
I used to have partners.
Long ago, far away.
We pulled long cons,
short cons, card scams.
We played the Melon Drop, the Rainmaker,
the Fiddle Game, the
Wire, and even the Badger.
Always assume that the more
sordid explanation is correct.
(cell phone rings)
Hi, honey.
Yes. Still at work.
Yeah. Sure.
Lawrence,
the game is not a game.
- You would have to follow my directions.
- Of course.
I need to be able to trust you.
There's no running back home the
first time things become tricky.
It's not going to happen.
And another thing.
You must never tell
anybody about this. Ever.
Any of it.
Would you promise?
LAWRENCE (narrating): I... promise.
WOMAN: Borders
and horizon lines
(car door opens, closes)
- We're alone, but side by side
- (door opens)
We're yet to dream
We're yet to dream
Nothing here is
what it seems
There's an animal inside
There's an animal inside
Half awake and almost dead
Keeping empty beds elsewhere
We're yet to bleed
We're yet to bleed
All the time and energy
Ah-ah-ah
- Ah-ah-ah
- In silence
Ah-ah-ah
In silence
Could we try to reinvent
Feed the head...
LAWRENCE (narrating): My
parents would have killed me.
I wasn't even allowed sleepovers.
- And these people were criminals...
- (snoring)
but I didn't care.
I was exactly where I wanted to be.
The first scam I learned
was the Lost Trinket.
We would look for the
worst pub in town...
- (sheep bleating)
- with the dodgiest barman.
Someone with greed in their bones.
I call these suckers tin mittens.
(clinking)
You know I did drama at school, right?
Shut up, Lawrence. Do you want
to go home to your stupid family?
- What can I get you?
- A drink for me and the lovely lady.
Just a beer, thanks.
LAWRENCE (narrating): There
are five steps to any good con.
First is roping the sucker.
(laughs)
We'd have a drink, sit
around for a bit, then leave.
Could you quit the Hamlet routine?
What?
The next day, I would
come back to the same bar.
Hello, my good lady.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- My intended and I...
- My fiance and I...
- were here the other day...
- And when she was dancing by the jukebox...
when she went to powder her nose...
- we think she lost...
- she dropped...
- her pendant.
- I was hoping you might have...
- Wondering if you found it?
- No.
- It's really special to us.
- Family heirloom.
- It really means a lot to me.
- So if anyone finds it...
- could you ask them to call this number?
We're willing to offer you a $1,000 reward.
LAWRENCE (narrating): Some time
later, the Professor would arrive.
(laughing)
His favorite routine was
to pretend to be drunk.
- (groans)
- (grunts)
- Ooh.
- Look what I found.
Fuck me.
- That's mine.
- Oh, finders keepers.
It's worth a pretty penny, I'd wager.
Mmm. (chuckles)
- Fifty bucks.
- A hundred?
Looks like gold to me.
200. That's it.
I think I'll just hang on to it.
- 250.
- 300.
- 375.
- 400.
And a six-pack.
LAWRENCE (narrating): The
most money we ever made was...
(cash register dings)
Hand it over, codger.
(groans)
The final step is
the most important.
Come on, come on.
- When the bartender calls the number...
- Yes. Hello.
Listen, I've found your necklace.
The family heirloom. What?
(speaking Chinese)
Huh?
- Shit.
- Fuck.
LAWRENCE (narrating): If he
tried to sell the necklace...
And best of all, she
can't tell the police...
because she took the money
straight from the cash register.
Sneaky fuckers.
Ah. Dodgy prigs.
(sighs) Fuck this.
- Where are you going?
- I'm going for a walk. He could be ages.
- Do you actually do that?
- My record's two minutes.
I've never been able to do it.
My mum taught me. She
can do it in 90 seconds.
Here.
She sounds like fun.
If you think it's fun being a kid.
Where's your mum?
She left. What do I do first?
Because of the Professor?
He says the older I get,
the more I speak like her.
You know, I can see her face,
but I have no memory of her voice.
I wonder what she sounds like now,
who she's talking to.
You're not the only one who
gets treated like a child.
LAWRENCE (narrating): We pulled
all kinds of different scams,
but what the Professor
really loved...
was cards.
No one knows exactly,
but it's believed that
cards were invented...
somewhere in the seventh century...
by the Chinese.
LAWRENCE (narrating):
What didn't we invent?
