[MUSIC PLAYING]
NANA [VOICEOVER]: There was a
saying in my village
when I was a girl that a laugh
is like wine.
Just enough makes happiness.
Too much makes a fool.
Years after I first heard this,
I came to know two such fools.
Nick and Alicia were born under
the same moon in the same month
of the same year.
Their fathers owned vineyards in
the same valley in America.
There was another-- a poor boy
named
Johnny Anselmi who worked in the
fields for Alicia's father.
Johnny was everything Nick was
not.
He was hard working, and he
loved Alicia the way
the soil loved her father's
grapes.
And as we all know, what is in
the soil is in the grape.
And the what is in the grape is
in the wine.
[CHILDREN LAUGHING]
It was the hope of both families
that Nick and Alicia
would fall in love and marry,
and
the two vineyards would be one.
But God had different plans.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Johnny and Alicia grew up
together
as best friends, which is
exactly
what a man must never be--
Hello, ladies.
Hi, Nick.
NANA [VOICEOVER]: --to the woman
he wants.
Johnny was Alicia's rock.
But Nick Di Cenzo was her fire.
What is wrong you, huh?
- I'm not talking to you. - No,
you're not talking to me.
You're talking [INAUDIBLE].
GIRL: She's so jealous.
There you go now. Here we go.
NANA [VOICEOVER]: Their hearts
ached with a blazing passion
reserved for the young.
When Nick told her he was going
off to join
the army to see the world--
I've already made this
[INAUDIBLE]..
NANA [VOICEOVER]: --Alicia had
mixed feelings.
[SLAP]
Again with the slapping.
Always with the slapping.
Alicia!
NANA [VOICEOVER]: What the young
do
not know is that there is a
difference
between passion and love.
[CRYING]
NANA [VOICEOVER]: What the young
do not know is a lot.
Oh, I'm sorry, gents.
That's what we call a full
house.
Ah.
Oh, god.
Oh.
NANA [VOICEOVER]: No one knew
where the ring came from.
NICK: Whose is this?
NANA [VOICEOVER]: None of the
other soldiers admitted
to putting it on the table.
SOLDIER: Beats me.
NANA [VOICEOVER]: And yet, there
it was.
[THUNDER]
Nick made up his mind.
He would send the ring to Alicia
and ask her to marry him.
If she accepted the ring, it
would be his fate.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[DOOR SQUEAKING]
[THUMP]
[RUSTLING]
Do you feel that?
MAN: Welcome to California.
[THUMP]
MAN: Holy mashed potatoes.
[MUSIC - "JINGLE BELLS"]
NANA [VOICEOVER]: As the days
passed
and Nick heard nothing of the
ring, his love
and his family's friendship with
the Rosas turned to bitterness.
For Alicia, Nick's silence only
meant that he
had forgotten her for another.
[SPLAT]
The Rosas and the Di Cenzos
never spoke to or of each other
again.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Nick never married.
He learned to live with his
sorrow.
Alicia married her best friend,
Johnny.
Ready?
Here we go.
NANA [VOICEOVER]: And had a
daughter named Sara.
- OK. - Smile.
Look at the camera.
[FLASH]
NANA [VOICEOVER]: And all of
them lived happily ever after--
as happy as fools.
And if you believe me--
Oh, this is going to be a
nightmare.
NANA [VOICEOVER]: Then you are
the biggest the fool of all.
[CHUCKLING]
Eat a grape.
Hmm.
18-- 18.5.
That's about two and 1/2 weeks
to harvest.
18.5.
Right?
That's my girl.
[CHUCKLING] Now relax.
Just take it easy.
It's going to be a walk in the
park.
Dad, what three minutes of your
40-year
marriage with Ma has ever been a
walk in the park?
Uh, give me a minute.
[CHUCKLING] Sara, you know your
mother.
It's not what you say. It's how
you say it.
OK. So the part about the Di
Cenzos.
How do I say that?
You don't say it.
Right.
Just give her the broad
strokes, you know?
Broad strokes?
How about we're going to partner
up with some investors
and risk everything we own.
How about that?
I think that's a little too
broad.
I'll just say, Ma, sit down.
Shut up.
Sign papers. JOHNNY: That's very
good.
Yeah?
Brian will be there at 1:00, OK?
Don't be late. I need you.
You're my partner. - I am your
partner.
SARA: You are. [SPEAKING
ITALIAN]
JOHNNY: [SPEAKING ITALIAN]
[CLICKS TONGUE] [HOOF BEATS]
JOHNNY: Pavarotti, we're going
to take care of this,
aren't we? Huh?
[PAVAROTTI WHIMPERS] Sing with
me.
Sing with me. [HOWLING]
[PAVAROTTI HOWLING]
[BOTH HOWLING]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
No, that's not gonna work.
OK, so [INAUDIBLE].
Where have you been?
Did you get the boards?
OK.
Business class is fine.
Yeah. Hi.
- Get the boards? - They're in
the car.
You're not going to say hello
first?
I am. Hello.
We need those visuals.
- Here's the proposal. - Good.
I have the boards, color
charts, our board projections,
and a letter from the Pope.
SARA: You know what?
These are too technical.
Dad said just give her the broad
strokes.
BRIAN: I can talk a group of
investors out of $2.5 million.
I can get your mother to partner
with them.
Yeah, well, your investors
don't have
a history with the Di Cenzos.
Don't worry.
It'll work out.
Where are you going?
Gonna get the boards.
Yeah, OK.
Yeah, that's good.
See, Alicia, 10 years ago, this
was all Angelotti's.
This, the Russo's.
And this, Gimignano's.
Now this is all Kendall Jackson.
This-- all Mondavi.
I know.
But a wine you want to call
ammonia.
People don't drink ammonia.
They clean with it.
SARA: Ma, it's our Armonia.
It's the name of the investment
group--
Armonia investment group.
Brian?
If you look at page seven on
the prospectus--
JOHNNY: Brian, keep with the
broad strokes.
Yeah, give me what he said.
[PHONE RINGING]
- Yeah, Aggie. - It's not Aggie.
It's Alicia.
- No, not you. - Who?
Me? When?
You? BRIAN: No, no.
No. I can't do Wednesday.
ALICIA: You know, Sara, just
before your grandfather died--
when he went, uh--
it was just like this
BRIAN: OK.
Tell him I'll reschedule.
Sorry, Alicia.
Brian, could you--
[THUMP]
ALICIA: Partners-- why do we
need partners?
This is a family business.
SARA: Mom, I'm having trouble
getting
distributors to pay attention to
us because we're too small.
If we don't expand, that whole
map is going to be one color.
And that's 100 years of Rosa
family
history just disappearing.
BRIAN: Basically it's eat or be
eaten.
ALICIA: I know, but investors--
corporations.
It's so cold.
Johnny.
JOHNNY: It's a different world
now, Al.
And if we're going to be
thinking
about Sara and her kids--
And Brian.
JOHNNY: Yeah, and Brian.
Ma, what would Pop have done?
JOHNNY: Al, she doesn't talk.
ALICIA: She talks.
She can talk as good as you.
She just won't do it.
Why not? ALICIA: I don't know.
Ever since Pop died.
His whole life she never shut
up.
Now when I want her to talk, I
get Harpo Marx.
SARA: Ma, could we just focus on
the--
ALICIA: OK.
This additional 150 acres--
where are they?
Dad, do you want to--
Well, I think Brian probably
knows the map
a little better than me.
BRIAN: Well actually, Sara found
the properties.
