And your heart bobs around like a cork
When you're out
With the belle of Mew Yorh
- There she is.
- Well, what are you all doing here?
- Don't be loitering. Get moving.
- What is the word, men?
- Fight.
- Right.
Oh, Mrs. Hill, I thought you were
in Washington, I didn't know...
- Hello, Angela.
- I finished my work a day earlier.
How was Washington?
Did you see our congressman?
Oh, yes.
And Angela, he was so handsome.
Did you get his consent?
The belle of New York.
A fine title
for somebody in our type of work.
Oh, it's only their way of showing
their love for our welfare house.
Amazing how they've grown to love
our welfare house since you've grown.
Miss Wilkins.
Well, the important thing
is they do come here.
But that look in their eyes.
Not exactly the right kind of look
for men who are seeking guidance...
...you know what I mean?
Yes, I know what you mean.
If it weren't for your parents
who built this welfare house...
...I'd advise you
to choose some other type of career.
Oh, but, Mrs. Hill
this has been my home. 'my life.
And I've tried so hard to equip myself
for this kind of work.
If you ask me, it's your equipment
that's causing all the...
Miss Wilkins.
Something has to be done.
For the time being, I think it'd be
better if Ms. Wilkins sang the solo.
The solo?
But, Mrs. Hill...
Oh, it's not your fault, Angela.
If you were only a little plainer.
- If you don't look so...
- So...?
Well, if you only would look
a little more so-so than so.
- Miss Wilkins, Miss Wilkins.
- Yes, Mrs. Hill?
- Save your song for the meeting.
- Yes.
- You do know the song, don't you?
- Oh, indeed.
And, Mrs. Hill, don't worry.
While I'm singing.
I'll try to look real plain.
Yes, dear.
Angela.
- Angela, Angela, I haven't seen you since...
- Gilfred, please.
Gilfred, you're getting that
moo-cow quality in your voice again.
And that's exactly the thing
I'm trying to discourage.
Good afternoon, gentlemen. Please.
Now, those of you seeking true guidance
may quietly enter.
Flowers for the fairest
flower of them all.
Friends, it's most gratifying
to see so many of you here tonight.
The fact that you have chosen
to spend your time here...
...in these surroundings...
...is proof that you have forsaken
your former hangouts...
...those environments of sin
and temptation.
We are proud
of the great number of you...
...who have deserted the evil
of wine, women and song...
...to embrace the virtues of
clean living and hard work.
Yes, men, this is the life.
This is the life.
Friends, it is most gratifying...
...to see many of you here tonight
at my bachelor dinner.
And even though
I'm getting married tomorrow...
...I'll always remember
this old gang of mine.
To you, my best pals.
- Oh, Charlie.
- To you!
- And now, to the bride.
- Oh, yes.
To Dixie "Dead Shot" McCoy.
the bride-to-be.
May she not be left waiting at the church
like the other five who tried to be.
Charlie, how do you get all the women
to fall in love with you?
Yes, Charlie, how do you do it?
Well, it's nothing, really.
I just wait at the stage door
with a bag of peanuts.
Peanuts? What kind?
Just peanuts. Then I present them
to the young lady and I say:
"Here, they're for you.
I only wish they were diamonds. "
Next thing I know, I'm engaged.
- How cute.
- How adorable.
- How nauseating.
- Max.
Charles, I wanna talk to you.
- Oh, no. Don't go.
- Not tonight, Charlie.
- Now, listen, I'm your lawyer, right?
- Right.
- You're my biggest client.
- I'm your only client.
Right. Now, as your lawyer.
let me ask you one question.
When your dear aunt finds out
about your blushing bride...
...this human shooting gallery...
...what do you suppose she will say?
For a while, nothing.
And her silence
will be positively profane.
- She'll kick me out without a penny.
- And I'll starve to death.
Well, Charlie, I've got to help you.
I mean, you're my best friend.
- I'm your only friend.
- Well, exactly.
I can't afford to let you do something
I'll be sorry for, now, can I?
- Oh, we want a speech. Come on.
- Yes, dear.
Well, there's nothing I can say
except goodbye...
...and farewell to my bachelor days.
So...
Who wants to kiss the bridegroom
On his last night out?
