MALE NARRATOR: Taft Studios
presents "The Banana Splits."
Starring Fleegle..
...Bingo..
...Drooper..
...Snorky.
Three banana four
Four bananas make a bunch
And so do many more
Over hill and highway
the Banana Buggies go
Coming on to bring you
"The Banana Splits" show
And featuring Stevie.
Making up a mess of fun
Lots of fun for everyone
Showing all bananas
la la la la
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
Tra la la la-la la la
Tra la la la-la la la
[EERIE MUSIC]
[SIGHS]
[SCREAMING]
[PANTING]
Harley, what are you doing?
- Why did you scream?
- Because you scared me.
MAN ON TV:
Hey, Drooper. Mail's here.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
[LAUGHING]
[TURNS OFF TV]
It's the middle of the night.
Why are you awake?
I'm too excited.
I can't go to sleep.
[SIGHS]
It's not your birthday yet.
It's past midnight.
[CHUCKLES]
Okay.
It is your birthday, but we're
not celebrating it yet.
Come on. Let's go.
Let's get you back to bed.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
Mom.
Um, uh, what time is it?
It's past your curfew.
That's what time it is.
Mom, I'm-I'm 19. Why do I
have to be home by midnight?
Because I wanna know that
you're safe before I go to bed.
I worry about you, Austin.
Just,
please don't tell Mitch, okay?
I can't handle
another one of his lectures.
[CHUCKLES]
Okay.
Just promise me that you won't
mess with him tomorrow.
I just really want
your brother's birthday
to be perfect.
Yeah, so do I. Me too.
Okay.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
The flu? Really?
You sure?
Wow. Both hands. Okay.
Um, well, I..
Please tell Duncan
I hope he feels better.
Okay, bye.
Duncan has the flu.
He's not gonna be able
to come with us.
Harley's gonna be
so disappointed.
So invite one
of his other friends.
He doesn't have
any other friends.
Duncan's the only one
he plays with.
Really?
There's gotta be someone else
we can invite.
There's not too many kids
his age
that still like that show.
It's because it's stupid, Beth.
[LAUGHS]
It's his favorite show
and I bought tickets
five months ago
so like it or not
we are going to a live taping
of "The Banana Splits."
Great.
Flapping like a pancake
popping like a corn
Fleegle Bingo
Drooper and Snork
Tra la la la-la la la
Tra la la la-la la la
Oh!
- 'Hello.'
- Hi.
This is Harley's mom calling.
[SHOWER RUNNING]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
What are you doing?
Um, looking for my other sock.
Thought, thought
maybe it got mixed up
'with yours, but it didn't.'
So you weren't stealing
money from me?
No. I wasn't, Mitch.
Because you know
if you need money
you can just ask me, right?
Okay.
Can I have, uh, 20 bucks?
[LAUGHS]
No. Not a chance.
[LAUGHS]
Dick.
[BLOWING]
- Yay!
- Happy birthday, sweetheart.
Happy birthday, buddy.
Happy birthday, Harley.
[GASPS]
Oh. A tiny wand.
No, no. Uh, push the button.
[GASPS]
Your old one broke,
so I got you a new one.
I love it, Austin.
We have another surprise
for you. We...
Are going
to "The Banana Splits."
[GASPS]
Thank you so much, daddy.
- You're the best.
- Harley, we talked about this.
You're too old
to call me daddy, okay?
[GASPS] There's five tickets.
Can Duncan come?
Oh, Duncan is sick, sweetheart
but I called
another one of your friends
and they are so excited to go.
I don't wanna see
"The Banana Splits."
Oh, Zoe, come on. It was nice
enough that they invited you.
- We're not even friends.
- Well, maybe he wants to be.
Mom, he's weird.
He believes in fairies
and thinks he can talk to
animals. Please don't make me.
It's his birthday
and you're going
and that's final.
But that show's for babies.
Oh, and suddenly
you're so mature.
You have bunnies
on your undies.
[CHUCKLES]
Go upstairs and get dressed.
They're coming to get you
in ten minutes.
Welcome to Taft Studios.
Hi. Yeah, we're here
to see the, uh...
"The Banana Splits." We're
seeing "The Banana Splits."
- It's my birthday.
- He's a little excited.
Just need your ID.
You're just gonna follow
the main avenue
down to Stage 12.
Hang a right, and then a left,
and then two more rights.
Stage 1 is kind of tucked back
in the corner.
Uh, you know what?
It's all in the map.
Thanks.
I can't believe
you actually get to work here.
Is this the best job
in the world?
Do you know
"The Banana Splits?"
Beth, those wings are staying
in the car.
You know, sometimes at night
when I'm the only one here
I see the Splits riding around
in their little cars
laughin' and singin'.
- Really?
- He's playing with you, Harley.
AUSTIN:
'Harley, you excited?'
HARLEY:
'I really wanna meet Snorky.'
'Zoe, did you ever dream'
'that you'd get to meet
the Banana Splits?'
'No?'
ZOE:
'No, I did not.'
HARLEY: "The Banana Splits" is
me and Austin's favorite show.