Um-- you know, there's this
additional property.
Yeah.
SARA: Well, you know how hard it
is to find old vines.
And when the old man died, he
left it to his brother
Nick and his son Tony.
ALICIA: Don't say another word.
No.
The Di Cenzos?
No.
SARA: [SIGHING]
BRIAN: [EXHALING]
[STOMPING]
[EXHALING]
[RIP]
OK.
Well, that didn't work.
SARA: [SIGHING]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
To my little brother Charlie.
To Pop.
[CLINK]
[CHUCKLING]
I'm renting a truck.
Anything we don't want, I
thought
I'd take down to the church.
Ah, this is all that's left of
the Di Cenzos, eh?
You, me, and this room that's
full of things.
Memories.
Oh, my mother.
This was hers.
I remember her hands in this
bowl, mixing the arancini.
TONY: You want the bowl, Uncle
Nick?
Take the bowl.
What am I going to do with a
bowl?
It's got a crack in it, too.
You want it? - No.
Eh, I don't blame you.
Junk.
So where are you thinking of
settling?
You staying here or you going
back to Europe?
TONY: Well, after we get
everything packed up and sold,
I'm heading down to Los Angeles.
Gonna open my own restaurant.
[BLOWING] LA.
Oofa.
The women are all too skinny,
with the fake boobs
and the surprised look--
[SPEAKING ITALIAN]
And now this--
[POUNDING TABLE]
This is something you can get
your hands around, eh?
[SPEAKING ITALIAN]
[SPEAKING ITALIAN]
Look at the rear end that's
built for speed, eh?
[LAUGHING] Now this-- this you
didn't get from your dad, eh?
This you got from me.
[LAUGHING]
Ah, your Dad.
He always was after you to
settle down, eh?
Mm.
You know what, Uncle Nick?
You can get a piece of lasagna
make you go straight to heaven.
Mm.
TONY: Then you'll get that same
lasagna,
breakfast, lunch, dinner--
after about three days, you want
to kill yourself,
you don't get a little veal
scaloppine soon.
You know what I mean?
Salute, scaloppine.
Salute.
Hey, you want this?
What is it?
I don't know.
Sure, I'll take it.
Oh, look.
What is that?
It's the book from your
father's wake.
All the people who paid their
respect.
Look at this.
Wow.
So many people.
NICK: Everybody but the Rosas.
Yeah.
Well, you wouldn't have let them
in.
Eh.
Well, they should have had the
decency to show
up so I coulda thrown them out.
You know, you lay down with
dogs, you wake up with fleas.
TONY: What, the Rosas gave you
fleas?
Eh.
I don't want to talk about it.
ALICIA: I don't want to talk
about it.
I will not touch the Di Cenzo
land.
It's poison.
Poison.
I spit on that land.
[SPITTING]
Ma, the Di Cenzos have the best
Merlot grapes in the valley.
That's true, Al.
Poison.
But with our Cab, the blend
would be a gold mine.
I would never even set foot on
that land,
let alone give those miserable
skeeves one dime for it.
It's my dream, Ma.
Oh, yeah?
I had a dream once, too.
I dreamed I was giving an
elephant
a haircut in the living room.
I need those grapes.
[SPEAKING ITALIAN] Johnny, you
gotta trim in here.
Dad.
[PHONE RINGING]
This is Brian.
Yeah.
Yeah, I did.
I love it, but I can't talk now.
OK.
I'll call you later.
What's so funny?
I was just thinking.
You know, life is so strange.
I remember when the Di Cenzos
were big.
Merlot, Cabernet.
Franc-- couldn't touch it. -
Yeah.
Big shots.
Remember the old lady?
Remember how she hired that poor
woman
to do her ironing like she was
the Queen of England?
[CHUCKLING]
ALICIA: Big deal. $2 a week.
Yeah.
And now somebody's going to buy
that place
and wipe the name Di Cenzo from
the land.
ALICIA: For years, they looked
down their noses at us.
You know, Johnny, we should be
those people.
JOHNNY: Wow.
Vengeance is no reason to buy
land.
ALICIA: We wouldn't be buying
the place for vengeance.
You heard Sarah.
The land is good.
Poison, you said.
Ah.
What are you, crazy?
The Di Cenzo grapes were once
the greatest of the valley.
Right, Sara?
Well, we could get some old
vines in Sonoma.
No, no.
If I'm going to consent to this
new direction,
I will only do it if we buy the
Di Cenzo place.
No, no.
It's better to have no dealings
with the Di Cenzos.
No dealings.
We simply buy the land and burn
every trace
of the miserable [SPEAKING
ITALIAN]
that ever lived there.
Broad strokes.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[LAUGHING]
My father is such a genius.
- 40 years experience. - Yeah.
Let's celebrate, huh?
I'll take a rain check.
No, I want you to spend the
night.
I can't.
I have an 8:00 in Sausalito.
Don't forget to go to Tom to
sign the prenup.
Wait a minute.
I thought we were doing that
tomorrow.
I already signed.
Oh, I want to do that together,
you know?
Try to make it more romantic.
No.
I got to stop by the office
tonight.
Crap.
Well, congratulations. - OK.
[KISS] Thanks.
Bye.
SARA: Bye.
[PHONE RINGING]
Oh.
Hey, this is Brian.
Hello?
I love you.
[CAR STARTING]
Hey, I can't hear you.
You're breaking up. Just
kidding.
[CHUCKLING]
[SIGHING]
ALICIA: Johnny.
I got [INAUDIBLE] from this.
JOHNNY: Oh, yeah?
You want a glass of water?
ALICIA: Yeah.
You know, Sara knows what she's
doing.
[EXHALING] It's a big risk.
Remember what she was like when
she was five years old?
Eh?
You tell her, don't go in the
pond.
And we find her in the ocean.
Eh?
And then later when she was 12
years old
and I didn't want her to drive
the truck, you remember that?
And she taught herself how to
hot wire the ignition.
I died 1,000 deaths.
JOHNNY: I remember.
The point is, whatever you tell
her she can't do,
bet your money that is exactly
what she's going to do.
And this, my darling wife, she
did not get from me.
Johnny.
Yeah?
When we go to sign the papers--
Yeah.
I want to do it separate.
I don't want to be in the same
room with Nick Di Cenzo.
OK.
[EXHALING]
NICK: It's an ammonia company?
You gonna make a ammonia out of
my grapes?
No.
That's a typo.
It's the-- it's Armonia.
The Armonia investment group out
of Sacramento.
[SPEAKING ITALIAN]
A bunch of lawyers want to make
wine.
I guess they think it's
romantic.
Romantic, eh?
Picking dead frogs out of
grapes.
Sheeby, enough of it.
Ciao, baby.
Well, if you're comfortable
with the offer,
I could drop the papers.
Unless, of course, you have your
own lawyer you'd like to use.
Hey, Paula.
I'm here for my 10 o'clock.
I have a proctologist.
[LAUGHS]
NICK DI CENZO: You better do it.
I'll come back later.
Oh, Sarah, hold on for a
second.
Would you please pull up the
Excel--
That's OK.
[INAUDIBLE]
- I don't need to. - It's not a
problem.
I don't-- I don't want to
interrupt.
I want you to meet everybody.
Now, do we know everyone?
Have you all met Sara Anselmi?
Nick Di Cenzo.
Ah, [INAUDIBLE].
And his nephew, Tony.
Sarah Anselmi.
I remember you, from high
school.
Oh, yes. Hi.
