Oh, boy
Yeah, it's Christmastime again
Let all your good cheer in
It's Christmastime,
it's Christmastime again
The stockings are hung
and the tree is trimmed
Sounds of the season
are ringing on in...
Voice: Ah, Christmas...
my favorite time of year.
Giant red bows and garlands
everywhere,
all those presents
and families spending more time together.
You can almost smell
the magic in the air,
although it isn't always easy,
especially when you're a dog.
That's me. My name's Zeus.
Dashing through the snow
In a one-horse open sleigh
O'er the hills we go
Laughing all the way
Bells on bobtails ring
Making spirits bright
What fun it is to ride and sing...
Zeus: I've had about all I can take
here on these streets.
I think I'm gonna turn myself in
to the dog catcher.
Hey, at least I can get
three square meals on the inside.
(dogs barking)
Hey, boys, what's happening?
Look at what we got here, fellows...
a newbie.
My name's Zeus,
like the Greek god.
Well, a fancy name
for a street dog.
Yeah, a fancy name.
Yeah.
You're going to be here
for a long time,
so I suggest you find things
to occupy yourself with.
Don't worry about me, sweetie.
I'll be fine. I used to be a cop.
Yeah, right.
I used to save people's lives
for a living.
Really? Tell us, tell us.
One time I rescued this steel mill worker
from a fiery inferno.
And he told me...
Thank you. Thank you.
You saved my life.
So what are you doing here then?
That's a long story.
I'm just waiting for a family
to take me home and give me a chance.
- (laughter)
- Oh, sure,
my new owner is gonna ride in
on his white horse
and whisk me away to a place
where Milk-Bones are gold-plated.
(laughing)
That's a good one.
What's so funny?
There's gotta be somebody out there
who will take me home.
Tannenbaum and mangers
And mistletoe
Jingle bells and sleigh rides
Across the snow
(children cheering)
Christmastime is here
And to everyone good cheer
It's a beautiful
Time of the year
Merry Christmas to all you
Girls and boys
If you all stay cool
You just might get
your favorite toys
Merry Christmas
Good will to everyone
Why don't we
smile on each other?
Why don't we have
a little fun?
Whoo!
(phone rings)
Hello.
I'm here.
Is the coast clear?
Oh, uh, yeah. Donna Jamieson
is dropping off the kids
any second, so get your butt in here.
Okay, I'm gonna need
some backup, honey.
Um, okay.
Okay, I'll be right out. Bye.
I'm coming. I'm coming.
Oh.
I can take more.
- Okay.
- Got it?
Come on, come on.
Honey, I am so excited
for our first Christmas in the new house.
- I know.
- The kids are just gonna love it.
I know. It's gonna be
so much better than last year
- when we went to your Aunt Jean's.
- Oh, well, that was...
Oh oh oh. Okay okay.
Come on, hurry hurry.
Come on.
I hope these aren't breakable.
Okay.
(horn honks)
Come on, hurry hurry hurry.
- Bye-bye.
- Merry Christmas. Bye.
Merry Christmas.
Tell your mom I said hi.
- Man: Will do. Merry Christmas.
- Bye.
Hey, my little elves.
What's going on?
- Guess what Ricky Jamieson said.
- What's that?
What's up with your back?
Oh, uh, you know, sciatica...
Christmas sciatica.
Christmas what-aca?
Sciatica, honey.
It's a real ailment.
Hey, isn't that Ricky Jamieson
out there?
- What do you mean?
- Yeah.
Uh, I don't know.
I don't know what I meant.
Hey, it's a Christmas miracle.
Your back is all better, Daddy.
What's that, honey?
Oh, no no, I'm still hurt.
I'm gonna go take a nap.
Hey, why don't you kids, you know,
go make some egg-nog or something?
Okay?
You know where the stuff is, right...
for the egg-nog?
Okay.
Pull up right here.
Bingo.
That beauty right there
looks like a Victorian mansion.
Older man: Looks like
a giant dollhouse.
That beauty right there
is going to be our last one.
Forever?
On this block, you idiot.
What happened
to the rule we had...
we couldn't hit
two houses on the same block?
Forget I ever said it.
A beauty like that...
rules are made to be broken.
Okay.
Ka-ching! Ka-ching!
George, we really need to get
that chandelier in the foyer fixed.
I don't think that it's safe
hanging tied the way it is.
It's perfectly safe
the way it is, honey.
But I'll take a look at it
after the holidays.
328 Red Maple?
328 Red Maple?
Honey, isn't that the Johnsons' house?
Yeah.
They were robbed.
You're kidding.
No, and this is the second time
on this block in a month.
That's it, George.
We have to get that alarm,
especially with Christmas coming.
Hey, you know, I think we should
get a dog for Christmas... a watchdog.
A dog!
Daddy, can we?
I think it's a great idea, sweetheart.
(laughing)
What do you think, hon?
We have already talked
about this, George.
I barely have enough time as it is,
since I went back to work.
Back to work?
Honey, you're a seamstress
and you work here at home.
I mean, what's the big deal?
I am a costume maker
and it is a big deal.
How am I gonna take care of a dog
when I have 15 wigs to weave
before New Year's Eve?
I could walk him and feed him
before I go to work in the morning.
And then when I come home for lunch
I could check on him.
Plus, I could, you know,
weave some of those wigs with you.
I don't know, George.
It's a new house
and dogs are messy
and they chew things.
If we're gonna get a pet,
we should get a cat,
with this mouse problem
we're having.
- Mouse: Oh, no.
- That's not good.
Yeah, but Mom, we want a dog
for Christmas.
Yeah, a big fluffy dog
with long blond hair and floppy ears.
- Come on, Mom.
- Come on, Mom.
Okay, we will discuss this later.
Come on, you're gonna miss the bus.
Let's go, let's go.
- Say goodbye to your father.
- Bye, Daddy.
Have a good day, bro.
I'll help you get your jacket, okay?
I'll be right out.
Promise me
you will not buy a dog
before we've had a chance
to talk about it again.
I promise.
Thank you.
(dings bell)
- How are you doing?
- Hey.
- How are you doing?
- Good. Very good.
I'm George Bannister
and I think I'm ready to adopt.
Well, I'm Benny.
Nice to meet you, George.
(laughs)
You want to adopt a dog?
We are in the market
for a watchdog.
A watchdog.
Well, today we're running a special.
It's Christmas.
Why not be special?
You adopt one dog...
you get another one for free.
Oh, that's okay.
I think one dog's plenty, you know.
We're good.
It's a free dog.
Yeah, if I ever brought home
two dogs,
the wife would put me
in the pound.
(laughs)
We can use another dog
around here.
I'll tell you what I'll do...
how about I throw in
some doggy biscuits,
a rubber ball and a doggy bone?
Oh, that'd be great.
Okay, well, sign right in
and I'll bring you right around.
Yeah, we got one.
Yeah, get it ready.
On, level one.
You know, some people think
those are cookies and eat them.
They're doggy biscuits.
Come on.
That's...
that's something else.
(dogs barking,
gate buzzes)
Come on in.
Look, there's somebody
who can take me home,
if I could only bark
to get his attention.
Zeus, you're saying
you can't even bark?
If you can't bark,
you ain't got a chance.
The pound.
(laughs)
Isn't it a little excessive,
with the bars?
Well, it has to be, man.
We've got some of the most
highly-profiled dogs
right behind these bars.
I mean, they're mentally challenged
as far as who to bite.
So I separate them
from the family dogs, from the good dogs.
