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Surviving Christmas with the Relatives (2018)
[birds chirping]
[rooster crows] [quiet music plays] [sighs] [exhales] [exhales] -[exhales] -[Miranda moans] Oh. Fuck, it's cold. -[dog barks] -[kids laugh] [Daisy] Last one waits the table. That's not fair. You started first. So what if I did? Wait. Get your foot out the pail. Come back now. -[goat bleats] -Are you stuck? -[chickens cluck] -[Daisy] Go on. Out you go. Bye, Gobbles. [Gobbles gobbles] Daisy, the toast is done. [Daisy] Okay, I'm coming. -You've seen the beanbags? -We're out. Can you get some? No, can't you? I've got to go to London. Dan, I don't have a second. You think I do? Jesus, the time. What time will you be back? They arrive around four. No idea. Why are they coming anyway? It's gonna be a nightmare. A nightmare. They are coming because it's the first Christmas in this house since Mom and Dad died. And maybe the last. I don't think I can survive three days with Trent. He's so damn pleased with himself. He's always trying to put me down in some not-so-subtle way. Have some fun to-- People put other people down usually because they don't feel that great about themselves. Why don't you look at it that way? Well, I hope you told them what to expect. I don't want any complaints. I told them they're expecting the wits, Dan. Please don't be late. There's so much to do. God, I hate Christmas and the stress. The stress. Aren't you forgetting something? What? No, you idiot. Gobbles. Ah, Witek, leak in our bedroom is really bad. Priority. [with accent] No worries. Thanks. [Gobbles gobbles] I'm sorry, Gobbles. This is the moment of truth. [Gobbles gobbles] Stay. Almost. Come on. [moans] Please, come on. [Gobbles gobbles] [Dan] Come on, please. Please. Stay there. [screams] Shh. Come on, stay there. Stay there. Stay there. That's it. That's it. [moans] Oh, it's disgusting. Shit! -Bloody frost on my sprouts. -[Dan] Oh, no. What happened? Haven't you done it yet? What's the rush? I'll do it tonight when I'm back. For God's sake, you always leave everything to the last minute. -I'll do it. Give me the sack. -No. I don't wanna be packing the damn bird at midnight. I said I'll do it. The turkey is my department. I'd concentrate on the vegetables if I were you. You better buy some sprouts while you're at it. And remember, we've got the village for drinks at seven. [Holiday music plays] Oh, God. Here, some biscuits. Thanks. Can I borrow you? I just need some help with the Christmas tree. Dan says fix leak. Priority. It won't take long. [chorus] We wish you a merry Christmas We wish you a merry Christmas We wish you a merry Christmas And a happy New Year We wish you a merry-- This one's really nice. Doesn't seem to be a-- How much is it? Nine hundred and fifty pounds. I'm not-- I'm not sure it's quite what I'm looking for, ma'am. Thanks. [upbeat music plays] Um, how much is this necklace? Uh, just a minute. Let me check. It is 150 pounds. Oh, but I could do it for you for 130 for cash. -Done. I'll take it. -Good. It's okay, I'm coming. I'm coming. [doorbell rings] [delivery man] Is this Neverton? Yes. Is that my cooker? Rather big, isn't it? It's about the same [inaudible], it's what you ordered. Mm. Just had a cancellation. Lovely fifteen pounder, last one in the shop. How much? [butcher] For you, sir, 95 pounds. Right. Okay. Oh, not that one. Sorry. Some poor bastard's about to have his car towed, and on Christmas Eve. [woman] That'll ruin your Christmas. Oh, God! Excuse me. Aren't you guys going to bring it in, hook it up? Sorry, love, Health and Safety. I've got 15 people coming for Christmas. I'm not insured to come in the house. I'll pay you. It's more than our job's worth. No! No! That's my car! Ah! Well, happy Christmas, bastards! Bastards. Witek. Sorry, can I borrow you for a minute? [Miranda] Witek! [sighs] [adventurous music plays] Jesus Christ, it's a fucking construction site. She said it was a work in progress. Lyla, it's a wreck. The place is falling down. It's old, Trent. This isn't Beverly Hills. Is it safe to go inside? Thank you, sir. [hammering] Hello? Anyone at home? -Uh! -[Witek] Sorry. Miranda? We are here. [Miranda] Push it in a bit. Miranda? [Miranda] I'm coming. Just a sec. -[sighs] -It's working! Yes! Oh, you made it. Oh, so nice to see you. Welcome, welcome. Hello, Trent. Daisy, don't be shy, come and say hello to your cousins. -Hello, Aunty Lyla. -You look gorgeous. Tyler, you've shot up. -Oh, don't touch the hair. -So how was the flight? You're are all feeling horribly jet-lagged? Flatbeds. And this is Soon. She's on an exchange visit of Bee's school. Oh, hello, Soon. [Lyla] We thought it'd be fun for her to experience an English Christmas. Well, I'm glad you'll be experiencing it with us. And I didn't think you'd mind. Don't be silly. The more, the merrier. I've put you in your old room. Oh, sweet. So where's Dan? Don't tell me he's still doing his Christmas shopping. How did you guess? He always leaves it to the last minute. -[car pulls up] -Oh, talk of the devil. [Miranda] You must be joking. We'd be lucky if we see him before midnight. -That must be Vicky. -Vicky? I didn't know that she was coming. She's visiting with her boyfriend. -Come on-- -[Lyla] Again? No, not that one. A new one. Come on. Come on. I thought it was just gonna be family. She is family. She's our sister, for God's sake. Half-sister. You always were good with the waifs and strays. [Miranda exhales] Hi. Merry Christmas! [kids] Aunty Vicky! -[Daisy] We missed you. -We really did. -Do you like the hair? -Your hair looks really nice. -Merry Christmas. -[Dylan] Amazing. -You look great. -[Vicky] Really? Oh, my God, what's that? I said we didn't need anything. Oh, emergency rations. Trent insisted. Hello, Vicky. This is a nice surprise. Lyla! Great to see you. [Lyla] I'm sorry it didn't work out with Brian. We all liked him. Uh, Bruce. Bruce. Sorry. [laughs] But we finally got you solved. Ah, yeah. Um, sadly, not. Still unsolved. Yeah. Oh, darling, I don't know how you do it. I'd forgotten how depressing it was. -We love it. -You do, don't you? You always did. I never understood it. I couldn't wait to get away. Do you want to see my rabbit? Oh, no. I am allergic to animals. Hey, Tyler, do you mind sharing with the twins? Boys, take Tyler up and show him your room, okay? -This way, Tyler. -What about Soon? Oh, I-- I don't know. I think she went to the bathroom. I think I'm gonna have to put her with you. Is that all right? Okay. Oh, oh... It's lovely. You like it? I can't get a signal. Oh, I used to hate this room. It was always so cold and grim. Oh, thank you. I'm touched. Don't be silly. No, I mean it. Miranda, babe, I can't get a signal. Oh, yeah, sorry. The connection is really bad. Next thing, you're gonna tell me you don't have internet. We don't, actually. We're too far away from the exchange. It's called broadband poverty. [laughs] -Are you serious? -Yeah. It drives down crazy, too. Normally, we use dial-up, but there's been a problem with