You grew up nice.
What a relief.
You're welcome.
We were just discussing your
offer.
Your offer?
Here's your prenup.
Brian already signed it.
- Who's Brian? - Prenup?
I thought we were selling some
land.
We have to marry somebody?
Well, Sarah's family's buying
your place.
I thought it was a bunch of
lawyers out of Sacramento.
It is. Exactly.
- Yeah, you told me-- - But it's
a partnership.
Tom, we don't have to discuss
this right now.
Your family, Anselmi.
Who's your mother?
Alicia.
Alicia Rosa, exactly like the
mother.
It's in the eyes.
That fire in your eyes, I see
that and my head hurts.
Do we have some problem?
Oh no, just a little one.
I would rather take every inch
of our 150 acres
and stuff it up my woohoo than
sell it to the Rosas.
You-- you tried to hide behind
some bunch of lawyers.
No, we weren't hiding. We're
partners.
Once more, once more God saves
me from the Rosas.
Uncle Nick, calm down.
You go home and you tell your
mother this,
this is what Nick Di Cenzo gives
to the Rosas.
Fongi.
You understand?
Nothing.
No sale.
Ciao.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Excuse me.
Where did he go?
I don't know.
Probably the shoe shine.
When he's upset, he likes to get
his shoes shined.
You shouldn't have lied to us.
Lied?
Nobody lied to anybody.
Oh come on, hiding behind some
investment group?
We weren't hiding.
You know, you're not a very
trustworthy person.
That explains the prenup. -
What?
Prenup.
Well, you're getting married to
what's his name, right?
Yes, Brian.
Yeah, well see, he doesn't
trust you, either.
Brian trusts me completely.
Oh yeah, but he wants a prenup.
Brian likes to do things in an
orderly manner.
He needs-- you know what?
Why am I even telling you this?
This is none of your business.
I just fins all this very
fascinating.
Mr. Di Cenzo--
Tony, please.
Mr. Di Cenzo, we are about to
enter into a very
complex negotiation. - You and
him?
Me and you.
Me and you.
I like that.
You know, I'm sure that this
banter works
on a certain type of woman.
Rest assured, I'm not that type.
- Well, I'm open-minded.
What type are you?
I'm trying to do a business
deal with you
and you're like, hitting on me?
I have a boyfriend.
Besides the guy you're
marrying?
No wonder he doesn't trust you.
The guy I'm marrying is the
boyfriend.
Ah, simpler that way.
Look, we have put a substantial
offer
for your property on the table.
We are a legitimate buyer and I
suggest that you get your uncle
to the table to sign.
Whoa.
Did you feel that?
Welcome to California.
Hey, what's this?
Must have gotten shaken up,
huh?
It's got a postmark.
Holy mashed potatoes.
[SPEAKING ITALIAN]
Hey, Johnny.
Hey, Ben, how are you doing?
I got something for you.
Oh yeah, what is it?
You won't believe it, but the
damnedest thing happened.
Oh yeah?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Well, believe me, Tom, I wish I
knew.
It's some family history, like
an Italian whatever.
I don't know.
I just have to figure out a way
to get past it.
Tom, can I call you back?
OK, bye.
Uh, ma?
Um, this came in the mail.
I-- I didn't mean to open it,
but it was addressed
to Rosa Vineyard, so um, I--
yeah, that's for you.
Is your father in the house?
Um, no.
He's in town.
Brian?
No.
OK.
[SCREAMS]
Ma.
[SCREAMS]
40 years.
40 years I've carried this
burning knife in my breast.
This shame, vergogna.
Oh, my heart, it's going a
million miles an hour.
Give me some water, water.
No, no, wine.
Wine.
Wine.
Ma, Nick Di Cenzo.
Oh, spawn of the devil.
But 40 years ago?
I mean, how come it just came
today?
Because it is divine mercy.
God has seen fit to give me this
present before I die.
When he didn't write, I figured
that [SPEAKING ITALIAN]
had found somebody else.
40 years, Ma, I've carried this
pain in my breast.
That's so sad.
Sad?
[LAUGHS]
Sad?
I'm going to have a [INAUDIBLE].
I'm going to sing like Caruso.
[HIGH-PITCHED SINGING]
[LAUGHS]
I'm going to go downtown this
afternoon
and buy a red dress to wear to
that cockroach's funeral,
because I got him.
I got him.
I got him.
I got him.
Oh, I got him.
Ma.
[SCREAMS]
40 years I carried that he
dumped me,
but he didn't dump me.
I dumped him.
No, you didn't.
You never got the ring.
Oh, but he doesn't know it.
And if he doesn't know it, it
doesn't matter.
Is the reason this is why we
hated each other?
I got him.
Got what?
You got a 40-year-old letter and
a ring.
Nobody dumped anybody.
I got him.
In my hands today, God sent me
Nick Di Cenzo's calzones.
Ma, you got to tell him.
Are you insane?
I have the power over him now.
I got you and I didn't even know
it.
[LAUGHS]
[SCREAMS]
Ma.
He was so handsome.
I suppose he still is.
Yeah, I suppose.
He's, uh, charming.
Like the devil, but an angel.
I had such a fire for him, Sara,
and he was--
he was wild.
He was a wild thing.
He had the eye, you know.
Yeah, the nephew, too.
Oh my god.
He chased everything in a skirt.
Couldn't help himself, poor
thing.
You know, there are just men who
love women.
How can you be with someone
like that?
Because he was there, when it
was just him,
my eyes were like stars and my
skin would be hot like fire.
He would look at me, Sara, and I
couldn't breathe.
Have you have you ever felt like
that, honey?
You're scaring me, Ma.
Well, after you do, you don't
sleep good.
Well, what about dad?
Thank God Johnny.
Oh my god, thank god Johnny.
Thank God he didn't see this.
I got to get this thing out of
here.
Sara, you gotta do this for me.
No.
No, you take him aside.
You give this to him and you
say,
Alicia should thought you should
have this.
And then what? Explain what
happened?
Just say what I'm saying.
Alicia thought you should have
this.
But Ma, that would be lying.
Did I ask you to lie?
I'm just saying like a telegram.
Alicia thought you should have
this.
Stop. - That would be lying.
Do I want him to have it? Yes.
So it's the truth.
You want more truth?
And choke on it, you filthy
chucho.
Ma, he wanted you to marry him.
That's not fair.
Fair?
This is between a man and a
woman.
That has nothing to do with it.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Hi.
I was looking for your uncle.
He's got a head like titanium.
You're wasting your time.
Well, I wasn't going to talk to
him about that, exactly.
There's been a development, a
development that
might change the situation.
What kind of development?
Oh, private development.
Private?
My, my.
Is he here?
He's in the back garden, behind
the house.
Thank you.
I'm sorry about your dad.
Thanks.
Hey, you got any boxes?
I'm running out.
No.
You could get them at the
supermarket.
They have them in the back.
It must be hard packing up all
this stuff, huh?
Yeah, a lot of work.
No, I meant the--
never mind.
Oh my gosh, I haven't seen of
those in a billion years.
Oh yeah.
That was my father's.
He loved it.
You want it?
What?
Well, I'm just going to take
all this stuff down and give it
away.
If you see anything you like,
just take it.
How could you give this away?
I don't like hanging on to a
lot of stuff.
I travel light.
This is a piece of your family.
It's just a thing.
No, it's your history.
Well, what am I supposed to do
with it?
You keep it.
You put it in the attic.
And?
And I don't know, your kids
throw it away.
