Surfer, Dude (2008)

# Doobie doobie doobie #
# Doo doo doo doobie doo doo #
# Doobie doo doobie
doobie doobie dee-doo #
# Doobie doo doo
doobie doo doo #
# Ah. #
Announcer:
Guess who's coming back?
That's right... legendary
soul surfer Steve Addington...
- "The Nature Boy."
After six months of surfing
around the world
on the biggest and
most famous breaks...
Teahupoo, Raglan, J-Bay,
Mundaka, Frigates...
he's surfed it all.
Malibu's own Steve Addington
is coming home.
The Ben and Barry poster-boy
is now signed with surfing icon
and television producer
Eddie Zarno.
Malibu, California,
is now hosting the coolest
reality show of the summer.
The best surfers
from around the globe
will be living in this house...
and partying with
these girls.
Welcome back, Add-Man.
We'll see you soon.
Woman:
Next.
Occupation?
Surfer.
Is that a job: surfer?
Not really.
What were you doing in Fiji?
Surfing epic lefts at Frigates.
Where'd the cash come from?
That's from Ben and Barry.
Who's Ben and Barry?
I wear Ben's shorts, right?
Surf Barry's boards.
Those dudes send me checks.
How long you staying stateside?
Long enough to catch
some buglass,
check in with my brothers,
keep the stoke. You know?
Stoke?
Stoke.
You know.
Uh-huh.
Welcome home.
Cool.
Man:
Check this out, man.
- # Do you feel it in the sunshine? #
- This fucking asshole.
- # Do you feel it in the rain? #
- Fuck off, man.
# Do you feel it in the ocean #
# When the waves are clean? #
# Do you feel it in the evening #
# When the moon is up? #
# Do you feel it in your bones #
# When she fills you up? #
# Ooh yeah yeah #
# She breathes good luck #
# Mother Earth, Mother Earth... #
- Hello?
- Dude.
Addington!
It's the muffler you wanted.
It's classic.
No, I like it.
It's just...
I'm looking for something with
a little more boom,
you know?
# Do you feel it when you... #
Get the fuck out of my shop.
# Do you feel it on the mountains? #
- I love your hose.
- Thank you.
- # Do you feel it on the water? #
- Excuse me.
- What?
- # Ooh yeah yeah... #
All:
Yeah!
Long time! Long time!
# Ooh yeah yeah #
# She's breathes good luck,
Mother Earth, Mother Earth #
# She breathes good luck #
# Ooh yeah yeah #
# She breathes good luck #
# Mother Earth, Mother Earth #
# She breathes good luck... #
Man, Addy's home.
- Jacko, man!
- Jack.
All:
Hey!
- Hey, mate.
- Yeah.
Where's Luanne and
the kids? You bring 'em?
Oh, no, changing diapers,
wiping spit...
Beware of what you love, brother,
because it can drive you mad.
Listen... hey, you talk
to Ben and Barry?
No. They stoked?
Stoked? No.
They're gone.
- They die?
- No no.
They sold out
to Eddie Zarno.
They're poolside at
the Four Seasons in Bali
getting their grendals twisted...
Eddie Zarno... surfer, Eddie Zarno?
He's cool, right?
Well, you know what?
We hope he's cool
because, dude,
as your manager,
I'm telling you,
we got worries.
We got financial worries, bro.
Not today we don't, brother.
I just got back in town.
I got no...
- We got worries, dude.
- Let's talk business tomorrow.
Definitely tomorrow, bro.
No worries, brother.
Come here, give me a hug.
- Here we are.
- Okay, bro.
- Mmmm!
- Okay.
- No worries.
- You're right.
I don't know why I'm stressing.
Everything's gonna be okay.
Everything's gonna be cool, man.
# Ooh yeah yeah #
# She breathes good luck #
# Mother Earth, Mother Earth. #
Hey, Charlie.
How's it going?
Man:
Hello, Danielle.
I thought we'd talk
about your decision
to work in Los Angeles.
What's the joke?
California, like "granola"?
What ain't nuts and fruits
is flakes.
You could use
a little granola, Dad.
When's the last time
you wore a pair of shorts out?
Honey, I just think
that you're being rash.
Anything that you can learn there,
you can learn at one of my companies.
I mean, Malibu and
reality television?
That's... that's your decision?
Exactly.
Well, I give you one week
with those weirdos.
Man: I don't want to be unreasonable,
bro, but there's waves.
Okay, but, dude,
you have completely tarnished
the California work ethic.
Bro, I know you're trying to run
a mowing business and all,
- but there's swell.
- I just want you to know, dude,
you just harshed
my morning mellow, okay?
Jack, please, don't be
unreasonable.
I'll mow the fucking lawn later.
What's going on...
Page 35, "Killer Surf."
Well, so,
if you get time, why don't you
come on in and do your job?
It's going off in Leo, Jack...
Dude, when's the last time
you had a wave?
There's no telling, bro.
I mean, these guys are not exactly
committed to lawn care.
Most of these machines
are on the fritz.
I got bills up to my crack.
And Luanne is pissed at me.
And just, this Ben and Barry situation...
I'm gonna lose my mind.
- I'm gonna lose my mind.
- Let's blow through this, bro.
some decent swell.
Dude, let's take a moment
and assess the situation.
You have no assets,
you have no savings,
you rent your Malibu pad and you're
way too generous with your cash.
Stuff's like manure, bro:
you don't spread it around,
- it starts to...
...stink up the place.
But, dude,
we need fertilizer.
We gotta, like, fertilize
the money tree so it can keep growing.
About that, bro, could you
float me a few bills, man?
Yeah. Yeah, sure, dude,
but look...
Ah, you know,
Zarno... we gotta go see him.
