Swamp Shark (2011)

Relax, man.
Get over here now.
Come on, man.
It's the gator fest
kickoff party, dde.
Calm down, Scott.
I'll kick your ass in the bayou.
Leave it alone, Scott.
Let's go.
You know what?
I'm getting sick and tired...
Jack, your daddy's
going to hear about this.
Your mama and daddies
are going to get
some nice fat citations now
from all of you.
Okay, Jen c.
Bring it on in.
You read me? Bring it on in.
I can't wait to hear
what he's got to say.
Howdy.
Looks like you had
a rough night fishing.
Rough ain't the half of it.
Damn thing killed half my crew
before I could get it
in the tank.
What the hell's in that thing?
You pay me
to find exotic animals.
Pay me.
I'm sorry about your men.
Bring it all.
Got it.
How the hell you get
that thing in there?
Blood.
Put another strap on. Quick.
Hurry it up. Come on.
Move, move, move!
Come on. Move!
Move it. Move it. Move it!
Hurry! Get it going, now.
Don't say a word about this
to anyone.
Sure.
Get that truck out of here.
Right.
What a lousy way
to start the summer.
Krystal!
People are out of water.
Come on.
I'm coming.
That ain't part
of the alligator show
they got around here, is it?
So your friends dared you
to come and get...
My number?
Who was that?
Oh, come on, babe.
Flirting's part of the job.
You know I'm all yours.
Well, in that case,
then flirt away.
Whoo!
I hope you're all having
a good time
here at the gator shed.
Family owned and operated.
Always has been,
always will be.
And everything
that we make tonight
is to send her sister
to college.
Yeah.
She's the one
over by the fireplace
that's pretending
not to know me.
There she is. Hey, krystal.
- Okay, it is 6:00...
- Right this way.
Here at the gator shed,
and that means only one thing.
Kill me now.
Who would bus the tables
for me?
Enjoy.
Thanks.
It is time...
To feed the gators!
Let's go!
Who wants to feed some gators?
Me!
Come on, now.
Who wants to feed some gators?
Me!
All right, that's better.
All righty.
Has a bite strength
of over 2,000 pounds
per square inch.
Its jaws...
Can literally
snap a man in half.
And not no little man like you.
big man like me.
Think your brother ever
gets scared of doing that?
No, he faced down
the scariest creature alive.
What's more dangerous
than a gator?
Well, a defensive lineman
from the New York giants.
Mm-hmm.
I'll show you.
You think he misses it?
What, being pummeled
so many times
that he can't walk
without a limp again?
Yeah, that's the one.
Yeah, he misses it.
An alligator,
he swallows his food whole.
His teeth don't chew.
He grabs on, spins around,
takes it down and drowns it,
and then swallows it.
Anyways, after graduation,
I'm out of here.
Can you run 30 Miles per hour?
Me neither,
and I'm pretty fast.
So I don't want to meet
one of these things
who starts chasing me.
Oop!
Cut Jackson off. He's wasted.
You got it, boss.
Ah, hey, mystery man.
Let me guess.
- Just coffee.
- Yeah.
You know, you come in here
every single day,
and you never order food.
I'm starting
to take it personally.
I like coffee.
This coffee?
Tastes good to me.
You know, I think
I've figured it out.
What's that?
You're a traveling
aluminum siding salesman.
- No.
- Okay.
Then I'm just going to have
to go with secret agent.
You were closer
the first time.
Name's Tommy, by the way.
So you have a name.
I'm Rachel.
I know.
I can feed them gators...
Come on, Jackson. That's it.
Okay, I'm sorry, folks.
Here you go.
Come on. Come on, Jackson.
People are trying
to have a good time...
hey.
All right. I'm sorry.
Come on, Jackson.
Get your hands off of me!
Look at you, Jackson.
I gotta go.
Come on, Jackson.
Swamp thing.
What kind of nature's that
anyway?
Aw, come on.
Can't play football...
mandling, head over
to the gator shed a. S..P.
We got called about a fight.
Copy that. We're on our way.
Come on, Jackson.
Jason! What are you doing?
Man, Jackson,
why'd you have to go
and do that?
Are you okay?
Did you see that?
Swamp thing
just knocked out Jackson.
Oh, boy.
Krystal, shut it down.
- Jackson, I'm sorry.
- You all right?
Yeah, I'm all right.
I'm all right.
It's just reaction.
I'm sorry.
Come on, buddy.
Let's go; Come on.
Come on, now. Rachel.
You mind stepping over here
a sec?
You have the right
to consult an attorney
before speaking to the police
and have an attorney present
during questioning.
If you cannot afford
an attorney,
one will be appointed to you
for questioning.
If you decide to answer
questions
without an attorney present,
you still have the right
to stop answering at any time.
Assault and battery, rach.
Doesn't look good.
Jackson was looking
for trouble.
It's not Jason's fault
that he found it.
You think any more
about what we talked about?
I have a boyfriend, sheriff.
I know, I know, you got
that bartender, Mr. flirty.
You going to let Jason go
or what?
Well, that all depends,
cupcake.
You going to have dinner
with me?
What if I told you
I'd think about it?
- Really?
- Yeah.
It might be nice.
Well, then I'd say that...
Maybe what happened here
was just...
little misunderstanding.
