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The Doom Generation (1995)
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Hi, Amy You got any crystal? Fuck off Shit, who pissed in your Fruit Loops? Peanut, why don't you go passionately fuck yourself? Yuk, you're all sweaty. Whatcha lookin' for? My skull lighter. I swear, if it's missing, I'll slit my wrists. Now that would be a great loss to the human race. Sit and spin. That guy has the intelligence of a stool sample. He's OK. I think he's got brain damage. But he's OK. This place is so fucking boring I wish someone would burn it to the ground. Let's just get the fuck out of here. Wanna go to Heaven? Go ahead and stick it inside. Jordan, put your dick in me. I'm tryin'... I'm sorry. I just... What? I'm afraid of catching AIDS. But we're both virgins. Where's the fuckin cigarettes? I dunno what it is, but... I feel really weird tonight Like something's gonna happen Me too. Do you love me? Yeah. Totally. Why? It's just... "I love you" can mean a lot of things, like "You'll do till someone better comes along" "I can't describe how I really feel..." "But I know I'm supposed to say this" or "Shut up", "I'm watchin' TV"... Are you stoned? I think sometimes this city is sucking away my soul. Like yesterday I was stuck in this humongous traffic jam on the 405 freeway and I just couldn't wait to get to the dead bodies lying there on the bloody asphalt. All I cared about was getting out and moving again... I know I feel like a gerbil smothering in Richard Gere's butthole. There just is no place for us in this world. Hey, get off my fucking car! Wake up, cocksucker! It's time to die. Yo, bitch, would you just go?! Get your fucking hands off my car! Goddamn motherfucker I swear, if there is one dent in the door one scratch in the paint... What the fuck're you talking about? This car is older than you and your jaibait boyfriend here combined I love this car. Oh my god, you're bleeding all over the upholstery! Jesus, don't potty in your panties about it. Jordan, he is bleeding all over my upholstery! It's OK Amy, he's cleanin' it up. You alright, man? Yeah. I'm totally into getting the fuck beat out of me and slicin' up my own fuckin leg... You are really fuckin rude. Y'know that? Hey, that's my shirt. Oh... sorry It's cool. Go ahead Use it That is so gross. What's your name, anyway Xavier What? That's the stupidest fuckin name I've ever heard. Is it cool if I just call you "X"? I can't really pronounce all that... Only if I get to call you "Nutlicker" If bullshit were music, you'd be a big brass band What's with your lady here, Jordo? Terminal PMS? - Fuck you. - No. Fuck you Get out of my fucking car! C'mon, Amy. He didn't mean it. He's just jokin' around... Right X? Tell her... Yeah, Amy. Don't get your uterus all tied in a knot. Listen, gism-breath. I want you out of my fucking car right this fucking second. I'm not kidding, Scumfuck. Get. Lost. You're, uh... Giving me an erection. You're repugnant. OK, Miss America. You win... Beam me up, Scotty. Later, gator. Hey, what about my shirt? Thanks, X. My pleasure, Nutlicker. Will you marry me? Hey you don't have to decide immediately... Hey! You think about it Sleep on it, honey!... I swear, Amy You can be so harsh. I dunno, he seemed cool. Kinda strange maybe... He was an anus-face. What were we talkin' about the other day, About trying to be less judgemental of people?... Fuck that. I'm starvin'. Stop at the next QuickieMart, 'K? Sure y'don't want anything? I'm speeding, remember? Hey. No smoking here Hey, hey, girlie... you pick up. Eat my fuck. Pick up, girlie I'm so sure We happy? 