the connection because of all the rain. And they're working on it. -[shower running] -[screams] Sorry. I try water. What the hell is going on here? He's fixing the plumbing, Dad. We've been having problems with the pressure. Is everything under control in here? You tell me. Pressure is good. Thank you, Magic. I'll tell Dan. I'm sure he'll be pleased. [upbeat Christmas music plays] [doorbell rings] I'm driving home for Christmas Oh, it's you. Just come to drop off the presents. Sorry, I can't stay. Already late picking up Aunt Peggy. Well, Harry is still in bed. Well, it's six o'clock. What do you want me to say? What are you going to talk to him? Well, you think he listens to me? Well, he certainly doesn't listen to me. [knocking on the door] [Dan] Harry, it's me, Dad. I'm not staying. Just delivering the presents. [moans] Kind of smells of weed in here. Harry, are you gonna get up? -It's Christmas Eve-- -Dad. It's six o'clock. Please, I didn't get any sleep last night. You're really upsetting your mother, you know. Please, Dad. See you tomorrow. That was brilliant. It was bloody brilliant. I'm driving home for Christmas Oh, I can't wait to see those faces Driving home, for Christmas, yeah Well, I'm moving down that line And it's been so long But I will be there [doorbell rings] [Bobo barks] I thought you'd forgotten me. [Bobo barks] Aren't we going to be late? I'm sorry, Peggy. I've had a nightmare day. Cheer up, darling. It's Christmas. Stop it, Bobo. It's only, Dan. Now give me a hug. Oh, you gorgeous boy. Oh, I got red lights all around But soon there'll be a freeway, yeah Get my feet on holy ground Will you be the person of the house? Sure. Who are all these people? From the village. Family tradition. Mom and Dad always invited everyone. Cool. [knocking on the door] [Miranda] Lyla. It's not locked. They're all here. You're coming down? No, I can't face it. I'm too jet-lagged. [Miranda] I think it's important. Everybody's been incredibly supportive since... Mm... I'm sure they won't miss me. I just think it looks rude. Besides, they see me all the time. You're the star attraction. Fine. I'll be down in five. Thank you. Oh, by the way, I've asked Uncle John to come for Christmas lunch. I hope you don't mind. Why should I mind? [doorbell rings] Ah, come in! Come in! Happy Christmas! Absolutely. Yes. Oh, God, I look like shit. [sighs] Don't go far. [jazz music playing] Yeah. Yeah. Kevin, excuse me one second. Trent, there is somebody I would like you to meet. I'll be back in a second. This is Trent, Lyla's husband. I can't believe we've never met. How are you, dear boy? I'm well, Reverend. How are you? Oh, one [inaudible]. [Miranda] Sorry about that. Match still on? Absolutely. What's this? Children in Need. Oh, excellent. Everyone's been very generous. Would you mind? [clears his throat] Keep up the good work. We will. Children in Need. How is the lovely Lyla? Still taking Hollywood by storm? You bet. We always knew she'd go far, that one. We're all very proud of her. Speak of the devil. [Vicar] Oh, my word. [laughs] Hello, Vicar. [laughs] How are you, my dear? I am well. How are you? Cheers! How lovely to have you all here. Yes. Happy Christmas. Looks like they're still going strong. Told you not to worry. Vicky's here. Hope she's going to behave herself. Darling, don't you think you've had enough? For goodness sake, I'm absolutely fine. -But you've got-- -I'm fine, please. Oh, Peggy. -Oh, Vicar. -What a wonderful surprise. I'm so pleased you're here. -How are you? -Yes, I'm very well. -You remember Verity, don't you? -Yes. The Vicar's breath is-- it's-- Don't even start-- Don't even? You just came out-- I will pass out. Do you want to help us count? Do I get a cut? You must be joking. We did all the work. Wicked. What is that? This is, like, really old. I can't believe you don't have it. We're not allowed video games. Mom says they are bad influence. She says they make you stupid. [both] Maybe she's right. [both laugh] Come here, you little-- [Dylan] Get off me. [Dylan screams] [muttering] I think we've done our bit waiting on her. -[Bobby] Leave him alone! -Daddy, Tyler's killing Dylan. [Bobby] Get off him, you big bully! What the hell is going on? Get off him. [Dylan] I can't breathe. Get off him. What are you doing? He's half your size. Come on. -Honestly, what are you doing? -[moans] [Tyler screams] -Tyler. -Trent. Trent. -Tyler! -Don't over-- Hang on, son. I'm coming! I'm really sorry, Tyler, I didn't mean to hurt you. -He hit me. -What? Now-- now that's not true. He did what? [Lyla] Trent. [Kyle moans] -He hit our boy. I find that hard to believe. -Dan. -You don't really think I-- Look, he was-- He was on top of Dylan. He-- he couldn't breathe. I pulled Tyler off before he suffocated. It's true. [Miranda] Is everything all right up here? Is that what happened, Tyler? You really think I would hit a child? I'm not a child. Tyler. Tyler... I-- I never said-- I never-- I meant he hurt me. Look, I may have been a little rough in the heat of the moment, but I apologized, didn't I, Tyler? Yes, Uncle Dan. I'm all right. It was an accident. Exactly. Don't know why you had to get involved, Dad. Idiot. I am so sorry, Dan, darling. It's okay. Twins, Tyler, come on. Hug and make up. [all] Aw. -All right, friends now? -Yeah. Happy Christmas, everybody. [all] Happy Christmas. My father always used to say you don't have to like someone just because you're related to them. I'm afraid there's some truth in that. Not a very Christian sentiment, I am willing to concede. Thank you so much for coming, Vicar. -We will we see you later. -Malcolm. -Of course. -At the service. Good. So dishy. Such a plain wife. Poor woman. I'll have the keys. Oh, God. The cottage pie! Oh, my! Oh! Oh... What's wrong? I forgot to put the bloody pie in. [exhales] Can't you microwave it? We don't have a microwave. They're bad for you. I couldn't live without mine. It'll kill all the nutrients. So what are we going to do for nutrients? It's nine o'clock already. Where's Bee? -She went to bed. -Jet-lag. Where did you get this wonderful smoked salmon? Fordham's Emergency Rations thanks to Trent. I don't hear anybody complaining. Oh, you like movies. Oh, so what kind of movies? Why don't you start with the nuts? Horrible movies. Horrible movies. I think she means horror movies. -[all] Oh! -Oh, finally. -Dan, darling, come and eat. -That is huge. This is Soon. She's on an exchange visit with Bee learning English. Oh, hello, Soon. Hello. [Dan] Welcome. [sighs] Are you okay? Was it terrible? No, it was fun. Haven't laughed so much in years. [whispering] Here we go. For Father Christmas, in case he gets hungry. Night-night. See you in the morning. Oh, what? Come on, guys, it's past 11. Mom says you have to go to sleep. Otherwise, Father Christmas won't come. [video game sounds playing] Tyler, please, switch it off. It's almost over. Don't make me scream. Dan. [knocking on the door] Oh, man, I am so sorry. I was completely out of line. It's okay, Trent. All forgotten. Can we drink