And... and... and if we
don't make a deal,
then we're gonna
be wiped out.
Wiped out?
Come on, Jacko.
Well... ooh! No.
But, like, you know,
you... you have got to
go shake Zarno's hand.
Okay.
Just spendthrifty, okay?
Listen, bro...
Brother, I got no trouble
shaking a surfer's hand.
Ha ha ha!
Mmm.
This is Zarno's pad, dude?
- You cool?
- Yeah.
Anyway, it's his reality house.
Dude, the gray on gray...
I mean, like, gray does...
Something's wrong
with these fish, dude.
Gentlemen.
Eddie Zarno.
My apologies.
Conference call
with the board...
launch details,
marketing emergencies.
- It happens.
- Yeah.
I told them to stick it
for a minute 'cause Steve Addington
and his representation
were in my den.
- And hey, dude, this place rocks.
- Yeah.
Man, I was telling Jack,
I saw footage of you in Sardinia
crushing Porto Ferro, bro.
Man, killer cutback.
Cool, yeah.
Now I cut deals.
That's what I'm talking about.
Jack Mayweather.
God damn!
Only Steve Addington
could have a manager so cool.
- I don't know...
- Mr. Zarno?
Excuse me. Yeah?
- Mr. La Rosa's asking for evidence.
- Good, right?
Oh, God. All right.
Guys, I'm sorry.
I got some more hand-holding to do.
Margaret, my assistant,
will show you around,
show you the house,
show you the game... you.
Guys, we'll talk soon.
All right?
Cool guy.
Gentlemen?
Follow me.
This is our nerve center.
You can see the entire home here
on our monitors...
weight room, kitchen,
our spacious grounds.
Ah, that's your room,
Steven.
You have a perfect view of Malibu's Point
Dume from both windows.
The house is early
Klaus Woo.
- Who?
- Woo.
- Oh.
- Post-post-modernist revival.
- Jack: Oh.
- Notice the strong lines
and the perfect circles,
as if to conjure the line of
the horizon and the molecules.
The house used to belong to
a very distinguished porn star...
This place is so...
- so...
- Okay?
Gentlemen.
This place is so...
Have you ever experienced
a first-person-emersion video game?
I've dropped a few quarters
into Donkey Kong.
This place is so...
pretty.
Follow me.
We're calling it "Free Surfer."
It's in beta,
available next Christmas.
Catchy title.
Put them on your head.
I don't want to
put them on my head.
It's the future.
It's the future, bro.
Take a peek.
All right.
Welcome to the digital revolution.
Right.
Whoa.
April May.
It's going off.
Whoa, bro.
You all right?
Ahh.
I don't mean to be complaining
'cause we're not complainers,
but I was curious...
what exactly do you need
Add here for?
Ahh.
We can simulate surfing,
but we can't simulate great surfing
without great surfers.
Oh. Oh.
Now that makes sense.
Please.
- Whoo.
- Jack: Ho ho ho ho ho.
- Man: Nice. Nice.
- Hey,
Zarno went all out, huh?
Look at this...
that's La Rosa.
He's finishing
a sequencing session.
That's how we capture your
personal surfing style.
That's how we'll create
the Addington avatar.
He's a good surfer, man.
Hard charger.
What's happenin', bro?
Thought you'd be better looking,
have longer arms
or something.
I can't hear you, bro.
Gracias, mam.
It's my world now, mamao.
Man:
We need you in hair and makeup.
Wow.
- Dude looks upset.
- Truly.
Man:
Okay, people, let's reset the rig...
Looks cold in there, bro.
- Frigid.
- Man: Uh, sorry,
there's no smoking in here.
Man: Brill, shut it.
Baker, please.
Addington, continue.
Ben and Barry
wouldn't digitize me.
That's Steve Addington.
- Man: Brillo, please...
- The surfer.
...I will come over there.
I'll tell you something else, man:
Video games,
reality TV,
Free Surfer...
I mean, what the fuck is that, man?
I'm not some ass-clown
in a green room.
- I'm a surfer, dude.
- Man: Yes.
Hi.
- I'm Stacey.
- Brillo: Good day.
- This is my friend Danni.
- Hello.
- Hey, how are you?
- Hey.
Stacey:
We're working for the reality show.
- East Coast?
- New York.
Do you mind if we shoot you?
No, roll away.
So you're not going
to do Free Surfer?
I hear La Rosa's getting over
$100,000 in residuals...
- What?
- $100,000?
...and exposure worth twice that.
- Yeah!
It's like getting a map
to buried treasure.
Except it's not buried.
It's dangling there
like a big fat grape.
- I love grapes.
- But who picked that grape, bro?
Seriously, migrants, you know?
Exploited farmers, man.
La Rosa's little niece probably had
to pick that grape, man,
- in Oxnard.
- Man: Dude.
Steve: Wow.
- Not feeling it.
- Man: Yeah.
Not into it.
I just want to surf,
keep the stoke day to day.
Man:
Quality thinking, man.
You get all that?
Got it.
Later, East Coast.
- See ya.
- Bye.
Nice meeting you.
Blowing it.
Blowin' it.
- Add-Man.
- Farmer Bob.
Get in this house.
- From my garden, brother.
- Homegrown.
Thank you very much.
Speaking of homegrown...
"au naturale."
Under the sun...
Topanga Gold.
Bless the flowers...
- Bless the weed. Amen to that, brother.
...bless the weed.
How long we got you for?
I'm gonna chill
local-style for awhile...
the summer, at least.
Yeah.
The usual for the goats.
Keep 'em on
the farm roaming free.
You're way too generous.
They call it "courtesy"
for a reason, brother.
Wanna paddle out?