6 dollar, 66 cent That's weird. Must've fallen out in the car... I'll pay you right back... oh fuck... ...The Scumfuck. You fuckin kook. We left our wallets in the car. Let me just run out and... What're you gonna do, shoot us? Some kind of joke - like "Candid Camera" or something? I mean, what is this, some kind of joke - like "Candid Camera" or something? Scram. What the fuck d'you think you're doing? Saving your fucking life. Did I ask you for any big favors, huh? Would you please just get the fuck out of here? Jordan, he is getting us into Deep Shit. Would you just get the hell out of here? Come on! ...Would you just fuckin chill??! ...his head. His head, man. It was talkin'... I think, we're probably cool. Imean, that weirdo gook lady with the machete probably doesn't even speak english... I think everything's gonna be fine. What the fuck d'you mean "everything's gonna be fine"? You just blew somebody's fucking head off! You know, you gotta be the little pessimist all the time, don't you? Little Miss Gloom and Doom. Well, fuck you. You were there, you were both there with me... and read my lips we're in this together. I fry, we all fry... Blow it out your crusty rectum, loser. We don't know you, we barely just met you, and we certainly don't like you. You're fucking crazy ...and you're ugly besides. I love you too, darling. His fuckin head... it was in the relish 'n' onions 'n' it was talkin'... I mean, don't y'think you oughta call your mom or something? Tomorrow. What? Mommy and Daddy'll be all worried about their baby girl? My mom used to be a heroin addict; now she's a Scientologist. My old man's dead. Oh, sorry. I'm not. He was a bloated, alkie pig who was always trying to molest me. What 'bout you? My folks live in Encino. My mom shot my dad then killed herself when I was twelve. I'm taking a bath. I love this show, man. S'how Long've you 'n' Princess Leia been a happy little couple? Fuck a long time Three months No way. Most of my relationships, they last about three days or... three hours. Yeah, relationships bite. Wow. Righteous tattoo. I been wantin' one forever but I can't decide on a design I like enough to, y'know wear on my body for like the rest of my life. It's a big commitment. I sure do like yours alot though... I gotta take a whiz. I must piss. Now some of this next footage may be too gruesome for some audience members so viewer discretion is advised... Police say that the severed head of QuickieMart proprietor, Nguyen Kok-Suk, was still talking when it was discovered, at approximately 2:39 am, by a Jerseymaid deliveryman... ...And the San Fernando Valley Sheriffs Department is still investigating the bizarre, ritualistic slaying of his wife and children as well... It appears that the shopkeeper's wife, was so distraught over the slaying of her husband that she took the lives of her children, disemboweling them... Wait just a second there... disemboweling them? Yes, Chet, dis-em-boweling them The police so far have only one clue to the identity of Mr. Suk's murderer or murderers... This skull earring the type sold most frequently in rock'n'roll paraphernalia shops often worn by homosexuals, satanists, and members of other dangerous cult groups... Hold it, Sandy.Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't lots of people, especially trendy teenagers following the latest "fad", kids who are otherwise perfectly "normal", don't they wear earrings similar to the one shown here? Yes, well, Chet, that is a problem... Smooth move, ex-lax. Pinch the bridge of your nose. Pinch it there... I'm so fuckin hungry I can eat my leg. How 'bout a little foodular action? Welcome to Carnoburger May I have your orders please? Gimme the Slop-O-Rama Bellybuster no onions A Passion Fruit Slurpster and aside Curly Q fries I have some Barbecue Beef Chunks Some Fried Cheeseballs And an Evian Diet coke. Extra large. She never eats when she does crystal Shut up That's be all? I've lost my earring That'd be... 6 $ 66. Please pull forward to the window Jordan, I'm sure. We're like in this total predicament and you're worried about losing a fucking earring? It's got sentimental value My mom gave it to me when I finally passed algebra/trig You can relax your royal sphincter muscle, your highness. The crazy machette lady offed herself and her kids so there are no witnesses left. What? They're all dead. It was on the news. You're so full of sheep excrement it's not even funny I saw it on TV, so it's gotta be true, right? Yeah what if dead guy's head is still talking? And he tell the cops everything? Grossify me Six sixty-six Sunshine? Gimme some money Sunshine, is that you? I think you must've me mixed up with someone else Gonad-face, give me some money Don't lie to me now I know it's you Look, you fucking chunky pumpkinhead! I don't know what the fuck you're talking about! Would you just give me some fucking money? You