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Sun Choke (2015)
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Do you know what day it is? Yes. - What month? What year? - Yes. - I want you to color the flowers in. 50 that none of them look exactly the same. The petals can either be... - I remember. - Good. But how can I know for sure? - Four purple flowers' Four green flowers. Blue centers on two purple flowers. Two green. Purple centers on two purple, two green. - Purple and green what? - Flowers. Green Eaves on four... The four flowers with purple centers. Blue leaves on the other four. - That's good. Now can you show me' - I know these tests were made for children. - That doesn't mean they're not useful. I know this all seems easy to you now, but it hasn't always been' And it may not always be' And that doesn't mean you don't have to show me. Tell me what you see' - The water. - Where is the water? - The ocean. - Are you standing on a beach? - Yes. - Is the sand warm? - Yes. - How about the water? - I don't know. - Go to the water. - I can't. - Why not? - There's broken glass in the sand. - I want you to use the sand to cover up the glass, and make yourself a path to the ocean. When your feet touch the water, you will raise your right hand. Sleep' I think you need to clear your mind. - I'm sorry' See? I stopped' - Focus on your body and your breath. Focus on your balance' Know that if you stay focused, you won't fall' If you fall, we start all over again. Janie? You look dehydrated' - Thank you' - That's good. It's easy to forget how much water our body needs' Just a little more now. - Thank you' - Your father called this morning. He didn't want me to wake you. - What he say? - Well, there's good news and bad news. - Okay. - The bad news is, he may have to stay in Tokyo a few months more. "And? - And... I told him how well you've been doing. And he wonders if maybe you're ready to start spending some time out of the house. - Really? - Only if you feel ready' - I do. - Good. It's good to see you smile. - How long do I get to go for? - Lets start with a few hours. - What should I do? - Anything you want. This time, is your time. Are you sure you're ready? Who do you see? - I see me. - Are you all right? Oh' Step back, this way. You should be more careful. There are a lot of ways this world can hurt you. - One hour and seventeen minutes late. - I know. I'm sorry' I lost track' - I didn't call to remind you, because I'd like to treat you as an adult. But keep an eye on the time. And call me if you're going to be late. - Okay. - Now... tell me about your day' - I don't hear anything. - Maybe it stopped' - Well, it's a big house. Water runs even when you're not using it. - It's never happened before' - I'm sure it has. You just never noticed. - How am I suppose to sleep? - Well, it's stopped now, hasn't it? - But what if it starts again? - Hello? Are you okay? Are you okay? - This is embarrassing. I'm picking up a friend to go to the airport and... I got here early. - Oh, okay' - I must've fallen asleep' - I was just checking. - Yup. No worries. - Have we met before? - I don't think so. - You just look really familiar. That's me. I'm Savannah by the way' - Margo. - You're just in time. - I can explain' - I know. - I would've called but, my phone ran out of batteries. - It's not a punishment' The rules were put in place for your protection, little girl. Everything we do, we do for you to get better. - I know, but... - And you'll feel so much better after. All the way down' Just try to relax' Remember, the more you fight it, the more it's going to hurt. But when it's over, you'll be that much closer to you again. Now open' How are you feeling today? - Better, thank you' - I'm so glad. You do understand, don't you? Why I take your well being so seriously. Why we do the things that we do. When your mother died, I made a promise to your father. That promise means I'm going to spend the rest of my life worrying about you, and caring for you. Whether either one of us likes it or not. - Hello? - Hello? - Hello? Hello? Hello? - Re-center, and start again. - God damn it! - Re-center And start again. - Just leave me alone for a minute. - I'm worried that you're not taking proper care of yourself' - I'm fine. - There's a difference in you. - I'm getting better. - Of course you are' And I know it can't be easy. - You don't know anything. - I just want what's best for you, little girl. - You just want... you just want. - Calm down. I'm right here with you. - You're not my mother You're the fucking house keeper. - Now you're just being hateful. - That's because I hate you. Little girls, and little girls, and... - I don't know why you put yourself through this. - Little girls. - You don't remember? This is how it starts. - Little girls, little girls, little girls are all fucking hateful. - This is what you want? You get this way and you don't leave many choices' What Tm suppose to do now is call the police. Do you know what will happen then? Do you remember? You wouldn't rather stay here? In your home' Where people love you' We've come to close to losing you. Too many times' From your first moment till now. I've seen every version of you. You can be well if you want to. That's it. Come here' Come to me. Stop fighting. You know how to make it stop. But you need to give yourself permission. - Shut up, bitch' Shut the fuck up' Shut up' I'll cut your god damn cunt open. Is that what you