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Sundowners (2017)
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[Romantic music plays] [Romantic music plays] [Shutter clicks] [Shutter clicks] [Shutter clicks] [Shutter clicks] [Shutter clicks repeatedly] [Shutter clicks repeatedly] [Guests applauding and cheering] [Guests applauding and cheering] [Rock music plays] [Rock music plays] Hey! What, are you leaving already, man? What the dick? Yeah, I'm just packing up. RANDY: No, no, no. It's an open bar, man! We're drinkin' tonight! We're gettin' wasted, come on! No, I'm gonna head home. I'm out. Look, I already did four shots, plus the beers in the car, plus I'm drinking red wine now! Look, the groom wants us to do shots with him! He just said, 'Come get, uh... the other guy, we'll do shots.' He'll be disappointed. See, the other guy, he doesn't even know my name. We're not part of this, Randy. I'm gonna go. No, we're part of this magic, man. We've captured the history on the camera. Maybe we can grab a beer next week. [Car door slams] [Car starts] [Music plays on radio] On the track with the wind at my back Move slow like a heart attack Like I feel it creeping like I'm six feet deep And all I wanna do is sleep And I don't wanna win anything Every race will end I don't wanna win anything Every race will end KID ON TV: I always go to school! MAN ON TV: I don't like what I'm hearing from you! You know, you're starting to sound like one of those kids they do after-school specials about! [Alex laughs] [Laugh track on TV] KID ON TV: Oh, Dad, come on! I really think you take-- [TV playing quietly] JUSTIN: I gotta go. I'm running late already, so I gotta go. Um... Go to bed, okay? How's school? You studying for all your exams? JUSTIN: Yeah, um, school's great. School's really great. I'm doing really well. The professors really like me. I'm on the... I'm on the Dean's list. I have a big exam in computer, uh, internet... theory, and I think I'm gonna do really well. And, uh, very popular. Why you sweeping? Stop-- stop sweeping. It's okay. You can stop sweeping. That's okay, I'll do it. When will Linda be home from work? Aunt Linda's been dead for 20 years, Grandma, remember? GRANDMA: Oh, yes. JUSTIN: Remember? GRANDMA: Right. JUSTIN: Okay. GRANDMA: What a shame. I'm sorry, I'm very late, okay? GRANDMA: That's a shame. Um... Selena will be here in the morning for you, okay? GRANDMA: Mmm. Okay, I really gotta go. I'm late, I'm sorry. I love you, okay? [Keyboard clicks] [Music plays on video] Ah, I've seen enough. All right, you want my honest opinion? It's got some... some chiselling to do. It's long. God, I wonder if we can... rotoscope out some of those, uh... Christmas lights you see in the background, and change their, uh, intensity. I kinda thought we were at the... TOM: Right. Because I did the notes before, I thought this was-- TOM: Well, listen, the point is, I think it's in a great place. As far as a rough cut goes, I think we're in good shape. I'm very happy. ALEX: Yeah... Cool. I'm thrilled. I'm absolutely thrilled. And I know the client's gonna be over the moon. They're not even gonna notice some of that stuff I'm talking about. But I'm talking about stuff that's gonna make it better for us, 'cause we're the ones, we gotta live with it. Right? We have to live with this. We gotta sleep at night. [Sighs heavily] Ooh, boy... I wanted to ask you-- sorry, before... So, um, you said that I would get... you could give me the... the money. I did the-- like, just the rental of the equipment and stuff like that for this. Alex, we need to have a talk. We gotta re-think things, me and you. Will I get paid today? You wanna talk business? You wanna talk money? You wanna get into it? ALEX: I would just like to know-- Let's talk in my office. This is the creative zone. This is the editing suite. This is the post house. I need you... on this side of the table. I don't mix business and pleasure. [Alex sighs] TOM: [Singing] Don't mix business with pleasure... Don't mix... Sorry, I gotta get this down. Yes, I don't mix... D... A... Of course it's an A. Rock n' roll key. [Strums guitar] Don't mix business and pleasure Go down... Don't mix business and pleasure [Guitar solo] [Guitar solo] Don't mix... Whoa, kinda bluesy, swampy. ALEX: Yeah. Swampy... boo--m boo--m [Taps guitar] Don't mix business And pleasure, mmm... Yeah, so if we could-- [Tom strums guitar] Don't mix business and... All right. Let's have... [Clears throat] Let's have the talk, all right? ALEX: Mhmm. TOM: Business sucks, all right? This business is crumbling. People are gettin' divorced, there's not as many weddings, people are waiting... There's these kids comin' outta high school, takin' iPhones, and goin' there and shootin' 'em for 500 bucks! I mean, that's putting us out of business. They're undercutting what we do. I mean, how am I supposed to survive on that? Yeah, 'cause I'm actually really struggling financially too, I-- We're all struggling, trust me. ALEX: I just have to pay my rent. Believe me, we're all in the same boat. But there are things happening you don't even know. There's things in the works. I'm making deals, I got phone calls to make. When I ask you to step up to the plate, I expect you to swing. And not say, 'Can I get my, uh, two dollars now?' What are you, the paper boy? Grow some balls! ALEX: I-I just-- TOM: I thought we were here to play the big game! I know that clients pay you, though, and if I could just get-- Listen, we got operating costs you have no idea about, okay? ALEX: Yeah. What it takes to make this thing run is way above your pay grade, my friend! Because today, if you said I'd drop off the video, then you said I would pick up a cheque. No, I did not say that. You're putting words in my mouth. How dare you do that? ALEX: Well, you said I'd get paid. Yeah, you will get paid. I'm about to pay you in some information, okay? Mexico! M-Mexico? [Imitating Alex] 'Huh? Huh?' 'Mexico? What? Mexico?' ALEX: I don't know what you... TOM: What do think I mean? What business are we in? We make wedding videos! ALEX: Yeah. I'm sending you to Mexico for a destination wedding! Oh, cool. TOM: Yeah, I got it all set up. ALEX: Oh... This guy Mike, he's paying for you to come down to San Gran Domin... Well, how much is he paying-- TOM: Gran Domingo Mexico. How much is he paying me? He's paying for the whole deal! He's got the airfare taken care of, the hotels-- and these hotels, I'm tellin' you, all the accommodations are paid for, you get free drinks, free meals. ALEX: Wow. TOM: Because what we're gonna do is make the best wedding video that's ever been made. A insane, beautiful, sexy video. We're gonna use it as a demo. That's what we're gonna push out there, that's what's gonna put us back on top, 'cause we're gonna be the guys that know how to go down to Mexico, down to wherever, down to these destination weddings, and make it happen! ALEX: Okay. TOM: All right? ALEX: Yeah. In terms of photographers... who are you thinkin' of bringing, Randy? ALEX: Uh... Randy's fine. Randy's probably my best friend. We grew up together. He was there when I broke my neck. ALEX: He seems... nice. TOM: Yeah. He's too old-school, man. We need some new dogs. I wanna get somebody in there that's comin' from the underground, somebody really out there, someone insane. ALEX: I know a guy. TOM: Black guy? He's... he's white, but he's got a real urban vibe. Absolutely, sir, I can definitely help you with that! It'll just be one moment while I make that change. Can I place you hold? Okay. [Whispers] Oh, I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't-- You can do this, you can do this, you can do this, you can do this, you can do this, okay, yes, okay, yes, okay, yes, it's all good, it's all good... Okay, I've made that change! Is there anything else I can help you with? Okay, have a good one. Okay, buh-bye. [Cell phone buzzes] Yo. Hey, do you wanna go to Mexico next week? [Laughs] What? What are you talking about? ALEX: I'm shooting a wedding. I get to pick my own photographer. Yeah, so what? We should do it. Let's do it! JUSTIN: What, you want... you want me to be the photographer? Yes, obviously. Obviously? Is it obvious? I don't know anything about photography. I've never even Instagrammed anything. Everybody Instagrams. My mom has an Instagram account. She has a bunch of followers. I think Instagram might even be over, actually, is it over? I think I might've missed the boat on that. Oh, shit! Hello? Hello? [Keyboard clicking] JUSTIN: Hey. Hi. JENNA: Hey! JUSTIN: Hi. How's it goin'? Good. JENNA: Nice to see you. How you been? Good, good. [Clears throat] How have you been? Pretty good. JUSTIN: Good. JENNA: Yeah. JUSTIN: Just getting home. Uh, what are you doing here? JENNA: From work? JUSTIN: Yeah. JENNA: How was it? Shitty. [Jenna laughs] JUSTIN: Do you wanna come in? Uh, no. You sure? JENNA: Yeah, that's cool. What are you-- you sure? JENNA: Yeah. I have to be on my way--- JUSTIN: You don't wanna come in and say hi to Grandma or something? She's probably sleeping, actually, but she probably would like to see you. JENNA: No. We could wake her up and have a party or something. [Laughs] How is she? She's good. She's fine. She's, uh... same old. You know, she's... JENNA: Yeah. It is what it is. What are you doing? What's... what's new? JENNA: Not a whole lot. I've been going to the aquarium a lot. JUSTIN: Oh, really? JENNA: Yeah. What's in the aquarium? Just like, bottom-feeding, like, starfish and stuff? JENNA: Horseshoe crabs, and-- JUSTIN: Horseshoe crabs? JENNA: Yeah... Do you know anything about horseshoe crabs? No. It's, like, there's a female one, and the female ones are massive... JUSTIN: Oh, okay. And then the male ones are tiny, and the male ones just like-- they're like, billions of years-- maybe millions, I don't know how old. Wait, are you just talking about, like, the seafood section at the grocery store? JENNA: No, there's... [Both laugh] You should go! JUSTIN: Sure. Horseshoe crabs. You can touch them and stuff. It's really cool. Yeah, I'm probably not gonna do that, but cool. JENNA: Well, whatever. It's expensive, but if you can, like, find a kid to go with... JUSTIN: Oh... huh. Find a kid to go with? JENNA: Yeah, find a kid to go with. Like, do you have any young friends? Oh, no, but I pick up kids all the time. [Both laugh] JENNA: Um... great. JUSTIN: It's easy for me. Uh, I had an abortion, too. Oh. Hmm. It was really... JUSTIN: Oh. JENNA: Yeah. Wait... for real? Yes, yeah. Like... Oh. Oh! Okay... what? I should've prefaced that differently. Yeah, you could've prefaced that in many other ways. You could've dropped that right away, perhaps. You could've, uh, called me and said, 'Hey, I'm pregnant, but I'm gonna get rid of... it.' We-- it was after we broke up, so... Yeah, but still, you could've, like, told me, and involved me in any-- even, like, a minimal way, instead of coming here and just telling me that. Like... What, like, text you? JUSTIN: Yeah. That would've-- one, you could've said like, two words, or an emoji, or something. 'I know we just had a really painful breakup, but, like, I'm pregnant.' Yeah, that would've been nice! JENNA: Why? That would've been nice? That would've been nicer than this. What are you doing here? JENNA: Um, it was $700. I figured you could pay for half of it, just 'cause, you know, we always went halvsies on... JUSTIN: Well, I have a-- yeah, I have a $350 bill in my wallet that I carry around just for this kind of thing, so I mean, it's like kind of everyday occurrence for me... You're being such a dick. You're being such a dick. I know, I'm sorry. It's 10-- here's $10. I'll email you the rest. I'm... Yeah, that's fine. Just... We could've talked. I mean, I just would've liked to have talked about it, before... before you just did it. I mean, but... I get it. So that we could... JUSTIN: No, I know. ...mend our flawed and broken relationship, and stay together for... a child? Yeah, but I mean, like, people do that. People figure it out, people figure out... It would've been... It would've been nice to... to... I don't know... be together, and have... have good jobs, and, you know, be actually able to raise a human together, but obviously... sometimes things don't work out like that. Yeah. I get it, yeah. But thank you for the... JUSTIN: Yeah. ...for your share of it, because, you know... Well, thanks for the news. Are you okay, though? Yeah. Okay. JENNA: Okay. I'll go, but... JUSTIN: Okay. JENNA: See 'ya. [Justin sighs heavily] [Unlocks door] [Keyboard clicking] This is very good. These are really good shots. [Whistles] We got lucky with this one. I knew it, I had a feeling. ALEX: Yeah, yeah. Once you brought up his name, I told him a funny joke, I said, 'Well, "just in time"-- we got him "Justin" time.' ALEX: Yeah. [Chuckles] JUSTIN: Sounds good. ALEX: Killer Tom's got a lot of those. JUSTIN: That's great. ALEX: Yeah. TOM: And you're up for doing wedding photography? It seems a little below your pay grade, am I wrong? Oh, well... I mean, Alex called in a favour, it's just kind of a one-time thing for me, but... Oh, well, we're happy to have you, and as far as I'm considered, he's hired. ALEX: Oh, that's great. JUSTIN: Thank you. Let's celebrate. ALEX: All right. Hey, hon? Can we get a magnum of champagne down here to toast? Just a sec... Hon? Hello? TOM'S WIFE: Yes? Hi, can you bring down some champagne and some flutes? TOM'S WIFE: Oh yes, honey, I'll bring that down. Just as soon as I get finished doing every fucking thing around here! You want something from the kitchen? Get off your lazy goddamn ass and get it yourself! And don't you dare fucking drink the kids' juice again! [Sighs] Gentlemen... this is how you talk to a woman. Hey, bitch! When I tell you to bring champagne and flutes down here, you skip to it! Let's go! The button wasn't pressed on that last one. I don't have to press the button to talk to her. She heard me. Stop meddling, you don't know how this machine works, it's very complicated, it's got Bluetooth. So, um... can we get the details of the trip? Yes. You boys are leaving Monday. You land in Me-hico, and it's all accommodations accounted for, and it's party time USA, Mexico style. ALEX: That sounds great. Yeah, that sounds great, man. You guys are gonna have so much fun. Ah, I wish I was goin' with you! ALEX: Does it, um... Ohhhhh! I wish I was going with you! Ohhhhh. Blah! Sucks, doesn't it? Three amigos, headin' down there, ready to raise hell. That would've been very fun. It would be classic, us three. Oh, I was down there about 10 years ago, on my own. [Sighs] I had a bit of a lost weekend down there. I had a couple days at the resort just boozin' it up, and then one night I went into town, and my cab driver's sittin' at a stoplight, and he has a heart attack, or some kind of brain embolism. ALEX: Wow. And, uh, he passes away, and I get out of the taxicab, and push him out onto the street, 'cause I gotta get back to the resort. ALEX: Yeah... And I'm driving back, I don't where the hell I'm goin', I can't see anything, the roads are all dark, I can't get the headlights to work... and I hit something, some kinda chicken, or little Mexican kid or somethin' trying to cross the road, and, uh... pfffft! They said, you know, 'Stay out.' But otherwise I'd be down there with you guys, poundin' pussy. A reflector, so we can get some even light on that bride. You've used these before, right? JUSTIN: Uh... ALEX: Yeah. TOM: Fuck, open! ALEX: Justin has. JUSTIN: I mean, my assistant usually'll-- will take care of that, but... ALEX: Alright. TOM: Perfect. ALEX: Yeah. See how that-- look what that does to me. Look at that. Look at that. ALEX: Wow. TOM: Isn't that somethin'? ALEX: Yeah, you have a great-- TOM: Now close it back up. You have a great hue. There. Take it, take it. Oh, I almost forgot something. Because I love you... Here. Take these. Get outta here before the wife sees you, let's go. JUSTIN: All right. TOM: Have a good one! [Justin laughs] ['Friends' sitcom plays] [Cell phone buzzes] Hello? Hey, hey, yeah, so the airline fucked up, and the flight is tonight. So don't worry, you got plenty of time, but you-- you should get goin'. Jesus Christ! Uh... Okay, yeah, I'm on it, I'm on it. Unbelievable! [Airport patrons chattering] [Justin groans] How could you get the date wrong? ALEX: It's on Tom. He fucked everything up. JUSTIN: [Yawns] I am so tired. ALEX: Oh, so am I. Oh, when you called me I was in bed, binge-watching 'Friends,' eating cookies, wrapped up in a blanket, like a little baby swaddled in a burrito. I was so warm. I was watching 'And Here We Are Now.' Is my cameo appearance still terrible? The whole thing is... so bad. It's like, did I ever have any potential? Hey, we have a stopover in New York. How long do we get there? ALEX: Oh, the stopover. JUSTIN: Yeah. Well, it's short enough that we don't get to enjoy New York City, yet long enough to sit in an airport and really wish that we were. Great. We should probably go check in, right? ALEX: All right. ALEX: You ready? I'm actually really excited. ALEX: Yeah, I Wikipedia'd it. I know everything about this city. Ask me anything. JUSTIN: You know everything? ALEX: Anything, ask me anything. JUSTIN: Did, uh... I heard Frank Sinatra actually wrote 'New York, New York' about Wichita, Kansas, and then just swapped New York in. Is that true? ALEX: That's ridiculous. JUSTIN: Huh. ALEX: Ask me somethin' else. JUSTIN: Uh... How tall is, um... the Eiffel Tow-- how tall is the Empire State Building? ALEX: Were you gonna say 'Eiffel Tower'? JUSTIN: Yeah. ALEX: Okay, good. Empire State Building? JUSTIN: [Singing 'New York, New York'] Do you feel the magic? ALEX: Hey, Wichita! JUSTIN: Wichita! [Laughs] [Airport patrons chattering] I watched that photography tutorial DVD on the plane. Yeah? Did it make sense? Yeah, it seems easy enough. It's not hard at all, man. Speaking of which, are you planning on getting laid this weekend, or... you know? [Scoffs] Planning? JUSTIN: Yeah. No. I'm hoping. I was reading this book, though, about, um, improving business strategies, and they have this chapter in it, this theory called 'Graduating the Relationship.' Have you heard of that? ALEX: Uh... no. Well, it's like a business strategy. It's about strengthening business relationships, but it's like where you say something... [Laughs] And you're trying to apply it to get laid? JUSTIN: [Laughs] ...only you say something to somebody that you just met that you would normally