said you loved me... You said, you'd never leave me... It this Night of the Living Brain-dead? Wake up and smell the cappucino, geek I don't know you, I've never fucking seen you before, I don't know who the fuck this 'Sunshine' is! You little whore You broke my fucking heart! Come on, Sunshine give the poor guy a break Shut the fuck up and give me some motherfucking money! Ain't it nice? I figure, if I can't have you, no one will Hey Bartholomew, what's going on? The bitch I will find her and I will kill her Is it fucking full moon or what? What the fuck is going on? You shouldn't have broken his little old achey heart like that, Sunshine Cram it, ass-crack We wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for you Mellowize thyself, fishwich Ever considered cuttin' down on your crystal intake a bit? Cripes I have had it with you! Don't worry, Amy We're here, we're safe, everything is cool Jordan, I just wanna go home and forget this whole entire nightmare It's alright, Amy, really In the morning, we'll figure it all out Yeah, sure I'm gonna get ready for bed brush your teeth before you turn in, otherwise you'll have cheese-breath I get the feeling Amy doesn't like me very much Don't take it personal, X She's just a little... aloof, till you get to know her I've never seen a tattoo there before Touch it Go ahead Indulge Where is she? Where is my little dandelion flower? Tell me where she is or you'll gonna have a mangled stump in place of that fairy face o' yours Tell me where she is, you fucking slimy piece of queerbait! I'm right here, lovebucket My pearly-doo drops rose I missed you so much, my darling You know I could never live without you, my bumpkins I've been dreaming of this moment for months Come on! My pants My babycakes! My cuddlemuffin! Please, please, don't leave me again! Get a fuckin life, dogbreath Come back! Babycake! Ever feel like reality is more twisted than dreams? Not again My fucking arm! I want it back Son of a bitch Jam on it, girlfriend! Get that fucking thing out of my car! I'm trying! What d'you think... You are my one true love What is with you? Do you have to kill someone every fuckin time we stop the car?! Well, pardon me for rescuing your ingrate ass twice in the same night, You don't care about anything, do you? You have no guilt, no remorse? You murdered two people tonight Doesn't that faze you at all? Yeah, I'm bummed To the max But it's not like I've never done it before Excuse me? How many people've you..? Just a few and all of 'em deserved it or wore a uniform Like my first, this ugly sow of a parking cop Y'know how they're so full of themselves, they got their fuckin badge, they think they're all bad Well, this one lardass cunt tickets me for bein' in a red zone for like ten seconds So I'm there in the street arguin' with her 'n' she's just smiling away, writin' me up I grabbed the bitch by her kinky 'fro and started poundin' her head into the hood of her nice white Parking Pig-mobile and then, I slammed the door on her skull a buncha times until she was dead La mort History God, would take a reality pill Hey, I still got the scar Teethmarks from where the bitch bit me I tell you, those cops are like goddamned savage animals ...and some nachos That'd be six sixty six All hail the Coffee and Cigarette God Where's my change? Drop dead, dunghead No Zagnut bars? Life is a chewy shit sandwich What now? Go fetch me some Zagnut bars, wench Fuck you You already have You are such the prick I'm gonna strangle you! I hate you! He's a liar Y'know that, don't you? It doesn't matter Even if I did get together with him, and this isn't saying I did or anything, but if I did, y'know that it wouldn't actually mean anything, I mean y'know that I really only love you, right? Whatever, Amy I wish that we could ditch him someplace, Jordan Just get rid of him and forget he ever existed He's not so bad I mean, he's sorta like us Lost, like he doesn't fit in He scares me, Jordan Like I don't know what it is, there's something evil about him Don't be a cornnut C'mon finish your breakfast Then let's get me some clothes I feel like a fuckin frat boy in this toga Be right back What's with you? You act like somebody ate your pet hamster Well, duh I am so pissed at you I could rip