|
The Brass Bottle (1964)
Mr. uh,
Harold Ventimore. He's in Mr. Beevor's office. Here I'll sign for it. Harold, the $40,000 price bracket houses are in drawer four. Take out any one of my sketches, change the trim, add a little gingerbread and they'll love it. Don't you think they're entitled to something a bit more original than that? Don't waste your effort. The average client no more wants an original house and he wants an original hat. Time you learned that. Oh, my kum-kum came Did you say kum-kum came? Kum-kum, that's what the auctioneer called it. It's spelled with a K, K-U-M K-U-M. My Kum-kum came. The ancient Arabians used these to carry rose water. Should come in handy if you plan to do much rose water carrying. It's a welcome home present for Sylvia's mother and father. I thought Professor Kenton was in Europe on a lecture tour. He was. But when Sylvia wrote that we were getting married, he cut it short. Naturally, caught the first jet plane home in a panic. Panic? Oh, no, I never thought of it in that tone of voice. Do you really expect this to impress a Professor of Egyptology? Yes. The Auctioneer said it's an authentic relic. Authentic my foot. These cheap reproductions are turned out by the thousands. Oh, no, not this one. You see, it's even got ancient hieroglyphics around the seal. Hmm, translated, they probably say "Made in Japan." He's here. I wish I weren't. Anthony, you promised. You know, every time I hear his name, I see him in that silly beret with that silly beard, painting those silly pictures. That was in Paris, Father, the beret and beard are gone forever. But he isn't. You're getting yourself all worked up, dear. You're beginning to twitch. Well, well, how can I help it? After all the fine young men that were interested in Sylvia, she has to fall in love with a crackpot. - Hi. - Hi. - Oh, what's that? - Surprise. Uh-- where did you get that lamp? That wasn't here last night. Well, there was a wonderful sale on Japanese imports at Sears. Well, what-- - Where's Harold? - Well, he was here. He's, uh, he's out there. I mean, uh, oh, here he is. Harold, how nice to see you again. - Thank you. - You come in. Welcome home, Mrs. Kenton, Professor Kenton. Young man, I flew 6,000 miles just to talk to you. - Father. - Anthony. Why didn't you just say no? Why did you let him talk you into it? I want our marriage to start off with everybody happy. Your folks can't be as long as they've got any doubts about me. Are you sure you aren't the one who has doubts? Me? Well, now whatever put a silly thought like that in your mind? Well, ever since the Jenkses came back from Paris and you moved them into your home, all I've been hearing about is the fun you used to have. The crazy scavenger hunts in the Louvre and the-- the barge you bought and used for parties with everybody swimming in the Seine at 3:00 in the morning. Are you sure you aren't going to miss all that? Of course not. We have... Disneyland. I'm sorry I had to ring. I forgot my key. No trouble, darling. Hazel, come back. How's it going, Seymour? I don't know. I'm not finished. Now, I'm finished. Oh, you have done it this time. You have captured the real me. We have cause to celebrate. I have a feeling that the first genuine Anatole will found a new school. Who's Anatole? I finally figured out why none of my masterpieces have ever sold. My name, Seymour Jenks, it's not artistic. From now on, it's Anatole. Yes, yes. Oh, how nice, Sylvia's parents brought you a wedding present. No, I-- I'm just going to make a Japanese lamp. Seymour, could you lend me your hammer and chisel? Between us, my friend, it's share and share alike. You share your home with us, and in return, all our worldly goods we share with you. Thanks. What date did the Kentons set for the wedding? They didn't. They made us postpone it a few months. How wonderful, Harold, now we all have cause to celebrate. Me because of my masterpiece, you because of your reprieve. Let's go out on the town. I don't think I'd be very good company. You go without me. Take the keys to the car. Better take the credit card. Have fun, kids. What happened? What's burning? Seymour? You're not Seymour. Who are you? What are you doing here? What are you dressed up for? Hey? What is this another one of Seymour's gags? Well, why don't you say something? Thy tongue is as strange to me as is thy appearance, oh, beardless one. I took the moment to learn to speak it. Very funny Seymour and his dumb gags. How'd you get in here anyway? In that, as though indeed must surely know since it was thy hand that removed the seal. Oh, cut out that silly double-talk, you're not even any good at it. I was but expressing my gratitude for my release from the brass bottle. Know, oh, best of mankind, that I am Fakrash-el-Amash, one of the Green Jinn. The Green what? Surely thou has knowledge of the Jinn? Oh, surely, you're a genie like the one in Aladdin's lamp. That explains how you fit into the brass bottle. - Even so. - Uh-hmm. All right. Come on, how much is Seymour paying you for this corny act? I have no knowledge of such a one. It was King Suleyman the Great. Son of Daood, who imprisoned me. You mean, King Solomon? Yay. Solomon is Suleyman and Suleyman is Solomon. Um, let's go talk to Seymour, shall we? He's a big King Solomon fan. Nay, what I have to relate is for thy ears alone. Know, oh, young man of kindness and noble deeds, that I had a kinswoman of such surpassing beauty that King Suleyman took her as wife 1001. And it came to pass that a certain Jarjarees, son of Rejmoos, informed the king that she was my beloved and not my kinswoman. Well, that was a pretty dirty trick. The great Suleyman, on whom be peace, was angered and commanded that I be imprisoned in that bottle and cast into the sea, there to abide the day of doom. If I were to serve thee a thousand years, I could not requite thee for my deliverance. Don't mention it. Excuse me. Operator, get me the police instantly. I don't know if he's violent. Get here before I find out. All right, I'll stall him. But send the nearest patrol car in a hurry. You'll find the key is wrapped in a handkerchief on the front walk. Hurry. Wondrous changes have taken place in the centuries I have been imprisoned. Most remarkable. And what manner of creature abide in these diminutive edifices? Those are models of homes. I'm an architect. Ah, a useful calling. Perhaps thou has heard of a friend of mine, Mubarak, Son