Hey there.
Buck up, boys.
One of us is going home for the holidays.
Oh, I hope it's me.
Please, kind sir,
please take me,
I beg of you.
There's all types of dogs
in here.
You gotta know what you're doing
when you're at the pound, man.
Well, I'm looking for a family dog
and, you know, one that's
nice but tough.
Tough?
Well, I think I've got
just the dog for you.
Yeah, we call this one the Bronx.
What do you know about the Bronx?
From what I know, it's tough.
Tough like me, tough.
Well, this one...
his mother was a boxer
and his daddy was a pit bull.
How they got together and made a dog...
I don't know,
but he looks like a bulldog
all in the face.
Look at him right there.
Look at him... the Bronx.
- The Bronx?
- Yeah.
He's more like Staten Island.
You want a beef with me?
My mother's from Staten Island.
Well, come on, he's small right now,
but give him time.
He'll balloon into a beast
in months.
Hey, Bronkie, Bronkie!
I don't know if I have the kind of time
to wait for him to balloon.
- What about that guy right there?
- Dog: That's great. Good choice.
That one?
Oh, you want something aggressive, huh?
(laughs)
Look at the chompers on that one.
Look at him.
Yeah, he can bite.
He's looking at you too.
He's ready to protect for you.
Hey, Noodles.
Come here, Noodles.
Noodles?
Nah, that doesn't sound
like a watchdog to me.
Doesn't matter what you call him.
He's aggressive.
What about that one?
Get me out of here, please.
The food's terrible,
I have no hot water,
and I think I have fleas!
- The quiet one in the corner?
- Yeah yeah, over there in the back.
My God, that is a splitting image
of the one I had when I was a kid.
So Zeus is what you want, huh?
- Zeus?
- Yeah.
Now that's a guard dog.
Yeah, but if you're a dog,
you at least have to bark.
I mean, that dog... to be honest,
I've never heard him bark.
I don't know.
You know, I didn't speak till I was six.
My mom thought I was a mute.
Are you happy about that?
I am now, 'cause I can speak.
One thing I can tell you
about Zeus is
he used to be a former police dog...
a K-9 cop.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Got a plaque, a couple awards.
But right now he's a quiet dog.
Can I pet him?
Why not?
Open up family pound, #9.
We're going in.
(gate buzzes)
Come on.
You want me to come in with you?
Well, come on. Move back!
(growling)
Get back.
Come on, stay close to me.
(dogs squealing, barking)
- Is this safe?
- It's safe. It's very safe,
except for that one. He may make
a pass on your leg right there.
Shake it off.
Zeus, wake up, Zeus.
Hi, I'm Zeus, and believe me,
the pleasure is all mine.
Hey, Zeus.
How are ya, buddy?
Huh? You want to come home
with me, yeah?
Do you want a nice family, yeah?
Are you kidding?
Does a dog pee on a fire hydrant?
Does a flea itch? Does a...?
Yeah yeah,
this is the one, Benny.
All right.
(radio crackles)
Hey, open up, okay?
We're coming down.
Get the papers ready for Zeus.
Yeah.
Bye, Zeus.
Nice to meet you.
(sighs)
Got room for one more?
See you later, you lucky mutt.
Dashing through the snow
in a one-horse open sleigh
However the rest goes,
I'll sing it anyway.
Zeus, you're gonna love
the family, buddy.
- I can't wait.
- Oh, yeah.
Kara, my little daughter,
and Ben... he's our son.
He's a little older than Kara,
probably four or five years...
not really sure.
But great kids, great kids,
dog lovers all the way, buddy.
Zeus: Sounds like my kind
of people.
And of course my wife Belinda...
she's awesome.
And, oh, the apple strudel
is to die for.
Ooh, strudel... last time I had strudel
I was sick for a week.
You're probably gonna get into that
one way or the other.
Oh, and not to mention
a ginormous backyard, buddy.
Oh, now you're talking, Georgy.
Now you're talking.
We'll be out there playing
every day.
Gonna be great.
Oh, bells on Zeus's tail singing,
making Christmas right
Zeus is going home with the Bannisters
for a lovely Christmas night, hey!
Oh, Zeus,
one thing before we go in...
Belinda... a great lady.
She just has a few things
she doesn't care for.
She doesn't like snoring.
She doesn't like
when you leave the toilet seat up.
And she definitely doesn't like
when you chew with your mouth open.
Got it. Except for the whole
chewing-with-your-mouth-open thing.
I don't think I can swing that.
So as long as you don't do
anything I do,
you're cool.
She's gonna love you.
I hope so, Georgy.
I'd hate to go back to that pound.
Okay, let's go.
Hey, everybody, look what I got.
- A dog!
- A dog!
- A dog!
- This is gonna get interesting.
(laughing)
All right, Dad.
- George: Look what we've got.
- Kara: Daddy got a dog.
- How are you doing, buddy?
- Isn't he great? His name is Zeus.
Zeussy?
Zeus: You know,
like the Greek god.
Yeah, just Zeus, honey.
- Hi.
- Hi. Can I talk to you for a minute?
- Sure.
- In the kitchen.
Oh, inside? Yeah.
They love him already.
- Uh-oh, it's the kitchen talk.
- That's not good at all.
Uh, something tells me
Georgy forgot to clear me with the missus.
George, you promised you wouldn't
buy a dog until we talked.
Yeah, and I didn't break that promise,
boy scout's honor.
I didn't buy the dog.
I adopted him.
Oh, George.
I know, I know,
but it's that time of the year
when you take care
of the less fortunate.
He was homeless, Belinda.
And he reminded me so much of Duke
that I couldn't even resist.
I know that you had to put
your childhood dog to sleep
and you have been traumatized
ever since.
I'm not traumatized. And don't make it out
to be more than what it is.
The kids wanted a dog,
so I just thought...
Exactly. You thought.
You completely disregarded
what I said.
This is about the protection
of our home,
not about you making up
for some childhood loss.
That hurt.
For your information,
I am thinking about
the protection of our home.
Oh, you are?
He is a certified,
award-winning
K-9 police dog.
A K-9?
The most highly-trained dogs and
the most intelligent dogs on the planet.
He's the ultimate watchdog,
and we have one.
(sighs)
What?
I don't know, George.
It just seems like an alarm
would be so much safer and easier.
All right, Belinda,
trust me, okay?
These K-9s are so highly trained,
they're practically self-sufficient.
And as far as security,
they are notorious for being
the most toughest,
the most masculine dogs around.
(clears throat)
What? What's everybody
staring at?
Real dogs wear bows.
And the Christmas lights
are twinkling
And the glistening snow
has fallen...
Come on, Mom, can we bring Zeussy
to Grandma's?
Zeus: Yeah, bring me
to Granny's.
Come on, Zeus, off the bed.
Get off the bed. Off the bed.
I can't help it. This memory foam
does wonders for my hinds.
How many times do I have to tell
this dog?
Where is he going?
Zeus, cut it out.
That's disgusting, come on.
Zeus: Give me a second.
I'm dying of thirst here.
Come on, Mom, please, can we?
Can we bring Zeussy to Grandma's?
Oh, I don't think so, honey.
- Please.
- It's boring at Grandma's.
All she has to drink
is flat diet soda.
And prune juice.
Okay, now be nice, kids.
Yeah, but why do we have to go there
every Christmas Eve?
Because it's tradition.
What's tradition?
It's something that you have to do
even though you may not want to.
And no one should be alone
on Christmas Eve.