your testicles off and staple them to your ankles What the fuck did you have to go and tell Jordan for? Tell him what? What d'you think, doorknob? That we got together Well, didn't you utterly dig it? That is not the point What is the point then? Get it: Guilt is for married, old people You are incredible. You aren't even human, are you? You're like a life support system for a cock This is so fuckin cher Look'it this thing I mean, check it out Let me see Can I? Be my guest Jesus, it's a fuckin belt Don't tard out over it Mon, dad It's me I'm uh, sorta takin' a little vacation with Amy right now and uh Fuckin machine hung up on me I'm thirsty What d'you pick? Shit! Jordan, would you listen to me for a second and forget about that dweeby game? Sheesh, Amy, what's the national emergency? Jordan, would you kindly pull your head out of your rectal region? We're accessories to two homicides Doesn't that concern you in the fuckin least? Kitten, is that you? Don't you recognize me? It's me Brandi Your eternal loveslave Your slave Look, lady, I don't know who you are Has this guy shot you full of dope and brainwashed you like the others? You're high, aren't you? - It's me, honeycakes! - Let me go! I know it's you, I can smell your perfume Get your fucking clammy hands off me, you crazy bitch!!! He's kidnapped you, right? And he told you he'd kill you if you act like you knew me Well, don't fret, darlin' Brandi's here I'll save you from this heathen I'm gonna lop his dick off like a chicken head I can't leave you guys alone for a minute, can I? Oh God, Bruce I'm sorry But that was her, it was Kitten I know it, I know it was her The bitch I'm gonna find her And I'm gonna kill This is so nice Lying here like two spoons stacked in a drawer I hope we die simultaneously, like in a fiery car wreck or nuclear bomb-blast or something You are so romantic No, for reals I don't ever wanna have to miss you Ditto Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream Merrily, merrily, merrily Life is but a dream Don't you think sex is totally strange? Just the whole idea of it, this tube of flesh gets stiff and inserted in these warm, squishy places I think maybe it's more powerful than we'd like it to be It's fuckin trippy, that's for sure It's kinda like eating spaghetti Why? You are so great Hey, that reminds me I'm hongry You're always "hongry" That's cuz I'm a growin' boy I'm gonna walk to the AM/PM and get some Shrimp Nuggets or something Want anything? More cigarettes Yes, dear I love you, fucker Me too, fucker Whatchawatchin'? Come here I wanna play a game I'm gonna start counting If you crack a smile before I get to eight, I get to strangle you If you don't, I have to do anything you say Seven-and-a-half You win Go ahead I'll take these too Six sixty-six What's Jordan's like? What? Y'know, his engorged member His tumescent love missle His throbbing purple meat scepter Why d'you wanna know? I don't know I'm curious It's alright, it's fine What d'you mean 'fine'? Is it the size of vienna sausage or like a baby's arm? Is it cut, is it uncut? Does it lean to the left? Does it lean to the right? Does it go in a southeasterly direction? Is it curved, is it straight, Where you been? Nowhere I was worried about you, dufus Sorry Come over here Y'know just because he and I It doesn't mean that I'm really like all that whatever I know This the currency we've linked to the December 17th QuickieMart robbery/homicide in Tarzana The suspects a paramilitary brigade of three youths appear to be on a freewheeling crime spree heading north We've run a fingerprint check through the Mother Computer in DC and thusfar have ID'd one of the suspects Amy Blue Age 18 Height: five-one Weight: ninetytwo pounds Eyes: Hazel Hair: Brown Cumulative SAT score: Should be considered armed and dangerous Gentlemen, I want you to find her And if necessary Kill her G'morning Don't kiss me My breath is like totally skanky Wait till I brush my teeth Know what? What? This is the first time we've ever slept together and woken up together In a real bed, I mean You are the bright red cherry on top of my sundae Goofball Rise and shine, monkeybutt The itsy bitsy spider went up the waterspout Down came the rain Washed the spider out I have died and gone to hell