1
[Ace] From our childhood
homes they take us,
in our innocence, they make us
to march to fight, to hate,
to believe in them,
their games,
their priceless murderous toys.
Their killing fields, sword and
shield, old men who feel no shame.
Their scent is now heroic
and foolish to the flames.
For the sake of naked power,
we dominate the slaughter house,
we die for what's not ours.
Forsaken by his country,
the veteran is empty,
he counts himself a loser,
his friends are all together,
laughing now forever.
The ones we left behind,
tale us down the years,
we'll never let him join them.
Fearless he was then.
They make him the tragic hero.
May it cost the politicians
dear.
[heavy metal music playing]
[clanging]
[roars]
[bones snapping]
[exclaims]
[whipping]
[clanging]
[sword clashing]
[heavy metal music playing
from car stereo]
[laughter]
[indistinct chatter]
Come on, come on, girls.
[all laughing]
[woman] Open it.
After you.
[Charlie] Ooh...
Charlie, this is where you live?
Ah, ever since the owners
invited me in.
Who else is going to be
partying with us tonight?
Just the three of us.
And maybe Sophia might join us
for a little bite.
- Is she your old lady?
- That she is.
But she sure doesn't look it.
Oh, I can't wait to meet her.
Mm, I'm sure
she's gonna like you two.
She's big into boxed lunches,
especially when they belong to
such cute catholic school girls.
I'm quite partial
to them myself.
Well, between the two of us,
I'm sure you'll have plenty.
Let's go downstairs.
Get the railing.
Here, this way.
Ooh...
Is this staircase
making you dizzy too?
- [women exclaiming]
- [Charlie laughing]
Can I use my phone?
[Charlie] I'm right
where you are. [laughs]
Ooh...
Sophia!
Ah, are you home?
We've got company.
You certainly do.
Hello, Charlie.
Mr. Cross.
What brings you
to my humble abode?
Humble, huh?
I like humble.
Burton,
make Charlie comfortable.
[groans]
Hello, girls.
[roars]
[grunts]
Get off of me. You have no
idea who you're messing with.
We know exactly
who we're messing with.
Ace sent me.
What should we do
with these two?
Uh...
Whatever you like.
- They're no concern of ours.
- Oh, goody.
Play time.
Ladies,
let's do a little exploring,
shall we?
[sighing]
[groans]
Please can you let your grip a little
loose? This cross is burning my back.
Oh, poor baby.
[Charlie groans]
Upstairs, ladies.
You guys wanna come?
[squealing]
Now, we can get down
to business.
What do you want?
A certain film
in your possession.
And please, don't act dumb,
even if you are.
[stutters] I don't have it. The movie
was destroyed, all the copies.
Frankie sorted that, okay?
Why don't you talk to him?
We did ask him.
And Frankie was uncooperative.
[Ace]
Outside the society, right?
So we can be safe,
and not noticed.
And now somebody
is screwing that up.
DVD, boy.
- A movie about what?
- About the real vampires.
I catch them in the act.
- What?
- And I taped it in my camera.
He's a real vampire
in action.
I need you to get
all of this shit,
I need everyone of them
back, recalled.
All right?
And recall the guy, too.
- You know what I mean?
- Yes.
Where's the disk, Frankie?
For the last time,
the disk is destroyed.
Why do I know this? 'Cause I'm
the guy that destroyed it.
I took it out of my drawer,
and put it in the fireplace.
And I watched it burn,
sizzle, burn.
- You look terrible.
- It's gone.
Where's the disk, Frankie?
Where's the disk, Frankie?
Where's the disk, Frankie?
- Where's the disk, Frankie?
- Where's the disk, Frankie?
Oh, God,
can you say anything else?
The disk, Frankie,
where is it?
Can you help me to twist and kick
this guy's ass, what do you think?
Okay, it's a "No."
I'm telling you, it's gone.
I promise you it's gone.
Now, let me get out of here, and
I'll stay out of your way, okay?
Where's the disk, Frankie?
This is like a broken record. You're wasting
your time, why don't you ask me in Spanish?
[speaking Spanish]
Congratulations.
You speak Spanish.
I'm telling you,
the disk is gone.
It is gone,
we're wasting time.
Let me just get out of here. I won't
bother you, I'll stay out of your hair.
You'll never see me again, just let me...
What is that?
Where is the disk?
I don't have it.
I destroyed it.
For the last time, gone.
The disk is gone.
You're Jewish,
aren't you, Frankie?
I was before I turned
but don't tell my Rabbi.
This will make things easier.
- Why, what are you gonna do?
- Star of David.
Uh-huh.
[screaming]
Stop! Stop it!
[groaning]
[screaming]
But we heard,
through a reliable source,
someone kept the original.
In fact,
we heard that it had been
expanded into this
informative history lesson
on the Sunset Society.