Mom, what if Santa decides
not to come to our house
because he doesn't think
we'll be here?
Oh, sweetheart,
Santa knows everything.
So he knows that we'll be back
first thing Christmas morning.
Mom, how come the cat lady
doesn't have any Christmas lights?
L... honey, I've really got a headache.
This is a lot of questions, okay?
I don't know why the cat lady
doesn't have Christmas lights.
Yeah, well, Ricky Jamieson says
it's 'cause she's an old Scrooge.
Okay, well, you know,
you tell Ricky Jamieson
that in this house we don't judge
people that we do not know.
Does that mean that we
judge people that we do know?
Y...
no no no no.
We don't judge anyone.
Where is that dog?
Get away from there now.
I am not gonna tell you again.
- Are you listening to me?
- (Zeus burps)
Well, the stores were just
completely packed.
Yeah, see, that's why I don't go
to the stores anymore.
That's why I send you, honey.
Well, you're gonna love
what I got you.
Aww. I told you
I didn't want anything...
Zeus: Ooh, gingerbread.
I love me some gingerbread.
Mom, look what Zeussy can do.
Ooh, that smells good.
George, come on.
He has to get down.
- Ooh, that's good.
- He's fine.
- Okay, I don't know what that was.
- Zeus: Mm, delicious.
You know, honey, it's funny,
but I don't think I've ever heard Zeus bark.
Oh, sure, honey.
Yeah, Zeus barks.
You might not have heard it yet,
but, you know,
they're highly-trained dogs.
They're very intelligent.
They go through a rigorous
training program
where they teach them to bark
on command
and when to bark, when not to bark.
They can't always bark.
If you always bark,
it tends to be kind of annoying.
They have to bark
when there's a noise
and not bark
when there's no noise.
That's how you want the dog.
But they need some kind of a stimulation...
you know, they need
another dog barking
or a human bark,
or a door knock,
or a doorbell, you know?
(doorbell rings)
Mm, I smell shrimp toast.
Hey, Old Yeller, why don't you
just go ahead and bark already?
You call that a dog?
Zeus: Is somebody gonna get that?
I'm starving over here.
Come on, Georgy.
You know I don't have thumbs.
Don't worry about it, Zeus.
We'll get you next time.
You'll bark next time.
Bark?
Oh, no, not that again.
- Hey.
- Goldberg's Chinese Food.
Yes, of course, yeah.
Merry, uh, Hanukah.
Happy holidays.
Close enough. $32.75.
Okay, great.
Here's $40.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
Very nice.
Oh, yeah, we're building a little
gingerbread house.
I meant the girl,
not the house.
- Oh.
- George: Oh, the girl, yeah.
She's kosher too.
- Hi. Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukah.
- That would be my wife.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Shalom.
- Shalom.
That was awkward.
You know what? You'll bark next time.
Who cares?
It's all good.
Who cares if I didn't bark.
The Bannisters love me
for who I am,
and that's the important thing.
You just look very tense.
I mean, I know this is
all new for you,
but we're gonna take it
one step at a time.
Okay.
Zeus: Uh, this is a little awkward,
George, don't you think?
Yeah, there we go, Zeussy.
- Is that better?
- Ooh.
- What did they do to you?
- Ooh, yeah, now I'm digging it.
They made you all silly-looking.
It's only you and me.
We're the men of the house.
Zeus: The men of the house...
yeah, right.
- You know what I'm talking about?
- Ooh, right there, George.
- You know what it's like to be a man?
- Yeah, dude.
- I was the only one.
- Ooh, yeah, that's the spot.
- Besides Ben.
- Ahh.
And now it's me, you and Ben.
You're gonna be able to bark.
I couldn't talk till I was six,
which is like 42 in your years.
You're gonna be a great
guard dog.
And better yet,
a great pet.
Ben and Kara already like you.
You're gonna love it here.
We just gotta work on Mommy
a little bit.
Dashing through the snow
In a one-horse open sleigh
O'er the fields we go
Laughing all the way
Bells on bobtails ring
Making spirits bright
What fun it is to ride and sing
A sleighing song tonight
Oh, jingle bells,
jingle bells
Jingle all the way,
Oh, what fun it is to ride...
(Mice laughing)
You can't even bark.
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh.
Uh-oh, that doesn't look
like the mailman.
Zeus: George, you'd better
come quick. I think we're being robbed!
Oh my gosh, George, he looks serious.
He's got a mask on.
Ooh, wait, show him the teeth.
That usually works.
Show him the teeth.
Here we go. Grr!
George, it's not working!
Ooh, rib-eye.
I haven't had rib-eye in a dog's year.
Oh my gosh, that's a big one.
Over here. Over here.
Yeah yeah yeah.
Me me me. Ooh.
Oh, yes, this is so good.
Mm, I can't believe it.
Okay, just stay right there, buddy.
I'll be with you in a moment.
George, Belinda.
George: What happened, Franz?
He's the worst-case scenario.
Are you saying that the dog
is never gonna bark?
I'm saying there's nothing I can do
except recommend a psychiatrist.
A psychiatrist?
Hey, mister, you got any more
meat for me?
Given his K-9 background...
- Oh, for Zeus.
...it's entirely possible
he suffered some sort of
psychological trauma on the job.
(speaks German)
Sorry, chief, I have no idea what you're
saying. I only speak dog and English.
I'm sorry, George.
Oh, come on, I knew it was a trick.
Have him break in again. I'll tackle him.
Do you think there's anything we can do
after the holiday?
He failed the steak test, guys.
Now I'm good,
but you're gonna need a miracle worker
to turn that dog around.
Merry Christmas.
A therapist? I don't need a therapist.
Just give me another chance.
I can bark,
really I can.
Eh, what's the use?
I'm sorry, guys.
I'm really sorry.
I might have messed this up too.
George: First of all, he is a dog,
and dogs teethe.
He's not teething.
He's four years old.
And that is 30 in human years.
Uh, it's 28, Einstein,
and his birth date
is still in question.
George, I just don't think
after today's session with Franz
that Zeussy is working out.
First of all, his name is Zeus, okay,
like the Greek god?
Don't get testy with me, George.
I am just saying
that we got the dog
in order to protect
our home and the children.
And we agreed that we would
either have an alarm or have a dog.
Belinda, stop with the alarm
already, okay?
We have a top-notch
security guard dog
in our hands.
Case closed.
George, why is it
that everyone else but you
can see
that Zeussy is not
what you think he is?
Okay, so then why don't we get
a psychiatrist like Franz suggested?
That is ridiculous.
It's not ridiculous.
And you know what?
The FDA just approved
a dog antidepressant.
Maybe that will free up
his mind a little bit.
Doggy antidepressant?
Yes. You know, I just don't want
to give up on this whole thing, Belinda.
And those kids...
they're not gonna forgive you.
Oh, the kids will be fine.
The kids are kids
and they will learn
to love the next dog.
You, it seems, will never
forgive me.
- I have an idea.
- Good.
(sighs)
Look, George,
I can see that this is
very upsetting for you,
so I am willing
to make a compromise.
After the holidays
we'll bring Zeus
back to the pound
and then we'll invest
in a real watchdog.
Okay?
I'm just saying I don't think
we should give up on him so fast.
Oh, why are you so attached
to this dog?
Because he's underestimated
and I know exactly how that feels.
Okay, but promise me...
promise me
that if things don't improve
by the time we go to my mom's...
Deal?
Deal.