to that? I hope you don't mind I opened a bottle of cognac. Oh, mi casa, su ca-- I guess now's a good a time as any. Miranda's father left it for me in his will. Cool. You online? Still down, I'm afraid. Cheers! [grunts] So what's it like living here? Oh, it's great. It's great. Kids go to a really good local school. We don't go out. Don't buy clothes. Life is so much simpler. I'd go nuts. Do you miss London? Don't you miss being an architect? Well, not really. Well, yes, a bit. But if we can get the B and B going... and the organic vegetable business, and the farm shop... Organic vegetables. Oh, man. Well, I-- I may be able to get something around here, open a small practice, work from home. With no internet? [screaming] What the hell was that? Just Vicky putting the kids to bed. [mysterious Christmas music plays] Listen, Dan, I know you never really liked me. -No, that's not true. -It's okay. As long as we're still married to these two chicks, we're stuck with each other. So what I'm about to say is from the best of motives. The point, Trent? The point is I think you've made a terrible mistake moving here, taking on this house, all of the unresolved issues. What issues? What are you talking about? Nothing. I just think you're both gonna die of boredom stuck out here in the country. Just because you and Lyla can't stand to be alone for five minutes. -Now steady. -The point is, Trent, I wasn't happy. We weren't happy. Struggling to make ends meet. Then there's the kids' education. There's no way we could afford to go private. Life is so much better for them here in the country. Happy. What's happy? God, I don't know. You know when you're not. I'll tell you happy. Happy's a flame-red Porsche. [chuckles] Happy is watching your kid hit a home run. -Happy is a nice pair of... -There you are. -...shoes. -Dan, they are sleep. Oh, we don't have to. If you don't want to, Trent will. Won't you, Trent? Sure. Does it matter if I'm Jewish? I'll do it. Thank you. Ho ho ho. Ha ha ha. [laughs] Oh. [quiet Christmas music plays] What's that? It's Tyler's stocking. Are you insane? What are the twins gonna say? I don't know. What are they gonna say? They're gonna say, "How come Father Christmas doesn't love us as much as Tyler." That's what they're gonna say. Don't tell me they still believe in Santa Claus. Yes, they do. Can't you tone it down a bit? And not give Tyler his presents? Well, maybe not all of them. All at once. Can't you put some of them under the tree or...? Obviously, you haven't seen under the tree. -What, there's more? -Don't blame me. Blame Lyla. This is just the tip of the iceberg. [whispering] Can you keep it down? You'll wake up everyone up. I've got a problem with the presents. Lyla, can you come here for a second, please? I just think it's unfair on our kids. You can give Tyler whatever you want in the privacy of your own home. Why don't you just put more in the twin's stockings? Then we won't have anything on Christmas Day. Well, what do you want me to do? Give Tyler's presents to the twins? Of course, not. I just don't want it to look so obvious in the morning when they wake up. I'm sure Tyler won't mind getting a few of his presents later, something to look forward to. Fine, whatever. Honey, why don't you Polaroid the ones you take out and put in his stocking in case he gets disappointed? Well, that's a good idea. That's actually a very good idea. Do you know what? I am going to bed. You sort it out. Well, what about midnight carols? I promised the Vicar. Oh, my God, that really is in the above and beyond category. Goodnight, everyone. Are you...? I'll be up in a bit, hon. Fifty presents in one duvet cover? Fifty-one. [sighs] [flushes the toilet] Hark! The herald angels sing Glory to the newborn King Peace on earth and mercy mild Joyful all-- ...sinners reconciled Joyful all ye nations rise Join the triumph of the skies With the angelic host proclaim Christ is born... Better have that fire up by morning. Not a lot of burn waste anymore. I'm sure they wouldn't be out [inaudible] on Christmas Day. [laughter] [laughing and singing] Goodnight, everyone. See you in the morning. Nightcap, anyone? Gonna be up at six, milking goat with the hands up. All very well for you, city folk. I'll be up in a minute, darling -Vicks? -No, thanks. [men sing] I think it's crazy you going to London in the morning. I always go around on Christmas Day, open Harry's presents with him. It's slightly different. Now we're not living in London. I'm not gonna start disappointing him now. He's coming here on Boxing Day. That's not the point. He's not in a good way. I dropped by with his presents, and he was still in bed at six o'clock. You went to Miriam's. No wonder you were so late. It was that all five minutes. Poor Harry. Poor Miriam. How is she coping? Not very well. Oh, darling, I feel really bad, her having to deal with it all on her own. [water drop splashes] For Christ's sake, Witek, what's he been doing all day? Hi. Couldn't help but notice what a great ass you have. Really? -Really. -Yeah. Well, you know what? Not a good idea. Trent, hands off. Just testing. Yeah. Well... Go to bed, you fool. Okay, night-night. Sweet dreams. Don't let the bedbugs bite. [sighs] [sighs] [sighs] [moans] [sighs] [sighs] [sighs] [knocking on the door] [doorbell rings] [pounding on the door] -[pounding on the door] -[doorbell rings] [gasps] -[policeman] Mr. Reid? -Yes. Good evening, sir. Do you know a Mr. Malinowski? I'm not sure. Well, how about a Mr. Wino Brodsky? Bee, what the hell are you doing here? [slurred] I real sorry, Dan. [mumbles] Watch on your toe. [grunts] -Oh, I'm warming up. -Brilliant. [retches] -Please don't tell my dad! -Shh. [steps coming closer] [Lyla snores] Lyla. They'll send me to one of those camps where they leave you in the desert with nothing but a canvas and a penknife. -Wake up. -What? What? -[screams] -[screams] [Bobo barks] Are you all-- Are you my stocking present, darling? [Bobo barks] Oh, hey, Dad. What's up? [Bobo barks] [laughs] -I think we should-- -Go back to bed. We'll just leave you to it. [Dan laughs] [Bobo grunts] [Bobo barks] -Wow! A Frisbee. I love that. -It's amazing. Cool. [car engine chokes] [car engine starts] Now you begin to see what I have to put up with. Oh, come on, he got drunk. It's Christmas. No, you don't understand. Trent gets drunk every night. He's an alcoholic. How could he hold out such a high-powered job if he was an alcoholic? Trent got fired. He doesn't have a job. What? He was losing clients left, right and center. The agency agreed to keep him on if he could stay sober for six months. He couldn't manage six days. Poor Trent. I'm so sorry. His mother founded the agency, didn't she? I know. It's humiliating. I mean, when she asked about managing to keep afloat on my earnings from the show, but if the series doesn't get renewed... -When did this happen? -September. He's been hoping to get Soon's father to invest in this movie fund he's hoping to put together. -Really? -Apparently he's a billionaire. His company