like? Huh? Come here' That's what you like' Here you go. I'm gonna beat you bad. Hurt you' - Sun choke. Now clean this mess up' - Shit. - I mean, nothing's been stolen, but someone has definitely been in my house. - No one's in the house now? - I mean, you can't really see now, but this was foggy. Like someone had been using my shower. - What's out that door? - It's a balcony. - Well, I think the place is clear. Let's go, I'll get your report down, and figure out the best way to proceed to ensure that this doesn't happen again. - Okay. - Can I help you? - Settle down. Settle down' Because you've proven you can't be trusted, because you choose to trample all over the rules you agreed to. The collar you're wearing was designed for a dog, because that's how you force me to treat you. If you go beyond a certain perimeter around the house, you get a shock. It's simple enough for a dog to understand, but you can test it if you don't believe me. There are three levels. One. Two. - Please stop' - If you go beyond the boundary, it goes straight to three. Would you like to see what that feels like? Your father is going to be so disappointed. - You let me talk to him. Then we'll see. - You need to get well, little girl. Now where were you? - Nowhere' - Where were you and who were you with? - Nobody' - I saw you' I know what this is about. Do you really want to risk everything we've accomplished in this last year? Are you so desperate to destroy yourself? - It's not what you think' - We'll see. Sit. Don't make this any harder then it already is. And... - This will make you feel better. Be the reflection of the moon over the water. The moon doesn't get wet. And the water is never broken. For all it's vastness, the moon and the entire sky can be reflected in a puddle' Even in a drop of water When you cease to be the water, and become the reflection. You begin to fully realize the limitless. of the light. - What's going on in here? What are you doing? - Nothing. - Come here and let me look at you. Tricky, tricky' You've been busy' - I didn't. - Where's your toy then? Where are you hiding it? All right, you've had your fun. Now give those to me. You use to do the same thing when you were a baby' If you thought something was yours, you wouldn't give it up for anything. You are entitled to absolutely nothing. The only thing standing between you and the abyss, is how much I love you' You know what happens when we run out of options. You think this is the end of anything? You think it'll be any different once I'm gone? Who would you be without me? - My god, what happened? Are you okay? Jesus, Ma- Margo? Do you remember me? Can I take you home? I can come inside, if you don't want to be alone' What is this? What are you doing? Margo, please... - Why are you doing this? I was just trying to help you. Stop - Margo, please. - Good morning, little girl. - Good morning. - Please, I don't want it. Please' I need to go to the bathroom. Will you just tell me what I need to do to make this stop. Please' Just tell me what I did and I'll fix it. What are you gonna do when people find out about this? Huh? What are you gonna do? Don't, please' Please' Please. You can look at me, you know. You could talk to me. I think I understand what you want. And if it's going to make things okay, I want to give It to you. But you have to look at me. You have to come closer. Closer Closer What? I'm sorry' I didn't mean to upset you. Fucking say something to me' - All right. We're almost done. Do you need the paper? No. I can do it. - Good. Lets begin. In futurity... - I prophecy' - That the earth from... - Sleep. - Grade the sentence. - Deep. - Shall arise and... - Seek. - From her maker... - Meek. - And the desert wild... - Become a garden mild. - I'm going to give you a word. And I'd like you to repeat it back to me. I read a poem that reminded me of you. Wadda goda grazes. - Matchbook. That's good. - I read a poem that reminded me of you. Can you ask me the name of the poem. - Ask me the name. You fucking asshole' You motherfuh... I fucking hate this stupid, motherfucking shit. - Now stand. Raise your right arm. Now walk with me. Put your right hand on the wall. Hit the wall with your forehead. - You are better at throwing a javelin discus and shotput. I am the better swimmer. You are better with people. You are taller. You are better making. You are better making. Our names are different. Our faces are different' I like to talk about what it's like at the bottom of the diff. I like to talk about to talk about what it's like on the way down. I was a breech birth. I came out the wrong way. My mother's cervix wasn't dilated enough for my head to pass through. So I got stuck. She wouldn't let me go. Like she knew what would happen when she did. She died less than an hour after I was born. I killed her I wonder sometimes if I meant to. Or would it... How it would've been if it was me. But I know now, that I'm still here because of you. I had to be here for you to find me. No' I know what a difficult position you're in. I know you're afraid' You didn't want or... expect things to turn out this way. But I want to know you too. I know you imagined a thousand versions of us before you finally found me. There's a void in me, that I know exists in you too' An empty space' Where we both belong. Margo' Margo, please' Janie, please' - Janie? Is that your real name? - Sun choke. |
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