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Teen Titans Go! Vs. Teen Titans (2019)
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[siren blaring] [growls] [squeals] [squeals] - [thumps] - [belches] [munching] Titans, go! [echoing] [opening theme playing] T-E-E-N T-I-T-A-N-S Teen Titans, let's go T-E-E-N T-I-T-A-N-S Teen Titans, let's go [growls] Next. Excuse me, madam, would you kindly... hand over all the money in your register? For real? You got like a weapon or something? Oh, heavens, no. [groaning] Guard! Huh? Your electronics are of no use, madam. I am the Gentleman Ghost. [indistinct shouting and screaming] [laughing] Splendid, now I must run. I have other robbery appointments today, and a gentleman must keep to his schedule... [crashing] It's the Teen Titans. That's right. Polite language does not excuse the doing of the crime. Yeah, if you wants money, you have to do what we dos and mooch off Robin. No, he shouldn't do that, you really shouldn't do that, either, but I digress, Titans, go! [all shouting] [roars] It seems you brutish attacks are useless against my genteel form. [Beast Boy] His what? No, I'll just procure the money and, umph... Well, stop that. [exclaims] Cut it out. Stop, that is exceedingly annoying! Then you better surrender, because we can be annoying all day. That is extremely true. I would like to second the that. Hmm... So, what's it gonna be? Well... [inhales] Geez Louise... [automated voice speaking] Stronger, faster, better... - Talk about being full of yourself. - Faster... Robin? [Gentleman Ghost voice] Pardon me. I will be borrowing your friend for a spell. Oh, man, the Ghost stole the money and Robin. Uh, let's get at least one of them back. [all groaning] Oh, excuse me, pardon me, coming through. Move! Look! He's helping that old lady cross the street? It's the gentlemanly thing to do. Get him! [groans] This infant body is too weak. [horse whinnies] [squeaking] Oh, hello. [Gentleman Ghost voice] Mmm. This has been the very droll. But I must be going. Ta-ta, children. Not happening. [grunting] Impressive. Don't even think about it. Raven? [screams] Well, I never... Ugh... [exclaims] Ooh, my specialty. Perfect. Uh, Raven? [gasps] Don't mind if I do. Possession is nine-tenths of the law, after all. [rings] [rumbling] [whimpering] Oh, my. [whimpers] [squeaking] [all laughing] Goodness. [all gasping] [all gasping] Is this good or bad? [growling] Oh, bother, it looks like you got me. Guess I'll head off to... [scoffs] ghost jail. [growling] [screaming] [Robin] Raven? [low growl] Sorry, I lost it there for a second. What happened? That was... awesome! What was? I didn't even know you could do that. Do what? You totally wrecked that dude. [growling and beeping] [announcer reading] That is not awesome, it's bad. Friend Raven, if you are having the trouble with your powers, we are all the here for you. Yeah, well, you're not half-demon. So I don't think you'd understand. Whatever. You're welcome I re-killed that old man. Later. [whirring] [beeping] [all laughing] [grunting] Hello, creepy dark inner consciousness. [gasps] [growls] [gasps, panting] Ugh. What's happening to me? [indistinct whispering] [Trigon] What's happening is, it's time to ditch those humans. [giggles] Dad? [gasps] You. And also, ditch Starfire, the alien, and whatever Robin is, uh, wombat? Not gonna happen, get out of here. But, sweetie, I came to congratulate you, your gem is cracking. Then, you know what's happening to me? That gem on your forehead is what contains your inner demon. [screeching] But now that it's cracked your demon can escape. And consume your human side, entirely. [gasps] You mean, I'm becoming a monster? You don't have to. What if I told you I could remove your demon altogether? [gasps] Then we both can have something we've always wanted. I'll be out of your hair forever and your powers will be mine to use. Not happening. It's your humanity. The more you use your powers, the more the crack will widen. Until, pow! All that's left will be demon. [screeching] I just won't use my powers, then. I'd rather give them up, than give them to you. And don't be in my mirror. - [Trigon] Used your powers. - That doesn't count. Nuts, I thought that was gonna work. [deep voice] Your gambit has failed, as predicted. We proceed with the true plan. Fine, I'll get on it. [two clicks] [whirring] [beeping and whirring] [explosion] [announcer] Robin 1. [explosion] When you're already best, there's only one adversary you can face. [announcer] Robin 2. Yourself. [announcer] Final Round! Round Robin! Fight! [both grunting] [announcer] Combo. Triple move! End him! [both yelling] [straining] Huh? [announcer] Why aren't you ending him? [straining] [giggling] Is this some sort of cheat code? I don't understand. [screaming] [grunting] [announcer] What's happening? - [screaming] - [giggling] [announcer] Wait, wait, what are we doing? This is weird, right? I'm very confused. [grunts] Ha-ha-ha. That's it! Team meeting. [all groaning] How would you expect me to remain in peak physical form, if you insist on interrupting my training? I do not know this word "peak." It means the soft or mushy? [grumbles] Robin, it's not like it's real training. Yeah, you're only fighting against yourself. Of course I'm fighting me! I'm a super genius tactician with good looks to match. Who could be better? I don't think there's an answer there that you're gonna like. What