I don't know.
It's your roots.
Maybe everybody doesn't want to
be rooted,
ever think about that?
Look, I work in the vineyard.
All I know is you don't have
roots, you die.
Yeah, vineyards.
Come here, I want you to taste
something.
My father, he had two passions,
his opera and his wine,
his special wine, which he made
just for us.
Every Christmas, we had a
special wine.
You want to taste it?
Sure.
Get a glass.
You get that?
A hint of vanilla and
strawberry, slight oak.
A hint of chocolate.
Tastes like goat piss, doesn't
it?
Yeah, poor guy.
Grew the best grapes in the
world,
couldn't make wine to save his
soul.
That was really terrible.
He was sweet, though.
Uncle Nick's in the garden.
[GROANS]
Mr. Di Cenzo?
NICK DI CENZO: [SPEAKING
ITALIAN]
Look, I'm not changing my mind.
You seem like a nice girl, but
what you ask, I cannot do.
My mother, Alicia, thought that
you should have this.
She say anything else?
Um.
She-- she said you should have
this.
She thought that this you should
have,
was what she was thinking.
You have this.
Yes.
She was very beautiful.
She still is.
A beautiful person, I mean.
Well, gotta run now, doctor's
orders.
You know, I was hoping that now
we could
just put this all behind us.
And I'm sorry about that
misunderstanding
with the investment group.
We do have partners and we
really want to buy this land.
You want to buy this place?
Absolutely.
OK, I'll sell it to you on one
condition.
OK.
Alicia wants me to have the
ring?
She must hand it to me, from her
hand to mine,
as she should have done 40 years
ago.
Um, Mr. Di Cenzo--
She must come to me and put it
in my hand.
When she does that, I'll sell
you the land.
Well, that's enough for one day.
I need a nap.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
It's simple.
Hand the guy the ring and we buy
the land.
You're absolutely right, Brian,
except that you're
wrong because it's my mom.
Nothing is simple.
So get your dad to handle it.
If my dad ever thought he was
her second choice, my god,
it would break his heart.
No, this is between these two
nut jobs.
Then why are we meeting with
the kid?
He called.
There's something about the deal
he wants to discuss.
What deal?
We don't have a deal.
Maybe he has a solution.
Hi.
We're meeting Tony Di Cenzo.
Hey, come here.
You must be Brian.
Hi.
You're the prenup guy.
This is Mike.
He owns the place. This is
Sarah.
This is Brian. I'm Tony.
This is a fish.
What are you doing?
You speak Russian?
Funny.
If you spoke Russian, you
wouldn't
understand a word I'm saying.
Mike just loves me,
unconditionally.
This guy, we work together.
No.
Sorry.
What Mike does to fish, they
jump in the boat
if they hear he's cooking.
I get the fish.
He gets the girl.
Go sit down.
I'm going to cook your lunch.
It will knock off your rice.
[LAUGHS]
The terms of the investment
banker,
I mean, what do they mean,
really?
I like to think of myself as
kind of a profit psychologist.
Everyone has it in them to make
money.
The question is, what is it that
holds you back?
I just spend it all.
I mean, that's what it's for,
right?
So?
- What? - The fish.
Did I tell you?
I know, it's incredible.
It's like a balsamic-- -
Reduction.
What is that--
Thyme.
That's amazing.
Amazing.
Yeah, very good.
I'm like a GPS system for
finance.
You just punch in where you want
to be and I help you get there.
Tony.
Hey.
How are you?
When did you get back into
town?
A couple weeks ago.
You look terrific.
That's good, right?
Give me a call.
My home number's on the back.
Absolutely. I will.
I will.
It's great seeing you.
I have no idea who that was.
You're my hero.
Brian.
Sara tells me you wanted to
talk to us
about the nonexistent deal.
It's about the house.
What are your plans for it?
We were thinking of gutting it
and building
a storage facility.
I was wondering if we could
just leave the house out
of the nonexistent deal.
Well, we'd have to reduce the
price per acre.
We don't really need the house,
though.
Is that necessary?
The deal included the existing
structure.
Well, I mean, it's not really a
structure.
It's a house.
Honey, I've represented this
deal a certain way
to the investors.
You could just go back to them.
Can we discuss this later?
Yeah, you two discuss it.
You get back to me.
[PHONE RINGING]
Sorry, I gotta take this.
This is Brian.
He's really quite thorough.
Yes.
You know, he knows his stuff.
Yeah.
Brian and a blueberry, lethal.
A blueberry. [LAUGHS]
You know, berry thing.
Whatever it is.
You've got that feeling?
What's that?
A meal like this, all is right
with the world.
I have no idea.
- Yup. - Come on.
Where?
We've got to kiss the chef,
tradition.
- So? - Just terrible.
We hated it.
Hey, basta.
I don't make food.
I make love.
Hey, I helped with the fish.
Out.
Out of my kitchen.
Back to table.
I make you special flan.
Hey, where did you two
disappear to?
Flan.
He's making us a special flan.
Oh.
That sounds great.
Wait, just wait.
Brian, you were going to tell
us that thing
about the softened dollar.
The softened dollar has put the
import
wine business into a slump.
Bad for us.
No.
No, that's good for us.
That's what I meant.
More wine?
Yes.
ALICIA ROSA ANSELMI: You what? -
We kissed.
What?
You kissed him, he kissed you?
Everybody was kissing
everybody.
I don't know, we just kind of
mashed together.
What's wrong with you?
What is wrong with you?
You're acting like a crazy
person.
You're engaged to Brian, for
God's sake.
Yeah, I know that.
You think I don't know that?
I am telling you, these Di
Cenzo men, they are bad news.
Bad news.
You got to get rid of this one
like I
got rid of the other one.
I got news for you, Ma.
You didn't get rid of anything.
What are you talking about?
He won't take the ring.
He says if you want to give it
back to him,
you got to put it in his hand in
person
or he's not going to sell us the
land.
[SPEAKING ITALIAN]
You go tell that son of a gun
that you--
Hey Ma, forget it.
Forget that.
No, I've got enough problems of
my own.
I got the ring.
I got the kiss.
Oh.
Oh my god.
Don't you see?
Don't you see?
What?
Like a big red sign in front of
my nose.
This is it.
This is what?
You and Tony, me and Nick.
God is saying, stay away.
Stay away.
Ma, we can't do that.
We need the land.
No.
The Di Cenzos are bad luck for
us.
They want to curse us, but I
curse them.
Look.
All you gotta do is take this
ring
and put it in the guy's hand.
I don't understand what the
big--
Ma, do you still have feelings
for this guy?
What about dad?
May God, right this minute,
inflict me
with an incurable physical
condition if I
ever, for one minute, was
unfaithful to your father.
That's not what I asked.
[SPEAKING ITALIAN] That's
enough.
We will not buy this land.
We will have no dealings with
these people.
That's my final word.
That's it.
[PHONE RINGING]
Hello?
SARA ROSA ANSELMI [ON
TELEPHONE]: Hi.
Tony, it's Sara Anselmi.
TONY DI CENZO [ON TELEPHONE]:
Yeah, I knew it was you.
Oh, you know, that is just the
kind of thing you
say that really puts me off.
What?
SARA ROSA ANSELMI [ON
TELEPHONE]: Yeah.
Yeah, that you were certain that
I was going to call,
like I'm one of those girls who,
I'm sure,
calls you in the middle of the
night.
Your name came up on my phone.
Oh.