only say to somebody that you're very comfortable with. Okay. You should apply this this weekend. All right. So I wanna know, how does it-- tell me. Well, like, if we role play-- if we do a little role play, and you're like, an attractive young woman, your name's Alexandria... ALEX: Creative. Yeah? You're in a bar, and you're alone. Why am I alone? You just-- like, you were at home, and you were like, 'You know what, Alexandria, fuck it, I'm gonna go out alone. All my friends are busy. You know what, fuck it, I don't care.' It sounds like I may have Tourette's. So you're at a bar, your name's Alexandra-- Alexand ria -- ALEX: Okay, yeah. And I walk up to you all cool, and I'm like, 'Hey.' Very calm. ALEX: Uh-huh. JUSTIN: How you doin'? ALEX: I'm fine, thank you. JUSTIN: How's your night going? You didn't let me answer the first que-- I'm fine, thank you. JUSTIN: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to jump on your toes there. Hey, I think we should go home and fuck. See, that wouldn't work! You can't just say that to a woman, it's jarring. JUSTIN: No, man, it doesn't-- ALEX: Yes! You just, you drop it in there like really casual. Like, if you don't act like what you're saying is a big deal, then it's not a big deal. It would work. If you said that to somebody that you were in a relationship with, that you wanted to go home and have sex, you would go home and have sex. You would just like-- you bring things to, like, another level, you bring things subconsciously to month three of your relationship. So like, a month after we break up? That's where I wanna approach a woman from? JUSTIN: [Laughs] Yeah. Like, pretend I'm going over to my place to pick up my stuff? JUSTIN: Hey, shouldn't we be boarding now? I think it's like... we should ask... we should be boarding now, I think. Do we even know the gate number? How did you not know the connecting flight was at a different airport? ALEX: Listen, you have all the same information that I have. You know, this is the way Tom operates. It's the reason his business is on the verge of going under. JUSTIN: It's unreal! ALEX: I know! JUSTIN: I'm regretting this whole thing already. ALEX: No, no, no, this is great, man. Before today, we'd never been on a plane! Now we've been on two planes, plus we were in an authentic New York City taxicab. Did you see how many people he almost hit? It was amazing! JUSTIN: Yeah, you're right, we need an attitude adjustment. And check this out, you know how everybody's always saying airplane food is horrible? ALEX: Uh-huh? Well, we don't need to worry about that... We got Doritos, Salt and Vinegar, some Twinkies, Snack Pak. Got you Fruit Roll Ups. Two different kinds of Dunkaroos. You know, I appreciate the gesture, Justin, but this looks like you're trying to seduce an 11 year old. JUSTIN: I mean, we're the envy of everybody on this flight right now. We need to stop talking about how we're losers all the time. We're not losers. ALEX: You're right, we're just not special. JUSTIN: Yeah. ALEX: Completely unexceptional. JUSTIN: Exactly. ALEX: Generally unhappy... Insignificant, unimportant, largely unloved. JUSTIN: Yeah, largely. ALEX: But we're not losers. JUSTIN: No, not losers. MALE VOICE: Viva Mexico! [Airplane roars overhead] JUSTIN: Hey, um, two bottles of tequila. You know it's all-inclusive, right? Yeah, this is Mexico. Anything could happen. ALEX: Yes! Two bottles of tequila, please. TAXI DRIVER: Taxi, hey, taxi! ALEX: There's one. It's hot, man! TAXI DRIVER: Taxi, hey, taxi. Taxi, taxi! ALEX: Yeah, yeah, how much for a taxi? $85. Where are you going, man? Gran Domingo. Yeah, 85, or something. JUSTIN: Or something? Did you hear that? Yeah, you tell him we're gonna walk around, talk to other cab companies. JUSTIN: Okay. We're just gonna walk around, and look for other drivers, other cars. ALEX: He's not deaf. If you leave this place and come back again, this price is raised, man, 150 dollar for you. ALEX: What should I do? I don't know. Just fucking pay him, man. It's so hot. This heat is crazy. Goddammit! TAXI DRIVER: Move your body, man, let's go! Let's go, give me the money! Fuck, man! Move your body, man! ALEX: Wait, shouldn't I pay him afterwards? Just pay him! TAXI DRIVER: Move your body, man! JUSTIN: All right, let's do this. ALEX: 'Move your body! Move your body, man!' [Car door shuts] ALEX: Mexico's crazy, man. What do you mean, there's no reservation? CONCIERGE: Uh, I don't have anything. Alex Hopper, and-- We're here to film the wedding. There's supposed to be some dinner thing tonight! [People chattering and laughing] [People chattering and laughing] Well, who knows how long a taxi will take?! And by the way, when it gets here, we don't even know where we're going! JUSTIN: Why don't you call Tom? ALEX: I called Tom. I left a voicemail! JUSTIN: So call again. ALEX: My battery's running low, I don't want it to die. JUSTIN: This.. this is outrageous! How did he not give us any confirmation? We're idiots! I told everyone at work I was going to Mexico! They were all jealous and shit. You're still in Mexico. [Cell phone buzzes] ALEX: Ah, Tom! [Tattoo gun buzzing] ALEX: Tom? TOM: Dude, what the fuck? ALEX: You're 'what the fuck'-ing me? Where the fuck are you guys? You said Gran Domingo, we're at Gran Domingo! No, I sent you an email. You haven't sent me an email in your life! Whatever. It's Grand Cielo, Cielo. All right? The couple just called me, asking me where the fuck you two were. ALEX: Oh, God. TOM: All right, just-- I told them your plane was late. Just head there now, and don't say that you went to the wrong resort, all right? It makes us look bad. ALEX: Whatever, my phone's about to die, later. All right. See you later, idiot. ALEX: Grand Cielo. JUSTIN: I hope that man dies. Holy shit. ALEX: Wow. JUSTIN: Yeah. ALEX: They don't even have an alarm clock in here. How is that possible? JUSTIN: So book a wake-up call. What time do you wanna wake up tomorrow? Early! Like, 7:30? Seven. JUSTIN: We just need to kick back tonight. ALEX: Yeah, we deserve it, yeah. JENNY: Hey. ALEX: Hey. JENNY: Are you Alex? ALEX: Yes, you must be Jenny. Yeah! I'm so glad to meet you guys. I'm really sorry about the flight delay. ALEX: Yeah, huge delay. Well, this is my fiance, Mike. Thank God you guys are here. I really thought this whole thing was gonna go to shit, and that it would be your fault. Yeah, well, we're here. JENNY: Tom showed me some of the photos and videos that you guys have done. It's great work. I'm really excited to see what you brilliant geniuses come up with. ALEX: Oh, cool, thanks. JUSTIN: Thank you. We're so excited to be here, so thank you for having us. Oh, thank you! Please, you guys are a part of this wedding. Um, make sure you grab a drink. It's all included, so we eat and drink for free. There's massages, you should get a massage, and tennis courts. MIKE: Yeah, get a massage. Yeah, sounds amazing. JENNY: Yeah. Do you know what, actually? MIKE: Hmm? I am gonna go get a drink. JUSTIN: Nice. I'll see you guys in a bit. ALEX: All right. [Loud kisses] JENNY: [Laughs] Okay. How's it goin'? Honestly, I'm really stressed out. I'm terrified right now that she is gonna bail any second. I gotta lock this down. Girls leave right before the wedding. This happens all the time. Does she seem like a leaver to you? JUSTIN: No! ALEX: No, not to me. I'm not gettin' that. I just went bankrupt right before I came here. That just happened, oh my God. ALEX: Money's overrated, right? It feels good saying it for the first time out loud. I feel bloated all the time with fear. I feel like I'm full of a hundred pizzas 24 hours a day. Don't look at me like that! ALEX: You look great. MIKE: I know you're looking at me like, 'Oh, he's not that great looking...' 'He's an 8, she's an 8.5.' Everybody knows it. I can't say it? That's somehow taboo? I don't think it's taboo. JUSTIN: Yeah, I think it's, uh... You really think I look great? Did you see the way she kissed you? She loves you. She's clearly-- that's a woman enamoured with her man. I guess so. Maybe you should just, like, come out and be honest with her, and tell her the whole thing, and you know, just come clean. That's a terrible idea. Especially not now. Yeah, I'm with Mike here, actually. I would definitely-- if you love her like you say you do, I'd definitely wait 'til after the wedding to-- I guess I love her. The groom is crazy! He reminds me of you, actually. What? It just stresses me out being around him! I'm nothing like that. Right, I'm never stressed when I'm around you. Put yourself in his situation, man. He's getting married this weekend; there's a pretty good chance that his bride-to-be could just bail. ALEX: You're right. I don't know what you were thinking. You could've blew the whole thing up, actually. If he told her, there'd be no wedding. We'd have to go home. I don't know, I just have this great personal disappointment when someone else gets married. JUSTIN: Huh. ALEX: It got in the way. Sounds like you've made a great career choice, then. Eight shots of whiskey, please. [Dance music plays] This fuckin' sucks! JUSTIN: It's not that bad, man. I don't know. ALEX: It stinks! JUSTIN: Girls are here... JUSTIN: Let's go talk to 'em. Come on, let's do it. [Sighs] I can't, with the