What is that doing
on my cake?
Oh!
Griffin.
Yeah, this could
be a problem.
It will be mine.
Go, guys, go!
Not a chance, baldy!
Go.
Oh, and it was
such a nice wedding.
Okay, I bet you're
wondering, "What's going on here?
"Who's the guy
with the bad haircut?
"And why
is he not wearing pants?"
Ouch.
"Who's that cute girl?
"Can you get her number?"
Clue. You can't.
"And who are those two?"
Most importantly,
you're probably wondering,
who am I?
Well, I can answer that.
I'm Griffin Bing.
Okay, you know what? Let's
go back to the beginning.
Morning, ladies.
Griffin, did you get the
chemistry test answers?
By GPA is saved.
Oh! You are welcome, Kirsten.
Griffin, tell me you got
the Carver High's playbook.
Dude, the whole team
owes you.
Whoo!
Go, Eagles!
Yo, Griffin, did you
score Final Annihilation 4?
Of course.
Unreal. This game doesn't
even drop till September.
So, Griffin, did you
talk to Amanda Benson?
Will she go out with me?
"No" to both questions.
What do you want, Griffin?
I've got collectibles,
comic books, action figures.
They're worth a lot.
Look, Eddie.
I love your geek...
Chic thing.
Uh, but check Amanda.
Second
prettiest girl in school.
I'm talented.
I'm connected.
But I'm not
a miracle worker.
Griffin! Griffin!
See my play.
Ugh, it's horrible.
I was on my way
to drama class
where I'm rehearsing
my original one woman play,
A Fresh Perspective
on a Freshman's Pain,
which I think is both
provocative and reassuring,
even if those
are somewhat contradictory...
Wait, Savannah.
Like... What?
Point?
Uh...
My point was... Ben.
He spilled his smoothie
all over Darren Vader.
Oh, no.
Griffin.
Not now.
Later, then.
Look, Darren,
I didn't see you there.
But in all fairness, there
are two victims here. I mean...
I am out one raspberry
mango smoothie, right?
Yeah.
Yeah?
Yeah, yeah.
And you're also
out of luck.
Come on.
Darren. Stop.
I got that stuff
you were looking for.
Yeah, he got it.
The real stuff?
Yeah.
So let's say you leave
my friend alone, okay?
Nice.
Hey, Darren.
You okay?
Mostly. All
I've lost is my dignity.
Ah, Ben.
You weren't
using that anyway.
Dude, Montana stinks.
It's in
a different time zone.
We can chat online.
Really?
You'll be talking about
people I don't even know.
Ben, hey, Ben!
Good news, Ben.
We may not have to move
to Montana
and live with your
uncle Grover after all.
You got a job?
No.
I've got this new invention.
Check this out.
I call it the "iGot It."
With a lowercase "i."
I got it.
Trendy... Ish.
Okay, imagine
I'm a lazy couch potato
wallowing in pork rinds and
failure, sitting here in my boxers.
I'd rather not, Mr.
Dupree. What he said.
And I realize, "Hey, my
drink's way over there."
Can retrieved.
Want the lights on?
Bang!
Let there be light!
Hey, where's the remote?
Bam!
Why, it's in your hand, man.
That's where.
Thank you, iGot It.
Actually, you know, that's
not bad, Dad. You see?
I told you one of these
inventions would pay off one day,
or should I say Saturday.
When I enter the Snake Pit?
Snake Pit, the TV show?
Yeah, three minutes
to pitch your product.
The best one gets, like, a
whole mound of cash. Right!
Now, I've scratched together
the $300 for the entry fee.
Now all I have to do is...
Oh.
Oops.
Decided to do
a little remodeling?
It's just a few bugs
in the iGot It.
And what's this
gonna cost to fix?
I'm guessing about...
Three hundred dollars.
So long, Snake Pit.
Hello, Montana.
Would you two
sweep this up?
The master inventor and I
need to make
yet another emergency trip
to the hardware store
before we show the house
to the realtor tomorrow.
What the...
What's this?
Um, must have belonged
to whoever used to live here.
It belongs to you now.
"Honus Wagner."
Nice haircut.
Baseball card?
Yeah. An old one.
Might even
be worth something.
Well, how much?
At least $300. Come on,
I know a place we can go,
but it closes at 6:00.
Hey, we should
look it up first.
No time, come on.
Trust me.
No, a deal is a deal!
You back out on this,
and I will sue.
I will take you
for every last dime.
I will squeeze every penny
out of your pathetic...
Oh, customers.
Got to go, Grandma.
Gentlemen, what can
I interest you in today?
Actually, we were hoping to interest
you in something, Mr. Swindle.
Ah, it's "Swindell."
Accent on the back half.
All right, what do you got?
Is it worth anything?
Uh,
well, uh,
it's old, huh?
You know,
it's good condition.
No creases or folds
or frays.
But, you know, that doesn't
necessarily translate to value.
You understand. I mean, who's
ever heard of this "Honus Wagner?"
I'm sorry, but this card
isn't worth beans.
But, look! Uh...
Aw, man, I like you kids.
I'd hate to see you
go home empty handed.
How about I take it
off your hands for, say...
Ten bucks?
How's that sound?
It sounds like you
think we're stupid, Mr. Swindell.
Sorry to waste
your time.
Oh, okay, okay, okay.
Okay,
you got me, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You got me. Yeah, it's
worth more than that.
Um, look, $100.
I'll give you $100 for it.
Ooh, is that the best
you can do?
Look, kid.
A hundred is generous.
Oh, yeah,
Griffin, generous.
Three fifty, no less.
No less?
Ah, no way.
Fine, bye.
Okay.
One fifty.
Four hundred.
What are you doing?
Two seventy five,
not a penny more.
Four fifty,
not a penny less.
What's your name, kid?
Bing, Griffin Bing.
Griffin.
I like your moxie, huh.
Reminds me of a young me.
All right, okay, you win.
Three fifty,
take it or leave it.
Take it.
Ah.
Three hundred
and fifty dollars.
Dude, you were like
a negotiating ninja.
You were all
slash, slash, slash.
And he was all,
"Ah, take my money."
Well, thank you very much.