It's been a while.
I best be about
my father's business.
Cool.
Me too, brother.
Me too.
- What goes down...
...gotta come up!
April May, look at you.
- Look at you.
- Ahh.
Did you feel that wind kick up?
El Nio may be paying us
an early visit.
I heard you're gonna be one of
the surfers on the reality show.
Nn-nnh.
Nah, I'm gonna stay here,
surf and work the garden.
Just picture it, okay?
You and me,
the stars of it,
- just rulin' it.
- Mmm.
Promise me you'll think about it.
Aha ha ha.
- To the waves.
- Jesus.
She hurts me, bro.
I don't know about her, dudes.
She's the siren, bro.
I want to mark her with
my scent like a lemur.
This helps.
Steve:
I'm not some ass-clown...
...l'm a surfer, dude.
- That's excellent footage.
- Stacey: Thanks.
It's really useful stuff.
Kind of a scoop there, isn't it?
Which one of you was behind
the camera here at the end?
- Um, you did.
- Me.
Stacey: I was actually
interviewing and she was...
- Would you excuse us a minute?
...video games, reality TV...
- So... Danni, is that right?
- Yeah.
You're obviously educated, smart...
cultured perhaps.
I did my thesis on
vertical integration:
owning production through
distribution and retail.
Yeah, well, lesson one:
get the content.
Well, you know that already,
don't you?
So did Addy say anything else?
Anything off-camera?
No, except what he said
which was pretty much "No."
Right, well, he's playing hard to get.
He'll come around.
They all come around eventually.
Looked like you two
had a little moment.
I'm sorry?
I saw the tape,
the way he looked at you.
Are you gonna deny it?
Yeah, I deny it.
You can go now.
La Rosa: Wave that money!
You look so beautiful. Mira.
Ay, coo, mam,
you ever taste La Rosa, baby?
It's like Sabritos, but better.
That's right!
Pa', Eddie, dla.
- Hey, ladies.
- Chocolate y Snowflake.
Announcer:
Surfers living and partying...
- Hey! Hey hey!
...under one roof,
- fighting for waves on one beach.
- Addington, Addington!
- Addington!
- 24 hours a day,
it's one sizzling summer.
It's gonna be hot.
Australia's big-wave rider,
Johnny Doran...
Johnny:
I like huge waves,
Catholic sheilas
and beets on my burger.
I love that guy.
...Lupe La Rosa:
shredder sensation
from Puerto Rico...
Hey, kids, how you doin'?
You want my autograph?
Who wants some Red Bull, huh?
Yeah!
Just business.
That's "Lupe."
...and Malibu's own legendary
soul surfer,
Steve Addington.
Who?
He's scared I outsurf him.
Hey, Steve!
- It's...
...going...
...off.
Premiering this summer,
from the mind of surf icon,
Eddie Zarno.
All:
What! Watching that.
Thought you passed on
the wave porn, bro.
I did.
Dude, we saw it
and we loved it
and, you know, I'm still not sure
why you're down on this show.
I said no, dude.
I know, bro, but, like...
he's pissed, you know?
Zarno apparently got ahold
of some video
of you passing on his project
in a way that
didn't sit too well with him.
Yeah, I said "No dice" in no
uncertain terms, and I meant it.
Why do you want to discriminate
against all those poor landlocked kids
like in Kansas who are gonna
watch you on this thing
and realize that there is something
cooler in the world
than a house made of corn?
What?
Dude, how are you
sitting for cash?
A handful.
Well, then why don't you just
stroll on down the hill
and smile and be charming
and be cool
and be Addington, you know?
Maybe something cool will happen.
Man, like I said, I got no problem
shaking a surfer's hand,
brother, but I'm not living there.
Cool?
Okay, dude, but remember:
mind open, heart enlarged,
soul receptive.
- I love you.
- You too, brother.
All: Please. Please.
You're killing me, man.
- Let's go.
- Boom!
Ho ho ho!
# You see me? #
- Whoa!
- I love America.
I had no idea.
Yes!
Excuse me?
You put the green pepper,
red pepper, garlic, onion,
y mucho amor... you need
the loving in your life, papi, right?
Anybody know where Eddie is?
Oye, mamao, can't you
see I'm cooking?
What's up, La Rosa, bro?
Man, I saw you talking trash
on TV the other day.
What gives?
"What gives"?
I'll tell you what gives.
You and your free-surfing-country-soul
vibe, that's what gives.
It's about 30 years late, papi.
That shit can't compete.
I'm not competing, bro.
Well, I'm not buying it, bro.
I ain't selling it.
Oh, whoa whoa.
I need all cameras in the kitchen.
You got nothing I need.
Hey.
I thought about
what you said
and we're just not
gonna work out.
- Ooh.
- What?
I'm with Lupe now.
I'm sorry.
I'm just looking for Eddie, man.
You can go home
and cry now, Steven.
- Hey, dude.
- Aw, man.
- It's good to see you again, Steven.
- Likewise.
It really is.
We're excited to have you...
the coolest surfer in the world.
Yeah.
- Hard work, fella!
- That's right, fella!
Come on.
Grass is perfect
and we cut it, man.
Why?
You used to walk everywhere
yourself, huh?
- You stopped, man. Why'd you stop?
- Oh, no.
Was it that reef bounce
at Mavs, man?
Oh, you heard about that.
Saw that.
It was heavy, man.
Steven, Ben and Barry asked me
to personally take care of you.
Not that they had to,
'cause numbers don't lie.
- Numbers?
- Numbers, Steven.
It's all about the, numbers.
And yours, my friend, add up.
- Margaret?
- Yep?
Just need your signature on these
saying you'll participate fully
in my projects.
