Yeah
Yeah
Baby, don't make me spell it out
For you
All of the feelings
That I've got for you
Can't be explained
But I can try for you
Yeah, baby
Don't make me spell it out for you
You keep on asking me the same questions
Why?
What's the big deal
with this book, anyway?
It's apparently all deep, but I have
no idea what it's supposed to be about.
It's... It's about alienation.
An alien nation? What?
What chapter is that in?
No, no. Alienation.
It's about Ignatius
trying to find acceptance
in a world that wants
nothing to do with him.
Well, maybe he would find acceptance
if he wasn't such a know-it-all?
I think his showing off his intelligence
is just a way of protecting himself,
which is kind of tragic because
the alienation is
the source of his strength, but then...
But it's also the source of his problems.
I think you're starting to get it.
Um, I should probably go.
Hey, look, you know...
I know I've only known you
for, like, two minutes, but...
would you maybe wanna...
Would I maybe wanna what?
Um, never... Never mind.
Never... Never mind.
You know that
really, really, really tall girl
that you go to school with?
The one that people call LeBron,
Skyscraper, Daddy Long Legs?
Well, that's me.
Sixteen years old, six foot one.
And a half.
Growing up, my height was
of immense concern to my father.
Dr. Seeger,
our daughter is three years old.
She just reached four feet.
It's not stopping.
Can't we give her hormones?
I read that diethylstilbestrol is very
effective in stunting a child's growth.
Honey, I don't think it's good to take
anything with that many consonants.
In some girls, diethylstilbestrol
has successfully stunted growth.
You know, in others,
it's caused a host of health problems.
Infertility being one of them.
Honey, this may be
too soon to talk about, but
do you even want kids?
I continued to grow at a rapid pace.
And guess what?
Having back row, center placement
in all of your class photos
isn't exactly a self-esteem booster.
Now I'm just trying to get through the day
with as few people as possible
asking me...
Well, how's the weather up there?
You think your life is hard?
I'm a high school junior
wearing size 13 Nikes.
Men's size 13 Nikes.
Beat that.
Ooh, you better
Ooh, you better
You better hit it
'Cause you should know better
Touch down on the stage
And know I ain't come to play
Clap, clap when I sing
So I know that you feelin' me
Oh, if you live this loud
Show it, show it, show it, oh
Fareeda, how much longer
do I have to endure this?
Just trying to start my next class off
on a high note.
Well, I start every class off
on a high note.
Wow.
Mocking yourself right out of the gate.
Usually the self-deprecation
doesn't start until lunch.
- How's the weather up there?
- Hey, what'd you say to my best friend?
- Fareeda, please.
- Quick, you think you got jokes?
Say some more funny stuff. Dazzle us.
- I'm sorry, okay?
- No.
No, you're not. See, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I'm such good friends
with the girl
who constantly gets asked
that idiotic question ten times a day,
because every time she hears it,
it chips away another little
piece of her soul,
which, in turn, chips away
another little piece of my soul.
So, thank you, soul chipper.
In fact, that's your new nickname.
Soul Chipper.
Honestly, what would you do without me?
I shudder to think.
Well, stand up straight. Walk tall.
No slouching!
How's the weather up there?
And we're back.
Hook, line, and sinker
Wrapped around my finger
I'm a Lone Star man
Yeah, I'm a big ringer
This is my super-hot
older sister, Harper,
who's been winning beauty pageants
since she was six.
She was spared the tall gene,
but at least there is some balance...
...in the genetic universe.
She got Grandpa Larry's allergies.
- What do you think of this one?
- Hmm.
Let me see it with the wave.
I don't know.
I feel like the competition has got a lot
more fierce since I was a contestant,
so I think you need to step it up.
So, Jodi.
How's it goin'?
Fine.
You feeling okay?
Like, no headaches,
irregular heartbeats or unexplainable...
Dad, I... I know that you live with
this constant fear
that I'm just gonna
keep growing and growing
until all of my vital organs explode,
but really,
if I was gonna have major health problems,
I think I would have had them by now.
No, Yao Defen's osteoporosis
didn't show up till she was in college.
She holds the record
for the world's tallest woman.
She died 2012, age 40.
- So tragic.
- Okay, and why do you know that?
And why would you bring it up at dinner?
I'm just making conversation.
About tall people dying young?
Yeah, well, I gotta say something.
She hardly talks to us anymore.
You just keep to yourself.
I can't remember the last time
that you sat down at the piano.
Why don't you play anymore?
Is... Is it joint pain?
No.
It's...
It's just because...
when you're good at something,
other people tend to wanna
watch you do it,
and I don't need to give people
another reason to look at me.
You just have to be strong
in the face of adversity.
I mean, that's how
I got through high school.
Mom, everyone loved you in high school.
Oh.
Ten guys asked you to prom.
I mean, what adversity
did you face, exactly?
Well, I was not popular with the girls
in my class because I was so beautiful.
I mean, I had to say no to nine suitors.
It was very stressful.
It was a lot of pressure.
I was like, "No, no.
Don't call again.
No. Maybe. Flirt a little.
Flirty, flirty. Still no.
No, no.
Eh.
No, no."
Anyway, does that count as adversity?
No, it doesn't.
Okay.
Oh! I love it! That's the one.
But I have 27 more upstairs.
No, no, no, don't even bother.
It's... It's perfect.
You're perfect.
That's really sweet,
but I'm actually really far...
Ew. Ugh!
You wanna wipe your hand.
Don't touch your dress with that hand.
Get a tissue, please.
Nine?
Yes, nine!
There was only 40 people in our class.
This is Jack Dunkleman.
And you may be asking, why is he
carrying his books in a milk crate?
Well, I've been friends with him
for years,
and that's still a mystery to me.
What's even more of a mystery is why
he's crazy about someone twice his size.
- Good mornin'.
- Hi.
So David Blaine called me,
you'll never believe it.
He wants to know when you and I
will make magic together.
You do this every day.
Dunkleman, it's never gonna happen.
I made you a smoothie.
Okay, it would be weird.
We've known each other for so long,
and dating a guy who's shorter than me
would just draw more attention
to how much of a freak I am.
Wait, but half the guys in this school
are shorter than you are.
Hence my conundrum.
Oh, ho, ho. I would love nothing more
than to hence your conundrum.
All I'm saying is let your freak flag fly.
Date a short guy. Wear high heels.
Do something crazy.
They don't make heels in size 13 men's.
Even if they did, I wouldn't wear them.
Look, I know I don't have everything
on your perfect boyfriend checklist, okay?
But, you know, I'd be willing to bet
I'm clocking in at around... 70%.
Yeah, I mean, 60%.
Mm...
Fifty percent?
It's a very specific checklist.
I just think it's crazy
you won't go out with me
just 'cause what?
You think that at any moment,
some taller-than-you,
funny, intelligent, nice, perfect guy
is just gonna walk through that door?
I mean, that's... Come on. That's crazy.
Okay, class, listen up.
We have a foreign exchange student
joining us today.
He comes to us all the way from Sweden,
and he'll be with us
the rest of the school year.
So be nice and please welcome Stig Mohlin.
Uh... Hey, hey...
Okay, yeah, okay,
the guy is decent-looking.
Yeah, that's, you know,
that's obvious, but,
you know, you don't know him.
He's probably dumb as a...
What's... What's he doing?
Okay.
He's perfect, yeah.
He didn't even look at me, okay.
It's the first time in my life that
I've ever wanted someone to look at me,
and he doesn't.
Because to him,
you're not a tall girl.