Well, I'm calling to tell you
that my mother has joined
the ranks of absolutely not.
- Absolutely? - Not.
Yes.
Why?
You don't need to know that, we
just need to fix it.
TONY DI CENZO [ON TELEPHONE]:
How?
SARA ROSA ANSELMI [ON
TELEPHONE]:
You just get your uncle to sign,
I'll take care of my mother.
Look, I'll come over.
We'll powwow.
Absolutely not.
Oh, the family motto.
Come on, we'll drink a bottle of
wine.
We'll figure this out.
Look, I just called you to tell
you that my mother is not
cooperating.
If you need companionship
tonight,
maybe you should call that
little number
from the restaurant.
That bothers you, huh?
No, it didn't bother me.
TONY DI CENZO [ON TELEPHONE]:
You know,
I forgot all about that girl,
but that's
an excellent idea, though.
Yeah, well, I'm sure that's not
an exclusive club.
Ooh.
Last chance.
I could be over in 10 minutes. -
Family motto.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[LAUGHS]
What is that?
A little pre-wedding gift.
I just delivered it.
You like it?
Yeah, thanks.
[YAWNING] It's very big.
I made coffee.
Great.
I didn't sleep at all last
night.
I can't believe this whole deal
is going up in smoke.
There'll be other land we can
buy.
When I get back from New York,
we'll start over.
You're going to New York?
You're not my only client, you
know, just my favorite.
HDTV for satellite speakers,
send to speaker.
Power subwoofer.
It's all color bars and tones.
When we get the cable set up,
it'll be awesome.
Man, I'm loving this.
Yes.
Hi.
Hi.
Whoa.
[SPEAKING ITALIAN] What is this,
a special occasion?
No.
I was just--
Johnny, I've been thinking.
We shouldn't buy the land, the
Di Cenzos'.
Why not?
It's too risky.
Risky for who?
For all of us.
You told Sara?
Yeah.
OK.
Yeah.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Are you OK?
Yeah, I'm fine.
Are you OK?
Yeah, I'm fine.
We're fine.
What about Brian?
Is he fine?
Brian's fine.
We're all fine.
Yeah, good for us.
Yeah.
Good, Johnny.
Good.
It's hot weather, though.
Pushes things along.
We're ready, seor.
OK, well, let's get the crews
in.
Time to harvest them.
Bueno.
[OPERA MUSIC PLAYING]
SARA ROSA ANSELMI [ON
TELEPHONE]: Hello?
Hello?
Brandon, if this is you again,
I'm going to call the cops.
Hello?
What? What?
Who is it?
I don't want the scaloppine.
NICK DI CENZO: What?
I don't want the scaloppine.
Don't worry, don't worry.
You're not getting anywhere near
my scaloppine.
Come on. Get up.
We're going to the lawyer's
office,
we're signing the papers.
Enough of this craziness.
We are selling this place to the
Rosas.
Bite your tongue.
They are willing to let me keep
the house.
- You want the house? - Yeah.
You don't want the house.
I want the house.
Why all of a sudden do you want
the house?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I just-- I just want the house.
What the hell is wrong with
you?
It's 10 o'clock in the morning.
You're barging in here like a
maniac.
You have one lunch with the girl
and all of a sudden--
What?
Look at me.
Ow.
Uncle Nick.
It's the girl.
These Rosa women are devils, she
devils.
What the hell are you talking
about?
It's like a worm in your heart
that eats like a parasite.
No.
Basta.
Enough.
You see, your brain is clouded
by these--
these Rosa women, like sirens.
You must stuff your ears with
wax.
What?
That woman ate my soul.
She's not going to sit on my
family's land to digest it.
I say no.
We will never sell this land to
the Rosas.
[SPANISH MUSIC PLAYING]
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
There you go. Chili or refried?
Where's your plate?
I'm looking for Sara.
You're the nephew, the kisser.
I'm Tony.
Mrs. Anselmi.
Sara's gone.
Do you know when she'll be
back?
Never. She went on a cruise.
She died.
She went on a cruise and then
she died.
She's out of touch.
You have no business being here.
Have a nice day.
Chili or refried?
I really need to talk to her.
We don't want your land.
The deal is off.
Now, you got to go because I got
to sprinkle this whole place
with holy water.
I really need to talk to Sara.
I am asking you to leave.
If my dog was here, I'd sick him
come on you.
I've got a parakeet.
He's got a tiny, little sharp
beak.
Don't make me get ugly.
I'm warning you, Ma.
Don't pick now to start talking.
I'm in no mood.
Chili or refried?
Hey, you one of the guys Victor
sent over?
What?
We could use you up in the west
corner.
Go up, ask for Sara.
She'll show you what to do.
OK, thank you.
WORKER: Dios mio.
[SPANISH MUSIC PLAYING]
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
Sara?
Yeah?
I need to talk to you.
Go away.
Listen.
Your mother sicking a parakeet
on me.
My uncle is slapping my face and
stuffing his ears with wax.
What the hell is going on? - Ask
your uncle.
I'm asking you because you know
and he won't talk.
All right, my mother and your
uncle have a--
a history.
What history?
You know what?
If you're not going to leave,
then pick.
What history?
Ask him about a ring. Something
happened.
She ate his soul.
So that's what happened.
And by the way, something
happened between you and I.
40 years ago, your uncle sent a
ring and a proposal
of marriage to my mother, and
nothing
happened between you and I.
My uncle? Marriage?
No way.
It got lost in the mail.
Wow, 40 years.
Well, two days ago, you kissed
me in the kitchen.
What your uncle doesn't know is
that the ring
didn't arrive until last week.
And by the way, I didn't kiss
you.
You kissed me.
Ha, and there's nothing going
on between you and I?
Don't you "ha" me, OK?
Listen, I'm not going to pretend
that I'm not
a little, you know, puzzled by
events that may
or may not have taken place.
Back there.
You get back on your side.
Stay on your own side.
Your uncle doesn't know that the
ring was lost.
Puzzled, huh?
He thinks my mother rejected him
after all these years.
Are you in love with Brian?
Your uncle is insisting that my
mother
put this ring in his hand.
As well she should.
Are you in love with Brian?
She is never going to do that,
and I am going to marry Brian,
and you're going to do whatever
the hell it is you're
going to do.
And the only problem we have
here
is how to settle this opera
between your uncle
and my mother.
Would you your voice down.
My father is right over there. -
Stop.
Basta.
OK.
My mother, who was a very wise
person, always knew what to do,
no matter what.
Death, tragedy, she always had
the right words to say.
- And they are? - Let's eat.
ALICIA ROSA ANSELMI: A lunch
with the Di Cenzos?
SARA ROSA ANSELMI: Yeah, how
does that sound?
ALICIA ROSA ANSELMI: Like I'd
rather rip
out my own teeth with pliers. -
Ma.
No.
Listen.
I've made my feelings perfectly
clear on this matter.
You know, the world is full of
land.
It's made of it, for God's
sakes.
I'm sure some place, some of it,
that does not have the Di Cenzo
curse on it must be for sale.
The answer is no, Sara.
Never in a--
Million years.
If they were serving that
woman's head
on a silver platter, I would not
sit
down to lunch with the Rosas.
Uncle Nick, they're willing to
let us keep the house and two
acres for the same price.
Forget it.
You know, I'm glad my father's
not here to see this.
Father?
He hated the Rosas, too.
Yeah, but he didn't fear them.
Fear?
Me?
Afraid of the Rosas.
Are you out of your mind?
I'm not afraid of anything.
