1
I came in last night about half past ten
That baby of mine wouldn't let me in
So movin' on over
Rockin' on over
Move over, little doll
The mean old dog is coming in
Breathe the air, Mrs. Donnelly!
I'm eating dust.
The wind in your hair!
Put the bloody top back on, Sonny!
I will not hear your negativity.
Madam, this is Route 66
and we are most assuredly
getting our kicks!
Whoo!
She changed the lock on my back door
Now my key won't fit no more
Movin' on over
Rockin' all over
Move over, nice doll
The mean old dog's going in
Hi. I'm Chet and I'll be
happy to valet your car.
Not as happy as we are
that you are happy to do so, my friend.
Just tell me... Just tell me
there's a cup of tea
and a biscuit waiting inside.
That's a great accent.
Are you from Australia?
The sound of destiny, madam...
calling us with her siren song.
And go to her we must!
For this is our moment.
If not now, when? And if not us, who?
Later?
Somebody else?
My hand is powdered,
so the shake is firm and dry.
My clothes precisely walk the tightrope
between casual and relaxed formality.
Sonny, Sonny. Let me do the talking.
- Alright?
- Okay.
Mr. Burley.
While I am aware that...
convention dictates that I should wait
for your assessment of our proposal...
please take my interruption
less as rudeness than proof...
of our profound excitement
at the opportunity to meet yourself...
and your fine company.
And let me say right here and now...
Alright, that's enough, that's enough.
We agreed that my colleague would do
the speaking and rightly so for...
while her language may be... salty,
it has great economy and pith.
I don't care about any of that.
No, listen and learn, son.
Tea is an herb that's been dried out.
So to bring it back to life,
you have to infuse it...
in boiling water.
That is boiling water.
Everywhere I've been in this country...
they slap down
a cup of tepid nonsense...
you know with the teabag
lying beside it...
which means I've got to go through
the ridiculous business of dunking it...
in the lukewarm piss...
waiting for the slightest change
of color to occur.
And at my age... I haven't got the time.
This is what I'm talking about.
Get her some boiling water.
Now, Mrs. Donnelly.
Tell me more about your establishment.
We've been going properly
for about eight months now.
But phase two of the development
is more or less complete.
Like life and a tortoise.
It's not exactly fast-moving...
- Mrs. Evelyn Greenslade.
- Here.
...but you only make progress
when you stick your neck out.
- Mr. Douglas Ainslie.
- Here.
We have guests that come and go.
- Mrs. Muriel Donnelly.
- Here.
But there's been a hard core
of regulars from the beginning.
- Mrs. Madge Hardcastle.
- Here.
Mr. Norman Cousins and Miss Carol Parr.
Both here.
We have monthly check-ups
at the local clinic...
and Sonny takes
a roll-call every morning.
A most valuable precaution to ensure
that nobody has died in the night.
Most of our guests don't just live
in India, they now work there.
These are lovely.
That is why they cost
10,000 rupees each.
Every day? We have to do this every day?
Process, madam.
We must respect the process.
Very well. You and I both know
that since a fine, genuine pashmina...
requires the annual growth
of at least three Changra goats...
you and everyone in this market
blend the yarn to give it more body.
The reason I come to this stall is that
whereas Bharat over there uses wool...
and Mohan goes with the rabbit fur...
you at least use a reasonable
quality of silk.
I'll give you 5,000 for four.
Done.
Thank you.
I'll see you tomorrow, Hari.
Tomorrow, Miss Evelyn.
And thank you for your respect.
Two of the guests have made
themselves useful
at the local expats club.
Which is, shall we say,
a little down on its uppers.
- Norman...
- Mmm?
I know the membership's dropping,
times are tight, but...
do you really have
to water down the wine?
What?! I uncorked it myself.
They're on to us.
Let's try the red.
And others are doing jobs
they never thought they could do.
One Queen was so
close to her elephant...
that when she passed away, the elephant
stood beside her tomb for three days...
before dying of grief.
We should all know such love,
just not necessarily from an elephant.
And sometimes they're right, they can't.
- Uh, when were these built?
- I'm sorry?
- What period are we talking about?
- What, um...
period? Ah, uh... yeah. Um...
17th... 17th century.
17th century.
- Sure?
- Absolutely positive.
- Wait, wait, wait. Maybe 18th.
- Oh, oh, oh...
Please admire the beautifully carved...
Now please admire
these beautifully carved pillars...
that are engraved
with typical Rajasthani...
which are engraved
with typical Rajasthani carvings.
typical carvings which...
And, um, you, you, you can see...
Look, I could talk and talk...
but all that counts in the end
is this one had an idea.
I know, I know, but it works.
The proof of our success
is we are victims of it.
The Marigold Hotel is full up.
With nobody checking out.
Until the ultimate check-out.
So we have to expand.
There's a local place
we've got our eye on.
The Supreme Quality Hotel.
You put up the notes, we buy it.
And we become the furthest outpost
of the Evergreen franchise.
Leading to a chain of hotels
stretching across India and beyond...
for those such as...
this great lady...
whose face is a map of the world...
and whose mind,
though failing, still contains
many of the secrets of the universe.
Who had the chance to say, when she left
her home for the Best
Exotic Marigold Hotel...
as others will do...
"Why die here...
"when I can die there?"
If you'll indulge me.
Evergreen is a different concept.
We believe that the...
well that the leaves don't need to fall.
That these years, the mature years...
are an opportunity for travel,
for further education...
for different work situations.
Well, in a word,
an opportunity for life.
And for passing on the value
of that life to others.
I take it you would agree
with me, Mrs. Donnelly?
I'm here, aren't I?
Are you talking to other
companies about this?
We came to you first.
We do have competitors.
Not in our eyes.
And did you tell them
about the roll-call?
With a spoon, they ate it up.
Sonny, this is huge.
So when do they sign the check?
Hoops, Sunaina.
Before our triumph is complete,
there is one more through
which we must jump.
At some point in the next soon,
Mr. Burley...
has promised to send
an evaluator to the hotel.
Undercover. "His guy,"
he called him, to check us out.
We'll be ready. Now, can I talk
to you about the wedding plans?
The engagement party is on Thursday
and we have dance rehearsal...
at the Viceroy Club at 4. And I have
some exciting news about that.
Let me put just one word
in your mind, Sunaina.
"Elopement. " We elope.
Okay. Can you not see
how romantic that would...
Now get out of the way.
This is important.
Hello. Who's there, my love?
Sonny boy. How's America?
Kushal?
I did not know you were in Jaipur.
I'm back, baby.
And how beautiful did your girlfriend
get while I was gone, huh?
Not girlfriend.
No, that would be my fiance.
So this is the big news. Kush and my
brother are choreographing our dance.
You call him "Kush"?
Okay, check this out.
Have you just come for the wedding
celebrations, Kushal?
Only to go away again?
Immediately, straight afterwards,
for a very long time?
I have a business venture in town.
If that works out, I'm here for a while.
isn't this great?
Mrs. Donnelly. Oh... Now?
You need me now? I have to go now.
Sonny, this is really cool. Watch.
No, she's calling me from the pool.
Okay.
Okay, okay. Okay, bye now. Bye.
So they're looking at me,
awaiting my wisdom and knowledge...
and I have none of either.
How many times
have you done that tour now?
Oh, 63.
And you still can't remember
a word you said?
You know how it is.
First the knees, then the names.
I should have stern
words with your assistant.
Oh, I will.
And when they don't work,
offer him money.
Thank you.
Well... goodnight.
- I wonder, do you fancy a cup of coffee?
- Uh...