A society no one is supposed
to know about.
Whoever told you that
is a liar. [groans]
There is no movie.
Even if there was,
I had nothing to do with it.
So, this was just
a misunderstanding?
- A mistake?
- Yeah.
Yes, that's right.
- That's the wrong answer.
- No.
No!
- Tie him up.
- [Charlie] No!
Nice, nice.
[women moaning]
Lay down.
Both of you.
Feeling a little warm,
aren't you?
[grunts]
I'm sorry about that, but
are you gonna tell us
what Ace wants to know?
Go stake yourself.
[chuckles]
Remember that scene
from Marathon Man,
what Laurence Olivier
said to Dustin Hoffman,
"Is it safe?"
Ha, that movie gave me
nightmares for years.
I always wondered how that
would go over with vampires.
You know what I really like?
Kissing cousins.
Eenie meenie...
miney...
mo.
You're first.
[heavy metal music playing]
This will work.
[Charlie] Uh... I don't know.
I don't know, I swear.
It was destroyed, he said.
It's safe, it's safe.
- [Mr. Cross] Unfortunately, I don't believe you.
- No, no!
[giggles]
No!
[screaming]
Watch.
[screaming continues]
[screaming]
You're not a virgin, are you?
Well, I guarantee you've never
had it like this before.
Drink with it.
[exhales sharply]
[exclaims]
[moaning]
[giggles]
What are you doing?
[exclaims]
[moaning]
Reese?
Ah, Christ. Oh, my God,
he's growing inside of me.
[screams]
[screaming]
Ah, the children of the night.
What sweet music they make.
[laughs maniacally]
[screaming]
Now that's what I call
deep love.
[panting]
Your turn.
[woman screaming]
[man roars]
Are you ready to talk?
If you can.
I can speed up the process.
[laughs maniacally]
Now, answer, answer...
- [gasps] Charlie!
- No!
You must be Sophia.
Leave him alone.
Not so fast, little lady.
All we want
is Charlie's little home movie.
Charlie doesn't make
home movies.
That you're aware of?
I'm aware of everything
in this society.
I was Ace's girl.
I heard you calling.
[bones snapping]
I'm aware of everything
in this society.
I was Ace's girl. I have
records and recordings.
Are you saying
you made the movie?
What do I look like?
Just a pretty face?
Let her go.
I was wondering when Ace would
come looking for this video,
but he sent you, huh?
Yes, he sent us.
Where is it, Sophia?
No, Sophia.
Sorry, Charlie.
I never told you because
this was my special project.
My memoirs to the society,
so to speak.
Now, I know, even as a vampire,
nothing lasts forever.
Not family, not love,
and even Ace.
This movie was a tribute to us,
to him.
How sweet.
I was hoping Ace and I
would watch this together.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Burton and I will have to do.
[groans]
You're more than welcome
to join us.
In fact, I insist on it.
[grunting]
- [blades clashing]
- [heavy metal music playing]
If one of us is careless,
it blows the whole society,
and we're all dead.
- He knows about the video.
- What fucking video?
So don't fuck up.
We answer to Ace, all of us.
- [Ace] To the society.
- [all] To the society.
[roars]
[howling]
[woman]
This is a beautiful house.
You guys are really gonna
love it here.
[tires screeching]
[doorbell ringing]
[woman] Hi.
These are my friends.
Hmm, excellent.
- Yeah.
- How do you do?
I am Bronson.
Welcome to the manor.
- I'm Claude.
- Claude, delighted.
- Mitsy.
- Mitsy? Charmed.
May I show you around?
Isn't this immaculate, you guys?
It's so beautiful.
- [Claude] It's great.
- [Bronson] Right this way.
[Mitsy] It's really interesting.
[indistinct chatter]
[rock music playing]
You look marvelous.
Yeah, as well as you.
[doorbell ringing]
- You have anything we can snack on?
- That's rude.
- Do ya?
- I do.
I will be delighted
to accommodate you.
[Bronson]
Ladies, ladies, ladies,
this is going to be a night
to remember, at least for me.
- Daggar, I didn't think you'd make it.
- Elders eat first.
- We eat together.
- I get the first bite.
[Bronson] As promised.
Your snack.
That's not a snack,
that's a meal.
[snaps fingers]
[man] You know, I really
like taking this right now.
Man, I think
I should probably leave.
I don't think you should leave.
The night is young though.
[woman groaning]
You wanna bite me?
- [groans]
- [exclaims]
[screaming]
[all screaming]
[laughs maniacally]
[grunts]
[sighs in relief]
[moans]
Okay, Bruno,
she's all yours.
Thanks, Uncle.
[screams]
I was saving this for later.
[sighs]
[burps]
[chuckles]
Well,
come on now,
we've got things to do.