Little bit.
Thank you, sheriff.
Thank you.
Okay.
Let him go.
Yeah. Come on.
Get these things off me.
- Come on.
- How'd you do that?
What'd you say?
Hey, hey. What up?
Sorry, guys. We're closed.
Let's just get the beers
and head to the boat.
Well, if it's closed,
you're not working, then, right?
Um, I'm... i have to help
clean up.
That's too bad.
Maybe she can hang out
with us this weekend.
- Oh, that'd be nice, actually.
- Yeah.
I can't.
My sister would kill me.
Come on, man.
We're going to rent a boat
and go out to the lake
where the cops can't find us.
Does that sound like fun?
Well, my sister would kill me
and then stomp on my grave,
so...
Well, you know what?
If you survive, give my
boy scout a call right there.
Yeah, what's your name?
- Krystal.
- Krystal, nice.
Wear that. Wear that, okay?
Yeah.
Totally, dde.
Mm-hmm.
We'll see
how the gator shed does
with no gators.
Come to papa.
Come and get it.
Oh, shoot.
Gotcha. Gotcha.
Gotcha.
Hmm?
Ah!
Man.
It's a real mess, rach.
Tell me about it.
What the hell happened?
Gators are gone.
Gone? How?
Something ate them.
What could possibly eat
a gator?
What?
- Um...
- Don't.
Tell me what?
Looked like a... Shark.
shark.
Come on, rach.
Did you have
a little too much Tequila
after I left last night?
I know it sounds crazy,
but that is what I saw.
You saw a shark in the swamp.
Yes.
swamp shark.
Come on.
Go to hell.
You know, just 'cause
it isn't likely
doesn't mean it's impossible.
It is impossible.
Sharks live in salt water,
buddy.
Actually, not all sharks live
in salt water.
Medulla, pygmy, ragner.
And just 'cause a shark
is predominantly salt water
doesn't mean
it can't swim in fresh.
Bull sharks can live
up to three weeks in freshwater.
How do you know
all this stuff?
He's a genius.
Not really.
I just watch a lot of cable.
Oh, great.
We don't need your help,
sheriff.
Is that any way to greet
your future husband, Rachel?
You know my presence out here
isn't optional.
I got a report of a gunshot
fired at 5:00 in the morning.
You know I got to check it out.
Mandling out here?
Sheriff!
What the heck is that?
Looks like Jackson came back
out here
for some kind of payback.
You want to tell me about it?
I... i don't know
what you're talking about.
I bet your brother does.
I've seen a lot
of crazy things down here.
I'm not saying it's impossible.
I'm going to need
to bring you in for questioning.
I ain't did nothing.
I'm not saying you did,
swampy.
Well, what's the charge?
He's not being charged yet.
I just got to get to the bottom
of what happened out here
last night.
I already told you
I ain't did nothing.
Hey, sheriff!
What the hell is that?
Oh, God.
I think it's Jackson.
Oh, hell, no.
What'd you do, chop him up
and feed him to your gators?
He wouldn't do that.
I didn't even see Jackson
after he left yesterday,
and that's the truth.
So unless you got some evidence
that shows otherwise,
why don't you
just leave us alone
and go find out
what really happened?
I know what happened.
Well, are you going
to tell me,
or are you going
to keep it a secret?
It was the shark.
what?
I saw a shark last night.
I came out here,
and the gator pen
was all torn up,
and I saw it, I shot at it,
and it swam away...
It must have been coming
in here to eat our gators,
and maybe Jackson got
in the way.
I heard it all.
You're telling me
that there's a shark
in the swamp.
- Actually, medulla...
- Shut up.
Now, you listen to me.
I'm going to call
judge Masterson,
and I'm going to tell him
to shut this circus down
till we can figure out
what's happening around here.
- You can't do that.
- Watch me.
Sheriff Watson,
this is headquarters. Over.
This is the sheriff.
Sheriff, we have a 398
in progress.
I'm on the way.
I'll be back, cupcake.
He can't do this.
We got a 398 over on...
looks like drop 17.
He's not going
to be gone long.
What are we going to do?
Look for new jobs?
He wanted to shut us down
before his deputy got mangled.
Do whatever you want.
I'm going hunting.
- For what?
- For whatever I saw.
That thing
ripped our gators to shreds.
Whatever it is,
it probably killed Jackson too.
I say we hunt it, we kill it,
we bring it back
to sheriff Watson,
clear our names,
and save the business.
Rach, listen to yourself.
It's just a restaurant.
this restaurant, okay?
It's all we have.
I'd rather burn in hell
than be the one
that didn't bring us to 50.
We don't even know
what it is.
How do you hunt something
you know nothing about?
I may not know what it is,
but I know how to find it.
The insurance company
made me get them.
I didn't think
I'd ever have to use them.
Wait a second;
There are tracking chips
in all of the gators?
Yup.
- Password?
- Whodat, one word.
So if your loch ness monster
ate these gators,
then the tracking devices
are in its stomach?
Along with the rest
of the gator.
Obviously.
According to the website,
every ten minutes,
it uploads its location
to the satellite.
If it's moving,
we should get a history...
Look at that.
Looks like they're having
a town meeting.
Or that thing ate
every last piece of them.
Even if we do catch it,
how does that prove anything?
