Mitch?
Mitch, run!
It's gonna blow up!
Run!
[Narrator] Meet
Ben Zagger Zagowski.
This frightened
man-child has become
the envy of Green Bay
super fans everywhere.
[dramatic music]
Packer fans are
Packer fans for life.
My whole life I've
been a Packers fan.
My whole life.
[Narrator] Fans of
any team in the world
have a thirst to
wear their colors
bigger, better and
louder than any other.
This hat has been
with me a long time.
Until it completely falls apart,
it's gonna be with
me at the games.
It's just really
fun, and seeing him,
like, scream at the
TV, it's hilarious.
[Narrator] Expecting
those closest to them
to join in the journey
or suffer the consequences.
I thank God I'm not
married to my ex-wife
and I'm married
to my lovely current wife
because of the Packers.
There are game days
when I don't even
want to be around her,
because of how
out-of-bounds she gets
with her passion for the team.
[woman laughs]
[Narrator] Zagger's desire
to be a fan among fans
propelled him to implement
his parking lot living room.
This proximity allowed him to be
as close to the
action as possible,
proving his commitment.
Zagger would always have
his teammates by his side.
In attendance
was his only friend, Polano,
a rare Bears fan living
behind enemy lines,
as well as Zagger's
sister, Debbie,
the smart one in the family.
But most notably was
his fianc, Amy Etzman.
Not her.
Ah, there she is.
When Zagger proposed
to her eight years ago,
he forever brought her into
his world of super fan.
[All] Go Pack, Go!
[Narrator] And she brought him
into her world of the employed,
obtaining him a job in
the shipping department
at the company where she worked.
Polano, post route.
[Polano] I got it!
[Narrator] The future
looked bright for Zagger,
but the road for
Zagger to become
this legendary symbol of fandom
was wrought with great
sacrifice, struggle,
and commitment.
[dramatic music]
Okay, can I look now?
It's really hot back here.
I know, the center
of my back is always hot.
- Yeah.
- I have hot back.
- Yeah, you do.
- Okay, keep your eyes closed.
- Okay.
- Okay.
All right.
[Amy] Oh, gosh.
Okay, look.
[Amy] Oh, my gosh.
We did it?
You're not following the
no-sexual-touching-in-the-office
policy.
Remember that weird meeting
after the
Jablonski/Karen incident?
Karen, cut it out. You're gonna
send him back to therapy.
- Holy balls, I love you.
- Holy balls, I love you.
Holy balls, I'd rather
watch you make out.
Polano, we did it.
We finally have enough
money to get married.
Aw, you two are
getting married
and Tracey and I are
getting a divorce.
The world is balanced.
My grandma sent us
a check for 350 bucks,
and that puts us over the mark.
Okay, so is it real this time
or do you want me to
react the same way I did
the past five times you told me?
It's so for real
that I'll even let you
- bang one of my bridesmaids.
- Oh.
Once your divorce is final.
Oh, thank you, Amy.
Thank you.
Oh, time.
Time, time, time.
- We gotta go. Let's go.
- Oh, I do have one question.
How is it that the only
Bears fan in Green Bay
wins tickets to a
closed Pack practice?
- Karma.
- Mm-hm.
- And phony raffle tickets.
- There you...
I get it. The voice is
because I'm Italian.
I'm only going because
you're my best friend,
and I'm gonna email everything
I see to Lovie Smith.
- Ooh!
- I love you, lover.
I love you.
Oh, babe?
What about your work?
[Ben] Go Pack, go!
Half day, bitches!
Damn it, Karen!
Two seconds.
I know if it was my team,
I'd want to go straight there.
I'm not going to a practice
without my stats binder.
Oh, while you're in there,
try and find your testicles.
Dad, make sure you don't
weld the wrong crack.
What? There's only one
crack in this...
Oh, you mean my butt crack.
[chuckles]
- Funny. Good one.
- Where's my stats binder?
Hey, uh, so are
you two excited?
Oh yeah, of course.
I mean Polano just wants
to get out of work.
No, I am talking about
you and Amy and the wedding.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're,
she's, she's pumped about it.
- Have you seen it?
- Did you agree on
the, um, color scheme?
Oh, how about the invites?
Did you get those yet?
Or better yet, a save-the-date.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Ma.
I know, okay? But where is it?
If I don't have the binder, it
will affect the whole season.
You knew where it
was the whole time.
Don't forget.
You and Amy work well together.
You'll make a great team.
Hey, I got a great idea
for your save-the-date card.
Look, even your
father's serious about it.
You could put an R
after the V, like Favre.
Then people might think that
they should savor the date,
but I like what you're thinking.
Don't savor the date.
Just save the date
like a normal person.
I can't make any promises,
Ma, but I'll definitely try.
- I gotta go, okay? I love you.
- Okay.
- Please, please.
- Yeah.
Just take this
seriously, Ben, please?
- I will.
- Okay.
- [Ben] Go Pack, go!
- Go Pack, go!
Go Pack, go.
- Guess what?
- [Debbie] What?
We set a date!
Should I
react the same way I did
the last five times or
something different?
No, something different.
Listen girl, I love
my brother like he was,
well, my brother,
but you deserve someone
who is considerate
and who has their shit together
and who showers and puts your
needs above theirs.
Hang on, I gotta take this.
Amy, I'm sorry to be
the hard-ass new boss,
it's just I need you to...
Oh, you're on the phone.
- Are you on hold?
- Yeah.
No, you know what?
I'm gonna take care of it.
It's not that big a deal.
You have every right
to be on the phone.
You have as much right as a man.
Okay.
[Debbie] To get in my Butkus.
Oh, hey.
What's so funny?
Uh, one of our clients
got denied parole.
- Oh.
- Anyway, what were
we talking about?
Um, oh yeah, what a piece
- of shit my brother is.
- He's not.
He even said he had a little
surprise for me later.
The only time my
brother surprises anyone
is when he acts like an adult,
and I have yet to be surprised.
[Zagger laughing and screaming]
You realize we're
watching practice, right?
Dude, when third
string is running
Gun Normal-Y-Flex-Tight
on first down scenarios,
they are confident.
The depth chart is solid.
I think they are big
game capable this season.
Yeah, well, the
conference championship
is running right
through Chicago,
- obviously.
- No. No, no.
I forecasted the Bears
to finish sub 500
due to lack of run support.
So, what's the
surprise for Amy tonight?
Oh, I'm gonna
put a deposit down
at that really nice Bayfront
resort for the reception.
- Nice.
- [Ben] Right?
Love the cheese curds there.
Whoop, sorry.
Whoops, my bad.
Mark Tauscher, right tackle.
The 224th pick of the seventh
round of the 2000 draft,
born June 17th, 1977 in
Auburndale, Wisconsin.
Wears a size 15 shoe, favorite
movie is Kindergarten Cop.
Can you, uh, can you sign, can
you sign, sign this for me?
75 man roster, hand-written.
Uh, yeah, sure.
Can you make it
out to Miss Hot Back?
- Miss Hot Back.
- That's my wife.
Fianc.
- I'm sure you'll figure it out.
- Yeah.
- We are figuring it out, and...
- Yeah, Bears.
Uh, does anyone ever call
you The Tausch Mahal?
- That's not funny.
- Uh, no.
Yeah, he does open mics,
stand-up, so down, uh...
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Good.
- Good.
All right, yes. So, uh, so yeah,
keep stepping in the bucket.
Pullin', pullin' and crushin',
active feet, elbows in.
Sure. Will do.
Take care.
He's huge.
I don't know what
his problem was.
I thought Tausch Mahal was gold.
[Ben] Could this
day get any better?
Are you boys lost?
Dumb? Or both?
This house for sale?
No, the house in
China directly under us,
through the Earth.
As in somebody could buy it
and live in it, right next to...
People don't give
up these houses.
I got a few questions for ya.
First, what's your
name, old-timer?
- Rick Warner.
- Okay, that was an easy one.
Second question,
what is your deal?
I'm too old for
this craziness.
I'm moving to Florida.