we needs to do is learn from Raven, she really... leveled up! [announcer reading] Yeah, she did! [explosion] Being bigger and more awesome is great! Let's all level up! Easy for me! [explosion] [thud] Boom! Toast-mode unlocked. [electricity crackling] Toast-mode! [electric explosion] What is that? [Robin] If these readings are correct, something is breaking into our universe from another Earth! What? Did any of you dummies feel... That's new. [electricity crackling] [thunder rumbling] It is the menacing and the sparkly. I am the conflicted. [crashes] [all] Aah! [screaming] [crashes] Argh! Tiger claw! Lion's tail! Antelope! [groans] [straining] [grunts] What are you? [all whimpering] [Raven] I did not like that. [Starfire] Where's even are we? [male voice] Welcome, heroes! [all yelping] [whimpering in fear] Welcome! To my arena. Who are you? Oh, I'm just a friend, ha-ha. Call me the Master of Games... [echoing] Yo, unless those games come with video, puts us back in our house! But you haven't yet heard my offer. I have traveled throughout the Multiverse in search of one thing! A smaller forehead? The greatest version of every hero. What do you mean "version"? You may be the Titans of this Earth. But there are actually Infinite Earths... and each one is different! [both] Wha... [snaps fingers] Uh, I get it! Here, we're heroes! But on another Earth we might be villains, or robots, or medieval knights! Ooh! Is there an Earth where we're all mermaids? No, those don't exist. Or a steam-punk Earth, where we all wear goggles and top hats? Oh, yeah, with goggles on the top hats! - No. - Ooh-ooh, I got one! A world where we're all animals? Yo, I be that all day and every day! Okay. So, I'd be Cy-bunny, who's a bunny, who's also half robot. And Starfire can be Star-fish-fire! What about an Earth where you became great heroes? Beloved by all! There's basically zero-percent chance an Earth like that exists, bro. That remains to be seen. This is the Worlogog. [all gasps] Wallgog. [Master of Games] This marvelous artifact shows me every possibility. And allows me to determine which is the greatest version of every hero... through combat... You want us to fight an alternate version of ourselves? Ooh, is it the Mermaid Titans? Or those goggles guy, with the top hats? Whichever version it is, they won't stand a chance against us. - Hmm, won't they? - No. - Won't they? - I just said no. Oh, won't they? Why do you keep saying "Won't they"? Because Robin... [all gasp] You've already met. [all gasp] [gasps] Hasn't we seen them before? Their Robin is so handsome. Look at those guys. So tall... and such big hands. Wouldn't you like to battle these other Titans? Prove that you're just as good as they are? More than anything! Very well, Teen Titans. Face your challenges. The Teen Titans! [upbeat music playing] [cheering] Welcome to the tournament of Titans! Wo-ho-ho-ho! Cool! Yeah! You ruined my childhood! I don't know, isn't this a little suspici... This is perfect! Just what we need to kick us up a notch. Let's prove we are the best Titans in the Multiverse. But, Robin... [sighs] You don't understand. I can't fight. Aw, I wouldn't say "can't," you're just not as good as I am. But then who is? Them? [Cyborg] They're the serious versions of us. [announcer reading] Uh, I'm pretty sure we're the serious versions of us. No, check it out, you can tell by how tall they are. See? He's like five heads tall. Now, look at your short self, three heads, tops. And you also have the tiny baby hands. We've moved past my little baby hands! Point is, more tall means more serious. Both teams will square off in an all-out rumble. Throw your opponents out of the ring and victory will be yours. Let the tournament begin! [thud] [beeping] Remember, we have to play along with this to save our Earth. Don't go too hard on those baby versions of us. Ow! "Baby versions?" I heard that! Okay, maybe rough them up a little. Don't worry, we'll show them how it's done. [trumpets] [beeping] [buzzer sounds] [all yelling] [both yelling unenthusiastically] - Hey. - 'Sup? Look, I don't know what to call you. Would you rather "Toy Robin"? "Shorter Robin"? "Bobblehead Robin"? [screams] Whoa, settle down, guy. This is all just a silly game to you guys, isn't it? Whoo! Ah, almost got me! [laughs] [both screaming] Oh, so you are the Starfire of your Earth. On your Earth, do you have a Silkie? I do. How much of the Earth food do you consume? As much as will fit in my nine stomachs. [groaning] Feed me... I am the same! - [growling] - [screams] - [growling] - [screams] - [growling] - [screams] [screams] I gotta say, not psyched about this fight. Oh? I spent a lot of time battling my own inner demons. This is kind of annoyingly literal. Yeah, tell me about it. What is your problem? This tournament must be a trap of some kind. [growling] The Master of Games obviously cannot be trusted. You should obviously avoid my fist in your face! [laughing] Now we're talking. Yeah, three heads, you show that tall dummy. Glitter bomb! Is this a joke? You'd think that, but then a few months from now you'll still be finding glitter in your house. And you'll be all, "Curse that other Cyborg! Handsome devil." [screaming] We should be working together to figure out what is going on. We'll never join you. [straining] Have it your way. [Master of Games] Loser! Ladies and gentlemen, we have our first elimination. I love you so much! [whooping] The