(dogs barking)
Okay, so you have to surprise
Mom and Dad
with a nice, loud bark
before Christmas Eve.
I wouldn't bet on it.
- Come on, Zeussy. Woof woof woof!
- Come on, Zeussy boy, you can do it.
Come on, come on, woof!
Woof woof!
(dogs barking)
Come on, come on, come on.
Woof woof woof.
Okay, I'll give it a shot.
Ruff ruff!
Come on, ruff ruff ruff!
- Come on, woof woof woof.
- Come on, woof woof.
Come on, Zeussy boy.
Come on, Zeussy.
Come on.
Kids, please please, go to bed.
I told you I don't like
tuna fish.
- Ruff ruff.
- Come on, do it with us. Ruff ruff.
- Come on, ruff ruff.
- Woof.
Zeus: Hey, who's that?
She's back.
Ricky Jamieson says
the cat lady hates dog so much
that she calls the pound up
to make more room for cats.
So she lures the dogs in
with a homemade stew
and then calls the pound up
as they're eating it.
I heard that she hates dog so much
that she called the pound on her own dog.
So stay far far away from her,
and no matter what you do,
never ever eat her stew.
Never ever ever.
Zeus: Got it. No stew.
Kara: She sees us!
What are you guys doing?
What do I do? Where do I hide?
Ooh, I think she saw me.
(thunder crashing)
George: All right,
my little working elves,
ho ho ho ho ho!
- Kara: Ho ho ho.
- George: Now for the fun part.
Remember, we've been working
on this a long time,
and it is kind of fragile, right?
And it is our gift to Grandma...
you know...
(whistles) Yeah.
So just be careful and keep
placing the details now.
All right, now where do I
put these?
Oh, anywhere, sweetheart.
Anywhere your little heart desires.
And remember, if we do a very
nice job this year,
Grandma will probably make you
some of those knitted Christmas booties
she made you last year.
Oh, golly gee, just what I wanted...
another pair of Christmas booties.
Easy, buddy.
She's still your grandmother.
(mice squeaking)
Ooh, there's those
cheese eaters again.
Both: You bet your
bottom bumpkin.
Maybe if I can catch them
I can earn my keep,
prove to the Bannisters
I'm worthy.
Okay, I think we're just about finished.
We should get this upstairs
before Mom comes home.
She's gonna be home any minute.
I'm gonna get you, rats.
Mouse: Better bring your A-game,
you crude K-9 corn dog.
(crash)
What was that?
Is that Zeus?
I don't know.
Yeah.
Hey, Ben, can you help me
on the other side there, buddy?
All right.
Careful, sweetheart.
- Don't hurt yourself.
- I won't.
All right, you want to help out?
That's okay.
Ha-ha! I got you now
right where I want you.
Hey, is that gingerbread?
Ooh, I love gingerbread.
Oh, yes!
No, Zeus, get back!
Oh. Oh.
Oh my God.
Agh. Oh, no.
Daddy, you're in a lot of trouble.
Yeah, I know, honey.
Looks like you and Zeus
are in the doghouse.
What else is new?
Come on, we'd better
go clean this up.
Oh, great.
Now Belinda's really gonna
send me back to the pound.
(car horn honks)
Oh, great. It's my number-one fan.
Boy, do I have terrible timing.
- Hurry.
- Give me that too.
What happened?
Both: Nothing.
Nothing?
He didn't do it, Mom.
He who?
Zeussy.
Hey, do you kids know
where glue is? I want to fix the...
The glue's behind me?
The glue! Hey!
Hey, you are the glue, honey,
that keeps our family together.
What is going on here?
Uh, nothing.
We just had a little accident.
George, we spent two weeks
making that gingerbread house.
Mommy, I'm sorry.
I tripped 'cause it was...
No no, what happened was
I was coming in with...
The two of them were helping me.
And I had it too high.
And there was a cord there.
I didn't see it.
Where is the dog?
Upstairs.
Doing what?
I don't know.
You know, dog things.
George, that is the only thing
that she wanted for Christmas.
And what happened to that?
I did that, Mommy.
I'm sorry.
I tripped and I knocked it over
off the... yeah.
She did.
She broke it.
Where are you going?
I am going to the bakery
to buy a gingerbread house.
All right, drive safe.
There's a lot of traffic.
Thank you, honey.
That's very sweet of you.
Ben, you should be
ashamed of yourself.
You should have claimed that.
I can't do anything right.
I'm a poor excuse for a dog.
I couldn't mark my own territory
in a sandbox.
I couldn't play fetch
with a boomerang.
I couldn't...
oh, what's the use?
It's dj vu all over again.
Only this time it's the Bannisters
that I'm letting down.
(coughing)
Here comes Zeus.
Zeus: Stop, drop and roll.
I'm coming, George, I'm coming.
I'll save you. I'll get you and Belinda
out safely. Follow me.
- Hey.
- Hey, George.
I just had this crazy dream.
I was barking up a storm
- and I saved you and Belinda. It was epic.
- How are you doing?
How are you doing?
Zeus: Listen, about that
gingerbread incident...
- I was only trying to catch those mice.
- Listen...
And they were going one way.
And I smelled the gingerbread.
- And I got confused and...
- I don't know how to tell you this, but...
(barking)
Mother: Georgy,
stop playing with Duke.
It's time for dinner.
Belinda...
you know Belinda...
Belinda thinks it's best
if we take you back
to the pound.
What? You gotta talk
some sense into her.
You can't send me back,
George.
What about that whole
it's-only-me-and-you thing?
George: We're actually running
a little late to Grandma's house, so...
No no no, George, George,
wait wait, please.
You can't give up on me...
not you.
I'm gonna take care
of all this in the morning.
I can drop you off then.
No, George, please,
you can't give up on me. I promise...
Listen, there's plenty
of water and food,
so, you know,
make yourself feel at home.
No no, you can't give up on me.
I promise I'll be a good dog.
I won't break anything.
I'll learn how to bark.
Sorry, buddy.
I guess it just wasn't
meant to be.
Of course it's meant to be.
You and I, George...
we're like peanut butter and jelly,
salt and pepper.
We just go together.
- George, where are you going?
- Hey, kids.
- You can't leave me. It's Christmas.
- Come say goodbye to Zeus.
I can't believe
this is really happening
on Christmas.
Get lost in the shadows
of days gone by
But you never forget
when the moment is right
So mark this day
With a kiss
It doesn't get
Better than this.
We're gonna miss you, bud.
Mom, do we really have to
get rid of Zeussy?
Well...
yes, honey, we do.
But listen,
I don't want you to worry,
because we are gonna get you
a really nice, cute new puppy.
- A puppy?
- Zeus: A puppy?
But what's gonna happen
to Zeussy?
Well, Zeussy is going to find
a really nice home,
the right home for him.
- Zeus: But I have a home. It's right here.
- Okay?
We were a good home.
I know, but we just weren't
the right one for him.
So...
you have to
say goodbye now, okay?
'Cause Grandma's waiting for us.
All right?
- Okay, come on.
- All right, okay.
All right, Zeussy.
All right, buddy.
See you later, okay?
See you later.
See you later.
Zeus: You know, wait, Ben.
Don't go, Ben, please.
I'll do better, I promise.
Ben, don't go.
Oh, no.
No, Kara, Kara, don't cry.
Kara, it's okay.
Everything's gonna be okay.
Look at the size
of that house.
I know.
Older man: Look, they're going
on a trip.
Younger man: We just
caught a break.
It's gonna make our job
so much easier.