Next time they bring champagne on
I'll have the ball and chain on
Yes, ladies, I must leave you
I regret to say
I've bought the ring
This little fling
Will have to be our last soiree
Because they're putting me away
And tomorrow is the happy day
I'll be the starry-eyed groom
By high noon, no doubt
So who wants to kiss the bridegroom
On his last night out?
Who wants to kiss the bridegroom
On his last night out?
Next time they bring champagne on
He'll have the ball and chain on
Yes, ladies, I must leave you
I regret to say
I've bought the ring
This little fling
Will have to be our last soiree
Because they're putting me away
And tomorrow is the happy day
Oh, he'll be a starry-eyed groom
By high noon, no doubt
So who wants to kiss the bridegroom
On his last night out?
Oh, Charles.
Stop this. Stop it at once.
Get down off that table.
All of you. And get out of here!
Go on, shoo. Get out of my house.
Go on, shoo. Get out of my house.
Charles!
What's the meaning of this?
Who is that unclad creature?
And what are those obscene remarks
she's making?
- It's not obscene, it's French.
- French is obscene.
- What is the meaning of this. "obscene"?
- That means you better go.
- Very well, then, I obscene.
- Oh, the very id...
What's that?
Oh, that, It's a kind of a girl.
That much is obvious.
Why is she hung up here?
Well, she was sort of a guest of honor.
You see, she's getting married tomorrow.
And just how does that affect you?
Well, she's going to marry
a very good friend of mine.
Marriage to a woman like that
ought to be prohibited by law.
- You're so right.
- Charles, what am I gonna do about you?
You've been a problem
from the day you learned how to whistle.
- Aunt Letty, I can explain.
- Oh, not now.
I've had a long trip and I'm tired.
We'll discuss this in the morning.
Good night, Aunt Letty.
And when you leave.
take Buffalo Bill with you.
- The back of your neck, she look so sad.
- Yeah.
And your face.
it doesn't want to get married.
No, In fact, none of me does.
Charlie, if you feel like this
about marriage...
...why so many times you get engaged?
Well, I'm sincere when I ask them
and then something happens.
- What happens?
- Oh, I don't know.
I guess I just seem to lose interest in
any girl who'd marry a fellow like me.
If there is love,
happiness will find you
And cloudy days soon will be behind you
If there is love in your life
Harrison, why are we stopping here?
There's a trash wagon ahead, sir.
and they won't let us through.
If there is joy, you can banish sorrow
Give old Lucifer a shove
You can light your way above
If you let a little love in your life
Come in and
Let a little love
Let a little love
- Let a little love come in
Come in!
Let a little love
Let a little love
- Let a little love come in
Come in!
We're losing them, Angela.
You'll have to take over.
- Should I?
- Oh, sure.
Give a little shove
Light your way above
Let a little love come in
What?
Let there be love in your life
If there is love,
happiness will find you
And cloudy days soon will be behind you
Charlie, Charlie.
- To home, please.
- Aren't you going to wait for him, ma'am?
I pity the woman who waits for him.
If there is joy, you can banish sorrow
Give old Lucifer a shove
You can light your way above
If you let a little love in your life
Miss Bonfils will now distribute some
copies of our magazine, free of charge.
It would be very nice to hear the generous
jingle of a few coins in the tambourine.
- Angela.
- I'll have a magazine, please.
I'll treasure this all my life.
I'll sleep with it under my pillow.
- Would do you more good if you read it.
- I'll take one.
I'll take one.
Bless you, brother.
I'll have a magazine, please.
But you've already... Here.
- I'll take one, please.
- One for me.
- Bless you, brother.
- And me.
I'd like one, please.
What are you trying to do?
I wanna be saved by you and for you.
- You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
- I am, I am an awful sinner.
Coming down here in your fancy clothes.
Why don't you go back where you belong
and stop bothering us?
Bless you, brother.
- Beat it.
- Oh, wait, don't go.
- Let him have it.
- She ain't going. You are.
- Go back where you belong.
- Uptown swell.
- Beat it.
- Now, wait a minute, fellows.
- Now, wait a minute.
- Come on, let's go.
Are you hurt?
I'm numb.
Can you stand up?