of Asnam? He designed tombs in the land of Egypt. Triangular ones. But no, that was centuries ago. Ah. And this is thy honored name, Harold Ventimore? - Yes. - Son of? My mother and father. Truly thou must be an architect of remarkable repute. No, I'm afraid not. So far, I haven't been able to land a single client of my own. Client? What is this client of which thou speakest? Oh, anybody who wants a house built, or an office building, or even a gas station. - Gas station? - Uh-hmm. A station that sells gas and oil. Oil? For lighting or anointing? For automobiles. And don't ask what an automobile is. You're going to be riding in one in one minute. Up here, officers. Right in here. Where is he? Where'd he go? He was here. The window. Even Tarzan couldn't get out this way. Out or in. Mr. Ventimore, when you left for Paris six years ago, we threw a big wing-ding down at the precinct. We figured au revoir, he's the problem of the gendarmes now. Why did you have to come back? I swear to you, there was a lunatic in this room. There still is. I don't know how he got out. For that matter, I don't even know how he got in. All I know is that when I opened my eyes, there he was. What do you mean when you opened your eyes? Well, I had this slight accident. I-- I bumped my head. All right, Joe, let's get out of here. I'm starving, Harold. Why can't you just tell Mr. Beevor we're going to lunch? He doesn't like to be disturbed when he's with a client. And he's waiting to see this sketch. May I help you? - Uh, yes. I-- I'm looking for Mr. Ventimore. That's me. Oh, well, my name is Wackerbath. - Samuel Wackerbath? - Uh, yes. I-- I-- I'm planning a-- a new development, Wackerbath City. Yes, I know all about it. I-- I read about it in the papers. Well, I'd like to discuss it with you if you're available. Me? Available? I think you've made a mistake. You want Mr. Beevor. He's-- he's right next door. Let me just see if I can get his secretary. Uh, this is your card, isn't it? - Yes. - Well, Mr. Ventimore, I have decided that you are the man to design Wackerbath City. Oh, please excuse me, gentlemen. You, uh, evidently have business to discuss. Mr. Wackerbath, may I present my fiancee, Ms. Kenton. - How do you do? How do you do? I'll be waiting at the restaurant. And, uh, you don't have to hurry. Excuse me. Well, won't you sit down? Well, only for a moment. Thank you. Which of my drawings impressed you the most, sir? Well, it was, uh, it-- it was, uh, well, I-- I-- I can't remember. What's the difference? Uh, we'll start off with several designs for medium-priced dwellings. My general manager MacDougall will fill you in on all the details. Yes, sir. Uh, we'll consider this a retainer. Uh, good day, Mr., um, Ventimore. You won't be sorry, Mr. Wackerbath, I promise you. I just remembered. I have a Board of Directors. They'll want to meet you. Well, I'll arrange it and phone you. Uh, goodbye, Mr., uh... Ms. Glidden, when Mr. Beevor is through in there, tell him I've taken the rest of the day off. Mr. Ventimore, you've been drinking. Then, after he blows his stack, show him that. Samuel Wackerbath? Wants me to do Wackerbath City. Mr. Fakrash? Thou art surprised to see me? Yes. No. I-- yes. You're real. You're not a bump on the head. I-- I thought you were just, how-- how did you get out of my apartment? Since last thou beheld me, oh meritorious one, I have journeyed far. First to Jerusalem. - Jerusalem? Yeah, verily. To seek audience with Suleyman the Great. Well, it's-- it's fun looking up old friends, I always say. I intended to throw myself at his feet and beg his forgiveness, but alas, King Suleyman's temple is no more. And Suleyman himself is dust. May he rest in peace. Well, you've got to expect those things, especially after 3000 years. And Jerusalem is changed. So changed I knew it not. And this will surprise thee, Babylon and Ninevah gone. - That is news. - Uh-hmm. Mr. Fakrash, there's someone I want you to meet. Gladly. Gladly, if he be friend of thine. Now, don't misunderstand, but you're a sick man. I want you to come downstairs with me. There's a psychiatrist in this building. Ah, there is doubt in thy mind that I am truly an Efreet of the Green Jinn. Not in the least. We'll discuss it some other time. I'm in a hurry now. I have to meet my girl. I'll drop you off on the way. Doubt no longer, oh best of mankind. Behold. Mr. Fakrash. What sayest thou now? It's hypnosis. It's got to be. Partake. Figs from the Valley of the Nile. Dates from Samarkand. Um... you're a professional magician, aren't you? Yeah, I've seen an act like yours in a night club. A fellow made rabbits appear and birds. Even goldfish in a bowl. Huh? Either that or I'm dreaming. And was the client I sent thee also a dream? Client? You sent Mr. Wackerbath? Yeah, verily. I and no other. But he said he-- he said he saw my work. He said he liked it. Naturally... I placed the thought in his mind. Ah, then he never saw my drawings. Thou art displeased. Say no more. I will undo the affair and devise other means of serving thee. No. I'm sure Mr. Wackerbath will like my work. This is the chance I've been waiting for. And I'm very grateful to you for giving it to me. It is naught, oh young man of excellence, to the services I shall henceforth render thee. Harold, I just called Wackerbath's office to check up on this. Did he sound all right? What did he say? I wasn't able to get through to him, but his secretary verified it. It's true. Well, why wouldn't it be true? I didn't know you even knew Samuel Wackerbath. I didn't, until today. You mean he just dropped in out of the blue? In a manner of speaking, yes. Expect me to believe that? Don't you? Ventimore, I took you in when nobody else would have you. Gave you a chance. And all this time, you've been working behind my back. Oh, no, sir, that's not true. Then why didn't you send Wackerbath in to me? He didn't ask for you. Oh, I suppose he asked for you. Yes, he did. But this doesn't mean I'm leaving the firm. It doesn't? I'm going to lunch. By the time I get back, I want you out of this office permanently. Sometimes, I wish you'd-- Thy wish shall be fulfilled. In another moment, he shall depart this life. What? It is but a slight undertaking. Undertaking? What are you talking about? Even as we speak, the misbegotten dog approacheth the precipice. He shall descend like a bolt of lightning-- ka-chung-- into the bowels of the earth. Oh, no. Mr. Beevor, hold