How?
Where do you think
they're going?
Who cares where they're going?
They're going.
That's gonna make our job easier.
Look at that snowman.
And look at those reeds.
Those are real reeds
right there.
Those aren't reeds
that you just buy at the corner.
Somebody took the time and made those.
Those gotta go for $198 retail.
We could sell those, Ted.
Imagine the jewelry...
watches, necklaces...
electronics.
Imagine the kitchen. They got two of them,
and a freezer downstairs.
And that's where they have the meat
and the cupcakes.
See, I know about that stuff.
No no no, Stewey,
no funny business.
We go in, we get the loot,
we get out. That's it.
Oops, sorry, kids.
I just forgot one thing inside.
Belinda: You have
your seat belts on?
And they got hot chocolate
and marshmallows
and cookies and oatmeal cookies.
I've been away for a long time.
That joint... they don't take care of you
over the holidays.
They give you, you know,
pasteurized turkey.
You can't live on that stuff
on the holidays.
Ah.
Here we go.
Santa's gonna love
Belinda's homemade
chocolate-chip cookies.
It's funny...
she doesn't make the cookies for me.
Actually, that might be
one too many.
Yeah, I'll eat the rest
of those later.
You mess this up...
you're gonna be back in the joint.
Okay?
We go in, we get the goods,
we get out.
That's it. No eating.
No funny business.
This is business business.
You think they got a dog?
'Cause I hate dogs.
Ted, I've always hated dogs,
whether they are little, big,
small, fat.
I don't want no dogs.
That time you told me there wasn't a dog,
I climbed into a doggy window
and there was a dog.
And he almost bit me.
And you know what?
I got no insurance this time,
so I can't even go to the hospital.
I don't want no dogs.
I'm telling you right now
I don't want to see a dog. If I see a dog,
I'm gonna have an anxiety attack
and I gotta go to a prison acupuncturist.
I gotta make an appoint...
Stewey, what have we been doing
for the last two days?
Sitting here.
I don't know.
Have you heard a dog bark?
No.
No. Exactly.
No dog, okay?
(breathing deeply)
With this house we'll finally
pay off that debt to Tony Roe.
And I can stop my diet.
And if we have any money
left over,
you'll get that nose job
you've always been talking about.
It's not a nose job.
I have a deviated septum.
The one in your house
or the one here?
It's... it's...
at the house.
(Zeus whining)
Wait, guys. Come back.
Don't do this. Don't do this, please.
I'm sorry, okay?
George, George, don't leave me.
I'm your best friend.
George.
- Oh, no.
- Bye, Zeussy.
Hey, this alone thing
ain't so bad after all.
I got no one telling me
what to do
and I got the whole house
to myself.
Oh, this part gets me every time.
I'm hungry.
I'm gonna look for a little snack.
Who says dogs shouldn't be
eating candy?
All right.
- (toy barking)
- Come here, come here.
What are you looking at? Are you
looking at me? What's your problem?
Huh, I smell something.
What's that?
Cookies?
Are those cookies? Yes!
Cookies, come to Zeus, baby.
Got 'em.
Belinda always said
to brush after every meal.
Now this is the life.
What happened when Santa Claus's cat
swallowed a ball of yarn?
She had mittens.
Voice: Come, Zeus,
drink from my well.
Zeus: Did I just...?
Am I going crazy?
Voice: You're not going crazy.
You're just alone and thirsty.
Whoa.
Voice: Don't worry,
Belinda will understand.
- Zeus: Bottoms up.
- Come, enjoy.
It's cool and refreshing.
- This dog sure is messy.
- I know, and I love it.
What's going on?
Franz, is that you?
Plumbers.
Zeus: I get it.
This is all a setup.
George isn't really
bringing me back to the pound.
He just wanted to see
how I was gonna react.
All right, I'll show him.
Anybody home?
Wait a minute.
These guys don't smell like plumbers.
These guys are the real deal.
This is definitely not a test.
See? Just like I told you,
nobody home, no dog.
It's gonna be a piece of cake.
- I hope you're right, Captain.
- What did I tell you about calling me that?
You said to call you General.
You didn't say nothing about Captain.
- Don't call me anything. No nicknames.
- Okay.
I gotta do something.
These guys are coming to rob the house.
I'm gonna get this one.
Step aside.
You know what you're doing?
I worked for a locksmith.
You forget about these things.
Keep your eye out there.
Ahh.
Come on, baby.
Come on, let Uncle Stewey
teach you.
Come on, come on.
Come on.
What's taking so long?
Relax.
This is my first time.
I thought you said
you worked for a locksmith.
Shh. I did, but I made keys.
I know just the thing
to get rid of these hooligans.
Here.
Use this.
Now you're talking.
Step aside.
(dogs barking)
Argh!
I don't like dogs.
I'm scared of dogs.
I won't work with dogs.
I've been telling you...
No, you are going inside.
Yes, you are.
I hate dogs. I'm scared of them.
They always bite me.
Come on, give me that.
Give me that thing.
- Stop it.
- Give that thing back.
- What's wrong with you?
- Look look.
Argh!
I'm not going in there with dogs.
I hate dogs.
(cat mews)
We're coming back here
in two hours.
I've got a plan for that dog.
Shh.
Hey, Dad, when are we
gonna get there?
Trust me, son,
when we get there, we will be there.
Hey, Mom, when are we
gonna get there?
Kids, why don't we sing
a Christmas song, a happy song?
Oh, that's a great idea, honey.
Dashing through the snow
in a one-horse open sleigh
Through the fields we go,
laughing all the way, ha ha ha.
George: Well, Benji,
we're finally here.
The Bannisters made it
to Grandma's.
Ben: Great. Flat soda
and stale pretzels, here we come.
George: Hey, it's Christmas.
Show some Christmas spirit, will ya?
(humming a tune)
- Great pretzels, Mom.
- Oh, I made them.
When? Last Christmas?
Well, it's German.
It should be hard.
Hey, not at the table.
- A pretzel?
- Oh, you love those, honey.
Yeah, not those.
Well, what are we doing?
Look at this.
We are making popcorn.
- Oh, this is gonna be so fun, huh?
- Isn't it?
Yeah. Come on, cheer up.
Santa is gonna be here later tonight.
He is.
I hope somebody's been good.
Oh, we're gonna have to leave
some milk and cookies out for Santa
in case he gets hungry, you know.
What's the matter?
Who's gloomy?
Oh, gloomy faces.
Santa's not gonna like that, or his elves.
So somebody'd better smile.
Oh, this one broke.
Come on, guys, this is fun.
Santa is looking right now
down from the chimney
and going, "Hmm, I don't know
if I want to visit those kids.
They're not very happy."
Oh, let's face it, I'm just not good
at confrontation anymore.
These paws have seen
better days.
I'm a has-been, or maybe worse...
a never-was.
I won't let these guys
ruin Christmas.
I'm gonna go out
and get some help.
And when these guys come back
they're gonna be sorry.
All I have to do is sneak past
the crazy cat lady's house.
Come on, you can do it.
Mush mush mush, Zeus.
No stopping until l...
oh, a tree branch.
(whines)
Ooh, that's gonna leave a mark.
(groans) Huh?
Where am I?
What is this place?
Oh, no.
I'm in the cat's den
with that crazy cat broad.
Wait, what's with the poker?
Cat lady: Hey, buddy.
(Zeus sniffs) Stew?
Uh-oh, it might be laced.
- How are you doing?
- But I'm starving.
You were out cold.