ZOE:
'Really?'
HARLEY: 'So how long
have you been watching'
' "The Banana Splits?"'
[ZOE CHUCKLES]
'Uh..'
AUSTIN: 'I'm-I'm-I'm sure she,
she really loves the show.'
HARLEY: 'I hope Snorky
does the Snorky Shuffle.'
'It's so funny.'
AUSTIN: 'He's totally gonna do it.
He does it every time.'
ZOE:
'Sounds awesome.'
AUSTIN:
'Oh, map says Stage 1'
'is the oldest sound stage
at Taft Studios.'
HARLEY: 'This is going to
be the best birthday ever.'
'I'm never gonna forget it.'
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Who's excited to see
"The Banana Splits?"
[CROWD CHEERING]
Hi, I'm Paige.
The audience page.
Paige, the page.
Guess you could say
I was born to do this job.
God, I hope not.
Please have your tickets ready
and I'll get you checked
in lickety-splits.
- Oh!
- That's lame.
I know it's bad.
They make me say it.
PAIGE:
Cell phones, please.
'Thank you.
Thank you so much.'
Parker, seriously?
Stop chewing on your hair.
I just paid $70
for that blow up
and straighten up.
What's up, you guys?
Check it out, right?
We're here at the Taft Studios.
The home of "The Banana Splits"
since 1969.
This is hallowed ground,
my friends.
And we're gonna be going live
all day long.
- Behind the scenes.
- Oh, yeah.
Actually, there's no cell phones
allowed inside, so..
Seriously?
I just told all my followers
like all of them,
that I'll be going live.
Well, you can tell your..
...218 followers all about it
after the show.
Yeah.
I'm not giving up my phone.
- Then you can't come in.
- Thadd.
It's fine.
Thanks. Enjoy the show.
[CHUCKLING]
[CAR HONKING]
[CROWD CHEERING]
[GASPS]
[TIRES SCREECHING]
Harley!
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[CAR HONKING]
What the hell
were you thinking?
Mom, did you see that?
I waved at Snorky,
but he didn't wave back.
You have to be more careful
than that.
Mom, Snorky wouldn't hurt me.
He's my favorite.
Zoe,
which one's your favorite?
- The cat.
- There isn't a cat.
Uh, she means the..
Drooper, the lion.
Yeah. That's what I meant.
The lion.
I can't believe
he just ran out like that.
- Mitch.
- Huh?
Hey, I need that. It's work.
Harley was almost hit
by a Banana Buggy.
Jesus, that would have been
an embarrassing way to die.
- Phones, please.
- No, no, no.
I-I need that for work.
Don't worry, they'll be safe
in the production office
till after the show.
Thank you.
Hey, uh, here you go.
You can put your number
in there if you want.
I'm, I'm so sorry.
I don't know why I said that.
I thought it would sound cool,
like-like smooth.
- It didn't.
- Okay.
Just take my phone, please.
I did.. Just hate myself.
- That was painful, bro.
- Hmm. Yeah.
ZOE:
'Yeah.'
[EERIE MUSIC]
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
[RAT SQUEAKING]
How was your drive, boys?
You naughty splits.
You almost hit that little boy.
Someone's reflex subroutine
needs a little tweaking, hm?
We'll start with you, Drooper.
Hmm.
'You boys, get backstage.'
As you know..
[IMITATING WHIRRING]
[IMITATES EXPLOSION]
The show must go on.
[CHUCKLING]
Let's get you updated, eh?
We don't want
any hiccups today, do we?
[MACHINE WHIRRING]
Ah.
[COMPUTER BEEPING]
The script says giant hammer.
What I'm holding
is a regular hammer.
No..
Tell Props I'm coming to them.
[HORN HONKING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Where's Drooper?
Does anybody have a 20
on Drooper?
Damn it.
Do I have to do everything?
- Rebecca, you got a minute?
- No. I don't.
REBECCA: 'We're about to
start and I'm a Split short.'
Okay, well,
I was gonna do this gently
but since you're in a rush,
I'm canceling the show.
What?
Uh, you probably heard
about my promotion this morning?
No, I didn't.
I'm a little busy, Andy.
Oh, are you?
Well, I'm the vice president
of Programming now
and "The Banana Splits"
doesn't really
represent my vision
for the network.
Are you kidding?
We're still a huge hit.
Yeah, but it's old and stupid.
And I wanna do something cool
and edgy
so today's your last show.
But we have tapings
lined up for weeks.
Not anymore.
[EERIE MUSIC]
Somebody find Karl and tell him
to get Drooper out on stage.
Welcome to "The Banana Splits."
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
Yay!
Whoo! Hoo-hoo!
Now, I want you all
to check your tickets
'because we've got a little
extra treat for some of you.'
If you've got stars in the back,
then you're in luck.
You get to stay after the show
and meet "The Banana Splits."
And Stevie.
A-and Stevie.
Don't forget Stevie.
- Mom, hurry.
- I know, honey. I'm checking.
Yes! We got stars.
We got stars.
Oh, my God.