Look, my dad gets to go the
Snake Pit, sell his invention,
and we don't have
to leave our home.
Hey, are there
any Pop Strudels left?
Oh, no.
No, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.
Ben, Ben, Ben!
Ben!
Ben, whatever you do,
don't read the paper or...
So you had the
good fortune to come across it.
Turn on the TV.
There are only
five known Honus Wagners.
Oh, it's pronounced
"Honus." And this makes it six now.
Thank you for
that. So what is it worth?
An estimated
$1.2 million at least.
How does one find a buyer?
Oh, I'll have no trouble
finding a buyer.
I mean, collectors
will be lined up for this.
I mean, the phone's gonna
be ringing off the hook.
You know, so... You know,
give me a ring. Give me a call.
$1.2 million?
Okay, Ben, I admit it.
He got me, okay?
I... I should have seen
it coming, and I didn't.
He's good.
I'll give him that.
$1.2 million?
Yeah, I know.
I was a little off.
$1.2 million.
Okay, Ben, Ben,
listen to me.
Okay, I will get you
that card back. I promise.
I will get you that card,
and you will sell it,
and your toes will never
touch Montana grass.
Okay, Ben?
Are those silk?
Yeah. I like the way
they breathe.
Nice.
Thanks.
You ripped us off.
Oh, you two.
Look, unless you've discovered
another priceless collectible,
beat it.
Give me my card back.
Oh, no, no, no,
you mean my card.
See, you sold it to me.
I paid for it.
That makes it my card, free
and clear. See how that works?
Well, you lied to us.
Yeah, we'll go to the cops.
And tell 'em what?
I mean, what law
did I break?
It's not my fault you didn't
know the value of your card.
I mean, you ever hear of the Internet?
I'm sorry.
But this isn't fair.
Uh-huh, face it, dude.
You got swindled.
Ah, don't feel bad.
Ah, I'll tell you what.
Have a mint.
$1.2 million.
Oh, it tastes
like failure.
I will find a way
to make this better, Ben.
Shh, can't get any worse.
Mom?
Wait.
Mom, no.
Mom, no... don't send us
to Montana, not yet.
What about the iGot It?
Dad can still save us.
Whoops.
You all right?
Just a few bugs to
work out before Saturday.
I'm sorry, baby.
Let's not get our hopes up.
We have to steal
the card back.
Whoa, steal the card?
"Back."
That's an important word
you're leaving out there.
We're just righting a wrong.
Oh, well, the police
still call that stealing.
We can't pull this off
alone. We'll need help.
Why is it
they call me freshman
when I am neither fresh
nor man?
Nay, I am more than...
You're kidding, right?
Stale bread
in a torn lunch bag
or gum
stuck to the bottom
of a worn shoe.
Okay, yes, Savannah's material
is a bit, you know, inaccessible,
but she's got it
where it counts.
Ah!
Besides, she owes me.
Hey, buddy!
You're taking up
two spots.
Sorry. I don't want
to get any dings,
especially from that
garbage truck you're driving.
Move your car.
Or what?
Ha, okay, all right.
Whoa.
Hey.
Whoa.
Yeah. That just happened.
No, absolutely not.
In the fifth grade,
Darren killed a kid
just by looking at him.
Not true,
but you prove my point.
Darren's tough, intimidating,
and, most importantly,
has his own ride.
Besides, he owes me.
Fine, but I get to pick
the next team member.
Go, Eagles, go.
Amanda Benson?
Really?
Other than being the second
prettiest girl in school...
Which you cannot dismiss.
What can she bring
to the party?
Go, Eagles, go.
Eagles, go.
How about that?
That could be useful.
Go, Eagles!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah, whoo!
And she does owe me.
Griffin Bing.
Is it later yet?
I've been a little busy.
You're always busy.
But I want in.
In?
Into what?
Into whatever
you're planning.
I'm not planning
anything.
Of course you are. You're
always planning something.
She's right.
You are...
Ben.
Sorry.
I can help.
I've got skills you can use.
You need me.
I doubt that.
Later.
So we've got our team.
And we're gonna get them
to do this how?
Ben, please.
No one can deny me.
Nope.
Whoa, wait.
Where are you going?
Listen, I don't want to
speak for these refugees
from the island of misfit
losers, no offense...
But this sounds a lot like
something the cops call stealing.
I told you.
Uh, sorry, Griffin,
but I can have no part
in criminal mischief.
Yep, that's what
my parole officer says.
Stop. Just...
Come back
and hear me out
for a second, okay?
Ben is the only person
who doesn't want anything
from me but friendship.
He's my best friend...
My only friend...
And I let him down,
big-time,
so I need to get
that card back.
We need to get
that card back.
Nope.
Okay, we'll do it
this way.
Savannah, who got you that
Pita King commercial last fall?
That was you, Griffin.
Right, oh, and by the way,
you make
a very convincing kebab.
Oh, with the chicken...
Thank you so much. Thank you.
And, Amanda, last year,
you were the third prettiest
girl in school,
that is, until
Megan Wright's father
was mysteriously transferred
to Denver.
You said you...
You did that?
No comment.
And how about you, Darren?
You want to keep that supply
of Latvian hair cream coming?
Latvian hair cream?
Okay, all right, Latvia...
Yeah, Latvia makes the
world's best hair cream.
All right,
nothing else comes close.
Mmm-mmm.
What? I like
to pamper myself.
Huh.
Face it,
you all owe me big.
Still nope.
25,000.
25,000 what?
Dollars. After we sell
the card, I will pay you...
In.
All right.
Pound it, team.
Pound it.
Fine.
So, uh,
when we doing this?
How's tonight?
We've been
watching Swindell.
Every night at 6:00 sharp,
he closes his shop
and steps out for dinner.
Wong's Chinese Garden,
"Best mu-shu in town."
More importantly,
every night, he sets the alarm.
Once it's armed...
Alarm sequence activated.
You may exit now.
We have 30
seconds to turn it off.
Then it takes Swindell
exactly seven minutes
to get his food
and come back.
We are go.
All right, Darren,
Amanda, heave-ho.
Aim me right. I don't want
to be a stain on the wall.