You boys interested
in the house or what?
Ah, hey. I'll ask the
questions here, Rick.
Final question, is it required
for all old people
to move to Florida?
[men chanting Zagger]
Huddle.
Think about it.
No more parking lot living room.
We could have an
actual living room.
It would be like the
40, the 50, The Sixty,
The Sixty Yard Line,
that's what we'll call it.
The Sixty Yard Line.
Aren't your funds a little
tied up at the moment?
No. Yes. Maybe.
But this is perfect
for Amy and I.
It's perfect for me.
I can get divorce-drunk here.
[Ben] I mean Amy
likes the Pack.
Yeah.
But she also really wants
the wedding really bad.
Yeah. Okay, ready? Break!
Ugh, I'm sorry, but I
just, I can't do it...
Hey, Rick!
What's up, fellas?
...wait to become
a home-owner.
- I'll take it.
- [Boy] Ahman, man!
You haven't said one word
about the practice today.
- Did our offense look tight?
- Oh, yeah. It was real tight.
It was like
jeans-out-of-the-dryer tight.
They ran a lot of slot plays.
Green Right, Strong Slot two.
Go left. Uh, Y Banana.
It's fun to just say
slot and Y Banana,
in the same sentence and
not make it sound dirty?
Right. Right.
Go right, go right.
- Oh, gosh.
- Right.
I'm sorry, I got
confused with the plays.
And I got you this.
Oh, my gosh!
- Wait, who?
- Tauscher.
I love him, his hair.
And while we were there,
Ahman Green rode right by,
and guess what he said?
He looked right at us, and
he's like, "What's up, fellas?"
- Go right.
- What is this little surprise?
- Close your eyes.
- I'm driving.
- Perfect, do it anyways.
- No.
[Ben] Pull in here.
Right here, this is it.
Come on, come on.
- [Amy] What's going on?
- Just don't speak.
I know just what
you're thinking.
[Amy] Don't give me
the No Doubt treatment.
What's going on?
Okay. Just wait.
- How do you have a key?
- Shh.
[Ben] No talking.
What?
[upbeat music]
Oh, you're too, oh, sorry.
First back here.
Okay, so there's this, huh?
Okay, now back inside.
So...
Right?
Oh, oh, I can speak now?
Oh, yeah.
I mean I just, I was thinking,
I love you, and...
So glad that you came
to that conclusion.
And holy balls, I
want to marry you.
- But...
- But?
Just hold on.
If we get married while
we're still in our apartment,
are we really taking our
relationship to the next level,
which is what we
both want, right?
But if we buy a house together,
that's huge.
Ben.
What did you do?
Did you buy this house?
Surprise!
This is the little surprise
that you were talking about?
No.
- Yes.
- Ben!
- [Ben] Maybe?
- What? What?
- Listen.
- What?
I have it all planned out.
This is a place for
our family, too.
We can start a family.
Right there is where our son
strong safety, Teddy Zagowski,
will take his first steps.
And then right there
is where our daughter,
first female General
Manager, Juliette Zagowski,
will learn to assess the draft.
And right out back in
the yard is where...
- Surprise!
- Oh, my gosh!
My god, dude! Come on!
- Congratulations!
- Geez!
Geez, I almost...
- What are you doing here?
- I woulda blocked it.
Ah, I just wanted to be
here for the big moment.
Plus, Tracey keeps
going by my apartment
asking about her red sweater,
which I don't have because I
burned it in a fit of rage.
Welp...
I'll leave you two
lovebirds to the new nest.
Norwegian corner.
So, what do you think?
Please tell me that you robbed
a bank or won the lottery.
Oh, we're still
gonna have a wedding.
We're gonna have a wedding.
Don't, don't worry about that.
I'll start saving
again, and, and besides,
we can use the house
for the wedding.
We could put the, the,
um, the Tabernacle,
chuppah thing on the back deck,
and the house is
a wedding venue.
- It's called an altar.
- Altar! That's it.
I guess the house
is kind of cute.
Yes!
[upbeat music]
[Polano] Don't tell
Tracey about the sweater.
[upbeat music]
[Ben] Perfect.
All right.
[Commentator]
Brown drops back,
gets going down the left
side line for eight yards.
Nick Shommer makes the
stop for Tennessee,
and the Packers are starting
to see a little light
for this offense
in the second half.
This is not where I
imagined getting drunk.
Tiny TV, scented candles.
There are birds
everywhere in this place.
Amy says it fits our age.
- And where's your chair?
- Around.
This place looks
like Pier One Imports
took a pure deuce export.
- And what does that mean?
- [Ben] She loves it.
But do you Live,
Laugh, Love it?
You know, it's words.
Oh, my God.
Dude, this is your house, too.
Where is the pride for
those green and gold wimps
you call The Pack?
Oh, you mean
the 12 time champions?
- Yeah.
- That just scored.
That kid is sick.
I don't know how you
see that in that TV.
They're...
It's fine, I can see it.
What are you,
this is pre-season.
- Hey, love.
- My dad gave us some venison.
- You bums want any or no?
- Yes.
- Yes.
- With a side
of Verbena Lemongrass
candles, please Amy, thanks.
- How'd you know that scent?
- How did you know that scent?
That is not
important right now.
What happened to the idea
of The Sixty Yard Line?
You own a house next
to Lambeau Field,
and there is no
football stuff in here.
Where is the football?
I suppose we could get a
couple of football things.
Are you serious?
You'd be cool with that?
- Sure.
- Yes, awesome.
- Navy blue and orange.
- Green and gold!
- Don't be dumb.
- Promise me less pillows.
[phone ringing]
I realize I've only been
regional manager
here for about a week,
but, uh, you've
already stood out
as a valuable asset
to this company.
- Oh.
- You're very professional.
You're well-respected.
I guess you haven't
seen my arrest record.
I don't...
A sense of humor to boot.
I think many of our employees
could learn a lot from you.
[Ben] Polano, hit me!
I'm wide!
Oh!
Gosh, what an interesting read.
It's an interesting
write, actually.
- [Amy] No.
- [Greg] Yeah.
- You wrote that?
- Yeah.
Yeah, I teach a weekend course
on women's study
at Saint Norbert's.
Oh.
It's like a hobby of yours or?
I mean, you know,
macram is a hobby.
Model trains, that's a hobby.
Vegetarianism, hobby.
But, recognizing the struggle
of your historically
oppressed gender,
that's a way of life.
I always wanted to scuba dive.
What's stopping you?
Dude, hit the hands.
[Polano] You missed my
open mic on Tuesday night.
- [Ben] Damn.
- The other two comics,
- like, laughed a few times.
- My bad, I'm sorry.
I'll make it to one
eventually, I promise.
And when are we gonna
make up The Sixty Yard...
- What's up, Amy?
- Hey, sweetie, okay.
Um, there's something that
I need to talk to you about.
Oh, gosh, please tell
me that Donald Driver
did not get hurt in practice.
No, gosh, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, Greg wants me to go with him
to represent the company
at the graphics expo.
That son of a bitch!
It's a good thing, he
sees potential in me.
- Oh, I like that guy.
- Here's the thing, though.
It's this weekend in Milwaukee.
Not this weekend.
It's the home opener
in our new house.
I know, but here's the thing.
Like, it could be really
good for my career.
Yeah, that's true.
You should go to
Milwaukee this weekend.
No, it's home opener.
We have to park the cars
and we'll be grillin'.
- Yes!
- Oh, gosh.
- Go, have fun.
- Yeah?
Yeah, we'll take
care of the house.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Say hello to Milwaukee.
- [Amy] Okay, bye!
Brew crew!
[energetic music]
- Let's have some fun.
- Uh, yeah.
[Narrator] With
Amy on the sidelines,
the boys changed the game plan.
When she said, add a
few football things,
all they heard was, blah,
blah, beer, football things.
Look what the golf
course was throwing out.
Turf grass! Yes!
[Narrator] Maybe
it was the beer,
and maybe it was the lack
of a responsible adult,
- or maybe it was the beer.
- This is nice.