PROFESSOR: Cards were brought
down the Silk Road to markets
in Egypt and the Holy Land.
Originally,
they were used to
predict the future.
In the 15th century, in Germany,
the printing press allowed
cards to be mass-produced.
- Games of chance flourished across Europe.
- (men laughing)
And of course, the card
cheats weren't far behind.
- Hold out your left hand.
- I'm right-handed.
Oh, really?
This... is your deck.
The cards must become an
extension of your body.
But keep them in your hand
even when you're asleep.
You must become intimate
with the weight, the feel,
the size of them.
Like the touch of a lover's breast.
Wax on, wax off.
That's a bezique deck...
from 1910.
All 64 of them.
Cards used to be known as pasteboards.
You just feel the thickness of those.
There's over a hundred
years of grit on them.
It's the most valuable thing that I own.
- What about me?
- I don't own you, my dear.
That much is obvious.
These are beautiful.
Where'd you get them from?
They were a wedding
gift from an old friend.
The only thing from that
friendship that survived.
(chuckles)
You never talk about Riley.
Who's Riley?
We could have been brothers.
He taught me how to play cards.
- He was a confidence man?
- He was no con man.
He was a thief.
You blame him for everything.
He took something very precious from me.
Maybe she was just bored.
MAN: You don't have
to fall in line
Life is such a crazy fight
Live louder
Uh
Live louder
Uh
Hoo
Hey, look, I did it!
Uh
Live louder
Yeah, ow
Get up and dance like you dance
when there's no one around
Sing a song the way you sing
when you're in the shower
Lose yourself, let your soul
redesign a new kind of cool
Redefine a new kind of
- La-la-la-la-la-la
- Louder
- La-la-la-la-la-la
- Live louder
- La-la-la-la-la-la
- Louder
La-la-la-la-la-la
Let it go
Don't ever let anybody tell you
the hand is faster than the eye.
The hand cannot be faster than the eye.
The hand is faster than the mind.
Back in the pack, Jack.
Go, go, go, go, go
Dance like you dance when
there's no one around
- Sing a song the way you sing when you're in the shower
- I wanna hear you
Lose yourself, let your soul
redefine a new kind of cool
Sure, Uncle. I'm making money.
Quite a bit, actually.
I don't have it all yet, but I will.
- Live louder
- Anyway, I have to go, Uncle.
Talk to you soon.
La-la-la-la-la-la
MAN: No.
No. No.
- WOMAN: What?
- No!
- Excuse me!
- If you want to check the sign out there,
you'll see it's "secondhand record store."
It's record. Analogue.
A-N-A-L-O-G-U-E.
So if you want to listen to music on
your telephone, then I can't help you.
Ai-yi-yi-yi.
The chopsticks are an
extension of your body.
Very amusing. Yeah.
I thought you were supposed
to be good with your hands.
Well, I know when I'm beaten.
Ah. (chuckles) Charity.
Thank you.
Lawrence, this is actually really good.
Mmm.
You have excelled yourself, young man.
I would like to propose a toast.
Yeah. In order to welcome Lawrence
to our little family of outcasts.
Lawrence.
I've had an idea for a scam.
(bell dings)
- Yes?
- (broken English) Oh, wow.
Very happy I am you have this band.
I've looked all over Japan for it.
I've looked on worldwide super highway.
eBay. No can find.
How much you want it for?
Uh... Mmm. Minimal stylus damage.
Patina on the cover, slightly foxed.
Let's say $15.
- Fifteen dollar?
- Australian.
Fifteen dollar? Are you crazy in the mind?
All right. Ten?
I not pay you 10 or 15.
I pay you 50!
What the hell was that?
- Japanese foreign exchange student.
- Aren't you Chinese?
- I've got range.
- Great con.
So we're $50 down and holding
a piece-of-shit record called...
- Oh, my God.
- Telling the Tale.
Ah, excuse me. Have you carry
another album like this one?
Ah, no, no. Sadly, no.
Oh! Because I need two album.
One album to take home
to Japan. I'm from Japan.
To put in picture frame on wall
to show my high school friends.
And one to play, to listen to it.
One album to play, to listen to it,
and one to put in picture frame on my wall
to show my high school friends, in Japan.
I'm afraid I can't help you.
This is a very, very obscure item.
It's very rare, and
it's quite valuable too.
I know. You not tell me this.
I looked on eBay. Rory MacLachlan.