it. Stop. How'd you know the elevator wouldn't be there? When I came in this morning, it wasn't working. Why didn't you tell me? Tell somebody. People might have been killed. Wackerbath can have you. I'm glad to be rid of you. Look. Mr. Fakrash, in this century, we don't go around killing people, not even people like Mr. Beevor. Why not? Thy enemies are now my enemies. He who offends thee, offends me. We have a law against killing. We call it murder. Frankly, Mr. Fakrash, you're beginning to worry me. Why, I thought I heard you talking to someone. Hmm, yes, uh, uh, I was on the telephone. I was trying to reach Sylvia. Would you, uh, would you call the restaurant and tell her I'm on my way? - Of course. And Mr. Ventimore, when you open your own office, I'd be delighted to come and work for you. Oh, I'd be delighted to have you, Ms. Glidden. Mr. Fakrash, you've got to stop popping in and out of places. I could not leave thee on an angry note, my son. Love for thee hath entered my heart. Now, you see what you've done? Do they follow to do thee evil? They follow to do me a $20 fine. Despair not. The Philistines and their chariots shall be destroyed. They're not Philistines and those aren't chariots and don't you go destroying them. On the heart and on the head be thy wish. No harm shall come to them. Pretty cute, Mr. Farkash. Thanks. I have pleased thee? It is well. Verily, I like your century. This mode of transport is swifter than the fleetest camel and smoother than a flying carpet. Where are we going? Mr. Fakrash, uh, you won't be offended if I speak freely? Thou offend me? Reveal thy heart. Well, I'm meeting my fiance for lunch. I'd like to have you come with me, but, uh, I can't. Why not? Well, let's face it. How do I explain you? What meanest though? Explain me. Well, you don't belong in this century. The way you dress, the things you do. How can I say to Sylvia or to anyone? I want you to meet my friend, Mr. Fakrash. He's a genie. He's been living in a brass bottle the past few thousand years. They'd all think I was crazy. Thy wisdom is hardly inferior to that of the great King Suleyman. May he rest in peace. Very well. I shall leave thee for a time to study the ways of thy century. Until I return, I shall watch over thee. Well, wait, wait, don't disappear in front of people. Wait until I stop the car, then you can get out, walk away, step into a doorway or down an alley, and in that way, nobody will be able to see you. We're in luck. Hey, mister. Hey, mister. I was here first. Hey, buddy. Hey. Hey. He has angered thee, wouldst have me-- - No, no. I wouldst not. How many times do I have to tell you? I seek only to serve. Farewell, my son. Until next we meet. Mis-- Mr. Fakrash, uh, this is a trivial thing to bother you with, but I'm in a hurry. Do you, uh, well, could you, uh, could you move this thing over there? It is well. So be it. Allah be praised. We have struck a well. Run, Mr. Fakrash. Beat it, beat it. Harold, what happened? Bad plumbing. Let's use your car. Mine's a bathtub. - Oh, well, you aren't just gonna leave it there? We'll come back for it when they turn off the water. We've got a busy afternoon ahead of us. First thing we've got to find me a new office. Harold, you were fired? Wait till you hear what happened with Mr. Wackerbath. Mr. Ventimore, I've been cooking for people in this neighborhood for 15 years, and I think I can manage a simple dinner without the help of those two in there. Would you please get them out of my hair? - Seymour. - I must say, if I were entertaining my girl's folks for the first time, I'd worry about those two. I'm worried. Well-- well, what is this? Even if the Kenton's don't drink, we do. - Oh, no. - Besides, this is a fine chance to show off your fancy French crystal. Now, that's the last thing I wanna do. I don't want anything to remind Professor Kenton of Paris. Anything or anybody. Well, it doesn't make sense to me, but if that's the way you want it, okay. I know what. You were going to the races. Take my car then you can make the first race. Making your party a smash is much more important than the first race. Oh, we have the menu all worked out. After the snails, a Petite Marmite, and-- and then the-- - Hazel, Mrs. McGruder has the menu all set. First, cream of tomato soup, right, Mr. Ventimore? - Right. - Then a tossed green salad. And next the fried chicken. You didn't say what vegetables you want with the chicken. Oh, peas, carrots-- camels. - Camels? - Camels. Oh, no. Oh, no. He didn't. Oh, no. Oh, and you were worried. Our old Harold is back again. This party is gonna be a blast. Oh, no. No. Oh, for Pete's sake, get up. This is not Baghdad. It's Pasadena. These gifts are thine by command of our lord, the last son of the believing Jinn, Fakrash-Al-Amash. Where is the son of the believing Jinn? This I know not. Well, find him and take these gifts back to him. Oh, most highly-born one, we dare not disobey our master. These are thine and we are thine. No, no. No. No, bring those-- make them bring those back. Come back with those. Come back with those. Welcome back to the living, Harold. What an inspiration. Camels. Oh, you must have tied on a beaut last night. - Please. - Where did you find them? Stay out of this, I beg of you. Uh, uh, uh, uh, company. Well, well, well. Laughing boy strikes again. - Hi. - And what bit of deviltry has the Pasadena Pixie planned this time? A carnival on Acacia Street or Camel Races in the Rose Bowl? I swear to you, officers, I have never seen those camels before in my life. You don't have to make excuses. It's not a crime to buy camels, drunk or sober. So, they're not yours, wise guy? Well, uh-- well-- only in a manner of speaking. You see, uh, there's this big camel sale, and I, uh-- no, no. Actually, I was in the market for a camel's hair coat and they sent these samples by for me to pick one. Start writing, Joe. First, interfering with traffic. Second, get those things out of the street now. Yes. Yes, sir. I will. Get the-- get the car out of the garage. Do you see those two men in uniform? They are official executioners. If you don't move that caravan at once, they will boil you in oil. Oh, where can we go, oh, master of mercy and benevolence? Back there, it's a four-camel garage. Fifth, putting on a circus without a license. Officer, I-- I can explain this whole thing. - Yes? - Nah, forget it. I don't think I can explain the explanation. Well, maybe your