Thanks, Bronson, I'll tell Ace
what a great host you were.
So, how do you deal
with this boredom?
Boredom?
There isn't. People are bored just
'cause they are fucking boring.
You know what I mean?
You can't look at the future,
'cause it's too much of it.
You can't look at the past,
'cause it's too recent.
So, all there is right now is right now.
You know what I mean?
Thanks.
- Don't forget midnight.
- No, I won't.
[intense music playing]
- Thank you, Bronson.
- You're entirely welcome.
[sighs]
Bit stringy that one.
- She did seem a bit scrawny, I dare say.
- Yeah.
I must start getting a bit more quality
control into the freaking game I suppose.
- Uh-hmm.
- Selling out.
It's hard to be a perfectionist when
you're so impulsive, you know what I mean.
- Times being what they are.
- What they are.
Indeed.
[rock music playing]
Wow. We're gonna talk
about that.
Whoa.
Somebody likes the dark.
- So, apparently you like vampires.
- [giggles]
All right, nice.
So, show me and tell me about this
vampire fascination you have.
- What?
- You've got a coffin. Do you ever sleep in it?
Oh, I think it's cool.
I mean, you know...
Are you a vampire? Do you
think you're a vampire?
- Did you like to be a vampire?
- No, I'm not a vampire.
Oh, okay. How do you know that?
- I don't drink blood.
- What do you drink?
Well, I have some
vampire wine.
- Vampire wine.
- Yeah.
Very nice.
Okay, I gotta try
this vampire wine.
Let me see that.
Hmm, but you know what would
really quench my thirst?
I gotta see you in that coffin.
[giggles]
- Are you scared?
- No, I'm not scared.
- You wanna see me in the coffin?
- Yes, I want to see you in the coffin.
I'm not scared, so.
- I'll be a gentleman.
- [giggles]
There we are. In we go.
See, this is it. This is it.
Oh, nice.
Well, spooning vampires,
what a concept.
[giggles]
So, should we pretend
we're vampires?
Yeah.
No, no, no.
Do you wanna die?
Yes, I can't become
a vampire.
My God, fuck that.
Okay, fuck this. You're
not going to die tonight.
Okay, that's enough.
You're okay.
I can't fucking believe
I did that.
I'm so fucking dead.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,
damn it.
[laughs heartily]
[Bronson] That's right. I remember that.
[chuckles]
Daggar, you used to have so
much fun, what happened?
Nothing gives me
pleasure anymore.
Daggar, are you saying that you'd
simply not want to exist anymore?
Of course, I want to exist.
Just want to exist without being
so God damn bored all the time.
Well, Daggar,
as we talked about,
that's something you'll have
to work out on your own.
When did you start
feeling this way?
I don't know.
Like a month ago.
I just... I mean, look at Ace,
he's older than all of us.
How does he do it?
How does he do it without going
completely insane with boredom?
Ah, Ace.
You see, Ace has found a way
all these years
to amuse himself.
[chuckles]
Ace is content to be a
vampire, like all of us are.
You can't tell me you were
happier being a human?
Well, you know what,
when I was human,
I had a lot of interests
as a matter of fact.
I find my vampire life a million
more times interesting.
[voice whispers] Sophia.
[Ace] Sophia.
Come, Sophia.
I heard you calling.
[bones snapping]
[Bronson]
Do you mean to tell us
that you would
rather be a human
than a vampire?
What? You would rather be
a pathetic human?
I'm not saying I wouldn't.
- Well, that would be impossible.
- Hey, you know what?
- The magic...
- No.
Yeah.
[Bronson] Oh, my gosh.
There may be a way you can turn
into a human again, Daggar.
- Don't fuck with me, I'm serious.
- I am, too.
- There may be a way.
- I can't believe my ears.
You'd really consider
being a human again?
I would like to try.
I'm gonna look
and see if we can do that,
if we can find a way
to make him into a human.
Well, if he's a human,
- he'll certainly appreciate being a vampire, wouldn't he?
- Yes.
I'm so screwed.
Good morning, sunshine.
Look, this is bad.
This isn't good. I know
you feel good right now
but this shouldn't
have happened.
- Do you understand what you are now?
- No.
You're one of me.
I am a vampire
and I just turned you
into a vampire.
Now, I'm probably going to die
because of this.
And you know what, I have to
teach you how to survive.
I can't take care of you.
You can't see me,
you can't look for me.
- No.
- No.
'Cause you'll die, too.
I'm going to teach you
how to survive tonight.
I'm going to show you,
let's go. Come on.
All right, come in here.
This is where I have to eat.
I'm going to show you
how to feed,
how to hypnotize.
Because we can't always be together. I'm
not going to be able to feed you...
Wait, what? Why can't
we always be together?
Because I wasn't even supposed
to make you like this, okay?