Stop whining, all right? You're
not the first person I've thrown.
Whoa.
Huh.
Oh, 18 seconds.
Ew.
It looks 1973
died in here.
You
have five seconds to exit.
Five, four,
three, two,
one.
System disarmed.
I mean, yes, Donna Hernandez
is "technically prettier,"
but could Donna Hernandez
have flipped up
onto that roof like that?
I'd say no.
We are disarmed.
Awesome.
Darren, Savannah,
you know what to do.
Buy us some time.
Oh, Griffin, this next
performance shall be my finest,
for I shall be thrust onto
the greatest of stages...
Floor it, please.
On it.
Reality, where you never
know what's coming. What is...
That's okay.
I'm gonna be fine.
I'm... I'm still ready.
I'm still ready to go.
Let's move.
This way to Mr. Wagner.
It's not in there. Oh, no.
It's not in the case.
But it's got to be here
somewhere. Start looking.
Come on, come on,
come on, come on.
It's not in here.
Check the register.
Yeah, I'm on it.
Me, me, me, me, me.
Total, ha, ha, ha.
- Ts-ts-ts.
- Oh, wah!
What are you doing?
I'm warming up.
You should too.
I need you to support my performance.
Wait. What?
Hey! I got
mu-shu here!
Get out of the road!
This is Bevie Montague for Channel
3 with another "Focus on You."
Sir. Sir.
Oh, sir, what do you think
are the biggest problems
plaguing society today?
Too many TV news channels.
So, Savannah, yeah,
you still warmed up?
Huh?
Come on.
Huh, come on.
Be here.
Ah!
Ben?
Ben, speak to me, buddy.
Seriously, who would buy this?
Okay, to be a
believable character,
you need a
believable motivation.
Have you found yours?
Yeah, I'm hungry.
Give
me the mu-shu. What?
Give me the mu-shu.
I don't know
what you're saying.
Dude, I... I said
give me the mu-shu.
Oh!
Yeah.
I don't think so.
Never get between
a man and his mu-shu.
Okay, good start.
I've got a few notes.
Shut... Shut
up. Shut up. Ah, shut up.
All right,
I'll give you a moment.
It's fine. It's fine.
Time for plan "C."
Can somebody help me?
Help, please, anybody.
Anyone, anyone...
Is somebody there?
No.
Oh, there is someone
there. Where are you?
I'm speaking
to you, young man.
Yeah, look,
I'm sorry, sis.
It's just, I got takeout.
You understand.
Oh, save your excuses!
I need someone to
wheel me to St. Agatha's
of the Righteous
and Redeemed.
Young man, I am waiting.
Ow! Hey!
Okay, okay.
Thank you.
I got a bad feeling
about this.
You scared me. I thought
you were a burglar.
Uh, I am a burglar,
and so are you.
We're all burglars.
Wait. Darren,
what are you doing?
You're supposed to
be on distraction duty.
Yeah, I know. I know.
But Swindell's close,
and actor girl, yeah,
she's sucking wind.
Okay, we got to hurry.
We've got to find it!
What am I supposed to do?
We can't find the card.
Okay.
Look!
Oh, this is perfect.
Thank you for
wheeling me here.
Now I can go visit my
sisters in the convent,
and I can see...
Um...
Young man,
I'm not certain this is the
proper route to the convent.
Oh, sure it is, sis.
I'll just point you
in the right direction
and let gravity
do the rest.
See you, sis!
Pray for me!
He's close.
Let's go.
Fate, you've
pantsed me again!
Ben.
Found it.
Nice Honus.
Down.
Oh, great.
Ugh, it's cold.
Did I forget
to set the alarm?
I always
set the alarm.
Alarm sequence activated.
Yello,
Swindell's Collectibles.
Bonjour, Monsieur Swindle.
"Swindell."
Accent on the back half.
Yes, of course,
Monsieur Swindell.
I understand you
recently acquired
the Honus Wagner
baseball card.
Yeah. It's worth a fortune
and a half. You interested?
Oh, for myself, no.
But my clients might be.
Oh.
They are very rich.
I am Anton Lefevre.
Uh-huh. And I run the
greatest auction in the world.
Anton Lefavor?
The Anton Lefavor?
Oh.
You've heard of me.
Yeah, so has every...
Whoa, nose!
I mean, knows...
Knows. Yeah, everyone
in collectibles knows you.
I mean, it's been my
dream to sell my stuff
at your auction.
Well, then, I am very happy
to extend to you an invitation.
The alarm.
This year's auction is being held
at the Lakeshore Hotel resort.
Can you be there
this Saturday?
You kidding me?
Security can't keep me away.
Selling your card at my auction
will make you a very rich man.
Let me write this down.
How do we get out of here?
We can't,
not while the alarm is on.
That's Lakeshore Hotel, huh?
This Saturday.
Oui.
System disarmed.
Pardonnez-moi,
Monsieur Swindell?
Uh, oh, that's just my
stupid alarm acting up.
No... No big deal.
Of course,
the alarms, right.
What are you doing?
Well, au revoir,
Monsieur Swindell.
I look forward
to meeting you...
- Come on.
- What are you doing?
Explanations later. Go.
Right back at you,
Mr. Lefaver.
Move.
That was so close.
Who turned off
that alarm?
No idea.
I did it.
You saved us?
You hacked into
the security system?
A little kid?
Swindell's security
system is a joke,
binary regressive code.
Hacking that was child's play.
I told you I could help.
Thank you. But you're not joining us.
I'll tell Mom and Dad.
Wait. Wait.
Oh, she's your sister.
Okay, you're in.
Yes.
Guys!
Oh, you guys,
Swindell is on his way.
He's coming from the...
You already knew that, right?
Yeah.
You had the card
in your hand, Griffin,
and then you put it back?
Yeah, man, hey, why are we
going through all this trouble
if you're just gonna choke?
I had a better idea.
Swindell would've known
exactly who took it.
There's no way you could
sell it to anybody anywhere.
We need to get Swindell
to give us the card, free and clear.
If we can do that, then...
Then we've pulled off
the ultimate swindle.
Okay, dude, Swindell's
not just gonna fork
over the Honus out of
the goodness of his heart.