Easy, they can cut it open
and identify the gators
by their tracking chip.
How do we prove
what happened to Jackson?
They can take a mold
of its teeth
and then match it
to the bite marks on the arm.
What?
Catch a shark,
save the restaurant.
Who's in?
Damn it.
# 'Cause I'm a little sick
of it #
# don't care
what the doctor said #
# sure miss your company #
# so blow your nose
and stomp with me #
Are you kidding me?
I'll talk to 'em.
What the hell is this?
- What?
- The Dukes, the cooler.
This is a hunting trip,
not a picnic.
Well, I'm wearing the shorts
'cause they're easy to move in,
and what's in the cooler
ain't no picnic.
Well, the cooler can come,
but you gotta stay.
Mom and dd
would have let me go.
Mom and dd ain't here,
are they?
Rachel and me are,
and we're not letting you go.
It's not fair.
Look, I know you guys
really want to go,
but if anything happened to you
out there,
I couldn't live with myself,
okay?
We understand.
Look, I have an app
that's running
that'll track the shark for you.
Just be careful.
Thanks, Martin.
What are you doing here?
Coming with you.
But you don't know
where we're going.
Shark hunting. Small town.
We've got plenty of people.
Did you hear me?
Yeah.
Dude definitely comes along.
Who is this guy?
I still don't think
it's a good idea.
He's a stranger.
But he's been coming
to the shed for a while now.
So what? That doesn't mean
you can trust him.
Why not?
Just... i don't like him.
Something about him.
I think you're jealous.
- Of him?
- Yeah.
Right.
That's ridiculous.
Hey!
You're not really going
to call those guys, are you?
Why? What do you care?
They were nice.
"Nice. " More like in heat.
Yeah, well, it's not a crime
for a guy to like me, you know.
I... i just...
you just what?
Nothing.
Hey, stop the boat!
The transmitters say we're here,
but the tags haven't moved
for over an hour.
That's weird.
I found one.
Where?
Look, there's more.
Either our gators
disintegrated,
or that thing took a huge...
watch out!
Shark!
Did you freaking see that shark?
- You were right, rach.
- Yeah.
We gotta get out of here!
We came here
to hunt that thing.
I thought you wanted to help.
That was when I thought
you were seeing things.
We gotta call the sheriff now.
Kill it and go home.
Yo, look!
I got this.
Are you crazy?
Oh, my God.
Didn't even flinch!
Got it!
It's trying to sink us.
- I said stop it.
- Get off the wheel.
You want to get eaten?
Where are we going, Tyler?
What are you doing, Tyler?
Getting us out of here.
- Give me the wheel.
- No, I got it.
Tyler, we're smokin' real bad.
You got to slow down, man.
Come on!
You're going
to burn this thing out.
Oh, my knee!
# What up? What up?
What up? What up? #
# what up? What up? What up? #
# get your hands in the air #
# get your hands in the air #
Dude, that was classic.
- Damn it, Scott!
- Are you all right?
- What is your problem?
- Are you serious?
Like, you are absolutely...
- are you all right?
- I'm fine.
That was hilarious.
- Damn it.
- They're going to hear us.
You guys are...
they don't even know
where they are,
let alone where we are.
I know.
But can't we go somewhere
a little more private?
I hate you,
and I hate that you're...
You know, I did see
a little boat
tied up at the dock.
What you think?
Want to take it for a spin?
Whose is it?
Hell if I know.
Besides...
It's going to a noble cause.
Come on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I'll go in that water...
You go.
I ain't getting in...
Hey, guys. Where you going?
Oh, uh, we'll be back.
Yeah, don't worry
about waiting up for us.
We might be a while.
Oh, so you're not going
to have sex, then.
What... what happened out there?
Grab the rope.
Can you make it
up the stairs?
Oh, my... i can't believe it.
Martin, help me
get him up the stairs.
Leave it.
All right, put him
on the chair right over there.
What a mess.
My dad's boat.
I'll see what I can do.
Thanks.
What happened?
There it is.
Come on.
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
Oh, my God, Marcus, I swear,
if we get attacked by gators,
I will never forgive you.
Fair enough.
Oh, my God.
You're so paranoid.
Don't be scared.
Whoo!
Yeah, let's do it.
What is that?
So...
How's this?
Is this private enough for you?
Yeah.
I think this is perfect...
As long as we don't fall in.
Well, I guess we'll just
have to be careful.
Hold that pose.
Damn.
Here we go.
And...
Marcus.
What? Let me see.
Damn, I look hot.
No.
Look.
- It looks like at...
- What is that?
You know what?
Maybe it's nothing.
Maybe...
oh, God.
Maybe it was just your hair.
Marcus, take me back.
Take me back.
Please.
Seriously, Marcus.
Take me back now!
Take me back now. I'm serious.
All right.
You owe me.
Get me back to shore,
and you can have
whatever you want.
Would you go?
What?
Um...
That is a shark, Marcus.
That is a shark, Marcus.
Get us out of here.
God. Help!
Help!
Noah! Scott!
Noah!
Oh, my God.
Paddle faster, Marcus!
I'm going as fast as...
Marcus, paddle faster!
Help!
Amber, help me.
Help me.
Marcus!
No!
Help!
Help!
Get him something to bite on.
All right, hold him down.