Or chai, perhaps,
would be more appropriate.
I actually don't have any coffee.
Or chai for that matter.
No, of course not. Why would you?
Um, right. No, great. Um, sleep well.
- And you, too.
- Thank you.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight, then.
Suddenly I realized I wasn't alone.
So I turned round to see
who was tapping me on the shoulder.
Only the bloody
Archbishop of Canterbury.
It's funny because it's true.
Yes, and unfortunately, it's neither.
Are you walking out with us, Norman?
No, I'm afraid I...
I've got to stay here and count up
the meager takings, I'm afraid, Susan.
Oh, well, unless you need
some help finding a taxi.
No, I can walk home.
I actually live very near.
Oh, well... That's lovely.
It is. You should come round sometime.
- Oh.
- Or tonight?
Sir Norman?
Yes, what is it?
Miss Carol is on the phone.
She's wondering when you'll be back.
Well... another time.
Yes. Yes.
Well, goodnight.
The thing is, you see, what one
has never ever had before is...
opportunity.
I spent years back in England
trying to spread my gift around.
Couldn't find a single
willing recipient. Here...
cracking job, bit of bank in my pocket.
Turns out I'm rather
catnip to the ladies.
Yeah, but I can't indulge
myself, or indulge them...
because I have already got one...
and I think the absolute world of her.
Still, one does think...
what if she weren't there at all?
I mean, what if one were alone again?
How impossibly free one would be.
I'd miss her dreadfully, of course.
But I'd have a bloody good time.
Whoops.
Better watch out for those.
They could do some damage.
Not to worry, boss.
I take care of everything.
If you only go once around the room,
you are wiser than he
who remains sitting still.
And thus we two return to India
with new ideas and
greater enlightenment...
of the state of the world and humanity.
That flight made my ankles swell.
- Sunaina.
- Sonny.
Don't mind me. I'm just
standing here on my ankles.
I missed you, too.
Oh, we weren't away that long.
Why are you here? Who's on reception?
Oh, Sonny's mother has arrived.
Let's go back to America.
Everything else smooth?
How are the new menus?
They look great.
Oh, and the wedding tents have arrived.
Then let us go see them.
Is Vikram outside
with his beautiful minibus?
I didn't come with Vikram. I got a lift.
From who?
Look at you, Sonny. All of you got bigger
except your little poppy-out ears.
How I've missed your...
affectionate humor, Kushal.
Mrs. Donnelly, this is Kushal.
The best friend of my brother Jay.
She doesn't need to meet him.
Can he help with balloon ankles?
I have some grapefruit oil in the car.
A few drops works wonders.
I like this one.
You don't like anyone.
How can the one person...
Let me take these, they look heavy.
I can do heavy.
Thank you.
Shall we go?
Who carries grapefruit oil in their car?
So sorry.
- Am I late?
- Perfectly on time.
Have you ordered? I'm told the Chilla
pancakes here are not to be missed.
You're probably wondering
why I requested this meeting.
I presume it's to tell me my services
are no longer required.
Why would you think that?
Well, I've loved buying
fabrics and textiles for you.
I'd have been doing it anyway. But...
we know it was a test run,
to see if there was any demand.
And after three months
we were either going
professional or giving
the whole thing up.
We're going professional.
Oh, I'm delighted.
And please tell whoever it is that
I'm around to impart
what little wisdom I...
Evelyn, we want to employ you.
We want to go professional with you.
You have contacts. You have taste.
You can haggle
the hind legs off a donkey.
We would like you to
be in charge of sourcing
for our whole operation in this country.
I'm 79 years old.
We don't mind if you don't.
We'll give you a team
to work under you, of course.
It's going to mean some travel.
- Good morning.
- Oh!
I was just riding past on my bike
and I saw you in here.
Well, I say riding, damn thing
broke down again, I was pushing it.
- Do you mind if I join you?
- No, please do.
I trust everyone's
ordered the Chilla pancakes.
You haven't lived until you do.
- I'm Douglas, by the way.
- Jodi.
Jodi's the representative of
the company I've been working for.
You've talked about her.
All good things.
They're mutual.
Actually, I've just asked
if she'd like to join us officially.
Have you?
Well, congratulations.
It would mean a lot of traveling.
Yes, I expect so. You'll love that.
She hasn't said "yes" yet.
Well, she will. Of course she will.
What's stopping her?
You see I think the problem
this time is the piston...
which must have had
what we call a seizure.
But, luckily, Cyril at the bike shop
has this tool called
a gudgeon pin remover...
which should minimize damage
to the bearing at either
end of the con rod...
or, God forbid, the con rod itself.
I think you're just
making these words up.
- Namaste.
- Namaste.
Would you have asked my opinion?
Sorry?
If I hadn't have come in,
would you have talked it over
with me before saying "yes"?
Of course I'd have told you tonight
and asked you what you thought.
Thank you.
What do you think?
That you'll do it wonderfully.
Good morning, Ainslie.
Morning, you two.
Not riding the bike, Douglas?
No, the piston's seized up.
But luckily everything can be saved
by a device called a gudgeon pin remover.
We just popped out
for some of those pancakes.
I don't suppose you'd care to join...
Good Lord. Are you alright?
I'm fine.
- Thank you.
- Nothing I haven't done before.
Something must have
gone wrong with his steering.
It almost looked as if
he was aiming straight at you.
You could be killed
by one of those things.
Oh, God.
How I wish I could
prevail upon you to stay.
Always leave them wanting more, Nimish.
Are we going to the Best
Exotic Marigold Hotel, madam?
There's another stop first,
if you don't mind.
Goodbye, Nimish.
- Your Highness.
- Welcome.
In this hand, I'm nothing but putty.
If you like it,
you should put a ring on it.
Would you mind waiting?
I don't quite know how long I'll be.
Your command is my wish.
He will wait.
Yes, but can you?
Tough.
Break out the champagne!
Let the klaxons sound!
For home are the happy hunters and fat
is the lamb that we have slaughtered!
Namaste, Anokhi.
- Namaste, madam.
- Namaste, Anokhi.
How was America?
It made death more tempting.
Not bad biscuits, though.
I can't call them cookies.
Oh, look.
These are for your mother, apke ma.
These are for your father, apke pita.
- Hello, beta.
- Mummyji.
Come here.
I was just checking in a guest.
You scare the guests.
I'll do it.
She must be the reason
why things are going so smoothly.
It takes teamwork to make
a dream work, Mummyji.
Cousin Sapna.
And little Ranjan.
Thank you.
And there's more.
And breakfast is served on the terrace
between 7:00 and 10:00, Miss Beech.
With roll-call at 9:00 precisely.
Roll-call?
To ensure that if anyone
has left us in the night,
at least they will not lie undiscovered.
Although you, dear lady, are nearer
the menopause than the mortuary.
Do fill in, please.
Hello?
Yes?
Oh, good morning.
Good morning.
Is this the Marigold Hotel?
Do you have a reservation?
- No, it seems great to me.
- I meant...
No, I know what you meant.
And, no, I don't have a booking.
Then you should plan your life
a little better. The last room's just going.
With great pride and joy I offer you
room 6, the jewel in our crown.
Overlooking the restaurant.
I was hoping for
somewhere quite private.
Another new guest.
Like lemmings they come to the cliff edge
that is the Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.
I'm so sorry, we're full up.
- That's disappointing.
- Mmm.
Fail to prepare, sir... prepare to fail.
I'm sorry, buddy.
Come, Miss Beech, your palace awaits.
I saw you at the airport, didn't I?
The man with only one bag.
Guy. Guy Chambers.