You'll just have to get your
grapes someplace else.
It's not about the grapes, Ma.
I'm sorry, Sara.
You cannot ask me to do this.
What are you doing?
I was just going through old
junk.
I should really throw some of
this stuff away.
Let me see.
Come on, let me see.
Come on.
Oh, I remember this.
The hayride.
I don't know why we just don't
get rid of these things.
They collect dust.
Look at this, look at this.
It's junior Christmas world.
It's you and Nick.
The two of you would walk into a
room and sparks
would fill the air.
The way you looked at him, god,
I wish I
could see that look just once.
But hey, you can't control the
way
people who love you love you.
You just love them the best way
you can.
Johnny.
No.
Alicia, from the first minute I
saw you,
I never had any doubts that I
was the right person for you.
And I thought that you never had
any doubts, either, until now.
Because if you love me without
question,
you could sit down at a table
and have lunch with anyone
without fear.
Yeah.
Sara, you got the number that
expensive hairdresser in town?
Serafina?
Yeah.
I want you to call her first
thing in the morning.
Call her?
Why?
Just call her.
First thing.
Oh, thank God.
OK.
Now, for a moment, we have to
put everything aside.
I mean, the land deal is
important, yes.
But the situation with your
mother, my uncle, crucial.
You and me, OK, OK.
The point is in this place now,
everything in our lives
that has led to this moment,
what we say next is vital.
Antipasto, clams. - Oysters.
Baked clams.
Oysters la mode de
[INAUDIBLE]..
OK.
Cold salmon foam, mushrooms,
[INAUDIBLE]..
Not bad.
I know.
Sauted turkey breast stuffed
with
bruschetta and gorgonzola and--
Say it.
White truffles.
[SINGING] Your lips tell me,
baby, I love you,
but your stomach is making a
growl.
You say you want me for all your
days.
- Oh, that's strong. - Oh.
[INAUDIBLE]
Oh yeah.
[SINGING] Then you kiss me with
all your soul
while you softly whisper, pasta
fazol.
Oh, very impressive.
She doesn't like it.
You don't need the clams.
I need the oyster.
All right, mussels.
Can we compromise on mussels?
Clam, the clam.
Here we go.
Here we go.
[SINGING] I need a man with an
appetite.
You will abandon all control
when you
get a little taste of my fazol.
I see that you're starting to
tremble.
I see that you give me the look.
I see that your mouth starts to
water because you
see that I'm starting to cook.
Thomas, go down there.
You want that one or--
Well listen, you know what?
No, no, go--
[INAUDIBLE] Here, I'm opening
this thing.
Here we go. SARA ROSA ANSELMI:
Are you sure?
All right. Here, weigh this.
What does it weigh?
- It's very heavy. - Enough?
- I think that's enough. -
Enough?
OK, good. Here.
We'll take it.
[SINGING] I say manja, baby.
Ooh, you hungry yet?
And when it's time to say good
night.
Good day.
[SINGING] I'll feed your
[INAUDIBLE] appetite.
And if you want a second date,
be prepared to finish
everything on your plate.
TONY DI CENZO: We should
probably
start cooking around 9:00.
I could do some of the prep
tonight.
Yeah, so 9:00.
Yeah, OK.
I'll just bring the wine with me
tomorrow.
I can get it now, if you want.
Oh, um.
Oh, no, no. You know what?
You just-- - No, no.
It's all right. Yeah, it's
inside.
- You sure? - Mhm.
- Really? - Yeah, come on in.
OK.
I'll be right back.
Hey, classy joint.
Yes, it's a classy joint.
It's the original farmhouse,
built in 1883.
19th century TV?
Oh, Brian gave me that TV.
For what?
Nothing.
You know, he's just like that,
sweet.
It's very big.
It's a space station.
What's this?
Oh, this is what I wanted to
serve tomorrow, if you like it.
It's mine.
It's a Caberlot blend.
Well, the cab is ours and the
lot is from your place.
You stole our grapes?
No, I had my foreman buy it
from your foreman.
We had to sneak it so my mom
wouldn't find out.
Smuggled him in, I felt like a
drug dealer.
This is the blend of our two
families.
Oh my god.
What?
This is not my father's wine.
But it's your father's grapes.
Sara, you must know how good
this is.
I-- I had an idea, yeah.
I'll show you something.
This is really quite
extraordinary, darling.
Oh, thank you.
Here, look.
You'll love this.
What, your family?
Mug shots.
This little girl in this
picture, that's my Nana.
And that's my great Uncle Pete.
He had a metal plate in his
head.
War?
Sawmill.
We used to put magnets on it
when he was sleeping.
That's evil.
There's my great aunt Nettie.
And look, just cousins, cousins,
cousins.
Sequels.
I would've had you pegged for
that.
Husband, 12 kids, Miss 4-H.
Oh, well, I was Miss 4-H. And I
was married before,
just for a second.
It was this crazy on again, off
again thing, very tempestuous.
Boy, I'd would love to see you
tempestuous.
Well, it just got to the point
where
we were either going to kill
each other or get married,
so we got married.
I should have killed him.
That explains the flat screen.
I like that TV.
Oh, look at that.
There's my Nana's brother, Ropo.
So what's your story?
My story?
I ain't got no story.
Everybody has a story.
I got a lot of stories, but
none that I'm
going to share with you.
Like your uncle, huh?
Well, you know what they say,
you don't
make the same mistake once.
It's not always a mistake.
Right, Miss Tempestuous.
Well, my parents are happy.
Weren't yours?
They endured, worked hard, made
a family.
They didn't expect much.
Here's the picture I want to
show you.
More dead people?
Look.
Who are they?
That's our family, the Rosas
and the Di Cenzos,
right after they moved from
Colombia, right
after they bought the land.
That's my great grandfather.
That's our first Christmas
dinner together.
La familia.
La familia.
Yeah, well, I'm going to--
I'll just-- - OK.
OK.
So--
Tomorrow?
Yes, tomorrow.
OK.
The wine.
Right.
Al.
Al. - Yeah.
My shampoo, do you know where
it is?
Look under the sink.
What's this?
Oh, I'm--
I'm making a little something
for the lunch.
Oh.
What are you wearing?
I don't know.
I hadn't even thought about it,
really.
What about something dressy
casual,
like your new sport coat?
Yeah, yeah.
That'd be good.
Johnny.
Hey, I've got to take a shower.
Under the sink you said, right?
Yeah.
Come on, baby.
Mama needs vineyard.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Need you a minute.
Can't you just wait?
Sara.
You know frankly, I think this
whole thing
is a big waste of time.
Geez.
You just got to get her to give
him the ring
and everybody's going to be
happy
and everything's going to work
out.
Well, it would work out for
him.
That's mine.
What does that mean?
They're going to be here any
minute.
It means-- what is in it for
her?
Why are you rolling the
focaccia?
You're telling me how to make
focaccia?
I worked at [INAUDIBLE] Oil.
They use too much garlic.
Brian's sensitive to garlic.
Brian?
Yeah, I told you he was coming.
No, you didn't.
Is that a problem?
No.
Just set another place.
Are you watching the sauce?
Yes, I am watching the sauce.
You know what?
Why don't you just roll your
focaccia, all right?
And I'll make my tiramisu
bianco.
How's that?
So this is what we have to do.
I'm going to get my mom to come
into the kitchen.
Then you've got to come up with
some excuse
to get your uncle to come in.
Why don't we just do it at the
table?
We can't do that.