All right, let me hold him.
You ready, bro?
Ready as I'm going to be.
Okay.
One, two...
Three!
Man, I haven't had to do that
in a while.
It could have been worse.
- You ready to go again?
- Yeah.
Are you psycho?
Did you not see that thing?
I mean, look at your knee, man.
Just give up.
Give up?
Friend, you obviously
never played football.
What are you doing?
I'm trying to fix this engine.
For what?
I'm going back out there.
Do you have any large
Crescent wrenches?
Yeah, on the deck.
Are you insane?
That thing has tasted people,
and apparently we taste good.
Now it's going
to keep on killing
until somebody puts it down.
You can't stop it.
If it breathes,
it can be killed.
What makes you think
you can stop it?
Hey, don't worry about it.
I can handle it.
We don't need you.
I see the way you look at her.
What did you say?
Stay away from my girlfriend,
man!
All right, that's enough.
Not now.
Now is not the time.
You're acting like an idiot.
Are you seriously
defending him?
I'm not defending anybody.
See, this is the problem.
You defend him instead of me.
Oh, give me a break.
I could have any girl I want.
You realize that, right?
You know, I think...
wow.
Tyler!
How you like me now?
- Do something.
- How you like me now?
Don't make me hurt you.
Come on!
Ahh!
You going to chill?
You going to chill?
I'm cool, man!
Troublemaker.
I have already.
That's... but that's the problem.
I've already said it once,
and now I've got to repeat
myself.
It's irritating.
Don't just say... just tell me
what you want me to do.
Okay, all right.
I really don't like...
I should probably go.
No, no, no,
it was Tyler's malfunction.
Good?
No, you're going to need
a bigger band-aid.
One second.
You were really cool in there.
Oh, I don't know about that.
Right.
She your girl?
Her?
Krystal and me.
No.
No, no, no, no way.
You don't like her?
I... i do like her. lot.
It's the friend curse.
I'm her buddy, so she's never
going to notice me.
Seize the moment.
What?
Take a shot.
What?
Something Martin and I
were discussing.
Seize the moment.
Dude.
No.
What?
Wait, hold on.
What?
Hey, how's your shoulder?
Any permanent damage?
Oh, no, it's...
you know, I think it's all right
thanks to nurse krystal.
I'm not sure
about old Tyler, though.
I'm sorry about all that.
You know what?
It's a crazy day.
Emotions are running high.
I'm sure everything
will be better tomorrow.
Yeah, well, it better be,
because I plan on
going back out there
to finish this thing.
There's not a lot of quit
in you, is there?
Do you want to help me, uh...
Keep hunting?
Absolutely.
I guess I should get going.
Yeah.
Uh, get some sleep and stuff.
I will.
And don't disappear on me,
'cause I'm going to need you.
All right.
Oh.
I got to lock up.
Get any sleep?
No.
You going to open
the restaurant today?
Until I see a court order,
it's business as usual.
You mean other than
shark hunting.
That's right.
So what do we got here?
I'm still trying
to identify that shark.
Can't find anything that looks
like the one you described.
That armor stuff has to be
some sort of exoskeleton
that's been growing for, like,
But, I mean,
sharks don't live that long.
Right.
Check this out.
There was a shark attack
three weeks ago
in the Gulf of Mexico,
about 100 Miles from here.
The attack happened
a few minutes
after this probe was retrieved
by marine biologists.
It's a probe
that had been crawling along
in deep ocean trenches...
I mean, deeper than
we've ever been before.
Wait, so you think this shark
is our shark?
I don't know.
Well, it would explain why
you can't determine its species
and why there's 100 years
of gunk on it.
You're missing the point,
'cause the water pressure
at the bottom of the ocean
can turn a car into a soda can.
Anything that can survive
at that depth is...
indestructible.
Yeah.
Tell me what else
this article says
about where it's been.
That's the whole thing.
The people working the probe
were the shark attack victims.
They radioed for help,
but by the time the police boats
and the recuse workers
got there,
there was nothing left.
Why in the hell
is it in our swamp?
You got me.
Now that Jackson
got his self killed,
I don't have a driver
I can trust.
Well, you've got to haul
this thing out of here.
No kidding.
Not like I can run it
through the department.
Figure it out.
This is your mess.
You're the middleman,
and things got screwed up
on your shift.
No more excuses.
I know. I know.
I'll figure it out.
You better.
Now, how are you going
to make this right?
Brazilian macaws.
bird.
Not just a bird.
This is on
the endangered species list,
almost impossible to find
in the states.
I can have 20 of them
on a plane tomorrow.
Now, you can grab
about 10 grand each, easy.
is a really nice haul.
Best thing come along
since them pandas.
Now all I need
is a little up-front money.
How much?
And 10 grand for the
custom agents at the port.
Get them to me in one piece,
and I'll throw another 20 grand
your way.
I like that.
Make up for this little
shark fiasco we have here.
Hmm!
You know, I've been thinking
about staying in town
for the delivery.
You don't mind, do you?
Knock yourself out.
Good.
I've always wanted to see
this gator fest
for myself anyway.
I tell you,
it's a real blast.
You'll have such a good time,
you'll wet yourself.
Get that freaking thing
out of here.
I'll see you at the fest.