I told you that,
you know that.
Hey.
You're Gage, aren't you, man?
I saw you at the Roxy
last week.
- Yeah?
- You were on fire, man.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- You liked that?
- Yeah, I totally did.
How do you feel right now?
- I feel good.
- Yeah.
I wanna tell you something.
See, when they're hypnotized like this,
you can make them do anything you want.
It's great.
You can make them feel pain.
[groans]
Or you can whelm them
into ecstasy.
Come here, man.
Try this.
You're gonna love this.
Yeah, see?
That's easy, isn't it?
Yeah.
That's right.
[exhales]
Yeah, that's nice.
- I like this.
- Yeah. Okay, he's starting to die.
You have to finish
before he dies.
Okay.
Okay, stop now. Stop now.
Don't drink after they're dead.
The old cliche is true. Let's
get out of here. Come on.
[howling]
[Bronson]
They have arrived.
Outside this society, right?
So that we can be safe,
and unnoticed. And now,
somebody is screwing that up
because we are starting
to get a reputation.
It's those low-life
vampire ghouls, isn't it?
Drawing focus to us.
Exactly, and we all know
who they are.
All right.
The point is
when you make a kill,
you leave the body,
all right?
Leave it.
The police might suspect it's
vampires because of the bites,
but a lot of people leave bite marks.
Serial killers leave bite marks.
That don't matter, right?
The only thing that matters
is if one of us is careless,
that blows the whole society,
and we're all dead, right?
So don't fuck up.
- [Ace] To the society.
- [all] To the society.
- Can I talk to you for a second?
- Sure, man. What's up?
I don't know how to say this, especially
after this meeting we just had.
I got an impulse,
I bit a girl.
- We have a new vampire girl.
- You're kidding?
After what Ace just told us?
Dude, we've got to keep
a low profile.
I know, that's why this is really
freaking me out right now.
I really fucked up.
I'm really scared, dude.
- No, you're on your own. I'm sorry, man.
- You've got to help me.
You've been my best friend
since we were little kids.
I know, that's why I made you.
- I know, I know.
- Look, okay.
You've got to keep this chick
away from here.
You don't know
if you can trust her, okay?
Before you make anybody,
anyone at all, you've got
to be clear with all of us,
just like I did with you.
Right, right, I know.
I really fucked up.
Just keep her away from here.
All right, you got it, man.
Ace.
There's something
I have to talk to you about.
Something of vital importance.
- What is it?
- It's about Gage.
Recently,
during one of his kills,
he made his victim
one of us.
And he's keeping it
a secret.
Well, he's probably
ashamed of it, you know,
probably didn't want it
to get around.
He did this impulsively.
Let it go, all right?
- Even if I do...
- Let it go.
[sighs]
I overheard him
telling Daggar
that he did it impulsively.
This can't happen again.
Ace, on this one,
you must listen to me.
Let it go.
You understand?
I don't want you making a fuss about it.
Just let it go.
- Ugh.
- I'll deal with it.
[rock music playing]
Listen, this is where it ends.
Okay? I'm sorry,
this is where it ends.
This is too dangerous.
I can't do this.
No, what?
This isn't funny.
I'm serious, okay?
Listen, there's some things I
gotta tell you before we split.
When you're feeding, you can't drink
when the person's already dead.
You can't go out in the sun.
I mean, you're not going
to like fry
like in vampire movies
you see on TV.
But it'll make you sick, okay?
So, you're gonna
leave me here like this?
It's too dangerous,
we can't be seen together.
You made me.
You're not, we're together.
It doesn't matter.
No, we're not together.
- We are.
- We're not. I'm sorry.
I have to go, okay?
- Don't go.
- [Gage] No.
Come on, let go,
I got to go, I gotta go.
- I have good news for you.
- Really?
I found a way you can
become a human again.
- Are you serious? It can actually be done?
- Uh-hmm. Yes.
The magic book I have,
it talks about transference.
Your soul enters a human body,
you become human again.
That's exactly what I want.
I know,
but you have to be careful. What
if something happens to you?
I mean, you're not immortal
anymore, you could die.
Nah, I don't care.
I want to do it.
Well, I'll find a body,
and we'll make it happen.
You're going to be human again.
- Okay, great.
- We'll do it.
- All right.
- Okay.
[rock music playing]
[bones snapping]
Wow, she's real dead.
And that is something.
I told you.
There's a vampire
out there, people.
And this is the proof
right here.
That girl is dead as a doorknob.
[doorbell ringing]
- Hey, Sophia.
- Hey Johnny.
How you doing?
You look good. You look way
better than your picture.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
You look good too. You mind
going to the side of the house?
- No, no. Okay.
- There's a door.
- Okay. Yeah.
- All right, I'll see you.
Sophia, Sophia?
- Sophia?