It would seem most
out of character.
What she said.
Okay, look.
He's going to do it.
It's all going to happen at the
Lakeshore Hotel this Saturday.
How?
Ben, trust me.
So, what's next?
I have a new plan.
Amanda, we are
gonna need you.
To make this plan work,
we're gonna need
something special,
and I know just
where to get it.
I can't believe
I'm doing this.
Be strong.
Hey, Eddie.
You... You're Amanda Benson.
The Amanda Benson.
Yeah.
This is unreal.
It's like I'm in The Matrix.
Unreal is right.
Amanda would never
crush on a geek.
And yet, you harbor a
not-so-secret crush on her, yes?
And your point is?
Hey, Eddie,
can I come in?
Absolutely.
Thanks.
Okay, all right, wake me
up when it's time to motor.
Or we could make
use of this time
to review some basic
acting techniques.
Oh, okay, yeah, totally.
Uh, this is my "I don't care
what you're saying" face.
Is it convincing?
Okay, then, you do that.
Submitted for your
approval.
Welcome to my man cave.
Huh?
Wow.
- Geek heaven.
- Excellent.
Now find something
small, rare, and valuable.
I'm trying.
Pardon?
I... I'm trying to...
To take it all in.
Well, let me impress.
Check out my authentic Klingon bat'leth.
Worf himself held this.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
It's... That's...
Is that Klingon?
Oh, sorry.
Amanda, did I hurt you?
Are you okay?
Amanda?
Jeez, did I break
your glasses?
No, no.
I don't think they're
broken, are they?
Are they?
Look okay to me.
Amanda, we can hear you.
Can you hear us?
I think they might
be broken. Speak to me.
Um, I am speaking to you.
The earpiece isn't working.
She's completely
cut off from us.
Ugh.
Come on, come on.
Work!
Amanda, are you okay?
Um.
Yeah.
I'm fine.
Hey, Eddie, since we're
alone and nobody can see us,
I have something
to confess to you
that you can never,
ever tell anybody, okay?
Zooming in.
I love...
Me?
No.
Ew.
No, I love
your collection!
You've got it all.
Are you kidding?
Star Phase Metal Jacket.
Oh, Cosmic Dan
number 26
where they introduce
The Stranger?
Yeah.
Ben Kenobi and Darth Vader
in their epic showdown.
Wow.
Amazing.
Are these real
Star Trek uniforms?
Actor-worn,
original series.
And Griffin Bing said you
wouldn't care about this stuff.
What a dorkasaurus he is.
That's some hefty
geekiness Amanda's sporting.
We got scammed.
What?
Amanda Benson
is a secret geek.
No way.
A red-haired
Captain Cybertor.
Yeah. The blues
are a dime a dozen,
but the reds are
an ultra-rare variant.
Yeah, a factory mistake.
Most were destroyed before they
were released to the general public.
Yeah, but a handful
slipped out, super rare.
A red-haired Captain Cybertor
in mint condition, it's worth...
$80,000.
She is so hot. So hot.
Just breathe,
Ben, breathe.
Um, Eddie...
Careful.
I have to borrow this.
It's just for a few days,
and I promise it'll come back
without a red hair out of place.
Please? I promise.
I promise.
Just say yes.
Okay, but you have
to promise me
one thing first.
Well, guess who has
a date with the nerd king.
I got a
date with Amanda Benson.
What?
We saw everything.
The glasses stopped receiving,
but they never
stopped transmitting.
I got a date
with Amanda Benson.
I got a date with
Amanda Benson.
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
I rule, yeah!
It's like Donna Hernandez
doesn't even exist.
And the second prettiest girl in
school is actually a complete...
Do not use the "G" word!
Okay, when I moved
here three years ago,
I worked hard
to remake myself.
I will not go back to
being Mandy the mutant.
Mandy the mutant!
Mandy the
mutant, okay.
Oh, shut up!
If any of you breathes a
word of this to anybody,
I will hurt you in ways that
haven't even been invented yet.
Oh.
So hot.
Ugh!
Ugh!
Okay, we have
a lot to do to get ready.
We know our target.
The Internet is filled
with stories about this guy.
From nice old ladies to
puppies, he's robbed them all.
Uh, Griffin,
how do you rob a puppy?
He found a way. Look,
the point is, he is a bad guy,
and it's time
someone took him down.
Once and for all.
Nope.
Hmm?
Mmm, better.
Uh-huh!
Bull's-eye.
Okay, now this might
be hard to get used to.
Just take your time. Relax.
Focus.
Uh-huh.
Just think of what
you're doing.
Whoo!
Okay, that's good.
Why didn't you tell me
how easy this was gonna be?
Yeah, hmm.
This is so fun!
Well, that's beginner's
luck, though.
Hello, Lakeshore Hotel?
Book me your finest room.
How much?
How about your
second finest room?
Yeah.
That's... Okay,
that's a lot of backflips.
You seem like you
have the hang of this.
So I'm going to go.
I need this.
Ha! No, you don't.
Oh, yes, I do.
Darren, are you ready
to embrace acting?
Ah, you mean pretending.
It's a lot more than that. Okay.
A lot more, okay, you got it? Okay.
Ready?
Yeah.
I'm a bird.
What am I now?
You're holding your
arm up in the air.
No. But it's a tree.
Feel the emotions, though.
Uh, what do you
want me to...
I'm big.
Uh, I'm tiny.
I'm sad.
You're a dork.
Oh, what are you doing? Blowing
my mind is what you're doing.
Southern, southern accent.
Oh, we're southern,
some cheese puffs.
Chubbin'.
Cha!
Chubbin'.
Chubbin'.
- Are you... Are you okay?
- No! I'm sad.
I'm angry!
Okay.
I'm so mad!
Yeah, I'm so mad!
I'm so mad!
Oh, we're shy.
Oh, be shy.
Shy.
Your shy is amazing.
I did it.
Your shy is fantastic.
What? It makes who you are.
It makes you vulnerable.
That just happened right
there. That just happened.
I felt that.
Okay, we're ready.
Let's swindle a swindler.
Wow.
Yeah, "wow" is the word.