Dude, we were just chilling,
surfer to surfer.
There are times in life
when years of preparation
meet the moment
of opportunity.
This is that moment for you.
Checks.
This is actually stoked, bro.
What up, bro?
Those are for me, aren't they?
They're for you, yes,
as soon as you sign,
saying you'll participate
in Free Surfer
and live in my house.
I told you, man,
I'm not signing.
I'm not participating, you know?
It's not personal, Eddie.
I'm trying to tell you, I'm...
I surf.
All right, I'm a surfer...
out there.
Steven, I want you
to remember something here,
and don't forget this, huh?
You're in advertising.
Ben and Barry
never paid you to surf.
Jack's got my number.
You tell him to call
when you start "feeling it."
Heeeeey.
Wait a minute.
What about that?
What about that?
I was acting.
They told me to play
like I wanted him.
But I want you there.
You do?
What do you want?
That's good there.
Truly epic night, brothers.
I just want to go on record...
Report said "surf."
That's a lake.
Oh, bro.
Something's off, dudes.
No bueno, mate. No bueno.
Msica, msica. Come on,
party, people.
Follow me.
Lupe's so cool. Aww!
Back to the sofrito, mi gente,
because I did not forget about you.
Man: We got 20 cameras outside.
We can cut to anything we want.
We edit as we go.
There's hardly any post.
It's sexy, it's happening,
it's fast. We got...
I mean, we can...
if anything gets old,
like... like this. Hello?
Come on, I don't want shots
of girls talking.
Is this better?
Good.
That shit goes across
demographics, huh?
And next week, Addington drops in.
Boom... it's fantastic.
What the fuck?
Hey, man, look... Socrates
recommended the dialectic
when faced with
such an impasse, man.
You know?
You ask me a question,
I respond with
something to build on
and a conversation is formed,
out of which answers are revealed.
Mm-hmm.
Where are the waves?
I don't know, man.
Something's bogus, dudes.
B-O-G-U-S.
I gotta compensate.
"No entiendo," dude.
No no no, he speaks
of reciprocity, bros...
balance in the energy
that binds us, man.
There are no separate deeds, man.
You know, read Heisenberg, man.
You know, we affect... by looking
at that tree, you affect that tree, man.
You make it real, man.
Yeah yeah, thanks.
You've been really helpful.
Sacrifices, bro.
Measure for measure.
I gotta take action.
Whoa whoa whoa,
what kind of action?
No more women
till we get waves.
Yeah, good one.
No more weed, either,
not till we get waves.
Hey, you know, let's not
take it too far, man.
First off, fuck that.
And second off, yeah, fuck that.
There's philosophy and then there,
you know, there's life, man...
Why don't you just blow
my fucking balls off?
- and physics, man.
Butterfly effect, man.
Mate, you're the ass-cutting
chosen one.
Hey, stone crab...
you love stone crab, huh?
You could stop eating
stone crab.
- Right.
- Give it up.
No, bros.
I'm fasting.
- I got nothing.
- I got nothing.
Ah, we gotta vacate.
Indo, Gold Coast...
wherever it's going off...
I'm taking us.
- That means we're gonna surf?
- That means we're gonna surf.
- Did Jack Mayweather call?
- No, sir.
Okay,
tell Perez to prep
the Addington tape.
Yes, sir.
And tell him to cancel
his plans for the evening.
Yes, sir.
And put a hold on
his expense accounts.
Whose?
- Addington's.
- Oh, yes, of course. Sorry.
Um, which ones?
All of them.
Went to Surf Liquor.
Fucknut must have frozen
your tab there too.
Really upset Baker.
That tab was the one
pure thing in my life.
Herb will get you through
times with no money
better than money will get you
through times with no herb.
I tried. I looked. I called. I met.
No one can touch you with Zarno
owning your contracts.
I need waves, Jack.
Waves.
Hey, what about
that sticker thing?
You know?
The logo idea.
Oh, that's kinda...
personal, isn't it?
Exactly. Great.
Man, he loves you.
It's just... it's probably
just a communication problem.
Tell him that you will
push the product. That's money to him.
I mean, it's all we got.
I don't know what else to do.
Hey!
- Mmm.
- Hey.
- "Under the sun."
- Yeah.
Everything is under it, right?
The surf, chicks,
good loving, good times...
anything you're into,
happening "au naturale"
- under...
...the sun.
- The sun!
- The sun!
Yeah.
And it's something that Addington
has been so mad passionate about
for, like, ever.
Stickers.
You can put it on anything.
- You know, your television...
- Surfboard.
- Your wall.
- Your laptop.
Your dog.
If you shave it.
Okay. Okay, all right.
Look... wow.
Well, I've listened,
I've considered,
and the answer's no.
Not feelin' it.
Now are you ready
to come to work or what?
- Dude...
- Excuse me.
...be cool.
What's it gonna be?
Fun under my sun
or Fuck City?
Whoa. Whoa whoa whoa, dude.
Wait a minute, man.
I'm seriously about to pound you.
Man, do you understand that?
Are you gonna turn
my travel card back on
- or what?
- Okay. Whoa whoa.
Mama! Here we go!
Here we go.
This is the anger
I've been looking for.
This is the big-wave passion
I need for the show.
Huh? Oh, it's beautiful.
It's beautiful, anger.
Am I right?
Yeah, fantastic anger.
Really good stuff.
- What the fuck?
- You're gonna love this.
- Roll the tape.
- I'll tell you something else:
Surfing's lame, dude.
- Surfers... they're ass-clowns.
- Enjoy.
And I'm not feeling it.
Not into it.
Into video games,
reality TV.
Lying cocksucker fascist
bastard asshole
- son of a crooked fuck.