I seem to be weak in the knees.
Oh, dear.
Your eyes are dazed and hazy.
- And blue.
- And blu...
There's nothing wrong with you.
Yes, there is, I'm in love.
Love?
You probably don't know about love.
Well, I certainly know it isn't
being numb, weak in the knees.
What is it?
Well, love is an emotion that's alive...
...exciting, vibrant.
You feel like a billowy cloud.
And you walk on air.
And good night.
And you walk on air.
And you walk on air.
And you walk on air.
Seeing's believing
And when I see you
I reali2e what an angel I found
I never thought I would see the day
When miracles occurred
And though the best of authorities
May not believe a word
Kissing's believing
And when I kiss you
I feel as though
We were miles off the ground
Never knew that dreams came true
But miraculously they do
Seeing's believing with you
Seeing's believing
And when I see you
I reali2e what an angel I found
I never thought I would see the day
When miracles occurred
- Dixie, would I lie to you?
- Ring that bell.
There's nobody at home.
I'll find out.
Nobody at home, huh?
- Did you shoot, mum?
- The shooting's just beginning around here.
My nephew is not here, Miss McCoy.
- Oh, you know me then, huh?
- From your picture.
- Last night you were hanging on the wall.
- Mrs. Hill...
Now put that gun away
or you'll be hanging my trophy room.
Come back here.
Well, you'd be upset, too.
if your heart was broken.
Oh, Charles, how could you hurt
and humiliate me so when...
Then expect me to just up and forget it
with a little old big-cash settlement.
Oh, Charles.
This isn't gonna be easy.
That I guarantee.
In which case, I will plaster the name of
Hill in every newspaper in this country.
I'll tell my story from the hippodrome
twice daily.
How much?
Ten thousand dollars.
Blackmail.
Maybe this will teach your nephew
not to toy with my little old heart.
When I get my hands
on that young man...
...I'm gonna toy with
his little old head.
- Female bandit. Here.
- Thank you.
I'll bet this is more
than the others collected.
- I better go and see that she gets a cab.
- You stay!
- Others? What others?
- I'll go and ask her.
One moment, you worm.
I might have known.
All these checks I've written
to Charles, five of them.
Supposedly for his pet charities.
Well, I'm through being charitable
to everyone he pets.
You find him
or I'll never give him another cent.
Not another cent?
Why, you'll ruin me.
Oh, get out. Go on, get out!
And for you, young man...
...you can just wipe that smile
off your face.
Let a little love come in
Oh, let a little love
Let a little love
Let a little love come in
Bless you, brother.
Say, aren't you...? Say, wait a minute.
Hello, beautiful.
Oh, I'm sorry.
He's sorry.
- What can I do for you?
- I'm looking for Miss Bonfils.
- She's upstairs.
- Thank you.
Wait a minute, aren't you the fella...?
And you, you're the young lady
who was singing.
- Yes.
- Divine.
Divine?
Come in.
- Good morning, Miss Bonfils.
- Good morning.
What on earth are you doing up there?
I can't help it. You affect me this way.
- Me?
- You know, what you said.
This is it, I'm in love.
Oh, but that's ridiculous.
You're only supposed to feel that way.
You don't actually...
When I go, I go all the way.
Well, if there's one thing I despise.
it's a showoff.
Well, what did you want?
I want to reform.
Turn over a new leaf.
- I doubt whether I can help.
- Oh, but you can.
You've influenced my life already.
Why, do you know
what I did this morning?
Don't tell me you went to church.
Oh, no, I stayed away from one.
Well, it's certainly not my intention
to influence people in that manner.
I'll explain the whole thing...
...when we get to know each other better.
And I have no intention
of influencing you like that, either.
Yes, Elsie?
- Angela... Oh, hello.
- Hello.
Oh, Angela, I finished the posters.
Oh, and here's the list, Elsie.
Well...
Now, I have work to do.
And I'll appreciate it
if you will kindly leave the premises.
But I belong here.
I'm one of your stray lambs.
A little lost sheep.
"Little lost sheep. "
Oh, please. You can't turn me away.
Why, everyone deserves a chance.
How do you know I'm not sincere?
People can be wrong sometimes.
You mustn't be biased or prejudiced.