We fixed you up pretty good,
didn't we, Chegwee?
Chegwee: Unfortunately.
You just don't listen to those stories
that kids tell.
You know, people get
the wrong idea.
They think 'cause I don't put
any lights outside for Christmas,
I'm a Scrooge.
Truth is, I just don't have
anybody to help me.
That's what happens when you outlive
most of your family.
That's why it's just Chegwee and me.
So don't worry,
I'm not gonna send you
to the pound anytime soon.
- Well, that's a relief.
- If you behave.
Say what?
Are you hungry?
You know, I could really go
for some of that stew right now.
On, no, wait.
What am I saying?
You stay there.
Hey, you, what's your name?
Zeus. Why are you whispering?
You know she can't hear us, right?
Yeah, right. Keep it down.
So what's it like being a dog?
Today it stinks.
What's it like being a cat?
It's not so bad. You get to spy
on people through windows
and poop inside.
Keep it down. Here she comes.
A Christmas feast.
Zeus: Stew! Yeah!
A dog's best friend.
All right, now sign of poison.
Oh, you were hungry.
All right.
That's some tasty stew.
Well done, cat lady.
You know, I've been watching you.
And I don't mean to pry
or get personal,
but I've noticed
you don't bark.
Great. Does everybody on the block
know I can't bark?
What are you afraid of?
Let's just say the last time I barked
something bad happened.
And now everything's all messed up
and I don't know what to do.
Fear is a funny thing.
You let it in and it starts to overtake
every part of your life.
Long time ago my dog Rufus...
he attacked me.
Yeah.
I found out the hard way
he didn't like dried Kibble.
She's still feeding me Kibble.
Thanks.
One day he just snapped,
tore through my best sweater
like a wild hyena.
I had to give him away,
which is probably where
the rumor got started.
And for the longest time
I was afraid of every dog.
And then one day I realized
that it was silly
to let one incident
make me afraid of all dogs.
Everybody had fears,
but you just gotta face them.
And when you do,
they go away.
They do?
Well, I was the number-one K-9
in my division
until that day.
Get down, Zeus. Get down.
Zeus, Zeus, Zeus.
- (Zeus barking)
- Stop him from barking.
Zeus, get down.
Stay back.
Zeus: It was my fault.
Because of my barking,
I blew a five-year investigation.
And to top it off, my partner
broke his trigger finger.
He was never able
to shoot straight again.
You can't use what happened there
as an excuse
to stop being what you are.
You gotta be
what you were meant to be
and do what you were
meant to do.
Hey, this old cat
may have a point.
(whistling)
Girl on TV: Come on,
Chappy, come on. You can do it.
Boy on TV: You're the greatest
dog of all.
Thank you.
I wish we could keep Zeussy.
Ben: Yeah, I bet Zeus can do that.
Belinda: No, honey.
This is just a TV show.
In real life
dogs can't do that.
- Yes, they can.
- No, they can't.
- That's what they are made for.
- Don't tell them that. That's not true.
I'm telling them
what's in the magazine.
The magazine is not correct.
What are you watching?
Oh, "Chappy the Dog."
What's going on?
Why do you think I read this thing?
I don't know why you read this thing.
This is absurd.
- Well, it's to inform myself.
- That is not a real dog.
Yes, it is.
- It's a good magazine.
- It's Christmas.
I don't care.
It's a good magazine.
Oh, I've seen this episode.
Do you know what's gonna happen?
Chappy is gonna get to that girl
before her mother does.
And then Chappy's gonna
save that little girl. And then...
- Grandma, do you mind?
- Sorry.
I can be the dog I once was.
I was trained to fight crime
and that's what I'm gonna do.
When those perps come back,
you bet Chegwee's whiskers I'll be ready.
Okay, I need to gather
weapons and ammo.
Can't use those...
too small.
Okay, let me see, let me see,
let me see.
Ooh, maybe I can use Santa
as a decoy.
No no no, too big, too big.
Bingo. Yes!
My K-9 sense is tingling.
Peekaboo, you robbers you.
You definitely want to do this?
Yeah. Turn the car off.
Now remember what I said...
no funny business.
Define "funny business."
Like that time on the Smith Street job
when I walked in
and you were raiding
the refrigerator.
Prune juice, liverwurst
and potato-chip sandwiches...
that's funny business.
I was constipated.
- A liverwurst sandwich?
- They didn't have no bologna.
You know I like my bologna fresh
and thin-sliced from the butcher,
not that supermarket stuff.
And we've been together how long now?
You know that whenever
we pull a job I get anxiety.
And anxiety causes me to get A) gas,
or B) hunger.
What would you rather do...
me blow a couple farts
or me eat a sandwich?
What would you rather me do?
Stewey...
no funny business.
No funny business.
No funny business.
I guess hunger is funny business.
Stewey: You understand me?
Ted: I told you, I got a plan.
I came prepared.
That's why I brought this muzzle.
Stewey: I'm not putting that on.
It's for the dog, you numbskull.
It's a muzzle.
How are you gonna put it
on the dog?
Well, that's what this is for.
Mace? This don't work.
If it doesn't, a backup plan...
I got a tranquilizer gun.
Where did you get that from?
In the last house we boosted
there was a rat.
You're a genius.
I'm gonna hit this door right here.
Keep an eye out for this cat lady
and we're off.
Zeus: I wouldn't do that
if I were you.
- Yeah, take that.
- Oh!
- Oh, who's the tough guy now?
- Ow.
- Stewey: What was that?
- Zeus: Boom!
- Oh, goes the dynamite. Take another.
- You idiot.
- What did I do?
- I thought the house was clear.
- Zeus: And another.
- We saw them leave, didn't we?
- Who's doing that then, the mutt?
- Can't be the mutt alone.
They must have left one of the kids
behind to watch him.
You boys look a little dirty.
Ah, this ought to do the trick.
Here we go.
Let's give you a little flour shower.
- Let's get him.
- Let's get him.
We'll use the basement.
He can't drop stuff on us this way.
Zeus: Oh, there's more
where that came from.
Enter at your own peril.
Stewey: I'm just gonna kick in
the basement door.
If there's kids in there, then there's no way
the alarm is turned on.
- (crash)
Stewey: Argh! I think I broke my ankle.
I told you this was
a bad idea, Ted.
Shh.
What's wrong with you?
Forget the plant.
Come on.
Okay, you go this way.
I'll go this way.
Yell if you hear the boy.
Here's a little gutter ball for you.
Strike!
Ted, where'd you go?
Ted. Ted.
Stewey.
Okay, this is it.
It's now or never.
If I bark loud enough,
that cat broad will call me some backup.
Teddy.
Teddy.
Little boy,
Stewey here.
Don't be scared.
I'm not gonna hurt you.
As a matter of fact,
I got a pork chop in my pocket
with some cookies.
Hey, it's Christmas.
You and me...
we're gonna be buddies
and we're gonna have
a good time.
Zeus: A good time.
Yeah, let's start by playing
"pin the cuffs on the robbers."
Stewey: It's gonna be fine.
I'm gonna just reach in my pocket...
- Bark, you fool, bark.
...and get you this little treat, okay?
Like I said, Uncle Stewey's here
and I'm gonna make everything fine.
Oh, he got me
with the oldest trick in the book...
the old muzzle
over the noggin.
Gotcha.
Where's the kid?
- He's not around.
- Huh?
Listen, I looked in every crack
in this shack.
There's nothing...
no kid, no nobody.
That's impossible.
