United Airlines announcing
the arrival of Flight 9435 from Beijing.
Customer service representative,
report to Gate C42.
All visitors to the US should
line up at booths one through 15.
Please have your I-94 forms filled out.
- What's the purpose of your visit?
- What is the purpose of your visit?
What is the purpose of your visit?
Business or pleasure?
Just visiting. Shopping?
Au plaisir.
- Pleasure.
- Business.
How long will you be staying?
Could I see your return ticket?
- What's the purpose of your visit?
- Business or pleasure?
Enjoy your stay. Next.
Please have your passports,
immigration forms, I-94,
and customs declarations
ready to hand to the inspector.
- Stand by. He's fishing.
- Copy that.
See this bunch
of Mickey Mouse sweatshirts?
That's the tour from China,
connecting to Orlando.
When was the last time
you saw Chinese tourists
on their way to Disney World
without any cameras?
Possible forged documents
on 10 and 11.
Sir. Sir. Passport.
Thank you.
Welcome, Mr. Navorski.
Purpose of your visit?
Business or pleasure?
Sir, I have an IBIS hit on six.
No!
Mr. Navorski, please follow me.
... flight number 746 from Montreal
must proceed to US Immigration
before claiming their luggage.
All right, Mr. Navorski,
we'd like you to wait here, please.
Next, please.
Next, please.
What are you doing
in the United States, Mr. Navorski?
Yellow taxicab, please.
Take me to Ramada Inn,
Staying at the Ramada Inn?
Keep the change.
Do you know anyone in New York?
Yes.
- Who?
- Yes.
- Who?
- Yes.
- No, do you know anyone in New York?
- Yes.
- Who?
- Yes.
OK, Mr. Navorski, I need to see
your return ticket, please.
No, your return ticket. Your...
- Oh... Yes.
- Ah.
This is just a standard procedure.
I'm going to need the passport also.
Oh... OK.
- No, no.
- Thank you.
Mr. Navorski.
That. Passport.
That.
Mr. Navorski?
Sorry to keep you waiting.
I'm Frank Dixon, Director of Customs
and Border Protection here at JFK.
I help people
with their immigration problems.
We're looking for
an interpreter for you.
How are we doing on that?
Do we have an interpreter?
But I understand
that you speak a little English.
- Yes.
- You do?
I hope you don't mind if I eat
while we talk. I've a bit of bad news.
Your country has suspended
all traveling privileges
on passports issued
by your government.
And our State Department
has revoked the visa
that was going to allow you
to enter the US.
That's it in a nutshell, basically.
While you were in the air there
was a military coup in your country.
Most of the dead were members
of the Presidential Guard.
They were attacked
in the middle of the night.
They got it all on GHN, I think.
There were few civilian casualties.
I'm sure your family's fine.
Mr. Navorski, your country
was annexed from the inside.
The Republic of Krakozhia
is under new leadership.
Krakozhia. Krakozhia
- Krakozhia.
- Right. I don't think he gets it.
Er... Let me... OK. Look.
Imagine that these potato chips
are Krakozhia.
Kra-kozhia.
- Kra-kozhia.
- Yes.
- Krakozhia.
- OK.
Er... So the potato chips are Krakozhia.
- And this apple...
- Big Apple. Big Apple.
...Big Apple represents
the Liberty Rebels.
OK?
No more Krakozhia! OK?
New government.
Revolution. You understand?
All the flights in and out
of your country have been suspended.
The new government has sealed all
borders, so your visa's no longer valid.
So, currently
you are a citizen of nowhere.
Now, we can't process you new papers
until the US recognizes your country's
new diplomatic reclassification.
You don't qualify for asylum,
refugee status,
temporary protective status,
humanitarian parole,
or non-immigration work travel.
You don't qualify for any of these.
You are at this time simply...
...unacceptable.
- Unacceptable.
- Unacceptable.
- Unacceptable.
Big Apple tour includes Brooklyn Bridge,
Empire State, Broadway show Cats.
I got more bad news for you.
Cats has closed.
OK. OK.
Now I go New York City. Thank you.
No, Mr. Navorski. I cannot allow you
to enter the United States at this time.
- Krakozhia.
- We can't allow you to go home either.
You don't really have a home.
Technically it doesn't exist.
It's like a Twilight Zone.
Do you get that show over there?
Talking Tina, Zanti Misfits.
Zanti Misfits was Outer Limits, sir.
Really? It's not important.
Where do I buy the Nike shoes?
OK, Mr. Navorski, come here.
Here's my dilemma, Mr. Navorski.
You have no right to enter the US
and I have no right to detain you.
You have fallen through
a crack in the system.
- I am crack.
- Yes. Until we get this sorted out,
I will allow you to enter
the International Transit Lounge.
I'm going to sign a release form
that is going to make you a free man.
- Free?
- Free. Free.
Free to go anywhere you like
in the International Transit Lounge.
- OK?
- OK.
- OK.
- OK.
OK.
Uncle Sam will have this
sorted out by tomorrow,
and welcome
to the United States. Almost.
- Thank you.
- OK. All right.
Thanks, Judge.
Announcing the arrival
of flight 76 from Singapore Airlines.
Now, Mr. Navorski.
Mr. Navorski. Mr. Navorski.
This is the International
Transit Lounge.
You are free to wait here.
These are food vouchers.
You can use them in the Food Court.
Your Krakozhian money is no good here.
This is a 15-minute,
prepaid calling card.
You may call home, if you like.
This, in case we need to contact you,
is a pager.
You must keep this
with you at all times.
Here is an ID badge for you
to get into CBP. Beyond those doors...
Mr. Navorski.
I'm going to need you to look at me.
Beyond those doors is American soil.
Mr. Dixon wants me to make it clear
that you are not
to enter through those doors.
You are not to leave this building.
America is closed.
America closed.
What I do?
There's only one thing
you can do here, Mr. Navorski.
Shop.
Passengers of flight 854
New York/Warsaw...
... the international community
tries to secure a peaceful resolution.
The populace has to wonder if
they will ever find political stability,
or find the leadership to secure
their place on the world stage.
And next this hour,
looking to buy a 90-foot yacht?
... taken hostage. We're hearing
that the Vice President has been killed
along with four cabinet members,
By dawn, rebel leaders
had surrounded the state houses.