lawyer will think of something. Sign here. All right, folks, the show's over. Come on, break it up. I'm sorry. Hazel finally figured out why you wanted to get rid of us. You wanted to surprise us with this. And we spoiled it. I was telling those policemen the truth. I never saw those camels before I looked out the window. You mean you don't remember seeing them. Seymour, how long have you known me? Since the fifth grade. We've played a lot of gags on each other but I've never lied to you, have I? If you did, I never caught you. Remember the brass bottle I brought home? Uh-hmm. What would you say if I told you that when I opened it, a genie popped out? I'd say, A, you're playing games, B, you're crazy, or C, if I don't leave now, I'm gonna miss the first race. See you at dinner. Mr. Ventimore, there's a gentleman here to see you. - I don't wanna see anyone. - It's a Mr. Fakrash. I don't care who-- now, what are you up to? You need no longer fear I'll embarrass you. Since I'm to live in your century, I expect to look and speak as if I belong in it. Did you notice? I came in through the door. You approve? Perhaps you prefer it in blue? Or maybe brown? No. The only hocus-pocus I want from you is to get that crazy caravan out of my garage. It seems I have no yet found the way to please you. As you like. And while you're at it, get rid of this junk, too. Junk? I have already learned that in your century, success is measured by wealth. Holy Toledo. You robbed Fort Knox. I robbed nobody. I make my own gold. What a handy hobby. We can't use it nowadays. It's against the law to own gold bullion in the United States. Oh, you can keep this one. Jewels. Rubies the size of pigeon eggs, diamonds... - Forget it, forget it. Men don't wear jewels like that nowadays. - Then sell them. - I can't. The police would wanna know where I got them. The County Tax Assessor would figure I'd been hiding them. The Customs Department would figure I smuggled them. And then there's the Federal Gift Tax and the Luxury Tax, a whole lot of things like that. In King Solomon's time, we had no such problem. Gold and jewels were the same as money. Nowadays we use paper money. Like this. You mean this has value? It's a $10 bill. Wow. Hmm. That's me. I find it a good likeness, don't you? Yes. Oh, but you see, Alexander Hamilton's picture is on a $10 bill. Huh. Oh, very well, if you insist. Let it be King Hamilton. - How do you like it? - It's perfect. Wait a second. What am I thinking? This is worse than making gold. This is counterfeiting. Counterfeiting? Only the Federal Government has the right to make money. Why? Because that-- that's the way it's done. That's all. And they frown on do-it-yourself kits. Try to understand. If people could go around making their own currency, the economy of the whole country would collapse. No matter how I try, whatever I do for you, I must undo. I've accomplished nothing for you. No, that's not true, Mr. Fakrash. Thanks to you, everything is going great. I'm meeting with Mr. Wackerbath's Board of Directors tomorrow morning to get the official go ahead. And tonight, the Kentons are coming over for dinner. Now that I've got the Wackerbath account, the wedding bells are practically ringing. Then I have made you happy, my son? Very happy. No? There is one thing. The Jenkses downstairs, they're my best friends, but-- well, at dinner tonight... I understand. They would be in the way. I've tried to tell them, but they're very sensitive, and I can't stand to make them unhappy. Have no concern. They will not be at dinner and they will be happy. It delights me, my son, to free you of this little problem. Before you go, Mr. Fakrash, I'd like to see how you look in brown. Wonderful. It makes you look 10 years younger. Centuries younger. Come in. Where have you got those camels stashed away? We got the Health Officer downstairs. Gentlemen, I was just about to call you. Some dirty crook stole them from my garage. Put that in your report, officer. I must get to my office. Is Mister-- Harold. - Seymour. - Here's the car key. We haven't got much time. We've got to catch a plane. - Where are you going? - Back to Paris, for good. Boy, did we have a day at the races. Eight times they gave us the wrong tickets and eight times they paid off. After the fourth race, we just let everything ride. It was like magic. I'll bet it was. Harold, you're not sore at us because we're running out on you? Oh, no. No. Au revoir, mon ami. Oh, I-- I almost forgot, we left you a wedding present. The statue of Hazel. Ah, thanks. Good luck, Seymour. Anatole. Anatole. So long. Thank you, Mr. Fakrash, wherever you are. It's almost 7:00, Mr. Ventimore. You're gonna be late for your own dinner party. Holy Toledo. This-- let all this go. All right. - Good night, Ms. Glidden. - Good night. It's about time you got here. My money, please. Money? Where are you going? The Kentons will be here any minute. What about dinner? You can let your heathen caterers worry about that. Caterers? My money. If you didn't trust me to handle your dinner, you should've said so. Open up. Let me in. Open up. What in the-- who-- who are you? - I am thy Seneschal, O shining beacon of mankind. What's a Seneschal? I have prepared the repast for thee and thy honored guests. Where is he? Where is he? This time he's gone too far. It's the Kentons. I shall bid them welcome in thy name. No, wait. Wait. Come back. I got to get rid of these. Papa, you're not smiling. Oh, I'm smiling. I'm happy. After all, I'm not losing a daughter. I'm gaining a-- heaven knows what. The only thing troubling your father is he hates to admit he was wrong about Harold. Welcome, O nobly born. Enter and share the salt of my master. Is this Harold's idea of a joke? Well, I don't know. I... Please, go. I don't need any slaves. Up. Up. You're all free. Abraham Lincoln arranged it. Oh, how nice. So good of you to come. This your idea of a simple little dinner? Well, I'm afraid the caterer got carried away. I happened to mention that you were an authority on ancient cultures and... Well, I think it's very clever of Harold. Don't you, Papa? - I do not. I think it's a ridiculous waste of money. Oh, it's not costing a penny extra. They're throwing in the decorations free. Good will, you know. - Decorations? This is the most beautiful silk brocade I've ever seen. - Yes, yes, uh-hmm. - Which caterer is it? Uh, Fakrash-el-Aamash. Enough, enough, enough I said. Isn't