Lavinia Beech.
The name again, please?
Guy Chambers.
Mr. Chambers. Forgive me for the cursory
nature of my greeting.
I am Sunil Indrajit Kapoor,
owner and proprietor
of this great and
sincerely profitable hotel.
I'm pleased to meet you...
Of course we have our most
luxurious room available.
- We do?
- One to which I will personally escort you.
Don't you want to see my passport?
I know who you are, Mr. Chambers.
I know who he is.
Take Miss Beech to room 19.
Room 19 is not finished yet.
What can carpeting achieve
that a good pair of slippers cannot?
I'd really rather the room that I...
Please, Miss Beech, say it walking...
I don't mind what room I have, really.
But I mind, good sir. I mind deeply.
Sonny. A word.
In one hot minute, my darling.
I'm just attending
to this most significant gentleman.
Now.
One moment.
What is your problem?
I have never seen such rudeness.
Bigger fish are frying, Sunaina.
Mr. Burley promised he would send
someone to evaluate the hotel.
You told me he'd send someone...
He said he'd send his guy.
His guy! You see?
He was sending me a message.
That's not much to go on.
Instinct, Sunaina.
Instinct is the nose of the mind.
And I have a large nose.
It goes well with my poppy-out ears.
Yeah, these aren't bad.
Not bad at all.
You're happy?
When have you seen me happy?
Good evening, Mrs. Donnelly.
Evening, Mrs. Greenslade.
We understand there
are grounds for optimism.
The boy did well.
And you? How did you find America?
I went with low expectations
and came back disappointed.
Given your age, I'm impressed
you came back at all.
You're still standing, I see.
The old knee's hanging in there.
When's your next check-up?
Last week. And yours?
Tomorrow. We'll see what's come loose.
Evening, all.
- Evening, Mrs. Hardcastle.
- Namaste.
Evening. Had a good day?
Wonderful. Spent every
second of it together.
Suffocating. Spent every
second of it together.
He even followed me to the lavatory.
Everyone, this is Lavinia Beech.
- Good evening.
- Hi.
You're a bit young, aren't you?
Well, I'm here for my mother.
Not that one needs an excuse
to escape the six weeks of warm rain
that constitute an English summer.
She's thinking of coming for a longer stay.
I'm the advance party.
You must be hungry.
Please, come, sit down.
Not there, my darling. That is
the special table, already reserved.
For who?
Lordy lord, have mercy on my ovaries.
Ladies and gentlemen,
ladies and gentlemen...
this is the great Guy Chambers.
As welcome as he is fragrant.
Hello.
Hello.
Good to meet you all.
Perhaps tomorrow you will allow me to
take you on a tour of
our magnificent Pink City.
But now I shall
bring you food guaranteed
to tickle even your
most talented taste buds.
Well, that was thorough.
Find any polyps up there?
He's the one.
What one?
Our evaluator.
Sent to decide if we are
to be franchise or footnote.
What's your evidence?
The nose knows, Mrs. Donnelly.
Oh, right. So that's bollocks, then.
I'm here writing a book,
as a matter of fact. A novel.
That's a coincidence
because I read novels.
Have you written others?
No. No, this is my first.
It's just been kind
of a dream until now.
Any other dreams I can help you with?
So, what's it about?
It's about getting older, really.
And all that entails.
A sense of emptiness, of loss.
A gradual narrowing of one's...
Yes, well, you've come
to the right place for that.
Yes, yes. Now listen.
It's covered in scorpions.
How many tuk-tuks are there
with bloody scorpions on them?
And the driver is completely lethal.
Of course I don't know his name
but he's got one eye.
- There you are.
- Oh, my God.
Now listen, you. I don't want
any more excuses. Just do it!
That was the club.
There's been a power cut...
and apparently some of the food
for the party tonight
is slightly on the turn.
I'm sure you'll sort it, darling.
There's a problem with the party?
No, no problem with
the party, my darling.
Carol. Carol, where are you going?
To the travel agency where I work.
Why don't I walk with you?
No need. See you later.
Mrs. Hardcastle. Is there
a problem with the party?
Better not be.
It's the club's biggest night
for years. Can't afford slip-ups.
There was a power cut.
Norman.
- Douglas.
- Hello.
You missed roll-call.
I thought we'd lost you.
I was here early. Cyril's helping me.
I need to get all this sorted
for the wedding. I've got this whole...
bike thing planned.
Turns out, it wasn't
a piston problem at all.
Something to do with
the carburetor. So...
You don't care, do you?
Only insomuch as it matters to you.
But still you came.
Listen. I'm going to Mumbai
in a couple of days.
I know, for Laura's conference.
I was thinking, why don't you come?
She's my daughter,
I'd like you to meet her.
Of course. But I'm not sure
I can make a trip like that.
Silly idea.
With the new job and everything.
I shouldn't even be going myself.
Plenty of tours to fail to guide...
and the bike still isn't finished.
I would love to meet her.
It'll happen.
Oh... will I see you tonight?
- What?
- The engagement party.
Absolutely. I wouldn't miss it.
Wonderful.
- Bye.
- Bye.
You should marry that girl.
I want to.
Where's our new guest?
Which one?
The American...
I didn't see him at breakfast...
Good morning.
The man with no plan
who still gets the best room.
I felt really bad about that.
Not bad enough to swap with her.
No, I did swap. After dinner last night.
So how's the new room?
Monastic. Which I prefer.
No need to tell
the proprietor about this.
He's not the fastest fox in the forest.
He's my son.
And a fine fellow he is.
You must be very proud.
Don't speak to the guests, Mummyji.
Mr. Chambers was just telling me
how comfortable he is at the hotel.
I'm both delighted and unsurprised.
But really, no speaking.
Hope to see you again.
Go on, Mummyji.
And now, good sir, for our tour.
Let us find Vikram and
his beautiful minibus,
and taste the pleasures
of our fine city.
Could I come along? I was just
about to brave the city on my own.
Madam, this perfect specimen and I
were planning to spend
the day alone together.
- I didn't mean to intrude.
- Of course she can come.
Of course you can come.
It's difficult.
Every morning I take a taxi
to the roundabout and I have a decision.
I can either go left to Nimish...
or right to Abhilash.
Both of whom love me.
I'm pretty sure they're going
to propose soon enough.
Just because I'm looking
at you when you talk,
don't think I'm interested or listening.
Thing is, I don't
know who to say "yes" to.
Well...
No, I don't care.
Mrs. Donnelly?
The fun just never starts.
...who gave us our name and
protected us with his six noble gates.
Patterned our concourse with boulevards
of generous proportion
and exquisite grace.
...and crowned his achievement with
the magnificence that is the Hawa Mahal.
The Palace Of The Winds.
This is the palace?
This is the Supreme Quality Hotel.
Well played indeed, my friend.
Your eye does not flicker and the cards
stay close to your noble chest.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Why are we here?
Let us look around and you will see.
Please, come. Come, come, come.
Clearly whoever named this establishment
had a sense of mischief.
But had he named it
the Supreme Potential Hotel...
then, my friends, we would be talking.
I wanted to ask you about your mother.
I can only apologize.
Here is our planned
installation of an elevator.
Easy access for the elderly to the higher
floors before they make the...
greatest climb of all.
And from here to the hospital it is
but a short walk or a stretcher ride.
What about your father? Where is he?
- Scattered on holy waters.
- Sorry.
Finding, at last, the peace my mother
denied him while he lived.
Why, why do you ask?
I don't know, I'm just
really struck by her.
By whom?
I'm sorry?
By whom were you struck?