# Well, last night,
you done went too far #
# can't go back
out to the bar #
Morning, ladies.
Good morning.
#... Way too fast #
# take it easy, boy #
It's about time you got here.
Sorry.
Had a late night last night.
What the hell we supposed
to be doing, anyway?
The sheriff told us
to keep our eyes open
for anything unusual.
What the hell's that
supposed to mean?
Well, you tell me.
Might have something to do
with that shark.
Heard he turned a cage
full of gators
into toothpicks and sloppy Joes.
There ain't no damn shark.
The sheriff done said so.
Now, just get your ass
out there,
and keep your eyes open.
For something unusual.
Right.
That ain't a shark.
Just get.
I'm just getting.
Damn idiot.
This is Cooper to mandling.
Yeah, go for mandling.
Everything looks good
on the dock.
There ain't no shark here.
Yeah, copy that, Coop.
Come on.
Okay, let's go.
Excuse me, officer.
Mm-hmm.
Yup.
Come on. Come and catch me.
Where you going now?
Here we go.
Ooh.
There... there was a gator.
Over there?
Big ol' gator.
Why don't you just shoot him?
I got to call this in.
Charlene, you there?
Oh!
Oh, my...
come on, babe.
Krystal, answer the phone!
Gator shed. This is krystal.
Krystal.
Yeah?
It's me, Scott.
We met yesterday.
Oh! Hi.
I mean, what's up?
You didn't call.
That's what's up.
Uh, yeah, it's been
super busy.
Well, forget about that.
You ready to join the party?
Well, I totally would, but...
two of our friends ditched us.
So lame.
So now you have to come.
Uh, well,
maybe I could stop by
for a little bit.
All right, we're camped
down at cypress cove
about a mile west
of whiskey river.
Do you know where that is?
- Of course.
- Sweet.
We'll wait for you here.
Make sure you save my number.
I already did.
I knew I liked you.
Don't be a flake.
# My soul is on trial
with a public defender #
Boom! That's what's up.
Hey, she's coming.
- No way.
- Of course she's coming.
Scott?
Don't throw it.
What...
you don't even know
how to read it.
Catch.
Come... no, don't...
man!
Careful, careful.
Careful with it.
What's this?
Well, that is a map
that Martin made.
So now we have a map
of all the places
the shark tried to eat us.
Actually, we can use it
to extrapolate
where the shark is going next.
Extrapo-what?
Extrap... never mind.
Sharks move
in concentric circles
when marking new territory.
It's how they hunt.
The center point is where
Rachel first saw it,
so you can see that it's been
moving outward since.
So you can figure out
where the shark is going.
I already have.
So where's it headed?
You guys aren't going
to like it.
Where is this thing going?
There.
Whiskey river?
The gator fest.
# All the girls
I've known before #
# have left me hungry,
left me poor #
# women come,
and then they go #
# why they leave,
well, I just don't know #
# another one
just walked out the door #
Scott?
Scott! Hi.
Whoa, krystal, you made it.
This is awesome.
Yeah, uh, listen.
Don't pull out on the water
today.
Don't go to gator fest.
There's something dangerous
out there.
You know, I've heard
a lot of excuses not to party,
but this one...
it's not an excuse.
I'm serious.
Okay, everyone's waiting.
Come on.
- Wait.
- Come on.
# Jenny turned out
to be a man #
# and kitty took off
with my van #
What's going on?
Join the party.
There's a shark in the water,
and my brother tried
to shoot it,
and it totally didn't flinch.
My point is that it's deadly
and we have to get out of here
before it comes back.
Okay.
We're on a boat.
We'll be fine.
I have another bikini
if you don't want any tan lines.
Take yours off and give her
that bikini right there.
Here you go. Try this.
It makes all your troubles
go away.
Well, I... i don't think
you understand.
It's not just going to go away.
Chill, baby.
We're going to have a blast.
# I ain't got no damn luck #
# baby, that's for sure #
Whoo!
# Margarita in LA chiquita #
# si, un chiquita #
# si, si, para mi #
What are you doing?
We have to get off of the water.
We're not on the water;
We're in a boat.
- Stop the boat.
- No.
- Well...
- Jesus.
What, are you crazy?
Give that back!
I'm not 21. I'm not...
give it back! I need that.
- No.
- Stop it.
Ah! Man, you know what?
You suck.
Dude!
- Really?
- Yeah.
Dude, relax.
You are out of control.
I'm sorry.
Look, when we get back,
I'll get you a new phone, okay?
What about the shark?
Well...
We'll stay out of the water,
and we'll keep it mellow, okay?
I promise.
Let's go have some fun.
Just stay close to the shore.
All right. No problem.
# Whiskey bottle #
# give me a kiss #
# and let me take a sip
of your love #
Gator shed.
Yeah, is Rachel there?
Yeah, one second.
Rachel! Phone!
Hello.
I got something
you need to see.
- What?
- Meet me at the hospital.
Uh, when?
As soon as you can.
- Yeah, ten minutes.
- All right.
Paging Dr. Calvin...
Back so soon, agent brysler?
Just want to take
another quick look,
if you don't mind.
Hey, give me a holler
if you need my help.
- Thanks, Larry.
- Agent?
U.S. fish and wildlife.
I'm sorry I couldn't tell you.
I've been undercover
for a while now.