- They're ass-clowns.
I'm gonna kill him!
And I'm not feeling it.
Not into it.
Into video games...
Eddie:
Oh my God.
Oh, baby,
the magic of montage.
How was that for a moment, huh?
You cannot do this,
- you unethical, unprincipled...
- Careful.
...scumbag asshole.
- Fired.
- No shit.
Those with the gold
make the rules, sweetpea.
- Remember that.
...surfing's lame...
Cut to three here.
I want to see it.
Man:
Going to three.
- Eddie: Hello, Steven.
...not feeling it.
Jack?
Man: Hey, we got some Free Surfer
hoodies for you at the end of the hall there,
if you're getting cold.
...video games and reality TV.
Man:
Look, it's King Shit.
...surfing's lame.
Whuh-oh!
It's macho man.
You got cajones, papi.
- Here we go.
- Addington,
this has got to stop.
- You're sort of stalking me.
- What?
You messing around
with my bitch, mamao?
Nothing happened.
Believe me, he tried.
Hi, East Coast,
you seen Jack?
Whoa whoa whoa!
Lupe:
Yeah, baby!
Coo!
That's the one-hitter quitter, papi.
How you like that?
Good night, Steven.
Addington? Steve?
I can't believe this is happening.
This is so great.
Please, I feel awful.
- Jack?
- He's with the police.
He threw a brick
at Zarno's car.
His car?
He threw it at Zarno.
A brick?
And a bottle.
They took him to jail.
- Addington?
- Danni?
Steve Addington just said
your name with his dying breath.
This is so romantic.
It's like a Jane Austen novel.
Hey.
Man:
Welcome to Breakline.
To check for surf, press one.
Those breaks are flat flat flat
and flat.
- Hey.
- Oh.
Ah, hi.
Um, good morning.
Excuse me, who are you?
I'm Stacey.
- Right.
- You're in my apartment...
me and Danni's.
Oh.
Hey, Stacey, did...
did we...
Oh, um, yeah... no.
But you're up now.
Juice?
No.
Thank you, though.
- Muffin?
- I'm fasting.
No.
Hey, Luanne.
Why are those dudes driving off
with Jack's mowers?
We have many lawns
but no one to push them.
I don't know what else to do.
Business is bad.
We need the money.
I have to go, Addington.
I have to visit Jack
in jail now.
Oh, it's all right, baby.
Oh, Jack.
That's fucking Steve Addington
right there, man.
That long-haired hippie
was talking shit on YouTube.
Throw your fucking
burrito at him.
Eat that, ass-clown.
Boy:
Enjoy the breakfast!
Hello?
Hello?
It's Danni.
Hello?
Steve?
You okay?
Quick,
don't just do something;
stand there.
What?
I'm waiting.
but I'm trying not
to even do that.
What is that, like,
Zen or something?
It's whatever waiting
without waiting is.
What are you waiting for?
Waves.
Well, I'm sorry, Steve...
- but, you know, I was just
listening to the radio
and they said there isn't gonna be
a rideable wave
on the California coast
for days, at least.
South, maybe, in Mexico.
Mexico.
- You got wheels?
- Um, do... do...
Uh, I got Stacey's...
Stacey's truck.
Yeah yeah yeah.
I know a cat.
If it's breaking in Baja,
it's breaking at Greenbough's.
Go to Mexico!
Mexico!
Ahem.
Danni:
Can I just say something?
I feel I need to apologize
for what happened with Zarno
and my footage.
I did not...
No, I know, I know.
It's cool.
You don't want an explanation?
I didn't say what
they had me saying,
so I don't need that
explained to me.
Check that glovebox.
Go on.
Yeah.
Man: Mr. Zarno,
there are three guys at the gate
looking for Addington.
I think they're friends of his.
- Shall I let them in?
- Yes.
Are you kidding me?
Yes, let them in, definitely.
And ask them
where the fuck is Addington?
Lupe:
Of course, ladies, you can lick Lupe.
Anytime... Oh, mira!
The three mamaos.
Yeah, let them in.
It's okay.
Ladies, continue licking.
Don't stop.
Ahhhh!
- Ahhh!
- Oh!
Hi.
You scared me.
Best to breathe, then... deeply.
There's nothing
we can do for him, Chip.
The transplant didn't take.
We're lifeguards, not lawyers.
Hello?
- Hi.
- Where's my truck?
I am so sorry.
I took it to Mexico
with Steve Addington.
- Stacey?
- You disgusting slut!
Okay, um, I can't really
talk right now,
but I will be back
as soon as I can.
I promise.
Is that okay?
Not without details, it isn't.
And I mean right now.
- I gotta go.
- No no no no no no...
No!
Americano?
What you do in tree?
Looking for waves, buddy.
Waves are in ocean,
not tree.
No, waves are not
in ocean, buddy...
so I'm in tree.
Hey, americano,
We make big crazy fire.
Look at him...
it would break my heart
if he didn't look so pathetic.
When he was yea high,
he'd hitch rides down
from Topanga,
watching us surf
till the last wave.
His mom left him up there
with some far-out folks
who let him grow up outside,
follow what he loved.
- And he loved to surf.
- Boy: Is crazy.
Like it answered all his questions.
Americano?
Until now.
So there's never been
a drought like this before?
Nah... not for him.
Boy:
No! No no no no...
So how come you're not
going crazy then?
I mean, you're a surfer too.
I fish.
Add's got nothing but waves.
Whoa!
Qu pas? Are you okay?
I think I put
too much gas on it.
Mi corazon's...
it's muy heavy.
I know, amigo.
I know.
Boy:
Americano, no hay nada all!
There is nothing there!
- Yes, a huge show.