- Hi, Johnny.
- Hey, it's good to see you.
- Good to see you.
- Whoa, wow, hey.
- Hi.
- So, thanks for coming over.
- Thanks for having me.
- It's really good to be here.
- Well, tell me about yourself.
I moved here
just a couple of weeks ago
from Pennsylvania.
Um, I came out, you know,
I want to be an actor
and be all...
You have really strong eyes.
You look like an actor.
Aw, you're skin's so soft,
strong body,
- perfect.
- You're kind of perfect.
Wow, well, why don't
you come with me?
- Just relax and I'll be right back, okay?
- Yeah.
[Sophia] Okay, cool.
I found your human body.
You're gonna like it.
All right then, this is it.
Johnny, this is Daggar.
What do you think?
I picked a good one, huh?
I don't care. As long as
he's not fat or disgusting.
So, the way this works
is through transference.
While he becomes more hypnotized
you will yourself into his body.
He's becoming sleepier.
Keep willing.
Oh, my God, it worked.
- Ah.
- How do you feel?
Like a lot of gravity
and fleshy.
Human, I guess,
I don't know.
You're crazy.
Can't believe you did this.
Feel a bit hungry.
You for some...
chicken or meatloaf
or mashed potatoes or...
That's disgusting.
Yeah, this is a little crazy.
Well, have fun
in your human body.
What are you gonna do
about this?
Oh, Bronson
will take care of him.
Just don't get yourself killed.
[exhales]
Sophia, why'd you bring me this
God damn preppy faggot?
This shit's all wrong.
All right, pimpled faced Johnny.
Not too bad,
can work with this.
You fucking kidding me.
Sophia!
All the God damn actors in LA,
and you bring me this
God damn
cock-sucking teenie-weenie
two inch motherfucker.
Fuck.
[Sophia] Size doesn't matter.
Oh, fuck off.
All right, pimple-face Johnny, we're
gonna glam slam you up a bit.
A little bit
of rock and roll here.
Thanks for the body.
See you, Sophia.
They told this guy. Hey, this
is what I'm telling you,
you're gonna have
a lot of problems.
Guess what kind of problems?
Say, use your imagination.
Hey, guys,
what can I do for you?
Can I get some
bling bling at all?
Thank you.
[indistinct chatter]
Oh, Bruno.
[Frankie] Oh, Bruno, come on.
Bruno, Bruno.
[man] That's a DVD movie.
- A movie about what?
- About a real vampire.
Hey, Uncle, check this out.
What was that?
Do you believe in vampires?
I believe in vampires
100 percent, sir.
Is this a Halloween kinda prank?
- No, I catch him in the act.
- What?
And I taped it on my camera.
He's a real vampire in action.
This better be real
or I'm going to kick your ass.
I can 100% guarantee.
Take my word for it.
- Real vampires.
- Real vampires.
- How much do you want for it?
- Twenty dollars.
Uncle, it's probably some dumb
reality show.
Twenty-five in that.
- Keep the change.
- Remember what he said.
It's a bit of warranty.
Two block guarantee, thanks.
[Frankie] I want to go see if this is
a fake. Let's go watch this thing.
[Bruno] Yeah, it's a...
I agree with you there.
What the fuck
are you doing here?
I followed you that night
after you left me.
We're so fucked
if we get caught.
Oh, my God.
You haven't been feeding,
have you?
I can only think of you.
Listen, you can't ever come here
again looking for me, okay?
Okay.
Okay, let's go, let's go.
- Hi.
- Can I help you?
Yeah, can we use your phone?
What's the problem?
Um, our car broke down,
I need to call a tow truck.
- Me and my girlfriend.
- Hi.
Um, don't you think
it's a little late?
It'll only take us a second, I
swear, we're just going to come in,
use the phone, and we'll
leave as soon as I hang up
with the tow-truck drive,
I promise.
- Okay, I guess that's all right.
- Come on in.
The phone's through the
kitchen in the other room.
Whoa, what's going on here?
[bones snapping]
[whimpers]
Okay, come on, that's enough.
Oh, much better, much
better, come on, lets go.
- Hey.
- What's happening?
What's wrong?
No, no, I'm fine.
I can read you.
Here, brought you this.
Thanks. Little gift?
What's the occasion?
Because I can tell
something's wrong.
I'm fine.
Really.
I can read you,
come on, what's wrong?
If I tell you this,
you can't tell anybody else.
- Okay, I won't.
- All right.
I was out feeding
couple of nights ago, and...
You know, like, I got this crazy crazy
impulse and I saw this girl and I...
got her, you know.
- Now she's one of us.
- You did what?
Yeah.
If Ace finds out about this
you know he doesn't
like to fuck around.
I know, I don't know,
what am I going to do?
Well, you know, maybe she'll
disappear and leave you alone.