builds half the sewers in China and-- And now he wants to get involved in the movie business. Oh, that would be good, wouldn't it? Well, I'm not holding my breath. I mean, why would he choose Trent, for God's sake? I had no idea things were so bad. The point is... is that I'm thinking of moving back here to live without Trent. Gosh. Well, it's assuming that the series doesn't get renewed. Let's pray that it does. Not that it wouldn't be great to have you back from my selfish point of view. It's just that, you know, it's so complicated about where we live, the kids' schools. Well, you could always come back here. [laughing] I don't think that would work. Can you imagine? Well, let's hope it doesn't come to that. But we do need to talk about Mom and Dad, about the will, about everything. Okay. Fire away. Just not now. I mean, I'm sorry that I brought it up, but... [sighs] I have to go and get dressed. It's going to be a busy day. Love you. [doorbell rings] Happy Christmas. Happy Christmas. Sorry I'm late. Is he up yet? He's lying down on the sofa. Hey, Harry. Happy Christmas. Hey. What's up? What are you doing? I'm experiencing myself as inert matter. Well, that shouldn't be too difficult. Sorry, bad joke. Are you all right? Who are you? Oh, come on, for God's sake, I'm here to open your presents. How do I know you're not a machine that's pretending to be my father? Harry, if you're trying to scare me, you're doing a really good job. Bee, darling. Could you be an angel and peel some sprouts? Potatoes. Peel some potatoes. Oh, sure. Okay. This... I mean... Let me [inaudible]. Yes. [inaudible] coming up. Just grab a potato and... -On the back, all right? -All right. -[moans] -Aim higher, Dylan. Fire! Stop! Not fair, he's got water! [Tyler] Tough shit. [Dylan] Come on. Quick. In here. [phone rings] Get behind the curtain. [Tyler] I'm coming for you. Who's that? Shh. Trent? [phone rings] I have got an idea. Why don't we prank Peggy? Yeah. [vibration] [phone rings] Oh, for God's sake, now the bloody gas has gone out. -[Vicky] Oh, no. You're joking. -Hello? Doesn't anyone answer the bloody phone in that house? We're in the middle of cooking lunch, or at least trying to. [Dan] I've got a real situation. -[distorted] I'm gonna deal... -What? There's no gas. Miranda. Miranda? Miranda, can you hear me? Look for the gas. Dan, the line is really bad and everyone is talking at once. I'm gonna go outside. Hold on. [Peggy moans] [both] Mom! Mom! Quick! Mom, hurry up! Mom! -[Dan] Can you hear me? -Yes, that's better. Harry is having a massive freak-out. What do you mean? He's just gunk. He's completely psychotic. He thinks I'm a machine. Oh, I thought he'd that given up. [Dan] I know. We're trying to get him into a clinic. His therapist is on a case now. I don't know what time I'll be back. But everyone is waiting for you to open the presents. -Mom, Peggy is dead. -What? Don't be silly. -She's making groaning noises. -She's almost dead. What the hell's going on there? She's in the bathroom. [vibration] Quickly! [vibration] What on earth is going on? Oh, Peggy, I'm so sorry. [gasps] Oh, God. -[cat meows] -[Bobo grunts] [Vicky] My extensions, look! They are ruined! [Miranda] Oh, my God. [Vicky cries] Witek! Jan! Anyone? [Dan] What do you mean gone? Gone. Departed. Fucked off, never to return. Are you sure? Dan, they are gone. We are a Pole-free zone. They must have panicked after the arrest. So now the oven's blown out, and I've got no one to fix it. How am I gonna cook Gobbles? I'm sorry. I've got slightly more on my plate than the bloody turkey. [all pant] Here we go. Oh, oh. -Here we go. No, no. -Other way. -Other way. -Yeah. -No. -Done. Oh, shit. Oh. [grunts] Are you sure this is a good idea? You got a better one? [grunts] Oh, God, there goes Trent's deal. All our troubles will be out of sight -Good morning, ladies. -Good morning. Merry Christmas. Like the new look, Vicks. What can I do to help? Can you open a bottle of champagne? Now that I can handle. [sighs] Where is Soon, Bee? -[Bee] What? -You're looking after her. Soon's lying down. She wants to be left alone. Well, it's important you be nice to her. I am being nice. No, no, I mean it. It's about showing respect. I am showing res-- What are you talking about? Can we open the presents now? Please, Mom. Wait till your dad gets back. -When? -Later. -[cork pops] -[all] Oh! Happy Christmas, everyone! Oh, what needs doing? Nothing. It's all done. Well, it can't all be done. Wait, you could put the sprouts on while I get dressed. Okay. [Christmas music plays] Oh, those are herbal. He has sleeping problems. I'm sorry, we take away all that props. Even books? Even books. I suppose you know what you're doing. I'll have that, too, please. -My phone? -[nurse] Yes, please. No, but I can't-- I can't sleep without it. Can't you make an exception? It's not like it's a pill or a drug or anything. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't. I'd have to have it safety-checked by an electrician. Well, okay, check it then. Mr. Reid, it's Christmas Day. [laughs] I'm glad you think it's funny. Please don't raise your voice, Mr. Reid. I'm not raising my voice. This is raising my voice! Is everything okay in here? Would you take the patient through, please? If you'd just follow me, sir, and if you'd come along quietly. Not me, for God's sakes. My son. [upbeat classical music] Mommy, mommy, the Popemobile is here. Oh, God. What time is it? Uncle John! Oh! Happy Christmas! Lyla, my darling, lovely as ever. Oh, if only that were true. This is David, everybody, my personal assistant. -Hello, David. -Uncle John! You're early. No, my dear, I'm on time. In this house, that probably means you're 24 hours too early. Trent, I'm so glad you could make it. [Bobo barks] John! Johnny! How wonderful you're here. Peggy, what a lovely surprise. Hardly. I'm here every year. Wouldn't miss it for the world. Come in, come in. You're gonna do it, David. Here we go. Love your socks. Love your clothes. [reporter] ...come together in celebration of the year... That's disgusting. It just had one big lump. I hate to ask, but how soon is lunch? You know how Mr. Fitzgerald has to have his meals on time. [sighs] [grunts] [grunts] Okay. Okay. [TV playing in the background] Potatoes are done! All right. Let's get everyone to sit down. -[Vicky] Looking good. -I'm sorry, we've got to eat. He's about to go low blood sugar on me. Lunch is ready. Oh. Oh, God. Is he dead? He's fine. He just needs his medication. Did I miss anything? Lunch, for example? Everybody is starving. We almost lost Uncle John. He went low blood sugar on us. [Dan] I'll be there in ten minutes. [Miranda] Hurry. [Dan] I'm going as fast as I can. Start without me. No, just get here. Everybody please sit down before it gets cold. -[Daisy] I'm starving. -[Miranda] I know. I don't know. I'm sorry, we're waiting for him still. It's getting late. Oh, it's Dan. [Bobo barks] Finally, Dan is here. I'm starv-- -Trent. Trent. -Is he here? Honey, how was it? Terrible. Truly awful. I'm