By your mother.
My mother?
Your mother, yeah.
Sorry to butt in, could I just...
- My mother?
- Your mother.
Do you own this place?
Yes.
It is the most recent addition
to our burgeoning empire.
Not the last time I looked.
Kushal?
To what do we owe this... pain?
Funny guy.
Kushal Kadania.
Hi. Guy Chambers.
- Lavinia Beech.
- Great pleasure.
Why are you here, Kushal?
And please explain the hat.
So what do you think?
You like the place?
I think it could be
really great. Yes, I do.
How clever of Sonny to buy it.
Except he didn't buy it.
You speak for me? How do you know?
Because I did.
I closed the deal yesterday.
You wouldn't want to read this, darling.
Please excuse her, madam.
Hello. I don't think I
ever caught your name.
Babul, madam.
Is this your daughter?
My niece, Aaina.
She was in an accident and needs
many hours of physiotherapy.
And you bring her, and wait?
There's no present like the time.
- I also bring banana chips.
- Oh.
Shall we go?
Is everything alright?
Oh, it's fine. Fine. Who's that?
Goodbye. My driver, Babul.
He knows a thing or two.
Please tell me there'll be something
for the old people to dance to.
Because we can still shake it, you know.
Don't worry, Aruva's a professional.
So when do you and Sunaina
do your dance?
It depends on whether Sonny
ever gets here for the rehearsal.
- Sonny.
- In-laws.
Beta.
- Jay.
- You're late.
It's a pleasure to see you.
A ray of sunshine on a dark day.
- Sonny boy.
- Don't call me that.
Your friend Kush has cheated us
out of what is rightfully ours.
What are you talking about?
- Kush is in town?
- You didn't tell us.
How did he cheat you?
By snatching from us
the Supreme Quality Hotel.
- Had you made an offer on it?
- We don't have the money yet.
Then how did he cheat you?
You think he didn't know
we were planning to buy it?
Sonny. The place has been
on the market for over a year.
- I saw it, I contacted my investor.
- Your father.
And my investor agreed that we should
make a move before the price went up.
How hard it must be not to choke
on the silver spoon in your mouth.
Ask him if he knew.
Did you know anything?
Would I have bought the place if I had?
His tongue is forked
and he lies like a rug!
Why are you being like this?
Isn't this somebody's engagement party?
We have a dance to rehearse.
- I know how to dance.
- You still have to rehearse.
That's why I'm here.
Shall we?
Host is looking dapper.
- What?
- You, Norman. Very spruce.
Ah. Well.
Big night, isn't it?
A happy conclusion
to a slightly bumpy journey.
That's really the point, isn't it?
For all relationships, the journey.
It's not enough to stand still.
There's gotta be...
progress. Movement towards something.
Because the really frustrating thing is,
we could be
madly happy.
And not to take the risk,
when it's so close
you could almost reach out and...
touch it.
The great and terrible
thing about life...
there's just so much bloody...
potential.
All of which is almost certainly nonsense
and I've no idea what I'm talking about.
Tell me about you, Norman.
What's biting your bum today?
Me?
I think I might have taken out
a hit on my girlfriend.
You're going to have
to drive some pretty
hard bargains with the factory owners.
And there's been a switch. Your first
port of call's not Delhi, it's Mumbai.
You're gonna have to get used to that.
I can't tell you the family holidays
I'd have had to blow out...
if I had a family.
Are you going to take Douglas?
I don't know. I hadn't thought.
How long have you guys been together?
We're not.
Oh, sorry, I thought you were.
No, well... We're not "not" together.
I'm going to be so late for this party.
Both suitors at the same party...
does give one rather a frisson.
Then why are you hiding?
It's been a while since I had
one suitor, let alone two.
Something of a dry spell.
Water doesn't flow till you turn
the tap on. Pick someone tonight.
Mrs. Donnelly. Forgive me for not
escorting you to the clinic, but...
our plans for expansion
have hit a roadblock.
What kind of roadblock?
Good evening, Mrs. Donnelly.
Oh, you look so beautiful.
Sonny, your mother needs to spend
some time with my parents.
For the guest of honor.
We are the guests of honor.
Congratulations.
This is just a wonderful night.
I was thinking of celebrating by asking
your mother for a dance.
- Whose mother?
- Your mother.
Really?
You're looking very
fine tonight, Norman.
I don't suppose you've seen
Carol anywhere, have you?
Here...
Thank you. I find it awfully hard not
to wipe my fingers on my trousers.
I've noticed.
Jean used to accuse me of doing it
deliberately to annoy her.
Whereas, the best way
was to stand in front of her
and fold up a road map the wrong way.
You're happy.
I've just got a text from
Laura. Well, five texts,
although I could
only read the first one.
I hate this machine.
Turns out she's coming here.
I thought she was going to Mumbai.
She's taking a diversion to see
her old man. In his natural habitat.
That's wonderful.
So the two of you
will finally get to meet.
And she can see for herself that
all the things I've told
her about you are true.
Oh.
Oh.
I hear you're going to dance tonight.
We met before. I'm Lavinia.
Lavinia. Absolutely.
You're probably thinking
I'm a little young
to be staying at the Marigold.
Either that or your plastic
surgeon's a genius.
I'm... quite interested
in your new place.
Come by again sometime.
Maybe I will. Or maybe I won't.
That means I will.
Mummyji. Guy Chambers has chosen you.
A great mystery for another time.
But the moment he beckons,
you must join him
on the dance floor to throw some shapes.
- I don't think so.
- Why not?
The man is so handsome he has me
urgently questioning my own sexuality.
What's left of our hopes
for the hotel are
in his hands. So, please,
take one for the team.
Are you pimping out your own mother?
No, no, not at all. No.
Although, yes.
Madge. I can't find Carol anywhere.
Norman, quick, kiss me.
What?
- You know you want to.
- I don't want to.
Well, I wouldn't mind but...
I'm sorry, Norman. I can't do this.
I'm in love with someone else.
Fair enough.
I'm breaking your heart. I'm sorry.
I'll get over it.
Forgive me.
Now, have either of you seen Carol?
I honestly thought it might help.
I thought if I could
see them at the same time,
I'd know which one I preferred...
which port in the storm I'd choose.
But it didn't work out that way.
Some you win, my lady,
and some you learn.
And I don't know why, but I rather
snubbed his kind invitation...
to go with him to Mumbai.
Where, as it turns out,
I'm going anyway.
So we'd actually be there together.
I don't know
if I'm excited or terrified.
Sometimes it seems to me
that the difference between...
what we want and what we fear...
is the width of an eyelash.
I'm sorry, were you talking to me?
Oh, the hearing's gone then, obviously.
Yeah, along with your backbone.
I don't know why I tell you anything.
Because I'm older and wiser.
19 days older.
That's the entire lifespan of a wasp.
Go on, talk to him.
Look, we don't have to dance.
We could just talk.
Well, we start by you telling me
what your name is.
It's Mrs. Kapoor.
That's all I get?
Mmm-hmm. That's all you get.
Huh. Alright, um...
Okay, I'm 64. I am single...
and my wife left me a couple
of years ago. I don't know why.
Uh, I'm generally kinder
to people than to animals.
Not that I'm mean to animals, I'm not.
I like animals. Especially dogs.
What do you want from me?
I don't know, just a little
back and forth. A little...
I went, now you go.
What do you really want?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I prefer cats.
I figured.
Have dinner with me.
Whenever you want.
We can go tomorrow night.
Night after that. That's...
Or I could book a table right here,
if you want?
What makes you think I'll say yes?
I'm hoping you already did.