So popular in Japan. That's where I'm from.
Listen, Jackie Chan, you understand
the meaning of the word "obscure"?
Tunnel of Sound is a rarities
and collectibles emporium.
We sell only the
exceptional and the uncommon.
Now fuck off.
Oh.
- Mister.
- (groans)
You don't understand. I'm a really big fan.
- What?
- A really big fan.
Please, listen to me.
I come back in one weeks.
If you have another album like this
one, I will pay you big money for it.
Top dollar.
He will believe me, 'cause I just
spent 50 bucks on a shit record.
Okay. What now?
No fucking way.
- Let's go over what you're going to say.
- Can we?
Your boyfriend's dumped you.
You're upset, on the verge of tears.
He gave you these records, but
now you want to get rid of them.
Wipe the slate clean.
- But when you get to...
- I couldn't only sell it for 50 bucks. I get it.
What if he recognizes his own record?
He won't. He'll get distracted by your...
- My what?
- Outfit.
- Don't forget to upsell.
- Lawrence, I got this.
This guy's gonna pay up
big for his own record.
(broken English) Top dollar.
(bell dings)
- Did you want to sell those?
- Yeah, sure.
I'll give you 20 bucks for the lot.
Wait! Thank God I found you.
Sorry. These are my father's records.
- That's my sister.
- Your sister?
(whispers) She's adopted.
Aaah!
(broken English) Oh. Oh, Rory MacLachlan.
So cool in Japan.
No, he's not. I looked it up.
(slurping)
LAWRENCE (narrating): The mark of a
good con is not how much money you make.
It's how clean you get away.
Well, you broke it, you bought it.
The old china. (slurping)
Just as long as you
gonna get what you need
- It would have worked.
- Don't worry about it.
- I've seen worse.
- You've seen worse?
No, not really. (laughing)
Oh, my God.
PROFESSOR: Don't despair, Lawrence,
my boy. You've made a great beginning.
Oh, my first con.
(continues, faint)
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh
LAWRENCE (narrating): The
Professor loved to play poker.
Even more, he loved
to cheat at poker.
After all, poker is a game
designed to be played by liars.
The ultimate form of the lie is the bluff.
Bluffing turns a game of chance
into a game of skill.
LAWRENCE (narrating): But that's not the
only reason the Professor loved poker.
As far as I could tell, it was across
a poker table that he met... her.
WOMAN: In my
foolish lover's game
She was a small-time
cheat, a peeker.
She used shiners, tiny mirrors,
to get a glimpse of the
cards as they were dealt.
It's easy to spot if you
know what to look for.
The Professor did
know what to look for,
but he also liked what he saw.
The Professor was mucking back then,
introducing foreign
cards into a game.
He was good,
but so was she.
Or maybe he tipped his hand.
They became partners.
More than partners.
And together, they became readers.
Readers use a marked deck.
On the back of the cards are
tiny dots or hidden patterns.
Readers switch the
honest deck for their own.
This is called cooling the deck.
LAWRENCE (narrating): Together, they
could take on bigger rooms, higher stakes.
But cooling the deck
is a dangerous game.
If someone suspects another
player of being a reader,
all he needs to do
is demand a new deck.
Take my breath away
- Take my breath away
- But they were good.
They were very good.
There's no encouragement
like success,
and they wanted more.
- Enter Riley.
- Take my...
(all laughing)
Riley was a great
cheat, a card mechanic.
He was always looking for an angle,
and he cheated at every opportunity.
By the time Sarah was
born, it was over.
Maybe he should have seen it coming.
But you cannot cheat an honest man.
(snoring)
SARAH (whispering): Hey, Lawrence.
- Where did you get that?
- Out of your bag.
Do as I do.
- (coughing)
- (chuckles)
(exhales)
It's one of the oldest in the
book. Don't worry about it.
I'm not my father. Keep your money.
- Did you bring me in here to scam me?
- What else?
(chuckles)
- Do you have any friends?
- And what would I do with friends?
- Normal people sometimes have some.
- Have you ever had a girlfriend?
- Sure.
- Bullshit.
(sighs)
I've never had a girlfriend.
(chuckles) I will drink to that.
To no girlfriends.
- To no boyfriends.
- To no fucking friends at all.
My father has no friends.
- What about me?
- (chuckles)
Has the old fucker still not told you?
(chuckles)
(pouring liquid)
(retches, groans)
Oh, God.