for my sins It's the Dawning of A Brand New Day Suck my stump to a bloody lump What're you two homos gabbing about now? Have either of you ever done it with an animal? What? Have either of you had sex with an animal? Just you This song always reminds me of Scooter Who's Scooter? He was like my best friend all through high school One day he brought a gun to physics class and told everyone he was gonna shoot himself in the bathroom And he did He was always depressed, always pulling shit like that, so nobody believed him Death's funny Like at first, it's all weird 'n' you're bummed 'n' shit - like this person you're used to hangin' out with all of sudden doesn't like exist anymore But then you just get over it 'n' move on It's almost for the best I mean, Scooter was so sad all the time Me and him used to sit in my room, gettin' stoned, listening to the Smiths he was over the night before he killed himself right in the middle of "Unloveable", he just started cryin' like crazy He was really into the Smiths Hey Amy, remember the time we were so fucked up we lost my mom's car? After the Thrill Kill Kult concert? We were so trashed we couldn't remember where we left the car We looked and looked and we walked around and around but we could not find the fucking thing to save our life! We finally ended up taking a cab home Which you puked in Which you puked in! Wait How revolting Amy? What? Oh fuck Do something Like what? I don't know Something What, do look like a fuckin veterinarian? What're you doing?! Jesus fucking Christ The world sucks Bro, snag the import It's got extra tracks I just wish I could crawl in here and disappear forever Don't you have that at home already? I miss my records Well, well, well, men Lookee here Check out that hot, tight bubble-butt, George Oh stop, Dan I'm gonna pop a boner Hey there, sailor Like your pretty earrings Leave him alone, Pat Can't you see he's a shy, sensitive flower? What's goin' on here, man? No way It can't be Bambi? Is it really you? Fuck It's me, George Your poopsie, Your snugglybear Look, smegma-breath I'm not whoever the fuck you think I am So will you just do me a favor and evacuate? Don't do this Fuck this shit Please Dig it... Someone made the bed I just hope we don't catch crabs or something Life is lonely, boring, and dumb Jordan, y'want heads, or tails? Whatever Heads Tails Heads Oh well There any more beer? In the trunk Have fun "Schoobie, schoobie, schmoke a doobie" You're up to bat Don't tell me you hogged all the brewskis Go fer it, boyo do you like slamdancing? It's alright except when you get someone's elbow in your eye, or their steel-toed boot in your crotch Why? Have you ever, I mean, does it like all those bodies, all that sweating 'n' pushing 'n' shoving Does it give me a hard-on? Yeah, always I, uh, better Do you ever wonder what the meaning of our existence is? You ever wonder why we exist? No, what for? No reason Shit What? What is it? I gotta pee Right now? It's not like I want to get up 'n' go out into the fuckin freezing cold y'know, but when Nature calls, it fucking hollers Just go ahead and let 'er rip That is so vile and beastly I can't believe any human being could even conceive of it Jeez, little Miss Polly Pureheart You are a demon from hell Girls have no sense of adventure I guess What the fuck?? Two little faggots sittin' in a bed, One eatin' ass, 'n the other givin' head Dirty, pervert scum make me see red The world'll be a purer place when they're both dead X, man, if this is your idea of a... Shut up Leave her alone! Dan Please fire up our favorite song I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America to the Republic For which it stands One Nation Under God Indivisible Leave her the fuck alone! With Liberty And Justice You fuckin bitch You're gonna pay for that, Bambi You fucking asshole! Stop it! Just be patient, honey You'll get yours That's what your mom said Don't you ever Talk about my mother like that! You... you... You, dude, are going to die And you, Bambi you lying filthy fucking slut are gonna watch me help your little fairy boytoy shuffle off this mortal coil Kiss your puny, worthless cock Goodbye Any last words, queer? Amy I love y... Wanna Dorito? |
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