Well, she does know
where we live.
What? How does she know that?
She must have followed me.
You didn't feel her
tracking you?
I just saw her last night
and I was looking out, and she was
on the other side of the gate.
I could take care of her
for you.
No, I think I've done enough
to her.
Okay, I hope so.
[Daggar] Check out the new den.
Smells like fucking
rat piss in here.
I'm a fucking rock star.
I can't live like this.
Fuck! There's fucking God damn
trash on the floor.
Who lives like this?
Human.
Fucking sucks.
Rats... He's got rats.
- Pick up.
- [phone ringing]
Aye, hey.
Did you investigate
this mother fucker?
At all?
What? Did you know he has
like three God damn dollars?
And fucking rats
the size of my head?
Fuck you, Sophia.
So far being human sucks.
But I'm hungry.
Food is good. What's
this guy got to eat?
Chocolate should taste
better than this.
Ooh, I forgot about...
[burps] That sensation.
Oh! There you go.
[woman moaning]
Oh, burns, burns, burns.
[doorbell ringing]
This is for you.
You're not
going to fucking believe this.
What is this?
It's Gage participating
in a kill.
- On DVD.
- [Frankie] Yes.
How do you know
it's Gage?
It's so fucking clear.
I can read his tattoos.
Really?
And may I ask
how did you acquire this?
Well, first of all,
it's not any stores.
One man, one peddler
was selling this.
And I think he made the movie.
Interesting, thank you.
[Bronson] Thank you very much. I
must show this to Ace immediately.
Excuse me, please.
You've got to see this.
You won't believe it.
What's on there?
Hmm, Gage was followed
during one of his recent kills.
And he was videotaped.
It's being sold
by a street salesman,
to everyone,
the same one who made this.
Okay, I want you to get
all of this shit.
I need
every one of them back, recall.
All right,
and recall the guy too.
- You know what I mean?
- Yes.
- All right.
- Exactly.
Good.
I'll deal with Gage.
[bones snapping]
[exhales sharply]
- Who are you?
- I'm Sophia.
- I'm here because of Gage?
- Gage?
- That fucking bastard.
- Sit down.
I know what Gage did to you
was wrong. He knows it.
But you've got to let him go.
No, no.
No, I don't want to let him go.
But you can have an amazing vampire
life if you just forget about him.
No.
I don't want to forget about him.
Look what he's done to me.
I don't want to live this way.
I don't want to be alone.
- I want to kill him.
- Doesn't have to be that way.
I don't want to live this way.
I want to die.
- Are you sure?
- Ya.
I'm sure.
I wanna die.
[Sophia] Okay.
This will be painless.
What a shame.
Shiny.
Well, tickle my pickle,
I'll bet your a vampire.
- I'm not a vampire.
- Oh, man, I've seen it.
- You're a vampire.
- No, I'm not.
I've seen those teeth, man.
You've gotta bite me.
You got to, man.
I'm telling you, I've been
bitten by just about everything
that roams this Earth.
Sharks, alligators, snakes...
And I'd like to be bitten
by a vampire as well.
First of all,
I'm not a vampire.
Second of all,
you haven't pissed me off.
Well, maybe, I can piss you off
by shoving you.
- Yeah.
- Now you pissed me off.
Uh, yeah.
- Yeah.
- Nah, you're not worth it.
Get out of here.
Happy Halloween, jackass.
- About time you got here.
- I'm sorry I'm late. I got held up.
Oh, there he is.
- Mike.
- Hey, come on.
- How you doing?
- I want to talk to you.
I want to buy some of those vampire DVDs.
Where are they?
I got a lot of them...
I'll take those.
I'll buy that.
- I've got some at the house.
- At your house?
- Give my assistant your address.
- Sure.
- 5624, Kansas Avenue.
- [Frankie] Write that down.
- You got it?
- Come in the morning.
- [Frankie] Perfect.
- Sure.
I gotta tell you something
really funny, listen.
[groans]
- You're one of them?
- Yes.
- Don't bite me.
- I'm not going to bite you.
- He's going to bite you.
- I don't bite dudes.
I only bite hot chicks, man.
Now you've got attitude.
I've got an asshole
working for me.
How do you do that?
These are my friends.
You think you can do anything about
vampires? They're my buddies.
Say goodnight!
[bones snap]
You've got to come get me.
This whole experience is a frigging
disaster. I want to come back.
[groans] It's me, it's Daggar.
- Fuck. [groans]
- Gage, stop, it's Daggar.
It's Daggar, stop.
What are you talking about?
He transferred himself into a human body.
You're going to kill him.
Oh, come on.
That's not fucking Daggar.
It's fucking daggar, dude. We fucking met on
the first day of the fucking third grade,
fucking shared a cigarette in the
fucking bathroom, you fucking asshole.
- Yeah.