- Man: Right.
- A hit show; it'll go through the roof.
- Yes, I know...
- Huge ad buy...
- Eddie, I know, I know!
Listen, where is this guy,
Steve Addington?
Addington?
Yeah, Addington!
Listen, Simons says...
- Yeah.
...you promised him Addington.
He's seeing La Rosa on the tape.
He's not seeing Addington.
Listen, I will have Steve Addington
under control very soon.
Under control!
What the fuck does that mean?
Man:
Dressed from head to foot
in black.
# Break it up, wind it up,
one, two, three #
# Now you're ready
to roll with me... #
Hurry up, Brillo.
Guapa, mi gente, huh?
Fuck if you're cutting, La Rosa.
Yeah, "da da da da da da da!"
Don't think so, "papi."
Pero, amigos,
we're friends, right?
Familia?
How is he?
Not very good.
He hasn't eaten anything
and he's pacing.
Pacing? That's bad.
- This was good.
- What's that?
Well...
this is a big, fucking monster bud.
That's what it is.
Hey, Add?
Yeah?
I scored this for you, son.
Sweet.
Let's thread up some
morning earth and burn.
All right, I'm gonna
go thread it up,
but I gotta pass
on the weed, though.
I'm fasting.
Yeah.
What's so special about surfing?
Steve:
What's so special about the wind?
Surfing is to...
be with that mystery,
to ride that mystery
for as long as you can.
And when it's over, that's cool,
'cause you know you were there...
in line and on time.
# Why she does #
# What she does... #
- Steve: Feel that?
- What?
See that?
No.
They're coming.
They're coming.
Waves are coming.
We're surfing.
We are surfing tomorrow.
Yeah!
# Right now
a ripple would be fine #
# She make me fall
so in love #
# She got me riding
so high #
# Test my patience
just because #
# She knows that she's
the only one #
# That's on my side, yeah #
# Why she does #
# What she does. #
Good morning.
'Morning.
Sorry.
Think we could
head back soon?
I feel bad about Stacey's truck.
Slow, wide turns, brother.
Espero que encuentras lo que buscas.
Later, bro!
Reporter on radio:
We've gone from a low-pressure system
to a no-pressure system
in the Northern Hemisphere.
There is nothing new to report but
a possible record-breaking amount
of days without waves.
Once again, folks,
pray for surf.
Hey, you know how to get
a dude to go surfing?
Not a clue.
You just say, "Dude, it's going off."
It's going off.
You can't forget
the "dude" part.
Lets someone know what kind of dude
is asking them to go surfing.
Dude. Okay.
Got it.
Later, East Coast.
Was he good?
I'm serious.
Then what are you talking about?
Why are you here?
It's Steve Addington.
You've got to get on that again
at least once.
Shut up.
No, seriously,
you gotta keep on hitting that
until the hitting is done.
Vic:
Whoa, a dustbowl.
Addington?
- Yoo-hoo!
- Yo, Add?
Vic:
Me, I sweat like a bear in Panama.
What kind of world, right,
that kicks a...
kicks a man out of his house?
Are you cool?
I'm really moved...
you dudes came over.
Love and waves...
that's what we need
in these dark days, man,
is love...
and waves.
And some hairy buds, bro.
And some hairy bud, man.
Uh, cops behind us.
- Be cool, man.
- Be cool.
All:
Be cool, be cool, be cool.
Be cool, be cool, be cool.
Be cool.
Fuck!
Uh... uh, I'm pulling over.
- Somebody bail with the weed.
- Hey!
Man: Too fast... too fast, dude.
Too fast, too fast.
- They'll deport me.
- Dude.
Vic:
On three, we scatter.
One, two, three!
Ahh.
Policeman:
Hey, litterbug, found your marijuana.
Policeman #2:
Is it yours?
Technically, no.
Freeze, hippie!
- Don't you lie to us.
- All right, all right, man.
You're right.
It is mine.
I was holding it.
I tossed it.
Yeah, it's mine.
Aren't you Steve Addington?
- What?
- That famous surfer?
Yeah.
You suck, bitch!
That's right, mamao!
It's Lupe!
I pimped you, bitch!
Someone tell me what the fuck
is going on.
Come on, bro, I need you to
pick it up a little bit here.
All right? We're gonna
make some money with this shit.
Call me a "beaner" or something.
Liven up, dude. Come on.
You dudes are in on this?
- Waves, man.
- Nothing but waves.
- In a game, man.
- Free Surfer, dude.
All the time, all day.
Man, it's some kind
of digital alchemy.
Baker:
Yeah yeah yeah! Barrels of love, baby.
- Vic: Where you wanna go, man?
- Aw, dudes.
It is Lupe time!
Where you going, papi?
It's okay...
grass grows, birds fly
and Addington runs from my beauty.
It's okay. It's an easy thing to
run from 'cause I'm so gorgeous!
A little rain, storm clouds, low front...
you know, perfect.
So it's a great
business opportunity,
but the guy's a real
wheeler-dealer, right?
Yes, he's a scumbag,
but his business model is strong.
He's perfectly positioned, really.
All:
Oh, Addington, Addington...
- Are you shitting me?
- Yes, he says he wants to talk.
- He's at the main gate now.
- Ha!
All right, all right.
Get the contracts ready.
- Get the cameras ready too.
- Okay.
Yes!
Addington... I love this guy.
Okay, we're gonna need you to
sign here, here and here.
And I do this, you...
turn it all back on, right?
I mean, the travel card,
the checks?
You live in my house
for the last two weeks,
you let me digitize you
for Free Surfer, dude,
I will put you back on
your throne of cool.
Pick a break,
anywhere in the world,
you're on a plane
the day we wrap.