I'm not?
Jodi, the dude's from Sweden.
It's an entire country filled with giants.
To him, you're just another girl.
- I'm going in. Teeth check?
- Ugh!
- Huge piece of broccoli.
- Where?
Liz, you're the worst.
Go get him!
Ugh, forever alone.
Kimmy Stitcher.
Travel enthusiast,
future real estate agent,
or some other occupation
that involves her face on a bench,
and one of my OTs...
original tormentors since childhood.
Look, guys.
Jodi's hand is so big,
it doesn't even fit on the clay.
We're gonna need more paint.
Kimmy's funny!
And that's why I want to be
just like Taylor Swift when I grow up.
Taylor Swift? More like Taller Swift.
Oh, that's a good one, Kimmy.
Nice sweatpants, Sasquatch.
Hey, new guy. I'm Kimmy.
Well, Hi, Kimmy.
- How're you liking America so far?
- Oh, I'm liking America very much so far.
And America likes you very much.
You speak Swedish?
I speak a little Swedish.
Picked up back in 2012
on a family vacay to Stockholm.
Oh, it's so beautiful there, right?
Yeah, America's great,
but I do know nothing about New Orleans.
Consider me your cultural ambassador.
Walk with me.
Man, Kimmy works fast.
I mean, the guy got out of Customs,
what, an hour ago,
and she's already marking her territory.
Jodi, Jodi, Jodi.
Look, all right. I know you want to date
some guy that's, like,
taller than you and stuff,
but if you think about it,
there could be some major consequences.
You know, it could backfire big-time.
Okay, backfire how?
I'm glad you asked.
Let me paint you a word picture.
How long is this picture gonna take?
Just let me do my thing.
So, let's say that
you and Stig date, okay?
You, uh, fall in love,
stick together through college,
down the line you get married,
have a baby.
And the combined strength
of your tall gene and his tall gene
creates a zygote in your belly the size
of an above-average sized watermelon.
Okay? So that would mean that
that puppy's coming out Caesarean.
Through the side door. Do you really
wanna go through the rest your life
with a big, old scar on that beautiful
torso of yours, 'cause, you know,
it's what you're asking for.
He makes a valid point.
Surprise!
Ha!
Mom, what are you doing
with the jumbo Swede?
Well, he's gonna be staying with us.
We're his host family.
What?
Yeah! I wanted to introduce myself to you
at school today,
tell you the great news, but your mom
wanted it to be a surprise, so,
- surprise!
- Surprise!
- Got him.
- Why?
Mom, why, why,
why would you do this?
Because!
With all the chaos going on
in the world today,
there's never been a more vital time
for humanity to open our doors
to strangers from foreign lands.
Mom, the '60s are over, okay?
And you weren't even in them.
Oh, Stig, buddy,
we're just...
we're gonna have to ship you back, man.
This isn't a busted Xbox
you bought on eBay.
This is a human being.
A human being who wants to experience
what America is all about.
You know what, Mom?
You know what? What better way for him
to experience what America's all about
than for us to just kick him out of it?
You get in the car!
But I sit shotgun.
Now.
What should we listen to?
Wow. That is amazing.
That is really some talent you have there.
Man, do I look fat on camera.
Okay, for the next three weeks,
if you see me eating carbs,
I need you to slap me across the face.
No, I'm not doing that.
Okay, and since when did you start
watching carbs?
Since Teen Miss Louisiana.
I'm not taking any chances.
Okay, fine.
Um, but I...
I need your help with something.
Sure, what's up?
Um...
How do I get a guy to notice me?
Oh,
my...
God!
Okay, I've been waiting for this day
to come my entire life,
and I never thought it would,
but I'm so glad it's finally here!
What day is that?
Um, the day that you finally come
to your big sister and ask her about love.
To finally embrace
the sublime splendor that is a woman,
and to stop dressing
like a, no offense, very large little boy.
So are you gonna help me or not?
I'm going to Extreme Makeover
the crap out of you.
Okay.
Who is he?
He... he is an exchange student...
- Uh-huh.
- ...from Sweden.
- And, oh, my God, he is so cute.
- What did you just say?
He is an exchange student.
Just... What's wrong?
Walk away.
Excuse me?
Just walk away and
forget we ever had this conversation.
- Okay, but you literally...
- I said walk away, damn it!
Wow, I'm so sorry.
- Um...
- Yeah, that was...
It's just, an exchange student...
There's, uh, so many factors
working against you, you know.
You meet.
High visibility.
Girls circling him like sharks on chum.
You know, I snagged
an exchange student once.
Diego.
Paraguayan. Hairless.
Sweat smelled like cappuccino, light foam.
All the girls wanted him. It was war.
I felt like Custer at Battle of the Bulge.
Yeah, Custer wasn't at
Battle of the Bulge.
Yes, he was. I'm learning about him
right now in American History class.
Nunez Community College makes you take
an American History class?
A requirement for the Hotel Management
degree! The point is,
if you want a guy to notice you,
you'd have to be willing
to go all the way.
I don't think you're willing.
Think you're ready to go all the way?
I don't know what you're talking about.
Then you just answered your own question.
Ja, good morning, Dunkers!
See you at breakfast.
No, I don't wait for tomorrow
No, I won't give it a break
Don't need to beg, steal, or borrow
Watch me as I walk this way
I'm busy buildin' an empire
Don't really care what they say
I'm only here for a good time
Drown 'em out like Namaste
Look, man, I feel like we could be friends
if you just gave me a chance on this.
Look, you're a nice enough guy.
But it's just not gonna work.
Dunkers, man. Why not?
Because I can't be seen around you.
And stop calling me Dunkers!
Why can't you be seen with me?
- You wanna know why?
- Yeah.
You make me UBC.
Ubc?
No, you... Ugly by comparison.
Look, when I'm not around you,
I am a strong six, weak seven.
But when I am around you,
I'm barely a three,
like, barely.
Yeah, but, dude,
I don't know anybody at school.
Trust me, you're gonna have
no trouble making friends.
Guys, come on.
He's not that attractive, is he?
Yes.
Well, try living with him.
Okay.
Well, this is about to get interesting.
Wow.
Like sharks to chum.
England to have my bones
But don't ever give me up
I could never get back up
When the future starts so slow
I'm going in.
You are?
No, of course I'm not...
going in.
If there's a time
When the feeling's gone
Well, I wanna feel it
You can holler
You can wail
This is like watching a UFC cage match.
But with less body slams
and more crop tops.
Ladies.
Oh, oh, oh, oh! And we have a winner! Ah!
So, what's your next class?
Uh, I'm going to Spanish.
Would you like me to walk you to class?
Uh, let me guess,
you picked up Spanish
vacationing in Barcelona, right?
Yes, Barcelona.
Let's go!
Okay.
It's been over a week
and she hasn't left his side.
Every time I see him, they're together.
They eat lunch together,
they go to PE together,
they walk home from school together
every day.
I don't know how much more
I can take.
Sounds like it's mostly just
eating and strolling.
Could be a lot worse.
Oh, my love
My darling
This is worse.
It's like I've been in love with this girl
since elementary school,
and this new guy just steps in
and blows up my seven-year plan.
Like, that's not cool,
and he's going to end up with Kimmy,
and Jodi'll spend the rest of her life
pining for the one guy taller than her.
And where does that leave me?
Sometimes I wonder what it'd be like
to go to lunch with my friends
and have them ask me about my problems.
Oh, and furthermore...
Your touch
A long
Lonely time
I've been looking at your painting...