[Narrator] They ushered
out a previous life
of a Pier deuce bird emporium
and pillow-riddled couches
to usher in a new life of
fandom and learned priorities,
even stumbling upon
ghosts of legends past.
Whoa! Polano! Suits!
[Narrator] Crookedly
justifying their every intent.
Noice!
[Narrator] Zagger and
Polano took it to the house,
shattering records of the past
and putting up a clearer
future, giving the world...
Now this is a house.
And I'm hammered.
[Narrator] The
Sixty Yard Line.
- Welcome to The Sixty.
- Dad's sick.
- Mom told me to give you this.
- Thank you.
Here we have the uppermost
level of The Sixty Yard Line,
the sleeping and
bunking quarters.
Moving on to
the bathroom section
of the Paul Hornung level
where we have the common tub,
along with sink with
hot and cold water.
Uh, question?
Uh, yes, Uncle Mark.
Did you get these mattresses
out of the dumpster?
No. No, we did not find
them in the dumpster.
- They were on the dumpster.
- [Mack] Nice.
- [Debbie clears throat]
- Yeah, uh, question, Debbie?
- Um, where's Amy?
- She's at the work thing.
You know that.
And she helped
you with all this?
Great question, Debbie.
All right, that's it
for the top level.
Let's go to the main level.
Come on in.
Pile in.
Try to blend in, Mark.
This is the Brett Favre level,
open concept with
three flat screens.
Uh, yes. Question, Schneebs.
Yes, uh, with three
different screens,
does that mean
there are gonna be
three different games
at the same time?
The answer is no.
What we will do is we will
have two of the flat screens
on the Green Bay game,
and one flat screen
will have stats and scores
so that somebody here
knows that their
team still sucks.
- Go Bears.
- And, as you can see,
my chair is positioned here,
aptly named Fart Starr where
you can find me every Sunday
and sometimes Thanksgiving
Thursdays and playoff Saturdays
if they do arise,
with my stats binder.
Yes, Debbie,
you have a question?
Yes, I, I was wondering
where, where's Amy?
I told you she's at work.
Moving on.
- Here we go!
- Back to the back patio
leads us directly out to the
parking lot of Lambeau Field.
I state the obvious,
because it leads
directly to the
parking lot of Lambeau!
Even I will enjoy watching
games here this season,
so hold onto your boners, folks.
We're in for a juicy ride.
I thought we took boners
out of the tour guide script.
- We did what, now?
- [Ben] We took boners out
of the tour guide script.
Sorry for saying boners.
Uh, geez.
There I go again. Once boners
roll off your tongue,
it's really hard to
stop saying boners.
All right, moving on.
Now this is the part of the tour
where you Packer scum
get a mini Lam-boner.
When Coach Lombardi was
still here, bless his soul,
he would invite people
over every Sunday night
to his basement for drinks.
I am proud to announce that
I will be bringing back
the Lombardi cocktail hour.
Stop asking where Amy is.
Oh I know where she is.
She's right here.
Oh, much, much
sooner than expected.
Hey.
Welcome home. Awesome.
Check it out.
It's The Sixty.
Yeah!
- What is all this?
- A few football things.
And, and I read that
green carpet is calming.
Like Verbena Lemongrass.
Okay. Mm-hm.
She has to probably
unpack, so...
- [all murmuring]
- [low music]
Uh, sorry. Excuse me.
Excuse me, Zagowskis,
uh, and Jablonski.
Uh, first off, thank you
everybody for bringing
a dish of au gratins to our
totally impromptu house tour.
Seriously?
It's all au gratin?
No, there's a beef dish.
No, that's just
burnt au gratin.
Um, no, we have our
first home game tomorrow
against Polano's baby Bears.
Suck, suck!
All right, we're getting better.
Take it easy.
Let's forgive Polano for
choosing the wrong team
because that's what we do.
We forgive our loved
ones when they mess up.
To The Sixty Yard Line.
[All] To The Sixty Yard Line!
I was gonna solder that.
And resurrect
it from the trash?
Hey, come on, Amy.
Hold on. Amy.
Does anybody have a spoon?
Amy. Amy.
Amy. Amy, Amy, hold on!
Wait, stop!
Look, apparently I messed up.
I'm sorry.
But you said that I could
add some football stuff.
It's not football stuff.
- It's you.
- Me, what?
You everything.
Just be honest with me.
Do you even wanna marry me?
- Of course I want to marry you.
- When?
Because we haven't
even spoken about it
once since we moved in here.
I just thought that we could
fix this place up together.
But that in there
has nothing to do
with the both of us,
and you know what I'm realizing,
is that it never will.
It's been eight years, Ben.
Eight years of me competing
with a football team
that I can never beat.
[Debbie] Oh, my gosh.
No, no Amy. No, no, no.
You shouldn't drive.
I feel, feel like I'm
having trouble breathing.
[Debbie] I know. Ice cream is
gonna help with that.
My mom, she always
asked me what I was doing,
and I [stammering]
- Am I not good enough?
- Oh, Amy, yes.
You are, you are more
than good enough.
My heart is so sore.
I'm gonna talk
about my feelings.
- Okay?
- Okay.
[shouting and crying]
She means a lot to me.
Oh, my god, dude, I'm sorry.
I can't do this.
I can't do this.
- Do you want to drink a keg?
- Yes!
[Debbie] You can stay here
as much as you want, girl.
Okay, that's not healthy.
You can stay here as
much as you want, man.
You don't have
to tell me that.
I was going to anyway.
I don't, I don't
know what that was.
- Party.
- You're my friend.
You're my friend.
You hungry, bro?
You hungry?
Right in the mouth hole.
[Amy mumbling]
Sometimes I sit in the car
by myself for like four hours.
[laughing]
He's a shipping boy.
I thought you
said a shabing boy.
[laughing]
[Polano] I just
got snot in 'em.
Oh, it makes 'em better!
[laughing]
It's just that Polano is...
- He didn't do anything wrong.
- What?
Sitting at home with Tracey
like watching rom-coms.
[Ben] Yeah, no.
Is it weird that
it's, I'm having fun,
but I'm so sad?
Let's call Tracey.
[imitates phone dialing]
It's gonna be okay.
It is.
It's gonna be okay.
- How do you know that?
- So call...
- Which end is the bottom end?
- This is the end
that you listen to, and this is
the end that you talk in.
- That's dangerous.
- I know.
I love you.
I love you, too.
- Put there and...
- Well don't, you don't
listen to a phone like this.
It's like this.
Okay go, you call, you call.
Shit. I forgot her number.
- Good night.
- [Debbie] Good night.
- Let the good times roll.
- Mm-hmm.
Who sings that song?
- The Cars!
- Yeah, that's the band.
Oh my god, it is!
No, outside!
- The cars!
- [Polano] Come on!
[crowd shouting]
[gentle harp music]
[Both] Oh, my gosh.
[rock music]
Hey, excuse me. Hi, hey, uh,
you have to pay to park here,
please.
- You're not Rick.
- No, I'm the new owner.
Well, hello,
Hottie Homeowner.
- I'm Vanessa.
- Hi, Vanessa, yeah.
This is for the money.
You have to pay to park here.
Oh, calm down.
I usually collect it for Rick.
Here you go.
- What, this is it?
- Mm-hm, $10 a car.
You're super cute.
It's $40 per car.
Ugh, we gotta go
get the other 30.
Whose car is this?
Where are these people?
Everyone's gone into Lambeau.
- Why aren't you there?
- 'Cause I got kicked out.
Already? They opened the
gates 10 minutes ago.
Polano, let's siphon the gas
out of some of these
cars and sell it.
[Polano] Dude, I'm not
going to the hospital again.
[Narrator] On game
day at Lambeau Field,
lawns become parking lots,
and strangers become family.
I've been coming to
games for 25 years.
The tailgate is
a big part of it.
It's a big party, but it's
like being with family.
Everybody's your brother,
your cousin, your whatever.
They hand you a beer, a brat,
and you start having fun.
Don't even have a
clue who they are.