what? Time to bring out the big guns. [announcer reading] Ha, nice try! [announcer reading] Oh, come on! Is there anything you do that's not horrible? I don't know, how do you like this? Ow, stop that! - This is weird. - Give up then. Not a chance. Booyah! That's my line. Mine first. [Master of Games] Loser. Hey, foul, dude. You put me together wrong. I'm an actual butt-head. Ho-ho, there it is. That's two to zero. We's looking like chumps, yo. Star, yous gotta do something! Ah! Oh, yes! The battle. - [both] Hmm. - [gasps] [whispers indistinctly] Glorious! [both] One, two, three, four, we declare the thumb war. [announcer reading] [grunting] [growling] Classic. [both screaming] [whimpering] I am the victorious. Way to go, Star! [Master of Games] Loser. - [growling] - [screaming] Same side! We're both green! Ah! Hmm. [screeching] [snarling] [meows] [snarling] [meows] Hmm? [snarling] Aw, I can't squash this little guy. Look at him. Boom! Now you gots a whale in yo face, fool. Ouch. Oh! [Master of Games] Loser! That's how we do it on Earth, Earth, Earth, Earth. Awesome! What's that? Looks like we've got a tied game. Uh-uh, you knows it. Uh-uh, you know... Uh... Never mind. [groans] Loser! You know, I thought they were the baby versions of us, but I think they're actually the jerk versions of us? [screaming] [giggles] [Master of Games] Loser! Way to put up a fight, Star. The important thing is participation and the good sportsmanship. The important thing is we need Raven to turn this around. Looks like our shorter Titans are running short on contestants. I don't really feel like fighting you guys, so I'm just gonna go. You can have this one. Congrats. - What? - Oops. Sorry, Raven, there's no room for quitters in this game. Why not? Let her step out of the ring, she forfeits. No, she can't do that, she has to fight, or at least eliminate two more of you. Why? Because of an explanation, which I, I have. This is weird, right? He didn't seem to care what happened until it involved her. [buzzer] Let me out. - No. - Let... me... out! [cracking] Sorry. [gasps] Her gem. Raven, calm down before you lose control of yourself. Don't tell me what to do. - [all gasping] - [snarling] That can't be good. Yes! - [grunts] - Loser! Ugh! [laughing] [screaming] Loser! Yes! We can still win this! Have fun being losers, losers! Really, dude? [whooping] [thudding] Cyborg, we have to get to the Master of Games. Find a frequency for these crystal cages that will shatter them. Copy. [beeping] [screams] [screeching] [straining] That's it! [gasps] Almost there. Azarath Metrion Zinthos! [thud] Aw, shucks, close enough. - How did you... - I'll explain later. But right now we have bigger problems. I think I know who's behind this. Who? [all gasp] Ha-ha! What a stunning turn of events. What are those? They've turned Ray! Both of them! Ugh! Raven, I'm coming to save you! Eventually... Cyborg, now! [shattering] Whoa, Cyborg, any idea how... the other you broke the crystals? I think he vestake whooshe plinthor shlebdak roothas minnerlip brusselop. Those all sound like words. Let's give it a shot. [speakers blasting techno music] Titans, take him down! Ow! All right, what's really going on here? And how do we cause it to cease? Ah, well, that was fun while it lasted. [all gasp] [all straining] [laughing] [all gasp] [continues laughing] Hi, there. Trigon? That's right. You mortals fell for the oldest trick there is. A rigged sporting event. [all gasp] Wow, they wasn't even real and they rooted against us. Goofy Titans, is that the Trigon of your Earth? Yeah, he's a real pain. This one time, he gave me a puppy for a hand, which seems awesome, but was actually... Then could that be... [rumbling] [all scream] [thud] [all] The other Trigon? But Raven defeated him, he was destroyed. Yeah, well, I brought him back. Mostly. What's up with the one leg? [mockingly] Tripod. [laughing] - 'Cause he's got three legs. - Yeah. That's a good one. What is the meaning of this? By siphoning my daughter's demon power, I've restored big Trigon here to existence. - Eh, almost... - [groaning] Once her demon is fully drained, big Triggy here will regain all his power. [growling] And then, using this Worlogog, we will conquer the Multiverse together. And there's nothing you can do to stop us! [laughs] [all gasp] Oh, and, uh, bye! Raven! We'll save Raven after we get off this thing. Cyborg, save the baby versions of us. [shattering] [all gasp] [all panting] [beeping] [screaming in distance] [all scream] [continue screaming] Uh, why are they... Uh, whatever. Ooh, that's right. - I can fly! Ooh, yes. - I got these. [chuckles] [panting] Everyone okay? - [screaming] - [thud] [crackling] Everyone who counts, I mean. What's that supposed to mean? I mean, this is your team's fault. Why didn't you try to work with us? It's like all you cared about was winning. Of course that's what we cared about. [cracking] [mockingly] That's why we joined the tournament. Really? We joined because he told us if we didn't he'd destroy our whole planet. We were just buying time till we could make a plan, obviously. Ooh, that's a better reason than ours. It does not matter whose reason was more grebbler necky. Yes, our friends Raven are in the danger. It is time for the cooperation. [whirring] [scoffs] We don't need their help. - Right, guys? - Don't see how they could. We can't trust 'em. Oh, you think you're so great because you're tall