dist-- My game, I have a voice game. I can't, I can't play with... It's all voice, they can't hear me. Just graduate these girls. You don't even need to say that much. Remember what we talked about. Just say a few... advanced words. Come on, let's do it. Oh, that bad idea you had about graduating girls? Come on, let's just go over there and do it! Are we just gonna, like, bicker all night? Or are we gonna... ALEX: I was about to change my mind and go graduate those girls. Fuck it, let's just-- let's just go. Come on. Let's get outta here. ALEX: Are you sure? JUSTIN: Let's just get some goddamn sleep. We have to be up in six hours. ALEX: What if this is it? What if this is the entire trip, is just like a giant snoozefest? JUSTIN: Who cares, man? We get to see the ocean, put our feet in the sand, enjoy this warm weather. ALEX: No, I'm ready for somethin'. I'm ready for anything! Like, doesn't it bother you? Doesn't what bother me? That we're 33, and today was the first time we were on a plane. It's pathetic! There was a baby on the flight. He's already had a more exciting life than us! Yeah... I was gonna say you're being ridiculous, but that's true, the baby's had a better life than both of us. Yeah, I'm just sick of everyone having all the fun and adventure. Well, you have it pretty sweet. You get to go to Mexico for work. I'm a phone jockey. I'm a fake camera jockey. I'm the one who should be pissed off. I don't wanna be a jockey anymore. Yeah, you should be pissed off. We both should be pissed. All right, I'm in. But... we're no good if we're super sleep-deprived and tired this whole time. So let's go to bed right away, recharge, get some sleep, so we can actually have fun tomorrow. Okay, cool, yeah. That makes sense. Let's do it. JUSTIN: All right. I am pretty sure that it was 3... Some... 3 was definitely in it. So I feel like this is probably it. ALEX: 313? JUSTIN: Yeah. ALEX: Yeah, man. JUSTIN: 3... There's two 3's there? Red light. You just said you remembered it 313. Yeah, but 3-- I think it was 4, 3... So you remember a 3 and a 4? So are we on the-- JUSTIN: This is-- it might've been on the... Maybe you remembered it wasn't a 3 or a 4. This feels right. Red light. 325 was the number in your mind? 3-- this-- no, this more. It-- it equalled 9, I remember. ALEX: It equalled 9? JUSTIN: Well, like, 3, plus 2, plus... ALEX: Okay, yeah. JUSTIN: This, uh... This is my lucky number. ALEX: 322 is your lucky number? No, but I'm just trying, 'cause we're doing it all in order. I dunno, whose lucky number is '322'? [Sexual moaning] Definitely someone in there, so that's not our room, probably. Nope, definitely not our room. Let's go walk away from that, fast. ALEX: So sleeping with an ex, it's like... there's a theory that that's the closest you can come to time travel. JUSTIN: That wasn't our room, by the way. ALEX: Oh, okay. JUSTIN: That one's not our room. ALEX: Yeah, keep me posted. [Yelling and loud music] Something's goin' on in there. Someone's getting murdered in there or something. ALEX: It's a scam, so they want all these guys going out and insulting girls. Meanwhile, the pickup artists are the guys that swoop in, and actually are charming, and actually that's why it works. JUSTIN: Dumb dogs live longer than smart dogs. ALEX: You heard that on a TED Talk. JUSTIN: No, it will be a TED Talk, though. ALEX: You had a dumb dog? JUSTIN: I've never had a dog. That's why if you drink earlier in the day, you just don't get hung over, right? Really? Yeah, 'cause you're drinking while you're supposed to be hung over. JUSTIN: Everything's a scam, really. ALEX: You think everything's a scam? Playing catch with a young boy? JUSTIN: How would that be a scam? ALEX: Exactly. Well, I mean, I have friends that they've been with the same girl since they were like, eight years old, or whatever, though. What? You have a friend who's been with the same girl since-- JUSTIN: Well, maybe not eight. ALEX: How old's he now, nine? JUSTIN: [Laughs] Do you have a lot of nine-year-old friends? JUSTIN: Yeah, I mean, I don't know. ALEX: Do you have a nine-year-old friend? JUSTIN: I think if you meet the right person, is all I'm saying, you just know. Like, you just know. It works. No, that's not true. Then how come when you meet the wrong person it takes, like, a year and a half? Oh! You know, I just realized we could've asked someone at the front desk for our room number. ALEX: No! That would've only saved us, like, four hours. That's ridiculous. [Alex snoring] [Alex snoring] [Waves crashing] [Birds chirping] [Waves crashing] [Birds chirping] [Waves crashing] [Birds chirping] [Waves crashing] [Birds chirping] [Speaking Spanish] Uh... Si, si. [Band begins to play] [Singing in Spanish] [Singing in Spanish] [Singing in Spanish] [Singing in Spanish] [Singing in Spanish] Here it goes again You don't know how you don't know when A disappointment to the end Lose it like you lost it then It's through your fingers It's through your toes The feeling lingers You don't see where it go La la La la La la la la la la la la [Birds chirping in distance] [Birds chirping in distance] [Birds chirping in distance] [Woman hoots and people laugh] They never called. JUSTIN: Good. I needed some sleep. Oh, me too, man. I'm wiped. [Sighs] We gotta get up, though. JUSTIN: Oh, yikes! Why is it so blurry? ALEX: No, no, you gotta-- you gotta hold the red dot-- make sure the red dot's on someone's face before you take the picture, right? JUSTIN: Red dot, okay. ALEX: And also, you gotta turn down the aperture. It's all blown out. JUSTIN: The what? ALEX: The aperture, look. Okay, gimme the thing. See, you hit the button before you turn the dial. JUSTIN: Okay, yeah. ALEX: Right, okay, and then make sure the little squares were-- Oh, just like that. JUSTIN: Right, okay, I got it. ALEX: Okay? It's like the tutorial. JUSTIN: I got it, yeah. ALEX: You're not gonna fuck this up, are you? JUSTIN: I don't know what to tell you, pal. ALEX: Okay, look, I'm gonna move around a little bit. You just follow me, tight, okay? JUSTIN: Okay, yeah. Yeah. ALEX: All right? JUSTIN: Yeah. ALEX: Okay. JUSTIN: Yeah, this is good. Good. Keep... keep moving around unexpectedly! This is great. Hey, fellas. Do you want me to take a photo of both of you? Yeah, no, we're cool. I'm just kinda showing him a couple of things. NICK: Oh, okay. Well, for the record, I'm a photographer myself, not a creep, or something. Oh, you're a photographer? Maybe you could actually give me a couple tips, because we're supposed to shoot a wedding tomorrow, and I have no idea what I'm doing. Wait, you're not shooting Mike and Jenny's wedding? The-- yeah, that's the one, but he-- and he's kidding, he knows what he's doing. JUSTIN: Right, I was just kidding. NICK: That's cool, I can help you out. JUSTIN: So what, they hired two photographers, or...? Mm, no, no, no. I'm not working the wedding. I'm the best man at the wedding. ALEX: The best man? JUSTIN: Great. NICK: I'm not gonna rat you guys out. What's the deal? You don't know what you're doing? He knows what he's doing. He's a little in over his head-- All right, maybe I should show you a few things. JUSTIN: How long have you known Mike for? NICK: Since the sixth grade. JUSTIN: Oh, way back. ALEX: Crazy! He was actually a year younger, and he got skipped ahead, and, uh... I thought it would be kind of a good move to align myself with the smart kid, you know? Wow, so he's a genius. Well, I didn't say he was a genius, but... JUSTIN: Wait, he's younger than you? He looks, I don't know, 45. He looks old. NICK: Yep, yep. The last six months have not been good for his body. And his hairline. JUSTIN: Hmm. Yeah, 'cause it looks like he ate a tire. Like, didn't digest it, but just, like, put it inside of him. Yeah, he's not doin' so hot. ALEX: Yeah. He's punching way above his weight class, for sure. He's... Yeah, but he's a nice guy. Jenny is... Jenny is somethin' else. It sounds like you're in love with her, man. Oh, completely. ALEX: Really? Goddamn, man! NICK: I know. [Laughs] How does that happen? I dunno... I always had feelings for Jenny. She was always dating this... this guy Javier, from Venezuela. He was a cool motherfucker. And then they break up, and I turn around, and Mike swooped in. Wow, so it sounds like he's always been a risk-taker. That sucks, man. Yep. ALEX: You should break up the wedding. Stop trying to break up the wedding. No, if he breaks up the wedding during the ceremony, we don't have to go home early, and we don't have to shoot the wedding. Break it up. JUSTIN: That's true, yeah. ALEX: Yeah, break it up. [Nick laughs] JUSTIN: Break it up. ALEX & JUSTIN: Break it up! NICK: Oh, come on, guys. ALEX: Break it up! JUSTIN: [Laughs] Break it up. ALEX: Break it up, man. Mike's a nice guy. He's a doofus, but he's a nice guy. And Jenny... Jenny is... like nothing else. And... they deserve a good wedding. I don't know. Well, you are definitely without a doubt a better man than both of us. NICK: I'll cheers to that. ALEX: Cheers. And in fact, come to think of it... it's not the worst idea in the world. JUSTIN: Let's get rid of this equipment and go back to the beach. That was such a tease. I wanna take my shirt off and be free! ALEX: Yeah, just give me, like, two