Best place to
tailgate right here.
Best place on Earth.
[Narrator] Everyone
is welcomed everywhere,
including Zagger's bathroom.
It's terrible. Roger's gonna
go wherever he wants.
It got weird last
night at dinner, fast.
You got weird at
dinner last night fast.
I just was trying to
handle the situation.
Hey, if it's any consolation,
that Vanessa girl wants
to squat on your brat.
- Yuck.
- Dude, the quickest way
to get over a break-up
is with a Gong Show.
What's a Gong Show?
You know, a chick that
you bang like a gong,
and then you get her
the hell off stage.
[laughing]
A Gong Show.
- I like that.
- Right?
- I'm not banging the Gong Show.
- You should.
No, I will not be
banging anything.
How'd you get this
grass to grow in here?
It's turf grass, it's fake.
Well it doesn't
soak up pee very well.
Please tell me you're joking.
Okay, I'm joking.
Sorry about the parking money.
Why are you sorry?
It's done.
Hey, will you bang my buddy?
- Dude, no.
- What?
- Come on. He's joking.
- I will.
- I'm not joking.
- No, I'm not single.
- She just said she will.
- I'm not single.
You're going through a divorce.
[Polano] Not fully.
Amy?
Hi, Ma.
Yeah, just give me a second.
Hey, Ma.
Debbie told me
about last night.
Yeah, uh, it's
not a big deal, Ma.
No big deal?
Benjamin Donald Zagowski!
Hey, buddy, I saw that
big buck out off County 8!
How do you expect us
to come over to the house
when you have thrown your
wedding out the window
to get it! I do not support that
kind of behavior, Ben.
Okay, Ma.
The game's back on, I gotta go.
No, you hold it. Look, do you
think that I like the fact
that your father spent so
much time welding saw blades
and painting deer on
them when we first met?
Ma, look, Dad welding and
painting saws is a hobby.
- The Packers are my life.
- Make Amy your life.
Look, Ma, I don't even
know what that means.
What that means is that
it's called compromise,
- something that...
- All right.
- You're gonna need to...
- Ma, I love you, bye.
'Cause that is how your
father and I deal with the...
- [dial tone droning]
- Hello?
Ben!
You guys got lucky.
It's like Cutler forgot what
color jersey to throw to.
[Man] I gotta piss.
Bears suck.
I feel like it's
gonna be a good season.
I got a good feeling
about this season.
I think that this
house is the key
to just making everything right.
Amy!
- Amy.
- No, you need to fix this.
Well, I'm trying.
I'm gonna save up the
wedding fund again.
We're gonna have a house party!
Five dollar cups, wedding fund.
[Woman] Hey, I need
to get to my car.
- I'm blocked in.
- [Ben] What? Yeah.
Just, you're gonna
have to deal with it.
- Okay, huddle.
- [Ben] Yeah.
Okay, I'm gonna get
Amy to come inside,
and you guys sit down and
talk out whatever it is
that you need to apologize
for, which is everything.
Yeah, I think that
you should stay here
and go into the party, and
that way Amy will stay, too.
Good. Break.
- Oh, come on.
- Amy!
She left.
She was my ride.
Okay, I guess I'm staying here.
- Friend of yours?
- No.
- What are you still doing here?
- Rude.
This party is lame.
We need peeps.
I bartend at Stadium View.
- Oh, of course you do.
- I knew it.
I'm gonna bring
a whole crowd over.
10 bucks a cup.
[Polano] All right, yeah.
- Let's go to Stadium View.
- Come on.
No, I'm gonna stay.
I'll stay here
in case the people come over,
then I'll be here
waiting for 'em.
And I gotta update my game log.
- Dude, come on.
- Okay.
But when Vee-Vee comes back,
we're gonna put that
ex-fianc far behind you.
Come on.
- I'm gonna go with him, them.
- Okay.
I paid for easy out!
I don't even know
what that means!
[downbeat music]
No, don't go to voicemail.
- What do you want?
- Oh, hi.
Right, um.
Um...
I, uh, I just wanted, uh,
I wanted you to know that
your clothes are missing,
and I put flyers up all
over the neighborhood,
so hopefully, somebody
will return them.
Along with a puppy.
Well, I found my clothes.
Sans puppy.
Good.
- How's the house?
- Good.
Strangers keep coming in
and using the bathroom.
Why did you ignore me?
Maybe I overreacted a little.
I just love you so much, Ben.
[Ben] Oh, my god.
Ben?
Hey, aren't you Mr. Hot Back?
And what, what is this,
turf on your floor?
Yes.
Mark Tauscher, it is.
It's like a real field.
Yes, John Kuhn.
It is.
I told you I'd
bring back people.
Not just people,
players, playa.
Well, welcome to The Sixty.
- [all cheering]
- Come on.
Uh, I gotta, I have to
call, I was talking to...
- Zagger?
- Yes.
You need to party, all right?
You have professional football
players downstairs waiting.
- Mm-hmm.
- Now get your Packer
ass downstairs.
[phone ringing]
[rock music]
- [Man] Hello.
- $10.
- [Man] There you go.
- Have fun.
Hey, how's it goin'?
[rock music]
Every championship
team since the inception
of the west coast
offense has had
less than 10% missed
assignments on the O Line,
plus seven minutes
time of possession.
- That shit's crazy.
- Oh, he's got so much
football knowledge,
it's borderline weird.
Yeah, he crunches more
numbers than a calculator.
The last three seasons,
you two have had a combined
86% successful-blocks-
to-yards-gained.
That's 12% higher
than league average.
You can pass that shit on
to the rest of the O Line.
- Okay.
- Hm-hm.
Like I said, crunching
numbers like a CNN,
like a business insider.
When you match up with
Strahan in two weeks,
he has a tell of when
he's gonna blitz.
When he comes to the line, if he
stretches his back, he's comin'.
- You being serious?
- [Ben] That's right.
All right, man,
I'll take a look.
Typical Zagger,
crunching numbers...
Dude, why are you not a scout?
I tell him that all the time!
You should feel this man's arms.
Deb, I, no.
I can't be a scout.
That's not... This is great.
You guys are great.
You're welcome here anytime.
I'll be honest, man, I love
the Lombardi Cocktail Hour.
Yeah, we will
definitely be back.
You guys wanna come to
my open mic next week?
I think we're good, man.
Karen!
That actually
happens all the time.
[rock music]
Ladies and gentlemen,
it's time for a special show
for the man of the hour.
[energetic music]
You came back.
I'm sorry I was,
my phone earlier,
but you cut off a
basketball jersey.
I'm sorry that I
got carried away.
We got hammered and we
did the whole place up.
I'm sorry, but I wanna carry
you to a priest in the...
Let's get married.
Let's do it.
Let's do it.
Let's do it.
[All] Zagger, Zagger, Zagger,
Zagger, Zagger,
Zagger, Zagger, Zagger
Zagger, Zagger, Zagger, Zagger.
- Amy?
- Zagger, Zagger, Zagger!
Amy, did ya you hear me?
Yeah, yeah.
Uh, Bill Clinton.
- [Greg] Hillary.
- Hillary.
Yeah, so, um,
I'm next in line,
and I am totally nervous.
I'm sweating like Ellen Richards
on the first day of
chemistry class at MIT.
So the book slips
right out of my hand,
goes right over Hillary's head,
and this is how great
she is, she says,
"Should I make the inscription
out to Butterfingers?"
And she did!
Well, she is pretty amazing.
Well, I mean not
as amazing as you.
[Ben] Rick! Thanks for coming
to the party last night.
I, uh, your fianc
is late again.
He's not my fianc.
Not anymore, anyway.
Interesting.
- Hey, Zippy!
- Oh, I don't...
[Greg] Can I
see ya a sec, pal?
- No, I...
- Me?
Yeah.
Hey, hey, hey, there you are.
- Where did you go?
- No.
- Hey, guy.
- Greg. This is Greg.
He's a regional manager.
He's my boss.
Your boss, actually.
Right, I knew that.
So, Zippy...
- Zagger.
- Uh-huh.