Thadd, Thadd!
Baby, we are gonna
meet the Splits.
- We didn't get stars.
- It's okay, honey.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
MALE ANNOUNCER: 'Taft Studios
presents "The Banana Splits."'
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
Whoo!
MALE ANNOUNCER:
'Starring Fleegle..'
'...Snorky..'
'...Bingo..'
Bingo!
'Drooper.'
'Drooper.'
MALE ANNOUNCER:
'Drooper?'
- Where the hell is it?
- It just..
[SIGHS]
Just go out there and say
Drooper got caught in
Mr. Walterscheid's fence again.
I'll make sure Karl has him
ready for the next scene.
Cue announcer.
MALE ANNOUNCER:
'And featuring Stevie.'
Is that man
dressed like a child?
That's Stevie.
Nobody really likes him.
Guys, we have to get Drooper
out of Mr. Walterscheid's fence
again!
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING AND CHEERING]
MALE ANNOUNCER: 'Our first scene
will begin in a few minutes, folks.'
'So sit tight.'
- Where are you going?
- Bathroom, Mitch.
Want a full report
when I get back?
Spoiler alert.
It's a dump.
Don't be long.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[CHUCKLES]
Alert Rebecca that
Drooper is functioning at 100%.
I'm sending him to the stage.
[HUMMING]
[DEVICE BEEPING]
MALE ANNOUNCER:
'It's Sloppy Time!'
'Give it up
for Ashley and Trevor!'
'Watch out for that slide.'
'Oh, there goes Ashley.'
That should have been you
out there.
I don't wanna get messy.
You wanna get discovered
or not?
Because if you're not
committed to this
you tell me right now.
MALE ANNOUNCER: 'And they're
coming up to the balance beam.'
'Watch out for those eyes!'
[AUDIENCE GASPING]
'Oh, and Trevor's down
for the count.'
'Only one left.
Can she find the blue key?'
I don't know
what's taking Austin so long.
[SIGHS]
I'll go find him.
No, no, no, no.
You don't have to. It's okay.
No, it's fine. I've gotta check
in the office, anyway, so..
Really?
It's Harley's birthday.
You can't forget about work
for one day?
I'm just gonna check in.
You don't even have
your cell phone.
Then I'll find one
right after I find Austin.
Okay.
MALE ANNOUNCER: 'And Ashley's
moving up the ladder.'
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
[AUDIENCE CHANTING]
Ashley! Ashley! Ashley!
FLEEGLE:
It's time to fly.
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
[DRUMROLL]
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
She took it down to Hammer Town.
For the love of God,
can somebody find Stevie?
He's in the next scene.
[KNOCKS]
PAIGE:
Stevie.
- Are you drunk?
- No.
I'm buzzed.
After this, I'll be drunk.
You want one?
Come on,
they need you on set.
Paige.
The page.
[LAUGHING]
I just got that.
Come on, have a drink with me.
One drink.
- Stevie, seriously...
- They wait for the puppets.
They can wait for me.
'You know
that page uniform is..'
...really workin' for ya.
It's working for me too.
[CHUCKLES]
Hey. Excuse me.
Dude, I'm not doing autographs
right now.
Okay, I actually wanted
to talk to her.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Tell that bitch Rebecca
I'll be there.
On cue... like always.
I'm sorry.
Hope I didn't get you
in any trouble.
Just 'cause your fits
build on a kid's show
it doesn't mean you get to act
like an epic asshole.
Absolutely.
Probably, um..
I'm not really
in show business.
- So I don't know...
- You're from the audience.
You're not supposed
to be back here.
Yeah, um, that is true.
Um, look, it's my
little brother's birthday
and he's crazy about this show
but we didn't get any stars
on our tickets.
He's like a great kid
and, and you know
meeting the Splits
would be huge.
So I need to know
if there's maybe a way
to, like, hook us up.
- Hook you up?
- Y-yeah.
I stole a $20 bill from my
stepdad's sock drawer, you know.
That's in it for you if that
makes a difference, seriously.
Just stick around after the
show. I'll take care of you.
For real? Seriously?
This is, um, this is,
this is very, very cool.
Yeah, you can return
to your seat now.
Right, yeah, um,
which way would that be? I..
[SIGHS]
Follow me.
Okay.
[INTENSE MUSIC]
Do they usually just walk around
on their own like that?
Not really.
[SIGHS]
Come on.
[ROCK MUSIC ON RADIO]
Show time, bitches.
ANDY:
'Glen, I told her it's done.'
'The show's cancelled.'
'She was pissed.
What do you think?'
Ha, and ask me if I care?
Of course, I don't.
Th-this show is gonna free up
two stages.
Not to mention, what we can do
with all that tech.
We're gonna tear
those fuzzy bastards apart
and sell 'em
to the theme park division.
"The Banana Splits" show
is done.
It's my call.
Oh, oh, and, and Glen..
...live with it.
[LAUGHING]
[GROWLS]
[EERIE MUSIC]
Hey!
[BANGING]
Are you kidding me?
What the hell is goin' on?