Miss Bonfils.
Just because a man is more "uptrodden"
than downtrodden...
...is no reason to suspect his motives.
Frankly, it's the uptrodden
who need the saving these days.
- You've got a point there.
- Then you'll give me a chance?
You'll never regret it.
- I wonder.
- Oh, come on.
Where do we start?
Who will I save first?
- You.
- Me?
Couldn't we start with something easier
and work down to me?
Here's the address
of an employment agency.
What for?
If you really want to join our group...
...let's first see
if you can do an honest day's work.
Well, one day can't be so bad.
All right, I'll do it for you because...
To say I'm fond of you
Would merely be an attitude
To say you're wonderful
Would be a platitude
And so to Santa Claus
I owe eternal gratitude
for leaving you
Beneath my Christmas tree
Baby doll
You beautiful baby doll
Let's go home and tell your mother
That you found a baby brother
I'm takin' you off the shelf
And showin' you off myself
Oh, can't you see it now?
I'm tahing you walhing
Holding your parasol
Oh, honey, there's no use talhing
You're a beautiful baby doll
Baby doll
You beautiful baby doll
Let a little love
Let a little love
Let a little love come in
Let a little love
Let a little love
Watch it.
Look out!
Angela.
Streetcar, miss?
Oh, it's you.
The New York Transit offers
speed, comfort and economy.
No, thank you.
And you better tend to your business
or you'll lose this job too.
I will if I don't get any customers.
I don't mind so much about myself, but
I'd hate to see old Jiggs here lose his job.
He can't afford it at a time like this.
- You see, he's planning to get married.
- Yes?
Yeah, they've already picked out
the stable.
And I'm giving them one of my shoes
to hang over their door for luck.
I'll hope they'll be very happy.
How can they be happy
if we haven't any customers?
What do you say, customer?
- Well, I really shouldn't, but I...
- Oh, you'll like it.
You're gonna love this trip.
Up the Bowery, across Cherry into Grand.
down Rivington through Mulberry.
I've made it eight times today
and I'm still not tired of it.
Hello there.
Everybody's so friendly.
They keep waving at me all day.
- They wanted to get on.
- I know.
Oh, here. Peanuts.
I only wish they were diamonds.
- That's silly, you can't eat diamonds.
- But diamonds can buy a lot of peanuts.
I've got a lot of peanuts.
You know. Jiggs here has been suggesting
a double wedding.
He wants to give us one of his shoes
to hang over our door.
- I think that's very presumptuous.
- You can't argue with a horse.
- Honestly, you're insane.
- Insane?
I should say I am.
From the moment I saw you.
Oops, my heart went oops
The moment that we met
My heart went whoops
I never will forget
My heart turned hoops
The moment that I met you
Oops, my feet went oops
I nearly tooh a spill
My hnees went oops
They shook a bit until
My head went oops
You mustn't let it get you
I was going for a very
What you'd call a
solitary sort of stroll
Just a-twiddling my thumbs
When I heard a lot of drums
Begin to pound
And roll
And oops
My heart went oops
It went into a spin
Of loop-the-loops
You must have thought me kin
To nincompoops
The silly way I acted
Of course, you couldn't hnow
That you were so aglow
And I was so attracted
But, baby, take a bow
My heart is going oops right now
Woo!
I'll be right back.
I'll just be a minute.
I have to put old Jiggs to bed.
And then we can...
We'll go and have a bite of supper.
I know just the place.
Good music and good food.
What do you say?
Angela?
Angela.
- Where are you?
- I'm up here.
You too? Darling.
I might have known
I couldn't trust a nitwit like you.
- I've been all over town, I couldn't find him.
- That settles it.
From now on, as far as I'm concerned.
he's a complete stranger.
- Hello, stranger.
- Hello, Charles.
Charles!
- Charles!
- Where have you been?
- On a streetcar, mostly.
- Streetcar?
- Finally run out of money.
- No, I was driving it.
- Drinking?
- No, Aunt Letty, I was working.
- Working?
- Working?
Did you say you were
driving a streetcar?
And did you maybe ride a bicycle?
And were you pushing one of those...?
Oh, what a relief.
I thought for a moment, I was:
Well, aren't you? Now, sit down.