It seems that the
only part of you
doing any actual work around
here anymore is your liver.
I know, right? Whew.
And you're late always.
So...
You're terminated.
What, you mean like fired?
Is that what you mean?
I'm sorry I'm late.
Um, I always, I, I'll
get everything shipped.
I always do. I mean, sometimes
barely, but I'll get it done.
Gabrielle Bonheur Chanel,
aka Coco Chanel,
once said, in order
to be irreplaceable,
one must always be different.
You make no difference, thus
you are completely replaceable.
I'm pretty sure Gabrielle
Bernerd did not say that.
She did.
There you go. On the house.
No hard feelings.
[gentle downbeat music]
- Oh, you're serious?
- [Greg] Oh, yeah.
- [Ben] Gabriel Barnyard this!
- [Greg] Nice.
Just so you know,
I had nothing to do
with what happened back there.
What's going on? You were at
the house last night, right?
- Yeah.
- Okay, cool.
Great, 'cause it was awesome.
It was hot.
Oh. I'm glad that you
thought it was hot.
Yeah.
I thought it was hot, but for
some reason you're mad at me.
You know what?
I'm like super glad
that he fired you.
- Do you know why?
- No.
'Cause this way...
I don't ever have
to see you again.
[Narrator] The wrong
plays were getting signaled
from both sides of the ball.
Zagger had hung in the pocket
too long and was sacked.
Plus, he inadvertently
banged the gong.
For the first time
in eight years,
he'd pushed Amy away for good,
leaving him unemployed,
broke and confused.
Why am I walking?
I drove.
[Narrator] Champions are
not made in times of triumph.
They are made in
times of adversity,
and this time, Zagger was
not about to hang it up.
What once was a weekend gig,
would become a
full-time labor of love.
These captains of car-parking
continued to put in
the work on off days,
which led to success
on game days,
doing it all in the
shadow of Lambeau Field.
This is awesome.
[Narrator] Zagger was
a new man, a changed man,
and every fan knows that
change is part of the game.
Seasons change, concussion
protocols change,
relatively normal people
change, get into weird costumes,
and sometimes,
players change teams,
which may be the hardest
change of all to accept.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Yep.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
[gentle downbeat music]
[Narrator] Despite Zagger's
newfound leap into popularity,
Green Bay is still a small town.
Whether it was in
the playbook or not,
Amy and Zagger's
paths would cross
like strangers in the night.
They were on opposite sidelines,
yet acutely aware of
each other's every play.
Zagger lined up in Fart Starr
for every game,
and The Sixty became like
Graceland for Cheeseheads.
They came, including
former players.
I took about four, five steps,
got nailed by the The
Fridge, knocked out.
One of my teammates
come over and says,
"Hey Gary, you gotta get up.
It's Monday night.
Your mom is watching."
[laughing]
- [Narrator] Current players.
- Electrolyte forms
when soluble sodium
or potassium
ionizes in
a solvent such as water,
and for that, my friends,
you can thank
thermodynamics and solation.
[Narrator] And heads of state.
- Mayor Schmitt?
- Right.
Mayor Schmitt!
[Schmitt shushing]
Mayor of Green Bay.
Keep it down, man, all right?
I don't want everyone
knowing I'm here.
- Keep it low key.
- Right, right.
I understand.
Speaking of key,
you think I can get the old...
- Key to the city?
- Yeah.
No. How 'bout a pen?
- Give the guy a pen.
- Sweet.
[Narrator] Zagger became
the man of the hour.
Pen to the city!
[crowd murmuring]
- Uh, Kristen.
- What would you say has
- been the key to your success?
- Well, it's been a team effort.
Everyone's really stepping up,
and we couldn't have
done it without the team.
- Zagger, Zagger!
- Polano!
- Yeah, call.
- Is it true that
parties and parking cars
is your full-time
job now that you've
been a victim of layoffs?
Layoffs?
She's talking 'bout layoffs?
Burke.
Look, some party guests
have accused The Sixty
of having skunky beer.
Care to comment?
The cases looked fresh.
If you want to down a
glass, then down a glass,
but the beers are what
we thought they were,
and we let 'em off the hook!
All right, no more questions.
[people talking at once]
Hey, G, remember in 2003
when you ran that
98 yard touchdown?
Like I'm about to do on you! Oh!
What?
I remember it, I remember
when you did that.
It was like
immediately afterwards,
I turned to my fianc,
and I was like...
I was like that
was the longest run
from scrimmage in
Lambeau history.
Look, Zagger, I
know you're a rookie
to this popularity thing.
You have a whole bunch of people
calling themselves your friend,
but when all that fades away,
you gonna need someone
that knows you.
So do you have,
do you have an invoice
from January then?
Yeah, I spoke to
Troy, and he said that
he can change the figures here.
I think, um, you can
see here that if we do,
I mean, it will be a... What?
You got a little
something on your face.
Oh, my god.
- Is it gone?
- No, it's...
- No?
- No, it's right...
Here?
- Yeah.
- Is that okay?
Did you get it?
- It's a freckle.
- Okay.
- Oh!
- Oh.
No, you really do
have shit on your face.
Oh, my gosh. Okay.
Vee-Vee, uh,
Vanessa, cheese me.
Now, cheese nuts.
Close your eyes.
Cover your eyes.
- Okay, I'll go first.
- Yeah, okay.
What college did
Reggie White go to?
That one's easy.
[Ben imitating clock beeping]
I know this one, I know it.
It's, uh...
- Tennessee.
- Yes!
- Yeah!
- Okay, my turn.
How many yards did Tony
Canadeo run for in 1949?
What? No sane person knows
that off the top of their head.
[Ben imitating clock beeping]
God, Tony Canadeo
doesn't even know this!
The clock.
- 589?
- So wrong!
[Polano groaning]
[Polano] That was not Gouda.
[laughing]
[phone ringing]
Debra.
Amy left her leather
jacket at The Sixty.
You need to take
it to her at work.
You need to take
it to her at the office
because all of
her stuff is gone.
Benjamin, take her the jacket.
I don't have the jacket.
Quit.
Debra, I might have the jacket.
Good!
[energetic music]
- Field trip.
- Can I get a ride to work?
Feel like a ton already hit me
Hey, hey
A couple shots and
I'm already tipsy
This swerve in my cup
Swerve in my cup
This swerve in my cup
Swerve in my, my, my
Swerve in my, my, my, my, my
- [coughs]
- Zagger?
Oh, my gosh, are you okay?
Your skin tone screams I got
a disease in the Oregon Trail.
Yeah, Aimerz is right.
You look like you might
have cholera, pal.
Aimerz? You and he are doing
the Aimerz thing?
So did you bring my jacket?
Yeah, we have a fundraiser
for the women's prison tonight.
What? You two are dating?
- Well...
- Yeah.
Great. Yeah, I mean
I'm plowing some, seeing
someone, too.
Gong, Vanessa!
- What?
- Where'd she go?
There she is.
Come on.
- And there's the jacket.
- Hello.
- Give me the jacket.
- What are you doing?
We're giving her the jacket.
I'm gonna be cold.
It's gonna be cold for me.
We talked about this.
There, returned.
Okay, okay, yeah, that's it.
We gotta go.
You guys got the prison
chicks thing, so let's go.
That sounds hot.
Can we go?
Do you have
butter on your lips?
I ran out of ChapStick.
[Narrator] In the
final game of the season,
the Packers won, earning
them a trip to the...
Play-offs!
[cheering]
It's play-off time, boys!
Let's get this
pre-party started.
Kick it!
[rock music]
[muffled singing]
Did I make the right choice?
Obviously, your
team's in the play-offs.
I know what you need.
I know it.
You need to Farley
a coffee table.
Huh? Right, buddy?
Chris Farley?
Farley, you know, something
Wisco and Chi-town
can agree upon.
All right, that's what
I'm talking about.
Go get a coffee table, buddy.
Huh?
[rock music]
[man shouting]
- Do not touch my stuff.
- What are you doing?
I am protecting my valuables.
What are you doing?