[RATTLES DOORKNOB]
[CREAKING]
[WHIMPERS]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[SCREAMS]
[THUD]
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
Hey, everybody, it's time
to spin the wheel of endings.
[CHEERING]
I wonder
how the show's gonna end.
It's gonna end on rock out.
They always end on rock out.
Why don't you spin it, Drooper?
Might be the last time
you ever do.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Okay, Stevie.
[AUDIENCE CHANTING] Rock out!
Rock out! Rock out! Rock out!
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
Rock out! Rock out!
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
Tra la la la-la la la
Tra la la la-la la la
One banana two banana
three banana four
Four bananas make a bunch
and so do many more
Over hill and highway
the Banana Buggies go
Come along to bring you
"The Banana Splits" show
- Making up a mess of fun
- Making up a mess of fun
- Making up a mess of fun
- Making up a mess of fun
- Lots of fun for everyone
- Lots of fun for everyone
Tra la la la-la la la
Don't worry, mom,
I found Mitch.
MITCH:
'I found him.'
Wh-where were you?
You'll see.
Tra la la la-la la la
Tra la la la-la la la
Tra la la la-la la la
Tra la la la-la la la
Tra la la la-la la la
[LAUGHTER]
Seemed on purpose.
Drooper wouldn't hurt anybody
on purpose.
No, honey, I think
it's just part of the show.
Lots of fun for everyone
Tra la la la-la la la
Tra la la la-la la la
Tra la la la-la la la
Tra la la la-la la la
MALE ANNOUNCER: 'Give it
up for the Banana Splits.'
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
MALE ANNOUNCER:
'And don't forget Stevie!'
Thank you for coming, everyone.
If you have a star
in your tickets, sit tight.
The rest of you,
Doug will show you out.
Hope you enjoyed the show.
When we get down there
I'll find a producer
and introduce you.
- Don't freeze up. You hear me?
- Yes, daddy.
You excited?
Huh? Yeah.
Yeah, of course.
Your parents follow you
on Instagram, right?
Yeah. Why?
I don't know.
It's just a random thought.
- Sorry, we couldn't stay.
- It's okay.
It was still
a great birthday present.
Where do you think
you're going?
We don't have stars
on our tickets.
Do you really think the Banana
Splits aren't gonna wanna meet
their biggest fan
on his birthday?
How did you know?
Um, sorry,
how long is this gonna take?
- Gotta get Zoe back home.
- Oh.
I don't need to get home.
Okay, great.
Then let's meet the Splits.
Follow me.
[CELL PHONE VIBRATES]
Oh, hey, I'll, uh,
I'll be right behind you.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[SPLITS WHIRRING]
Oh, look, it's my cast-mates.
I was just drinking a toast..
...to our cancellation.
This show's done
because the network thinks
you suck.
You'll never perform
in front of an audience..
...ever again.
Cheers to you.
I've hated every minute
of working with you assholes.
[CHUCKLES]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[DOOR OPENS]
[EERIE MUSIC]
You gotta be kidding me.
Karl's stupid update
didn't work.
Big surprise.
Get the hell out of here.
[DEVICE BEEPING]
Goddamn robots.
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[SCREAMING]
[GAGGING]
[COUGHS]
PAIGE: '"The Banana
Splits Adventure Hour"'
'was first conceived in 1967'
as a send-up of another popular
TV show from the era.
Anyone know which one?
Duh. "The Monkees."
You know, "The Banana Splits"
was supposed
to be called "Banana Bunch."
But there was already
another movie by that name.
PAIGE: Actually,
it was a children's book.
THADD:
Actually, I'm a pretty big fan
so I think I'd know.
Thadd, let it go.
It's an incredibly sweet thing
you did for your brother.
Hey, his dad sucks,
but I love him.
- And his mom's okay too.
- Cut me some slack.
And why I would I do that?
Because he raised you like a son
for the last 11 years.
Mom, mom, the guy's
a selfish prick. He hates me.
He barely remembered
his own son's birthday.
He doesn't even wanna be here.
He'd rather be at work.
- It's not true.
- Then where is he?
Just stay with your brother.
I'll be right back.
Are you excited?
[EERIE MUSIC]
PAIGE:
'Everyone, stay clam.'
I'm sure it's just...
"The Banana Splits."
[GASPS]
Oh, my God.
If everybody can get in a line,
I'll make sure
you all get photos
with the Splits.
- Excuse me, miss?
- Uh, one moment, sir.
Jonathan, please.
Call me Jonathan.
Jonathan, you're next.
Just wait your turn.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Uh, miss, excuse me. Miss?
Go to our website
to download the photos.
Dude, what?
I really need
to see the producer.
What's on your cheek?
Oh, I'm not sure.
Must have rubbed off
of Drooper.
I bet it's strawberry from
one of the Sloppy Time pies.
Nope, that's not strawberry.
I don't know what that is.
I really think if the producer
saw Parker, he would...
- She.
- She.
She would realize
that she had a star
standing right in front of her.
She'd probably even
give you a promotion
for making the introduction.
- I can't do that.