that touching? They're crazy about their boss. He pays them over scale. Up, fellas, up. You can get up now. You've paid your respects to Fakrash. Enough. Enough. - Yalla. - Yalla. What devotion, huh? It's refreshing to see loyalty like that nowadays. Well, shall we go into the dining room? Um, where is the dining room? It's, um, I think this is it. You don't appear to be quite sure. Well, I leave those details up to the caterers. Wherever they decide. Sometimes in one place, sometimes in another. There's a great deal of charm in uncertainty I always say. Well, don't say that in front of Samuel Wackerbath or you'll be right back where you were. Yes. No, no. Yes. Well, boy, girl, boy, girl, huh? There we are. Young man, I have a bad sacroiliac, and I'm not being the least bit facetious when I tell you that your sense of humor gives me a pain in the back. Oh, Anthony, your back hasn't bothered you in years. Besides, you're always complaining about stiff, formal dinners. I think this is fun. Saints in heaven. What's that? Surely they don't mean that for music. Oh, no, actually, it-- it's much more harmonious than it sounds. You've got to get used to it. See? They were just tuning up. Harold, what is it they're sprinkling? I don't know. Oh, Seneschal. - Seneschal? That's his name. Sam Seneschal. Yes, master? Oh, what is that fragrance, Sam? Myrrh and frankincense, O lord. Hmm, it's exotic, isn't it? Well, I think it's sickening, particularly at mealtime. Please open the window. Even smog is preferable to this. Mrs. Kenton: What is that? A rare Phoenician delicacy, O nobly born. The eyes of mountain lambs cooked in honey. Anthony, they're staring at me. I think I'm gonna be ill. Also from the caterer? Yes. Actually, she does this to support an invalid aunt. I have had enough of this. Let's get out of here. Please, Professor Kenton. Mrs. Kenton. Please, Sylvia. The least you can do is let me explain. Very well. Go ahead. I didn't do this. He did. Who did? I can't tell you. All this outrageous nonsense had to be deliberate. Well, you've succeeded. You've convinced me you haven't changed a bit. If anything, you're worse. Papa, I'm going to Europe with you and Mama. Please, Sylvia. Wait. Please, Sylvia. Please. Leave her alone. It's time she came to her senses. I've got nothing to lose. I'll tell you. With your knowledge of oriental history, you just might believe it. Believe what? Professor, the other day I bought an old brass bottle, like the lamp in your front hall, only older. There was strange writing on the seal. I forced it open. Go on. Well, there was a genie in it. A genie? Like the one out of Aladdin's lamp? Sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? I always thought they were fairy tales. - And you don't now? - Well, how can I when just like that he turned this whole place into a sultan's palace? I always thought you were eccentric. But yours, Mr. Ventimore, is a sad, sad case. Ahh. Oh, so now you show up? Delicious. Try one, Harold. The first lamb's eye I've eaten in 3,000 years. Where were you when I needed you? I'm afraid your guests were most unappreciative. I arranged a dinner to please a caliph. Unfortunately, I wasn't entertaining a caliph. And those slaves. That Seneschal. What slaves? What Seneschal? Why didn't you ask me before you arrange this Arabian nightmare? Be grateful. It's the best thing that could've happened, getting rid of that stupid man and his family. I didn't want to get rid of Sylvia. Ahh. Peacock tongues in oil of sesame. I'll admit Ms. Kenton is not without a charm, but she is no comparison to the beauties who adorned the Court of King Solomon. Say the word, and I'll bring you a hundred wives to replace her. Don't be ridiculous. Fifty? Not even two. It's against the law for a man to have more than one wife. A revolting waste of man power. Very well, since there can only be one, she must be the best of all. You shall marry a princess of the Jinn. I'm not going to marry anyone but Sylvia. Tezra-el-Jamal, daughter of my distant kinsman, Shahyal. Ruler of the Blue Jinn. It was because of the princess that King Solomon imprisoned me in the bottle. I wish you were still in it. Tezra, lovelier than the full moon and graceful as a gazelle. When she walks, the branches of the willow turn green with envy. Didst thou summon me, O My lord, Fakrash-el-Aamash? Yeah, Tezra. Too long have we been separated. Verily, it seemeth a hundred years. It was 3,000. And greatly has the world changed, Tezra. But I have assured thy happiness. I have chosen for thee to wed a mortal, but the best of mortals. A prince among princes. A man of such magnificence, his brilliance makes the sand turn pale in comparison. He stands tall and straight like the cedars of Lebanon and has the heart of a lion. And when he walks, the ground trembles and the mighty oak turns green with envy. Behold, Tezra. Ask of me what thou wilt, O master. I don't wilt anything. Please get up, Miss. Look at her, my boy. The eyes, the lips, the skin, and the figure. The figure, Harold. Turn around, Tezra. Slowly. Slowly. Well, what do you say, my boy? I'll take Sylvia. We of the Green Jinn have infinite patience, but-- but mine is wearing a little thin. So is mine. I didn't ask you to bring her here. Please don't misunderstand, Miss. You-- you're very lovely, but I happen to be in love with somebody else. Then pray, may I grace thy harem as one of thy lesser favorites. I don't have a harem. They have a strange custom these days, Tezra. One wife to a man. Verily. It took us 3,000 years, but we have prevailed. I shall find this changed world most pleasing. Another time perhaps, Tezra. Now thou shall depart and await my next summon. Depart, Tezra. Farewell. Depart, Tezra. Go, I say. I refuse. You can't refuse. I am an Efreet of the Green Jinn. And I'm a princess of the Blue Jinn. I have no wish to depart. Thy power is no match for mine. Oh, great. You wanted to give me a hundred like that? Perhaps thy century is wiser. Tezra, I beg of you... - No. Then I shall go. She is thine, my son. Mine? No. Wait, Mr. Fak-- Mr. Fakrash. Mr. Fakrash. Mr. Fakrash. Have no fear, he will return. - When? - Who knows? Mayhap in another 3,000 years. What am I supposed to do with you in the meantime? Come. Sit beside me. Perhaps I can help you think of something. No. You-- uh, you'd better go to a hotel. If that be thy desire, O master, tell me what is a hotel and I will go there. On second