Sun Choke (2015)

1
Do you know what day it is?
Yes.
- What month?
What year?
- Yes.
- I want you to
color the flowers in.
50 that none of them look
exactly the same.
The petals can either be...
- I remember.
- Good.
But how can I know for sure?
- Four purple flowers'
Four green flowers.
Blue centers on two
purple flowers.
Two green.
Purple centers on two purple,
two green.
- Purple and green what?
- Flowers.
Green Eaves on four...
The four flowers with
purple centers.
Blue leaves on the other four.
- That's good.
Now can you show me'
- I know these tests
were made for children.
- That doesn't mean
they're not useful.
I know this all
seems easy to you now,
but it hasn't always been'
And it may not always be'
And that doesn't
mean you don't have
to show me.
Tell me what you see'
- The water.
- Where is the water?
- The ocean.
- Are you standing on a beach?
- Yes.
- Is the sand warm?
- Yes.
- How about the water?
- I don't know.
- Go to the water.
- I can't.
- Why not?
- There's broken
glass in the sand.
- I want you to use
the sand to cover
up the glass,
and make yourself a
path to the ocean.
When your feet touch the water,
you will raise your right hand.
Sleep'
I think you need to
clear your mind.
- I'm sorry'
See?
I stopped'
- Focus on your body
and your breath.
Focus on your balance'
Know that if you stay focused,
you won't fall'
If you fall,
we start all over again.
Janie?
You look dehydrated'
- Thank you'
- That's good.
It's easy to forget
how much water
our body needs'
Just a little more now.
- Thank you'
- Your father called
this morning.
He didn't want me to wake you.
- What he say?
- Well, there's good news
and bad news.
- Okay.
- The bad news is, he may have to
stay in Tokyo a few months more.
"And?
- And...
I told him how well
you've been doing.
And he wonders if
maybe you're ready to
start spending some
time out of the house.
- Really?
- Only if you feel ready'
- I do.
- Good.
It's good to see you smile.
- How long do I get to go for?
- Lets start with a few hours.
- What should I do?
- Anything you want.
This time, is your time.
Are you sure you're ready?
Who do you see?
- I see me.
- Are you all right?
Oh'
Step back, this way.
You should be more careful.
There are a lot of ways
this world can hurt you.
- One hour and
seventeen minutes late.
- I know.
I'm sorry'
I lost track'
- I didn't call to remind you,
because I'd like to
treat you as an adult.
But keep an eye on the time.
And call me if
you're going to be late.
- Okay.
- Now...
tell me about your day'
- I don't hear anything.
- Maybe it stopped'
- Well, it's a big house.
Water runs even when
you're not using it.
- It's never happened before'
- I'm sure it has.
You just never noticed.
- How am I suppose to sleep?
- Well, it's
stopped now, hasn't it?
- But what if it starts again?
- Hello?
Are you okay?
Are you okay?
- This is embarrassing.
I'm picking up a friend
to go to the airport and...
I got here early.
- Oh, okay'
- I must've fallen asleep'
- I was just checking.
- Yup.
No worries.
- Have we met before?
- I don't think so.
- You just look really familiar.
That's me.
I'm Savannah by the way'
- Margo.
- You're just in time.
- I can explain'
- I know.
- I would've called but,
my phone ran out of batteries.
- It's not a punishment'
The rules were put
in place for your
protection, little girl.
Everything we do,
we do for you to get better.
- I know, but...
- And you'll feel
so much better after.
All the way down'
Just try to relax'
Remember,
the more you fight it,
the more it's going to hurt.
But when it's over,
you'll be that much
closer to you again.
Now open'
How are you feeling today?
- Better, thank you'
- I'm so glad.
You do understand, don't you?
Why I take your well
being so seriously.
Why we do the things that we do.
When your mother died,
I made a promise to your father.
That promise means
I'm going to spend
the rest of my life
worrying about you,
and caring for you.
Whether either one
of us likes it or not.
- Hello?
- Hello?
- Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
- Re-center,
and start again.
- God damn it!
- Re-center
And start again.
- Just leave me
alone for a minute.
- I'm worried that
you're not taking
proper care of yourself'
- I'm fine.
- There's a difference in you.
- I'm getting better.
- Of course you are'
And I know it can't be easy.
- You don't know anything.
- I just want what's
best for you, little girl.
- You just want...
you just want.
- Calm down.
I'm right here with you.
- You're not my mother
You're the fucking house keeper.
- Now you're just being hateful.
- That's because I hate you.
Little girls, and little girls,
and...
- I don't know why
you put yourself
through this.
- Little girls.
- You don't remember?
This is how it starts.
- Little girls, little girls,
little girls are all
fucking hateful.
- This is what you want?
You get this way and you
don't leave many choices'
What Tm suppose to
do now is call the police.
Do you know what
will happen then?
Do you remember?
You wouldn't rather stay here?
In your home'
Where people love you'
We've come to close
to losing you.
Too many times'
From your first moment till now.
I've seen every version of you.
You can be well if you want to.
That's it.
Come here'
Come to me.
Stop fighting.
You know how to make it stop.
But you need to give
yourself permission.
- Shut up, bitch'
Shut the fuck up'
Shut up'
I'll cut your god damn
cunt open.
Is that what you like?