- But..
It's not gonna happen.
O-okay.
I understand.
Hey, guys, are you excited
to get your photos?
- Yes.
- Come on, Parker.
We'll have to find
the producer ourselves.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Hey! You can't go back there.
- This is perfect. Come on.
- What are you doing?
Let's check out
the rest of this place.
We can go live
from another set.
I don't think we should.
Babe, it will be a moment
we'll remember forever.
- I promise.
- Okay.
What about our pictures?
Um, I'm sure she'll be back.
Besides,
this is kind of awesome.
You have the Splits
all to yourself.
Come on.
Hi, I'm Harley.
This is my friend Zoe.
Say hi.
Uh, sup?
Why is Drooper all wet?
Where's Snorky?
It's my kid's birthday.
I can't get away.
There's nothin' I can do.
I'm sorry.
Hey. What are you
doin' out here?
'I've been looking
all over for you.'
Um, I told you
I had to call in to the office.
There's some, some stuff
going down.
You're making Kara work
on a Saturday?
But I didn't say Kara.
Why, why would you say Kara?
[CHUCKLES]
'Cause she's your assistant.
Who else
will be at the office?
Right. Yes, it was Kara.
Um, are we,
are we ready to go yet?
Yup. Yeah. You wanna come in
with me? We'll grab the kids.
- Sure.
- Okay.
Beth, wait, no.
Beth, please.
'Beth, don't.'
- Oh, my God.
- I can explain.
Like, how can you explain this?
[SIGHS]
Are you sleeping with her?
I can't believe this.
I swear it was just one time.
There's hundreds of these.
Sleeping with your assistant.
God, you're such a cliche.
- Beth, look...
- I knew it, man.
- I knew you were a scumbag.
- You watch your mouth!
- Austin, go back inside.
- No, no, no, no, don't.
You know what,
she stands up for you
and she defends you and she
tells me to give you a chance.
And the whole time
you've been cheatin' on her?
- I should be, I should...
- You should what?
- Okay, stop, stop, stop.
- You should what, little boy?
You know what? You're just
a 19-year-old burnout.
That's all you are.
- Your dad's lucky he didn't...
- Don't talk about my dad.
Okay, stop, stop it!
Go back inside, okay?
- What're you gonna do about it?
- This is between us.
Us?
Beth, there's never been an us.
There was always Austin
and then there was Harley.
Us.
[SCOFFS]
What a joke.
You know what?
You go inside and get the kids.
I'll be at the car, okay?
Us.
[SNIFFLES]
- Mom, mom, stop. Stop.
- No, he is a dick.
Yeah, yeah, I know, okay?
Just wanted to be
with somebody safe
so that you and Harley
would never ever get hurt.
[SIGHS]
- I'm sorry.
- No.
Don't, don't say that.
You know what? Let's just
go get the kids, okay?
Yeah, yeah.
- 'Hello.'
- Hey.
Guess whose night just freed up.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
HARLEY: I can't believe
I'm actually here.
ZOE: I cant' believe I'm
actually enjoying it.
[GASPS]
I dare you to open that.
Why? What's gonna happen?
HARLEY:
'Open it. You'll see.'
Unless you're scared.
Ha.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
- Come on.
- Don't rush me.
Was something
supposed to happen?
When Drooper does it,
letters shoot out.
Well, uh, there's nothing here.
I never got to meet Snorky.
- Let's go find him.
- Like a quest?
Sure.
Like a quest.
Let's go!
Let's go.
REBECCA: I told you,
I never should have taken this job.
Now look, six years..
...six years on a kid's show
and I get fired.
I mean,
where do I go from here?
FLEEGLE:
Time to fly!
- A-are you the producer?
- I'll call you back.
Something I can do for you?
It's more like
what I can do for you.
Parker, do the thing.
Rebecca, I'm so sorry.
JONATHAN:
'Parker, this is our shot.'
Whatcha gonna do
with all that junk
All that junk
inside your trunk...
Stop.
That is disturbing.
Incredibly dated.
She can sing something else.
What do you wanna hear?
- It doesn't matter.
- 'But she's talented, right?'
She should be in the
Sour Grapes Bunch or somethin'.
You have to put her in the show.
There is no show.
We're canceled.
- What?
- What?
Network pulled the plug.
So, take her junk
somewhere else.
- Is that true?
- Yeah.
Andy told me
right before tonight's show.
- Who's Andy?
- Head of the network.
Is he still here?
I need to see him.
Thank you for the opportunity.
So I'm out of a job.
We all are.
Just get the meet-and-greets
out of here
and we'll start wrapping out
on Monday.
[SIGHS]
[GASPS]
I can't believe it.
Thadd, this is amazing.
That's Snorky's circus
and Bingo's jungle.
Holy crap.
That's Fleegle's Magic Shop.
Oh, my gosh.
FYI, the design
is loosely modeled
of Davenport's Magic Shop
in London.
This is like my whole childhood
right here.
Babe, give me your phone.
[EERIE MUSIC]
What's up, you guys?
It's your boy Thadd.