My father, that would be so
humiliating.
OK, OK. I get it.
I get it.
I get it.
Check the veal, will you?
Oh my god.
It's ruined.
It's all ruined.
What, the veal?
My life.
Don't do that.
I thought you meant the veal.
I'm talking about my life.
I had my wine and my Brian and
my big TV.
You hate the big TV.
I didn't know I did.
And now I do, and so now it's
all ruined.
Sara.
Don't you come near me.
This is your fault.
My fault?
Yes.
You just waltz right in here and
you ruin my life,
and now when this is all over,
you're
just going to waltz out again.
- You don't know that. - What?
What?
Mr. I don't need any roots?
What, are you going to open your
restaurant here?
Where?
In this house?
In this house that you want, but
you don't want?
This house is my restaurant.
Yeah, like that's going to
happen.
Maybe I will.
Maybe I'll do just that. - No,
you won't.
Yes, I will.
Don't you dare.
I thought you wanted--
No, no, no, no, no.
What, do you think I want you
here
with your your stupid rolled up
focaccia
and the way you make me laugh
and--
OK.
You don't want me to stay.
You don't want me to go.
What the hell do you want?
I want you to have never come
back here at all.
But I did, so that is off the
table.
So now, what do you want now?
You're burning the sauce.
What do you want now?
I just want to cancel this
lunch.
I just don't want to be here.
I don't know.
I don't know.
[CRYING]
Sara.
Shhh.
[CAR HONKING]
Go, go, go, go.
I'll be right behind you.
[PHONE RINGING]
This is Brian.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Mrs. Anselmi.
Thank you for inviting us to
your home.
My pleasure.
Ma, you look amazing.
[INAUDIBLE] Sarah, wipe that
look off your face.
Your fianc is coming.
What's wrong with both of you?
Mm, something smells great.
- Hey, Brian. - Hi, Tony.
How are you?
Good, how are you doing?
You know Johnny.
Mr. Anselmi.
Call me Johnny, please.
This is my mother-in-law.
Mrs. Rosa, how are you?
She doesn't speak.
OK, please, please.
Everyone, please, come in.
Come in.
Can I get anyone a drink?
Mrs. Anselmi?
I'll have a wine.
Ciao.
[INAUDIBLE] Oh, Alicia.
You look exactly as I remember
you.
I remember you taller.
Johnny.
You look terrific.
You, too, Nick.
It's been too long.
A matter of opinion.
I love your jewelry, Alicia.
Oh, so many ring.
Nick, I want to introduce you
to my fianc, Brian.
Oh, ciao, Brian.
Hi, Nick.
How are you?
And you remember my
grandmother.
She doesn't talk.
I figured because no one's
threatened to drive
a nail through my eye yet.
OK, this is going well.
Please, sit down, Mrs. Anselmi.
Look, I feel I can speak freely
here as the only outsider.
Rosa, I know you have old
differences,
but I think we all share one
common goal.
So I'm asking you to please try
and set those differences
aside, if not for your own peace
of mind, then for me and Sara.
Boy, are you in for an
interesting afternoon.
Brian, sit down.
Oh.
Here we go.
Thank you.
Sorry.
OK.
Well, let's eat.
Food.
Food.
[INAUDIBLE] pepperoni
[INAUDIBLE]..
Well, I suppose we should drink
to something.
I can't imagine anything we
could all agree on.
A la familia.
A la familia.
Salud.
Salud.
Salud.
What is this?
It's Sara's, Sara's wine.
Pretty good.
Pretty good?
It's brilliant.
My daughter's wine is brilliant.
It's extraordinary.
That's what I said.
It's pretty good.
Well, the food is all Tony's.
Very nice.
I'm not hungry.
Ma.
It looks great, honey.
You're not hungry, either.
Well, I have a thing about other
people's kitchens.
You don't know what goes on in
other people's kitchens.
They cook, right?
You think so.
Ma.
I'm going to eat.
Me, too.
Ma, I said no.
So Nick, how long has it been?
It must be, what, 40 years?
So what's new?
40 years, everything.
Everything.
[LAUGHS]
Remember that guy who was in
shop with us, Eddie Poulsen?
Yeah, the guy with the lisp,
right?
No, that was Eddie Bercik.
Eddie Poulsen had the wooden
leg.
No, no, no, no.
That was Ted Winslow.
Who was Eddie Bercik?
He had the sister.
No, that was Footsie Longo.
Footsie Longo, that's the guy.
That's the guy who was in shop
with us.
- So what about him? - He died.
- No. - Yeah.
- Oh. - What's wrong with you
guys?
Footsie Longo isn't dead.
Dead as Julius Caesar.
Is Footsie short for something?
Yeah, Alfonzo.
Look at this guy, look at him.
He still hates to be wrong.
Remember the spelling bee?
Yeah.
Remember how you got second
prize?
So mad you got because Johnny
got first prize.
Johnny always got first prize.
I got second prize.
Johnny got the booby prize.
- What? - What?
- He's done all right. - What?
Who?
Alfonzo Longo, two years ago.
What?
Do you got dead people in there.
Brian, they don't want
information.
They just want to argue.
OK No, I googled him.
You googled Footsie Longo.
What the hell does that mean?
It means he's dead and I'm
right.
Ha ha.
Footsie Longo is dead.
[MOCKING]
The [INAUDIBLE] is wonderful.
Hm, isn't it wonderful, dad?
Wonderful.
Sara and I did it together.
Oh my god.
The antipasto.
Would you join me in the kitchen
please?
For what?
So I can slit my wrists.
Excuse me.
Can you google anybody in there
or do you have to know them?
Did you see that?
She gave him the look.
Uncle Nick, I need your moment.
I'm eating.
You know mother, you can be a
royal pain in the butt.
Oh, what did I do?
Well, everything but stab him
with your fork.
Well, the day is young.
I need to talk to you.
I need the little girl's room.
I'll find it myself.
Don't go.
Uncle Nick.
What the hell kind of a lunch
is this anyway?
- What is going on? - What?
You wouldn't tell me.
You think I can't see it?
What are you, nuts?
What's going on in there?
Am I?
The horns, they want me to wear
the horns, huh?
Well, am I?
Sara, where's your--
sorry, we'll come back.
Is there something going on
between the two of you?
Between us?
Something I should know about?
I better-- bathroom.
My mother's in the bathroom.
I'll use the one upstairs.
Uncle Nick, do not leave the
house.
Tony, why don't you get the
string beans?
Is anyone going to answer me?
Where's your mother?
She's in the bathroom.
Well, where's Nick?
He's in the bathroom.
They're both in the bathroom?
Excuse me, Tony.
I'm sorry, what was the
question?
Is there something going on
between you and Sara?
I think you should talk to
Sara.
Well, that's a yes.
It's not.
Take the bread.
Well, is it a no?
Well, it's not a yes.
Look, Brian, there are no
simple yeses
and there are no simple nos.
Then what is there?
There's veal.
Sauted with sage and white
wine.
Hey, what the hell are you
doing?
I took a pee.
Where's Alicia?
Hey, she's your wife.
That's right. That's right.
She's my wife.
Look at the old lady.
She eats like she's going to the
chair.
Uncle Nick, I need you in the
kitchen.
I was just in the kitchen.
Well, we're going back.
Oh my [SPEAKING ITALIAN]
No, sit.
Good.
Now, before Johnny gets back.
What before Johnny gets back?
Isn't there something you want
to give to Nick?
Yeah, typhus.
Yeah, something you should have
returned years ago.