sorry. Poor Harry. You're just in time to carve. -Thought you were ruthless. -I'm sorry, I really am. We'll talk about it later. But we've got a houseful of starving guests. -All right. [Miranda] Come on. Sorry, everybody. Sorry. Daddy, Daddy, when are we going to open the presents? Not now, Daisy. As soon as we finish lunch, I promise. -[Daisy] But it's night time. -Hello, Uncle John. For God's sake, come and get something to eat, dear boy. Where is Soon? [Bee] Oh, she didn't feel like eating. You don't say. -All right. -[Miranda] Ho ho. Yes, indeed. Okay, where is the bird? [knives clinking] Coming. I'm sorry it's late. I-- It's-- What happened to-- to-- to the turkey? -Don't even go there. -[Bobby] I'm not hungry anymore. Please tell me that's not a turkey. -Gobbles? -Yeah. Darling, that's what happens to turkeys. We always knew. You killed Gobbles. -What? -Ow! I hate you. Daisy, stop it! Right, that does it. I am so sick of being the bad guy in this house. [Daisy] Ow, you're pulling my hair. [both] Child abuse, child abuse Boys. I'm just going to have a little talk with Daisy, explain some of the facts of life. [Bobby] What does that mean? Daddy, where are we going? It's a surprise. Daisy, can you keep a secret? I think so. You've got to promise me not to say anything to Mommy. You mean lie? Yes, darling, that's exactly what I mean. Here you go. [Gobbles gobbles] Jesus. Gobbles, Gobbles. I love you, Daddy. Not a word. Not a word to anyone, okay? Okay, I promise. [Gobbles gobbles] [chink] If I may say a few words, I promise to be brief. [laughs] This is a sad occasion and a happy one. Sad, because it's the first Christmas in this house without Ron and my dear sister June. Happy, because they would have been so thrilled to see all the family gathered here celebrating Christmas in this house they loved so much. So, Dan and Miranda, thank you for making this Christmas so special with all your hard work. And, Lyla, Trent, thank you for making the long journey to be with us today. [clears his throat] Call me a sentimental old fool, but it means so much to me to see your wonderful children Bee and Tyler discovering their roots, bonding with their English cousins. So it's been a wonderful lunch, Miranda. As they say, all good things come to he who waits. [all] Yeah! Good speech. But I got the house, and you got the investments. That was what we agreed with Mom and Dad. The will said that everything should be equal. The investments have gone, Miranda. What do you mean gone? There's nothing left. Can't you explain, Uncle John? Unfortunately, your father put all the money into one of those hedge funds. Now, I advised him against it but, anyway... [clears his throat] The fund's been wiped out every penny. I'm really sorry, but we've put everything we have into this house, everything we got from selling London. [scoffs] What do you expect me to say? I am in a crisis. My marriage is shit. My career's shit. [exhales] I need the money. I just do. Obviously, I'll pay back everything that you've put in. What do you want us to do? Sell? This isn't just a house, Lyla, it's our childhood. And I want it to be my children's childhood, too. I know that doesn't mean anything to you. Well, can't you take out a loan? We've already borrowed up to the hill. The bank's calling every other day. Well, I don't expect to get paid right away. When, then? Oh, I don't know, six months? What? What would be the situation if the investments have gone up instead of down? [exhales] Would you be giving me a share of the profits? So the answer's no? You're just gonna keep everything for yourself. Oh, that is so unfair. You want us to move out of our home, but you're the one we're supposed to feel sorry for. Oh, God, you're being ridiculous! I mean, this whole lifestyle, who are you kidding, huh? I mean, look at you, no makeup, your hair's a mess. [laughs] How long do you think Dan's gonna stick around? He hates the bloody country. What would you know? You can't stand anyone else being happy just because you're married to a raging alcoholic drug addict. Girls, girls, this isn't getting us anywhere. The thing is that Lyla does have a point. The terms of the will are quite explicit. The intention is and always has been that you both end up with an equal share. And, clearly, that's no longer the case. I'm so pleased to see you, Uncle John. [kids] We love you. We hope to see more of you in the future. Bye! -[Daisy] See ya. -[Miranda grunts] [Dan] Bye. Bye-bye. Goodbye! [grunts] Bye! [car engine starts] -Miranda? -I don't think he can hear us. [all] Bye! [sighs] What an evening. I think we should go to bedroom. Okay. I don't know about you guys, but I'm bushed. I'm gonna hit the sack. Come on, boys. Daisy, sleep. Even Uncle Trent is going to bed now. What about the presents? No, it's far too late. You promised. We need to be up for the match in the morning. Mom, it's not fair. Trent, you will play, wouldn't you? Please take one to bed. -Soccer? -That's really mean. We always play the village on Boxing Day. Another of those quaint old family traditions? Yeah, I'm afraid so. We need you, pal. This is the worst Christmas ever. And the Poles buggered off. They took half our team. -The best half. -Yeah. I mean, she went ballistic. She started yelling at Uncle John. I've never seen her so worked up. She sees the logic? It's not about logic, Trent. They spent all the money from selling the house in London doing this place up. And it's still a wreck. They have a huge overdraft and they think that they can make whole thing work by selling vegetables. Don't forget the goat's milk. [laughs] Oh, stop. [Trent] It's insane. Dan doesn't even have a job anymore. Well, that makes two of you. I mean, I feel really bad about it, but, I mean, what am I supposed to do? [Trent sighs] No, Trent, I want to go to sleep. [Trent] Come on, baby, be nice. [Lyla] Did you just take Viagra? [Trent] No. [Lyla] I know you did. [Trent] Please. [Lyla] No means no, Trent. [Trent] It's Christmas. This is my favorite place, not just 'cause you can get a frigging phone signal. Cool. Magic showed me. It's our secret. But you can't tell anyone. Okay, I understand. Thanks. You gonna be okay? You-- you feeling better? Yes, I better now. Okay. [faucet running] [dishwasher starts running] Thanks, Vicks. You go to bed. It's under control. Come on, you must have had a hell of a day. Okay, you wash. I'll dry. You must be so worried about Harry, stuck here in the country. Listen, do you want me to have a word with him? I do know a thing or two about substance abuse. Thanks. You know, I may take you up on that, actually. And we're not stuck here, by the way. We're here of her own free will, believe it or not. [Dan sighs] [sighs] Dan. Oh, sorry, I thought you were asleep. I've got some really bad news. Oh, my God, you scared me. I thought everyone had gone to bed. I can't sleep. I need some water. [slurred] Well, there's water in the bathroom. Clean water. The water in the bathroom is brown. No, thanks. It's from a well. Organic. Yeah? What