All this time,
you didn't say anything.
I couldn't.
Besides, your place is my
little place to get away and...
and what?
And it was a good spot to...
what, you were
investigating us?
No, no, no, no,
I've been trying
to make this animal smuggling
case forever,
but I didn't have the goods.
Now with this new evidence
and your testimony...
wait, that's great,
but you could have
told me that on the phone.
Yeah, but then I couldn't
show you this.
Oh, God.
Do you know him?
I found what's left of him
in the channel this morning.
You all right?
Oh.
You... Brought me here why?
You see this?
Multiple rows of teeth.
Gators don't have that,
but sharks do.
Three rows.
That proves I was right.
Now I'm going to nail
these guys for murder
along with animal smuggling.
You were right.
You were right all the time.
In the meantime,
that thing's still out there.
Then let's go hunt it down.
Hey, this is krystal.
I'm not here right now,
so please leave a message,
and I'll call you back.
Beep!
Wow, you guys look like
you're busy.
We've been waiting on you.
Well, I'm just going
to say good-bye to krystal,
and then we'll be on our way.
I thought she was with you.
No.
I haven't seen her
all morning.
We gotta find her.
All right, well, maybe she
went for a walk or something.
- Uh, Martin!
- What's up?
Where is krystal?
I don't know.
Okay, well, maybe...
all right, she met some guys
yesterday,
some college guys here,
and they asked her to go
to a party with them.
All right, college guys,
party.
It's not great, but it's not
the end of the world.
No, the party's on a boat.
Part of a gator fest thing.
They go up and down the river.
- Oh, no.
- We've got to find her.
Where would we even look?
There's a thousand Miles
of swamp out there.
We need help, rach.
Got to call the sheriff.
I hate to agree with Tyler,
but he's right.
No, that's not an option. No.
It's serious.
I hate the guy more than you do,
but this is krystal
we're talking about.
We've no other choice.
Yeah, we have to call.
No, you can't. You can't.
Tommy's a federal agent.
He's going to call
a fish and wildlife SWAT team,
and they're going to comb
this lake
and bring krystal home.
Give me sheriff Watson.
Tell him
special agent brysler's calling
and it's urgent.
Special agent brysler,
fish and game.
Sheriff here?
Excuse me. Can we help you?
Deputy.
So you're a fed, huh?
That's right.
- Stanley.
- Yes, sheriff.
See if these nice people
would like something to drink.
Nah, it's all right...
- get y'all anything?
- No, we're fine.
Thank you very much. Thank you.
Well, fish and wildlife
or not,
this is still my jurisdiction.
I think we both know
those are navigable
federal waterways.
You want to have
a pissing contest about this?
Come on, sheriff.
You're a little
out of your league here.
Out of my league?
Every year, we get
a bunch of renegade gators
going around attacking tourists.
Now, that's not nice,
but there's nothing special
about it.
We've been to the morgue,
and the bite marks
on those kids prove
they were killed by a shark.
You expect me to believe
that there's a shark
floating around this bayou?
We all saw it,
and now we got hard evidence.
Those kids were not killed
by any gator.
Then what was
that big green thing
that almost ripped
my deputy's leg off today?
I don't know about that,
but look,
I've got enough right now
to call the governor,
get him to shut down
the whiskey river
recreational area indefinitely.
What's wrong with you?
People are hurting around here
since that oil spill.
Now, the gator fest begins
tonight.
You want to spoil the one thing
that still brings money
to this town?
That's where the shark
is headed.
I got deputies
all around this bayou, okay,
looking for gators and snakes.
If some kind of shark
pops its head up...
and that's a mighty big if...
they can handle it.
This isn't a normal shark.
You can say that again.
It's some kind
of hallucination.
Please.
You know
I can have you all arrested?
What?
I could call the governor
myself.
You know we grew up together?
You didn't know that, did you?
Tell him you and your
federal agent friend
are making a mess of things
down here.
All right, I'll tell you
what I'm going to do, sheriff.
- What?
- Help us kill this shark.
And I'll do everything
in my power
to get the prosecution
to go easy on you.
Prosecution of what?
Exotic animal smuggling,
bribing state and local
officials,
multiple violations
of the interstate commerce code
to start.
So you can lock us up,
but you can't shut us up.
We'll see about that, cupcake.
You're just going
to arrest them, right?
I mean, I... i only work
at the restaurant, so...
- Stanley?
- Yes, sheriff.
Get all these people
out of here now,
or put them in the jail.
Go on. Get out.
Get 'em out of here!
Is that a taser?
That's an x26...
hey!
Sheriff!
Go on; Get out of here!
- Stanley.
- Swamp!
Stanley, on your feet. Now!
Come on; Get in.
Wait. His boat.
Come on!
Back it up! Hold on!
Get back here!
I'm gonna shoot!
I'm gonna... I'm gonna shoot!
What? You like that? Sucker!
Ha-ha! Did you see that?
Sucker, sheriff. Whoo!
I don't like
that we left Jason behind.
First we save krystal.
Then we come back
with the cavalry
and bust swamp thing out,
I promise.
You three best turn
my boat around right now.
Bring it back.
That's a negatory, sheriff.
Your boat's just so cute.
Real fast too,
and handles nice.
Listen, chum-for-brains,
you bring that boat in now.