and serious and a good leader and people listen to you and you have normal sized hands... You are literally just listing reasons I am so great. Well, we don't want your help. Right, my guys? - I don't know, we probably do. - Yeah, why not? [groans] Can't you back up your leader this one time? Leader? That doesn't sound right. Yeah. I likes to thinks of you as a cool uncle. - Heh-heh-heh. - Who's not that cool. - I've got a nickle. - We're practically the same age! We are? [screaming] Wow, time's been real rough on you, my man. You've got some city miles on that face. [scoffs] Some team. Enough! Despite the differences, our teams must work together. Perhaps our point will make more sense through the singing of the songs. [introductory piano music playing] [upbeat music playing] [rapping] We are different From each other No doubt about that Go lookin' Low budget-designs are flat But let's keep it one hundred You got charm and appeal So what? Go, silly I don't see the big deal You guys are a sad, dark, And boy, you are the bummer Watching you every week, I'd be bored But, I got a hunch You pack an awesome punch It's time for this dumb feud To be ignored You're taller tougher, Better looking than me You got fish breath, You're ugly, B - Don't fight or fuss - Cooperation is a must Time for us to work with us We are, we are Teen Titans We are, we are Teen Titans We are, we are Teen Titans We are, we are Teen Titans Okay, I get it, You're stocked With more devices I can make a burger pizza, Cut it up into slices Hey, not bad, We both can blame our dads For turning us Into half-robotic dudes I sing all day And the ladies Find me charming - My Terra died - Whoa! That's alarming! I'd love to go on hating, But there's no use debating The Go! version of the Titans Gets really good ratings Facts Let's team up to kick butt Guess I will if I must Time for us to work with us We are, we are Teen Titans We are, we are Teen Titans We are, we are Teen Titans We are, we are Teen Titans No use fightin', Slightin', or ignitin' All the same might, Same bite, great writin' At the end of the day, We're all Teen Titans We are, we are Teen Titans We are, we are Teen Titans We are, we are Teen Titans We are, we are Teen Titans Ugh... [elevator dings] All right, teamwork's great and all, but we gots to save Raven. - Now! - Agreed! Titans, go! [whirring] Are you guys coming or... Where? What's the plan? Plan? We're going... [screams] [straining] Ugh. But going where? You just pointed in the random direction and then ran out of the room. That's how we do. Which is probably how you get into these messes. Look, the Trigons took our friends using a multi-dimensional Worlogog. But we don't know where they went and have no way of following them. We need a plan. We'll come up with a plan mid go, like always, right? - Oh, well... - Um, sure, okay. You know, maybe we could, I don't know, go in a different direction. Tall Robin is, um, talking sense to me. We can't mess this up. It's the Raven mamas. Let us give the other Robin a chance to come up with a plan. As smart and tall as he is. [chuckles nervously] Don't worry. I'll figure out a way to find the Ravens and get them back. - Yeah, all right. - He's so handsome. [grumbles] [yawns] Hello, sweetie. Ah! Wakey, wakey. Oh, man. - So this is still happening, huh? - Looks like it. I really thought I'd defeated my Trigon. You did. And because I was destroyed by the power of a Raven, only a Raven's power can bring me back. And once a gem cracked, it became the perfect opportunity. How could you do this to me? I've been trying to take over the universe with you for ages, but you had to be a hero and hang out with your friends. So now, I am taking over the Multiverse without you. Why drag her in? I need her. For what? I will finally destroy you. [laughs sinisterly] And together we'll show the Multiverse that Trigon is not to be trifled with. I alone am already feared. Speak for yourself, little me. No, I-I just meant, between the two of us we would be even more... Silence! I am still weak and your prattle irritates me. Now, release to me your power, small demon child. No, thanks. Come on, sweetie, so he can be fully returned to existence. You don't mind? Hmm, do you? Still a no. Enough of this! Give me your demon! You hear me? [squeaking] [gargling] Don't give into him, Raven, stay strong. I've dealt with worse. Yo, Cy, check it out. [both panting] - What are they doing? - Ask 'em. What are you guys doing? Staying sharp. Waiting for Robbie's plan. Don't you guys ever just, you know, kick it? Ooh, I am the best at kicking. [crashing] Yeah, I meant, like, relax? - Chill. - Have fun. You can't just go around having fun while the Ravens are kidnapped and the Trigons are on the loose with the Worlogog. See right there, even that word... "Worlogog." It is the fun to say, it makes your mouth feel the seasick. Worlogog. Worlogog. Wo-wo-wo-Worlogog. Try it. Worlogog? Man, don't just try it, like... Try it... Worlogog. Try it, try it. Worlogog. Don't fight it, fight it. Worlogog? Worlogog! Wo-wo-Worlogog. - Worlogog - Wo-wo Worlogog - Worlogog - Wo-wo Worlogog - Worlogog - Wo-wo Worlogog - Worlogog - Wo-wo Worlogog - Worlo-he? - Worlo-who? - Worlo-me? - Wo-wo-worlo-you! Gi-gi-ga-ga-ga-ga Worlogog Gi-gi-gi-gi-ga-ga-ga-ga Worlogog Makes my mouth feel Feel so seasick But in a good way Worlogog Whoa... Why did we just do that? To pad out. What? Screen