- That's true.
Can't believe
you fucking bit me, man.
Enough of this human bullshit.
I need my body back right now.
Dude, you are human.
That's why I bit you.
Fuck off, man.
Can we do this?
Okay, okay, okay. You guys calm down.
Again, concentrate.
Just like you did before.
Will yourself into his body
with all your might, Daggar.
Pull harder, you can do it.
- Come on, Daggar, you don't want to be stuck...
- Fuck, it's not working.
I can't even see
his fucking eyes.
You've gotta concentrate harder, or else
you're going to be stuck in his body.
Concentrate, come on.
Come on, Daggar.
You can do it.
I'm back.
- I'm back.
- Daggar.
- God.
- Holy shit.
Sophia, thank you.
I was almost stuck inside
that body forever.
- Where am I?
- [Daggar] You...
[Gage] What? Dude.
You bit me.
You almost took my immortality.
Look at this guy,
that's not you.
- I saw this. I didn't see you. I saw this guy...
- Gage, you're out of control.
I am sorry, man.
- I love you, dude. I would never...
- I'm back.
- That was close. Thought you were going...
- [Gage] Sorry, man.
- Did I pass out or what?
- Yeah, yeah, you passed out.
Well, I want this guy now then.
I'm going to give him a break.
But it's not Daggar.
- [Sophia] I know but I want to let him go.
- Do what she says.
- Get it out of here.
- All right. All right.
[Sophia] I don't know.
All right, later, fish food.
What's with those guys?
Oh, they're my friends.
- Looking at me funny.
- Well, they can be a little rowdy.
Why does my neck hurt?
Oh, we were making out
all night.
- Huh?
- Yeah, we had a lot of fun.
Dude, I'm sorry, man.
[Daggar] We have to talk.
- Well, you have a good night.
- I'm going now?
Yeah, don't you want to?
- Um...
- Yeah.
- Okay. You're gonna call me?
- You have a good night.
- Yeah, okay, bye.
- Bye.
[sighs]
- [Sophia] So, what was it like?
- What was it like?
It was horrible, it was hell.
- Ah.
- Humans are so dull, they have no senses.
Duh, I could've told you that.
It's so great to be back,
start to feel the gravity.
This city is so ugly
during the day time.
- I need to feed.
- Yeah, let's go. come on, man.
Bronson,
what's the with attitude?
Seriously.
Maybe it's because
I know what you did
and Ace does too.
- What did I do?
- Oh, you know what you did. You know exactly what you did.
If I did, where would you
get your information from?
[scoffs]
Don't worry about it.
I'm not worried about it,
'cause if it was a big deal, Ace
would have said something to me.
[roars]
Ace is a lot nicer of a person
than I am.
[bones snapping]
I've never done anything to you.
Would you like the entire list?
Or just the top 10?
Well, if you're gonna be
like that,
why don't we just shorten it way
down and just get to the top five?
You're rude, you're arrogant,
you're careless,
you're sloppy.
You endanger our very lives.
You threaten
our very existence.
- Oh, really?
- Yes.
- Fuck you, man.
- [groans]
[Gage] Whatever.
Hello.
Hi.
What's your name?
My name's Belinda.
Oh, Belinda.
Hmm, my name's Gage.
- What are you doing here?
- Basically I'm throwing my ball to catch one of the leaves.
Oh, hmm, interesting, well.
You seem pretty good
with the ball.
Well, it was nice to meet you,
Belinda, I got to go.
Look at this.
Okay, stop, just please stop.
[bones snapping]
No, no.
[Ace] If one of us is careless
it blows our whole society,
and we're all dead forever.
So, don't fuck up.
So sorry.
- Gage, you're out of control.
- You're careless.
You're sloppy.
You endanger our very lives, you
threaten our very existence.
[Gage] Oh, really?
[bones snapping]
Hey, dude.
Dude, you're
fucking hard, man. Wow.
And here you are.
- Ace is going to kill me.
- What now?
I mean
he fucking knows everything,
he knows
about the fucking chick.
- He knows about the video.
- What fucking video?
[Gage]
I don't know, it's fucked up.
I'm fucking dead.
- Just hide me out.
- Oh, fuck that.
We're not hiding him from Ace.
He'll kill us all.
Where the fuck
is your loyalty?
He left us
for fucking Daggar.
You can hide out here
as long as you have to.
Fuck, get the fuck
out of my way.
Hey, you need to really relax.
I'll relax.
I'll relax
when I'm fucking dead.
I think you need to help yourself
to a little bit of Lola here.
She can help you whine down.
That's the fucking last thing I want to do.
You fucking crazy?
No, I think it's the first
thing you have to do.
Fuck, I don't know.
Sure, you do.
[moans appreciatively]
- Hi.
- Hi.
Think I've had too much
to drink.