if there's a dead rat in the water tank? There's only rat in this house, and he's very much alive. I think rats get bad PR. A rat never changes its spots. I think you mean a leopard. No, not, in this case, I don't. God, you look hot tonight. Can you let me by, please, would you? What if I say no? I'll scream. And wake everybody up? [both pant] I mean it. Just a cuddle. Trent. No. No. Trent. No, no, no. We're getting too old for this sort of thing. Speak for yourself. What about Lyla? Lyla doesn't care. She hates me. Houston, we have a problem. Not that much for a problem. Let's blast. -[gasps] -Oh, shit. You bastard! I don't believe it. Get off me! I'm gonna need some ice. And what did Uncle John actually say? Nothing. He was completely on her side. She always was the favorite, the pretty one, the clever one, the star. I mean, this is a disaster. We're totally screwed. I can't believe you didn't tell me what it said in the will. Dan, I didn't know the fund was going to go bust. I'm really sorry. Yeah, so am I. [exhales] [rooster crows] [Dan snores] Harry? [pigs grunt] It wasn't for me, Dad. I'm sorry. I really don't think I'm an addict. That's what they all say. I smoke too much weed. I have to stop. It's no great mystery. Yes, but can you stop? I think so. All my friends smoke. I don't know how I can keep on saying that. Well, maybe you need to make some new friends. That's not so easy, is it? I just want you to know I'm sorry. What for? That it didn't work out for me and Mom. Obviously, I can't help feeling if we stayed together... Then there'd be no Dylan, no Bobby... No Daisy. It's okay, Dad. I'm gonna be all right. I promise. But you are going back after the holidays. I really think it's a waste of time, Dad, and money. I mean it. You better call your mother, let her know where you are. I'll phone the clinic before Nurse Ratchet comes looking for you. [vacuum cleaner turned on] What are you doing? Vicky! [turns vacuum cleaner off] I couldn't sleep. Actually, I was thinking of heading off, yeah, avoid the traffic. What about the football? You're one of our star players. -Really? -I'm counting on you, Vicks. England expects. Come on, Neverton. Let's do this. Come on, team. [Vicky] Here we go, guys. [Daisy] You can do this. Bee, what are you doing out there? Come on! The game is about to start. [whistle] [talking and yelling] Go! Go! [Daisy] Go Neverton! -[Trent] That hurt. -I hate you. You're disgusting. Come on, Tyler, come on. Come on, Trent. Oh! [whistle] [applause] [Dan] Go on, get in there. [dogs grunt] -[Bobo whines] -[Peggy] It's all right. [dog barks] -[Bobo whines] -There, there, Mommy's got you. Nasty horrid dogs. -Go boys! -Tackle him. [whistle] Yeah! Come on, Harry. Stupid game. Dan, it's only a game. [whistle] It's all right, Harry. Don't take it to heart. It's a dumb fucking game if you ask me. [Dan] What's wrong with you lot? We're gonna need more than sliced oranges. This is England under Royal Hudson. Where is the Neverton fighting spirit? [Miranda] This is not the attitude. You're letting these losers walk all over you. What is it? Dan, just-- Is that supposed to make us play better? [car engine approaches] Over here. Guys! Hey! Bee, you are a genius. Yes! [Miranda] The Polish cavalry to the rescue. [grunts] [all scream] Hey, hey, hey, cut that out. Oh, shut up, Trent. [Vicar] Ready? [whistle] Let's go. [Bee] Go, Witek. Go, go. Come on, come on. You got this. Go, go! Yes! -[cheering] -[whistle] [yelling] Yes! [whistle] [whistle] Yes! Come on! [all] Yes! Harry's. [all] Yeah! Coming up. Yes! Yes! Come on, Trent. Come on, Trent. Trent... For Christ's sake, pass the ball. [whistle] Come on, Rev, that should have been a red. [Daisy] Are you okay, Uncle Trent? [whistle] Corner. [cheering] [whistle] Game over, six-five. [kids] Yeah! [all] Woohoo! [dogs bark] [woman] Come back. Come back you silly boy. You were amazing. You were absolutely amazing. We win? Actually, we win thanks to you. [dogs barking] [Peggy] Where are you, silly boy? I got a piggy bank. So cool. Mom, look what Tyler got. It's not even in the shops yet. Remember to keep the labels for your thank-you letters. -[Bobby] We will. -[Dylan] Look what Daisy got. Oh, shouldn't we be waiting for Lyla? She said to start without her. Oh... Thank you, darling. Oh, no, wait a minute. Oh, Dan, how absolutely beautiful, you dear, dear boy. [laughs] Um, sorry, hold on, everyone. Who's been at the presents? It was Daisy. She was trying to open them all. -No, I wasn't. -Yes, you were. Hey, hey, hey, calmer. Excuse me, darling. Sorry. Um, sorry, Peggy, this one's for you. Oh, really? Happy Christmas, darling. Dan, I didn't know you cared. [laughing] No, Tren-- Don't be stupid. Vicky, this is for you. Thanks. I thought it was so you. Really? So you. You can change it if you want. No. I love it. I thought we agreed we weren't going to give each other proper presents. I know, but-- I love you. I love you. Here. [Gobbles gobbles] [toilet flushes] You sure you don't have a girlfriend in Poland? No, I promise. Or a boyfriend. [chuckles] -No. -[laughs] Shit. Right, that does it. No. [moans] Dad, what the hell are you doing? [Trent] I might very well ask the same of you. [Trent spits] Lyla, we put our heart and soul into this place. I really didn't mean to ruin your Christmas. Well, you have. You could at least have waited. Oh, okay, when? When will be a good time to tell you that my entire life is falling apart? It's always about you, isn't it? It always has been. [gasps] I don't think you're being very fair. You've got Dan. You're happy. [sobbing] My life is hell. [sobs] Well, maybe we get the life that we deserve. I can't believe she just said that. I can. What is your problem? You've got a fucking nerve after last night. You watch your fucking mouth. Mom. Where are you, Mom? You wouldn't dare. Mom! Bee, please. She'll fire me. Is that what you want? Fire you? Divorce me. Fire me. Both. Good. It's what you deserve. [Trent] Bee. Bee. Bee. Hey! Bee, Bee, you have every reason to be angry. We were drunk. It didn't mean anything. We were stupid. I know it doesn't help, but I am truly, truly sorry. Slut. Open the door, Mom. Go away, please. Please, I need to speak to you. I have a terrible migraine. It's a really bad migraine. You wanna make it worse? -Mom. -Think about the consequences. Guys, please, I just want some me time. [Bee] Mom. Think about Tyler. Tyler's a brat. [Bee knocks on the door] Maybe she's right. Maybe this whole thing is a ridiculous idea. You don't even like the country. Oh, so it's my fault. I should have known. Don't be stupid. That's not what I'm saying. The stupid thing was getting into this without proper legal advice. You completely misrepresented the situation. How? How did I misrepresent the situation? You said the house was yours. I thought it was. That's what it said in the will. But, apparently, it isn't. That's what's called misrepresenting the situation. I suppose we could always move in with Miriam. Very funny. Okay, but there'll have to be some