What a beautiful ride
from the country, huh?
Nature is so chic. Ha!
Allons-y!
Mr. Lefevre
has exquisite taste.
Panic attack.
Let's go.
Darren.
On it.
Guys, look, this is nuts.
We can't pull this off.
You guys roll out.
Ben, we got this, okay?
Trust me.
Melissa and Savannah
will secure our home base.
This hotel is stupid
easy to hack.
Hello! Firewall, anybody?
Okay, duplicate reservation.
Downgrade.
And give me an "A."
Upgrade.
And done.
Paula Swindell. My daddy
booked me a room here.
Yes, Miss Swindell.
Uh, "Swindle,"
accent on the front half.
My apologies,
Miss Swindle.
Yes, I've got you in the
ultra-deluxe crown suite.
Oh, "only the best
for my baby."
That's what daddy
always says.
Keep it on his card.
Okay.
See, Ben, everything's gonna be fine.
No one knows us here.
Except for my dad.
A laser hedge
trimmer. Wow.
The Snake Pit's really
gonna love that one.
Now, I call mine
the iGot It.
Of course,
this is just a prototype.
Uh, it still has
a few bugs...
The production models
won't be quite so sensitive.
Oh.
Don't touch anything.
Don't touch anything.
Call maintenance, okay? Get
someone... Get 'em on the phone.
That... That was me.
Did... Did I do that?
Yes, I think you did.
Look, Griffin.
We haven't even started,
and it's already not fine.
The Snake Pit is here.
My dad is here.
Look... I'm going home.
Uh-uh. No, you're not,
'cause if you go home, home will
be Uncle Grover's barn in Montana.
You need that card, Ben.
All right, your family,
they need that money,
'cause tough truth time,
your dad's not gonna
sell the iGot It.
I just have to work out a
few bugs. Okay, it'll be fine.
He still can.
He's just got to
work out a few bugs.
Hey, guys.
Watch this.
Pull me.
Yeah, that's right. Ugh,
I can't... I can't... Ugh.
This place is bigger
than my house.
Yeah, it must
cost a fortune.
Oh, that's mine.
Thank you.
Here you go.
It does, and if you
listen carefully,
you can hear the whimper
of Swindell's credit card.
Thank you.
Hey, guys, guys,
TV in the bathroom.
You can totally watch a game
while you're taking a massive...
Please don't say it.
No, bath, bath.
I was gonna say bath.
Ugh, hon, hon, daddy's
on a strict stinky cheese
and raw squid diet.
I know. Don't get me started.
The doctor calls it holistic.
I call it horrific.
Anyway, just send that
down as soon as he checks in
and charge it to the room.
Thanks, doll.
Was I loathsome enough?
You made me hate you.
You're so sweet.
Hey, Griffin, can we
talk about your plan?
You still think it's
crazy. Well, yes, and...
And you're afraid you're
gonna mess it up. Well, yes.
Ben, your job is key,
and you're gonna do fine,
okay? Can you trust me?
I know, and I do.
It's just, a lot's
riding on this,
and nothing's more
important to me right now...
The Shield of Barradon!
From Star Smash 2,
Evil Strikes Again?
Yeah, they're auctioning it
off here today, and I...
Well, I thought...
I mean, I thought
you might want to know
since that's your kind
of thing, not mine.
- Your shoes are in the room.
- Thank you.
Darren, we have
backstories to review.
Okay, well, we already
did that, like, 300 times.
Darren, acting is where
inspiration meets preparation.
Okay, okay,
well, we can...
We can prepare while
I'm watching the game.
I suppose, if that works
for you, then we'll...
Maybe we've prepared enough.
I'll never get that
out of my head.
Did you finally get
your gear in gear?
Finally? It took me
less than five minutes,
and it's way more complicated
than anything you're doing.
Okay, show me what you got.
Tapping into
the hotel surveillance cams.
Lefevre has just
entered his room, and...
Swindell's close.
He should be here in 10.
Not bad, Sis.
Amanda, time for your
visit with Monsieur Lefevre.
On my way.
Here you go.
Thanks.
Savannah, Darren,
you too. Costume up.
Darren, it's showtime!
I'm exfoliating!
Uh, good day.
Mr. Lefevre's complimentary
skin care treatment,
courtesy of Mr. Swindell.
Oh, yes, the petite,
sweaty, American man
with the unfortunate hair.
Please, viens ici.
I will sparkle
for the auction.
Hey.
Don't scratch it.
Excuse-en, sir,
but you are here
for der auction.
We are looking
for Monsieur Lefevre.
Don't know where he is.
We're coming here
to sell Papa's toy.
We were told it was
vorth a lot of monies.
Ya, monies.
Vorth... Worth a lot
of money, you say?
Mmm-hmm. Look-en.
Ya.
Oh, a red-haired
Captain Cybertor.
Ya, is it vorth the monies? Uh, monies.
Well...
It would be,
if the hair was blue.
- Blue?
- Yeah. Oh, yeah.
The blue ones are super rare,
but yours is red,
unfortunately.
- Red.
- Oh, yeah, red.
Yeah, the red ones
are a dime a dozen,
almost worthless.
You know,
I wouldn't waste Mr.
Lefevre's time with this.
Oh.
Monies?
Okay, now just a little more.
Now, we just, um, wait for
the rejuvenating agents
to, um... To rejuvenate.
Rejuvenate...
Ah, ah, ah, ah.
No talking.
No moving.
There you go.
Red, worthless.
Vorthless?
Yeah, worthless.
Floogin.
Jorgen has der disappointment.
Oh, yeah, yeah,
I understand, yeah. Ugh.
You know,
I like you kids.
I hate to see you
go home empty-handed.
How about I take
that off your hand
for, say, oh, 10 bucks.
How's that sound?
Oh, 10 American dollars.
Ah, monies.
Oh.
Yeah, monies, eh?
Suckers.
So, I pretty much
rocked that, right?
Well, your accent was iffy,
and maybe if you could just...
Rocked it.
I booked a room.
Yes, Mr. Swindle.
Oh, "Swindell."
This is my room?
Well, you get
what you pay for.
Oh, what's that smell?
Yeah.