time. You're welcome. Now, go get our couch. I was told this was the escalator out of here. [screams] Hmm. Huh, very good. So, since I'm not gonna use my powers, I guess we're stuck here for a while. Time has no meaning to Trigon. - Right, but what if you have to scratch your nose? - Or get thirsty? It's pretty hot down here, I know I'm parched. I am Trigon the terrible, the lord of madness. I do not get parched. If you say so. [slurping] [grunts] Other Trigon, to me. Number one, we've got to figure out what to call each other. Number two, you can't just order me around. I have become parched. Procure me a soda. Wouldn't water be more hydrating? Soda! Fine, but just this once. Larger! Place it to my lips. I'm not gonna do that. You must, it is the only way we can conquer existence! [grumbles] Higher, higher. - No. - Stop moving you mouth. I'm trying to move the straw, but you're moving to where the straw used to be. Stop, now, stop. My-my eye! [mumbling] You're not listening. I'm trying to move the straw, but you're moving to where the straw... Stop, now, le... - [grumbles] - Just give me that thing! [gulping] [slurping] Oh, yeah. Soda... Well, good. I'm glad you're happy now! The Ravens have escaped, haven't they? Yep. They tricked us. Pretty obvious, in hindsight. Ha-ha, eh, big guy? Find them! [rumbling] Keep moving, I think I see light up ahead. [straining] [sighs] Where are we? We're home. This is my Earth. Come on, we'll have to walk. Walk? Ugh, this is the worst thing that has ever happened to anyone in history. Worse than spending more time with our dads? [Big Trigon] You haven't found them yet? [Little Trigon] What was that? I-I couldn't hear you the first time! Ugh... Walking it is. We're trapped on this alternate Earth and everyone is counting on me to come up with a plan. [wind] Me... I've trained my whole life for this moment and I can't let them down. - The Multiverse is at stake and... - [Robin] So, uh... What are ya doing? I'm... thinking. Trying to come up with a plan. Ooh, I get it. Brooding heroically is how I think of plans, too. Ha-ha, I'll join you. I really wish you wouldn't. Oh right. Got it. Uh, I'll just be right over here. Ha. Don't mind me. This is the price of leadership. The cost of being a hero... Leadership... Hero! Could you stop that? What? I'm helping. Ugh! Fine, I'll leave. How do you get your hair to blow in the wind like that? Go away! [elevator dings] Eh, I dunno about that guy. I know he says he's coming up with a plan, but when it turns out he's a bust, don't worry, I'll bail us out. [Cyborg] I don't think we're going to need that. Yeah, these serious Titans are great. And we're really getting in sync, yo! Watch this. Guess what I'm gonna change into... Now! See? Ha-ha! And I have been getting the tips for the feeding of the Silkie. Yes, you have all been feeding your Silkie too much garbage. [shudders] Me and my dude are going over the data he got from that crystal doohickey. He's got some great programs. Yes. This cybernetic body is a gift... And a curse. Hey, what did we say? [grumbles] There are no downsides to a cool robot body. That's right, that's a good cyborg. Oh, wow. Yay. We are all besties now. Ha! Titans! I have a plan. - All right, let's hear it! - Shh! Shh! Listen, listen! The Trigons used the Worlogog to transport us to this Earth. But it came from our Earth. That's right, the wavelengths match our frequency, not theirs. So, if everything on this Earth is a copy of ours... [wheezes] Other way around, pal. Then there must be a Worlogog here, too. We just have to find it, and use it to get to the Ravens! Where would we even start? Considering that the fake Master of Games was using it as a looking glass to find us all, we need to find someone like him. So, we need a dude who can be everywhere at once... And can see everything, like when you're sleeping or-or awake... Oh! [gasp] Of course! It is the obvious! What is? What's the obvious? It's so simple! That's how's he goes to every house on Earth in just one night! Who? Santa Claus. So they really weren't joking. [grunts] [softly] Hurry. Before there are more of the elves. [whispering] Wait. On this Earth, you regularly battle the real Santa Claus? Not all the time. Just for holiday specials. Sometimes we team up with Santa. But always there is the betrayal. It is the complicated. Reindeer! [screams] All the better. [all] Wha... [shushing] Sleep. Ugh... [electricity crackling] [beeping, alarm sounds] [all gasp] Ho, ho, ho... What took you so long? [whispers] We are the spotted! I always knew you Titans would come for the Worlogog one day, just a matter of time. Hand it over, Santa! There doesn't need to be any trouble. [excitedly] Santa Claus. He's right there. Every time you Titans travel to the North Pole, you get the best of me. But not this time. You'll have to face my secret weapon. [chuckles] What is this weapon of the secret? My wife. And you don't want to get on her bad side. She's a real lump of coal, she is. [beeps] [all gasp] [whirring] [whirring continues] [Teen Titans] Mrs. Claus? [announcer reading] "Mrs. Claus" was my mother's name. Call me Megan. [announcer reading] You can have the Worlogog when you pry it from my cold hands. They're cold because of the North Pole! Get it? That's not even funny! [battle cry] [crazed cackling] [whistling lively tune] [gasps] Yes, hi. Have seen two sullen looking teens? About this tall and this