(retches)
Okay, okay.
(retches) Ah!
(traditional)
LAWRENCE (narrating): When something
looks too good to be true, it usually is.
Lying to people was really fun,
but being lied to, not so much.
- Forty.
- Correct.
- I don't know, about 30.
- Ah, Lawrence!
- Thirty-two.
- Yeah, that's good.
- Nineteen.
- You're not concentrating.
What am I doing here?
You are studying the art.
That's not what I mean.
Why are we here? Where are we going?
We're going to Melbourne.
Melbourne? I don't want
to go back to Melbourne.
What possible reason
could you have to go there?
A card game.
A big one.
Every year for the past 50
years, a game's been played...
in the same kitchen in Melbourne.
The Cook's Game.
Once played by the head
chefs of fancy hotels,
the Cook's Game is now
worth the kind of money
that attracts serious gamblers
and dangerous men.
I don't intend to lose the
Cook's Game a second time.
It takes $10,000
and the right connections to get a seat
at the green felt.
You aren't answering my question.
It's called the Little
Red Riding Hood game.
I'm the brass.
If I win my deal,
the lambs know I'm a mechanic.
So the old Professor
needs a secret partner.
I send a basket of
goodies to grandma's house.
I need a wolf in disguise.
So all this time, you just
wanted someone for a card game.
Did you think I was teaching you
out of the goodness of my heart?
- And afterwards?
- You'll get your share.
What you do with it is up to you.
Look, you asked me why I
brought you here. I told you.
But ask yourself,
why are you still here?
Because you love it.
Lying, cheating.
The gift of the grift is inside you.
Always has been.
Now I told you you could
leave whenever you wanted.
And so you can.
(chuckles) But you won't.
Watch me.
Lawrence, don't let him get to you.
(line ringing)
LAWRENCE (on answering machine): Hi.
You've called Leo, Mai-Ling and Lawrence.
- No one's home. Please leave a message.
- (beeps)
Hi, Mum. Hi, Dad. It's
Lawrence. Remember me?
- (fireworks exploding)
- It's noisy here.
I just want to tell you...
(sighs) I just wanted to say...
LAWRENCE (narrating): But
the Professor was right.
(Chinese)
I did love it.
Every businessman knows you
need money to make money.
To get two seats in the
Cook's Game, we needed money.
Lots of it.
In a hurry.
Lawrence. Can you come here a sec?
(sighs)
- How old are you?
- Nineteen.
Eighteen.
I can tell when you're lying.
(scoffs) Seventeen and a half.
- You haven't touched a girl before, have you?
- Sure.
What's my tell? A twitch? My voice? What?
Do you really want to know?
- Do you like me, Lawrence?
- No.
And there's your tell.
I didn't see anything.
Let's see.
You come from a leafy Melbourne suburb
with nice cars and a public library.
You're a mama's boy.
Your father had such high hopes for you.
What would he say if he could see you now?
But what you really want to know
is if a girl like me
could ever be with a boy like you.
Could you? I mean, do you like me?
No.
Aren't you gonna call my bluff?
And follow your
own heart now
Always
I remember you
Slow down
And try to tell the truth
I have a good poker face.
You act angry when you're lonely,
which is most of the time.
You don't want to play the
Badger, but he told you to.
Your mum left you when you were little.
And one day... One day you'll
have the guts to leave too.
But not yet.
(sighs)
It's only business.
Come on.
LAWRENCE (narrating): The most lucrative
con we ever pulled was the Badger.
Sarah played the Mack.
The suckers were businessmen,
married and in town for business.
All kinds of business.
- Hit me.
- What?
Hit me.
(sighs)
You fucking liar!
- Don't call me a liar.
- I trusted you.
So I lied to you. Big deal.
- I thought you loved me.
- Grow up. People cheat.
- Go back to the motel.
- What if you need help?
Go back to the motel.
LAWRENCE (narrating): The Badger
followed the five steps of a con,
but was different in
one important respect.
In the Badger, the
suckers roped themselves.
Hey.
LAWRENCE (narrating): The Badger
doesn't rely on a sucker's greed.
It plays on a different
instinct altogether.
You're in a hurry.
You are... so beautiful.
Do you have anything to drink?
Uh, yeah. Yeah, sure.
LAWRENCE (narrating): When
the moment was right,
the Professor would
barge into the room,
claiming to be her father.