In a symbolic gesture, the national flag
of Krakozhia was torn down
from the Presidential Palace
and the parliament building.
Please. Please.
Television.
Passenger Chen Wan-Shiu
and Liu Tao-Jing,
please come to podium
to pick up your boarding passes.
This just in. Last night a military coup
overthrew the government of Krakozhia.
Bombing and gunfire
were heard through the night.
Although details are unclear,
we are told that President Vagobagin
and his aides have been taken hostage.
Bonjour, monsieur.
You are a Red Carpet Club member?
I need to see
your boarding pass and club card, sir.
I'm sorry, sir.
This is a private lounge.
The public lounge is downstairs.
The tiniest nation in the region
has been shaken by another uprising.
Krakozhia has been involved in civil war
throughout the late '80s and '90s
as it has tried
to transition from Communist rule.
- Watch it!
- Please.
Please, telephone?
Telephone?
Telephone?
Please. Please.
Please. Please.
For security reasons, please
keep your luggage with you at all times.
Unattended luggage will be removed
for inspection and may be destroyed.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, you broke my bag!
I got this in Paris.
This is my favorite bag.
I can't believe you just broke my bag!
Mom, Dad! He broke my bag!
- Food document.
- Excuse me. Stop it. Stop it.
Do you have an appointment?
I don't let anyone to look
at my trash without an appointment.
I have an opening next Tuesday.
Tuesday. Tuesday,
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Tuesday.
It will be good time for you
to come back and get lost.
OK, goodbye. Sorry.
Tuesday.
Don't shoot!
She sleeps 12, Frank. Has a
She looks amazing.
She's my pot of gold
at the end of the rainbow.
She's a beautiful boat
and I hope you get her soon.
- You've earned her.
- Thank you, Frank.
- You have.
- Actually, I bought her yesterday.
Come on. Congratulations!
I'm nominating you to take my place.
You will assume the duties
of acting Field Commissioner
until you get approval from Washington.
Really? I don't know what to say.
- Jesus. Richard, is this real?
- It's real, Frank, it's real.
Don't pretend to be surprised.
You've been waiting for me to retire
or drop dead for years now.
No, I haven't been
waiting for you to retire.
That's all right, Frank.
My retirement will become official
the day you get sworn in.
- You've waited a long time for this.
- I have.
Just be careful
about the inspection process.
I will.
I've been here for 17 years...
We're talking about
the Field Commissioner position.
People are going to look to you
for leadership, to set an example.
What are you saying?
I'm saying the job is yours to lose.
Ship the Colombians
off to asylum hearings,
and call the parents
of those kids from Long Island.
Tell them it was a bad idea
to let them go to Jamaica.
Come on, let's go. South America
and Madrid are on the tarmac.
I want them out of here in half an hour.
Mr. Thurman.
There's a man walking around
the terminal in a bathrobe.
I know, sir. You put him there.
Welcome to the United States.
Next!
I need visa.
Where's your green form?
I can't do anything without it.
Go to the wall.
Next!
Sir.
The light green form.
I love it!
Light green.
Mr. Navorski, you cannot
get into New York without a visa.
You cannot get a visa
without a passport,
and you cannot get
a new passport without a country.
There's nothing
we can do for you here.
I give you light green.
I'm sorry,
but you've wasted an entire day.
At this time you are simply...
- Unacceptable.
- Yes.
Unacceptable.
Why is he still here?
You released him, sir.
You put him there.
Why doesn't he walk out the doors?
Why doesn't he try to escape?
- Sir, you told him to wait.
- I didn't think he'd actually do it.
I mean, he's in a crack.
Who the hell waits in a crack?
No news from the State Department,
but we can deport him in a few days.
Yeah, it could be a few days.
It could be a week, two weeks, a month.
Who knows what this guy is thinking,
what gulag he escaped from.
Next!
Everything he does comes back to me.
- You want him back in the holding cell?
- No, I'll show him the door.
Hello.
Hello.
- Do you have an appointment?
- Yes. 9.30.
Food document, trash. Tuesday.
Tuesday. I hate the Tuesday.
Excuse me.
Airports are tricky places,
Mr. Navorski.
I'm about to tell you something.
Something you can
never repeat to anyone.
Do you understand? It's a secret.
- Secret?
- Yes, a secret.
At 12 o'clock today, the guards
at those doors will leave their posts
and their replacements
are going to be five minutes late.
Late five minutes.
Yes. Late five minutes. At 12 o'clock.
Just today. Just this once.
No one is going
to be watching those doors.
- And no one will be watching you.
- So, America not closed.
No.
America, for five minutes, is open.
Have a nice life, Mr. Navorski.
Catch and release. It's simple.
Sometimes you land a small fish.
You unhook him
and place him back in the water.
You set him free so that somebody else
can have the pleasure of catching him.
All right, here we go.
OK. Call them off.
Johnson, clear the doors.
All right. Go.
Get out of there.
All right, there's the door.
All right.
Here we go.
Now where is he?
- There he is.
- No, that's not him.
There he is.
All right, Viktor.
Here we go.
What's so complicated? Exit, Viktor.
Come on. In a few minutes,
you'll be somebody else's problem.
He wants to make sure
nobody's watching.
I told him nobody would be watching.
Come on. All right, here we go.
- Call the Airport Police.
- He's on his way.
Excuse me.
You got it. There we go.
He's got to get a running start,
I guess.
Just leave. Just leave.
Leave. Leave.
What are you doing?
Why is he kneeling? Is he praying?
No. He's tying his shoelace.
Come on, leave.
Get the cameras.
Where is he? Where is he?
- To the left of here.
- No. He was at the door.
- Just go a little left.
- All right. All right.
I wait.
What are you looking at?
Go back to work. Thank you.
Oh, God. Oh, shit.
- This belong you?
- Thank you.
Oh, shit.
See? Wet floor.
That you.
I'm so late.
Buenos Aires.
I can't remember the gate.
Gate 24.
- You sure?
- Yes.
Thanks.
Ladies and gentlemen...
Wait.
For you. Payless Shoes.
Second floor.
Sensible heels.
- Hi, baby.
- Come here, you.
I think he's CIA.
The CIA put him here to spy on us.
You don't know what you're talking
about. He doesn't speak English.
If he could learn to speak, this guy.
He can't speak English, how could he
have a meeting with a beautiful woman?
A flight attendant.