thought, I'll go to a hotel. In that outfit, you'd be picked up in a minute by the police. Lock the door and don't let anyone in. And whatever you do, don't go out. I'll be back in the morning with some clothes for you. What size are you? - Size? Can the females of today truly walk in these? Yes. Don't ask me how. Ooh. This is wondrously beautiful. I shall enjoy being a woman in thy century, master. I am not thy master. My name is Harold. What is that? It's a girdle. - It is worn? - Yes. But how? Well, you just step into it and... It is too small. No. It stretches. See? You just put your feet through it. Uh, and wiggle up in it as best as you can. I see that art not unacquainted with such matters. Well, how else would you get into it? There's somebody at the door. I hope you'll be tactful, Dr. Travisley. Ms. Kenton, the first thing a psycho-analyst learns is tact. - Sylvia. - Harold, this is Dr. Travisley. May we come in? - Yes. - Darling, after what father told me, I couldn't sleep all night. I discussed it with the doctor and he-- he wants to talk to you. - What about? - About that-- that delusion you've been having about a genie. - I don't have any delusion. - Mr. Ventimore, why don't we go upstairs and have a nice quiet chat? No, no. There's nothing wrong with me. Oh, I'm sure it's just temporary, darling. - Of course, it is. - Look. Get this straight. There is a genie. His name is Fakrash. He came out of a bottle. - Furthermore... - Harold. What shall I do with this? I supposed she's a genie, too? Yes, she is. She's a Blue Jinn. Mr. Fakrash is a Green Jinn. He produced her out of a puff of smoke. I'm sorry to have troubled you, doctor. There's nothing wrong with him. Nothing that requires a psychiatrist. Sylvia, at least talk to her. She can explain the whole thing. Tezra. Tezra, come down here, quick. Sylvia. Mr. Wackerbath. At least you remember my name. Mr. Ventimore, my Board of Directors and I have been waiting for you since 10:00. I just completely forgot. I don't wonder. It seems your other interest are more important than your work. Oh, no, Mr. Wackerbath, I take a solemn oath... If you have any integrity at all, which I doubt, you will return my retainer. Back to my office please. We couldn't reach you by phone. They said it was out of order. You sure had me fooled. What are you doing? I am summoning Fakrash-el-Aamash. He alone can help thee. Nobody can help me. I wish I were dead. Who speaks of death when there is so much joy in living? Why wert thou so long, my Lord? After your behavior last night, I was of a mind not to come at all. But I have decided to be magnanimous. What's troubling him? - Thou. - I? Yes. Thou. And my troubles won't be over until I get you back in that bottle somehow. This you shall never do. It cannot be sealed again without the Seal of Solomon. And that I have destroyed. At least get out of my life. You've been nothing but a headache since I first laid eyes on you. Very well. Come, Tezra. Farewell, Harold. I shall truly miss thee. Farewell, Tezra. Should you ever need me, call and I will answer. I will never call you as long as I live. - Mr. Fakrash? - Did you call? Oh. Will you please turn this place back the way it was? Thank you. Tezra awaits me. Don't go, Mr. Fakrash, you're the only one who can help me. Losing Mr. Wackerbath isn't important, but losing Sylvia is. She and her parents think I'm cracked. You're the only one who can convince them that you really are a genie. It shall be taken care of at once. Come to the Kenton home within the hour. And all will be well. How dare he send you here? Well, sir, I have nothing to say to you and I have nothing to say to him. Good day, sir. Very well. Then, please let me speak with your daughter. She is not in. Now, will you please just get out? Professor Kenton, you're wrong about Harold. He's a fine, temperate, young man. He is a crackpot. And I have no intention of allowing my daughter to become involved with him. Sir, I am the genie of whom he spoke. You see, he liberated me from the brass bottle and-- How much is he paying you to put on this ridiculous act? Hmm? Or as you crazy as he is? Thou dearest address and Efreet of the Green Jinn in such a fashion? Efreet my foot. Now, you get out of here. Get out of here, I say. I warn thee, provoke me not. Oh, out. Contemptible one, thou hast sealed thy fate. Oh. Since thou art stubborn as a mule, then thou shalt become one. Anthony? Anthony, are you in there? It sounds like he's knocking over the furniture. Oh, no. Not after all these years. What is it, mother? Well, can't you guess? He's been drinking. Father? He never drinks. He doesn't dare. Two drinks and he just goes berserk. Oh, you should have seen him after the champagne at our wedding. But, of course, you couldn't have. He promised me he'd never again-- oh, Anthony. Please open the door. Anthony? - Hi. - What are you doing here? - Weren't you expecting me? - I thought I made it clear, I never want to see you again. - Oh, no, no, no, no, no. - Sylvia, Sylvia. - No, maybe-- maybe he can help us. Anthony has locked himself in the study and we can't open the door. Well, is he still with-- is he alone? We don't know. We just got home. Wow. Any other entrance? Only the windows. Oh, dear. I shouldn't let Harold of all people see your father in his present condition. Oh, no, no, whoa, whoa, please. Hey, hey. Harold, are you in there? I'm here, but-- but Professor Kenton isn't. Just a dirty old mule. Aah. - Did he say mule? On our wedding night, he brought home a goat. Hey, whoa, whoa. Oh, no, you couldn't be. He wouldn't dare. Professor Kenton? If you are Professor Kenton, would you-- would you kindly signify by wiggling your ears? Oh, believe me, sir, I had no idea. Oh, oh, oh, whoa, please, whoa, please, whoa, steady boy. I mean-- I mean, I beg you to take it easy, sir. I'm sure you're convinced now that Mr. Fakrash is a genie. Ah, sir, ouch, oh, that hurts. Oh, oh, ouch. Whoa, professor, if you kill me, you'll destroy the only person who can get you out of this ridiculous situation. Whoa. We'll go over to my place and wait for Mr. Fakrash. I'm certain I can talk him into changing you back. Oh, sir, that's hardly necessary, I'm glad to help all I can. May I make one suggestion? Don't twitch in front of your wife and daughter. They're apt to recognize you, okay? Come on. All right? - Where's father? - Oh, get that filthy beast out of here. - I'm sorry. I'm