minutes. [Justin groans] That guy's cool with us, right? ALEX: I hope so, because if he tells the family, we're completely fucked. JUSTIN: No, we have the leverage. If he tells on us, we tell the groom that he's in love with his wife-to-be. ALEX: Ah, I didn't think of that. You're right, we're good. JUSTIN: Yeah. You almost done? ALEX: Yeah, just open up that reflector thing. I wanna see what it does. Try to reflect some light. JUSTIN: All right... Is this doing anything? ALEX: I can't tell. Just pack it up. [Airplane roars overhead] Let me try. JUSTIN: I got it. Oh, let's see. [Airplane roars overhead] JUSTIN: Here, I can... I can do it. JUSTIN: How do you fuckin' do this? Hey, excuse me, do you know how to close one of these things? MAN: Go fuck yourself. ALEX: He seems cool. All right, just bring it back to the room like that. [People shouting] [Airplane roars overhead] JUSTIN: Oh! So this is what it's all about, eh? ALEX: Is it? JUSTIN: don't know. I'm really hot. ALEX: Yeah. I'm hot too, man. Let's go inside. This is crazy. Here, put some of this on my back. What? Just do it. Just do it! ALEX: This is unacceptable. JUSTIN: Get right in there. Ooh, yeah! Hey. MARIA & LOLA: Hello. JUSTIN: How's it goin'? MARIA: Fine. JUSTIN: You guys work for the resort? LOLA: Yeah, we're photographers for the guests. Hey, do you guys know how to close one of those reflector things? The circle where it gets bigger? Yeah. MARIA: It's hard to explain, but it's kind of like... this? Ah, no, I did that! It didn't work. You must've been doing it wrong. ALEX: No, I did it just like that. JUSTIN: It's just like that. It seems easy enough. I did it like that, and it didn't work. JUSTIN: Seems easy enough. [Waves crashing] [Birds chirping] I love Mexico! Well, this isn't really Mexico. Real Mexico is very different. Yeah, man. Yeah, this is like Disneyland. Yeah, it's like, uh... an amusement park or something. You know, Justin is an expert photographer. Very knowledgeable. You guys should, uh, talk shop. Well, I'm not too much a photographer. This is mostly a hobby. Yeah, me too. It's like a hobby thing, so... LOLA: I hate it here. I want to go to New York and be an architect. New York, nice! We were just in New York. Hell of a town. Great town. LOLA: I want to see the snow at Christmastime. Yeah, we just wanted to see the ocean and the sand, and now we're here, and I don't know what to think. ALEX: Hey, girls, if you go to New York, don't go on New Year's Eve. I would say there's two types of people. People that wanna stand around Times Square on New Year's Eve, and the people that aren't fuckin' assholes! That's the two types. Yep. It's a great joke, Alex. You're really good at this. [Laughs] [Volleyball players cheering and clapping] ALEX: You know we're gonna be late for the rehearsal dinner. JUSTIN: Yeah, I know. ALEX: Why didn't you get her info? JUSTIN: Nah. ALEX: She was hot! JUSTIN: It's just better this way. SARAH: Jenny and Mike are so cool, so congratulations to them, 'cause they're so in love, and Mike's the best thing to ever happen to... me and Dad, and he's great, and we love him, and Jenny's come such a long way since being a kid, like from being a wiener kid and a dork, and like, wearing jogging pants... ALEX: [Whispers] Sir? Excuse me. Sir, if you could just move over a little bit, please. Sir! JENNY'S FATHER: [Sighs] Oh, come on! SARAH: And then she met Mike, and now she's so great... [Whispers] Sir, I'm a professional, if you'd just... SARAH: She thought that Frasier Crane and Niles Crane... [Whispers] All right. But I got my eye on you, fucktard! SARAH: Remember that? You thought Frasier and Niles were British! Oh, by the way, this isn't the wedding yet. This is the rehearsal dinner. So rehearsal dinner is, like, the dinner where you get ready to get into wedding mode. It, like, acclimates you to your new, like, wedding environment. Because we don't want all you guys to come down here... [Whispers] Please-- please stop that. SARAH:... your regular, boring, like, miserable life... JUSTIN: Okay, um... let me just... I think it's just, like, a flash thing. I think the flash is just-- Look, you're very hot and sexy, and I want to have sex with you, but you need to level with me. Are you crummy at this? I think I've actually got it figured out now. Problem solved. Good. 'Cause I don't wanna have to tell my dad that he's spending his fortune on some poor photographer who's poor at his art. And then I'd have to be fucking someone that sucks! And that would hurt. Sure, yeah. I'm just gonna go... take some other... How long have you guys been doing this? Yeah, now I basically just kinda do weddings for Tom as a favour. You know, I try to focus most of my attention on my production company. Oh. Yeah, we do commercials, and-- Cool, for who? At the moment, we're doin' a big campaign for, um... Best Buy. JENNY: Wow. When you set the colours, can you make sure that I don't look too pale? ALEX: I can't imagine you looking pale. You're so... photogenic. JENNY: Oh, thank you. [Laughs] I'd marry you. Sorry? In a different-- sorry, like, if this wasn't your wedding. NICK: Eek, eek! [Makes cutting noise] ALEX: You should be... flattered. JENNY: [Laughs] Oh, thank you. Yeah, we're all laughing. We're having a good time. You look like you're working very hard. Oh, yeah, no, I'm just, uh... very happy to be here. Here, here. You take this. JUSTIN: Oh no, no, no, no, no! That's okay, thank you. I'm just doing my job. Just doing my job! That's for having such a hot little mouth. All-- all right. Okay, thank you, thanks. [Jenny's father chuckles] Well, I thought he was very nice. He called me a fucktard! Me! He said I had a hot little mouth. Unbelievable! Yeah, the bride's sister was all over me, too. It's really improving my self-esteem, man. I don't know what's goin' on with this family. ALEX: Oh, God, he's staring at us. JUSTIN: He's staring at you. ALEX: Oh shit, he's comin' over. MIKE: Hey, fellas. JUSTIN & ALEX: Hey. MIKE: Hey, so, um, the other night, I said some stuff to you guys that was a little top secret, a little bit shouldn't talk about. ALEX: Oh-- no? JUSTIN: Oh, we have no memory of that. ALEX: Yeah, we don't know what you're talking about. About me filing for bankruptcy, and being under tax fraud investigation, and pretty much being on the brink of being in jail. Well, we're not... we're not snitches, so you don't need to worry about that. So we could just, like, change the subject. Yeah, change the-- talk about somethin' else, I don't know. It didn't even matter what my scheme was, because I gave money to a guy who just immediately left town. He moved to the next town over. It sounds close. It's far. It's far when you're trying to do legal stuff. Whenever I hear a businessman use the word 'scheme,' I always know that, you know, it's on the level. CONCIERGE: Hi. ALEX: Hi. CONCIERGE: Can I help you? Yeah, we wanna book a wake-up call for tomorrow morning at 5:30. Room 533, please. Very early, huh? ALEX: Yeah, we gotta get up, we gotta film this wedding at, like, an ungodly hour. Oh, I see. Very important. ALEX: Yeah, it's really important. I wasn't gonna bring it up, but we had a wake-up call for this morning, and it never came. So I'm begging you, please, don't mess this call up, okay? It's really important. You know, it's gonna be a big night in Mexico. It's not gonna be like at home, you know, when... say, hypothetically, I just, you know, walk through the door, and immediately strip down, eat a couple pizza pockets. It's not gonna be like that, okay? We're gonna have a big night, we're gonna be drinking... ...and partying. JUSTIN: Partying. ALEX: You know, meeting girls. Maybe a girl named Cindy, okay? Maybe we'll bring her back to the hotel, and she's gone out for the night, because her dad is here, brought her here, he's on an insurance conference, and she feels a little bit neglected. Okay, so she comes back to our place, which is a safe place, we offer her tea, we hold each other. I feel safe for the first time in my entire life. With Cindy. Sir, if it's so important for tomorrow, why not you go to bed early, and get some sleep? Leave Cindy by herself at the bar? We're there to save her. I'm there. He's just kind of along for the ride. I'm in a different hypothetical situation entirely. A more real hypothetical situation. ALEX: You're killing the mood. [Dance music plays] [Dance music plays] JUSTIN: Hey, there's Nick. ALEX: Oh, and Mike. NICK: Hey, guys. ALEX: Hey, Nick. NICK: Ola! JUSTIN: Mike, how you doin', man? MIKE: Drinking away the anxiety. NICK: Woo... MIKE: Hopefully. A lot of babes here tonight, man. Babes? You're into that? You're into babes? Big time. Didn't really peg you as the 'into babes' type. You've got this asexual vibe. I don't really see you as a sexual person at all. Yeah, I don't want you to see me as a sexual person, so that works out well. Photography, that's clearly your hobby, right? That's like, the thing you're doing with your spare time as a side gig? ALEX: Uh... How do you get by, man? I'm doing quite well, you know. Sometimes I cut people a deal if I like them as much as... you and Jenny, and you know, believe in the project. It's good to know about life on the other side. You gotta learn, right? What