- So, she's CIA, too?
- No.
She look like a Russian.
KGB. She gave him heel of her shoes.
And he gave her a piece of the paper.
- Was it microfilm?
- A coupon from Payless Shoes.
Must be some kind of the code.
You been spending too much time
inhaling them cleaning products.
I'm warning you guys.
You watch yourself.
This guy is here for a reason.
And I think that reason is us.
Excuse me, buddy.
What's going on?
It's Navorski.
He's figured out the quarters.
Good afternoon. Welcome to Burger King.
May I take your order?
Keep the change.
Excuse me.
OK, go. Go.
Good boy. Thank you.
Bye-bye.
Welcome to Burger King.
May I take your...
"Crisis. Crisis in Krakozhia."
Now that heavy fighting has subsided
and both sides have dug in
for the long winter ahead,
it's clear that the future of Krakozhia
may be in doubt for some time to come.
Meanwhile, the people of Krakozhia
suffer the consequences.
"And food... in..."
... have caused food
and energy shortages.
"...in Krakozhia."
"The story of Broadway is the..."
"The cast of comedy hit Friends
which is set in New York."
Friends.
Friends.
Due to the heavy snowfall,
all flights have been cancelled...
"Wayne Newton is 61 today."
"It's a miracle."
"Korean conjoined twins
separated today in Maine."
"Chances of survival 50-50."
Next.
Let me ask you something,
Mr. Navorski.
Why do you wait here every day
when there's nothing I can do for you?
Your new visa will not arrive until
your country is recognized by the US.
You have two stamp.
One red, one green.
- So?
- I have chance to go New York, 50-50.
Yes. That's a beautiful way to look at
it, but America doesn't work that way.
As acting Field Commissioner,
I've created a new position here at JFK.
Transportation Liaison
for Passenger Assistance.
Sir, what will that person do?
Thank you.
I'll take it from here.
I'm Transportation Liaison
in charge of Passenger Assistance.
No carts, no quarters.
No quarters, no food.
It'll be days before he goes through
the doors in violation of section 2.14
Then he's somebody else's problem.
Why don't we tag him
in violation of section 2.14 now?
Then ship him to detention.
He has to break the law by leaving.
I won't lie, particularly to get rid
of somebody like him.
- Sorry, buddy.
- Honey!
Put it down. Put it down.
Put it down.
You try to take my mop.
You try to take my floor.
It's my job. Stay off my floor.
Stay away from my mop.
- Food.
- If you touch it again, I kill you.
Hey. I'm Enrique Cruz.
We need to talk.
- I want to make a deal with you.
- What deal?
I need information
on CBP Officer Torres.
You feed me information about her
and I'll feed you.
- What do you want know?
- You see her every day.
I want to know
what makes her knees weak.
What makes her blood boil
and her body tingle.
She's a wild stallion
and you'll help me break her.
I'm...
I'm her man of mystery.
- Officer Torres is wild stallion?
- Her name is Delores.
You help me to win her heart
and you'll never go hungry again.
- I do this.
- Really? Promise?
- Yes.
- OK. Thank you.
What mean, "wild stallion"?
Officer Torres.
My friend say you are stallion.
Mr. Navorski.
- A what?
- Stallion, like a horse.
Stand behind the yellow line.
- It's beautiful horse.
- Who said that?
- My friend drive the food.
- Mr. Navorski, behind the yellow line.
- I will help once it's your turn.
- I'll get light green.
- Light green form.
- I'll be back.
Mm.
She say one thing.
- Very important.
- What? What did she tell you?
Something wrong with the salmon?
Need gorchitsa.
What?
Mustard. Mustard?
- Mustard?
- Yes. Please.
Thank you.
Officer Torres, you like the films?
- Movies?
- Not so much.
- The Rockettes?
- Can't afford it.
- What do you like?
- Conventions.
Conventions. What is?
- Conventions.
- Conventions?
This is like secret place you go?
She go to these conventions
dressed as Yeoman Rand.
- Yeoman Rand.
- She's a Trekkie.
Favorite episode
is Doomsday Machine.
Now, listen, Viktor.
You can ask her something
that is very important.
- OK.
- Look...
- I wait.
- Enjoy your visit.
Next.
- Officer Torres.
- Mr. Navorski.
You have choose.
Man with money or man with love?
What is choose?
She had a boyfriend?
For how long? Two years?
What happened?
He chit.
- What?
- He chit.
Eat shit?
He chit. He chit. He chit.
- Repeat exactly what she said.
- He chit. She catch him. So...
- He cheats.
- Yes.
What we call krushkach.
We say krushkach.
One man, two womans.
So. Mm.
Crowded, you know.
OK. He cheats.
- You say "cheats".
- He chit.
- No, "cheat".
- Enrique.
You, no chit.
- No cheat.
- No chit.
No. I won't cheat.
She's a nice girl.
She won't take your chitting.
Next.
Officer Torres.
Have you been ever in the love?
Enough, Viktor. Who is it?
Who's telling you
to ask me these things?
It's a man of misery.
Misery?
- Mystery?
- No, no. Misery. Man of misery.
He's so sick. He's so in love.
But what did she say?
She did say, "Next! Next!"
And now she say,
"Please. Please come."
That's... Wait.
- I coming now.
- No, wait. Viktor.
Viktor, just tell me more.
I coming. I coming.
Please, please.
Beeper went off.
Started beeping. So, I grab. I come.
We have an idea.
Would you like something to eat?
No. No food. I stuffed.
OK. All right.
Thank you.
So, Mr. Navorski,
I have some very good news for you.
What?
I've figured out a way
to get you out of this airport.
How?
Well, we have laws here
that protect aliens
who have a credible fear
of returning to their own country.
If we can establish this fear with you,
then the CBP will be forced
to begin Expedited Removal Procedures,
to bring you to an immigration judge
and let you plead your case for asylum.
- Asylum?
- Mm-hm, asylum.
Unfortunately, the courts
are so backed up with asylum cases
that the soonest you'd get before
a judge would be six months from now.
Yes, and we would have no choice
but to let you go for those six months.
It's the law. You'd be released.
You would be free to wait
in New York until your court date.
But, believe it or not, most people
never show up before the judge.
- So I go New York City?
- Uh-huh.
You can go to New York City tonight.
But, you only get to go
if we can establish a credible fear.
- Fear?