The Badger was the one
time he told the truth.
Oh, no.
He'd tell some story
about how she was only 16,
threaten to talk to his
family, his work, the press.
And the sucker would always pay.
Through the nose. Guaranteed.
Please.
But the worst thing about the
Badger was that it was so effective.
We played it night after night.
It's only business.
Share the risk, share the reward.
Hmm.
Dinnertime.
- They grow up so quickly.
- Mmm.
- Hello, Henry.
- Sarah, my dear.
You look more like your mother every day.
Lawrence, this is the Birdman.
Hello.
Are you sure you're ready
for this, Master Lawrence?
- (chuckles)
- (chuckles)
It's an international affair.
Elmsley's in again, and, um,
some serious gambling junkie from Dubai.
And then of course there's Riley.
Now what about the, uh...
Ah, let's eat.
I'll do what I have to to get
you the cards that you need.
Bet big on my deal, but
do not try being creative.
For you, this is just
about good card playing.
- So I've learned it all for nothing?
- They'll carve you up.
At the end, it'll just be
you and me playing cards.
(chattering)
(dance)
[ Riley ] Beautiful.
Isn't she?
Who are you?
You know who I am.
And I know who you are.
What do you want?
A drink.
You should stop following that old
fool around. It's got no future.
- He's not a fool.
- He's always been a fool. Now he's an old one.
- He'll beat you.
- (chuckling)
Let me see. The Little
Red Riding Hood game?
Perhaps a little cold tea in a hip flask?
You play your little game.
I'm going to win anyway.
(continues)
Ever been in love, Lawrence?
No.
(chuckles) I knew it.
You have to work on that tell of yours.
Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me.
Love.
It can make a man do things...
things he will later regret.
I don't think the Professor's
ever likely to forgive you.
Sour old bastard got
what was coming to him.
I'm talking about that little baby girl.
My daughter.
That's right.
He hasn't told you that, has he?
So, Lawrence,
is my secret safe with you?
May the best man win.
Hey, stop!
Lawrence? What are you doing here?
You're in serious trouble. She's only 17.
I'm afraid the only course of
action available to me, sir,
is to contact your family.
- No, Lawrence!
- That is, of course, unless
you can think of another
way we can sort this out.
(grunting)
Get off him!
(wheezes)
LAWRENCE (narrating):
It's all fun and games
until someone loses an eye.
- Sarah...
- Shut up.
Here.
Nothing broken.
I've never been in a fight
before. It really hurts.
No shit.
I was trying to be normal for one night.
Sorry.
You shouldn't have followed me.
Just looking out for a friend.
Lawrence, you're not my friend.
I told you, we don't make
friends. It's not what we do.
It's just Dad and me.
He's... not...
He's not here.
You'll never be one of us.
That's why I trust you.
We can do this, Lawrence.
We have to. We can leave him.
Together.
LAWRENCE (narrating): I
know I look confident,
but I got pretty good at pretending.
But pretending is just another lie,
and the Cook's Game
was the real thing.
(clears throat)
You look great, Dad.
Hmm.
This is it, Lawrence,
my boy. (clears throat)
I'll see you there.
Do me proud.
(door opens, closes)
Don't move your eyes to the
right when you're bluffing.
That's my tell? It's that obvious?
Why couldn't I see it?
Think about it.
(chuckles) You can't see
your eyes moving in a mirror.
Time to go, Hamlet.
(sighs)
Ah, what up, dog?
Ooh, yeah, uh
They say these songs
ain't the style no more
When these kids go wild,
man, I ain't so sure
Yeah, uh, check it out, uh
They told me live
within your means, kid
I don't know what that
means, man I dream big
All day, I got these scenes where
we light the night up like gasoline
Turning average into magic
like a pocketful of beans
And it seems so simple But when I turn
the windows of my soul out the window
Point 'em at my kinfolk
- What name, young man?
- Jeremy Fong.
Good luck tonight, Master Fong.
This way, please.
Baby hate the mirror, get
her pretty face all modified
And I wish that I
could change it, love
But ain't nobody
plans this stuff
But it's gonna be all
right I'm crystal balling
Don't worry about that shit
We'll work it out in the morning
Get your last call in
This is Master Jeremy Fong.
Oh, you're younger than I expected.
Welcome to the game. Please, take a seat.
I don't recognize you, kid.
Where do you normally play?