does that mean, life on the other side? Because you never know when everything's gonna crumble, right? NICK: Man, you're flush! MIKE: Yeah. NICK: You bought me that car. MIKE: No, I'm doing great. NICK: He is a very flush man. You should probably tip them out at the end of this. Things are goin' well... with me. Congrats again, man, on the wedding, and the everything. It's just... Congrats, it's a big day. MIKE: She loves me so much. She must really love you. It's crazy, and I feel like I can't reflect the same amount of love at her. Like, I just don't have it in me! Really? You seem like a loving guy. You got it together, and... It's almost like the less I give her, the more she gives me. It's not fair. It's really an unjust situation, and I don't deserve it, and someone else probably deserves it, but I'm the one getting it! ALEX: I think you're being modest. MIKE: It doesn't make sense! Oh, so you're from England? Well, I've got tons of British friends. Oh, yeah, whereabouts? Uh, London. They all live in London. JESSICA: Oh, yeah? ALEX: Yeah, downtown. JESSICA: Cool. ALEX: Yeah. I'm from London. ALEX: Oh, wow, okay. JESSICA: Yeah. Yeah, from Barnet. Do you know High Barnet? Very well. Yeah, Barnet, great street. So, how's your holiday going? ALEX: I'm actually here for work. JESSICA: Oh no, what do you do? Yeah... uh, filmmaker. Wedding films. That's kinda cool. That's exciting. ALEX: Yeah, it's not. JESSICA: No? No, we say that we're filmmakers, but in actuality, we're not, you know? It's actually kinda depressing. I don't wanna bum you out, but I wish I was dead. You need to get out of your own head, mate. That's a lot. Out of my own head? That's what my tantric sex instructor used to tell me. Right before he started asking me advice on sex. You're so full of shit! [Laughs] That is adorable! I love dogs! That's so cute! How long are you here for? We've been here for five days, and we leave the day after tomorrow. Oh, five days without your little puppy! Is it so lonely? Are you just lonely? It is pretty lonely. [Laughs] Yeah? We should, um... We should get outta here, go somewhere else. I don't know, maybe go fuck or something. What do you think? [Laughs] I don't know. It'd be fun! [Kate laughs] Hey, Jess, what do you think? Do you guys wanna get outta here, too? JESSICA: Oh, you're leaving? We could go make out! Like, we're on vacation, we could totally make out. JESSICA: Um... [Laughs] KATE: Why don't we take a dip? I think the pools are closed, so we could go back to plan A. Yeah, let's go for a swim! Let's go for a swim, a night swim, it sounds fun; that sounds really fun. We'll be quiet and no one will notice, let's go. JESSICA: Let's take a dip. Okay, all right, we're gonna take a dip. JESSICA: Do you wanna come in? I do, I just-- my phone's about to die. JESSICA: [Laughs] Do you need to call someone? ALEX: No, I don't need to call anyone, but I just-- it's like, just a thing. I like to always have it above 50-- JESSICA: What the fuck are you going on about? ALEX: Like... [Jessica laughs] Just the phone, I just... JESSICA: [Laughs] It's okay. Oooh! Jesus, it's cold! It's, like, super cold on my balls. Let yourself get used to it. ALEX: This is like a... I just think you should know that I'm really drunk right now. I just want you to-- JESSICA: What does it matter? Well, I just want you to know that I can't quite see straight, you know, that's just a... JESSICA: You're fine. Do you wanna come over here? Sure. Also, I just want you to know that it's been a while since I've... JESSICA: What's been a while since what? ALEX: Since, like, any type of interaction. JESSICA: What kind of interaction? ALEX: Just like, with this type of inter-- yeah. JESSICA: This kind of interaction? ALEX: Yeah. [Jessica laughs] [Loud splash] ALEX: Jesus! MAN: Oh yeah, I thought I heard another fucking Brit 'round here! Where you from, love? JESSICA: London. Why are you engaging him? MAN: Oi, she can do whatever she wants! Just like we can do whatever we want. [Loud splash] Guys, uh... You're kind of interrupting right now, so if you could kinda back the fuck off! MAN: Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, mate! MAN 2: Back the fuck off? MAN: Back the fuck off, then! MAN 2: Did you just fucking swear at us? I didn't swear. I swore, but it wasn't directly at you. MAN: Yeah, he just fucking swore at us. MAN 2: Come on, love! MAN: You girls are partying with these-- ALEX: It's none of your business. Look, I don't want any trouble. MAN: You know, it's not nice to swear at people you just met for the first time. Okay, look, I don't want any trouble, and if you guys stick around, I'm afraid there's gonna be some trouble, so that's just kind of a... Alex, just shut up, man. Be quiet. MAN: Ooh, is that a threat? Are you threatening us? No, I'm not threatening you. But I feel if you guys just got to know me first, that maybe all this, you know, you might just kind of-- MAN: Get to know you? ALEX: Oh, my phone! Justin, they threw my phone in the pool! Alex, shut up! ALEX: My phone is ruined! My phone is ruined! Alex, will you walk us back? These guys are mental! MAN: Oi, oi, oi! You see this guy here? He's a good guy. And you, you're a fucking asshole! JESSICA: Alex, will you walk us back? MAN: What're you gonna do? ALEX: You want me to walk you to the-- JESSICA: Yeah! MAN: Oh, come on, ladies! MAN 2: Come on, girls! MAN: We're just playing around with your mates! MAN 2: No, oh no, no. MAN: Come on! We're just getting started! MAN 2: Where do you think you're goin', darling? You're gonna go home with this pussy? MAN: Come on, girls, there's nothing goin' on here! Come on, girls! Don't go! JUSTIN: Where the fuck are my pants? MAN: Girls, there's nothin' wrong! JESSICA: Come on, hurry up, Kate! [Man and Man 2 shouting incoherently] ALEX: Come on, let's just really try to go as quick as we can here. [Man and Man 2 shouting incoherently] ALEX: Maybe just run. Where the fuck are my pants? MAN: Hey, girls! Girls! ALEX: Yeah, we should really kinda hurry. MAN & MAN 2: Come back! Come on, girls, come on! We're just playing, come on! ALEX: Let's go, come on! What? MAN: Girls, girls, girls! oi! Hey, get outta the way! What the fuck, girls?! Get the fuck outta there, you fuckin' sluts! MAN 2: Open the fucking door, girls! You fuckin' sluts! MAN: Fucking slags! Come on, girls! These fucking assholes! MAN 2: What's your fucking problem, mate? Where you fucking going? [Man and Man 2 shouting] MAN: What's the fucking problem, mate? MAN 2: You fucking cunt! [Man and Man 2 shouting] [Can clinks onto ground] [Whispers] Justin! Justin?! Oh, shit... [Sighs] [Breathing heavily] [Breathing heavily] Alex? Alex... ALEX: Justin! JUSTIN: Shit! What happened? Where were you? Where were you?! I just got pushed down the hall 30 consecutive times! I needed backup! I can't find my pants. ALEX: Who cares about your pants? My phone's ruined! I need those pants! My wallet's in there, my passport. Your passport? JUSTIN: Yeah, I know. Who carries their passport on them? I don't know, man! We've been drunk for the last 40 hours. We're making bad decisions here, obviously. Why are you loing in the pool? It could've fallen in! I don't know. If it fell in, it's ruined. JUSTIN: Passports are waterproof. Passports are not waterproof. [Justin sighs] Well, this is outrageous! We've been looking here for 40 minutes, and it-- we would've found it by now if it's in here. The water's completely clear. Is this even the right pool? There's like, 50 fuckin' pools. I'm 0% sure this is the right pool. Well, it's not our fault, you know, I mean, they hire some lazy fuckin' architect, he designs 50 identical pools. I'm gonna lodge a complaint! Lodge a complaint? Yeah, look at us. We need to go to bed. We have no idea what time it is without your phone. Well, what do you mean? Where's your phone? It died. I don't know, I forgot the charger at home. Oh, this is great! Who forgets their charger? Who forgets their... watch? You don't even own a watch! Who wears a watch anymore? What is this, 1996? Am I Chandler Bing or something? We're done. We are finished! No, we need to pull this together. Maybe it's better if we don't know what time it is right now. It's gonna fuck with our heads tomorrow if we're aware of how sleep-deprived we are. ALEX: You're right. Yeah, let's just go to bed right away. We have to wake up at 5:30. ALEX: Okay, okay, but no fucking around, okay? That phone call comes in to wake us up, we spring outta bed, spring into action! [Resort guests shouting and chattering outside] Sunny... Sunlight. What the fuck? Fuck! What time is it? ALEX: Motherfucker! JUSTIN: Fuck. JUSTIN: Fuck... Jesus. What time is it right now?! Well, we booked a wake-up call and it never came! Unbelievable! It's 7:30! [Alex knocks on door] You idiots are very lucky that we're already running late! Yeah, it's like an industry standard just to leave a bit of a buffer on the big day. Are you, uh, like, rolling stag to the wedding? Get in there, you fucking idiot! You stay here. Where were you last night? JUSTIN: We just, um... called it a night. We just went to bed real early, and like-- And you still couldn't get out of bed in the morning? I got out of bed fine. It was good. SARAH: You were laying