- I live here.
- So do I.
- What?
- I've been here since '95,
- ever since Rick took me in.
- How have we never seen you?
I think the better question is
why have you never looked
in your garage before?
Look, I just keep quiet.
I watch the games
on my TV by myself.
I am very superstitious.
So please leave.
Um, hold it.
This is my house.
I don't know who you are,
so just put down the sword.
You pronounce the
W in sword, too?
Have a seat.
- Sit down.
- No.
Sit down, come on.
My name's Dusty Watkins.
- I'm adopted.
- Oh.
But my friends call me Trapper
on the account of
my hunting skills.
I, uh, catch small
upland game for meat.
- I'm Ben Zagowski.
- Adopted?
No, I don't think so.
- Zagger, people call me Zagger.
- I know.
You've become quite the
legend this season, congrats.
- Thanks.
- Welcome to the club.
Dusty Watkins.
I remember you.
You're that kid from De Pere
that went missing
for a little while.
You squatted in Lambeau
for the entire '95 season.
And I remained unseen till
the conference championship.
What?
We lost to Dallas that game.
Yeah, because they caught
me and they kicked me out.
That was a big mistake.
They screwed that team
over when they did that.
Oh, my god. You, man.
That's when it all,
like, fell apart for you.
Fell apart for me?
What are you talking about?
I'm living the dream. I got no
ties, I got so significant other
holding me back.
I got no responsibilities,
other than my daughter.
- She's a stick-figure.
- Yeah.
I drew it. Shut up!
I mean, I am leading my
life in the one direction
that truly matters
in this world,
following the Green Bay, whoa!
Hot squirrel.
Wanna go halfsies on this?
Yes.
I'll cut it with my sword.
- And not your ka-knife.
- What's that mean?
Ka-knife, like the, 'cause
we were doing the sword thing,
- so why not ka-knife?
- Knife.
Yep.
I'm living the dream. Living
the dream, living the dream.
I got no significant
other holding me back.
No significant other,
no significant other.
Whoa, hot squirrel.
Hot squirrel, hot squirrel.
[gentle downbeat music]
Yeah!
No!
- Hey, buddy!
- Ben!
Did you... [clears throat]
Did you find a coffee
table to Farley?
We were gonna tell you.
We were just waiting
for the right moment.
Yes.
- Which is now.
- Which is now. It's now.
Bud, she was helping
me through the divorce.
And by that, I
mean she caused it.
That is not true.
Yeah, that's a little true.
[Ben groans]
Look, I know little sisters
are off-limits to best friends...
Ben, deal with it.
Love is chemical.
You can't control it,
and we're in love.
- We're in love?
- We're in love.
- [Both] We're in love.
- [groaning]
We're gonna give you a minute.
[gentle music]
[Amy] Booyah!
Boo what?
Booyah, Stuart Scott.
Super.
Bowl?
No, not yet.
It's just the play-offs.
No, I mean, do you
want to use the bowl?
'Cause putting your hands
in the bag like that,
- it's a little unsanitary.
- No, I'm good.
You know you really have a
lot of women studies stuff.
Uh, yeah. I wouldn't really
call it stuff, you know?
It's more like
pieces of history.
Yeah, I guess I'm
into women's studies
like some people are
into ironic belt buckles
or Lego movies.
Blitz him, you idiots!
You sound a lot like my
auto mechanic, Gary DeSenzo.
Hey, you remember
how we talked about
maybe you posing today for me
so that I can finish
that Jackie O painting?
Right, that was before
we made the play-offs.
Okay, I'll tell you what.
I'm gonna go ahead and
I'm gonna get set-up,
and then you can just come in
and join me whenever you're...
- Oh!
- Done with this stuff.
Oh, my gosh.
- Okay.
- Oh, god.
All right.
Oh, oh!
[knocking at door]
[Ben] What?
Game's on.
What, are you gonna listen
to it on the radio, FDR?
Well, don't forget
to bring your horse
to the blacksmith's
to get it re-shoed.
[Narrator] This was
the first time Zagger
didn't watch the
game from Fart Starr
with his stats binder or
with any of his teammates.
[gentle downbeat music]
[dramatic music]
Like a roaring river
after a hard rain,
Zagger passionately rushed
through the neighborhoods.
He ran for 2.5 miles that day,
something he hadn't
done in over 10 seasons.
But that was the only stat
he would get to record,
for the game came
to a conclusion
upon arriving at
his destination.
[Amy] Yes, yes,
yes, yes, yes, yes!
Woo-hoo!
Oh, my gosh. Yes, yes.
[Announcer] Here
comes the blitz.
Rogers is hit, the ball is out.
Dansby's got it.
The 10, the five.
Touchdown.
The Arizona Cardinals
win in the OT.
What a heartbreaking
loss for Green Bay
as their season comes to an end.
[gentle downbeat music]
That's it. Look at that.
Oh, my god, that's amazing.
Good job. Good job.
That's it.
Keep it steady.
Yeah, so, um, when
you didn't come in,
I kinda had to improvise.
- Okay.
- [Greg] Yeah.
I guess now would be a
good time to tell you
that I applied for the director
of operations in San Fran.
There's good
scuba in San Fran.
Well I must say, as a
man, I am disappointed,
but I must respect your
decision as a woman.
I mean not as a woman.
I am not a woman.
I mean your decision as
the woman that you are.
[Narrator] Once again, Amy
found herself in free agency.
She went into the off season
picking up the pieces
of her past life
with hopes of moving on.
You okay?
I can't believe it.
It's over.
It's really over.
Tough loss, man.
If you need someone to
talk to about it, or...
[Ben] What are
you talking about?
Well, that sucked.
The game.
The Pack lost.
What are you talking about?
- You okay, lover?
- I'm not your lover, okay?
You took it upon yourself
to become a latch-key kid
and hang out here all the
time, and why I let you,
I don't know why, because
you're The Gong Show.
- The Gong Show?
- Yeah, you're The Gong Show.
We call you The Gong
Show because everybody
just wants to bang you
and then kick you out.
Well, isn't that typical?
Boys get to have as
much fun as they want,
but as soon as a girl joins
in, she's The Gong Show.
I never heard you complain.
Maybe that's because I
brought the party here.
I made this place.
- We made this place.
- I made this place.
- Me. I did.
- You're the kid with the pool.
This place is the pool, but
people don't actually like you.
And you know what else?
I don't actually
like you either.
- You made this place?
- Don't start with me,
all right? This whole time
you've been pushing me
to do all this and lead the
single life along with you,
and the whole time you were
banging my little sister.
That's fantastic.
You know, I'm tired of your
little ironic handlebar mustache
and your little oh, I'm always
on face, I'm so funny face.
Well, you know what?
You're not funny.
Even Tauscher says that
your jokes, they suck.
- Taush Mahal wouldn't say that.
- That's a terrible nickname.
Just why don't
you get out, okay?
And just take your stupid Bears
stuff and get out of here.
You live in Green Bay, dumbass.
How many championships
have the Bears won again?
- Huh?
- Take it easy, Zagger.
No, I'm not taking
it easy Zagger.
That's what, take
it easy, Zagger.
Get out. Go on, go.
Come on, get out of my house.
- Get out of my house.
- I'm not...
What, you wanna go?
You wanna go?
- Huh?
- I don't want to go.
- You wanna go?
- No.
- You wanna go?
- I don't.
- [Ben] Then let's go.
- I don't want to g...
- I don't want to go.
- You wanna go?
You toothed my nipple!
[pained groaning]
[dramatic music]
You wanted me to leave!
Let me go!
Get off me!
Zagger, stop.
Hold on, hold on.
[dramatic music]
Stop!
Don't!
Don't!
Stop!
[Narrator] When
a team is winning,
everyone shares in the glory.
It's during failure that
teammates start to assign blame.
Zagger and Polano
found themselves
in the bitter cold of defeat,
and refused to
forfeit their pride.
Clearly, neither one was
particularly good at fighting,
nor in good physical condition,
and for the first time
in their friendship,
these teammates found
themselves demanding a trade.