Mr. Thadastic to all my fans.
I'm here with the one
and only Miss Poppy Glarady
and we're live on set
of "The Banana Splits."
What up, everyone?
We're alone
in Fleegle's Magic Shop.
I can't even.
Yo, check this out.
You're gonna love this.
Hey, Pop?
Thadd, no.
Babe, I love you so much.
'And I can't think
of a better place than this.'
'Will you marry me?'
Thadd, yes.
Yo, she said yes!
Oh.
[LAUGHING]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
What the hell?
Fleegle.
We just got engaged.
Hey.
FLEEGLE:
'Banana-cadabra!'
- What the hell, man?
- Thadd, relax.
I think he's just doing
a magic trick.
[CLATTERING]
[GASPS]
What are you doing?
Hey.
[GRUNTING]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
- Poppy, please!
- Thadd.
- Thadd!
- Let me out!
[SCREAMS]
[HEAVY BREATHING]
[SOBS]
Please let him out, please.
No, please!
[CRYING]
No! Let him out. Please!
Thadd. Thadd!
- What's going on?
- 'No, please.'
- Let me out.
- 'Thadd, please!'
Let me out!
No!
[CRYING]
'No!'
- Poppy.
- 'No!'
- Stop!
- Please.
- Thadd!
- Aah!
Thadd.
'No!'
'No, please.'
No!
[CRYING]
[GRUNTS]
Please don't make me. Please!
No!
[CRYING]
[SCREAMING]
[CRYING]
Ta-da!
[SCREAMS]
[CRYING]
No. No, please. No!
Get off of me! Get off!
[SOBS]
Please, no!
- No.
- 'Snorky?'
HARVEY: 'Here's the circus.
He's got to be here.'
[SOBBING]
Fleegle!
Do you know where Snorky is?
Can you take us to him?
Harley really
wants to meet Snorky.
Come on. You wanna meet Snorky.
Don't ya?
[CELL PHONE VIBRATES]
Oh, Kara, you are killing me.
[EERIE MUSIC]
[ENGINE REVVING]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[SCREAMS]
[PANTING]
[GLASS SHATTERS]
Daddy, I just wanna go home.
Not until I get you
a real audition.
We've worked too hard
to give up now. Hm?
Come on.
[SIGHS]
Are you ready to meet
your next superstar?
Hey!
I'm talking to you.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Daddy, I'm scared.
You don't have to be scared,
honey. It's just a puppet.
[SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
Where is everybody?
- They were all here.
- They're not with you?
They're probably just exploring
the rest of the sets.
- Harley! Zoe!
- Shit.
Mom, uh, we'll find them.
It's fine.
- You don't know that. Harley!
- Shit.
- 'Zoe!'
- I promise, they're okay.
Yeah, yeah, I know.
My mom just..
She sometimes gets this way.
We'll find them. Trust me.
Can't even get off the lot
at this time of night.
Somebody help me!
[INTENSE MUSIC]
Why are you doing this to me?
[SCREAMS]
[SCREAMING]
Help! There's this psycho
tryin' to run me over!
[COUGHS]
Oh, thank God.
[PANTING]
Hey.
Did you hear me?
[SCREAMING]
[CRASH]
AUSTIN: 'Mom,
Paige went to look for them.'
She knows this place
better than anybody.
I can't believe Harley
would just run off like that.
You know him.
He's in his own world.
He was probably just excited.
If something happens to him, I..
This is.. I don't, I don't know
if I can go through that again.
We are at a taping
of "The Banana Splits."
Nobody's gonna die.
You weren't like this
when dad was alive.
You were fearless.
I watched him die
and I couldn't stop it.
It wasn't your fault.
Bad things happen, you still..
You know, we still need to live.
I know that you think
I worry too much.
'And that our life is boring,
but I..'
I am just trying
to keep you guys all safe.
[DOOR OPENS]
Did you find them?
Paige brought me up to speed
on the whole situation
and I assure you
everything is under control.
[HEAVY BREATHING]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
- Oh!
- Oh, my God!
God, it's that stage dad.
Sir, can-can you hear me?
What happened?
[GASPS]
They attacked me.
- Who did?
- Banana Splits.
Paige, call 911.
Go!
There has to be an explanation.
Th-the Banana Splits
don't hurt people.
[GROANING]
We have to get the kids.
Uh, okay, just take..
Keep-keep breathing.
[EERIE MUSIC]
What is this place?
This must be where they were
built or something.
Is Snorky in here?
In there?
This is weird.
Hello? Snorky?
Get me out of here!
I brought friends.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
We're gonna have so much fun!
Harley! Zoe!
Mom, this is crazy, right?
He loves this show.
Maybe he's hiding somewhere.
He-he probably
doesn't wanna leave.
Harley!
Where are you?
Come on. Come on, hurry.
Harley! Zoe!
Harley!
[DRUMBEAT]
- What's that noise?
- Bingo.
AUSTIN:
'Mom!'
[INTENSE MUSIC]
Austin!
[PANTING]
Austin!
AUSTIN:
Mom!
Get out of here.