changes. -[Trent] You got it. -I need a new car. -Right. -I hate my school. Okay, okay. And I wanna stay here for a while with Aunty Miranda after you've gone. [grunts] [car door closes] [car engine starts] Vicky? Vicky! Where are you going? Vicky. Vicky. Vicky, stop. Stop. Vicky, stop. Where are you going? Sorry, I can't talk-- Please, please, I'll explain later. What the hell happened? What's going on? [Miranda] I mean... Vicky, how could you. [Vicky] I was drunk. I'm not proud of myself. I haven't told you the worst part. Bee saw us. What? She caught us... in the loo. -You mean-- -Yes. Do I have to draw a diagram? Actually-- Well, not quite actually, but almost actually. Oh, gods please, please, don't tell Dan. I feel so-- I feel so ashamed. Why does-- Why does this always happen to me? Because you're beautiful and sexy and... absolutely desirable. I'm a joke. Please don't go. You leave now, then everyone's going to know what happened, including Lyla. [sighs] Hello? [Bobo barks] Miriam, what are you doing here? I never thought I'd see the day. I've come to get Harry. [Bobo barks in the distance] [knocking on the door] [Miriam] Harry. Harry. Come on. Come on, open up, Harry. Why is it locked? [knocking on the door] Harry! -[Harry blows] -[Miriam] Open the door. Mom, what are you doing here? How could you? You promised. -About what? -You-- To leave the clinic. You promised, you promised that you would give it a go. [sniffs] -Oh, for Christ's sake. -Mom-- -Harry. Honestly, it's no big deal, it's just an old roach from the last time I was here. How could you be so stupid? No, no, no, that's it. There's no more. But that isn't-- That is not the point. You-- you can't do this anymore. Harry, you-- you-- You just can't do this anymore. Dan, Miriam's here. What? Where? [Miriam] Dan, the house is on fire! [shrieks] Dan, hurry! -Oh. -Jesus. -Dad. -Dan, are you coming? -[Dan] I'm coming. -Dad. -I'm sorry-- -Oh, my God. You're making it worse. You're literally fanning the flames. Thanks. That's really helping. [pants] So you're just gonna carry on doing it? Oh, my God. I'm coming. Coming. Please, I got to move on. Witek! Harry, how could you? Harry, come back. -Harry-- -He told you he's upset. They've already started painting the room. That's what you care about, isn't it? What? Don't be so ridiculous. Look, I am not the bad guy. Harry! Harry. I'm not! [sad song plays] Harry? Hi. Okay if I come with you? Yeah, sure. Wait, are you on your own? Harry. Gobbles? Have you got a wok? [Gobbles gobbles] You could stir fry the remains of the turkey. -A wok? -A wok. A wok. Wok. Oh, a wok. A wok. Um, well, we've got a large frying pan, if that's any good. Oh, that will-- that will have to do, I suppose. Can we get rid of the chicken from the food preparation area? It's basically a Petri dish with feathers. Come on. It's not just salmonella you can get. No, it's-- It's salmonella, campylobacter, listeria, E. coli, histoplasmosis mostly. Cancer. [both laugh] Worse, actually. I'm not actually joking. You should probably have special chicken clothes if you want to cuddle it. This is cool place. Yeah. You can forget everything up here. Forget? You want to forget? Oh, it's just an expression. Relax. Relax. -Ah, relax. -Yeah. Yes, I like relax. [chopping sound] Hey, look what Witek and the guys have brought. [Miranda] Hey, what is it? You don't wanna know. It's probably illegal. And if it isn't, it ought to be. No sign of him? Not yet. I'm sure he'll show up. I'm really not worried. No, you never are. Come on, guys, let's go have a drink. How could you let him discharge himself just when we finally got him into a clinic? Miriam, he's over 18. He can do what he likes. You think I had anything to do with it? Always going for the easy option. What Harry needs now more than ever is a strong father. [Bobo barks] You know, maybe if we just made a bit less of a fuss over Harry, he might be a lot better for it. I'm sorry, what is that supposed to mean? It means that maybe he's a lot less fragile than we think. If we keep treating him like a basket case, then that's what he'll be, a basket case. Excuse me, I live with him. I don't think you know what you're talking about. No, of course, I don't. Bobo, will you leave that bloody thing alone? [Bobo whines] It's none of my business, but I don't think any of this is helping. As much as I loathe the vacuous clichs of New Age psychobabble, co-dependent is probably the word I'm looking for. [gasps] -Ow. -Oh. -You shit. -[Dan] Ow. -You shit for brains. -[Dan] Ow. You deserve it. Woman is completely mad. -Well, you did ask for it. -I did not. Did I? [Miranda] It was a little insensitive. [sighs] God. Should I apologize? How dare he say that I'm a bad mother? He, of all people. [rock music playing] [laughs] Yes. Don't worry, I had a slight accident. Bumped into my ex-wife. Now you feel better. Ah. Priority. Cheers! [coughs] What is this? [coughs] [laughs] No, just don't, go slowly. Inhale. [exhales] Nice. [laughs] Do you like music? Yes. What kind of music? All music. Oh, you must have a favorite. I like Bryan Ferry very much. Hmm? Bryan Ferry. Bryan Ferry? Are you serious? I love Bryan Ferry. "Slave In Love." [laughs] Slave To Love. -Oh, yeah? -Yeah. That's it. Yeah. ["Slave To Love" playing] Inhale. The storm is breaking [laughing] Come on. Or so it seems We're too young to reason Too grown up to dream Now spring is turning Your face to mine I can hear your laughter What the hell are you two doing up here? [music stops] Where's Bee? I don't know. She's not up here. I can see that. [laughs] [scoffs] [Harry and Soon laugh] How are you doing, Harry? I'm good. I'm okay. Thanks. You look like you're very okay. Well, yeah, I am very okay. [both laugh] [text alerts] Jesus. [text alerts] I've been trapped in the twentieth century for the last 48 hours, and all I had to do was climb up this goddamn ladder. [jazz music playing] -We just don't need them. -No. And once you realize that, everything kind of takes care of itself. Ah, you're right. You're so right. -They are good for one thing. -Yeah. One thing only. Actually, I don't think they're even particularly good for that. [Bobo whines] [Bobo barks] [Bobo pants] Bobo, stop that at once. Now you've said that, it's all become very clear. Have you ever had a girlfriend? Uh, no. No, but-- [giggles] Lyla! Lyla. They're renewing the series. I got your money, 125 an episode. [Lyla gasps] Are you sure? I'm sure. I got the emails. Oh, Trent. Thank God. Thank God! Oh, my God, that's brilliant. That's fantastic. We are saved. We are saved. Baby, come here. Daddy's got you. [laughs] Everything's gonna be all right. [gasps] Do you promise? I promise. [sighs] I really do love you, you know that, don't you? I think so. I really don't wanna lose you. Oh, Trent, don't hurt me. Say hello to my sister Erica. Erica. Hi. I'm Harry. -[laughs] -[Harry laughs] [Harry laughs] [Harry laughs] [Soon and Harry laugh] [upbeat music playing] [indistinct chatter] Slow down. Sorry, everybody. I just have a-- I just have a brief