No, drink more.
I like champagne,
this is good champagne.
Tastes wonderful.
You like necks.
- I love necks.
- Hmm.
[moans]
[bones snapping]
Daggar.
Daggar.
Daggar.
God dammit,
can't you see I'm busy?
Ace wants you
to go find Gage.
Are you fucking kidding me?
You're the only one
that knows where he is.
- Why the fuck do I have to do this?
- Because he fucked up again.
[groans] God dammit.
Great, there you are, man.
Guess what?
Party's over, it's time to go.
Oh, man. I can't go anywhere.
I'm not going.
- You got no choice, man.
- You know Ace is going to kill me.
God dammit, you got no choice.
He's staying right fucking here.
- Yeah, man, I mean, come on.
- It's not up to them, man.
It's not up to you,
it's not up to us.
- It's up to Ace.
- God dammit, don't you guys fucking realize
that he's going
to get us all killed.
Stay the fuck out of this.
We answer to Ace,
all of us.
You're coming with me,
right now, let's go.
I got to go, man,
I'll see you.
Don't do it,
don't you fucking go.
Stay right there.
As long
as we've been in society,
nobody has gone to the outside
world and given up our secrets.
This is yours, is it not?
This is going to make us
hounded and hunted for the
rest of our immortal lives.
And it's you, it's your fault,
you're the first.
These are all recalled
and destroyed.
The guy that was making them has
also been recalled and destroyed.
The only problem there
is you, right?
You.
I've decided
to let this one go.
If you fuck up once more,
that's the end of you, got it?
[Gage] Yeah, yes.
All right.
My mom's at work, and my dad drank
too much wine, so he's asleep.
No.
[Ace] You killed a child?
[screams]
[thuds]
He ain't gonna
fuck that up again.
[Gage] It's gonna be okay.
You'll know what to do.
It's good to be back.
[heart beating]
How many years did you
spend working on that?
Quite a few.
You know, I had lots
of hidden cameras,
and obviously some reenactments.
- The animation was a nice touch.
- Uh-hmm, I hired someone.
As I said, this was meant
to be a present for Ace.
I'll give him your best.
No hard feelings I hope.
Oh, sure, no hard feelings.
I'll just have to drink blood
through a straw now, thanks to you.
Let's get out of here. Go get Ike,
tell him his play time's over.
Yes, sir, Mr. Cross.
I have one more question.
Ike, we're leaving.
Quit fucking around.
Ike!
[groans]
Ace did kill Gage,
I remember when that happened.
Yes, he did.
Gage broke that carnal rule,
"Never drink from a child."
What happened to the girl?
Ike, I'm talking to you.
- Ike?
- Ah, no, no.
[groans]
I wonder if fangs grow back.
Where the hell
are those two guys?
[woman] Hey!
Hey, where'd you guys go?
Hello?
What?
What's going on?
Where am I?
[guffaws]
Oh, shit, you're still alive.
[chuckles]
- Who is she?
- Oh, just a girl I picked up at the bar.
Brought her and her friend over
to share with you.
Hey, you didn't pick me up.
I picked you up.
I think you got yourself
confused there, sweet cheeks.
No, you are.
And gullible.
And dead.
I'm dead right here.
Not for long.
[screams]
- Charlie!
- [groans]
What did you inject me with?
My own invention.
Concentrated colloidal silver...
Should do the trick.
[groaning]
Who the hell are you?
Belinda Daniels.
The little girl jumping rope.
Not so little anymore.
Your vamp wenches are history.
How?
Good ol' fashioned wooden stake
for Ike.
Ike?
Think fast, asshole.
And then my little blue ball full of
holy water took care of the other one.
Holy water!
- You bitch!
- The name's not bitch.
- My name's Belinda.
- It's Belinda.
Look, I didn't have anything
to do with this.
I'm not part
of the Sunset Society.
I'm not even a vampire.
No, you just work for them.
[gasps]
Luckily, silver daggers kill
both humans and vampire alike.
- How long have you been hunting us?
- Twelve years.
Ever since Gage bit me.
[bones snapping]
[Sophia] He didn't turn you?
Or kill me.
Almost but not quite.
I've been looking for you
for a long long time.
I knew Charlie couldn't resist the
innocent catholic school girl routine.
It was so easy to convince him to
bring Becky and I home with him,
so that I could finally
meet you.
- Why me?
- You're the one that killed my sister.
Your sister?
Cara.
She was eight years older than me
living in an apartment on Sunset.
Oh, the girl with the coffin.
Until you ended her.
She wanted to die.
I simply put her out
of her misery.
Just like
I'm about to do to you.
Oh, yeah?
Bite me, bitch.
That's the idea.
This is for my sister.
My own invention
of barbed wire rope.
Now the world
will finally know.
[closing theme music playing]