Your stinky cheese
and squid plate,
as requested.
No.
Here we go.
My, my, look
how you glow.
I look like
the bottom of a baby.
Merci beaucoup.
Oh, you're very
welcome, Mr. Lefevre.
All a part of the
Lakeshore Hotel touch.
You are an angel.
Okay, all right.
Please, look at
my skin. Worship me.
I am beautiful.
Please, touch Lefevre.
Oh, yes.
Oh, I'm beautiful.
Swindell took the bait.
Jah, bonus!
Time to celebrate.
Hello, room service?
Yes, I'd like six...
Two.
Eight hamburgers,
four pizzas,
and what desserts
do you have?
Anybody else need anything?
Nothing for me, Sis,
but I could really use
a massage of ze foot.
Awesome.
Whoa, he looks
exactly like "Le-fever."
Ugh, Lefevre.
Nah, I don't care.
Yeah, I do.
Yeah, just add six
sundaes, please, thanks.
Amanda, that's amazing.
Thank you.
It's just some concealer and some blush
and a metric ton of putty.
Is that nose gonna hold?
It only needs to work
for a few minutes.
Hey, Captain.
You look like you're
worth a lot of cash.
Not as much as you, Honus.
Yeah?
Spa day with Mr. Lefevre?
His treat?
All right, yeah,
I'll be right there.
Things are looking up.
The spa's on the
second floor. Enjoy.
Swindell's on the move.
You're already late.
I move at a relaxed pace.
Whatever. I'll buy you a few minutes.
Au revoir, everyone.
Good luck!
Bye!
Going up.
And going down.
And going up again.
And then down.
And up.
And down.
And up again.
And up.
Ooh!
Hey, why not?
Let's go down.
Help!
Help!
Do up again.
Oh, ow!
You know what,
Melissa?
I'll say it.
I am impressed.
You are the most dangerous
girl in the seventh grade.
Aw, thanks, Bro.
Bonjour, madame.
Somebody stop this thing!
Ah, Mr. Swindell.
I have your squid
and limburger sandwich.
Uh-uh... No.
Ew. I'm done.
Ah,
Monsieur Swindell, come, join me, please.
Oh, hey, Mr. Lefevre, is that you?
But of course.
Could there be two such
noses as this in the world?
Oh, I guess not.
Oh, please, lie down.
Oh, okay.
You are in for
a treat, mon ami.
I have requested for you
my favorite masseuse.
Oh, nice, 'cause I actually
have been feeling
a little tight.
A massage
will feel real nice.
I know,
fantastic, non?
She is a master
with the muscle.
Yeah, you know,
I can honestly say...
Oh!
I've never felt
anything like it.
Oh!
Wait a second.
His nose.
Oh, no, this is all going south.
Hey, mayday, mayday.
Pull out. Pull out.
Your nose is melting.
I'm working here.
Abort mission.
Ow. Well, now
I'm in pain.
Mayday, I'm in pain.
My head hurts.
Abort mission.
Ow.
Thank you. I'm feeling
less hysterical now.
Stick to the plan.
Amanda, time for your date.
On it.
Oh.
Whoa.
You look really good in black.
You should
wear it more often.
Thanks.
That's really sweet
of you and um,
kind of awkward.
I think she likes me.
No.
Uh-oh, Lefevre is
leaving his room.
No, well, if Swindell
sees him, we're done.
If he sees Griffin,
we're worse.
Excellent time
for improvisational theater.
Come on, Darren.
Wait. Wait.
Who's my character?
No, no, wait, wait, wait,
hey, hey. What's my backstory?
Ooh, this
should be good.
Donald P. Luddler, I have never
been so angry in all my life.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, what's this,
what's this all about, Darlene?
I saw you with that girl by the pool!
You should have whiplash the
way you were taking her curves.
No, I swear. I swear.
I didn't even notice
her or her curves.
Oh!
Why? We're acting.
Just stay in the moment.
Just stay in the
moment.
You are such a liar!
No, no, I am not.
This elevator is not going
anywhere until you admit it.
Pardonnez-moi. I have a very
important auction, and I must...
You stay out of this!
Hooked in.
Sending you
the call now.
Oh...
This
man will not leave me alone.
What man?
Ivan Volkov,
big spender,
big collector.
Been searching for
years for the same item.
A red-haired
Captain Cybertor figure.
Oh, really?
I had one
all lined up, but alas,
the sellers,
they never arrived.
Oh, ha, ha.
Those things happen.
Oh!
Yes, but
he keeps calling me.
I do not like disappointing
a man like Volkov.
He is, how you say,
a ruthless man.
One cannot overstate
the gravity of...
Of the gravity...
The gravity of...
Mayday, mayday, pull out.
Mission abort.
Um...
Whew!
I'm in.
Acknowledged.
You'll never catch Donna
Hernandez doing this.
Um...
Uh, Mr.
Lefevre, you okay there?
Uh, yes,
yes, I'm quite all right.
Oh, no, you're not.
Yes, I am.
It's just, uh, uh...
My allergies seem to be bothering me.
Lie still!
All he ever does is
criticize me. Okay, oh.
He thinks my dreams of
becoming an actress are stupid.
Hug me.
I want a hug.
What?
I, I never said that.
I never did.
Oh, you know what?
You didn't have to.
Oh, the hillbillies...
Oh, look at the time.
So much to do.
Oh, thank you.
Au revoir, Mr. Swindell.
What? Hey, where you going?
I said lie still!
Oh, maybe I can...
No, hey, stay!
He doesn't take acting
seriously at all. It's just...
It's one big joke to you.
Yeah, I do, I do joke around.
All right, but I don't
mean nothing by it.
Well, it means
something to me.
It hurts, Dar...
Donald, I mean.
You know,
ever think of that?
No, no, I didn't.
I never meant
to hurt you, Savannah...
Or Darlene,
and I promise that I will
never hurt you again.
Yes, yes, yes,
this is what you must do.
Just as I must attend
my auction.
Au revoir.
Bye, now.
This acting thing
is kind of awesome!
See, a performance can be a constructive
outlet for life's frustrations.
Yeah, yeah, even more
than pounding things.