Shanghai. Macau, sometimes.
My father's casino.
I like him. If the kid pays, the kid plays.
Macau?
(Chinese)
Sorry. I don't speak Cantonese.
Only Mandarin.
(door opens)
Gentlemen, some of you
may have met Mr. Riley.
Two-time winner of the game.
You've met Rashid.
This is Alex Elmsley, Jeremy Fong and...
Hello, Vernon. How's
that little girl of yours?
Please, Mr. Riley. Keep it nice.
All friends here, Alice.
Now... (cracks knuckles)
let's play some fucking cards.
You ain't gonna
see me comin'
Got a quick draw
LAWRENCE (narrating): Poker is a
game designed to be played by liars.
But not all liars are equal.
What about you, Professor?
Have you grown a pair?
Two pair actually. (chuckles)
LAWRENCE (narrating): The
inexperienced pretends to have skill.
The skillful pretends to be green.
Screw you, kid.
And so we control the cards.
The only variables
are the other players.
Motherfucker!
Something to remember me by.
Riley!
Get him out of here.
You ain't gonna
see me comin'
So take your best shot
LAWRENCE (narrating): Ladies and
gentlemen, the Little Red Riding Hood game.
The Professor stacks his chips dirty
to tell me Rashid's number is up.
First, I signal what cards I have.
This card is a queen.
He goes rabbit-hunting in the
muck to get the cards we need.
Then he goes south
to stack the deck.
He false shuffles with a
push-through or an up-the-ladder
so the deck stays stacked.
He crimps the bottom card
before he gives the deck
to the next player to cut.
And a classic pass gets
the cards back in order.
(clears throat)
With the cowboys we dealt
him, he has to take the bait.
The flop turns both
pairs into trips.
And right now, his three kings
beat my three queens.
Three kings... the
Christmas special.
The Professor bottom
deals, and there she is.
Rashid's money card.
Now he has the boat.
Kings over queens.
Almost nothing beats a full house.
Almost.
Four queens.
The Village People.
(foreign language)
(lighter flicks open)
LAWRENCE (narrating): Con
men don't play games.
They play people.
And people are unpredictable.
To be honest with you,
they were happier times.
Salad days. (chuckles)
I remember them with affection.
I remember differently.
You've done a really good
job with Sarah, you know.
She's a beautiful woman,
just like her mother.
Though she has my eyes.
She's nothing like her mother.
Really?
When she finds a man who gives
her what you can't, she's gone.
ALICE: Hey!
It's only cheating when you
get caught, right, Professor?
ALICE: Get him out of here.
I trust that no one else
will insult the house.
She left me too, you know.
I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.
I was the card player,
but she was a better liar.
What are you doing here, kid?
I mean, really,
what the hell are you doing here?
You sure about that?
(chuckling)
Yes. Don't feel bad.
Honesty.
It's a good quality.
(exhales)
You little fuck!
(grunts)
Mmm, mmm, yeah, yeah, yeah
Oh, ah
(vocalizing)
Whoa, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
(man rapping on radio)
- (stops)
- (sighs)
I can't do this.
It's our only chance.
I wrote a letter.
I should take it in.
I'll do it.
Back in a minute.
- She finally did it.
- Shit!
My little girl's grown up.
She's on her own. Good girl.
Not on her own.
We planned it together.
This note, it's for you.
I think you'll find, my dear boy,
it's for you.
LAWRENCE (narrating):
In a sweetheart con,
the suckers rope themselves.
Listen, anyway, we've
got your wallet, so...
To no fucking friends at all.
We can do this, Lawrence.
We have to. We can leave him.
I wrote a letter.
I should take it in.
SARAH'S VOICE: I'm sorry
for leaving like this,
but it's all I know how to do.
I can imagine how you'll feel,
but I just couldn't face good-bye.
Not with you.
You know what they
say... "lucky at cards."
(chuckles)
Thank you for everything.
Say good-bye to him for me.
"I will miss you and think of you often.
Love always, Sarah."
You were great out there tonight, my boy.
You're a real player.
- I let the team down.
- But...
The better man won.
Aren't you angry?
(sighs) I'd have given
it to her if she'd asked.
It's only money.
Mine's a dying art, my boy.
An art of grace and tact.
Nowadays, a chap in a suit
can hit some keys in a machine
and rob honest people of millions
without even lookin' 'em in the eye.
We trick people into giving us money.