Okay, hotshot, we'll see...
that's enough of that.
Come on; Let's get
our game faces on, all right?
Can anybody read me?
This is krystal broussard.
I need help.
Oh! Krystal!
Krystal, can you hear me?
Rachel! They won't let me
off the boat.
What... what boat? Where?
We're in the swamp.
They won't listen.
I think we're headed
for whiskey river.
Okay, we're going
to come get you.
Uh, where are you exactly?
We're about...
no! No! What are you doing?
Krystal?
Krystal!
Here.
I'm trying to help you.
What is your problem?
She's telling on us, man.
Would you please shut
the hell up so the rest of us...
did it ever occur to you
that they might charge us
for that?
Well, get daddy
to pay for it.
No, my dad's not going
to pay for everything.
He's already paid
for this trip.
Now, stop laughing.
The whole trip?
Scott is such a jerk.
You want a drink?
Don't touch me, dde.
No, I don't want a drink.
Relax, man.
Stop!
You're going to hit the tree.
- Calm down.
- Calm down?
Does anyone want a drink?
Great. This is perfect.
This damn rain.
Krystal.
Got to go now.
She could be anywhere
in the swamp.
She said she was heading
to the whiskey river, okay?
We head over there
and see if we can find her.
I thought you said that was
where the shark was headed.
So going there is suicide.
No, no, it's called
saving my sister.
What, do you think the cops
are going to save us?
Hang on.
# And I'm slowly going
to pieces #
# but it's too... #
You okay?
Coop, come in, please.
Cooper, we got a 31-20.
Coop, can you read me?
Coop, can you come in, please?
Listen, I got a 31-20, Coop.
Come on in, please.
I'm going to go down
to the gator fest.
You keep an eye on Shrek here.
Yes, sheriff.
Since everyone's so interested
in me catching the shark,
I'm going to go find some bait.
Oh, man.
Dude, you broke the prop.
No, I didn't.
I told you
we shouldn't have gone.
Would you please shut up?
Dude, chill. All we got to do
is call for help.
My phone doesn't have
any bars here.
That's what a radio's for.
All right, short straw goes
to see what the trouble is.
You ain't special, krystal.
You got to play too.
No one should go in the water.
It's safer to stay here
until we get help.
I'm getting sick and tired
of baby-sitting you...
I'll take hers.
All right.
You're lucky
Noah is such a gentleman.
Well, let's show 'em.
Looks like you win, dde.
You guys suck.
Yeah, man,
it's definitely clogged.
Well, go unclog it, genius.
All right, hand me the pliers
from the toolbox.
If I'm not back in two minutes,
just wait longer.
Shut up. Hurry.
I can't get at it.
Dude, you didn't even try.
Go down there, and spend
a little more time
than two seconds, man.
You're hilarious.
What's going on?
- Scott!
- Scott!
Scott!
Oh, my God, where is he?
Oh, my God! Shark!
- Scott!
- Scott!
Shark! Shark!
- Come on!
- Come on!
Come here!
Faster! Faster!
Scott!
Hold on. I got it.
Baby, hold on.
I gotcha. I got it.
Cut it!
Hurry!
Come on. Come on. Come on.
Come on. Look at me.
No, no, no, look at me.
There!
That's got to be krystal.
Listen to me, baby.
I got you, baby, okay?
Stay with me.
Tell her to stay calm.
No, no, no, it's okay.
It's okay.
I got you, okay?
Tell her to stay calm.
How can you stay calm
like this?
We have to get out of here!
Well, we're still stuck
on something,
unless you feel like going
for a swim to get us loose.
Watch her!
Here. Here!
Go. Keep pressure on that.
I think I got a way
out of this.
Damn it.
What?
I could swear it came
from over here.
- Krystal.
- No, it's Rachel.
We're still trying to find her
before the shark does.
Crap! Oh, hey, listen.
I've been thinking of ways
you could kill it.
I was hoping you'd say that.
Can you get
to the sheriff's station?
Sure. Why?
I need you to help me
break Jason out of jail.
Really?
Cool.
Get there as fast as you can.
I've got to make another call.
Okay, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
So is it true
you used to play for the NFL?
I played a little ball myself.
Went all the way to state
my senior year.
I wasn't a starter or anything;
I was a backup.
But I was ready every game
for four years.
That's right.
The team really relied on me.
You know, the bench,
they support the team.
Hello. Deputy Stanley speaking.
Yes, ma'am.
Hold on just a second.
It's your sister.
Hello. Rachel?
Did he hand you the phone
off his desk?
- Yeah.
- Okay, good. Listen.
Mm-hmm.
O- okay. All right.
Uh, deputy?
- Yeah.
- I'm through.
All right.
Hey, give me the phone.
Unlock the cell,
or I'll pop your head off.
Benchwarmer.
Okay.
How'd you get out?
Oh, don't worry about that.
Hey, come on. Move over.
You know we got to go back
to the restaurant.
We ain't got time for that.
Now, move over. Come on.
I'll show you
how to drive this thing.
Come on. Come on. Move over.
Move over.
I'll show you
how to drive this thing.
Just be gentle with it,
all right?
- Hang on, baby.
- All right?
Hold my feet. Hold my feet.
No, don't go in.
You have to get
to a hospital, Sarah.