Mmm-hmm.
Ooh, went
smooth as glass.
Broken glass.
Well, it worked, anyway.
How's Amanda doing?
She's almost there.
All right. Ben!
Yep.
Oh, you're up.
Is the moustache working?
Overtime.
All right.
Moustache,
can you see him?
Yes.
Here he comes.
Uh, no, no, it was
great. I feel very loose.
Here's my card.
Call me, maybe.
Thanks.
And drink
plenty of water.
It's simple.
You get me red-haired
Captain Cybertor
Or I break you!
Do svidanya.
Pardon me, Mr. Volkov?
Nobody approaches.
Keep walking,
little man.
Alexei, Boris, let go.
This little man is Swindell.
Swindell, accent on
the back half, but...
It and, you know, it...
Swindell's
with the Russian.
I see you on the TVs,
Mr. Swindell.
Today, I buy your Honus card.
Oh, great, great, yeah.
And actually, I've come to talk
to you about another collectible.
I, uh...
I understand you're looking for
a red-haired Captain Cybertor.
Da.
Why?
You have?
Oh, yeah, I have.
I have.
This is good, little man.
Yeah.
Bring it to me.
Yeah.
I'll...
The weasel
has left the building.
Huh?
Swindell's on his way
back to his room.
Oh, not doing that again.
Uh...
How's she doing?
Amanda, where are you?
I'm in Swindell's room.
Well, make the switch.
Swindell's coming your way fast.
Move it!
Hello, handsome.
Say cheese.
Show off.
Making the switch.
You'll make me a rich man.
Welcome to the Snake
Pit, sir. And your name?
Ben, what's your status?
Waiting for the weasel
to join the bar mitzvah.
What? Waiting for Swindell to return.
He's never gonna sell
that thing.
One
red-haired Captain Cybertor
in mint condition.
Eighty thousand
American dollars.
What?
You do not
trust Ivan Volkov?
What?
Oh, no, no, no.
No, I was just, you know,
just checking it out.
I am man of honor.
If I say there is $80,000,
there is $80,000.
Well, yeah, no,
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
I mean, no offense
intended, Mr. Volkov.
I do not look in box
you give to me.
Do you know why?
Because, uh...
I'm a man of honor too?
No.
Oh.
Because last man who tried
to cheat Ivan Volkov...
Well, no one knows what
happened to him.
No one but me,
Alexei, and Boris.
You understand, da?
Da, yeah, very da.
Pleasure doing business
with you, Mr. Swindell.
I see you at auction later.
I buy your Honus card, eh?
Oh.
Thank you.
Status, please.
Is the deal done? What?
Oh, uh, oops.
I mean, uh, pardon
the, uh, the inconvenience.
Do I know you?
Uh, no. Mmm-mmm.
I, uh...
Ow!
You're the kid
with the Honus card.
I see.
Squid, limburger.
You've been messing
with me all day.
Run away!
Jackpot!
Who's the sucker
paying for this?
Aha!
Ah, Mr. Swindell, we've
been waiting for you.
Oh, yeah?
Wait.
Monies?
You know, Swindell,
you're actually
five minutes later
than we thought.
I can't believe
that plan worked.
Oh, wait, wait.
You intentionally
dropped your card?
What's going on here?
Funny story, um,
well, for us, anyway.
You know how you
just sold to Mr. Volkov
a red-haired
Captain Cybertor?
Yeah. You actually sold
him a regular old blue one.
Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no,
I sold him a red one.
You mean this one?
How did...
How did... That was in my...
Hello.
By the way, nice room.
Do you have any idea what that crazy
Russian Volkov's gonna do to me?
Yeah, I do, pretty
graphically, actually.
So here's
what's going to happen.
We'll give you this
red-haired Captain Cybertor,
and in return,
you give us...
Free and clear.
The Honus Wagner card.
And you might
want to hurry,
'cause that crazy Russian
seems pretty angry.
Where is Swindell?
I break him!
Oh, no,
this can't be happening.
It's over.
Now give us the card.
I break him very much!
- Aw.
- Face it, dude.
You just got swindled.
Give me that!
Catch it!
Hey, hey.
There you go.
Come on!
Catch!
What?
No, no.
Here we go, okay.
Cake coming through.
Oops.
Really?
Well, athletics
are not my strong suit.
Whoa, whoa,
wait, wait, wait, wait.
Is this not part
of the plan?
No! Get out of my way!
Go, go, go, go,
go, go, go.
Quick.
Hold it!
Hold it! Hold it! Hey!
Hey, hey, hey!
Hey, hey!
Swindell!
Sorry, coming through.
Here they come.
Welcome to the Snake Pit.
Our next four inventors
are ready.
Inventors,
start your inventions!
This is the world's
strongest vacuum.
Okay, just imagine,
your soda's way over there.
Sorry, look, we're shooting
here. You have to wait.
Safety goggles, please.
So you just press this button.
This is my laser
hedge trimmer.
Press here.
Do it again.
Just press this button. Out of my way.
Swindell!
Ben?
Sorry.
That's not good.
Stop that cake!
Oh!
Keep working out
those bugs, Dad.
Oh, okay.
Son? What did you say
you called that again?
The iGot It?
With a lowercase "i."
Trendy... Ish.
Go, go!
Come on!
Come on.
Stairs!
Go! Come on!
Go!
Go!
Sorry!
Swindell,
he's getting away!
What?
It's locked.
What do we do?
There's got to be
another way in.
This way.
- Coming through.
- Sorry.
- Move.
- Excuse me.
And now the father
of the bride,
Mr. Stroumboulopoulos.
Whoa.
For my daughter
and my new son...
What do we do now?
Thinking.
I wish them a lifetime
of happiness together!
Opa!
Opa!
And now for someone
who needs no introduction.
Please welcome,
from all the way
from my old country,
our dear, dear,
Me!
Wow, thank you so much
for that glowing introduction,
Papa Stroumboulopoulos.
Congratulations,
by the way.
You guys look beautiful.
You all look stunning.
How are you?
Good to see you.
Hey, I am not the only one to make
it all the way from the old country.
So why don't we all get up
and give a warm
hug of a welcome
to crazy cousin Demetri.