We make them dishonest.
They're dishonest to begin with.
Even you.
Chinese lucky money?
You might need it.
How about you?
I'll be fine.
You saw it coming, right? This is
a con movie, you said to yourself,
and all con movies end with a scam.
Well, you're right.
But even though it does end with a scam,
this isn't a con movie.
This is my life.
(voices rewinding)
(breathing deeply) I can't do this.
- Sarah, listen...
- No, Lawrence, you don't understand.
I was going to leave you both.
I'm sorry.
I didn't know what to do.
Sarah.
Children grow up and leave their
parents. It's what's supposed to happen.
He just needs to know
he's been a father to you.
(inhales, exhales)
But what about you?
You're the only friend I've ever had.
LAWRENCE (narrating): Some
things are not quite lies
and not quite truth.
I'll be okay.
They're just what
people need to hear.
PROFESSOR: "I'm sorry
for leaving like this,
but it's all I know how to do.
I can imagine how you will feel,
but I just couldn't face good-bye.
Not... Not with you.
You know what they say... 'lucky at cards.'
Thank you for everything.
Say good-bye to him for me.
I will miss you
and think of you often.
Love always, Sarah."
You were great out there tonight, my boy.
A real player.
- I let the team down.
- But...
No, the better man won.
No.
He might be the better mechanic,
but you're the better man.
You raised her, even though
you knew she was his daughter.
You gave her a life.
You were her father.
(chuckles, sniffs)
I have confidence in you.
Thanks.
But I'm going home.
Hmm.
Chinese lucky money.
But you might need it.
What about you?
(chuckles) I'll be fine.
LAWRENCE (narrating): You don't
always need to beat the man.
Sometimes it's enough to be the man.
I haven't seen the
Professor since that night.
I'm sure he's still out there,
somewhere,
doing what he does best.
I haven't seen Sarah either.
Someone sent me a photo one time.
But there was no name.
Perhaps she didn't want to lie.
Told any good lies lately?
Lying is a part of human nature.
We all tell lies.
And those of you who
don't... are lying.
(rock intro)
It was summer when
I saw your face
Looked like a
teenage runaway
And God, I never thought
we'd take it that far
Some killer queen you are
Now I'm running
and I can't stop
The beauty of the three-card monte
is that even though
people know it's a scam,
they still play.
Everybody wants to beat the man.
So, who wants to play? Who wants to play?
You can't win if you're not in.
The three-card monte.
Toss the broad, find the lady.
It's a story of two jokers
and a queen.
And it's such a
roller coaster
Some killer queen you are
We took the bones
out from the road
Those endless nights
that we traveled we stole
You let your clothes
fall to the floor
- Hey, man.
- Hey, thanks.
So you know that thing about
your tell? Is that true?
- No, it's all bullshit.
- What about everything else?
Is that what really happened?
Nah.
(chattering)
(pop intro)
WOMAN: The look on your face
When you lie is something
kind of beautiful, beautiful
Babe, I get played
Every time you
change your mind
Then I better watch
Mark the space
As something
kind of dangerous
Strange as it seems
Where we lay
Soul to soul, this
love was bound to break
Baby, the day you ran away
Was like a bullet
to my heart
Why do we make
the same mistakes
Every time?
And I know there's
nothing left to say
Somehow we always fall apart
The shining
sparkle fades away
Between you and I
The look on your face
When you lie is something
kind of beautiful, beautiful
Babe, I get played
Every time you
change your mind
Then I better watch
Mark the space
As something
kind of dangerous
Strange as it seems
Where we lay
Soul to soul, this
love was bound to break
'Cause, baby, the
day you ran away
Was like a bullet
to my heart
Why do we make
the same mistakes
Every time?
And I know there's
nothing left to say
Somehow we always fall apart
The shining
sparkle fades away
Between you and I
If the truth isn't true
An idea is something
that you'd like me to
Like to believe
But I don't
When does love become
a state of war?
Cross the fire, little liar
Something creatin' hate
in what we used to adore
We collide
And I can't even
look you in the eye
'Cause, baby, the
day you ran away
Was like a bullet
to my heart
Why do we make
the same mistakes
Every time?
And I know there's
nothing left to say
Somehow we always fall apart
The shining
sparkle fades away
Between you and I
The shining
sparkle fades away
Between you and I
Between you and I
The shining
sparkle fades away
Between you and I