What about my brothers?
They come too?
On the house.
How about Jack?
I'm not signing shit
until I know he's out.
Good. He just left processing...
all the charges have been dropped.
- Jacko?
- Hey, Add.
Man, you free?
Ha ha, yeah, bro!
I'm free. Thank you.
I don't know what you did,
but, boom... they let me out.
I'm gonna sign
these contracts, Jack.
Dude... dude, don't sign anything.
Don't sign...
I would rather go back to jail, Add.
If I beg you on my knees... I'm not
on my knees 'cause it's concrete, dude,
but do not... do not sign
those contract...
Add? Add?
You're doing the right thing,
my friend.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Let's do it, man.
Come in.
Danni?
Man: Okay, Mr. Addington,
you have a favorite break?
Any break in the world.
Oh, yeah.
Uh, and what is it?
I'm not telling you, dude.
Oh.
Okay.
I'll just pick one.
So act naturally
and if you feel any nausea,
dizziness or pain in the chest,
let us know.
Here we go.
# Whooo! #
He sees it. You ready?
Come on, pop it, man.
# Whoo! #
Come on. Come on.
What the fuck is he doing?
- # Whooo! #
- Addington?
No no, Addington...
What...
Addington?
God damn it.
Addington!
God damn it!
- Fuck.
- Ahhh!
He fucking bailed.
# Whooo! #
No no no no!
Where is he going?
God damn it!
Come on, get a camera.
Find his fucking ass now.
# Whooo! #
Farmer Bob?
How many are there?
You wanted them roaming free,
so there they are...
roaming free.
Dude...
- who mows your grass?
- Hmm?
They do.
At ease, at ease.
Carry on.
So where's Addington, huh?
Besides his nuts, I mean,
which I got right here.
Mr. Simons is here...
with another gentleman.
- Mr. Sim...
- Mm-hmm.
Wait.
- New York Simons?
- Mm-hmm.
- He's here?
- Mm-hmm.
We were as surprised
as anybody,
but Mr. Martin made the offer
and they jumped at it.
- Happened just like that.
- All... all right.
Well, what happens now?
Your company falls under
Mercer's DSK Enterprises.
Yeah, this is good.
This is very good.
Growth is good. You got
the muscle to move some product here.
That's what
I've been talking about. Huh?
What do you know about
the surfing industry, Mr. Martin?
- Not much. Nn-nnh.
- Nnn?
Tell me about Steve Addington.
Steve Addington?
Well, he's a big-name surfer.
Little difficult to work with,
but I own...
well, we own his image
and image is reality,
so we own his reality.
Just gotta squeeze it
a bit harder, that's all.
From what I hear,
Mr. Addington is surfing.
And more importantly,
he's cool and cool sells.
And when you defame and
slander Mr. Cool,
well, that's bad for business.
I don't... I don't...
I agree, I guess.
Of course I do, but, um...
I would dispute that we...
I would dispute... I would dispute
that it came from us.
Eddie, how about
you show us around?
Yes, please.
And why don't we start
at the front door?
Okay, sure.
Yeah, fine, let's...
I'm a surfer, dude.
Video games, reality TV,
Free Surfer...
I mean, what the fuck
is that, man?
I'm not some ass-clown in a green room.
I'm a surfer, dude.
Yes.
Look at it this way, Eddie.
You have been relieved,
but with all this free time,
maybe you can pick up
surfing again.
Oh, and you've met
my daughter Danni.
Your...
Wait, that was...
Oh my God.
Ah, that's so...
You can go now.
Security will show you out.
You know what?
All of you... you can all
just take a flying fuck.
- I'm a surfer, dude.
- Good girl.
# Come, my brother, come slowly #
# Come easy, my friend #
# Come, my friend #
# Come, my sister #
# Come easy,
come busy... #
He's here.
Oh!
The worm has turned, bro.
# Take your heart out, let go,
come let go #
# Come, my sister,
can I hold you... #
Goats?
Those are your new mowers, bro.
No, bro...
I think I need more than two.
Well, more than two,
you got, brother.
They cut, they fertilize,
they cut, they fertilize,
- they cut and...
- And they fertilize.
# Come let go #
- # Come the winter, come summer... #
- Addington!
# Come autumn, come spring,
do your thing... #
That clip was bullshit, man.
I threw a breakfast burrito
at you, bro.
Sorry, dude.
- It's cool.
- Right on, man.
# Whooo! #
Waves, bro!
- # Whooo! #
- Waves?
- Waves.
- Waves.
# Whooo! #
# Hey! #
# Whoo hoo hoo hoo hoo #
# Come, my brother,
put your hands up #
# Take your heart out,
let go #
# Come let go #
# Come, my sister, can I hold you? #
# Can I squeeze you? #
# Let go, come let go... #
These contracts,
they're not binding,
but my offer still stands.
I say, I dig your vibe,
Mr. Martin, I do,
and I appreciate your offer.
But me and Jack over there... we let him
handle all the business deals.
Understood.
I gotta tell you, though,
bro to bro...
if it wasn't for this chick...
- What? A girl?
- Oh, yeah.
Yeah, charged and peaceful
all at the same time,
- kind of like the ocean.
- Ha.
Speaking of, there she is right now,
on time.
Ah...
That's...
that's my daughter, Steve.
- She's your daughter?
- Mm-hmm.
Dude,
you're stoked.
It's going off, dude.
- Later, dude.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, boy.
- Mr. Mayweather?
- Oh, Mr. Martin.
I've been going over
these contracts
and... who are Ben and Barry?
Well, step into my office.
Let's have a little conversation.