announcement. [music stops] Lyla's series got picked up for a whole another season. -[Miranda] Fantastic! -Congratulations! -I'm so proud. -[Dan] That's amazing. [applause] [Trent] Isn't that great, everyone? Brilliant. Oh, I can't believe it. -Bravo! Bravo! -Oh, thank you. [upbeat music starts playing] [giggles] [laughs] [Miranda] We are gonna celebrate this. You all right, Trent? [clears his throat] [Bobo barks] Get off me. What on Earth is matter with you? You silly dog. -[all laugh] -[Bobo barks] You're a dirty, disgusting little dog. Ugh. [Miriam] Come along, it's about to midnight. Bed. -Goodnight, darlings. -Bed. -Good night, Mom. -See you in the morning. Good night, Dad. [Daisy] Good night, Dad. Yes. Whoo! [laughs] -Whoo! -[laughs] -Come on, Trent. -[Trent] No, I can't. -Get up. -[Trent] I can't, I'm injured. I'm so happy. [knocking on the door] [doorbell rings] Oh. [Trent] Oh [gasps] [Lyla] Oh, dear. -[Trent] Shit. -[Lyla] Soon's parents. [Dan] Trent, what's he doing here? [Lyla] Trent. [Harry] Wait, wait, wait. Hey. Mr. Wang. [music stops] Bernie, I think you're overreacting here. You, very disrespectful. [Lyla] Oh, God. Bernie, can we talk about this tomorrow? Please. It's honestly not such a big deal. Oh, fuck it. I write you e-email. You write me back, yes? I'm gonna learn Chinese. Don't forget me. [sighs] Good job, Harry. I think you made a bit of a hit there. Do you really think so? Without a doubt. She's a very special girl. You're a lucky guy. I'm sorry I messed up your movie deal. Ah, forget it. Never thought it'd come through. It's kind of a relief if you really wanna know. I've been thinking about your situation. Both our situations, in fact. I got a proposal for you. Really? Will you hear me out? Then you can say yes or you can say no. The family that you choose can sometimes be more important than the family that you're given. I feel a real closeness to all of you guys. Thank you, Trent. I'm sure the feeling's reciprocated. -I mean, it is reciprocated. -Of course, it is. Particularly this young man. I think I can identify with some of the issues he's dealing with, God knows. We had a long talk last night, didn't we, Harry? Yeah, we did. In short, Miriam, Dan... I want you to lend me your son. I think I can help him, and he can almost certainly help me. Uh, Trent's asked me to go with him to America. There's this great clinic in Arizona, and we're gonna do it together. What-- do-- I mean, do you have any idea how much those places cost? Oh, Dan, please, it's on us. I talked about it with Lyla last night. You'd actually be doing me a favor by letting Harry come with me. Well, that's incredibly generous, Trent, but we-- We couldn't possibly let you pay. Okay, can I-- Can I just say something? Strictly entre nous? The series is a piece of crap. I mean, really excremental, but it pays a shitload of money. Let's put some of those ill-gotten gains to good use, shall we? [sighs] Thank you for everything. [laughs] It's been great. And don't worry about the house. I'm sure we can work something out now that the pressure is off. Thank you. And please, don't you worry about Bee. Oh. You get Bee. We get Harry. Well, maybe we can do a better job with each other's kids. Oh, mm. -I love you. -Love you. And when the internet's back up, follow me on Instagram. Bye. Look, I can never thank you enough. [laughs] And I'm sorry it didn't work out with Mr. Wang. You know, there's the important stuff and then there's the important stuff. -[chuckles] -Right? Right. Oh, and, Trent, we survived, we live to fight another Christmas. Next year, same time, same place. You're more than welcome to come to us in the meantime. Oh, and I'll send you some goat's milk. Oh, please don't. [both laugh] See ya. -[Miranda] Bye. -Bye. -Bye. -Bye. [twins] Bye, Tyler. Bye, Aunty Lyla. Bye. Bye, Tyler. Bye, Trent. Bye, Aunty Lyla. [whispering] Thank God. [twins] See you next year. Bye. -[Miranda] Goodbye. -Thank you. Thank you for coming. -Lovely time. -Thank you. -Thank you, dear boy. -My pleasure. Oh. -Take care. -And you. [Miriam] Harry! Oh, and... Thanks for giving the old girl a lift. Oh, okay. And thanks for a black eye. -Oh, pleasure. -[laughs] No, really, for everything. I know it hasn't been easy dealing with it all on your own. No, it hasn't. And I'm sorry that I have apparently made such a hash of it. You haven't, actually. We're gonna deal with it together. [sobs] -Okay? -Okay. -[laughs] -[laughs] Take care. Drive safe. [both sigh] [car engine starts] -Sure this is what you want? -Yeah, I'm sure. I'm gonna make it work this time. -I know you will. -Yeah. I'm proud of you, Harry. I am. Take care of yourself, okay? [Harry] Yeah. See you soon. -[Dan] Bye. -[Miranda] Bye, Miriam. -[car horn honks] -[Daisy] Bye, Harry. Bye. Take care. Bye. [car horn honks] Goodbye, everyone. Love you. Bye-bye. [sighs] [Gobbles gobbles] Dan? What is it? [Gobbles gobbles] I could've sworn I just saw Gobbles. Impossible. [sighs] Never ever again. You say that every year. No, I mean it this time. Come here. Come here. Oh, that's nice. I just wanna say thank you. What for? For working so hard, for making it work, Christmas. I thought you hated Christmas. Yeah, this was one of the better ones in the end. [Miranda laughs] It was actually one of the greater. -Yeah. -Credit where credit's due. Don't be silly. We all made it work. [chuckles] [Miranda sighs] You know, this is the first time we've been alone... properly alone. So... what are you gonna do about it? [both laugh] -[Miranda] Good idea. -[Dan] Mm. [Miranda laughs] Oh, what the-- Leave it. [Miranda screams] Witek! [exhales] Old Mr. Kringle is soon gonna jingle The bells that'll tingle all your troubles away Everybody's waiting for the man with the bag 'Cause Christmas is coming again He's got a sleigh full, it's not gonna stay full He's got stuff to drop at every stop of the way Everybody's waiting for the man with the bag 'Cause Christmas is coming again He'll be here With the answer to the prayers That you made through the year You'll get yours If you've done everything you should Extra special good He'll make this December The one you'll remember The best and the merriest You ever did have Everybody's waiting for the man with the bag Christmas is here again Old Mr. Kringle is soon gonna jingle All the bells that'll tingle all your troubles away Everybody's waiting for the man with the bag Christmas is here again He's got a sleigh full, and it's not gonna stay full Got stuff that he's dropping every stop of the way Everybody's waiting for the man with the bag Christmas is here again He'll be here With the answer to the prayer That you've made through the years You'll get yours If you've done everything you should Extra special good He'll make this December The one you'll remember The best and the merriest You ever did have Everybody's waiting They're all congregating Waiting for the man with the bag Waiting for the man with the bag Merry Christmas! [slow music playing] |
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