Tell me what this is all about.
Well, Aunt Letty, I've reformed. And
I want you to meet the girl who did it.
- Girl?
- Girl?
- She's here.
- In this house?
Oh, no.
- This time I'm serious.
- This time I'm serious.
The last mess I'm getting you out off.
- Now, look here...
- Bring in this female.
- This girl doesn't want my money.
- No, none of them do.
Unfortunately, it's always my money.
- Oh, here she is.
- Young woman, if you think you...
You?
You.
You mean, you...
...and he?
Isn't it wonderful?
It's fantastic!
Angela, how did a sweet.
lovely child like you...
...ever meet a man like my nephew?
- I guess it was fate.
- But how did you meet?
Did he go where you go
or did you go where...?
- Oh, no.
- I hope you'll approve of me.
Angela, I can understand
your being attracted to Charles.
His personality and charm.
But it's only fair to warn you, honey.
You see, Charles has one trait...
...a characteristic inherited
from his uncle's side of the family.
What's that?
- He's no good.
- What?
I'm sure Charles would be
the first to admit it.
I wouldn't.
I must have some good in me...
...even if it comes from
your side of the family.
Of course he has.
Goodness knows Charles needs help and
he couldn't find a better little helper.
Then you'll give your consent?
I'll take care of everything.
The wedding, your bridal gown...
...and from now on.
my home will be your home.
That's the one thing I've missed
all these years.
A family.
But now I'll have the two of you.
And pretty soon, there may be three.
Well, I have to live someplace.
Perhaps you'd be interested in our park.
Most young engaged couples like summer.
Oh, I've never liked
summer, It's too hot.
- Oh, summer's too hot.
- Summer's too hot.
- Well, what about winter?
- Winter?
Too cold.
- Too cold.
- Yes, winter's too cold.
How about something in between?
- I've always liked autumn.
- Autumn.
- Autumn.
- Autumn.
- Now, isn't that just lovely?
- Oh, yes.
- You sit right here.
- Don't you like that? I've always liked fall.
- Right here, there we are.
- And look at these.
- Like this?
- Now, right here like this?
- Beautiful, beautiful.
- Lovely, lovely.
If you'll hold it, please.
What a lovely couple.
We're posing for a picture
By Currier and Ives
And I can't wait
Till the great day arrives
For you'll be so attractive
And I'll be so in love
That years from now when I'm madame
And everybody calls you sir
We still can see
The boy and girl we were
For grooms turn into husbands
And brides turn into wives
And there we'll be
For the rest of our lives
So thank you, Mr. Currier
And thank you, Mr, Ives
Over here?
- Get out of the way, will you?
- Miss Elsie.
- Oh, good morning, boys.
- Miss Elsie, look.
Look what we've got for the newlyweds.
- Oh, that's beautiful.
- Yeah.
- Where'd you get it?
- Where'd we get it?
- Why, we bought it.
- Where do you think? We bought it.
- Good morning, Miss Elsie.
- Good morning.
- It's beautiful, it's beautiful.
- Thank you. We're gonna rehearse now.
- Fine.
- Gilfred, we're gonna rehearse.
Gilfred, that's much too slow.
Now, again.
Gilfred, your heart isn't in it.
Well, how could it be?
Now, they're gonna be walking like this.
Now, you watch me.
Come on. Officer Clancy.
you be the groom.
- Oh, Miss Elsie, I'll feel silly.
- No, you won't.
- Come on.
- Oh, all right.
I do.
Remember, now, you boys line up here
and kiss the bride.
First the groom.
Angela.
- Hello, Gilfred.
- Angela, you look lovely.
Well, thank you.
You're very sweet.
Well, apparently not sweet enough.
Gilfred, you mustn't...
Perhaps it will be best if someone else
played the "Wedding March. "
- But you play so beautifully.
- Please.
I'm not made of wood.
- All right.
- Oh, Angela.
If you should change your mind.
you'll find me a very forgiving man.
- You sure you don't want one?
- No, thanks.
- Well, I thought maybe...
- No, thank you.
All right, all right.
- A game of cribbage?
- Not for me.
Oh, sure.
It might be a good idea
to lay off those cards.
You know.
the gambling fool is the devil's tool.