Are you sure?
Everywhere... under the beds.
I checked the windows.
They were closed.
I'm telling you, there's nobody here.
Well, if there's no kid,
then who sabotaged us?
Yours truly.
- Ted: That's ridiculous.
- Zeus: You're telling me.
Look at this.
What's that?
- "K-9."
- Zeus?
I don't believe it.
We're dealing with a certified K-9.
Stewey: Wow, a real police dog.
I've seen a whole special
about these guys.
Wait a second, it's him.
This dog is one of the smartest dogs
in the world.
- Give me this stick here.
- Well, he ain't that smart.
Zeus: Talk is cheap
where I come from, marshmallow man.
- Let me smash him.
- No.
No no, first we get
what we came for,
then you can do
whatever you want to, okay?
I don't like dogs.
(breathing deeply)
Ted, you always make me feel
a lot better.
I'm gonna make you suffer,
then suffer some more,
and then you'll know
what pain is.
Let's get out of here.
- Come on.
- Hold this for me.
That's a nice picture.
Well, that went well.
(snoring)
Mommy, I miss Zeussy.
Yeah, me too.
Can we go get him?
Both: Please.
It is Christmas Eve.
Yeah, Mom. You always said no one
should be home alone for Christmas Eve.
Yeah, you said that.
Maybe we shouldn't have
left him alone.
He could be destroying the house
as we speak.
So let me go get him.
I'll be back in a couple hours.
- We want to go too.
- Yeah, can we come?
Sure.
Let's do it, all right.
Let's go, let's go.
Hey, what if we run into Santa
on the way?
Oh, don't worry, sweetheart.
Santa's reindeer are no match
for the Bannister sleigh.
- That's right. Let's go.
- Cool.
Shh, don't wake up Grandma.
(snoring)
Where did you go?
Well, wait for me.
(horn honks)
Zeus: What are those guys
doing downstairs?
Oh, I gotta get out of here.
A house this nice, and all they got
is prepackaged bologna?
Unbelievable.
- What are you doing?
- Nothing.
What did I tell you?
I told you, no funny business.
Listen, Ted, I've been through
a wringer today. Let me just eat in peace.
We've been in this house
too long already.
Do you want to go back to jail?
I'll probably get
better bologna there.
You're better than that, Stewey.
Come on.
They probably got better bologna
in the fridge downstairs.
This is worse than the time
I got dog-napped
by that crazy clown who shot me
out of a cannon twice a week for a month.
Almost got it, almost.
Come on, almost.
Boo-ya!
These guys are loaded.
Why are you eating again?
I told you, don't eat.
- I'm hungry.
- You just ate two seconds ago.
- That was a long time ago.
- (siren whoops)
Cops cops.
That was subtle.
(police radio chatter)
Shh.
Who's out there?
- The cops.
- What do they want?
They want to wish you
Merry Christmas.
- Really?
- No.
They're patrolling the neighborhood.
What do you think?
Shh. You breathe so loud.
- Policeman: Hello.
- (farts)
- Police. Anybody here?
- Stop it.
When I'm nervous, I pass gas.
It's anxiety, you know.
- Yeah, well, cork it up.
- (farts)
(sniffs)
Ugh, you smell that, man?
(farting)
I think they can hear that.
What is that?
Oh, it's burning.
- It burns. Yours burn?
- No, mine doesn't burn.
I'm out of here.
No no no.
Stop. Forget the sandwich.
- My sandwich.
- Forget the sandwich. Stop it.
Stop it. Stop it.
Let's get out of here.
God.
We're going to jail for sure.
I knew we shouldn't have done this.
We shouldn't have broke the rule.
Break the rules?
It's all your escapade.
Remember, in the car?
"We do one more heist...
we can pay off Tony Roe."
That was you, remember?
I didn't say that.
You said that.
You're lying skunk. You also said you were
gonna get the money and the nose job.
You said that.
I don't need a nose job.
Whatever.
Some plumbers.
They probably broke a gas pipe.
That's what it was.
(police radio chatter)
Oh, we just caught a break.
All right, let's get our gear,
all the loot,
and let's get out of here.
- Got it?
- Got it.
Stop playing with the statues.
I'm in the mood
to go to the track.
Now these guys have gone too far.
No more Mr. Nice Dog.
Bright
Proud young
- Don't say that word...
Mother and child.
Mom, Dad, if she doesn't stop
right now
I'm gonna open up the door
and jump right out of the car.
Okay?
Can you please tell her?
Bright.
Stewey.
I'm just relaxing,
shooting some pool.
Leave the stuff alone.
Go get the loot.
Just this knot
and I'm out of here.
Sleep in heavenly peace.
- (door opens)
- (tires screech)
George: Hey, get back in the car.
(snoring)
Ben, a little help here, please.
Hey, Jack, Zeus is back.
Ted, what about these gifts?
You're heartless, you know that?
Time to pay the piper, boys.
How are they gonna feel
when they come back
and they think that Santa
skipped their house, huh?
- I like toys.
- That's because you're a child.
Boy, these guys are whack.
(sniffs)
Is that bologna?
How about we take half of them
and sell them online,
and take the other half
and we keep them?
- Now you're talking.
- All right.
There you go.
Wait, did you hear something?
No, I didn't hear anything.
It's up on the roof.
Maybe it's the reindeer.
Maybe it's Santa.
He's gonna catch us.
Santa's not gonna catch us
if you will move your butt.
Not for nothing, Ted, I don't want coal
in my stocking two years in a row.
There are no reindeer
on the roof.
Are you saying
you don't believe in Santa?
Of course I believe in Santa,
but everybody knows
that Santa does not start his route
until after midnight.
You're right.
When you're right, you're right.
Mm-hmm.
But wait a second,
how come there's gifts
and toys here already?
Maybe he made an early stop.
He can do that?
He can do whatever he wants to.
He is Santa.
You're right.
You're right.
Ted, you always know
how to make me feel better.
- Now can we move?
- Let's do this, yes. Stack me up.
- (growling)
- You and your stomach.
Would you go
to the bathroom already?
That's not my stomach.
My stomach's fine.
No, I can hear it growling
like a wild coyote.
Ted, that's not my stomach.
(growling)
(screams)
Get off.
Stewey, get off.
- I'm trying.
- Stewey, I can't breathe.
(both yelling)
Stewey: I ain't fat.
I'm big-boned.
This is it, Zeus.
You can do it. Bark.
Bark.
Let it out, Zeus.
Think of the Bannisters and bark.
- Get him.
- Zeus: I'm doing it. I'm doing it.
I'm barking.
I'm actually barking.
Zeus: Go ahead, punk.
Give it your best shot.
Don't move.
I'm gonna get you.
(screaming)
You have caused us
a lot of trouble today.
Boy, did you clowns
pick the wrong house.
Stewey: Get that dog.
Oh, Stewey.
- You okay?
- Huh?
I'm sorry.
Ooh.
Come on, come on.
Let's go. Let's get out of here.
You can make it.
Come on, Stewey.
You can make it.
Come on, come on.
You're always making me feel
so much better.
No no no no, get up.
Come on, Stewey, wake up.
Wake up, Stew, Stewey.
Stewey, we're gonna get caught.
You're going back to jail.
Come on, don't you go
to sleep right now.
Come on, Stewey.
We're gonna get caught.
I don't want to go to jail.
Stewey.
Zeus: Come on.
I just gotta get this.
Here we go.
Lights out.
Sleep well, boys.