...the past couple weeks,
and you got skills.
A little Pollock, a little Monet,
a touch of Rembrandt.
Are you just naming artists you know?
Da Vinci, Picasso, Matisse?
Am I that obvious?
Well, I like what you're doing
with the Van Gogh there.
Oh, well, look who's
the artist-dropper now.
Whatcha doing?
Playing Pachelbel's "Canon"
on wine glasses
may have been enough
to win Teen Miss New Orleans...
but if I wanna win Teen Miss Louisiana,
I gotta step up my game.
Cool.
So, um...
I'm ready to go all the way.
Then let's get to work.
Okay.
Jesus, Harper!
You almost killed me.
Hey, bro,
do you want this or not?
- Lipstick.
- Lady Danger.
Mm, too vampy.
- Crme Cup.
- Not vampy enough.
- Speak Louder.
- Not vampy enough!
No, no, no, that's just the name
of this one, Speak Louder.
My bad.
I look like Grandma's couch.
Or a beautiful mermaid princess!
Okay, no. Harper, no!
Oh, that one.
187 Duo Brush!
Goat fiber.
Did you have to bring Mom along?
Fixing you is a two-person job.
You were awesome
on Good Morning New Orleans!
Focus!
Okay.
Now we're talking!
You look great.
Thank you, Mom, but it's just...
It's not me.
Okay.
I would like to see some layers
around her face
to accentuate that fabulous
bone structure.
Maybe an inch or two off in the back,
but leave the length,
followed by some honey-blonde lowlights
all around.
Jodi, what do you think?
So you're telling me that a lip gloss
and a lip glass are two different things?
Stop stressing, little sister.
Tomorrow we're gonna bring
that little Swedish boy to his knees.
- Not so sure about that.
- Jodi!
Listen to me, okay?
If I had that kind of attitude,
I don't think I ever would've gotten
that job with the Hilton Corporation.
You have an unpaid internship
at the Residence Inn.
Silly.
Now this is me.
You look stunning.
Hello?
Hi, may I speak with Jodi, please?
Uh, yeah. Yeah, this is Jodi.
Hi, uh, my name's Stig. I'm the new
exchange student in your school.
Hello?
Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hi. Hi. Um...
Uh, how may I help you?
Well, um,
I don't know many people at school,
and you seem like a really nice person.
I was hoping
if you didn't have a date yet,
you'd want to go with me
to the Homecoming dance.
Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.
I mean, going out with you would be,
you know, splendiferous.
Now... Now, that's a word you don't hear
nearly enough of, um...
So... So, I'm guessing that
Dunkleman gave you my number?
No, no. I just looked it up in
the phone book under "Big, ugly giraffe"!
Schnipper.
Gotcha.
Okay, what the hell is wrong with you?
Oh, don't be so best supporting actress.
I saw the way you were looking at Stig
in art class.
Your jaw was practically on the floor.
So, Schnipper and I just thought
we'd have a little fun.
What up?
Besides, you really don't think a guy
as hot as Stig would be into you, do you?
I mean, let's face it, Jodi.
You're the tall girl.
You'll never be the pretty girl.
Yeah, well.
- What is taking so long?
- Honey, relax.
There's a whole outfit.
There's makeup, there's hair.
It's a process.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Wow!
She looks exactly the same, right?
- Yes!
- Yeah.
What's the difference 'tween me and you?
When no one believe in you
I'm flyer than Beetlejuice
Don't count on the sheep to snooze
Till I might eat your food
I party then sleep till noon
What every day people do
- Hey! What up, Stig?
- Ah, not much, Jake!
You became real popular real fast.
- Hey, Stig.
- Oh, hi, Sheila!
Okay, like, really, really fast.
Jeez, it's one week
and everyone knows your name?
- Yeah, it's...
- And you're dating Kimmy.
Right? I still don't get why everyone
wants to be friends with me.
Or why a girl as pretty as Kimmy
would want to date me.
What are you talking about?
Well, look at me.
Yeah?
I'm a dork.
What do you mean?
It's kind of embarrassing,
but in my high school back home,
there's all these super good-looking,
super popular, tall guys, you know?
I'm not one of them.
I'm sorry, what you're telling me
is that in your home country,
this, all this...
This is ugly?
Oh, yeah, of course, man.
No, that can't be right.
Why?
Well, it's just, you know, if that's true,
then that makes you the me of Sweden.
I am?
Man, that's trippy.
If I'm the you of Sweden, then, I mean...
who am I here?
Well, who's the most popular,
good-looking guy at your school?
The guy that all the girls want to date
and, you know,
- everyone wants to be friends with?
- Ingvar Krueger.
That's you here.
You're Ingvar Krueger.
I'm Ingvar Krueger.
- I'm Ingvar Krueger, Dunkers!
- Yeah, that's what I'm saying, man.
Man, I'd be, um, screwed in Sweden, huh?
Yeah, but it's all right.
Out. Now.
Excuse me. I'm reading.
You're hiding.
I don't want to run into Kimmy.
She prank called you, Jodi.
So what?
Easy for you to say.
Okay, nothing rattles you.
Plenty of stuff rattles me.
I just roll with it.
Well, this is how I roll.
I like your outfit, by the way.
Might be one of your best designs.
Don't change the subject.
Okay, Gulliver,
let's see what trouble you get into next.
One day, Jodi, one day
when you get picked on and made fun of,
you're not gonna hide in a bathroom stall.
You're gonna stand up and say,
"This is me.
I love all 73 inches of myself,
and there's nothing you can do
that will change that."
That is my wish for you.
I just hope I'm there to see it.
You're not seriously flushing the toilet
to avoid having this conversa...
Did you want to use the piano?
I have a few minutes before my next class,
so I'm just in here messing around a bit.
No, no, no, go ahead. Go ahead.
- Yeah.
- I suck.
Relax your hands.
I'm sorry, what?
Y... You're just trying so hard
to hit the right notes
that your fingers are tensing up.
So just relax your hands.
All right. Relax.
Right.
Not bad.
It's better.
Yeah. Wow, thank you.
You should play something now.
- No, no, I don't really play much anymore.
- Oh, come on.
I mean, I have a feeling that
you're probably better at this than I am.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm okay,
but only because of these.
Your hands?
Yeah, I would hope that you use
your hands to play the piano.
No, no, I... I mean, um...
That's why there are more male
classical pianists than female.
You know, bigger hands, they move faster,
cover more ground, so...
Lucky me. My hands...
Could I... Can I see 'em?
Yeah.
Yeah. You've got big hands.
So you probably could play this,
then, right?
It's Guys and Dolls,
it's my favorite musical.
- Me, too. It's a classic.
- Really?
- You like musicals? Oh, my God.
- I do.
You should have seen me in Sweden.
I was in Cats.
- Oh, my God, me, too!
- No, were you really?
No.
No, I... I don't know
why I said that, actually.
But you should play this with me.
Come on. Here.
Relax your hands.
I got that one. Thanks.
I've never been in love before
Now all at once it's you
It's you forevermore
I've never been in love before
I thought my heart was safe
I thought I knew the score
But this is wine
That's all too strange and strong
I'm full of foolish song
And out my song must pour
So please forgive
This helpless haze I'm in
I've really never been
In love before
Fantastic.
Kimmy. Hi.
Been looking for you. I thought
we were walking to class together.
Yeah, yeah, we're just having a little,
uh, impromptu concert here with, um...
Jodi.
Uh, Jodi.
It's... It's nice to formally meet you.