Just not out loud.
Ladies and gentlemen,
distinguished guests...
the moment you've all been waiting for.
Please welcome to the dance floor,
Jay and Kush...
She is totally frosting him.
The evening's a disaster.
This is our night, Sonny.
Ours.
Nobody... nobody panic.
Are you okay?
It's just a little outage.
Soon have it sorted.
You better pray
I don't find you in the dark.
- I don't believe this.
- Norman?!
Carol, darling, where are you?
Neither do I. It's outrageous.
Don't pretend you're not relieved.
You think I'd organize a power cut?
The only thing you did organize.
I had more important things to see to.
What is more important
than your engagement?
If I could see where
your leg is, I'd kick it.
Then I wouldn't have to dance and you
could stay on the floor with your Kushti.
Who dances like he does everything...
better than me.
Really?
Really.
Sunaina, wait.
You're screwing up, Sonny boy.
I went to one once where the best man
and the groom were found
in bed together.
Which still went
slightly better than tonight.
I'm sure I paid that bill.
It was a power cut, it happens.
Just, please, no-one tell Madge.
No-one tell Madge what?
Oh, God.
Douglas?
Yes?
Um, Laura's coming tomorrow,
that's wonderful. I can't wait to meet her.
But, absurdly, um, as it happens,
I now have to go to Mumbai.
Oh.
But I was wondering...
I mean I was thinking that
when you come for the conference...
we could...
I don't know how long
I'm going to be there
but the time that I am
perhaps we could...
Hello, Dad.
Darling!
Hello, Douglas.
Darling?!
Hello, Evelyn.
It was all so delightfully last minute.
Yes, a bit of warning
would have been nice.
You didn't get my texts?
I hate that machine.
Laura's giving a speech at an international
conference. Aren't you, darling?
About the exponential growth
of internet start-ups...
and the consequent effect on...
I'll shut up now.
And when she mentioned
she'd been offered
two return flights,
first class, of course...
I couldn't resist the chance to come out
and visit the old crumbling ruins.
And see how the hotel was doing as well.
Daniel has been saying I was looking
tired and could do with a holiday.
It's typically him to be
so considerate and caring.
Daniel?
Daniel Green. He's a country solicitor.
And my boyfriend.
It was actually his idea that I come
and speak about this in person.
Apparently, we have three options:
desertion, unreasonable behavior...
or adultery. A rather unholy trinity.
You can take your pick.
I don't understand.
Daniel's proposed to me, Douglas.
He's asked me to marry him.
I'm here to get a divorce.
Ms. Lavinia Beech.
Here. Yes, thank you.
Mr. Guy Chambers.
I am here.
Mrs. Jean and Miss Laura Ainslie.
You can see us!
Mr. Douglas Ainslie.
Here, I'm here. Yeah.
Mrs. Muriel Donnelly.
What's left.
Mrs. Madge Hardcastle.
Present. Still fuming.
Mrs. Evelyn Greenslade.
Mrs. Evelyn Green...
Can't find her.
She's gone.
This is very exciting.
Not too short notice, I hope.
You've been to Mumbai before, surely?
Oh, yes, many times. Very many times.
- So you've never been?
- Never.
But I've got many relatives there.
Yes.
Hari, I wonder, could you
do me a favor from now on?
I think it's important if we're
going to be working together.
Could you always just tell me the truth?
Very well.
But I must warn you, Miss Evelyn...
I'll be the only one doing that.
These are serious business negotiations.
No more playing on the porch
with the puppies. You're a big dog now.
Carol!
Taxi!
Sunaina...
you're waiting for an apology.
You deserve one. Although
the power cut was not of my doing...
I nevertheless plunged
the night into darkness.
For that there is no excuse
and I am completely and sincerely sorry.
- Thank you.
- In my defense...
You said there was no excuse!
Kushal is machinating against me.
Because he bought a building?
He didn't even know
you were interested in it.
"Coincidence" is just a word for when
we cannot see the bigger plan.
All your guests are happy here.
Nobody is going anywhere else.
Let us delay this conversation
until the moment I'm proved right...
when perhaps it will be your turn
to apologize to me.
Dear Mr. Chambers.
I have your breakfast.
Ah, wonderful.
Excuse me.
A little patience, please, dear lady.
What would you like, Miss Beech?
Could I have a cup of tea, please?
I'll get you a fresh pot.
Just hot water and a teabag
on the side would be marvelous.
Lavinia was curious about
that new place you showed us.
The Supreme Quality, was that the name?
I don't recall.
Kushal thought the lift might be
rather a bonus for my darling mum.
Six stairs without a rest
is about all she can manage now.
Maybe we should take another look.
And also because the new proprietor
is quite handsome.
Truly, madam, you're on fire today.
Can't you make this thing go any faster?
My pedal is to the metal, boss.
Look, I'll give you everything in my wallet.
I'll give you my wallet.
Okay. Then let's go through the floor.
Left or right, madam?
I'm sorry, what?
Uh, when we reach the turning,
with which gentleman do you
wish to spend your time?
Oh, um, left.
How's your niece doing?
She's bored and frustrated.
Her first question to the doctor
was whether she would
still be able to dance.
Is she good?
She makes movement into magic.
You have no children yourself?
I did not marry, madam.
I just never fell in love.
Didn't stop me.
Stop here!
Hey, wait! Wait!
Listen. Whatever I said to you the other
night, you have got to forget it.
Oh, my very generous friend!
No, no. The deal is off.
Do you understand?
It is over!
You want to do a deal with me?
We can do deal, sir.
You... haven't understood a word
of what I've been
talking about, have you?
You...
you just... brought her to work.
Yes.
Darling...
- So do we have this clear?
- Very clear, Uncle.
- Are you sure?
- Very sure, Uncle.
We're not messing this up.
Categorically not.
Because this is showtime.
So, let's run through it again.
I stay here with the computer. You go
in the garden and I'll dictate to you...
so that no-one discovers
that your mind is empty.
Good. And when your friends
invite you to play with them?
I'll tell them where
to stick their ball.
This is terribly exciting.
I was too exhausted
to do much tourism the first time.
The irony of depression.
Tired all day and awake all night.
Now I sleep wonderfully.
Although one does rather miss a rose
on one's pillow in the morning.
Have you met Daniel?
Mum keeps promising.
I'm saving him up.
Have you thought about
our conversation last night?
Which option are you plumping for?
The thing is...
as I recall, you deserted me
and I'm not sure I was
entirely unreasonable.
It'll have to be adultery, then.
Not guilty.
Yes, but surely, by now...
Mum!
That's a sorry state of affairs.
What on earth are you waiting for?
Is that why she left so suddenly?
Oh, look, there's your fan club.
I think she actually went
to start her new job.
What a busy little pensioner bee she is.
This is a process that takes many weeks
and involves 12 separate dyes...
to produce the finished product.
The intricate patterns require
40 passes over the cloth...
and each pass involves
the entire length of the table.
There are 8 tables in
this room and 24 in all.
We will process around
2,000 meters of cloth in a day.
And as you know, ma'am,
the workforce is highly skilled.
The best that can be found in all India.
Please, follow me.
Be honest.
This man took one look at me
and thinks he can charge us double.
- No.
- No?
Four times. Read this and learn it fast.
And when I run my fingers through my hair,
say it with great authority.
I'm sorry. I cannot go below
50,000 per crate.
My costs will not permit it.
30 really is the most we can offer.
I'm not sure you understand
the work involved.
I understand perfectly,
but 30 is our limit.
Then we can do no business.
I thank you and your assistant
for coming here.