sorry, don't worry, I'll find him, I'll bring him home. I know this isn't the way to my house, Professor, but the car won't turn any way I turn it. It's that crazy Fakrash. I can't make it stop. Fakrash! Oh, no, Mr. Fakrash! Oh. Mr. Fakrash is having fun. What're you gonna do, huh? Come and join me, Harold. I know you haven't had lunch. Cold chicken, cold cuts-- And a cold, inhuman monster. Not at all. I even have hay and alfalfa for your friend. There's nothing funny in what you did to Professor Kenton. I want him changed back now. Wisely has it been written, first things first. That's not wisely written anyplace, you just made that up. What does that it matter? Look around you, my boy. What do you think of it? - What do I think of what? Can you picture a more lovely setting for your beautiful homes? Select the design you wish and 3,000 houses will appear before your eyes, an entire city. You can't put up houses like that. Oh, yes, I can, with one wave of my hand. Listen, Mr. Fakrash, you don't own this land. And even if you did, you can't build on it without a building permit. Then detailed plans have to be drawn up, then the Building Inspectors have to okay them, then they have to approve every step of the work, foundation, plumbing, electrical. Furthermore, all materials must be union made and all work must be done by union labor. When the Pharaohs put up the pyramids, they had no such problems. In those days-- - These aren't those days, they're these days. There is no room for magic now. Everything must be done legitimately today. I promise. From now on, you shall tell me what to do, where to buy the land, how to build the houses-- There will be no from now on. All I ask is that you change Professor Kenton back to normal, then I want nothing further to do with you, ever. I have taken oath to reward thee. And thou shalt be rewarded in spite of thyself. I have a proposition for thee. When you start with that thee-and-thou talk, I smell trouble. What proposition? You and I enter into partnership. Fakrash and Ventimore. Real estate. Go into business with you? Not if you were the last genie on Earth. Then, turn the Professor out to graze. You've just doomed him to be a jackass the rest of his life. Oh, that's blackmail. True. Doesn't it shame you the things you make me do to help you? The answer is still no. I'm sorry, Professor, I just can't. Please don't look at me like that. May-- maybe we'll find some other way of changing you back. Maybe an African witch doctor or plastic surgery? Hmm? Oh, all right, you win. A wise decision. It will make you rich and famous. As for thee O thou of hideous aspect, thy present appearance is much more suited to thy nature. But return to thy former state and let all of this be erased forever from thy mind. Professor Kenton is now approaching his front door step. Oh, I wanted to take him home, I promised. Besides, I wanted to see Sylvia once more. She's leaving for Europe in a few hours. Look into my eye. They will have to sober him up quickly if they expect to get to the airport on time. Why'd you have to send him home drunk? Well, he deserved some kind of punishment. And besides, they expected to find him in that condition. Behold, Partner! Never has Los Angeles witnessed anything like this. Ever since the morning newspapers hit the street, thousands of people have swarmed into Ventimore City paralyzing-- Mr. Fakrash, I'd like an explanation of this. Shhh. Wonderful, isn't it, Harold? Look at the crowd. - I know about the crowds, I tried driving out to our tract office and had to turn back, then I saw this. I called the papers and they said it wasn't a mistake, that you changed the ads. Well, it was only a slight change. Slight? All I did was take off the "one." All you did was change 14,000 to 4,000. Well, you always kept telling me that the cheaper we sell our homes, the more people could buy them. Mr. Fakrash, those houses cost us over $13,000 apiece. Selling them at $4,000, we lose $9,000 a house. Wonderful, isn't it? No one else can do that. Before this day is over, you're going to be the most famous architect in America. - Before this day is over, we'll be bankrupt. Nonsense. The stock market will take care of everything. It's been very good to us lately. Lately? You haven't guessed wrong once in since six months, that's another thing. When we went into this partnership, you promised, no hocus-pocus. I've kept my word. Every move that I've made has been absolutely legitimate. Can I help it if I know which stocks are going to go up? Look, I brought ten thousand shares of Colfax Super Steel last week at a hundred three, now it's a hundred and eighteen. And next Wednesday at noon, it will be a hundred and thirty five and that's when I sell. Relax, my boy. Let's get started on our next thousand homes, so that we can make more people happy. I repeat, police request the public to stay away from Ventimore City. Riots have broken out as thousands of persons continue to besiege the tract office of Fakrash and Ventimore. Perhaps we should have built 10,000 homes. It would have just made it worse. Here are more late bulletins. Washington D.C. The FBI and other Federal authorities have joined with City, County, and State officials in investigating Fakrash and Ventimore. Sacramento. The State Attorney General has petitioned the courts for an injunction stopping all sales at Ventimore City. What does it mean? It means we'd better get our lawyer over here. We're in trouble. Why should they be angry at us? It's not our fault they stopped the sale of our homes. I heard of a man once who tried to sell $10 bills for a dollar, they arrested him as a swindler. Are you just going to stand there, do nothing? I'm gonna stand here and make sure you do nothing. Fakrash. Well, it-- it just slipped out. Isn't there some way of getting rid of those reporters? No. Don't worry about them. It's the crowd in the other room you've got to worry about. What crowd? Oh, about a dozen Federal State, County, and City officials are fighting over who's gonna take you two into custody. As your legal counsel, I've accepted service on all subpoenas. What is a subpoena? These. Bureau of Internal Revenue, Department of Justice, County Grand Jury, the FBI, Security Exchange Commission, Special Congressional Crime Commission. Crime Commission? What do you mean disappeared? Just that, Senator Grindle, Mr. Fakrash disappeared. Oh, vanished into thin air? Just