Run!
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Time's almost up.
For you.
[GRUNTING]
[CRASH]
Mom,
that was seriously badass.
Let's go find your brother.
Oh, my God.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
He asked me to marry him.
Mom, I think she's lost it.
I'm so sorry.
I'm looking for my son
and his friend.
Have you seen them?
- Fleegle took them.
- What?
Where-where,
where did there go?
Listen to me. Listen,
it's not safe here for you.
You have to come with us, okay?
[SOBS]
I won't leave Thadd.
BETH:
I know how you feel. Trust me.
He would not want anything bad
to happen to you.
You have to come with us
right now.
[SOBBING]
[ZOE GRUNTING]
[WHIMPERING]
[KARL GROANS]
Hey, you gotta let us
out of here.
[WHIMPERING]
- I can't.
- Of course, you can.
Just unlock the gate.
I tried to tell them
that it's wrong
but they wouldn't listen.
'Something went wrong
with my update.'
They didn't listen to me now.
This is all the network's fault.
They shouldn't have taken away
their show.
[GROANS] 'Then none of
this would have happened.'
This show is all they have.
[GROANS]
You built them, didn't you?
- Yes.
- You love them, don't you?
- Yes.
- I love them too.
They're my favorite.
They make people happy.
That's why I built them.
But now they're hurting people.
You can stop this, but you
have to let us out of here.
[GROANING]
Come on!
[INTENSE MUSIC]
Fleegle!
My precious boy.
Who-who did this to you?
Hi, kids.
Put on your hap-happiest faces
because "The Banana Splits" show
is about to begin.
[GRUNTS]
KARL:
'I can fix you. Wait.'
Where do you think
you're going?
[PARKER SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING]
Help! Ah!
You'll never stop them!
The show must go on!
Everything's going to be okay.
The, the ambulance
will be here soon.
Where the hell are they?
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
It's Sloppy Time!
Oh, no.
Stand down.
I'm ordering you to stand down.
[GASPS]
[GRUNTING]
[SCREAMS]
[GROANING]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
No.
[JONATHAN SCREAMING]
[KEYS CLACKING]
Damn it.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[GROANING]
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
[SCREAMING]
[GROANING]
What's happening?
We..
We have to run
the Sloppy Time course.
[GRUNTING]
[GROANING]
- Oh, come on.
- Give me, give me your hand.
[SCREAMS]
[GROANING]
[LAUGHING]
[LAUGHING]
[GROANS]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[SOBBING]
Don't stop now.
You're almost there.
[GRUNTING]
We're gonna make it.
[GRUNTS]
Where's the blue key?
[GRUNTS]
[GROANING]
It's time to fly!
[SCREAMS]
[PANTING]
I, I did it.
[PANTING]
I did it.
Don't hit the hammer.
[GRUNTS]
She did it!
He took it down
to Hammer Town.
[LAUGHS]
Three cheers for Rebecca!
'Hip hip hooray!'
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Which way do we go?
[DOOR OPENS]
[BANGING ON DOOR]
It's locked.
I'll take him out.
You guys run.
ZOE: What are you doing?
We can't trust him.
It's Snorky. He's different.
Tra la la la-la la la
Tra la la la-la la la
Tra la la la-la la la
Tra la la la-la la la
Are they doing
the Snorky Shuffle?
This is some messed up stuff
right here.
Please, Snorky.
Help us.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
It's okay, guys.
[EERIE MUSIC]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
Tra la la la-la la la
Tra la la la-la la la
Tra la la la-la la la
Tra la la la-la la la
Tra la la la-la la la
Tra la la la-la la la
[SCREAMING]
Hey. Hey.
Hey, shh, don't worry.
You scared the hell out of me.
Are the police coming?
No, the phones don't work
and all the cell phones
were smashed.
We have to find Fleegle.
They took Harley and Zoe.
POPPY:
We have to stop them.
There must be a way
to stop them.
Karl.
Come on.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Yo! Shit.
[GRUNTS]
- Austin. Austin! Austin!
- Don't you touch him!
Karl?
How do we stop
the Banana Splits?
[CHUCKLING]
You can't.
You built them.
There must be a way.
KARL:
The show must go on.
It's in their programming.
[LAUGHING]
They took my kids.
Your children are safe.
Mm, they're having
a wonderful time.
[CHUCKLING]
[MUFFLED MUSIC]
Is that music?
Sounds like it's coming
from down there.
Help me move this.
[MUSIC INTENSIFIES]
- What's down there?
- The show.
[CHUCKLING]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Let's go.
What is that?
I was building a sister
for my boys.
A fifth Banana Split?
Her name is Hooty.
We were gonna get married.
But then they killed him.
[SOBS]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
What are you doing?
Stop that! It's not for you.
KARL:
'Stay back!'
[GRUNTS]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
He's dead because of you.
[EERIE MUSIC]
PAIGE: 'Where's Poppy?
She was right behind me.'
AUSTIN:
'She'll catch up. Come on.'
[GASPS]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[SCREAMING]
What, uh, what is that
in his eyes?