He's my partner, not my assistant...
and he has full authority to conduct
this negotiation himself.
Of course.
My friend...
we can get four for this price
anywhere else.
You're just asking more
because it's her...
You think because
you're with this white woman...
that you've climbed a treetop?
You think her white hair
is going to fluster me?
Don't talk rubbish!
Just because you've caught hold...
of some old white buffalo...
you think I'm going to give in ...?!
Every single word ...?
25,000 Rupees... Done.
What did I say?
That you understood
every word he was saying...
and he should have more respect
for his elders.
Well, he does now.
I thought you'd have left
for the Sangeet already.
- Where have you been?
- I was working late.
You'd gone before I woke up.
I was working early.
And I did tell you, darling.
Right.
You've missed me, you sweet man.
Let me get changed, hmm?
We'll go together.
Are you not worried about him?
There's no point in worrying
if there's nothing you can do.
Sonny, in a few days
we will all be one family.
And in this family, we do not
tell each other what to do.
We talk to each other, beta. We listen.
Guys, I know you're worried,
but it will be okay.
I will find another hotel
into which we can expand.
Why don't you just talk to Kush. Okay?
Please, Sonny, talk to him.
Just listen to what he has to say.
And just like that,
another good party dies a death.
Sonny, thanks for hearing me out.
I want us to form a partnership.
Outsourcing old age.
It's a brilliant idea.
It's brilliant and it's working.
But to keep growing, you've got
to have somewhere to grow into.
You were going to buy the hotel.
I'm proposing we own it together.
As part of the company
we form together, equal partners.
I know you began this
journey on your own,
but you've gone as far
as you can without help.
Without me.
What do you say?
I can see you're talking now, Kushal.
Your lips are moving.
But all I hear is the soft hiss
of treachery and betrayal.
- This was your plan all along.
- I had no plan!
Mrs. Donnelly, can you please
talk to this guy?
What's your advice, Mrs. Donnelly?
Never to give any.
Listen, think about it, take some time.
Long as you want. Five minutes?
Five is more than enough.
Is there really nothing you can do?
Are you really writing a book?
Well, I'm trying, yeah.
My son thinks you're not
who you say you are.
Is that why you came?
So tell me about your book.
Ah, okay.
Well... The story's changed quite a bit.
It was meant to be a story
about the end of things but now...
maybe it's about the beginning of them.
It's about a man who...
whose life has fallen apart...
and he's done what people do
when they've been bruised.
He circles the wagons, he shuts down.
But now he's, he's come
somewhere very far away and...
suddenly he's awake.
His blood is moving. He's...
It's the place,
it's the extraordinary place.
But mostly...
it's this person that he's met there.
And how does...
How does she feel?
Well, she doesn't know.
Not immediately, of course not.
That would be kind of
a short story if she did.
I think that she's scared.
And I'm sure that she was an incredibly...
beautiful young woman...
and she knows she's not that young anymore.
Although to him...
to him she looks wonderful.
But she wouldn't trust him
if he said that, so...
Actually, I don't think
she trusts anybody, really.
Least of all herself, which is probably
a sign that she's become...
become someone who she
doesn't really wanna be.
And every day that goes by
makes it harder to remember...
that she once was passionate, willful.
She disapproves of those things.
Now she fears them.
Which is why he's not pushing.
For now...
For now he just wants
an evening with her.
And another.
To see what happens.
That's my story.
Or at least what I know of it so far.
Shall we write the next chapter?
I don't know what to do, Mrs. Donnelly.
I used always to dream of the future...
but now all I see is him in front of me.
Looking back and laughing.
Having taken from me my livelihood...
and my Sunaina.
You know, there's a long list
of things I don't care for.
Doctors, sunburn. Mosquitoes.
People who outstay their welcome.
I could go on forever.
But there is one thing...
I cannot bear and that's self-pity.
It destroys everything around it.
Now don't be that idiot.
Don't let that happen.
Then tell me what to do, madam.
You have to work that out on your own.
Why, when you are here?
So you can do it when I'm not.
- Evening all.
- Oh, good evening, Mrs. Hardcastle.
In before midnight.
Only two customers.
I finished my shift early.
I felt like being alone.
Oh, call for the doctor, Sonny.
Nimish asked me to marry him
this morning.
And Abhilash did the same
this afternoon.
Decision time.
Your mother was one of the customers.
It appears she won
the Mr. Chambers lottery.
I didn't even realize she was playing.
Congratulations would have been nice.
I'm looking for my mother, Mr. Dharuna.
And her dinner companion.
I believe they were here tonight.
I could not possibly say, sir.
Did they leave together?
The Viceroy Club values discretion
above all else, sir.
You cannot put a price on it.
1,000 rupees.
They went into one of the bedrooms, sir.
- You have bedrooms?
- Yes.
For when our members get tired.
Or fortunate.
Thank you.
Pleasure doing business with you.
Sonny?
What are you doing here?
I think that's my line, Mummyji.
I came to speak to the inspector.
I have business to discuss with him.
What kind of business?
I need to know if I can
rely on his support...
with or without
the Supreme Quality Hotel.
He's not an inspector.
If that's what he's saying,
he's lying to you.
I don't think so.
I don't want to see you hurt, Mummyji.
I can take care of myself, beta.
And your business can
wait till the morning.
Go home now.
Is there anything else
I can get you for morning?
I'd like breakfast in my room
at 9:00, please.
And Earl Grey tea with pasteurized milk.
That's very important.
Anyone for a quick drink before bed?
I'd quite like a walk along the bay.
It's one of the sights, after all.
Especially at night.
What a lovely idea. Shall we come?
Oh, well, yes, of course.
I mean, if you...
Douglas, I was joking.
I'd rather walk naked
through the fiery flames of hell.
Bye, darling.
Practically the same thing.
Shall we go up?
She checked out, sir.
I beg your pardon?
Mrs. Greenslade
checked out earlier, sir.
Did she say where she was going?
Not to me, sir. Very, very sorry.
Okay.
Okay.
I tell you, he turned white as a sheet.
And the silly thing is I don't have
enough hair to run my hand through. See?
Your cousin was brilliant today.
It was the Hindi scolding
that did the job.
I thought my mother
has walked into the room.
Thank you, that was delicious.
Thank you.
So kind of you to put me up.
When you live in a hotel, you rather
crave an alternative occasionally.
It is our pleasure to welcome our cousin
and his friend to Mumbai.
- Namaste.
- Namaste.
There's no welcome
like an Indian welcome.
It is genuine.
That was rubbish about the hotel.
The truth is that I checked out
because there's something
I can't deal with at the moment.
For reasons that are utterly
stupid and feeble.
I'm only telling you because
you don't know the person involved.
Mr. Douglas.
My friend is mending his bike.
He's a good man.
And a brave one. Far braver than me.
Who fails to give him back
even half of what he deserves.
I want to say to him,
"Just give me time and I'll get there."
If I wasn't so useless,
that's what I'd say.
"Just give me a bit more time."
How much time do you have?
Just had an idea.
Why don't I pop by the agency today,
take you out to lunch?
Oh, not today, darling.
Busy, busy, busy.
I'll probably just have
a sandwich at my desk.
I could bring it to you.
You are so sweet.
Good morning.
Morning, Miss Beech. How are you today?
Not bad at all. Kushal and I
rather painted the town red.
Might I have some of that, please?
Now, Sunaina...
are you allowed to tell me
about your dress or is...
Oh Jesus! God, that's hot!
What the heck were you...
I'm so sorry, Miss Beech.
Are you alright?
Oh, no. No, it's no problem.