And for the record, I
don't bang your sister.
I passionately bang your sister.
Have fun being all
alone at your house.
I don't need you.
I don't need anybody.
All I need is The Sixty,
and The Pack,
and beer!
I'm a legend!
I don't need anybody!
Kuhn, I have to apologize.
That loss was my fault.
I didn't write down
any of your stats,
I didn't sit in Fart Starr,
I didn't even watch the game,
so it's my fault,
give me a call.
Come over, you
know, let's drink,
let's chat chemistry,
solvents, whatever.
Polano, my bad, dog.
I, uh, I'm sorry I
toothed your nipple.
That's my bad, but just call
me, come over, let's drink.
Debbie, pick up your phone.
Call me, come over, let's drink.
Gong... Vanessa.
Hey, Mr. Severson,
uh, how are you?
This is, uh, Ben Zagowski
from your senior year,
from senior AP English.
Yeah, I was...
You wanna come up...
May I please have you
come over and drink?
[gentle downbeat music]
We'll bounce back.
We always do.
Titletown, baby.
I know what you need, my friend.
I made it myself. This right
here I call Lambrew Field.
Try it.
I'm gonna bottle and distribute
this stuff right here.
You want in early?
You wanna invest?
- I'll think about it.
- Think about it, all right.
Well, think about it.
Not really my, I don't
have any money at all.
[gentle chiming]
Whoa.
What's happening?
Oh, yeah.
[Dusty laughing]
What's going on here?
[Dusty] I double
brewed this batch.
See, the best way to deal with
a loss is to ignore reality.
- Whoa.
- Yeah. I got a question.
Have you seen a cow named Mitch?
I see spider webs,
like, everywhere.
Why is your daughter
staring at me?
[Child] Where are all
your friends, Zagger?
Oh, hm, what?
I don't like this.
Oh, make it stop.
Come on, make this stop.
Hot water'll make it stop.
Make hot water.
Make it stop.
Oh, the noise will make it stop.
Is that mine?
Is that my hand?
The noise will make it stop.
This suit'll make it stop.
- This isn't me, man. This isn't...
- [Dusty] Well, you know what?
Take a couple more
sips and it'll stop.
[Ben] Oh, my stat's
will make it stop.
I was joking.
It's not gonna stop.
It prolongs it.
I'm hungry.
[cow lowing]
You must be Mitch.
Classic cow-man story.
You don't win once in a
while, you win all of the time.
You don't do things
right once in a while,
you do things
right all the time.
Winning is a habit.
Unfortunately, so is losing.
[Child] It's so nice that
daddy finally has a friend
to watch the games with us.
Forever and ever and ever.
[groaning]
Is that gas?
[gas line hissing]
Gas!
That's gas! Everybody out!
[dramatic music]
[cow lowing]
Mitch?
Mitch, run!
It's gonna blow up!
Run! Run! Go!
Go! Yes, good.
Faster!
[gas exploding]
[cow lowing]
Oh!
Trapper!
[dramatic music]
[downbeat music]
[Narrator] Left alone
with the charred stench
of reckless decisions,
Zagger couldn't help
but long for Verbena Lemongrass.
Upon evaluating
his own situation,
Zagger realized he was in
need of essential changes
to ensure success
for the future.
Amy, too, decided it was time
for a change with a new city,
a new stadium, and good scuba.
All the nights
start folding over
Soon you'll come back to me
Wear my embrace
over your shoulder
Soon you'll come back to me
Count the days left
without the other
Soon you'll come back to me
In this glimmer
of stars and glitter
Soon you'll come back to me
I carry your heart
Carry your heart
Carry your heart in me
I carry your heart
Carry your heart
Carry your heart in me
Come back
Come back
Come back to me
Come back
Come back
Come back to me
I am never truly without you
Wherever we are, we meet
[Narrator] As the
old proverb goes,
blood is thicker than
water, meaning relationships
and loyalties within a
family are the strongest.
I grew up back east, but
my father and my grandfather
grew up in Milwaukee, Wisconsin,
so before I could walk,
I was in green and gold.
I would listen to the games
with my dad on the radio,
so I'm a die-hard Packer
fan no matter what.
[Narrator] When
you're knocked down,
you can always count on
family to pick you up.
You know, for The
Packers, for me,
it reminds me a lot of what
I had with my dad and grandpa
before they passed away.
We always got to watch
games at my grandpa's house.
My dad and I would
drive down there.
It was truthfully like,
the best part for me
and why I like The
Packers so much.
[Narrator] And that is exactly
what John and Linda
Zagowski did for their son.
Ben, I need you to
get me that estimate
on the boom lift for
SPS Roofing in Appleton.
Already done.
And also, I took a look at
thermite welds versus apparatus.
We might be able to save a
little by switching over.
And also, I think a lot
of jobs might benefit
from flux core versus MIG.
I think we're looking
at about 2% savings
with about 9/10
relief on labor costs.
Makes perfect sense to me.
Okay, well, uh, we'll,
we'll look into it.
Oh, uh, honey, there's
some cheese curds
in the refrigerator for ya.
I'll grab 'em later, Ma.
Zagowski's Welding.
[doorbell ringing]
Hey, bro.
Mind if I come in?
Mind if you take
off your shoes?
You look good.
Did you get a haircut?
No. I washed it.
Oh.
I've missed you.
- Polano's missed you.
- Yeah.
You two, you're still dating?
We're engaged.
Hey, congrats.
That's awesome.
He better shape up
and treat you right
or I will take a wedge of Gouda
and hit him right in the junk.
No. We want kids.
Oh, you should come to
his show this weekend.
Yeah. Yeah, maybe.
Maybe, maybe, maybe.
I don't know, I got work.
How is it working
for the folks?
You know, I don't know.
Weird.
You know, kinda like I'm
still in high school,
except minus all the acne.
[Debbie] Oh wait,
you still got acne.
[Ben] Yeah, I know. Whatever.
Well, it looks like you
have everything under control.
Yep.
[Debbie] Don't be a stranger.
I'm really happy
for you, little sis.
I'm happy for you both.
Thank you.
You should call her.
What's the point?
She's in San Fran.
It's gone, she's gone.
I mean, it wouldn't be
so bad routing for the 49s,
now would it?
- I heard it.
- Did you?
I threw up a little bit.
Yeah, I'm holding mine down.
Don't tell anyone I said that.
[Ben] I won't.
[Debbie] Bye.
So I wish I was
a student in 1776.
You know, your
father will let you
take the new horse to school.
You're in your log cabin school
and you're sitting down
for the big final exam.
First question, what
major American event
happened this past summer?
[laughing]
End of test. That's it.
That's the test.
On to farming class, kids.
All right, that's my time.
I'm Polano.
[cheering and applauding]
[upbeat music]
- Dude, hey!
- That was hilarious!
Dude, thanks for
coming out, man.
Man, you're good!
I'm getting better, you know,
I'm just doin' what I love.
Awesome, man!
Yeah, congrats!
- Good for you!
- Thanks, thank you.
- So...
- Yeah.
Uh...
- Dude, I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Let me do the feelings stuff.
You were there for me at
the house all the time.
You were on my side and
I was like [mumbling]
and I got selfish.
- I'm sorry.
- It's cool.
How's it going, guys?
Whoop, hey, look at that.
Gay marriage just got legalized
in Wisconsin over here.
If anyone wants, they're
registered over at,
uh, Bed, Bath and Beyonce.
[laughing]
[Both] He's good.
It's good to be here.
Creepy.
What are you doing?
Ben, you're fired.
Is this because of the
incident in the bathroom?
Because if you don't
want that to happen,
then don't put those
magazines in there.
I clicked on some
stuff on that internet,
and there is a shipment
manager position
at The Packers'
office available,
and you have an
interview in 20 minutes.
No, Ma. Not another stupid
shipping position.
- I called an audible.
- We love you, Benny.
Go get 'em.
- I'll see what happens.
- [Linda] You'll be fine.
Smile.
What magazines?