I'm, uh, I'm Stig,
and, uh, this is my girlfriend, Kimmy.
Girlfriend?
Yeah. Girlfriend, girlfriend.
Had the talk last night, made it offish.
Stiggy, baby, would you mind
getting Mama a Diet Slice before class?
Yeah. Sure.
See ya, Jodi.
- What are you playing at, beanstalk?
- What are you talking about?
- You're moving in on my man.
- No, I'm not.
So it's a coincidence the two of you
happened to be here together?
- Yeah.
- Stay away from him.
I will.
Stig and I will be
Homecoming king and queen.
I don't doubt it.
- Stop agreeing with everything I'm saying!
- Okay.
Ugh!
Hm. Excuse me.
Hey.
Dad, what is going on?
What do you mean?
I mean, why is our house filled with
a bunch of ridiculously tall people?
Who are they?
Oh, just some friends that I invited over
for a little get-together.
Okay, well, why are all your friends
wearing hats that say "Tip Toppers"?
Well, that's because
they are not only a group of friends,
but they're also, you know, like, a group.
You mean a club.
No. Not a club.
Clubs are lame. Ugh.
Crystal Spitz, Chairmen of the Tip Toppers
seven years running,
and it's about to be eight
unless Bob Brickman over there
beats me in the next election.
Which you won't, Bob!
Oh, we'll see, Crystal.
Anyhow, your parents were so kind
to open up their home for us
for our weekly chapter meeting.
Chapter meeting for what?
For our tall club.
Tall club? The Tip Toppers is a tall club?
Tall Club International has over
200 chapters in the US alone.
The Tip Toppers are the third-largest,
although, with our newest member...
- No, no, no.
- ...bringing up the tally to 24,
we are now officially tied for second!
Tip Toppers, I think you need
to sing your theme song!
No, no, no, Tip Toppers.
O Beautiful, for massive feet
For clothes that never fit right
For being so gigantic that
We're cramped on every flight
Jodi, come on, don't be mad at me.
Look, I...
I thought it would be nice
hanging out with other tall people.
And... And then you could see
that they're perfectly okay being tall.
Being tall sucks.
Seriously.
I only come to these meetings for, like,
the free food and the guys.
Bathroom's this way, right?
Ow!
Jodi,
I just want you to feel normal.
Don't you realize
that... that every time you try
to make me feel more normal,
you just end up making me feel like
more of a freak?
Height reduction surgery.
Let's see.
Costs $150,000.
"But I know a guy in India
who will do it for cheap."
"Very long recovery time,
extremely painful,
but when I learned to walk again,
it was worth it."
Why couldn't I have just been normal?
Hello?
Hi, Jodi, this is Stig from school.
You know what, Schnipper?
You really chose the wrong day
to mess with me, okay?
The next time I see you,
I'm gonna take my size 13 Nikes
and I'm gonna kick you in the nards hard.
Okay, do... do you understand me?
My big feet plus your tiny little nards
equals pain.
And, uh, and, um...
This really is Stig,
isn't it?
Yeah, yeah.
I'm... I'm really sorry. I, um...
I thought that you were someone else.
Oh, it's okay. I, um...
I hope I'm not bothering you.
I... I just wanted to know if...
if maybe you wanted to come over tonight
and watch a musical with me.
Oh, my God.
Jodi?
Hi.
How's it goin'?
Who's at the door?
Not now!
Uh, sorry, sorry, just my, uh,
Battle Royale partner,
Shoshi from Okinawa, but hey.
Hi.
I look ridiculous, don't I?
- I... I'm gonna go.
- What?
No, no, no, you don't look ridiculous.
You look...
You... You look amazing.
- Really?
- Yeah, I...
I'm just shocked. You look
a little overdressed for a study night.
Ah, Jodi, hey.
Wow, hi.
- Hi.
- Wow.
Um, thanks for coming over.
Thanks for inviting me.
Please come in.
Bye, Dunk.
That was painful.
Who asked you?
Why do they think up stories
That link my name with yours?
Why do the neighbors gossip all day
Behind their doors?
I know a way
To prove what they say is quite untrue
Here is the gist
A practical list of don'ts
For you
Oh, you guys watching this?
Yeah.
Okay.
Don't please my folks too much
Don't laugh at my jokes too much
People will say we're in love
Who laughs at your jokes?
I'm so silly.
Salsa.
Forgot.
Be right back, guys.
I'm so sorry.
It's fine.
My arm too much
I see a lot of ingredients here
that I can use
for a nice little smoothie.
Fruits and such.
Hit the gym today, so I'll throw
some protein powder in there.
That's always good.
Get those gains.
He doesn't seem to want to leave us alone.
Appears that way, yeah.
Do you think maybe I should just ask
if, you know...
Yeah, I think that'd be a good idea.
Hey, Dunkers.
Yeah?
- Yeah, pal?
- Do you want to watch the movie with us?
Pfft! Well...
No, I don't want to... Eh, okay.
That's such a great idea!
All right, cozy time. That's good.
It's super cozy.
Pssh. Where you going?
Sorry.
Oh.
But if... If I just, like...
Yeah.
Um...
There we go.
Yeah.
That's better.
So, um, where's your girlfriend tonight?
At some party.
Probably.
And, um...
you're my only friend
I'd want to watch a musical with, so...
Yeah, right.
She's so pretty...
Kimmy.
But she can be so insecure sometimes,
you know?
- Insecure?
- Yeah.
After she saw us together
in the music room,
she just kept saying, like,
"Oh, was it really coincidence
that you two were together?
Do you think she's prettier than me?"
Okay, Kimmy Stitcher is not insecure
about anything or anyone,
especially not me.
I mean, why... why wouldn't she be?
Because there's nothing
to be insecure about.
I mean, Kimmy's... She's perfect.
I'm... this.
Are you serious? Being tall is great.
Being a tall guy is... is great, but...
when you're tall girl, it's...
it's the only thing that people see.
It's not the only thing I see.
What do you see?
I don't know.
It's not a tall girl.
Just a girl.
A really smart, fun,
unique...
beautiful girl.
I... I'm sorry.
I'm not.
- Good evening, sister.
- Oh, my God.
What are you wearing?
Allie McKinney, Miss Teen Florida 1993,
states in her autobiography,
The Crowning Achievement,
that the key to a perfect-fitting dress is
to buy one that is three sizes too small
and to wear it two hours a day
one week before the event
to fit it to your exact body size.
Can you even breathe in that thing?
Just forget about whether or not...
Forget about whether or not I can breathe.
Okay.
What happened with the Swede?
Uh, we just watched a movie.
Okay, yeah.
And then he invited Dunkleman
to watch it with us.
Oh.
And then, uh...
he called me his friend.
And then, uh...
then I kissed him.
Wait.
After all that,
you kissed him?
Mm-hm.
Yeah.
Who are you?
I don't know. I mean, I wasn't planning
on kissing another girl's boyfriend,
I mean, even if that girl is Kimmy, but
that's not me. I'm not the other woman.
I mean, I'm barely a woman.
The situation is getting very ugly,
very fast.
Why do you have to gaze out the window
when you're talking to me?
We're in uncharted territory now.
I mean,
if Kimmy ever found out about this...
Is that an English muffin?
No.
It's not an English muffin.
Don't...
I just...
Did you just slap me?
You told me to slap you
if I ever saw you eating carbs.
I did, but I didn't expect you
to actually do it.
- What if you left a permanent mark?
- Okay, stop talking about yourself,
and tell me how to undo what I just did.
You... You can't undo it.