Honestly. It was my fault.
Hello, Dad.
Morning, darling.
You look tired. Did you not sleep?
I've been trying to learn
my speech for the wedding.
Thought I'd do it note-free.
Never say die and all that.
Until you die, obviously.
Um, darling...
What?
I went to look for a friend last night.
Evelyn. Yes.
I was hoping to meet her properly.
- She checked out.
- As in...
I think she went back to Jaipur.
Then what are you waiting for?
But I'm here.
I came here to see your speech.
Oh, bollocks to that!
You wouldn't understand a word.
Dad.
You've spent your life seeking out people
who can stop you being happy.
Doing the things you want to do.
Don't put that on me too.
Don't make me even more
like mum than I am already.
You have all the good bits,
all the brilliant bits.
Go on.
I'll make it alright with her. Go.
Yes.
- Thank you.
- Bye.
I've bought a present for your niece.
Something from the market.
I hope that's alright.
Much more than alright.
Good. Will you give it to her?
Of course.
Actually, wait a minute.
Which way is your house?
This way.
She's my sister.
Namaste.
My brother. My cousin sisters.
Namaste.
My cousin brothers. And 3 of my friends.
- Namaste.
- Namaste.
- My uncle.
- Namaste.
- My auntie.
- Namaste.
And...
Hello, darling.
She still wants to read your book.
Your uncle told me
how very brave you're being...
and I thought you deserved a reward.
What you do is wind her up like this.
And then, very gently...
That was me when I was her age.
Twirling away.
I wasn't bad, I don't think,
but I gave it up.
Just like most things in my life.
- Which is your house?
- Uh...
White house. I was born there.
So was she and her sisters.
My sister. My whole family.
What a lovely place to have lived.
I'm very happy you came.
So... what happened last night?
You left in a hurry.
I went to talk to the inspector.
And?
His mind was on other matters.
Because he's not the inspector.
No, Lavinia Beech is. Except her name's
not Lavinia and she's American.
And you've done nothing but show her
the back of your hand
since she got here.
That is absolutely not true.
My God, that is true.
Excuse me.
Miss... Miss... Miss...
Miss...
- Beech.
- Miss Beech. How delightful to see you.
Might I ask most humbly
if you have plans
for today and, if so,
can I feature in them?
I was actually just
on my way to see Kushal.
And is that, if so bold I might be,
for the purposes of
business or pleasure?
Both, really.
No offense, but I think in the end
the Supreme Quality will
just suit my mother perfectly.
Please, madam, I'll give you
a better room. One that's finished.
Sonny. I heard you were looking for me?
Room 6 will shortly be available.
- I'm in room 6.
- You are? She is?
A lot's been going on.
I'm sorry, no.
So, Mr. Chambers.
Could you hold on a sec, Miss Beech?
The great Mr. Chambers.
The great writer Mr. Chambers.
- Sure, if you like.
- I do not like, sir. I do not like one bit!
What did you wanna tell me?
To leave this hotel and never darken
its towels again.
- You lied, sir.
- He did not lie.
You pretended not to be
something you weren't.
There was an inspector.
It just wasn't him. It was that one.
Lavinia. Except that's
not your name, is it?
No. My name's Theresa.
I knew that I knew you.
You work for the competition.
- "Golden Years," right?
- Correct.
How did you know that?
It's his business to know.
And ours to know what he's up to.
Please explain.
She is a hotel inspector. Just not
the one that they were worried about.
That would be me.
I told you.
The nose knew.
While there are patterns we can study...
to mitigate the amplitude
of the extreme highs and lows...
that characterize any entrepreneurial
journey, they'll come anyway.
But don't let that stop you
because the highs...
like being here today with you all,
make everything worthwhile.
Just get in the game.
I'll see you in the bar. Thank you.
They were riveted.
Riveted, they were. No, really.
Thank you.
Laura's success continues, evidently.
Yes, I'm very proud of her.
It's a shame Douglas
couldn't be here to enjoy it.
What exactly is your job here?
Sourcing fabrics and liaising between
the merchants and
the company I work for.
Doesn't that just trip off the tongue.
Oh, it's easier to say than to do.
Well, you look as if you're handling it.
I must say, I admire
what you've made of yourself here.
Thank you.
There's only one thing puzzling me.
Douglas pleaded not guilty to adultery.
Why would that be?
Do you not fancy him?
Even when I could hardly stand the man,
I still found him rather attractive.
In some ways rather more so than Daniel.
Well, Douglas has one great advantage
over Daniel which is
that he actually exists.
Daniel exists.
- He does.
- Oh, if you say so.
I work in his office.
I've started doing clerical stuff,
Tuesdays and Thursdays...
just to keep the ends meeting.
Money doesn't stretch as far
in Reigate as in Rajasthan.
Daniel knows my name,
of course, we're a small team.
But he hasn't proposed,
I grant you that.
That's why I want the divorce.
I can hardly expect a man to want
to go out with me while I'm still married.
What do you suppose
we should do for our first date?
I'm too embarrassed to ask Laura.
A film? A shared experience.
Something to talk about afterwards.
Which will prevent
any possible awkwardness.
Oh, there won't be any awkwardness.
No, I don't suppose there will be.
There are some people into whose laps
the good things in life fall.
I'm not one of them.
Coming out here finally taught me that.
So, if the good things
won't come on their own,
I must make them.
And that's what I intend to do.
...given them roots and now they can...
Sonny and Sunaina's wonderful families
have given them roots and now...
- Sunaina?
- You can't come in.
I don't want you to see
the dress until Friday.
I need my clipboard.
You know the names of the guests.
Why do you need a clipboard?
It's just an excuse to come in.
I must apologize to you.
You apologized already.
I mean it more now.
And I promise you three things.
I promise I will properly rehearse
the wedding dance.
I promise I'll wear the turban
your mother chose for the ceremony.
And I promise I'll be a better
husband than fianc.
Good... because
you're a terrible fianc.
Listen to me.
If there is ever a time
in our life together when...
I find myself attracted to another man
or even confused a little,
I will always tell you.
And that way, you know that
I will never, ever act on it.
I don't find Kush attractive.
His ears are too close to his head.
I hoped you would find
his offer of a partnership...
more attractive.
But that is up to you.
Have you seen my other shoe, darling?
If you don't tell me what's been
the problem for the last few days,
I'll need it to kick you with.
Your shoe's under the bed.
And you're having an affair.
Oh, so it is. Wonderful.
I said I know you're sleeping
with someone else.
Of course I am, darling. Aren't you?
What about that twitchy
little witch at the club? Susan.
Obviously you've both been at it
like rabbits for weeks now.
No. I mean no!
Well, why not? What's been stopping you?
Well, you have.
What?
That's not fair.
Do you mean I didn't need to be
carrying on with any of these men?
There's more than one?
I am only out there
because I thought you were.
Look, I'm not "out" at all.
I couldn't be more "in."
You know, when we met...
you said you were lonely.
I was. It doesn't mean I was celibate.
I don't want to be
that lonely again, Norman.
Neither do I.
Mr. Norman Cousins and Miss Carol Parr.
Both here!
Miss Theresa Beech.
Present.
If no longer correct.
- Miss Madge Hardcastle.
- Here.
Mrs. Muriel Donnelly.
Just about.
Mr. Douglas Ainslie.
Learning my speech.
A couple of days, I'll be fine.
Mrs. Evelyn Greenslade.
Not back yet. Which is a surprise.
Mr. Guy Chambers.
Now whether you want
my good wishes or not...
you'll have them on your wedding day.
Thank you.
I don't care what you are.