- Mm-hm, fear.
- Fear.
- Fear.
From what?
That's the best part.
It doesn't matter what you're afraid of.
It's all the same to Uncle Sam.
So I'm going to ask you one question,
if you give me the correct answer, I can
get you out of this airport tonight.
So, I answer one question.
Go to New York City. Tonight.
- Tonight.
- Tonight.
- Tonight.
- Tonight.
- OK.
- OK.
All right.
Do you, at this time, have any fear
of returning to your own country?
No.
OK. Let me try it again.
- Your country's at war.
- Yes. War.
There are men in the streets
with guns. Political persecution.
- Yes. It's terrible.
- Yeah, it's horrible.
And God only knows
what could happen.
Innocent people
are torn from their beds.
On Tuesdays. I hate Tuesdays.
So you're afraid.
- From what?
- Krakozhia.
You're afraid of Krakozhia.
Krakozhia?
No, I am not afraid from Krakozhia.
I'm a little afraid of this room.
I'm talking about bombs.
I'm talking about human dignity.
Human rights.
Viktor, please don't be afraid
to tell me you're afraid of Krakozhia.
Is home.
I am not afraid from my home.
So? I go to New York City now?
- No.
- No?
OK.
- I'm afraid from ghosts.
- Thanks very much.
- I'm afraid from Dracula.
- Thanks a lot.
I'm afraid from Wolfmens,
afraid from sharks.
Thanks a lot.
Damn.
- Why you do this?
- Nobody read the sign in America.
This is the only fun I have.
A barbecue?
That's why I'm not going to see you?
Let me get this straight.
I change my schedule to meet you.
I take four back-to-back flights,
fly 27 hours straight
literally around the world,
and now you tell me you're going
to spend July 4th with your wife?
The woman hates fireworks.
Don't lie to me, OK?
I know for a fact
you took her to Rome last weekend.
Because you flew United, Max.
South African Airlines
passenger Sharif Al-Calala,
please come to the main ticket counter.
You make a habit out of listening
to other people's conversations?
No, I try to call home.
So then...
- You know why men are such assholes?
- No.
Because they're all liars.
Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Wet floor.
Please. Don't be hurt.
How can I not be? He's married.
One man. Two womens. Crowded.
You want to know
what the worst part is?
I never asked him to leave his wife.
I encouraged him to get counseling.
What kind of sick person am I?
I'm rooting for the home team.
I just wish the sex
wasn't so amazing.
- So amazing.
- Bye-bye.
You know...
sometimes in the mornings,
I just stare at him over room service.
Watch him do the crossword puzzle.
I start to think that maybe...
maybe this could happen.
That we belong together.
This... man... has you.
Why he need... puzzle?
This is my problem.
I always see men
the way I want to see them.
Do I know you from someplace?
Sensible heels.
Payless Shoes. Second floor.
Oh...
You headed for home?
Er... No, no. I am...
I am delayed a long time.
I hate it when they delay flights.
What do you do?
I go from one building
to another building.
I have beeper.
Oh, contractors.
You guys travel as much as we do.
Sorry about that.
Thank you very much.
What's "BH"?
In English...
Viktor Navorski.
- In English, Amelia Warren.
- Amelia Warren?
- Nice to meet you.
- You, too.
Nice to see you again.
You like Italian food?
I know, it's late
and you've probably got other plans,
but if you'd like to grab some dinner,
we can run right out and catch a cab.
I know a place
that has the greatest cannelloni.
Erm...
No, I... I can't.
- You married?
- No.
- Girlfriend?
- No.
I... I can't go out... with you.
God. I am so... I'm so sorry.
I am so sorry.
I must come off
like a complete nut job or something.
- No.
- I didn't want to eat alone.
Wet floor. Wet floor.
- I...
- You don't have to explain.
No, I... Please, I...
Wheelchair to gate A-five.
Nadia.
In New York restaurant,
what cost is cantaloni?
I don't know. Maybe 15 bucks.
- Dollars?
- 20.
Two people, 40.
Two people, 40 dollars.
Two people, 40 dollars.
I... I... help you?
I'm so sorry, sir.
The position has already been filled.
- Do you live nearby?
- Yes. Gate 67.
Because we are very particular
about punctual... Did you say Gate 67?
Gate 67.
You got to be kidding.
You got to help me help you.
I don't see a Social Security number...
...mailing address,
even a phone number.
Telephone? You need? I get.
I get. I get phone.
I get... I get phone.
All right.
When's the best time to reach you?
Now?
- Hello?
- Hi, Mr. Navorski.
Yes, this is Viktor Navorski.
Who calls?
It's Cliff from the Discovery Store.
Cliff. Hello.
- How's it going?
- Good.
- Is this a good time?
- Yes, I wait for your call all day.
Well, I got to tell you
that the position's been filled.
Yeah, so could you please
go sit someplace else?
- I go to bathroom now.
- That'd be good.
- All right.
- Thank you.
OK.
Who is this?
- Who are you?
- It's no one.
There's no one here for
two weeks. This isn't one of my guys.
Look at this cornicing.
This is good work.
Must be Harry's crew.
You with Harry's crew?
Does Harry think
he's running this job?
- I go now.
- Go? Go where?
- Gate 67.
- 67?
We're ten months away from 67.
He's got to be Harry's.
If he's not mine and he's not yours...
Harry's trying to make me look bad.
I've got to slow him down
before he gets to 67.
- What's your name?
- Viktor Navorski.
Pull him off Harry's crew,
put him on mine.
You start 6.30 Monday morning.
You give me job?
We have lobster ravioli from Alitalia.
We have caviar from Russian Aeroflot.
OK. Just bring it.
- Hey, Viktor.
- Hello, all.
Look. The man without a country.
Come on in. Welcome.
- I see this.
- You did well.
Have a seat.
- Here?
- Here.
Come on, sit down.
- Who invited him?
- I did. We needed a fourth, right?
- I'm not going to play with him.
- Gupta, relax, would you?
- He isn't a spy.
- How do you know?
He could be recording
everything we say. A wire in his shirt.
A microphone up in his ass.
- I'm not going to lose my job.
- Fine.
- What if we x-rayed him?
- Yes.
Close your eyes.
- OK. So you are clean.
- Good. Let's play cards.
I will have money.
But... Friday.
Don't worry about it. We play for
unclaimed items from the Lost and Found.