You kissed him, and he kissed you back,
which means girlfriend or not,
you've got a shot at this.
You are forging ahead.
You are in the game.
Just like General Custer.
General Custer,
not who you think he is!
Hey, Dunkers.
Are you awake?
What? Yeah.
Yeah, man, what's up?
I have to confess something.
I cheated on Kimmy tonight.
With Jodi, and she kissed me,
and I kissed her back, and I...
I didn't pull away.
Am I a horrible person?
No, man.
No. People...
These things happen.
People have minor lapses in judgment.
How was it?
It was different than when I kiss Kimmy.
It was really good, Dunkers.
It was intense and
- passionate, and I could feel her heart...
- Cool.
That's enough, you can stop now.
So what should I do?
Uh... You know, man, look.
Well...
You're already in a relationship,
you know, so...
So, um...
I think you should probably
just focus on, you know,
nurturing, caring for and continuing...
that relationship.
Right, but Dunkers, what if I like Jodi
more than I like Kimmy?
Are you okay?
Yeah. I'm fine.
Good.
Look, man, Jodi... Jodi's great.
Yeah.
And, you know, she smells...
like a late August midday sun-shower,
and she's got skin like sweet,
buttery whipped cream, but...
You, my friend, are dating the hottest,
most popular, most sought-after girl
in the whole school, so,
you know, if you keep that up,
you're in line to be Homecoming King.
That's a... You know, we don't
take that lightly around here.
Right.
Soon enough, you'll be back in Sweden
and, you know,
you'll be living my life again. Ugh!
Right? So you should take advantage
of the moment, man.
This is your chance to be Ingvar Krueger.
- Right.
- Yeah.
- But here's the thing.
- Mm-hm.
- I could still be friends with Jodi?
- Eh...
- Really? No?
- I...
I just think you might be...
That might lead her on,
you know, and it's probably best
for you to cut things off,
just cold turkey.
You know, it's the American way.
Yes.
All right.
- I'm... I'm glad I have you, man.
- Yeah.
I appreciate your honesty.
That means a lot to me.
Mm-hm.
You kissed Stig?
Could you keep your voice down?
- Am I shouting?
- Yes.
Sorry. But it's a big deal,
your first kiss!
So how was it? Give me the deets.
Pretty perfect.
I mean, other than the fact
that he's dating someone else.
But am I a terrible person?
No, you're not. She is.
She doesn't deserve him. You do.
And I gotta say,
I like new Jodi.
New Jodi?
"Face your fears" Jodi.
"Going after what you want" Jodi.
"Look at me 'cause I look good" Jodi.
it's about time you start following
your own advice.
And when did I ever give that advice?
To me. When you convinced me
to stand up to my parents
and tell them I wanted to go to fashion
school instead of becoming a doctor.
Ah. Right.
Do you think they're ever gonna
forgive me about that?
Oh, no. You're dead to them.
What's that girl trying to prove?
What, does she think makeup and
a new haircut's gonna make her less ugly?
Do you think she's less ugly?
Uh, no, no. No. She's, like, you know,
the same amount of ugly, right?
You're lying.
Huh?
All right, yeah. I mean, look at her.
Look at her, she's so confident
and feeling herself and...
She's like an independent woman
with golden locks.
She looks kinda hot.
Look, you better watch your back.
She should watch hers.
Here he comes.
What happened last night?
You didn't respond to my text messages.
Uh...
Yeah, that was funny, actually.
I... I left my phone on "off".
Mm.
Silent, I mean.
No, I think it might be broken.
Oh! Dunkers, man! We got a spot.
Uh, no, that's fine. I'm just gonna...
No, you're coming over here. Come on.
Okay.
This is my roommate. This is Dunkers.
Yeah, uh, well, my name's Dunkleman,
and I feel like I'm more of a landlord
than a roommate, so...
Landlord! You're so funny.
He's actually very funny.
He does these impressions of people.
What, impressions?
- I don't think...
- The chef one.
Gordon Ramsay.
- I don't do...
- Let's see it.
- Mm-hm.
- Let's see it!
- He's so good at this.
- Yeah, Gordon Ramsay.
He's like, "You've
been braising that turkey for 15 minutes.
Where's the lamb sauce?"
No, do it. Come on, here. With this.
- Oh, with the sushi?
- Yeah. Please.
"Me nan could make
better sushi than this, and she's blind"!
- Do the sandwich!
- "You donut."
This, I actually love the sandwich bit.
- "What are you"?
- I don't know!
"An idiot sandwich"!
Kevin Hart, Kevin Hart!
- Sure, yeah, Kevin.
- In Sweden, they're crazy about this guy.
All right, all right, all right!
Yeah, you know Kevin, how he does that?
That's not a Matthew McConaughey thing.
Kevin did it first, actually.
You know, walk up to him and he's like...
What am I watching?
Unclear.
All my people up
Plus the sky is up
You're not really gonna eat Glutio's,
are you?
They taste like sawdust.
Well, I can't have gluten and so,
you know, kid's gotta snack.
How about... Try one of these?
You're gluten-free?
Since 2012, baby.
All right.
Hold up, no. That is not gluten-free.
- Who makes these?
- Girls Gone Vegan on Chestnut Street.
I'll take you.
Where have you been my whole life?
- I was talking to the cookie.
- Cookie. Yeah. Okay.
Keep it.
So, what, am I not cool enough for you
to sit and have lunch with anymore?
No, I was just, um...
Stig asked me to sit by him for lunch,
and I didn't want to be rude.
Did he say anything to you
about me recently?
- Like what?
- I don't know.
He just avoided me all day today, and I
thought we had a fun night last night.
- Yeah, I bet you did.
- Excuse me?
What? Nothing.
He did say something. What did he say?
- I don't know.
- Excuse me, I'm talking to you.
What did he tell you?
- Well, he said you guys kissed, okay?
- He what?
You're going after a taken man, Jodi.
There's plenty of other guys out there,
available ones.
Just tell me what he said.
He said he didn't know who he liked more,
you or Kimmy.
He said that? Then what'd you say?
I merely implied that, you know,
maybe he should focus on the relationship
he's already in with Kimmy.
Oh, so you're looking out for Kimmy now?
I thought you're supposed to be my friend.
I am your friend.
But if you can't have me, nobody can,
isn't that the idea?
Jodi, don't flatter yourself.
I actually have a date with Liz
to go to a gluten-free bakery.
Mm. The start of the beginning
of no great love story ever.
You may find this hard to believe,
but I care about you
and I just want to make sure
that you don't get hurt.
Ow!
What's happened to you?
Biking's for losers.
Hey, can I...
Can I talk to you?
Yeah, sure. Come in.
So, uh...
What's up?
Oh, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry
that I kissed you last night.
- Oh, uh, that's okay.
- No.
It's not. I mean, you have a girlfriend,
and I basically threw myself at you,
which is probably why you...
blew me off today.
I just didn't know what to say, honestly.
No, no, no,
you don't have to say anything.
You know, in fact, feel free
to just keep blowing me off.
Really?
- Yeah.
- Why?
Because if you don't, then I'm just gonna
get my hopes up about happy endings
that only happen in movies
with actresses that are under six feet.
I... I'd still like to be friends,
Jodi, at least.
Right, yeah. Friends, like,
let's just forget that we kissed
and move on
- like nothing ever happened.
- Yeah.
- We could do that, right?
- Right.
Yeah, yeah, totally.
Oh, great.
- Yeah, great.
- Good, good.
- Awesome.
- Um...
I...
High five.