I still would.
How will you rate us?
Not that it matters now, but...
what will the report say?
Shall I be frank?
A welcome change.
To say that...
there is huge room for improvement
in the running of this hotel...
would be to understate the surreally
haphazard nature of your operation.
Thank you... for your feedback.
But the fact that
you get away with it...
I mean, it's a testament to the...
to the reservoirs of affection
in which you're held
by the residents here.
No-one can put a price on that.
So, I would have said...
that with a new and better-equipped
facility like the Supreme Quality...
you would have had my endorsement.
Would have?
Well, I'm resigning.
My position is totally compromised here.
I see.
But you've got another inspector
right here.
I don't like the people she works for
but if that's the only game in town...
We've spoken already.
Her recommendation is also based upon
the acquisition of
the Supreme Quality Hotel.
Why don't you just do a deal with him?
If only for the sake
of your beautiful bride.
Right, well I'll be, I'll be staying
at the Viceroy until my plane leaves.
Could you... Would you please
tell your mother...
Would you please tell her
that I'm quitting my job?
What are you going to do?
Write my book.
She knows the story.
Mr. Chambers.
Allow me to offer you
a lift to the Viceroy Club.
Vikram's beautiful minibus awaits.
Please.
Good.
Careful. You'll never get back up again.
Well, you're still in one
slightly sagging piece, I see.
Barely. The plane was diverted
just before landing.
A cow on the runway. Not exactly
the way I always wanted to go.
Death by cow.
I suppose it would make people
sit up and take notice.
Yeah, I wouldn't want that.
I'd like everyone to turn around
one day and realize I've already gone.
Tell me about Mumbai.
Did you find your spine?
Well, I'm taking the job.
I thought I wouldn't. I thought...
"How many new lives can we have?"
And then I thought, "As many as we like."
While we can.
Be a lot of traveling.
How else could I come home afterwards?
You'd be missed.
You do know that? You must know that.
Anyway, Mrs. Greenslade,
the wedding is nearly upon us.
You got your glad rags ready?
I'm a bit nervous, actually.
It's a big day.
For all of us.
I never understood why anyone
would want to get married.
I barely found a bugger
I could spend a week with...
let alone a life.
But I've been looking forward to this.
And it turns out some things
really are worth the wait.
I'm not good with special occasions...
or the gifts that go with them.
So you'll have to make do
with this letter instead.
Written from the heart
to the children I never had.
I said at your party, I don't do advice.
I do opinions.
And my opinion of the groom is this:
he gets plenty wrong...
but never when it counts.
And when he's right...
My friends...
it is something to behold.
I must tell you, the reception cannot
take place at the Best
Exotic Marigold Hotel.
A bride as radiant as this one...
deserves a more splendid setting
for her wedding party...
and I have just the place.
Please, step into
Vikram's beautiful minibus.
And for those who are less close to it,
or just move slower...
you may use either
of his cousin's and together...
we shall ride to my new hotel!
- Don't look at me.
- No, no, no. Don't look at him.
Although, as the future unfolds,
perhaps we will also take the Supreme
Quality Hotel under our wing...
and my old friend
Kushal shall find himself
working but a short
distance beneath me...
such is the level
of my victorious magnanimity.
But for now, to your chariots!
And let us travel
to the new jewel in my crown!
The apple of my eye!
Let us travel to the pearl in my oyster!
No longer the Viceroy Club...
but my gift on her wedding day...
to the girl of my dreams,
where I will welcome you.
- Ladies and gentle gentlemen...
- Oh, yes.
...to the Second Best
Exotic Marigold Hotel!
That is for you! Come!
You see?
Ladies and Germs...
...I wonder if I could have
your attention just for a moment.
I have a few words I'd like to say:
I cannot rest from travel:
I will drink
Life to the lees
All times have I enjoyed greatly...
For always roaming with a hungry heart
Much have I seen and known;
I am a part of all that I have met;
Life piled on life Were all too little,
and of one to me
Little remains: but every hour is saved
From that eternal silence,
something more,
A bringer of new things.
A few words of Alfred, Lord Tennyson...
speaking to something which we all know,
and should never forget.
That every hour brings new things.
And Sonny and Sunaina
have today announced...
that they want to face those hours...
...those things, this life together.
...those things, this life together.
And it's a privilege to be able...
to send them on their way
in such remarkable style.
Actually, talking of style...
I had a fairytale wedding myself.
I had a fairy tale wedding myself.
Although mine was Grimm.
Pause for laugh.
Moving on...
The two things we can give
our children, it seems to me...
it seems to me, are roots and wings.
And Sonny and Sunaina's wonderful
families have given them roots...
- And now...
- ...they can take flight together.
Read this.
...and as they embark on this...
Vegetarian, non-vegetarian...
journey, um, yeah, uh...
journey on which we send them
with all our love...
and, and, and tremendous...
you know...
not obviously...
This is what the...
the young...
This is what the young
make us remember...
For this is what the young
make us remember...
that in the end...
that in the end, it's all very simple...
that all it takes is
to look into someone's eyes...
and say... "Yes...
"this is what I want."
And for them to reply...
"it's what I want, too...
"and there's nothing to be afraid of."
Evelyn and I would like
to wish the two of you...
all the love and luck in the world.
And so say all of us.
Sonny and Sunaina!
If you really want to try monogamy,
even though I think
it's for the young and very naive...
I suppose we could give it a go.
Norman?
You lied to me.
Well...
well, I'm not a hotel inspector anymore
and I am gonna write that book.
So, actually,
everything I said was true...
just a few days early, that's all.
What about your wife?
Well that, that was true already.
You were my first since my husband died.
You weren't the first.
But I think you could be the last.
Please...
come dance with me...
Chandrima.
Sonny told me.
I'm gonna kill that boy.
Thank you for coming.
You called.
Left or right, my lady?
Sorry?
When we reach the turning,
do you want to go left or right?
What do you do when you're faced
with a difficult decision?
I don't believe there is such a thing.
Throw a coin in the air and we
always know which side we want it to land.
Left or right, my lady?
Mrs. Donnelly?
Mrs. Donnelly?
Are you in there, madam?
Piss off back to your wedding.
I'm having a rest.
Yes. Of course. Sorry to disturb.
Did you forget your dancing shoes?
No, madam.
Then go and knock them dead.
Yes, madam.
- Sonny...
- I'm going. I'm going.
Is there no-one on reception?
I thought this was a hotel?
What are you doing here?
Checking on my investment.
You've come to the wrong place.
I don't think so.
I couldn't find you at the party.
How are you, Mrs. Donnelly?
Why did you come here, really?
To pay my respects to you.
There's nothing I admire more
than someone planting trees...
under whose shade
they may never get to sit.
Others will. That's what counts.
How long are you staying?
I fly tomorrow morning.
It's a punishing itinerary, I'm afraid.
In which of your hotels do you think
I should spend the night?
Second or the first?
I don't think you'll get
a lot of sleep over there.
I...
I have to deliver this...
then I'll check you in.
Thank you, Mrs. Donnelly.
I know you'll understand me
missing the reception...
and I hope you'll forgive me
for not coming to say goodbye.
Go and have the honeymoon you deserve.
I'm sure there'll be
somebody there to see you off.
Thank you.
There is no such thing as an ending.
Just a place where you leave the story.
And it's your story now.
I spent 40 years scrubbing floors...
and the last months of my life
as co-manager of a hotel...
halfway across the world.
You have no idea now
what you will become.
Don't try and control it.
Let go.
That's when the fun starts.
Because as I once heard someone say...
there's no present like the time.