All right.
Hold on.
It's coming loose. I got it.
Come on!
It's coming.
Come on.
It's coming.
Hold on.
Don't go. Don't go in.
I almost got it. Hold on.
Rachel!
Rachel!
Krystal!
Krystal, where are you?
Rachel!
She's over there.
Krystal! Krystal!
Look, the problem
is that the shark comes
from one of the harshest
biospheres in the world.
It has to be built like a tank
just to swim around the block.
So what's your plan
for killing it?
Well, even tanks
have soft spots
if we can get the hatch open.
- You mean its mouth?
- That's right.
We got to get this thing
from the inside.
- I like it.
- Yes!
Hang on!
Krystal!
Rachel!
Rachel! Rachel, I'm over here!
Look, there she is.
This should work
for a can opener.
Ugh.
You see anything that'll
give it some indigestion?
Uh, that should do it.
Grab it.
Now all we need is a ride.
Come on; Let's go.
You think they'll let us
borrow the boat too?
We'll ask 'em later.
Okay, yeah. Wait, what?
Come on. Just get in!
Okay, I'm... no, me.
- Come on.
- I'm coming.
Help. Okay.
Oh, shoot. Oh, shoot!
We'll bring it back later!
Come back with my boat!
Come back with my boat!
Come back!
Rachel!
What are you doing?
Rachel!
Why are you stopping?
Get in there.
Hey, we can't get stuck
in there like she did.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'll never sneak out again.
We'll talk about that later.
Grab a rope.
I'm so sorry.
Oh!
I'll never sneak out again.
I'm so sorry.
You gotta jump.
No, no, no,
I have to get Sarah first.
Oh!
Krystal!
I got it. I got it.
You're going to let
Mr. secret agent man
get all the glory?
Just get krystal.
Come on.
Hurry.
Careful.
Tyler! Tyler!
Oh, no. Tyler, grab my hand!
Grab my hand!
Tyler! Tyler!
Tyler!
No! No!
No!
Tyler!
God.
Oh, my God!
I'm going to kill that mother...
we can't stop it.
We don't have
the right equipment.
No, we don't, but Martin does.
Head for shore. Come on.
Somebody help me over here.
She's really hurt.
We need this. Here, clean one.
Come on!
All right.
You son of a bitch,
I got a surprise for you.
Yeah? What?
Rachel, Rachel.
No, I can barely hear you.
What? Huh?
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, okay, we'll be right over.
Okay.
We got to go to gator fest.
Get your funnel cakes here.
# Every time
you get aggravated #
# I get shoved back #
# hold on to your anchor #
# you're gonna push too hard #
# I've been looking
for a cure, little girl #
Come on, Jeanette;
You can do better than that.
# You're gonna push too hard #
# I've been playing
every single night #
# for every wrong of your day #
# you can beat an old dog
so much #
# before he runs away #
# I've been playing
every single night #
# for every wrong of your day #
# you can beat an old dog
so much #
# before he runs away #
# jam up now #
How's it going?
The usual.
Some drunks,
some parking tickets,
a couple of pickpockets.
Ain't no sign of a shark,
though.
Let's hope it stays that way.
Never seen anything
like this.
Oh, what's going on?
Where the hell'd they go?
You see where they went?
Sheriff!
It's our damn boat.
Yeah, it's about time
you brought that boat back.
Tie it up first.
Get a paramedic right away!
Get e. M.T.!
Hey, sheriff!
What the hell is going on
around here?
She's lost a lot of blood.
Trauma dressing.
Sheriff, who's going to pay
for these damages?
Not now, Lassie.
I've got bigger fish to fry.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Okay, tie it up.
Go, go, go, go.
He's coming.
Sheriff, you need to get
everybody out of the water.
There's a shark coming.
Shark!
Sheriff, shark!
Oh!
Right there. You see it?
Get them kids
out of the water.
Get them kids
out of the water now.
Boys! Out of the water!
Hurry!
Whatever you got going,
now's the time.
Jason, go!
Swamp thing, go!
Huh!
Fourth and long.
Time for the hail Mary.
Coming through.
Uh!
Come on. Take the bait.
Shoot it now!
Get down.
Squeak!
That was never going to work.
Fire up the airboat.
Come on, baby. Come on.
Stay here.
Come on, you son of a bitch.
Martin, you're going
to have to hold this!
- I don't know how!
- Just get up there!
I'll tell you what to do!
Come on!
Just hold the gas!
Hit the gas when I tell you to!
Which is the gas?
- Hit the gas!
- Where's the gas?
Come on! Come on!
Yeah!
Boy, that shark's no match
for the broussard family.
Unbelievable.
What's he doing?
Squeak!
Federal agent.
You're under arrest.
Mandling!
Get your hands off me.
Not a chance. Grab the pole.
I want to see my lawyer.
Yeah, I bet you do.
Incarcerate this gentleman.
Okay.
I guess I'm in charge now, huh?
Come on.
You have a right
to remain silent.
Anything you say
can and will be used against you
in a court of law.
You have the right
to an attorney.
Looks like you got your man.
Now what are you going to do?
I could use a cup of coffee.
You know any good restaurants
around here?
Yeah, I know one.
Coffee sucks,
but the waitresses are nice.
That's good enough for me.