- Pfft. Higher five.
- Oh.
Okay, so then how did this end?
Other than a few scratches, he's fine,
but we're not on speaking terms
at the moment.
- Is this your first fight ever?
- I think so.
He didn't even start the day off
with one of his cheesy pickup lines.
So what are you gonna do
about Stig?
Nothing. He made his choice.
You don't need him. There'll be more.
Yeah, well,
me not getting the guy was always
how this was supposed to end.
Forget about them.
Let's go dance.
Jodi.
Get in here.
Pass.
Not dancing to your high school marching
band before homecoming is bad juju.
I'll risk it.
Hey, Jodi.
We need to talk.
About what?
About a guy.
It's come to my attention,
is very into you.
- Look, I did not mean for anything...
- Schnipper.
Schnipper?
He digs your new look.
We're all going
to the escape room on Friday,
and you should come.
Okay, I'm not falling
for another one of your tricks.
It's not a trick.
He told me to come over and invite you.
And why should I believe you?
'Cause I know I haven't always been
the nicest to you,
but consider this
my way of making it up to you.
Bye.
What did that biatch want?
She just invited me to hang out
Friday night.
- Why?
- Because apparently Schnipper likes me.
- They're messing with you again.
- Yeah. That's what I thought.
But she sounded kind of genuine.
Oh, you're dreaming.
Is it really that hard to believe
that Schnipper would like me?
Yes.
All the guy does is make fun of you.
And even if it were true, why would you
wanna go out with Schnipper?
Maybe if Stig saw that I moved on,
he would realize that he made a mistake.
Okay, but we have tickets to
Tank and the Bangas on Friday.
And I'm sure you can find
someone else to go with.
Wow, so now you're flaking on me?
Why are you giving me
such a hard time about this?
Why are you acting so crazy over a guy
who, you just admitted two minutes ago,
was never going to happen?
Do you really need validation that badly?
If you're not going to have my back,
I would really just prefer
you keep your opinions to yourself.
Don't worry, I will.
Welcome
to Maison Voodoo.
It was there
where me and my entire clan were murdered
just last night.
Now, you have exactly one hour...
To hunt for clues, find the killer,
meet the same fate, blah, blah, blah.
It's not our first rodeo. Just let us in.
Whatever. I get paid either way.
Uh, wait right there.
So, where's
the Homecoming hangout this year?
Uh...
I mean, well, my mom's going out of town
on a yoga retreat that weekend,
so I guess I can have
a little get-together at mine.
- Are you serious?
- Yeah.
That's perfect.
Party at Dunkleman's!
No, no, get-together.
- Party!
- Get-together!
- Get-together.
- Party, party, party! Party.
Get-together. I said...
You guys heard me, right?
- It's a party.
- Get...
- Hello?
- Mm-hm.
What?
Oh. Uh, okay. All right.
First clue's in the parlor upstairs.
Stiggy. Stiggy, come on.
So, since when do you throw parties
or get-togethers?
Well, I'm hanging out with
a pretty popular crew now,
so it's sort of expected of me.
- Wow, good for you.
- Thank you.
Open my heart to my surprise
This is the time
This is the night
I'm feeling like
A hundred dollar bill, yeah
Doin' it for the thrill, yeah
No time to waste when time is money
Win the race, yeah
Oh, oh
Yeah, na na na
Yeah, na na na na
We won't ever quit
Tell me
Are you ready for it
Are you ready for it
Guys, I'm tired.
Let's take a break.
- But we only have 12 minutes left.
- Plenty of time to escape.
Plus we have this whole room to ourselves.
Might as well take advantage of it.
So you can go around the block
Or watch what'll happen
Hey.
Might as well get flattened by a car
You wouldn't let me drive it anyway
Anyway
I will have to prove myself
Someday
One day I'm gonna be a big kid
Big car, big house, big money
One day I'm gonna be a big kid
Someday you will see me put together
Okay, yeah.
I can't do this.
Why not? You guys make such a cute couple.
Okay, I'm gonna... I'm gonna go.
Not the way out.
Neither is that.
- Well, if you're gonna go, go.
- I'm trying.
Thanks for meeting me.
Sure.
What was so important
you needed to meet in private?
Well, you know that whole plan we had
about, "Let's forget we kissed"?
Yeah.
I hate that plan.
It's a really terrible plan that we made.
I, uh...
I mean, it means I have to see you
kissing Schnipper...
Which is never gonna happen again.
- Thank God.
- I honestly did that to make you jealous.
Well, that worked.
Genius on my part, then.
Look, Jodi, I...
I'll end it with Kimmy
if it means I can be with you.
I was thinking I would do it tonight,
and, um...
maybe we could meet up after?
I, uh, I... I can't tonight.
It's my sister's pageant.
Right.
I mean, unless you want to be my plus-one.
You mean, like, a date?
Yeah, like a date.
I'd love to.
And then we could go
to Dunker's party together.
But on one condition.
You be my date
for Homecoming?
Yes, of course.
So, Stig is coming with you tonight,
- and he asked you to Homecoming?
- That's right.
Okay, this is all possible because he's
breaking up with Kimmy to be with you?
Which I feel bad about, but...
yeah, he is.
What... What's wrong?
Nothing. Nothing's...
Nothing's wrong. Um...
Y... You know, it was just...
I don't know. It was...
It was nice when
you needed me for something.
We'll probably just go back to
you never needing me for anything again.
What do you mean?
Well, up until last month,
you've never really needed my help
for anything.
Well, I... I wanted to, you know,
talk to you about stuff, but...
Why didn't you?
I don't know, just because
you were just busy with all your pageants,
and I just figured
that you weren't interested.
You mean more to me
than any stupid crown.
Then I guess I will come to you
about stuff, then.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
I mean, who else would I talk to?
You're my... You're my big sister.
You're my big little sister.
That's me.
So, where is he?
Late, obviously.
- But he's definitely coming?
- Yes, he's coming.
Okay, sorry.
We're just so excited to meet him.
Okay, please don't embarrass me.
Never.
Yeah.
I'm so going to embarrass her.
Me, too!
Ladies and Gentleman,
your Teen Miss Louisiana contestants!
I know you like what you see
I bet you heard about me
Stuck in your head like a dream
You know you need someone fast
So good you keep comin' back
Turn off you can't miss the party
Don't need no water
I'm still gonna grow
Girl got no problem sleepin'
Everything peach
Check my credit, check my karma
And you'll see what I mean
Just move to the beat
Feel it in my feet
Dance, dance in the street
All eyes on me
'Cause I get what I want
I get what I want
Yeah, I get what I want
Don't tell me no
I'm still gonna go
Just tell me yes
Let me see you work
'Cause I get what I want
I get what I want
Yeah, I get what I want
I get what I want
Get it, got it, good
Miss Harper Kreyman everyone!
I guess the one way that I would work
to make the world a better place
is by using
my hotel management skills, which...
Where is he?
Don't worry.
...which is all about
meeting and exceeding
guest expectations.
Now, wouldn't it be great
if we could meet and exceed
guest expectations...
in the ongoing Middle East conflict?
Thank you so much.
In your face, Miss Teen Shreveport!
Oh. Oh!
I'm gonna kill that kid when I see him.
Don't talk like that.
I'm serious.
I'm gonna run over Stig with the car.
Okay, then you'll go to jail.
Yeah, well, then I'll do my time
like a man, because
no one stands up my daughter, you hear me?
No one stands up my daughter!
Watch the road!
Sorry.
Nobody!