Thank you.
Look, I know that this wedding tomorrow
is important to you.
I know you wanna take it easy.
But this is your last night.
You can't just sit here and read.
No, as a matter of fact.
I think I'll turn in.
Turn in? It's 9:OO.
Don't you know that every hour of sleep
you get before midnight...
...does you more good
than all the hours you sleep after that?
- No, I do not.
- Well, you should.
Just fine.
your wanting to turn a new leaf...
...but you can't be
this good all at once.
It's too much of a shock
to your nervous system. And mine.
See you in the morning, Max.
Now, who could that be at this hour?
Probably a little man.
a white coat with a net.
- Better say I've retired.
- Hey.
It's a policeman.
A policeman?
- It's you. Officer Clancy.
- Good evening.
- Mr. Ferris.
- How do you do?
- Good evening.
- Sit down.
Thank you, I wanted to say that on behalf
of me and the boys in the precinct...
That's Precinct 99.
We.., I wanna congratulate you
on the coming nuptials.
Oh, thank you, thank you.
At first, a lot of the boys thought
you were no good.
- But I convinced them otherwise.
- That's very kind of you.
They don't come any
better than Mr. Hill.
- Please.
- Well, how about a toast to the bride.
- No, I don't think we'd better.
- Oh, I'm off duty.
No, I mean me.
You won't drink to the bride?
- Well, really, I...
- To Angela?
And you won't drink to her?
Well, I'll see that something's done...
Now, wait a minute.
You're right, absolutely right.
Well, I was wondering.
I didn't mean
that I wouldn't drink to her.
- Don't get me wrong.
- A little bit of ice.
A very short one. A wonderful girl.
- Mr. Hill live here?
- Oh, come right in.
Thank you very much.
All right. Good evening, Mr. Hill.
- Well, hello there.
- How are you?
- You know Mr. Ferris?
- How do you do?
- You boys know each other?
- Yeah.
- Sit down.
- No, thanks.
I just came to congratulate you
on your coming...
- Nuptials.
- Thank you very much.
- Thanks a lot. Thank you.
- I ain't much on words.
- Why don't we just toast the bride?
- No, I don't think I will.
- Ain't gonna toast the bride?
- Well, really, I...
You love her, don't you?
- Let's toast the bride.
- Good idea, good idea.
- Would you like a little soda?
- No, straight, please.
- I'll have a double this time.
- A double.
- How old is this whiskey?
- It's probably 40.
- Mr. Hill's apartment?
- Oh, yes.
- Come right in.
- To Angela.
- To Angela.
- To Angela.
- The sweetest girl in the whole world.
- You bet.
- Good evening, Mr. Hill.
- Why, hello there.
Mr. Hill
I came here to congiatulate you...
...and to tell you
that in spite of our rivalry...
...I've consented to play
the "Wedding March. "
- Oh, I'm honored.
- Please.
- You're quite welcome.
- Gilfred, ain't you gonna toast the bride?
- Well, I usually don't indulge.
- Come on, pour him a drink.
- How would you like yours?
- I'll take mine straight.
- Just straight.
- A tall one this time.
- There you are.
- Fill mine to the top.
- Here we go. To the bride.
- To the bride.
- No question about it, sir.
- You can have it with us.
I always say.., I always say...
- Howdy, Mr. Hill.
- Congratulations, Mr. Hill. Congratulations.
Charlie, wake up.
- Wake up.
- I am awake.
Wide awake.
- Max, how'd we get here?
- You insisted on a last toast with Jiggs.
Quite a celebration for something
that didn't come off.
What time is it?
One-thirty.
The wedding was at noon.
Yeah.
What are we doing here?
Let's get this thing straightened out.
It is straightened out.
Max, I love Angela more than anything
in this world.
But look what I've done to her.
Look what happens
when my intentions are good.
But this wasn't even your fault.
Sure it was.
We gotta do something.
We can at least convince her
you're not a heel.
You couldn't even convince me.
Angela.
The janitor let me in.
He called me Mrs. Hill.
He probably thought we were...
You look so lovely.
I'd have made a lovely bride.
Must have been embarrassing.
Yes, it was.
Sure.
Charles.
It's not too late.