Man over radio: We've got reports
of a struggle at 5737 Red Maple,
reported by the neighbor
across the street. Over.
God rest ye, merry gentlemen,
let nothing you dismay
Remember Christ our Savior
was born on Christmas day.
(Zeus barking)
Whoa whoa, easy.
Fellows, what took you so long?
Whoa whoa whoa,
just calm down. Nice nice.
I don't have any treats either.
Give him a treat.
Give him some gum.
I've got some gum.
Gum?
(Zeus barking)
Whoa, easy, boy.
Excuse me, what's going on here?
I'm George Bannister. I live here.
George buddy, I did it.
I stopped them.
- There was an attempted robbery.
- We received a call from your neighbor.
- The woman with the white cat.
- A white cat?
If it wasn't for your dog,
these guys would have gotten away.
Zeus: All in a day's work.
Oh my gosh.
Wait, the dog?
Really?
He's a hero, honey.
You're a hero, Zeus.
Zeus: Sorry about the mess, guys.
If I had hands, I'd clean it up myself.
Let's get him out of the way.
Zeus: And let that be a lesson to you...
never resist arrest.
Oh, and by the way,
I talked to Santa...
you're both getting coal
in your stocking this year.
Jeez.
(grunting)
Whoa whoa whoa.
I can't believe he's barking.
- Yay, he's barking, he's barking!
- Tell him to put a sock in it already.
Of course he's barking, honey.
These dogs are so highly trained
and intelligent,
they're trained to bark
and not to bark.
Right now
he happens to be barking.
You were right.
He came through when it counted.
I told you he just needed
a little chance, that's all.
Zeussy, you saved Christmas.
- Yeah, he did.
- Aw, thanks. I love you guys.
Just Zeus, honey.
I got him.
Take this clown. Let's go.
You're going to jail.
Ow.
Don't say anything.
Zeussy boy!
Zeus: Hey, Ben, Kara,
I missed you guys.
- Kara: Come here, Zeussy.
- Ben: Zeussy boy, how are you doing?
- We missed you so much.
- Come on, Zeussy.
- Mr. Bannister.
- Yeah?
You know, we could really use
a dog like Zeus down at the precinct.
How about it, Mr. Bannister?
Would you consider letting us adopt him?
Come on, Mom,
can we please keep Zeussy?
Yeah, Mommy,
we want to keep Zeussy.
Zeus: Sorry, Officers, but I'm retired
and living the good life now.
Well, looks like he's become
a part of the family.
Yeah, what do you think, Zeus?
Do you want to become a police dog
or do you want to stay a Bannister?
Zeus: Zeus Bannister
has a nice ring to it.
You know what, guys?
We've been through so much with this dog
that he's got to stay
a Bannister.
- Policeman: We understand.
- Sorry about that.
Well, Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas. Bye.
(police siren wailing)
- Hi.
- Hi there.
I'm George Bannister.
This is my family.
Well, I'm Mildred.
This is Chegwee.
- Hi, Mildred.
- Nice to meet you finally.
- You too.
- Hey.
Annie?
Millie?
Oh my goodness.
You guys know each other?
Singles night
at the karaoke bar.
We won first place.
Hava nagila,
hava nagila.
That is wild.
- Is this your family?
- Yes, it is.
Oh, for heaven's sake.
Oh my God, who's this?
- This is Chegwee.
- Hi, Chegwee.
I owe it all to you, Millie.
It turns out you can teach
an old dog new tricks.
Well, you're welcome
for egg-nog, if you'd like.
Oh, come on, yeah,
have some egg-nog with us.
I can't believe it.
I haven't seen you in so long.
We gotta go back and do this.
I mean, you were, like, my best partner.
Nobody else could sing like me,
off key.
George,
look at the mess.
I know, honey.
We were robbed,
so this is what it's gonna
look like.
Honey, but let's try to relax
and enjoy the evening.
I mean, it is Christmas Eve, okay?
We'll take care of this later.
Okay.
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
I think I hear carolers.
Me too.
We wish you a merry Christmas
and a happy new year.
Ah, look at this.
Belinda: Come on.
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you
a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
And a happy new year
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you
a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
And a happy new year
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you
a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
And a happy new year.
Merry Christmas to all,
and to all a good night.
George, it just seems...
- stop it.
- I know, it's me. It's not you.
Okay okay okay.
I think he's become... what?
- I'm good. I'm good.
- Okay okay okay.
Now where do I put these?
Oh, anywhere, sweetheart.
Anywhere your little heart desires.
You want to put that up top there?
Yeah, that's good,
but, honey, we're trying
to make it look prettier, you know,
Just a little prettier.
But that's okay. It was a good try.
Ow. Agh!
(man laughing)
- (farts)
- Oh, shh.
(laughing)
- Woof woof.
- Ruff.
Sleep in heavenly peace...
(muttering)
Sleep
You can sleep.
You can sleep.
Sleep in heavenly
Peace.
Come on, Stewey, come on.
(laughs)
How about half a dog
with two legs?
(muttering)
- Okay.
- Girl: George!
- George.
- George.
- George.
- Okay.
Hmm, I don't know if I want
to visit those kids.
They're not very happy. Well, they
must have done something wrong.
Man: Okay, I gotta stop.
(laughing)
Woman: Somebody's gotta stop.
(crash)
You all right?
Just what I thought...
no expression means Bannister.
- Okay, we understand.
- Thank you very much.
All right, here we go.
Come on, come on.
Stop it.
Okay.
Come on, come on.
Belinda, trust me, okay?
These...
Trust me.
Belinda, trust me.
Okay, honey?
These K-9 police dogs are so highly...
what's the matter?
Okay.
Okay.
Belinda, trust me.
Look at this little guy.
Yeah, you're a cute one, aren't you?
Oh, yeah.
You're so cute.
You're so cuddly.
Look at you.
(dog barking)
Argh! You okay?
Don't touch the dog.
(laughing)
That's it.
(crew laughing)
Do I ask too much?
Do I pray too hard?
Crossing all my paws
Wishing on a star
That someday there'll be
A home for me
And they'll call my name
and they'll really see
Who I truly am in my heart
Christmas, Merry Christmas
The most magical time
of the year
Christmas, let love find me
I'll kiss their face,
I'll wag my tail
I'll strut my stuff
bringing in the mail
Well, I wait
and I believe
Deep in my heart
I'm right here with you
And that someday
My Christmas dream
Can come true
On this Christmas Eve
don't need Santa's toys
I have one request:
To find my voice
Not to be afraid,
to have the faith
This old K-9
has what it takes
Can I dig real deep
And can I make them proud?
And can I rise above
Memories and doubt?
Christmas, Merry Christmas
The most magical time
of the year
Christmas, let love find me
And I'll stand up tall
and I'll be so strong
And I'll keep the watch,
see them through the storm
Well, I'll wait
And I'll believe
Deep in my heart
I'm right here with you
And that someday
my Christmas dream
Can come true
Don't need candy canes
underneath the tree
Or a Milk-Bone mountain
that's five feet deep
At leash that's made
of solid gold
A diamond collar
to call my own
Just somebody who
will throw a bone
Play fetch together
all day long
The bestest friend
in a furry coat
And I won't be left out
in the cold
Christmas, Merry Christmas
The most magical time
of the year
Christmas, let love find me
I'll kiss your face,
I'll wag my tail
I'll strut my stuff
bringing in your mail
I'll find my voice,
and when I do
I'll stand by
every one of you
And so I'll wait
And I'll believe
in my heart...