Roll up in the club
And it's a big thunderstorm
All eyez on me hot gyal protocol
The place a kick up bere dust
When we're gone
Defibrillator shock them... clear
We work hard and we play hard
Problems when we roll out
Me and mi squad
All if the cash done
Me draw me black card
From Africa to yard
Me set the standard
We chipping and chopping
And pimping and popping and flying
And yachting no we not stopping no
Country hopping layovers for shopping
No shakiness no flopping
We causing mayhem
Everybody causing mayhem
Yes, it's a problem
Jump around and blaze off the ceiling
When we come we set off alarm
Mayhem
Everybody causing mayhem
Yes, it's the weekend
Jump around and blaze off the ceiling
Jodi.
Ah, Jodi, I'm... I'm sorry.
Can I explain, please?
Please, yeah, explain.
I had to help Dunkers
with the party all day,
and then people started showing up early,
and, I don't know, it got crazy.
And honestly, I lost track of time.
I'm sorry.
Okay, so,
did you talk to Kimmy?
I was going to, I was, but then she kept
getting pulled into conversations,
and I wanted, like,
a quiet moment to do it,
- you know? So I just...
- Stig, Stig, quick selfie, dude.
Yeah. All right, yeah.
- Nice! Yes! Love you, bro.
- Does it work?
All right. Yeah, you too, man!
What?
You're not breaking up with Kimmy.
You never were.
Jodi, why would you say that?
Because you like being the popular guy.
Much more than you like me, so...
No. Jodi.
Hey, come on. Come back.
Stig, over here, man.
You gotta check this out.
Do you... Do you have a date yet?
I do not.
Do you want to go with me?
I do, yeah.
And I don't.
I do and I don't.
I'm confused. I thought you liked me.
I do, I do. I'm just, uh...
sorta in love...
with somebody else.
I know.
- What?
- Yeah.
I see the way that you look at Jodi.
So why aren't you guys together?
Um, I don't... I don't know.
I guess I'm just not her type.
So you're gonna spend the rest of
your life waiting until you are her type?
If that's what it takes, then, yeah.
Okay.
I'm sorry. I know you must hate me.
I'm bummed.
But I don't hate you.
Your art, though, that, I hate.
I hate that.
...fluctuates in this part of the boat.
They can grow or decline
based on tiny changes in current,
temperature or even water temperature.
Only time will tell if these new efforts...
Jodi?
You okay?
Don't worry. I'm not gonna...
say anything or do anything to upset you.
I just, uh...
just wanna tell you I love you.
And, uh...
I'm here if you need me, okay?
The gnome and the sunflower.
Classic.
Oh, my God!
What are you doing here?
Harper said I could come in.
Okay, yeah, come in, not,
"Touch Jodi's hair
- while she's trying to sleep."
- Oh, my God.
Since when do you know karate?
My mom. She made me take
self-defense classes a few years ago
when that serial killer was on the loose.
Okay, what are you doing here?
- I...
- And... And what happened to your eye?
Last night took a crazy turn,
and, um, I... I took a spill,
but I'm...I'm fine.
- Does it hurt?
- Not...
Not so much, um...
My mom asked me the exact same thing when
she came home a day early from her retreat
and then grounded me
for wrecking the house.
- So...
- Yikes.
So, uh...
no more Homecoming for me.
Sorry.
You have nothing to apologize for.
I haven't been the best friend recently.
And, uh, I am sorry.
But I got you a present.
To hopefully...
try and make up for it.
So I'm not gonna say anything else.
- Just open it.
- Okay.
I... I like the box.
Open it.
- High heels.
- Mm-hm.
They're from a specialty drag queen store
called Scream Queens.
It's this great place,
and they gave me a gift card,
so if I come in, like, nine more times,
I get a free pair.
They're, uh, beautiful.
Thank you.
But I'm never gonna wear them.
Okay.
Just keep 'em,
just in case.
Why?
I am glad you asked that, actually.
Let me paint you a picture.
- Please don't...
- No, no, no, stick with me here.
We're three years in the future.
You are at some
nice college in the Midwest,
Northwestern, maybe Notre Dame.
And...
you meet some...
taller-than-you
nice guy...
and he really likes you because
of how kind you are.
And he likes how you sit up front
with your Uber drivers
'cause you don't want them
to be lonely and...
how you hate raisins but love Raisin Bran,
which doesn't make any sense to me.
But again, maybe he likes it.
And he asks you out on a date.
And you wanna wear your heels.
And then you try and go out and buy some,
and you can't get any
'cause there's a snowstorm outside.
So you think back to this moment
and you go, "Damn.
I should have kept those heels that
Dunkleman gave me just in case."
It wouldn't work out with the guy.
It wouldn't. Yeah.
- Right.
- But you'd look amazing, so...
Thank you.
Yeah, no problem.
Hey, Dunkleman, crazy party, huh?
Well, I just wanted to document it
just as a reminder
in case you ever think
about throwing a party again.
Stig.
What were you and Jodi talking about
in the kitchen earlier?
Seemed kind of important.
Uh, I... I messed with her.
Yeah, Kimmy, I messed with her,
and... and she was pissed at me.
- What'd you do?
- Uh...
Okay, so she came over here the other day,
and she was saying that the reason
that she left the escape room was
because she couldn't stand to see me
with, uh, somebody else.
So, basically just saying
that she's, uh, secretly in love with me.
What?
Confessing love?
Dude, that's, like, totally lame.
Like, I'm definitely
not in love with Jodi.
Right, so anyways,
I couldn't get her to leave,
so just to get her off my back,
I said, "Yeah,
I'll meet up with you tonight.
We can talk more about it." But, uh...
But I... I totally stood her up.
Man! My guy!
Sauvage, bro.
Hey!
Dunkers!
Dunkers, what's your...
Sauvage, bro.
Hey.
- What're you...
- Dunkers.
Dunkers, what's your problem, man?
You are, man, you are.
When I met you,
you were genuinely a super nice guy, man.
But you've turned into such a jerk.
You're talking trash about Jodi
to all these people in public,
but when we're in private, man,
you're confessing your love for her to me.
The crazy thing is you don't even
know a thing about her, man.
What's her birthday, huh?
What's her middle name?
What's her favorite color?
What color are her eyes, man?
- Green.
- No, they're not, they're blue.
I mean, Jodi has so much to offer.
She's the best person that I know.
I bet you didn't even know
she's reading the list of 100 best books
before she turns 21, did you know that?
And that's what's so funny,
is you think you're so much cooler
than her, but you're not.
You guys, none of you guys are.
You think...
She is so much cooler
than all of you guys combined.
Yeah, well, she's also taller
than all of us combined, so...
- Yeah.
- Hey...
Dunkers!
Oh, my God, Dunkers, you okay!
Hey, fellas, come on now, come on!
Come on! Take it easy!
Guys! Guys, stop!
I don't know what to say to you
To get it through your head
You are watering your roots
With every tear that's shed
And you'll grow by the day
Above what they say to you
Because at the height of everything
Is a beautiful view
You're a light so let it shine
Let it shine up in the sky
'Cause my star it is your time
It is your time
Stand tall for a lifetime
You got more
You got more to give
Let all of your light shine
And your eyes are over it
I'm so electric
I got sunshine in my feet
A whole new perspective
New possibilities
Show me your war
I've gone through it
Ain't scared at all
I'm gonna do it
So don't
Don't pass it up
Let's go
Let's fire it up
This is as good
As good as it gets
We'll feel all night
Ain't got no regrets
We'll just keep on movin'
Till there ain't nothin' left
Feels like my heart could beat
Right out of my chest
This is as good as it gets
Yeah
As good as it gets
All right, Ruby Bridges High.