Huh?
Come here'
That's what you like'
Here you go.
I'm gonna beat you bad.
Hurt you'
- Sun choke.
Now clean this mess up'
- Shit.
- I mean, nothing's been stolen,
but someone has
definitely been in my house.
- No one's in the house now?
- I mean, you can't
really see now,
but this was foggy.
Like someone had been
using my shower.
- What's out that door?
- It's a balcony.
- Well, I think the
place is clear.
Let's go,
I'll get your report down,
and figure out the
best way to proceed to
ensure that this
doesn't happen again.
- Okay.
- Can I help you?
- Settle down.
Settle down'
Because you've proven
you can't be trusted,
because you choose to trample
all over the rules
you agreed to.
The collar you're wearing
was designed for a dog,
because that's how
you force me to treat you.
If you go beyond a certain
perimeter around the house,
you get a shock.
It's simple enough for
a dog to understand,
but you can test it
if you don't believe me.
There are three levels.
One.
Two.
- Please stop'
- If you go beyond the boundary,
it goes straight to three.
Would you like to
see what that feels like?
Your father is going to
be so disappointed.
- You let me talk to him.
Then we'll see.
- You need to get well,
little girl.
Now where were you?
- Nowhere'
- Where were you
and who were you with?
- Nobody'
- I saw you'
I know what this is about.
Do you really want
to risk everything
we've accomplished
in this last year?
Are you so desperate
to destroy yourself?
- It's not what you think'
- We'll see.
Sit.
Don't make this any
harder then it already is.
And...
- This will make
you feel better.
Be the reflection of the
moon over the water.
The moon doesn't get wet.
And the water is never broken.
For all it's vastness,
the moon and the
entire sky can be
reflected in a puddle'
Even in a drop of water
When you cease to be the water,
and become the reflection.
You begin to fully realize the
limitless. of the light.
- What's going on in here?
What are you doing?
- Nothing.
- Come here and let
me look at you.
Tricky, tricky'
You've been busy'
- I didn't.
- Where's your toy then?
Where are you hiding it?
All right, you've had your fun.
Now give those to me.
You use to do the
same thing when
you were a baby'
If you thought
something was yours,
you wouldn't give it
up for anything.
You are entitled to
absolutely nothing.
The only thing standing
between you and the abyss,
is how much I love you'
You know what happens when
we run out of options.
You think this is the
end of anything?
You think it'll be
any different once I'm gone?
Who would you be without me?
- My god, what happened?
Are you okay?
Jesus, Ma-
Margo?
Do you remember me?
Can I take you home?
I can come inside,
if you don't want to be alone'
What is this?
What are you doing?
Margo, please...
- Why are you doing this?
I was just trying to help you.
Stop
- Margo, please.
- Good morning, little girl.
- Good morning.
- Please, I don't want it.
Please'
I need to go to the bathroom.
Will you just tell me what
I need to do to make this stop.
Please'
Just tell me what
I did and I'll fix it.
What are you gonna
do when people
find out about this?
Huh?
What are you gonna do?
Don't, please'
Please'
Please.
You can look at me, you know.
You could talk to me.
I think I understand
what you want.
And if it's going to
make things okay,
I want to give It to you.
But you have to look at me.
You have to come closer.
Closer
Closer
What?
I'm sorry'
I didn't mean to upset you.
Fucking say something to me'
- All right.
We're almost done.
Do you need the paper?
No.
I can do it.
- Good.
Lets begin.
In futurity...
- I prophecy'
- That the earth from...
- Sleep.
- Grade the sentence.
- Deep.
- Shall arise and...
- Seek.
- From her maker...
- Meek.
- And the desert wild...
- Become a garden mild.
- I'm going to give you a word.
And I'd like you to
repeat it back to me.
I read a poem
that reminded me of you.
Wadda goda grazes.
- Matchbook.
That's good.
- I read a poem
that reminded me of you.
Can you ask me the
name of the poem.
- Ask me the name.
You fucking asshole'
You motherfuh...
I fucking hate this stupid,
motherfucking shit.
- Now stand.
Raise your right arm.
Now walk with me.
Put your right hand on the wall.
Hit the wall with your forehead.
- You are better at
throwing a javelin
discus and shotput.
I am the better swimmer.
You are better with people.
You are taller.
You are better making.
You are better making.
Our names are different.
Our faces are different'
I like to talk about
what it's like at the
bottom of the diff.
I like to talk about
to talk about what
it's like on the way down.
I was a breech birth.
I came out the wrong way.
My mother's cervix
wasn't dilated enough
for my head to pass through.
So I got stuck.
She wouldn't let me go.
Like she knew what would
happen when she did.
She died less than
an hour after I was born.
I killed her
I wonder sometimes
if I meant to.
Or would it...
How it would've
been if it was me.
But I know now,
that I'm still here
because of you.
I had to be here for
you to find me.
No'
I know what a difficult
position you're in.
I know you're afraid'
You didn't want or...
expect things to
turn out this way.
But I want to know you too.
I know you imagined
a thousand versions
of us before you
finally found me.
There's a void in me,
that I know exists
in you too'
An empty space'
Where we both belong.
Margo'
Margo, please'
Janie, please'
- Janie?
Is that your real name?
- Sun choke.