It's no use, Angela, It won't work.
Can't you see what I've done?
- I'm unreliable and selfish.
- You were all of those things this morning.
Exactly, but I just realized it.
That's nonsense.
This is my wedding day
and I want to get married.
But you don't marry a fellow just
because you happen to be dressed for it.
Darling, you need someone dependable.
- A man with both feet on the ground.
- No, Charles.
I want a man who walks on air.
Please marry me.
Angela.
Angela? You know.
I think you play beautifully.
Thank you.
You know, I don't think there's anything
prettier than a drum and a tambourine.
Don't you agree?
Elsie, where's Angela?
- She's not with us anymore.
- She hasn't left the group?
Oh, yes. We cried the night
she turned in her tambourine.
- Oh, she's changed so.
- Changed?
Yes, she said something about
being so tired of being too good.
She was awful good, you know.
Haven't you any idea where
I could find her?
Well, let me see.
You might try...
You might try the gayer places.
Cabarets.
Elsie, if you have any word from her
at all, call me at Webber's Casino.
I'm there every night.
All right.
- Elsie, how could...?
- I had to say something.
- What will he think of me?
- At least he'll be thinking of you.
And I think that tonight
we'll go to Webber's Casino.
- What?
- Yes.
Now, that you're a disillusioned woman
we'll give Charlie a chance to reform you.
How could I act like a frivolous woman?
- You've got every part to play it with.
- It's impossible.
- I could never do like that.
- Yes, you can.
You've been moaning around for months.
- You're going, I don't care what you say.
- I couldn't.
- Oh, Elsie, look at this.
- Oh, it's beautiful.
- I'll get my things together.
- It does feel soft.
Don't take any of my things.
Where's my corset?
- These are your gloves.
- You have it. This is my necklace.
- These are my earrings.
- What was this? I forgot...
- Elsie, Garters.
- Oh, the garters.
But do you think we can be this bad?
You're not being bad.
just little naughty.
- Well, I don't know.
- Now, hurry up and get dressed.
Oh, I can't wait, I can't wait.
Wanna be naughty
Maughty but nice
See if I'm made of
Sugar and spice
To all convention
I call out, "Gangway"
I confess that I wanna care less
Than Eva Tanguay
Gladly I'd chance the
Stares of a few
If I could dance the
Bunny hug too
Suppose a stranger
Should arrange a tte--tte
While he becomes pleasant
Across a hot pheasant
I'll put the whole thing on ice
That's if I'm naughty
Mot really naughty
Just sort of naughty
But nice
Wanna be naughty
Maughty but nice
See if I'm made of
Sugar and spice
To all convention
I call out, "Gangway"
I confess that I wanna care less
Than Eva Tanguay
Gladly I'd chance the
Stares of a few
If I could dance the
Bunny hug too
Suppose a stranger
Should arrange a tte--tte
While he becomes pleasant
Across a hot pheasant
I'll put the whole thing on ice
That's if I'm naughty
Mot really naughty
Just sort of naughty
But nice
Oh, Elsie, you look lovely.
- Are you ready?
- Ready.
Baby doll
You beautiful baby doll
Can't you see it now?
I'm tahing you walhing
Holding your parasol
Oh, honey, there's no use talhing
You're a beautiful baby doll
Good evening, ladies.
- Look.
- What?
He's a waiter.
- He's working.
- Yeah.
- Do you think he's seen us yet?
- I don't know.
He's turning around.
Quick, look sophisticated.
He's turning around again.
He's looking this way.
He's seen us.
Oh, mercy.
Here he comes.
- Angela, Elsie.
- Well.
- Oh, it's you.
- This is terrible.
Well, what's the matter?
Isn't my halo on straight?
Two nice girls like you.
out in a caf unescorted.
Oh, don't worry.
You've got to leave.
Are we going to have to send
for another waiter?
You girls don't belong
in a place like this.
Thank goodness we didn't have trouble
with the waiters in those other places.
What other places?
Well, with all we've had to drink.
it's hard to remember.
What?
Let's order something
before it wears off.
Yes, just take our order, waiter.
- But what'll it be, Elsie?
- The same. Champagne.
- Champagne?
- Champagne.
- Angela.