This is the moment
you've all been waiting for,
the announcement
of your Homecoming King and Queen.
And to read the names,
please help me welcome to the stage
Ruby Bridges alum and recently-crowned
Teen Miss Louisiana,
Harper Kreyman.
Thank you, students. Hello.
And Principal Preston,
may I just say, you look fantastic.
Have you lost weight or something?
What is it?
We'll talk later.
And now, without further ado,
your Homecoming King and Queen.
Thank you.
And the winner is...
Um...
You sure?
- That's what they told me.
- We're sure.
Kimmy Stitcher and Stig Mohlin.
Thank you so much!
Thank you! Thank you, thank you!
Thank you! Who would've ever thought?
Everyone, thank you so much! Oh, no?
- Baby, Stig baby, we did it!
- Ah!
Pull up in my ride, yeah
Bad girl, bumping on Mariah, oh
She said she getting tired
Please
Please don't kill the vibe, yeah, oh
Why you gotta lie
I'm on the road
What's wrong?
I can't do this anymore.
Do what?
This.
Or this.
Why not?
Because I made a mistake.
Because being Ingvar Krueger
wasn't as great as
I thought it was going to be.
What's an Ingvar Krueger?
Doesn't matter.
This is because you like Jodi, isn't it?
Can you explain to me, because I don't
understand. What do you see in her?
Can I, uh,
have everyone's attention, please?
Uh, hi, I am Jodi.
You may know me as
Amazon or Godzilla
or Jodi the Green Giant,
or any of those other
insults that you've called me
in the past years, um...
You know what? I... I get it.
I'm... I'm tall, really, really tall,
and it's the thing that's haunted me
my entire life.
It's, um,
it's defined me.
But I think it's time that I come up
with a new definition.
- And I'd like to say one thing.
- Harper.
- My moment, not yours.
- One thing.
- Not mine. Okay.
- Not yours.
I'm so much more than just a tall girl.
I'm a sister.
I'm a best friend.
Mostly a good one, sometimes a bad one.
Sorry.
I'm smart.
I'm fun.
And I've made mistakes.
I've kissed a guy who I knew
had a girlfriend.
What?
And I'm sorry.
That was wrong.
And I play piano,
and I'm... I'm really, really good at it.
Being tall, actually, is what makes me,
me, and I... I like me.
And you should like you.
We're all good enough.
And once we realize this,
no one can take it away.
So go ahead and...
and keep making fun of me.
Keep calling me names, keep asking me,
"How's the weather up there?" Because...
I can take it.
Because the weather up here,
it's... it's pretty great.
Yeah, Jodi!
Would you believe me now
If I told you
I got caught up in a wave?
Almost gave it away
Would you hear me out
If I told you
I was terrified for days?
Was that how you imagined it?
Even better.
Oh, I couldn't stop it
Tried to slow it all down
I have to go.
You must be so happy now
Oh, if you keep reaching out
Then I'll keep coming back
And if you're gone for good
Then I'm okay with that
If you leave the light on
Jodi, wait!
Wait.
Oh. Oh, Jodi, I'm so sorry.
I'm... I'm so sorry for everything.
- Thank you.
- Your speech was beautiful.
Thank you for saying that.
Yeah.
I broke it off with Kimmy.
Finally.
Look,
is there any chance
that we can start over?
Please?
I'd love to start over.
But just not with you.
Oh, I couldn't stop it
Tried to figure it out
But everything kept moving
And the noise got too loud
With everyone around me saying
"You should be so happy now"
Oh, if you keep reaching out
Then I'll keep coming back
And if you're gone for good
Then I'm okay with that
- Hey.
- Hey.
Um...
Why didn't you tell me the real reason
you got that black eye?
It didn't seem important.
Okay, but you...
you, like, defended my honor
and you took a punch for me.
Yeah, well...
- Yeah, well, I guess I... I did that.
- Mm.
What?
Nothing.
I'm just making some mental revisions
to my perfect boyfriend checklist.
Well, did I make it over 50%?
Way over.
Uh, to let you know, the only major
sticking point is the milk crate.
I... I really don't get why you don't just
put your stuff in a backpack
like a normal person.
Um, well, because I knew the day
would come where I would need it,
and I wanted to be ready.
Ready for what?
Oh, if you keep reaching out
Then I'll keep coming back
And if you're gone for good
Then I'm okay with that
For this.
If you leave the light on
Then I'll leave the light on
Short handles
on roll-away suitcases,
my feet hanging off
every bed I've ever slept in,
having to sit sideways on airplanes.
We've all got something about ourselves
we wish we could change.
But it's completely out of our control.
The only thing that we can control
is how we deal with it.
And the way I see it, we have two choices.
We can lay low,
or we can stand tall.
If you keep reaching out
Then I'll keep coming back
And if you're gone for good
Then I'm okay with that
If you leave the light on
Then I'll leave the light on
And do you believe me now
That I always had
The best intentions, babe?
Always wanted to stay
With everyone around me saying
"You should be so happy now"
Oh, if you keep reaching out
Then I'll keep coming back
And if you're gone for good
Then I'm okay with that
If you leave the light on
Then I'll leave the light on
It takes two to make a thing go right
It takes two to make it outta sight
It takes two to make a thing go right
It takes two to make it outta sight
Hit it!
I wanna rock right now
I'm Rob Base and I came to get down
I'm not internationally known
But I'm known to rock the microphone
Because I get stupid
I mean outrageous
Stay away from me if you're contagious
'Cause I'm the winner
No, I'm not a loser
To be an MC is what I choose-a
Ladies love me, girls adore me
I mean, even the ones who never saw me
Like the way that I rhyme at a show
The reason why, man, I don't know
So let's go, 'cause
It takes two to make a thing go right
It takes two to make it outta sight
It takes two to make a thing go right
It takes two to make it outta sight
Hit it! My name is Rob
I gotta real funky concept
Listen up,
'Cause I'm gonna keep you in step
I got an idea
That I wanna share
You don't like it
So what, I don't care
I'm number-one, the uno, I like comp
Bring all the suckers
'Cause all them I'll stomp
Bold and black but I won't protect
All of my followers
'Cause all I want is respect
I'm not a doctor, put them in rapture
A slick brother
That can easy outfox ya
'Cause I'm Rob
The last name Base, yeah
And on the mic
I'm known to be the freshest
So let's start
It shouldn't be too hard
I'm not a sucker
So I don't need a bodyguard
I won't fess, wear a bulletproof vest
Don't smoke Buddha
Can't stand sess, yes
It takes two to make a thing go right
It takes two to make it outta sight
It takes two to make a thing go right
It takes two to make it outta sight
Hit it!
The situation that the Base is in
I'm kinda stingy
That's why I don't wanna lend
A funky rhyme
To a foe or a good friend
But listen up
'Cause I want you to comprehend
'Cause I'm the leader
The man superior
I take care of ya
And then ya get wearier
So just sit
My rhymes are not counterfeit
The record sells
Which makes this one a hit
It won't hurt to listen to Red Alert
Take off your shirt
Make sure it don't hit the dirt
I like the kids, the guys, the girls
I want the ducats
'Cause this is Rob Base's world
I'm on a mission
Ya better just listen
To my rhymes
'Cause I'm all about dissin' 'cause
It takes two to make a thing go right
It takes two to make it outta sight
It takes two to make a thing go right
It takes two to make it outta sight