tall? [screaming] Ugh, okay. Thanks for nothing. He's gone. Let's keep moving. I'm not sure I've ever done this much walking. Not a fan. It's not so bad... [grunts] I... like it... even. I think... walking is... fun. [grunts] Once we get back to my tower, we can figure out how to contact the Titans and fix the crack in your gem. That way they can't siphon your demon powers away. Or maybe I should just let them? What? You don't mean that. Our powers are part of who we are. I know, I just... I wouldn't mind being rid of my demon side either. Just once I'd love to feel... normal. But your demon side is still you. It can be used for good. You just have to embrace it instead of trying to lock it away. What if it takes over? What if it hurts my friends... I've learned to calm my powers by focusing on the things that tether me to my humanity. - What are they? - My friends. Come on, we are almost there. Ugh! So, if you could fly again, but you'd become an evil demon, you'd really choose walking? Don't make me second guess this. [screaming] [crazed cackling] [crazed cackling] Naughty! You're not nice! Aah! [yelling] [grunting] Mmm! Ugh! It's official. I hate this goofy Earth! We just have to get the Worlogog away from her! Hoo-ya! Titans, attack pattern alpha four! Copy that. [grunts] [gasps] [grunting] Ooh! Look at 'em! They're doing that thing where they're good at being superheroes! Oh! Oh! I love when they do that! [mockingly] I love when they do that. [yelling] No! [gasps] [in slo-mo] My Worlogog! [in slo-mo] I got it! That's right! Let's do this thing. Whoops, that didn't work. Now that's more like it! Everybody hop on! We're outta here! Cyborg cycle, activate alpha maneuver 42-delta! That means let's make a portal. You have to agree on codes ahead of time! Did you think we were just yelling random gibberish in battle? I guess I did think that, yes. Don't just stand there, get the sleigh! I don't know how to create a portal! I've never used a Worlogog before. Just zap it or something! [all] Cool! [all gasp] That's my Worlogog! Gimme. Gimme! [Robin] Go! Go! Go! [all] Whoa! [Cyborg] Where are we? We must be between Earths. Some sort of wormhole that connects to each of them through these portals. Well, which portal leads to yours? I don't know, but we better find out quick. [evil laugh] We have to find our Earth! We gotta lose the Santas first! [clanking] Whoa, did we make it? This looks like their Earth I bet. Ya know, 'cause it's all drab. No... This is closer, but I don't think we're... [Nightwing] Who are you! What are you? - [awed gasp] Whoa! - [ding] Aw, man, look at that guy! I see him. See, I thought you were the cool serious one, but that dude is the cool serious one. Uh-huh. Like, compared to him, you're a silly little joke-man, like me! Except worse! Because you try to be serious. You just failin' at it! So it's agreed, these be the real serious Titans. And they have an even more handsome Robin! [swoons] - Let's get out of here! - Yes, we have to save Raven! [cackle] Naughty! Naughty! Naughty! Aw, man, I thought we ditched them! Huh. Was that... Santa Claus? [gasps] [screaming] [baby Cyborg] They took out the treehouse! Hey, look! Actual baby Titans! With little baby hands and everything. See! Those are the little, pants-wetting baby Titans, not us. [evil laughter] Don't we have any way of shooting back? I'm glad you asked. Awesome. [yelling] I want to shoot the giant gun. [narrator] Meanwhile, over the depths of the Atlantic the titans face... Oh, my stars! Golly gee! That's what's up! I knew it! I knew it! Goggles on top hats! Ha-ha! [angry chittering] Aw, we just can't lose these fools! I've got an idea. Everybody, hold on! This thing's got one thing that old sleigh of theirs doesn't. Brakes. [both] Huh? [gasping] [screaming] Oy... Well, that just roasts my chestnuts. Where the holly are we? I think we're back on Earth, heh-heh. But... Oh, no! - Santa! - Presents! [giggling] A mall in December! [screams] No! No! Get off Me! Ah! No! [children clamoring] Okay, now we lost 'em. And we have a lock on our Earth. We can take us to the Ravens. Hold up! When we gets there, how's we gonna fight two Trigons? We'll need a plan for when we arrive. I just have to think for a second. Trapped between worlds, the whole team, no, the whole Multiverse is counting on me. I've come a long way from my days at the circus, but I have to think of a way to get the Raven's back to safety. [continues ranting] Wow, seriously, does he do this every time? Quiet, quiet, everyone listen to the handsome Robin. - Titans! I've got a plan! - [all but Robin] All right! Robin's plans are the best! Aw, man, he makes good plans. Yay. No, no, it's great. It is, really. So we're setting a course for home? Not yet, we've got a few stops to make first. [sigh] That wasn't so bad. See? I can manage without powers. Come on, let's take that ferry to the tower. Then I'll figure out a way... [both gasp] Aw, nuts. Surprised? Only an imbecile wouldn't realize that this is where you were headed. You rang? Leave her alone. Both of you! Give us what we want and no one will get hurt. [grunts] [growling] [gasps] Let her go. [sing-song] No can do! If you care for my daughter then you have a choice. Give me the rest of your demon or the other me will destroy her. [growling] [gasps] [screeching] Too easy. Yes. No. He shoots, he scores! [screams] - Raven. - [evil laughter] Hmm? [both] Huh? Ugh, what? What