You'll be amazed
at what people leave at airports. Come.
I have two nines and two nines.
Four nines. Thank you.
- Careful.
- Watch out.
- We have a question for you.
- Yeah, we're just curious.
What is in the can?
- This?
- We saw the x-ray.
We know there's no nuts in there.
What is in there?
This is jazz.
- Jazz?
- Jazz, yes.
- Jazz?
- Yes.
You sure it's jazz in there?
It might be the blues.
- Or salsa.
- Maybe it's Stevie Wonder.
- No, no, is jazz.
- OK, guys. OK.
For tonight's grand prize, we have...
Show them, Gupta.
I found this upstairs.
Virgin Air, first class lounge.
There you go.
And... they belong to?
Cher.
Cher?
As in... Cher?
Yeah. Cher.
I checked it out.
There were witnesses.
Those are Cher's panties.
- Ready?
- Hurry up.
So, will we share the panties?
- No, no, no.
- Not if I win.
- Come on.
- Wait a second.
United Airlines
flight number 801 to Narita
is now announcing final boarding.
"You can't.
That is mine."
"You can get so confused."
Viktor?
Well, hi.
Please.
- How are you?
- Good.
Man.
I am so sorry about what happened
last time, asking you out like that.
I'm so used to guys
trying to grab my ass at 30,000 feet
that when I meet somebody that doesn't,
I don't know how to react.
- Let's just start over.
- Yes, OK.
- Are you coming or going?
- I don't know. Both.
Tell me about it.
Napoleon?
Yeah. I read a lot of history books.
They're long and cheap.
Like 1200 pages for $9.99.
You can't beat that.
- But Napoleon?
- Yeah. He's one of my favorites.
- You know what saved Napoleon's life?
- No.
- His ego.
- Ego?
Yes.
After he loses the Battle of Waterloo,
Napoleon isolates himself
on the tiny island of Saint Helena.
No one knows exactly
what happens next,
but the version I like goes like this:
He's very depressed
and decides to take his own life.
But Napoleon believes himself
to be of such superhuman strength
that he takes six times the amount
of poison needed to do the job.
His stomach is so full up with poison
that his body rejects it,
and he doesn't die.
See? Ego. Saved his life.
Maybe he need glasses.
- Glasses?
- Yes. To read words on bottle.
Poison.
It's funny you should say that.
Rumor has it
that Napoleon was farsighted.
- There you go.
- There you go.
- There you go.
- And there you go.
I think we're rewriting history
right here.
Why don't we talk about it over lunch?
Oh, my God, I can't believe it.
I just asked you out again.
I just did it again.
I'm so...
Just stay away from me, Viktor, OK?
I'm sick. I don't have the ability
to be alone for five seconds.
OK.
- OK, what?
- OK.
Lunch... with you.
- You'll have lunch with me?
- Yes.
You're not running for a flight or?
I wait.
- It's me.
- You. Yes.
I'm sorry.
I just got paged.
You work?
- No.
- Ah.
Three of you. Crowded.
Stay away from me, Viktor.
I'm... I have a serious problem.
I'm as bad as Napoleon.
I just keep ingesting these poisonous
men until I make myself sick.
- You're not sick, Amelia. No.
- No?
No. You're a little... farsighted.
- I have to go.
- I have to stay.
- Story of my life.
- Me, too.
Your CBP inspection's in three days.
The FBI and Homeland Security
will tour the airport,
spend two hours observing these offices
before your interview process begins.
How much does Navorski make?
Sir?
How much does he make?
How much are they paying him?
They're paying him cash under the table.
I know that. How much?
$19 an hour.
Unbelievable.
Do you know that's more than I make?
That's New York City construction.
One of my own men
came up to me the other day.
Asked me
if I wanted to join the big pool.
Look at him.
Place a bet on when Navorski's
going to leave this airport.
Have you heard about this?
I have January 3rd.
Bring him in.
Jake, he has no nationality.
OK? No country.
He's a national security risk, according
to my interpretation of Section 2.12.
I want you to put him in a detention
centre and run a clearance on him.
That's all I want.
What about a federal prison?
What about another airport?
Hello? Hello?
We're detaining so many people,
there's no room anywhere.
- Did you try the FBI?
- I tried everybody. Nobody'll take him.
You want me to bring him back
to the terminal?
No. From now on, Navorski lives here.
The people who are coming here today
will be observing me, inspecting me.
But most of all they will be looking
at the way that this airport is run.
So let's show them why this is the
number-one airport in the United States.
We process about 600 planes a day,
with a processing time
of 37 minutes per plane,
about 60 seconds per passenger...
...to be brought into the country.
We keep it as clean as possible.
- What do you import?
- Computer software.
That's a lot of walnuts.
Yeah.
My mother-in-law loves these things.
Every time I go to Brazil,
I bring her back a bag.
- Your mother-in-law?
- Yeah.
Mind if I try one?
How did you know
those weren't for his mother-in-law?
If he's married,
where's his ring?
And if he's divorced,
who still talks to their mother-in-law?
I'm sorry, but really.
No offence to mother-in-laws, but...
- Sir.
- Yeah.
Sir, we have a situation upstairs.
- It'll have to wait.
- No. This won't wait.
When the 9.12 from Toronto landed, they
found four prescriptions without an MPL.
They tried to take the pills away
and he went nuts.
There he is.
We think they're for his father.
Sir, sir, calm down.
Put your weapons down.
Everybody keep your weapons...
All right. We're here to help you.
We're here to help you, sir.
All right. Give me the knife.
- Where's he from?
- Russia.
The only interpreter
we got is in Newark.
- We have to get someone to talk to him.
- I have an idea, sir.
Viktor.
Viktor.
Oh...
I need your help.
His name is Milodragovich.
He lives near you.
He may not speak your dialect,
but I need you to translate
and help me out.
- I help you? Why?
- I don't want anybody to get hurt.
This guy's very upset.
Just calm him down
and I'll let you back in the terminal.
No. New York.
No red stamp. Green. I green.
- New York.
- OK, yes.
- You say yes?
- Yes.
- OK. OK, OK, OK.
- Stay out!
We have somebody here to talk to you.
Somebody to talk to you. Go ahead.
Stay out!
So?
OK, tell him in order to export
medicines from this country,
he needs to have the proper form,
a Medicinal Purchase License.