Bing-Bingo's drumsticks.
It's Doug. The other page.
They sent him out
with the rest of the audience.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
- Oh, Jesus.
- It's only the adults.
Where are the children?
[CHILDREN SCREAMING]
Let's go.
[CHILDREN CRYING]
Ta-da!
[BANGING ON DOOR]
[CHILDREN CRYING]
Well, who could that be?
[CHILDREN SCREAMING]
Look who I found.
It's Stevie.
What the hell is this?
Isn't it wonderful, Stevie?
All of our friends are here.
Now the show can go on
'forever and ever and ever!'
They're never gonna let them go.
They'll die in here.
We have to save those kids.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Hey, Stevie. Mail's here!
[CHILDREN SCREAMING]
Shh.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[SOBBING]
Silly Stevie.
Smoking's bad for your health.
- I can't see Harley or Zoe.
- Maybe they got away.
Oh, boy, it's time for..
- The wheel of endings.
- The wheel of endings.
[SCREAMING]
I'm the vice president
of Programming.
You can't do this to me.
We have to hurry.
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
[GRUNTING]
I wonder
how the show is gonna end.
[GRUNTS]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
Guys.
HARLEY:
Take it slow.
Oh, my God.
Great job, Snorky.
Put them
with our other friends.
You can't do this.
You're the Banana Splits.
The show must go on.
Snorky, please don't do this.
[SCREAMING]
Banana split!
ANDY:
What, what's a banana split?
What's a banana split?
- What's a banana split?
- I don't know.
It always lands on rock out.
[SCREAMING]
Mom.
Everybody, close your eyes.
'Close your eyes!
Don't watch this.'
[GROANING]
[SCREAMING]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[SCREAMING]
Come on, guys.
Austin, Paige,
take the kids out.
Go.
[CLAMORING]
I'm not gonna leave you behind.
Grab Harley and Zoey and go.
Go!
AUSTIN:
Come on.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[SCREAMING]
Come on, you fuzzy son of bitch.
[CLAMORING]
[GRUNTS]
[GRUNTING]
[SCREAMS]
[GAGGING]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[GRUNTS]
FLEEGLE:
Drooper, mail's here.
- No, no, no, no, no!
- 'Hey!'
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
- Mom.
- I told you to leave.
I'm not leaving you.
BETH:
No!
[SCREAMS]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[GAGGING]
HARLEY:
Mom!
Banana-cadabra, bitch!
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
[GROANS]
[SIGHS]
This show is really not
what I expected.
[LAUGHS]
Come on, let's go.
Tra la la la..
[SHUTS DOWN]
Zoe!
- Hey, it's Harley.
- Oh, they're okay.
[INTENSE MUSIC]
Time's almost up.
[GRUNTS]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[GRUNTING]
HARLEY:
'Snorky!'
[BINGO LAUGHS]
[BINGO LAUGHS]
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
Snorky!
Harley, no!
Snorky.
[SNORKY HONKS]
You will always be my favorite.
[SNORKY HONKS]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- Mom?
- Yeah.
Can I go to acting class?
Anything you want, my darling.
- Here you go, honey.
- Thank you.
I'll be right back,
okay, guys?
Okay.
You know, you're not
as weird as I thought.
This show is weird.
I'm awesome.
Yeah. You are.
So, um, I was kind of wondering
after everything that happened
maybe, um, you could, um,
give me your number?
[GIGGLING]
MITCH:
'Beth.'
Honey.
I got, I got hit by a car.
It was awful.
But it made me realize
something.
I don't wanna be with Kara.
I want you.
I love you, Beth.
I want a divorce.
[CAR LOCK BEEPS]
[SIREN BLARING]
[MITCH GROANING]
Hey! Hey!
I'm injured!
Whoo! Hey!
[SOBBING]
I'm injured!
[PANTING]
Oh, I don't believe this!
[INTENSE MUSIC]
Tra la la la-la la la
Tra la la la-la la la
Tra la la la-la la la
[LAUGHING]
Tra la la la-la la la
Tra la la la-la la la
[BEEP]
[FLEEGLE LAUGHS]
Tra la la tra-la la la
Tra la la tra-la la la
Tra la la tra-la la la
Tra la la tra-la la la
One banana two banana
three banana four
Four bananas make a bunch
and so do many more
Over hill and highway
the Banana Buggies go
Come along to bring you
"The Banana Splits" show
Making up a mess of fun
Making up a mess of fun
Lots of fun for everyone
Lots of fun for everyone
Tra la la tra-la la la
Tra la la tra-la la la
Tra la la tra-la la la
Tra la la tra-la la la
Four banana three banana
two banana one
All the bananas playing
in the bright yellow sun
Flipping like a pancake
popping like a cork
Fleegle Bingo Drooper
and Snork
Making up a mess of fun
Making up a mess of fun
Lots of fun for everyone
Lots of fun for everyone
Tra la la tra-la la la
Tra la la tra-la la la
Tra la la tra-la la la
Tra la la tra-la la la
MALE NARRATOR:
We've killed so many people.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]