up, big T? Check out this fist I made. [grunts] Whoo! We made it. Get the other Trigon! [groans] Raven, what's the situation? She's alive, but all her powers have been drained. More on that later, you okay, Mama? - Ugh... - Mama Ray-Ray... I feel... I feel... I feel great! And you've never looked so handsome. What? Guys, something's really wrong with Raven. Actually, I've never felt better! With her demon side removed, this is what she's like. She's... happy. [crackling] [all gasp] [groans] You fool! You didn't think they'd find the Worlogog from your Earth? - It wasn't easy! - That Mrs. Claus is legit! Yeah, I just figured Santa's wife had it covered. First you resurrect me minus a leg, then you let the Ravens get away, and now you've allowed the Titans to return to this Earth! It's not like we can't defeat them, there's two of us. How could you be so careless? So unfathomably stupid? Oh, I know, it's because everything from your world is just a pea brained, squashed down, bobbleheaded version of ours! - Oh, no, he didn't. - [Cyborg] Oh, that's wrong. [tearfully] I've had about enough of you. [growls] - [all] Whoa! - That's crazy. [rumbling] Is no one on my side? I've tried to take over the universe with my daughter... But no. [belches] What's happening? Why are people growing limbs and stuff? Her dad consumed my dad's power. He's leveling up. I tried to take over the Multiverse with myself... [grunts] But no! This is the unfortunate bending of events. If you want something done right... you have to do it yourself. I am Trigon no longer. The Multiverse will tremble at the name of... Hexagon! [echoing] Wait, like the shape? No, not like the shape. Like me, Hexagon! Because I have twice the power I once possessed. Yeah, and twice the butts. Yo, [laughs] this dude's got two butts! Of course I do! I have doubled my entire being so... So, you intentionally gave yourself the two butts? No, I mean, yes... It was intentional in the sense that I knew it would happen, but it's not like the two butts was the selling point! It feels like you're really attached to the two butts, guy. That's fine, just go with it. Silence! - [all groaning] - Too many butt jokes. I am Hexagon, destroyer of universes! With the Worlogog, I can travel the Multiverse and bend it to my will and there is nothing you little "heroes" can do to stop me! [sighs] That would probably be true, except for one thing... We didn't come alone. - Hi-ho, hello. - How are you? Here for the fight. - Kah. - Tweet, tweet! It's them! The Protein Titans! I'm just so happy! Say hello to the Teen Titans of Infinite Earths. [all blowing kiss] Bleh. You can maybe defeat two teams of Titans... I definitely could. But now you're up against all of us! - Titans of Infinite Earths... - Go! [growling] [both] Aim for the face! [laughing] [growls] Ooh, ooh, ooh, let's all be piranha! I always wanna do piranha, but one piranha is pretty pointless. Don'ts I know it. [screeching] [Hexagon] One of my utters! Tamaranian battle formation Gleebrex! [all] Reckzar! [both screaming] Ready... aim... booyah! [Hexagon] Ow! That hurts a little. - My eight pack! - Azarath Metrion Zinthos! - Stop! - Keep it up, crew! [floundering] [playing upbeat music] It is working! We have the above hand! - [yelps] - Enough of this foolishness! [straining] [growls] [screaming] [groaning] - But... my plan. - Guess you didn't see that one coming, did ya, Boy Wonder. [growls] [growling] [groaning] You know, I never noticed how colorful everything is. [screaming] Like this rock streaking towards me. It's beautiful... Raven, you have to snap out of this! We need you! Uh, can't you get your powers back somehow? Yes, that's it! Raven's demon got loose when her gem cracked, all we have to do to get it back is break Hexagon's gem. Then my Trigon will fade out of existence and your Trigon will be... well, your Trigon. [shrugging] Meh. - He's not so bad. Huh? - [thud] [rumbling] [all straining] [growling] Raven, we have to get your demon back. Ooh... [sucks in air] I'm feeling pretty great without it. But thanks. I super appreciate the offer. Look around you. Remember how worried you were that your demon powers might hurt your friends? Well, there you go. [groaning] [groans] [floundering] Why? [crying] He was a turtle. [sigh] You're right, but what do you want me to do? You have to eat me. What? You have to absorb my powers. By eating me. Shoots, you could eat all of them. That many Ravens you'd be like... a Mega Raven! [straining] You'd have the power of an entire flock. He's right. But, I don't want to... Why can't you eat me? Because... My mouth won't animate that big. [gasps] Okay. Here goes nothing. [chomps] [growling] Yes! [chomping] Gross. [grunts] You two again? [screaming] [chomping] Is it working? [lip smacks] I don't know, [smack] but I taste surprisingly delicious. Argh! I think that's a yes. [both scream] Huh? At last... [zapping] This looks like the end. [growling] Huh? Impossible. [thud] It's Raven. I think. Weird. What are you supposed to be? What, you don't know a flock of Ravens when you see one? We are... the Unkindness. [both] Ha-ha, sick! Do it, Raven! Finish him off! [screeching] Daughter, you cannot defy me! Oh, yeah? Then I guess I can't do this! [groaning] [siren wailing] Oh, come on! [roars] [all scream] [growls] [screeches] You will not defeat me! I am Hexagon! I will not be foiled by the likes of you. [grunting] - [straining] - Yes... We've