OK? You understand me, Viktor?
He say he bring
the medicine for his father.
This why he go to Canada.
Medicine for father.
It doesn't matter.
His plane landed in the US.
He needs to have the right form.
He did not know
he need this document.
No one say to him
he need document form.
I'm saying it to him.
He needs to have the form signed by
the hospital who is treating his father.
These medicines
have to stay in the United States.
They have to stay here.
He... He's begging you.
I know. I can see that he's begging.
I'm sorry, sir.
You'll have to take a flight in the
morning. The medicine stays here.
I'm sorry.
Send him down!
Thank you, Viktor.
Good job. Let's go.
Whoa.
Goat.
- What?
- Goat. It medicine is for goat.
- Goat?
- Yes. Medicine is for goat. Goat.
- He said that?
- Yes.
He say...
We not understand.
I not understand "goat".
Why? What are you saying?
You misunderstood him?
- It's not for his dying father?
- No. No.
The... Krakozhia...
The name for "father"...
sound like "goat".
I make mistake.
Why are you doing this, Viktor?
Medicine is for... goat.
- No, it's not.
- Yes.
- No.
- Yes.
You read the blue immigration form.
- Blue?
- Yes. Blue.
- Blue?
- Blue. The blue form.
The one that says if it's an animal,
he doesn't need the license.
Then he can bring the drugs in.
That's good, Viktor. That's very good.
Why are you doing this? Huh?
You don't know him.
You don't know the rules.
Look at me.
I was going to help you.
Now I want you to ask him...
No, not you.
I want you to ask him.
I want to hear him say it.
I want to hear him say
who the medicine is for.
Please. Who the medicine is for.
Answer him, Mr. Milodragovich.
Who are the pills for?
OK. The pills stay. He goes. That's it.
Goat.
Please. For goat.
Medicine for goat.
Medicine for goat.
Medicine for goat.
Give him the pills.
Medicine for goat.
Medicine...
Come on now, it's all over.
He love that goat.
Do you think I need an excuse
to put you back in that cell
to keep you there for five years?
You go to war with me, and you go to war
with the United States.
Then you'll know why Krakozhians
wait in line for cheap toilet paper
while Uncle Sam wipes his ass
with Charmin two-ply.
There was a 20 man.
Immigration gun was drawn.
The Dixon was ready to fire.
To kill the little man with the pills.
But then someone walks into the room
and stand in front of this little man.
"Put the guns away," the man say.
"Nobody will die today."
Who?
- Who was it that saved him?
- Yeah, tell us. Who was it?
Who was this man?
Navorski. Viktor "The Goat" Navorski.
- It doesn't look good, Frank.
- I was just following the rules.
Sometimes you have to ignore the rules
and concentrate on the people.
The people, I know.
The people, compassion.
That's the foundation of this country.
You could learn
something from Navorski.
Cheer up. It's not over yet.
- Is that for me?
- Yes. Yes.
Is Virgin Isle swordfish.
For you.
For you.
For wall.
Fish for wall.
Why do you want to go to New York?
And what's in the can of peanuts?
Promise.
- A promise in the can?
- Yes. A promise.
Let me make you a promise, Viktor.
And this is a promise
that comes from a man who is stuck here.
A man who may be stuck here
for the next ten years.
From now on, you and I are partners.
If I stay, you stay.
You will not set one foot
in New York City.
Not a single toe
in the United States of America.
Do you understand
what I am saying to you?
Yes.
You don't like fish.
Do you ever feel
like you're just living in an airport?
We don't have to do this, Viktor.
I can ship you out in a crate.
I can mail you
anywhere in the US.
What about my food cart?
He can hide inside and we'll drive out.
- No. I can't do this.
- You said you wanted us to help you.
- I do.
- What's her name?
Amelia Warren.
I thought we were looking
for a way out, not a way in.
Be careful. Those flight attendants
ain't like regular women.
Flying back and forth between time zones
messes with their biological clock.
- They're always ready for sex.
- OK, I found something.
I am leaving.
They will come for us.
Gupta, will you relax?
Just watch the door.
You go in jail. Not me.
For... You know what? Forget it.
- Keep looking.
- Warren, right?
- Yes. Yes.
- Warren.
Amelia Jane Warren?
- Jane?
- Yeah.
Way to go, Viktor. First class.
- When she come back?
- Three weeks.
Amelia,
would you like to get eat to bite?
Bite to eat? Cantaloni?
Bite to eat?
Bite to eat?
Bite to eat?
Eat to bite? Eat to bite.
Bite to eat.
Bite to eat.
Bite to eat.
Bite to eat. Bite to eat.
Bite to eat. Bite to eat. Bite to eat.
Bite to eat. Bite to eat.
Bite to eat. Bite to eat.
Bite to eat. Bite to eat. Bite to eat...
Gupta, you been ever married?
- What did you say?
- You been ever married?
I had a wife and two kids in India.
I left them there 23 years ago.
Why?
I had a small tobacco shop in Madras.
Made just enough money to survive.
One day this policeman comes in
and tells me I owe him some tax.
I said OK.
This is common. So I pay him.
The next day, the same policeman
come and keep coming and keep coming.
And I am paying and I'm paying him
and I'm paying him and I'm paying him.
And finally, on the fifth day, I take
a knife and I stab him in his chest.
- You killed policeman?
- No. I just missed his heart.
When they tried to arrest me,
I run away.
So you never go home?
If I go home,
I go in the jail for seven years.
What if United States catch you?
They deport you.
As long as I keep
my floor clean, keep my head down,
they have no reason to deport me.
They have no reason
to notice a man like me.
United Airlines Flight 2703
from Rome is now arriving at Gate C43.
- Hey, wait.
- Sorry. I'm sorry.
No, no, no. It's wet.
- Hey.
- Watch where you're going.
Watch out!
- Amelia.
- Viktor.
- Hello.
- Sorry. I'm sorry.
He nearly killed me.
- You OK?
- I'm fine.
I love the suit.
Hugo Boss.
On sale, $149.99.
That's a bargain.
- Napoleon?
- Yes, yes.
And Josephine.
Do you know what Napoleon
gave Josephine on their wedding day?
Amelia?
Would you like to have eat to bite?
Food. Tonight?
- You're asking me out for dinner?
- Yes.
Yeah. Sure.
- What time?