Hm?
Something you'd like to place in
my hand?
Happy?
Johnny, let's go.
I do not wear the horns.
You don't wear the horns?
What horns?
The man who wears the horns is
a man with an unfaithful woman.
Oh god, I'm wearing the horns.
No, Brian, you're not wearing
the horns.
But I don't wear the horns
because I know--
I know about the ring.
I know about the proposal.
I know.
Oh my god.
What is it with you people?
This is not an opera.
It was a simple postal error.
A postal error?
Brian, shut up.
The package was lost in the
mail.
It happens.
- What package? - Nothing.
Brian.
Alicia's package, with the ring
and the proposal.
Brian, zip it.
She didn't get it till last
week.
I thought we were all talking
about the same thing.
Aren't we?
Aha.
NANA [VOICEOVER]: There was a
saying in my village
when I was a girl, that love is
like wine.
Just enough makes happiness, too
much makes a fool.
Aha.
Aha.
Aha.
What?
You never got it.
I knew it.
You knew what?
So I didn't get it.
So I got it last week.
A little time.
The answer would have been the
same.
Tell me that.
Uncle Nick, come on.
No, no, no.
Tell me that now, in front of
God and all these people,
you would've said no.
I'm not going to answer that
question.
That is a ridiculous question.
I'm not going to dignify it with
an answer.
Ma, Nick, can't you both--
Sara.
Answer the question.
What?
For 40 years, I wake up.
I ask myself the same question.
40 years.
Now I would like an answer.
You, Johnny?
After 40 years of marriage,
after all we've shared,
you want words?
I want words.
I can think of two.
Ma, dad.
Sara.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
I want what's mine.
What?
The ring.
If you're not going to accept
it,
I want it returned from your
hand to mine.
It's a point of honor.
You wouldn't know honor if it
bit you on the--
Ma.
Whatever.
I want my ring.
Please.
Please, give him the ring.
Stay out of it.
Give him the damn ring, Ma.
Stay out of it.
The ring.
Sara;s got it.
Yeah, I-- wait, I put it on
my--
oh my god, I lost it.
You lost it?
I should have expected it.
Lost again.
I see.
You Rosa women are all the same.
You have a piece of a man's soul
and you throw it away.
I know what you mean.
You're crazy, you know that?
You're crazy.
She lost it.
You know, Johnny owes me a big
thank you.
Thanks to me, he finally sees
what kind of woman he married.
Well, some things don't change.
Uncle Nick, you OK?
What?
A loaf of bread.
She hit me with a shovel once.
Excuse me.
This is silk.
Well, that was successful.
Did anyone think the veal was a
little dry?
At least my wine was a big hit.
Sara, we should go.
I can't.
You can't?
My family is falling apart,
don't you see?
Yeah.
Yeah, I see.
Maybe you should go after him.
You know, I don't need you
telling me what to do.
OK.
Buon appetito.
Brian.
Brian, where are you going?
I see the way you look at him.
A blind man could see it.
No, wait a minute.
Why can't you just admit you
have feelings for him?
All right. All right.
I have feelings for him.
How can you say that?
Brian.
No, no.
I'm not as strong a man as your
father.
I can't wait 50 years, hoping
that one day you'll
look at me in the same way.
I don't know what to say.
Before we were engaged, we were
friends, right?
And friends are supposed to want
the best for their friends.
Oh god.
I just want to have my mother's
energy.
50 years from now when you come
for lunch,
I just want it to be lunch.
OK.
I want my TV back, you hear me?
It's mine and I want it back.
OK.
[PHONE RINGING]
You couldn't find him?
Who, Johnny?
No.
I don't know where the hell he
went.
If you don't mind, I'd like to
be alone now.
He'll come back.
He was like this, remember?
He'd run off and brood and then
he'd come back.
That Johnny.
Me, I didn't come back.
Why?
I was a kid.
So were you.
Who knows why kids do anything?
You want the truth?
Yeah.
I was scared.
I was scared if I came back, I'd
never be able to leave again.
I need this place.
It was never me.
We would never have been happy
here.
I know.
I know.
You meant a lot to me.
You meant a lot to me, Nickie.
You were my first crush, my
first love.
You taught me how to love, Nick.
In spite of everything, Nick,
you were a gift in my life.
And you in mine.
Get your hands off of my wife.
Johnny, it's not what it looks
like.
[GRUNTING]
Johnny.
You fought for me.
You fought for me.
I think I fell on my keys.
You risked your life for me.
Risked his life?
I'm 65 years old.
It takes me 20 minutes to get up
in the morning and take a leak.
[LAUGHS]
Oh, Johnny.
Alicia, you're giving me the
look.
Oh, Johnny.
[LAUGHS]
[SINGING IN ITALIAN]
[LAUGHS]
Sara.
Say something.
How did it go with Brian?
Yeah, how did it go with Brian?
Is that all you can say?
It's not all, it's just what
I'm saying now.
Oh, sorry.
Wow, that's rough.
He's a good guy.
Sorry.
Yeah, sorry.
Right.
I-- wow.
I didn't mean, you know, to--
No.
You are not to blame.
No, you're not the disease.
You're a symptom of the disease.
That's good to know.
You don't have to feel any
sense of--
Obligation?
Obligation, thank you.
Also, don't feel like you have
to come up
with any magical words of
consolation,
or don't feel guilty about this
because it's not your fault.
Sara, shut up.
Sorry.
OK.
I don't know how I feel.
I mean, I thought this might
happen,
and I kind of hoped-- you know,
I guessed it would happen.
But now that it's happening, I
guess I--
I-- I mean, it's happening,
right?
Yeah, it's happening.
Yeah, OK. How do you feel?
I don't know.
Tony, I feel--
I feel like I have to go home.
[LAUGHS]
The guy decided to bury it in
the garage
so he wouldn't find it.
And then your father went into
garage, the floor caved in
and he's staying on the roof of
the car.
[LAUGHS]
Oh, Sarah, your desert is
beautiful.
Oh, honey, it looks delicious.
I can't wait.
What the hell is going on?
What?
Ten minutes ago, you all wanted
to kill each other.
Oh, we worked it out.
Worked it out?
Sara, Tony, we want you to know
that we talked,
and the land, everything you
want, is all fine.
We're going to sign the papers
tomorrow, first thing.
And Sara, just go make your
wine.
[APPLAUSE]
[SCREAMS]
Honey, honey, are you OK?
Are you all right? - What?
What is it?
Where is Brian?
Trouble. Trouble.
- Don't start. - The kisser.
It's the kisser. - I didn't do
anything.
Don't start.
Don't you start throwing
accusations.
Accusations.
You'll be lucky if that's all I
throw.
Little girl, cut the cake.
Ma, you haven't said a word in
20 years.
Now you speak?
I want the cake.
OK.
Who gets it?
[CHEERING]
[CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING]
[LAUGHS]
That looks delicious.
Oh, that looks great.
Of course, my nephew-- - Happy
holidays.
How's everybody doing over
here?
Wonderful.
Are you enjoying the wine?
We are featuring our Caberlot
blend.
Have a little more.
Congratulations.
There were once two fools named
Sara and Tony.
[CHATTER]
NANA: And their families were
neighboring
vineyards in America.
They joined their lands and made
great food, and especially
a wonderful wine.
And as we all know, what is in
the soil is in the grape,
and what what is in the grape is
in the wine,
and what is in the wine is in
our hearts.
Salude amore.
[MUSIC PLAYING]