there, thinking about me? JUSTIN: No, no, I wasn't, I wasn't lying in-- You were jerking off! No, I wasn't-- I definitely wasn't jerking off. Yeah, you were in bed and getting here late because you were jerking off and-- I wasn't. I definitely wasn't... Alex! I just need to take some photos of your sister and stuff. Okay, well, get good pictures, and then maybe I'll hire you to do our wedding. JUSTIN: Oh, wait, you're gonna-- you would hire me to film my own wedding? JUSTIN: Man, I don't know what to do. Maybe I should just sleep with her. She sounds completely insane. And you realize that she's graduating you, right? So that's what it feels like, huh? I should probably stop doing that to people. How do the photos look? Good, I think. Pretty good, yeah. I don't really know what I'm talking about at all. ALEX: Yeah, but it looked like you knew what you were doing. Yeah, they were shiny. They were really nice. How's your video? It's good. JUSTIN: Good. Hey, what if I fuck this up? You're not gonna fuck it up. JUSTIN: Can they sue me, though, personally? ALEX: No, I think technically, they could sue Tom. And... then he could sue us. JUSTIN: Sue you. ALEX: Well, he'd sue me, and then I would, like, immediately sue you. JUSTIN: Oh, so I have a two-lawsuit buffer. I'm... okay with that. [Wedding guests chattering] Hey... You don't think Nick's actually gonna do anything, do you? No, no. That would be insane. ['Here Comes the Bride' starts playing] ALEX: [Whispers] Dude! ['Here Comes the Bride' plays] ['Here Comes the Bride' plays] ['Here Comes the Bride' plays] [Jenny laughs] [Shutter clicks repeatedly] You may now kiss the bride. [Applause] [Applause] [Cell phone buzzes] [Guests chattering] Nana is here right now! She's here now! JENNY'S FATHER: Everyone, please, I have an announcement to make! Papa, what's going on? The father of the bride's mother has just arrived. Nana's here? I didn't think she could make it! JENNY'S FATHER: Well, she got here. She's always doing this! She thinks she can just surprise us! JENNY: I think we just have to do it again. You're kidding me! We're not doing it again! JENNY'S FATHER: Just get Nana. MIKE: We've already been married! SARAH: She does this all the time! JENNY: I know we're married. It'll be a fake one. MIKE: We did it, we're married, it's official. [All arguing at once] [All arguing at once] [All arguing at once] Everybody... Everybody! JENNY'S FATHER: But somebody right now has to get Nana! SARAH: Nana's gonna freak out! JENNY'S FATHER: Nana spends her life freaking out! [All shouting at once] [All shouting at once] Everybody shut the fuck up! We're taking this again! Priest, in there. Nick, take back those fuckin' rings. Holy shit, are you doin' this for me? God, no! No, no, Jesus Christ, no! Get over it, it's done! Okay, father of the bride, back to one, it's not your big break. Yeah, back to one, it's not about you today. Jenny, Jenny, back to one, please. Mike, you fucking piece of shit! Wipe that pool of sweat off your face, we're doin' this again! Everybody be quiet! Guitar, not you, I wanna hear some beautiful fuckin' music! JUSTIN: I just want you to know, I really approve of all this cursing. ALEX: Thanks! Take some fucking pictures! Everyone, Nana's here! All right, let's go! Action! [Claps] Yes! ALEX: Whoo! Ohh! Yes! That was amazing! You were amazing. I don't know what got into me, man. It was incredible, you took charge! ALEX: I took charge! JUSTIN: Yeah! The second ceremony was way better than the first. ALEX: Yes! It looked pretty great, right? It looked amazing. I got way better photos. There was way more crying. Now, do you think the crying had anything to do with me cursing at everybody? Yeah, probably, yeah. [Laughs] It got the job done. ALEX: Yeah. JUSTIN: It got the job done! Whew! It got... the job... done. ALEX: Huh. JUSTIN: What? Do you hear anything? No, like what? Oh, my God. There's no... audio. What? The microphone must not have been plugged into the... it wasn't plugged in all the way! JUSTIN: Are you sure? Oh my God! Holy shit! Oh, fuck, I'm ha... I'm having a heart attack! You're not having a heart attack. Justin, I'm having a-- this is real! I'm having a heart attack! Oh my God! You're not having a heart attack! Fuck... ALEX: What are we gonna do? JUSTIN: You have to tell them. Tell them that they have to get married for a third time in the same day? Yeah, there's nothing you can do now, actually. I'll put music throughout the whole thing. What about the vows? Oh, fuck! I don't know, man! I'm freaking out! Oh man! What now? I just realized we haven't eaten anything in like, 40 hours. How can you think about food? JUSTIN: Dude, you fucked up. There's no audio. You fucked it up. There's nothing you can do! Freaking out's not gonna solve anything. Save it in editing, I don't know, you fucked up. Saving it in editing isn't a thing! People say that when they don't know anything about editing! We need to eat something. That's part of the problem. We're not thinking right. We need to go down to that sports bar downstairs, get some burgers, get some beers, some comfort food. We need comfort right now. I'm not fuckin' eating. I can't eat! You can't eat right after you had a heart attack! [Resort guests chattering] [Justin chewing loudly] ALEX: Ugh, Jesus! I wish you eating chicken wings had no audio. Okay, so... according to this dweeb, it's like a figure 8 motion to close the thing, but we totally tried that already. Yeah, it doesn't work. Great. [Burps] Oh man, I don't feel... [Burps] I'm not feeling so... great. Yeah, this is the most depressing moment of my life. [Coughing] [Coughing] [Vomiting] [Coughing] JUSTIN: Oh, man, it must've been that burger. ALEX: Or the chicken wings, or the pizza... or the other burger. It's not funny, man. I really feel fucked up. Oh! Wow, we make a great team. In the last 48 hours, we've spent $200 on a cab fare, we went to the wrong resort, we spent four hours looking for our hotel room, you lost your passport, I ruined my phone, we taped a wedding with no sound, and now apparently you have... barbeque sauce poisoning. You got your ass kicked, too. I didn't get my ass kicked. I got mildly disrespected. [Wedding guests singing and clapping] [Wedding guests singing and clapping] [Wedding guests singing and clapping] Hola, amigo! What's bueno? You look like you've... seen a ghost or something. [Clears throat] I'm just-- I'm just tired. Go get some food, and then come dance with us, man! Hey, was it my fault you didn't say anything at the wedding today? I felt-- I felt terrible. [Sighs] I thought about it, but... I decided against it. I like Jenny and Mike. They're good together. I don't wanna bust that up. I like my life. I hate mine. NICK: Yeah? Alright, no, keep it. Here. NICK: Look, my life is not perfect, but... it's... good enough, you know? I'm in Me-hico, man, I'm on the beach... I'm closer to death right now than I've ever been. That's very wise. We all are. No, I meant me, specifically. Mmm, right. You, um, let me guess... recorded the entire wedding without the audio? ALEX: That motherfucker! You're not the only one who recorded the wedding, remember. It's in the bag, right over there. ALEX: I love you! NICK: Mmm! JUSTIN: What? ALEX: The father of the bride! Yeah, you just said that! What about him? He taped the whole wedding! We can go in and steal the audio from that! Great! What are you gonna do? You gonna talk to him or something? No, he hates me, he loves you! You've gotta talk to him long enough so I can go in the camera bag and steal the card! JUSTIN: Wait, wait! ALEX: It's on the table! JUSTIN: What? [Guests chattering] JUSTIN: So... Let me ask you, um, father of the bride... What do you think is my best quality, I dunno...? [Jenny's father chuckles] Where do I begin? JUSTIN: I don't know, some people say I have really nice... lips. You're dangerous. JUSTIN: Cheers. I mean, if I were to kiss a cocktail napkin and slide it across a bar, it would have sort of a perfect, um, lip imprint, like an emoji. Float off the napkin. So if that's your best quality, what else you got? JUSTIN: Hmm, well... I don't know. Some people say I also have a really perfect sneeze. Like it's a perfect... JENNY'S FATHER: A sneeze? JUSTIN: Mmhmm, it's a very perfect 'achoo.' Achoo... Achoo! JENNY'S FATHER: Oh, yes! I would like to see that! I would... Do you sneeze often? JUSTIN: I feel like we've been talking about me for so long. What's your best quality? I sneeze pretty good too. JUSTIN: Oh, really? JENNY'S FATHER: I have a very generous and explosive, uh, quality to my, uh... spasmodic release. [Chuckles] It's lookin' good. [Audio from wedding plays] I think it's there. I think it's there! [Wedding applause plays] That creepy bastard recorded the whole thing, both ceremonies! JUSTIN: Yes, yes, yes! Yes! Is the quality good enough? ALEX: The quality's mediocre, but it's gonna help! ALEX: Oh my God, I am so exhausted. JUSTIN: [Yawns] Me too. ALEX: Oh... Hi, hola. Yes, hi. I need to make a wake-up call for tomorrow morning at 6:30 am. We have a very early flight. Okay, now, our whole trip, we didn't get any wake-up calls. Too much siesta. Okay, so you'll do it personally? You'll still be at work tomorrow morning? Yes, Justin Brown. They found