- And hurry.
It's working. He's worried.
Well, he should be.
Give me a bottle of sparkling soda.
- Sparkling soda.
- Two champagne glasses.
Champagne glasses for soda?
- That's what I said.
- That's a new one.
Thank you.
Champagne.
I hate to see you do this.
Oh, we wanted two bottles.
We only serve one at a time.
Unless you were planning
to drink it out of the bottle.
- Don't be rude, waiter.
- Anything else?
No, that'll be all.
Elsie, I'm frightened.
Why?
- I like it.
- Me too.
But I don't feel anything.
- Neither do I.
- Maybe it hits you all at once.
- Well, I hope I'm sitting down when it does.
- If you're not, you will be.
And now, ladies and gents.
Webber's Casino presents...
...one of our own
famous singing waiters.
Waiter Number 7, Charlie Hill.
I wanna be a dancin' man
While I can
Gonna leave my footsteps
On the sands of time
If I never leave a dime
Never be a millionaire
I don't care
I'll be rich as old King Midas
Might have been
Least until the tide comes in
Let other men build mighty nations
And buildings to the sky
I'll leave a few creations
To show that I was dancing by
I wanna be
free as any bird can be
Yes sirree
Gonna leave my footsteps
On the sands of time
If I never leave a dime
A dancin' man
With footsteps on the sands
Of rhythm
And rhyme
A dancing man
With footsteps on the sands
Of rhythm
- Very good, waiter.
- Thank you.
- Here, would you deliver this note for me?
- Certainly, sir. To...?
That blond number right over there.
But, sir, a note from a stranger
might offend the young lady.
- With her type, there are no strangers.
- That's right.
Go on, hurry, hurry. Go on, go on.
- Oh, Charles, you were just wonderful.
- Marvelous.
- From an admirer.
- Oh, thank you.
Elsie, I think we'd better leave.
Why, this is one
of the most respectable saloo...
- Restaurants in New York.
- Good evening.
- Two, please.
- Sir.
See? There's Charlie.
It's a fight. Come on.
Call the cops.
Look out!
- Watch out!
- Charlie!
- What kind of place is this anyway?
- I didn't know that this sort of thing...
- Where is...? I didn't expect this to happen.
- A fine lawyer you are, I could sue you.
Oh, now, just listen.
I'm an innocent bystander.
- Angela.
- Get out of my way.
- Why, Angela?
- Mrs. Hill.
- What are you doing here?
- Well...
- Look at you. Absolutely disgusting.
- It didn't turn out like we thought.
- Have you been drinking?
- No, Aunt Letty, just soda water.
- Soda water?
- Soda water?
You know very well, Angela.
that I'm not going to serve you any...
- I wanna get out. Let go.
- Mrs. Phineas Hill.
You know, I thought my champagne
tasted flat. Come on.
- Angela.
- Let go of me. Don't touch me.
- For heaven's sake, don't make a scene.
- Scene? Who's making a scene?
- What about the scene you made?
- I was defending you.
- You have no right to defend me.
- I have too.
I love you and you love me.
- I do not.
- Hey, here's your bird.
I don't want it. Throw it away.
Gladly.
I don't wanna see it again.
I don't wanna see you again.
That can be arranged.
- I've never been treated so insufferably.
- You got what you deserved.
- Is that so?
- Yes.
I ordered champagne, I wanted champagne
and I expected to get champagne.
And what did you bring me? Soda water.
Angela, I was only...
- You were only a conceited, egotistical...
- Then why did you wanna marry me?
- Because you need me.
- Need you? Listen to who's talking.
I was modest enough
to think you were too good for me.
I even tried to make you hate me.
Well, you've done a very good job.
You don't know what a relief it is
to suddenly find that I despise you.
I've developed a delightful dislike
for you too.
- I also hate you.
- Ditto for me.
- Why, you...
- Look out!
Come down here.
Come down here this minute.
You can't do that.
Yes, they can. They're in love.
When you're out
With the belle of Mew Yorh
With the beautiful belle of Mew Yorh
Ev'ry person you meet
Lihe the cop on the beat
Leaves whatever he's doing
And crosses the street
And your heart bobs around like a cork
When you're out
With the belle of Mew Yorh