[Narrator] With every
ounce of his being,
Zagger did not want to
be a shipping boy again,
but the possibility
of being inside
these hallowed
halls intrigued him.
Zagger swallowed his pride and
grappled with his self-doubt.
Hi.
I'm here for a job interview.
I must be in the wrong place.
No, I'm here for one too.
I hate interviews.
They make me nervous.
What job are you here for?
Uh, shipping buh...
Shipping manager.
That's the same
job I'm here for.
I'm just messing with you man.
I'm Chuck.
Oh, I know who you are.
Yeah.
Yeah, oh my god.
You got me.
Put a little dime spot
in my pants there.
So, are you here to...
I'm here to talk about
training some of the players.
Strength and conditioning,
killer instinct
mindset sort of thing.
I got paid a lot of
money to do what I love,
legally almost killing people,
and now I'm retired,
and I wanna be involved
with something else
I love, The Pack.
I'll do anything to be
part of this organization.
Right.
Ben Zagowski, we're
ready for you now,
and then Charles Little,
you'll be after him.
Charles Liddell.
Chuck Liddell?
- Chuck Liddell.
- Oh. Okay.
- Ben, do you want a water?
- So...
Basically you'll be
shipping packages.
I just had to make sure that
you weren't a complete moron,
but you're not, so
you got the job. Yay.
- Great, thank you.
- Can I get you some tea?
No, I'm good on
tea, thank you.
- Hey!
- Hey.
Nice! Lucky buckey badger
went over to you.
Damn straight!
Yeah, champs bowl champs.
Pop, are you a pop guy?
I mean I am, but
I'm good on pop. Thank you.
- Hey, Zagger, what's up, buddy?
- What's up, Mike?
Wow.
Is he, uh, working with us now?
Yeah.
He's the new shipping manager.
Yeah, shipping
manager's got knowledge.
Anyway, congratulations on
your all's sorry-ass badgers.
Yeah, well, you owe
me a steak dinner.
Bowl went over to
you, that's huge.
I mean, it's gonna be tough
to replace Schofield, though.
Milk?
Can I get you some milk?
I ran some numbers on him.
His snap to sack speed is
2/10 of a second quicker
than anybody else
in the conference.
- No kidding?
- Told you. Mad knowledge.
Who would you
pick in the draft?
Tight end.
Receiving core here is solid,
but it would be really
nice to have someone op
check down in the flat
or over the middle.
I would also go
with a running back.
There's a kid out of
Buffalo that's had
back to back 1,000 yard
seasons, 40 touchdowns.
Plus kids out of
Buffalo in the draft
always fly under the radar.
You can pick him up late,
you can pick him up cheap.
We were 14th in the lead
last year in rushing.
That's ridiculous.
My forecast, bare minimum,
we should be 5th or 4th.
So you pair this
kid out of Buffalo
with Brandon Jackson
in the backfield.
You have Kuhn hitting his
assignments in the A gap,
possibly running him
out into the B gap.
We would have a sick backfield.
It's just some thoughts.
Jody, you know
that assistant scout
who ends half his
sentences in just sayin'?
Ugh. Gets all handsy at
the Christmas parties?
- Curtiss.
- Curtiss, yeah.
Curtiss. Two S's.
Curtiss.
Oh, I'm gonna fire him.
Just sayin'.
I got a great candidate
to replace him.
Steak? That's it.
You're a food guy,
- not a beverage guy.
- You want a steak?
Yeah, you want a steak.
- You want a steak, right?
- Yeah?
- Sure.
- I knew it.
[laughing]
Finally.
But no, though, we
don't have any here.
We don't have steak here.
We're a football team.
Yeah, not a
commercial kitchen.
So to be clear, I'm
an assistant scout,
- not shipping manager?
- Yeah.
[Narrator] Zagger's passion
had now become his profession.
He was no longer a shipping boy,
but an assistant scout man.
If only Zagger's 10-year-old
self could see him now,
he'd probably say, hm,
I thought I'd be taller,
but that's a pretty
kick-ass job.
Way to go, future self.
Whether he knew it or not,
Zagger had prepared for
this job his entire life,
and everything was perfect.
Almost everything.
[gentle music]
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Big day.
- Yeah.
Looks great.
They're so cute together.
Yeah.
Have you tried this?
It's really good.
Yeah, I know.
I should have invested.
So assistant scout
position, that's amazing.
Yeah, yeah.
It's unreal. It is amazing.
I'm really happy for you.
You deserve it.
- All your dreams came true.
- I guess.
If the two of you
are done yapping,
we'd like to get this
rehearsal started. 'Kay?
Let's go.
[laughing]
Excuse me, everybody.
Excuse me.
Before we start, I'd just
like to take this time
to thank someone
special to me, to us.
Growing up a Bears' fan
in Green Bay wasn't easy.
Boo.
It was kinda like being
Andy Dufresne in Shawshank,
but a lot less murder.
[laughing]
But I found my Morgan Freeman.
My Red.
Someone who had my back
and who would smuggle in all
those chess pieces I wanted.
How come he's the only one
who gets this reference?
- Come on. Come on.
- Shawshank.
- [Polano] Shawshank Redemption?
- Tim Robbins.
- Best Picture, '95?
- Yeah, I get it.
- [Ben] Anybody? All right.
- All right.
Anyway.
Thank you, Zagger.
You've been a brother
my whole life,
but tomorrow you're
officially family.
- Salud.
- Salud.
[All] Salud, cheers.
Okay, listen up!
Polano, go up front.
- The two of you, hey, hey, hey.
- Yes?
Will you guys get
together already?
- Yes.
- Here?
Here, here, here, here?
Oh, hot back, hot
back, hot back.
I know, I've been
meaning to have a doctor
- take a look at that, but...
- Guys!
Quit fartin' around,
I'm getting married.
Get together, okay?
Lookin' good.
[laughing]
- So how's San Fran?
- Great. Yeah.
- I'm really gonna miss it.
- Miss it?
They offered me the VP of
Operations for North America.
And that means?
I'll be moving back.
Welcome home.
[Narrator] Super fans
have come and gone,
but as long as these titans
battle on the gridiron,
there will be fans
dedicating their lives
to these gods of sport,
blindly putting
relationships at risk.
But in the end, one
must reflect and think,
how did Zagger not
notice a fully grown cow
living in his house?
I mean, what the fuck?
[gentle upbeat music]
There's no other fan base
like The Packers' fan base.
The fans, too. The fans are
the greatest of any team.
You feel like
you're among friends
- whenever you're at the game.
- We've started a family.
I have people here today from
probably 10 different states.
I'm originally from
Southern Wisconsin.
I now live in Kentucky.
I'm from Seattle, Washington,
born and raised there.
We live in Oklahoma City area.
I am not from Green Bay.
I am from Kingston, Jamaica.
And I'm at home here.
Everyone's very nice,
accommodating, give me beer.
We heard that the Packer
fans are the best fans.
They're really nice
and accommodating.
But we'll see.
- Yeah, fans are great.
- So far.
We'll see how much
alcohol they have.
Yeah, we'll see
how long that lasts.
Once the beer kicks in.
Whoa! Where did you get such
a cannon for an arm?
Guess it runs in the family.
I think it's time
we had the talk.
Dad, I'm about to
graduate college.
It's a little late for that.
No, the other talk.
[downbeat music]
Son, you're adopted.
[Announcer] For those
difficult moments in life,
reach for a cool refreshing beer
that helps smooth over
life's rough edges.
Time out, boys.
[upbeat music]
Cold beer
Cold beer
La la la la la
la la la Lambrew
When life gets you down
Grab the best beer in town
La la la la la
la la la Lambrew
That feel-good beer
You'll be neither
there nor here
La la la la la
la la la Lambrew
[Father] Fuck.
Cold beer
Cold beer
Why did you guys wait
so long to tell me?
Oh, sounds like someone
needs another Lambrew.
Hey, make that two!
[laughs]
Cold beer
Cold beer
La la la la la la la
[Announcer] Lambrew Field,
take a break from reality.
[gentle upbeat music]