# Whooo! #
# Whooo! #
# Whooo! #
# Can you feel it?
It's coming up again #
# And I can feel it
coming up again #
# I can feel it
coming through the wind #
# Can you feel it?
She get me smilin' again #
# Can you feel it
coming up again? #
# I can feel it,
she givin' up again #
# Can you feel it
coming through the wind? #
# I can feel it,
she get me smilin' again #
# Oh ooh #
# Oh, she get me
smilin' again #
# Whooo! #
# Say, can you feel it,
she comin' up again? #
# I can feel it
coming through the wind #
# Can you feel it?
She givin' up again #
# I can feel it,
she came in strong again #
# I can feel it #
# I can feel it #
# I can feel it, ehhh #
# Waiting #
# So long, it seems,
that I've been waiting #
# Whoo! #
# So long, it seems #
# So long, it seems,
that I've been waiting #
# Whoo! #
# Hey #
# Can you feel it? #
# Can you feel it? #
Ah, barrel.
What's the barrel?
There's nothing we can do for him, Chip.
The transplant didn't take.
We're lifeguards, not lawyers.
That was good.
Okay. Ay gy gy gy gy gy gy...
La Rosa... you want to see
my beautiful face.
Ah ka ka ka ka!
Okay. Hello, is anybody there?
What is this shit?
# Fuk it #
# Fuk it #
# It's all good again, my friends #
# My friends, my friends... #
You wanna get high?
Oh, yeah, bro.
I'm right behind you.
I just got a little business
to take care of.
# Waiting #
# Ha! Can you feel it? #
# She's coming up again #
# I can feel it
coming through the wind... #
Ah ha ha ha ha.
# Koo koo koo koo koo. #
# Whoo hoo hoo #
# Yeah yeah yeah yeah #
# Heard you saying
it won't make a difference #
# It's only you and
it's just this once, yeah #
# It's only this time #
# Don't you think that
it all adds up? #
# There's a reaction
for each action, man #
# And where do you
draw the line? #
# Know thyself and
to thine own self be true #
# Any other way is
gonna make you feel blue #
# Yeah, you got
a reason to be #
# Maybe if we focus and
we get it together #
# We could raise the human
consciousness and make things better #
# Yeah, I know you think
I'm a dreamer #
# But I know that you're also
seeking peace of mind #
# Wonder why
you feel so tired #
# Why your third eye's blind #
# And I know that
you're also trying #
# To find your place #
# You're somewhere all the time #
# And somewhere out in space #
# Get so exhausted
for money exhausts #
# Living in fear from
living in a box #
# Yeah, how come we
always have to try? #
# I keep wishing corporations
and the politicians #
# Would make tighter restrictions
on the fossil-fuel emissions #
# And meanwhile,
why don't we walk? #
# If we all did a little
then a lot would be done #
# Clean up the mess
and try to have some fun #
# Yeah, I'm off to
plant a tree now #
# 'Cause if everybody takes
and nobody gives #
# There'll soon be nowhere to breathe,
nowhere to live #
# But you can't stop
Mother Nature #
# But I know that
you're also seeking #
# Peace of mind #
# Wondering why
you feel so tired #
# Why your third eye's blind #
# I know that you're
also trying #
# To find your place #
# You're somewhere all the time #
# And somewhere out in space #
# Did you remember to
give thanks for the food #
# The earth and the water
and everything good? Yeah #
# The fire's still burning #
# Talk to yourself 'cause
no one knows you better #
# Even take the time
to write yourself a letter #
# Don't you know
the wheels are still turning? #
# There's no better time than now
to stand up straight #
# Take a deep breath,
Lord, it's never too late #
# To expell your confusion #
# Say it's all been done
and there's no sense trying #
# They don't really know you
and they're probably lying #
# You've got to see
for yourself, yeah #
# But I know that
you're also seeking #
# Peace of mind #
# Wondering why
you feel so tired #
# Why your third eye's blind #
# And I know that you're
also trying #
# To find your place #
# You're somewhere all the time #
# And somewhere out in space #
# I know that
you're also seeking #
# I know that you're
also out there #
# Oh, yeah
oh, yeah #
# Oh, yeah-eah #
# Oh, yeah, oh, yeah #
# Oh, yeah-eah #
# I know that you're
also seeking #
# I know that you're also
out there #
# Oh, yeah, oh, yeah #
# Oh, yeah-eah-eah #
# Uh-huh #
# Uh-huuh #
# Uh-huuuuh. #
Yes yes.
And that is why we want him to...
represent our board.
Of course. Well, that's what
he's doing here, of course.
- Yes yes.
- And you know what?
Maybe we'll all go to dinner after
or something, maybe.
- Korean barbeque.
- Ah, Korean barbeque.
That's what I was thinking.
Okay, we'll get him in the water...
Okay, it's time for you
to do your thing.
Things are looking
good over here.
I thought you said it was
made by some soulful dudes.
No no no, I said
"dudes from Seoul," bro.
Yeah. It's a hacked bomber, man.
It's got a bee on it, man.
You know?
Nine skegs.
Look, bro, do me a favor... get on that
damn thing and ride it, all right?
We're one wave away
from a payday
and, like,
we're check-light, okay?
We need some checks
coming in.
Yeah?
Party. Get stoned!
Respect.
Ha! Respect.
Yeah.
Ha ha!
Yeah, respect.
Re... respect.
Okay, ladies, he doesn't
go in for that.
I'm cool, I'm cool, I'm cool.
All right.
All right. Ahh.
Dude, outside!
Outside!
What happened?
Addington's supposed to be good.
Addington sucks.
Mr. Addington's all big talk.
Look at my man over here.
He go out there and he break it.
It's broken!
It is our only board.
How were you gonna sell the boards
if you only have one of 'em?