Where is that knucklehead?
Oh, can we
get a spotlight, please?
Ah, there he is!
Demetri!
Demetri!
Yeah, show him some
Stroumboulopoulos love.
- Yeah!
- Oh!
Yes. Dying
for hugs there.
Get in there.
Hug him!
He came all this way.
Oh.
Is he one of yours?
Demetri, good to see you!
- Oh!
- Aw, what a beautiful moment.
Yes, that's great.
Well, look at the time.
I have rambled on long enough.
I think there's only
one thing left to say
and that's...
Everybody dance!
Come alive! Whoo!
# Hey, I just met you
# And this is crazy...
I love this song!
Hey!
# So call me maybe
# It's hard to look right
at you, baby
# But here's my number
# So call me maybe
# Hey, I just met you
# And this is crazy
# But here's my number
# So call me maybe
# Hey, I just met you
# And this is crazy
# But here's my number
# So call me maybe
# And all the other boys
# Try to chase me
# But here's my number
# So call me maybe
# Hey, I just met you
# And this is crazy
# But here's my number
# So call me maybe
# And all the other boys
# Try to chase me
# But here's my number
# So call me maybe
What is that doing
on my cake?
Daddy!
Griffin?
Yeah, this could
be a problem.
Uh...
It will be mine.
Go, guys, go!
Not a chance, baldy!
Oh!
Go, go!
Oh, and it was
such a nice wedding.
Oh!
Stop, stop!
Oh!
Mmm.
Oh, baby, I missed you.
Oh!
What is it?
You!
You ruined
my daughter's wedding!
Sir, from the bottom
of my heart...
I don't care.
- He's getting away!
- Griffin!
Someday you'll look back
and laugh.
Bye.
Swindell!
Game over!
Late breaking score,
I win, you lose.
I got the red-head
Captain Cybertor.
I got the Honus.
And you, Bing,
Griffin Bing, got...
Oh!
Where is Swindell?
Oh...
I pay for
red-haired Captain Cybertor.
So you give to me
red-haired Captain Cybertor
or I get angry.
I don't... I don't have the
red-headed Captain Cybertor.
These kids.
No talk, Swindell.
Cybertor. Now.
Um...
We have one.
A red-haired
Captain Cybertor figure.
We could sell it to you,
Mr. Swindell.
Original offer still stands.
No?
Okay, then.
He's all yours, Mr. Volkov.
Oh, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no.
Okay!
Okay, okay!
You win, Bing.
Here, it's yours,
free and clear.
Fine.
Your card.
I've never doubted you. You did.
Only a little.
What? Oh, yes.
There we go.
Here you go.
Da. Red hair.
Good.
Good, good.
Good.
Good is good!
Yeah, yeah?
You got your red-haired Captain
Cybertor. I got my money.
Everything's good, right?
No.
Oh.
You run now, Swindell.
Run...
And never stop.
I wasn't looking!
Your plan worked just like
you said it would, Griffin.
It did! Feeling pretty
egotastic right now.
And you!
You were amazing.
Did you really think so,
Savannah?
I had a blast.
And, fellas,
the real kudos go to you.
You buoyed and grounded
my performance.
Our pleasure,
Mr. Westcott.
Any chance to work
with the master.
You must be Darren.
My daughter, Savannah,
has told me all about you.
Says you have
some real talent.
I was telling Darren
he should enroll
in your acting classes.
OMG. Don't even think.
Just do it.
Uh, all right,
all right, I'm in.
Yes, he's in!
You ready to make
a million dollars?
$1.2 million.
I like the sound of that.
Whoo!
Thank you.
Oh, man, thank you.
Thank you.
Whoo!
Pardonnez-moi!
Oh, hi.
I have one small question.
Who are you people and why
are you disrupting my auction?
Um, actually,
that's two questions.
Who are we?
Yes, mmm-hmm?
We are the true owners of an
authentic Honus Wagner card.
Oh!
And good news.
We're selling.
Bonjour. Please, right
this way. Thank you.
Right into the biddings.
Let's start the bidding
at $500,000!
Oh!
This isn't $80,000.
Oh, no.
Oh, no, no, no!
Oh, no!
Oh, no, no.
- What?
- Mr. Swindell?
Your bill.
Crown penthouse
luxury suite?
Eight hamburgers,
six pizzas,
10 sundae supremes,
12 shrimp cocktail?
Deep tissue massage?
Thirty five thousand dollars?
Bing!
Bing!
Monies, ya.
I can't thank
you guys enough.
Dude, this goes a long way. Yeah,
what did your parents say when
you got home with the money?
They were overjoyed,
no doubt.
Actually, no.
Turns out they didn't need
the money. Like, at all.
Well, I'm, I'm confused.
Explain, please.
The iGot It was a big hit
at the Snake Pit.
Dad's got thousands of orders from
police stations all across the country.
I just bought stock
in the company.
Mmm, smart girl.
Nice, but what'd you do
with the rest of the money?
First, I sent
the Stroumboulopouloses
on a sweet honeymoon
they'll never forget.
The least you could do. Good idea.
And then I bought this.
Whew!
The Shield of Barradon!
Do I look
like the poster?
You know what?
You kind of do.
What's happening?
That's still a lot
of money left over.
Well, I was thinking we had enough
to pay for everyone's college.
- Nice.
- Sweet.
Dude, that's, that's awesome. Yeah!
Oh.
Yeah.
And as for the rest of it,
we earned it together,
we'll spend it together.
Now, that is a plan
I can embrace.
But on what?
Helping people.
Who?
Excuse me.
Are you Griffin Bing?
Yeah.
Can you help me?
I had this blue parrot
named Berry...
Blue Berry, cute.
And I left him to get
groomed at this pet shop.
But when I got back, the shop
owner told me Berry had died.
Except he didn't.
He's selling him
to a man in Las Vegas.
Vegas?
Why would anybody go through
that much trouble for a bird?
Berry is a rare
blue mutation Amazon
worth $20,000.
Ha! Well,
that's a good reason.
Can you help me?
Yes, I think we can.
So, I'm Griffin Bing.
And this is the team.
And we take down swindlers.