- Dinnertime.
- Where do you want to go?
- I know place.
- Do you have an appointment?
- Navorski.
This way, please.
Thank you.
I didn't know they had a patio up here.
It's very nice.
Good night.
Please. Please. Please. Please.
Sorry. So, tonight we have
cannellonis or chicken.
- Cannelloni, please.
- Cannelloni.
- Sorry.
- Thank you.
For you, sir?
- Same.
- That's a great, great choice.
I'll be back.
Let me see. Enjoy.
Did you know the croissant
was invented in Romania?
- Tell me.
- OK.
It's 1742
and the Turks invade Bucharest,
making a surprise attack
under the cover of night.
But the town bakers...
Sorry.
So, the bakers?
- No, never mind. It's a dumb story.
- No, please.
I'm sorry, Viktor.
Nobody really cares
where the croissant was invented.
I'll bet the Romanians themselves
don't give a shit.
I care.
Is histories. Is truth.
- I'm 39 years old.
- No.
- Yeah.
- No.
- That's the truth.
- You are not.
I tell everybody I'm 33, and most of
the men I've dated think I'm 27, but no.
I'm 39.
So? I was 39 once.
I was 18 years old
when I started working for the airlines.
I've been doing this over 20 years.
And now there's no more pretending.
This is it.
It's why my address book is by city
and my pager goes off during dinner.
You can switch off pager.
I wish I could.
I've been waiting for a phone call
for seven years.
I know it's coming, Viktor.
That's why I can't break it off.
That's why I live out of hotels and have
my little suitcase packed, ready to go,
just in case
he wants to meet me for the weekend.
Yeah.
I've been waiting my whole life.
Just don't know what the hell for.
I'm so sorry.
I live here.
- What?
- I live here, in terminal.
Gate 67.
- You live at the airport?
- Yes. Day and night.
This home, like you.
They tell me to wait.
So I wait.
All frequent fliers
feel the same way you do, Viktor.
Everybody's waiting. Everybody.
- For a flight, for a meeting...
- I don't wait for flight or meeting.
Then what are you waiting for?
Is OK. I understand.
I have an idea.
- Come here.
- What you do?
You sure?
More than anything, I'm sure of this.
Ready?
So, when do you come back?
I will be here.
But what if your schedule changes?
Maybe we should
exchange phone numbers.
No. I will be here.
You know what Napoleon give
to Josephine when he win Bavaria?
Tell me.
Come on. Tell me.
I will show you. 13 days from now.
What's he doing?
I can't ask him. I'm supposed
to tell him what he's doing.
If I ask him, I look like an idiot.
I'm sorry. Sorry.
You got to do this for me.
You'll get really fat
with all the food I'm going to give you.
But, please, do this for me. It will be
the last thing I ask you to do.
He waits for you to answer at Sbarro.
- I have to work.
- He will wait.
- How was your flight?
- Good.
Thanks.
- Is something wrong?
- You'll have to come with us.
You're kidding.
I come through here twice a month.
Please follow me.
I'm supposed to be meeting somebody.
In my line of work,
there are three things that matter.
The person, the document and the story.
Find the truth of one
and you find the truth of all three.
I need your help finding the truth.
Do you know a man
named Viktor Navorski?
Yes.
Do you know why he's here
and where he's from?
No. We're just friends.
Have you noticed that he hides a can
of Dry Roasted Peanuts in his bag?
So?
What do you make of that?
I'd make peanut butter, I guess.
We know that he's planning to go
to the Ramada Inn on Lexington.
Has he told you why he's in New York?
No.
- Has he told you where he lives?
- No. We just met at the airport.
All I know is that he's a building
contractor, living out of a suitcase.
That's it.
- He's a contractor?
- Yeah.
That's what he said?
Amelia. I'm just curious.
You are the kind of woman
who can get any guy she wants.
Why Viktor Navorski?
That's something a guy like you
could never understand.
I guess you missed your flight again.
Or maybe you have a bad travel agent.
Please. Sit.
It's OK, Viktor. All men lie.
- At least you're not very good at it.
- I did not lie.
You told me you were delayed.
You never said it was for nine months.
Maybe you see the man
the way you want see the man.
So what am I seeing?
Who are you?
- I...
- Unacceptable?
Yes. Yes.
You want to hear the funny part?
I broke up with him.
I was coming here to tell you
he's out of my life.
I'm free. I got tired of waiting.
At least we have that in common.
Amelia, you know what Napoleon
give to Josephine when he win Bavaria?
No.
I show you.
Please. Please.
Sit. Please.
That was gift.
Napoleon to Josephine.
One thousand fountains.
You built this for me?
Please. Sit. Don't get wet.
Come on.
Oh...
It no work.
It should shoot,
big water up to ceiling.
Just tell me the truth.
Did you escape from an institution?
Are you a criminal?
You're living here, Viktor.
You're living at Gate 67.
I just want to know why.
Here. I show you.
My father.
Viktor, please tell me
your father isn't in that peanut can.
This is jazz.
My father, Dimitar Asenov Navorski,
see this photograph
in Hungarian newspaper 1958.
He say he look at photograph
for seven days.
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday...
Who are they?
Count Basie, Dizzy Gillespie,
Thelonious Monk, Sonny Rollins,
Art Blakey, Max Kaminsky.
After looking at photograph
for seven days, my father has idea.
He begin to write letters to club,
Lickety Split, Snookie's Sugar Bowl.
He ask the nuns to write English.
Hundreds letters.
And then he wait.
He wait month, week, year.
My father wait 40 year.
And they all sign names.
One by one.
They all write their name
and send it to my father.
All but not one.
Benny Golson.
Saxophone.
My father die before Benny Golson
write his name and send to my father.
So I make him promise.
I keep promise.
I promise I will go New York,
find Benny Golson,
have him write name to put in can.
And you've been living here
so you could do this for your father?
Maybe I think he do it for me.
You say you are waiting for something.
And I say to you,
"Yes, yes. We all wait".
What are you waiting for?
You. I wait for you.
What?
The war is over.
... the right-wing military coup
that ousted President Vagobagin...
All right, everybody.
Let's raise your glasses.
Let's have a toast to my friend,
Viktor "The Goat".
May he never lose his country again.
Krakozhia!
Amelia! You here early!
Hello. Amelia, look.
Peace, peace in the war.