got to do something! We have need of the plan! Another plan? We're already three plans deep. There's no time to plan. We just gotta... "go." Give me the Worlogog. Time to save the day. [gulps] [all] What? Well, everyone was eating things, so... They're all demons, it don't work like that for us. [straining] Wait, I have another idea. Get me to his Worlogog! With pleasure. Pull! [battle cry] [exclaims] Hmm? Argh! Boom! Oomph! [gasps] [growls] Ugh... No, get back in there. Oh, no, you don't! [both straining] Come on, Titans! Raven needs help with the tug of the war! You cannot defeat me, daughter. I am immortal. I am forever, I... Am the out numbered. [all straining] No! It's mine! You never wanted it anyway! Well, I was wrong. I'm half human, aren't I? [all straining] - No! - Argh! [spits] Hmm? Where am I? [moaning and growls] Ah! Uh... Hmm? No, no, no! [groaning and coughing] [growling] R-Raven? [growls] You still in there, Mama? [gasps] - Oh, you're back. - [growls] Yeah, I know. You think I don't like you. But maybe... Maybe it's because I never got to know you. [growls] I'm not the best people person, or demon person, for that matter. But I promise, no more gems, no more safes. Whatever we do going forward, we do it together. [echoes] [growls] What are you all staring at? It's just me. - Joy! We are the saved! - [all chanting] Raven! Raven! Raven! - [cheering] - Nice job, Raven! [chuckling] All right, all right. I'm still a demon, you know. Titans of Infinite Earths, time to hit the road! Goodbye, Protein Titans! You were as beautiful as I hoped you'd be! Good job saving the Multiverse, everyone. Me and my very serious Teen Titans have to go back to our very serious world. And have, I assume, very serious PG-13 adventures. Robin, you are not the Nightwing. He is the much better looking. It's just you guys now, time to go home. [clangs] It's been... weird. But you've got a lot of cool stuff packed in that robot body. Thanks! I also have a waffle maker in here somewhere, but it never came up. [stammers] I just wanted you to know that. Goodbye, sister from the other Earth. Oh, I will miss the you. It is hard being the only Tamaranian on a team of all humans. And whatever Robin is. I believe, a wombat. [Robin] Hey! [animal noises] Laters, good-looking! When I first met you, I thought you were weird and annoying. - And? - And you are. But... But you're also a good superhero, in your own weird way. But with several more years training and, assuming you reach a normal height... Let's be done shaking hands now. I'm not really a goodbye person. Same. If your dad ever comes back and you need someone to help beat him up... I know who to call. See ya around. Titans, go! Back to our Earth! Hey, shouldn't we be taking that with us? - Nope! - It came from our Earth. - Not important. - What if we ever need to come back? - You won't. - [zapping] Phew! Ugh, I feel so much better, ha-ha-ha. That was, uh, trying, to say the least. Am I right? [laugh] Yeah? Star? Heh-heh. Yeah? [all screaming] [Robin inhales and exhales] Breathe it in, team, that's the smell of our Earth. Kinda smells like... [sniffs] garbage. No "kinda" about that. I thought the garbage smell was intentional. So did we level up? I don't feel any different. That's because we didn't, Beast Boy. Well, we already know you didn't, three heads. This adventure was never about me leveling up, it was about Raven. And, boy, did she ever level up! Ha. Thanks, handsome. The important thing is it's all over. And you know the best part of a Multiverse-imperiling superhero crossover event? - What? - [clangs] Aw, don't ask him, now he's gonna explain it. It's that there won't be another one for at least a year. [swooshing] Pitiful maggots of Earth! Prepare to be obliterated by Darkseid and the Armies of Apokolips! - No way. - Nopes. - Hard pass! - No, Mr. Seid. I'm out. We are, we are Teen Titans We are, we are Teen Titans We are, we are Teen Titans We are, we are Teen Titans [rumbling and screaming in distance] [gunfire and screaming] [explosion and screaming] [lasers firing] [woman screaming] - [gunfire] - [woman] Where are the Teen Titans? The tall ones! Not the short ones! [explosions] [explosions and rumbling] [loud explosion] Ugh, what's he doing now? The big jerk and the little flying jerks are building a giant tower. Of course they are. How the original. Now the tower is firing a laser into the sky. Bet it's going to open a portal. [Cyborg] The laser's opening a portal over the city. Called it. But what is coming out of the portal? More jerks. It is always the more jerks. [Robin] Titans of Infinite Earths! [echoing] Go! We are, we are Teen Titans! We are, we are Teen Titans! We are, we are Teen Titans! We are, we are Teen Titans! No use fightin', slightin' or ignitin' All the same might, Same bite, great writin' At the end of the day, We're all Teen Titans We are, we are Teen Titans! We are, we are Teen Titans! We are, we are Teen Titans! We are, we are Teen Titans! - Worlogog - Wo-wo Worlogog - Worlogog - Wo-wo Worlogog - Worlogog - Wo-wo Worlogog - Worlogog - Wo-wo Worlogog - Worlo-he? - Worlo-who? - Worlo-me? - Wo-wo-worlo-you! Gi-gi-ga-ga-ga-ga Worlogog Gi-gi-gi-gi-ga-ga-ga-ga Worlogog Makes my mouth feel Feel so seasick But in a good way Worlogog [Beast Boy] Why did we just do that? To pad out. What? [Cyborg] Screen time. You're welcome. |
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