your passport. Oh, nice. I forgot about that. ALEX: What time is it now, sir? Midnight, shit. Okay. Thank you. Come on, get up, let's hit that disco! JUSTIN: What? Have you lost your mind? We've slept, like, three hours in the last three days, and eaten one meal, which I threw up. Sorry, bud. We're going out. No, I-- I'm sorry. I'm taking a stand here. I feel like I'm-- I feel insane. I feel like I'm gonna die. I'm pretty sure I still have food poisoning. Are you kidding me? Just go out without me. We're in this together. We live and die together! Yeah, and if we go out tonight, we will both die together! We'll both die, dead. It'll be worth it. Let's go, come on! No, I'm honestly, like, 75% asleep already. I'm sorry. I'm done. [Justin sighs] [Scoffs] Really? You realize tomorrow we go back home, and everything goes back to the way it was? [Bottle cap clatters] [Glass thuds] [Glass thuds] You have to change your life. JUSTIN: Listen. [Sighs] I know, we both do, but... we have to get up at 6:30. We have to pack all this shit. Man, my clothes, they're everywhere. Justin, we're in Mexico! You and me, us! We're here... do you realize how insane that is? Was this the goal, Mexico? ALEX: That's not the point, man! We have one more night to live, and you wanna just lie here and waste it? I know, our lives suck. Our lives fucking suck. I get it more than you realize, but... I'm so drunk right now, I'm still drunk, and we have to pack in the morning-- I'll do it. JUSTIN: No. Yeah, I'll pack your stuff right now! JUSTIN: Don't. ALEX: Yes, I'm doin' it! JUSTIN: Don't. ALEX: I'm wasted, and this is happening. Stop. I'm doin' it! It's happening, man! I'm wasted, and it's happening! Get used to it! [Clothes rustling] You're packed! You're packed! Let's go, man! Fuck you! Fuck, man! Fuck. You are so full of shit. I'm full of shit? You're fucking crazy! You're like a fucking crazy person! You sit and whine about your life constantly, and then finally you have a chance to do something about it, and you wanna just lie here in bed and sleep! Do what? What? What do you think is gonna happen tonight? ALEX: The reason you're here is because of me. Oh, well-- We're in Mexico because of me! JUSTIN: Oh, yeah, wow. Thanks so much. Yeah, no appreciation, perfect. No appreciation. Yeah. Oh, great trip, yeah. What do you think is gonna happen, by the way? You think you're gonna go out and meet the love of your life, or get laid, or... what? I don't know what's gonna happen, man, but I know if we just lie here and waste the night, nothing's gonna happen. That's a guarantee. JUSTIN: Fuck... [Justin sighs] Okay, so I guess this is how it ends for us. Oh my God, nothing is ending, and you know it! You're being such a drama queen! ALEX: No, I'm furious! JUSTIN: Oh... Give it to me. [Reflector rustles] ALEX: I don't fuckin' need you! JUSTIN: Give it to me. No, I don't fucking need you! I don't need you! Oh, holy shit! You did it! Yes! Yes, I did it! What do I need to do to prove to you we're on the verge of something? Oh, fine. Fuck it! ALEX: Yes! Let's go! [Dance music plays] [Dance music plays] [Birds chirping] [Resort guests chattering] [Resort guests chattering] [Resort guests chattering] ALEX: Oh... my... God. Hi... Yeah, I was wondering what, um... time it is right now? 8:30! We booked a wake-up call for 6:30! CONCIERGE: I called 10 times, sir. Every single time someone hung up on me. ALEX: You! JUSTIN: [Sleepily] What? ALEX: You've been hanging up the phone every time the wake-up call calls! It's subconscious! it just happens! I can't control it. ALEX: Let's go! Hey, I found this memory card. I think it belongs to the wedding party. JUSTIN: Passport for Justin Brown? Thanks. JUSTIN: I have very little memory of last night. I think I was hallucinating. You know, of all the quirks a human can possibly have, instinctually hanging up a wake-up call has to be the worst. JUSTIN: It's cute. ALEX: It's not cute. JUSTIN: We can still make it. ALEX: Yeah, we'll see. [Keyboard clicking] [Keyboard clicking] Your flight is delayed. You must have very good luck. Boarding is in 25 minutes. Thank God. Hey! Hey, let's... Let's stay. Let's stay. You wanna stay? Yeah, let's not go. Let's stay! Have you completely lost your mind? You gotta eat, man. You gotta eat. Right. Yeah, right, yeah... right. Yeah... hmm. [Clears throat] Goddammit, man. It's just like there's a weight on my chest, like, all the time. You know, like, there's a weight there. Your life's not that bad, man. You take care of your grandma, right? That's a big responsibility. I mean, she's old as shit, and you... uh, you... you got a steady job, right? Where you make an hourly wage! You're gettin' paid every hour! There's so much more-- JUSTIN: I've been drifting for so long, I don't even remember where I wanted to go, you know? And like... I hate it, but the worst part is that... it all fits. Like, I don't want it to, but... it all fits. ALEX: Come on. You should go. You can still make it. You should go. You're being dramatic. JUSTIN: Don't you get it, man? If we go right now, this is it! ALEX: At least this was something. It ain't easy To start off at the back of the line For the come down champion Women ain't that hard to find... [Airport patrons chattering] ALEX: So, uh... JUSTIN: Yep. ALEX: Well, I guess I'll just, like, I'll see you later. JUSTIN: Yeah, sounds good. [Airport patrons chattering] [Airport patrons chattering] [Music plays on video] TOM: Hmm... Yes... Yes, see, that's it! That's it, baby! You son of a bitch! So you like it? I like it? It's a fuckin' hit. It's a fuckin' hit, man! You did it! You saved our ass! Goddammit! What do you think, Rand? RANDY: It's a hit. TOM: It's a hit. Randy loves it. And listen, Randy, he is gonna take you on the road and show you the ropes. You two guys are gonna be the dynamic duo. Batman and Robin, out there shooting every wedding south of the border! Video Boys are back! All right? [Chanting] Video Boys are back, hey! Video Boys are back, come on! BOTH: Video Boys are back! Let's go! Video Boys are back! RANDY: Hooray! Stand up! Be proud of yourself! You did this! You made this, come on! Let's go! TOM & RANDY: Video Boys are back, hooray! TOM: What are you doin'? What are doin'? No, it should be a chant. It's not this dance. RANDY: Sorry, fuck! TOM: Just sit down, sit down. TOM: You know what, go up and get us some brews. RANDY: Yes! Brews! Woo! [Tom exhales loudly] I'm gettin' hot. I need to go jack off. [Muted sound of TV] [Music box plays] [Sighs heavily] [Music box plays] [Muted sound of TV] [Muted sound of TV] [Airplane roars overhead] How was your spec commercial? Ah, it wasn't great, man. I, uh, I cast the whole thing off of Craigslist, and I didn't see the actors first, and... the main guy had, like, chronic hiccups. JUSTIN: Oh. Yeah, like, he hiccupped every, like, four or five seconds. JUSTIN: Oh, no. ALEX: It was crazy, yeah. I didn't know what to do, 'cause I was kinda, like, expecting him to be, like, 'Oh, I have the hiccups.' And he didn't. Did you try and get him to drink water upside down, or...? I was gonna try to scare him or whatever, but it's weird just to, like, scare a grown man. I might have to re-shoot the whole thing. Oh, well, let me know if you need a PA. How you holding up? She lived a good life, you know? BEN: Sorry, guys. I'm... I'm headin' off. JUSTIN: Oh, thanks for coming. BEN: Great to see you. My pleasure. JUSTIN: Um, we're gonna grab a beer, actually, if you wanna join us. Oh, I can't. I've got some homework. I've got class in the morning, so... Oh, since when are you in school? BEN: This year. JUSTIN: Oh, cool. BEN: Video game design. Cool. That's great, very cool. BEN: Yeah, it's... it's been great. Are you doing, like, work and school at the same time? Or how do you make that... how do you make that work? No, I took some time off work. JUSTIN: Okay. Got a loan from the bank, and... Is that hard? BEN: No, it was easy! JUSTIN: Huh. BEN: Weirdly easy. Okay, cool. Jumped on the track With the wind at my back Move slow like a heart attack Like I feel it creeping Like I'm six feet deep And all I wanna do is sleep And I don't wanna win anything Every race will end I don't wanna win anything Every race will end Hold it in... ALEX: I haven't been up this late in so long. JUSTIN: Yeah, I haven't been to an afterhours in ages. Or a bar, for that matter. ALEX: That spec commercial just, like, destroyed my back. JUSTIN: You sound like an old man, like you're 70 years old or something. I feel like that, man. I went from, like, 33 to 70. At least you're doing something. What are you gonna do with the house? You know, she lived her entire life in that house. 85 years. ALEX: Can you imagine? That's pure insanity. Yeah, I know. Think about that... The first day of school, then back to that house. Graduate high school, then back to that house. Lose your virginity, back to that house. Have kids, back to that house. They go to college, you go back-- JUSTIN: They offered me a promotion at work. Team leader, an extra $1.50 an hour. I told them I quit. That's probably the right move. You know, I've actually never seen the sunrise from up here. JUSTIN: Hmm. [Airplane roars overhead] |
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