like that? Yes, sir. Mr. Fakrash is in contempt of this committee. Issue a warrant. Won't do any good. Why not? I'd rather not answer that. I insist you do answers, Mr. Ventimore. Well, sir, if you must know, Mr. Fakrash isn't human. He's a genie. A genie? Uh, you-- you mean like the-- like the one-- - Yes, sir, like the one that came out of Aladdin's lamp. Only this one came out of a brass bottle. Order. Order in the room here. Order. Order. There's nothing wrong with me. There's nothing wrong with me. There's nothing wrong with me. Then, why humiliate yourself by pretending insanity? I'm not pretending, Sylvia. I am insane. They've even got me so confused I don't know what I'm saying. Why did you come back from Europe? Why did you get mixed up in all this? Because I love you. Whatever you've done, I know that man made you do it. And I'm sure it'll all clear up the moment the police find him. Never find him. He could be any place and they wouldn't know it. He can make himself invisible. Oh, you poor dear. You really believe it. You are sick. I tell-- all right. I'm sick and if I weren't in a strait jacket, I'd be cutting out paper dolls. That-- don't-- don't-- don't worry, dear. Dr. Travisley is on the Board of Psychiatrists and... he'll be at your sanity hearing tomorrow. I thought she would never leave. Oh. That padding. - Well, what brings you back? I thought you were thousands of miles away. I was. A delightful South Sea island. I came back for you. You must be ready to join me now. Oh, let's not go through all that again. You tried your way, Harold, you told the truth. See your reward? Well, that's because I couldn't prove it. You're the only one who can convince them you're a genie. Not with words alone, my boy. Remember the difficultly I had convincing you? All right. Maybe a little hocus, but no pocus. So be it. On the morrow, I shall be at thy side and we shall vanquish thy enemies together. Know that I am Fakrash-al-Aamash, an Efreet of the Green Jinn, Master of the Palace of the Mountain of the Clouds above the city of Babel in the Garden of Irem. Know also that King Solomon, on whom be peace, became exceedingly wroth at a fancied wrong and commanded that I be imprisoned in a bottle of brass and cast into the sea, there to abide the day of doom. But verily, it came to pass-- Gentlemen, don't you think we've wasted enough time? I think so, Senator Grindle. From a psychiatric viewpoint, it's quite obvious, Mr. Fakrash is setting up an insanity defense of his own. Oh, thou of little faith, I warn thee-- - Don't-- don't lose your temper. Mr. Fakrash, that theatrical costume, this ridiculous performance. If you and Mr. Ventimore expect to get away with this farce, you're either imbeciles or fools. Let the rat that is between the paws of the leopard refrain from words of provocation. - Control thyself. Just-- just give them proof. - Verily. I shall transport this building and these misbegotten unbelievers to the top of Mount Ararat. - No, no, no, no. - And there let them rot. - Nothing so drastic. Keep it simple. Very well. Behold. How in the world? Well, speak up. Have I convinced thee? Amazing. Gentlemen, it's obviously mass hypnosis. Hypnosis? The word is unfamiliar to me. Hallucination, induced through the power of suggestion. And is this hallucination as well? Senator, it has thy name inscribed upon it. Why, this gavel was a gift from my colleagues. I-- I left it on my desk in Washington. I stopped off there just now and picked it up. Naturally, gentlemen, that one is a duplicate. A childish and transparent bit of trickery. Trickery, thou sayest? My patience is exhausted. Small minds should have small bodies to match. Really, Mr. Fakrash? Change them back to normal. Please. I do so with great reluctance, Harold. We-- we'll have a short recess. Mr. Fakrash, Mr. Ventimore, please step into the anteroom. He-- he must be. But he couldn't be. There's no other explanation. Gentlemen, you really don't believe? You can't be serious. I'm afraid we are serious-- But I'm up for re-election. Now, why the long face? They must be convinced now. But how will they convince anyone else? People will think they're crazy. The same things will happen to them that happened to me. Your way doesn't work either. All you've done is start a chain reaction that will spread more and more trouble for more and more people. Then, you wish me to undo what I have done? I wish you could undo everything you've done since I let you out of that bottle. It is possible. You mean, you really can turn things back the way they were? It is within my power. What were you waiting for? Why didn't you do it when the trouble first started? I made a vow to serve you. I was seeking a way to do it. You found it. Turn everything back. Very well. I will erase memory of me and everything that I have done from the minds of everyone but you. Why not me? Well, you can't want that. I can still gratify your every wish. Give you anything you want, even Sylvia. Mr. Fakrash, we have a few "wisely-was-it-writtens," too. I learned one at school. What we obtain too easily, we esteem too lightly and it has little value. I always thought that was for squares until now. Then, it will make you happy if I erase all memory of me from your mind, too? It will. So be it. Farewell, my son, and may peace be with thee and may thy friends never be deprived of thy presence for truly thou are an excellent young man. Goodbye, Mr. Fakrash. I'm starving, Harold, why can't you just tell Mr. Beevor we're going to lunch? He doesn't like to be disturbed when he's with a client. He's waiting to see this sketch. May I help you? Yes, I'm looking for Mr. Ventimore. - That's me. - My name is Wackerbath. - Samuel Wackerbath? - That's right. Mr. Ventimore, I've decided you are the man to design Wackerbath City. Oh, please, excuse me. You, gentlemen, evidently have business to discuss. Mr. Wackerbath, may I present my fiancee, Ms. Kenton. - Delighted. How do you do? Uh, I'll be waiting at the restaurant. No, please, don't go. My new partner and his wife are joining me. Here, let's all have lunch together. Oh, here they are. Ms. Kenton, may I present Mr. and Mrs. Fakrash. - How do you do? - And the young man whose drawings we discussed, Harold Ventimore. A genuine pleasure, Mr. Ventimore. Well, thank you, sir. Well, we were just about to go to lunch. Well, let's go. I'm looking forward to a long and happy association, my son. |
|