The war, peace. Come.
See, the war,
the war Krakozhia is over.
Peace. The war is over.
- You know my friend in Washington.
- Yes, yes.
He has a lot of connections. Here.
It's a pass, Viktor.
A one-day travel emergency visa
with your name on it.
- Wha... Visa?
- Yes.
- From your friend?
- Yeah.
Just go to New York, find that last name
and put it in the can.
- I go New York?
- Yes.
I go New York!
Amelia, you come with.
You come with me to New York.
Your friend do this for me?
Why he do this for me?
He did it for me.
I told you to stay away from me, Viktor.
But you didn't understand.
- I think you were confused.
- No, I confused about everything.
I not confused... Not this. Not this.
I'm sorry. I'm running late.
Amelia. Why you go? Why you go?
You know what Napoleon
gave Josephine as a wedding present?
It was a gold locket.
And on the inside,
he made an inscription.
"Destiny".
Destiny.
... rejoice in the streets
as well as in their local taverns.
The Krakozhian flag waved goodbye
from high atop the parliament buildings.
It is a clear sign of the power...
- Hey, baby.
- Hi.
I missed you.
Come on.
Next.
Viktor.
Hello, Delores.
How I am today?
What do you have here?
What do you have here?
Oh, no. It's not signed.
What?
This is a one-day emergency travel visa.
To validate authenticity, it needs
to be signed by the supervising officer.
Dixon?
Yes.
Dixon.
The war in my country is over.
Yeah. I know. Congratulations.
It's strange, isn't it, Viktor?
When you wait so long for one thing?
One tiny moment.
I had that moment today, too.
You see this badge?
This badge means that I was made
CBP Field Commissioner.
It means that my authority over the
security of this airport is absolute.
Your ticket and your passport.
It's time for you to go home.
Officer Waylin, please show
Mr. Navorski into the terminal
and make sure
he does not miss his flight.
Goodbye, Viktor, and good luck.
I think I want go New York City.
Don't make this difficult, Viktor.
I no more "unacceptable".
- I told you this is over.
- I go New York.
Are you sure you want to do that?
I go New York City now.
Part of my job is to get rid of
undesirables, and there are quite a few.
Like this guy, Joe Mulroy.
I think you know him.
He's been here for 20 years, but he's
been running an after-hour poker game.
Bringing in liquor and marijuana.
Poor guy's going to lose his pension.
And I think he has kids, too.
Yep.
And then there's this guy, Enrique Cruz.
I think you also know Enrique.
Enrique has been letting people
into the food preparation area.
That's a major security breach.
The poor guy, I think he's a newlywed.
But I'm going to have to let him go.
And then there's Gupta Rajan.
He's a janitor.
But he's wanted for assaulting
a police officer back in India in 1979.
I'll have to deport him.
I will go home.
- I'm sorry. What did you say?
- I will go home.
Leave them alone. I will go.
- Today.
- Yes.
If you don't get on that plane,
they're all gone.
- Do you understand?
- Yes.
OK. Good.
Your attention please.
Immediate boarding, gate B-20, for
flight number 309 Air Canada to Ottawa.
I don't believe you.
- Viktor, you don't have to do this.
- You can fight these guys.
- We'll help you.
- Viktor, come on. I owe you so much.
- Please let me help you.
- This is your friend talking.
We're all your friends.
We're your family now.
Gupta.
Goodbye.
You try to fool us.
You make us to think you would walk out,
that you will fight with them.
Why don't you fight?
- The war is over.
- Then go. Get lost.
Get lost. Go home
and tell them you never made it.
You come this close to America,
but you don't have the courage
to go from here to here.
You are a coward.
The plane is on time.
You are a coward.
You are a coward!
You make me sick!
What's wrong with you, man?
Settle down.
Got people looking all around,
looking at me like I'm...
Look at me.
Come on, look at me.
There's something you should know.
Ladies and gentlemen,
United Airlines Flight 865
from Krakozhia has landed
and is now taxiing to the gate.
For those passengers holding tickets
for Flight 866 to Krakozhia,
we expect departure
to be on schedule.
Get back, please.
Gupta.
Gupta!
I am going home.
Get lost.
Your attention, please.
Flight 866 to Krakozhia
will be delayed until further notice.
Do you have an appointment?
Somebody tell me
what the hell is going on down there!
We're right behind you.
Viktor's leaving.
- Monica, Viktor's leaving.
- I know. He's going home.
He's going for the front door,
out to the city.
What?
Viktor. Remember us.
From the Discovery Store,
I want to give you this.
It's good luck.
A digital camera for cousin Katia.
I don't know where you're going,
but these will keep your feet warm.
- Everybody in position?
- We're here.
Secure the door.
Sorry, Viktor.
Take him, Judge.
Hold it, Viktor. Take it easy.
You see those doors?
Those are the entry doors
to New York City.
To the United States of America.
Turn around.
It's snowing in the city
and you're going to need that.
Good luck.
Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.
Oh, no. Oh, no. No, no.
I'm going to miss you.
Try not to get stuck
wherever you're going.
Arrest him! Arrest him!
Goddammit!
Taxi!
Thank you.
Where you go?
Expressway to Queensboro Bridge.
It's faster than BQE.
- Where you from?
- Krakozhia. Viktor Navorski.
I'm Goran. Albania.
- When do you come to New York?
- Thursday.
You want us to block the south exit
and have AP sweep every vehicle?
Sir?
Got two planes on the tarmac.
Barcelona on approach.
The night is young
and 1500 people are headed our way.
Everybody inside.
Everybody inside.
Come on, let's go.
Let's go.
- Are you checking in, sir?
- No, no. I don't check in.
I want to go to this place, please.
The lobby lounge
is around the corner.
They have happy hour specials
and live music. Do you like jazz?
The monitor's off.
The piano's OK. A little more
bass. More bass from the monitor.
Let's do Killer Joe.
It worked all right last night.
- Yes?
- You are Benny Golson?
Yeah. Yes, I am.
Benny Golson, I am Viktor Navorski.
I am from Krakozhia.
My father, Dimitar Asenov Navorski,
was great, great fan of your music.
A jazz fan. Fantastic.
Would you sign your name, please?
Can I do it a little later?
We have to get started now.
- Just a minute.
- I will wait.
OK.
Taxi! Taxi!
Where you want to go?
I am going home.