This is Meredith.
This isn't a popularity contest.
I don't care if it's the Friday before Christmas.
She'll have Monday off.
Look, the bottom line is there's no way I'm
letting that report go without having seen it.
All right, get Rebecca to reach Ken.
He should be on the ground by now.
You tell him, forward his file...
She's gonna have to change her reservation.
Hold on, I've got another call. Don't leave.
This is Meredith. Terrific.
All right, I'm gonna call you back.
I said... Don't leave.
No, no, no. I said I'd call you back.
- Thank you.
- Combine the files, I'll look over...
Everett, Everett.
Is that for Amy? The red one.
I'll look them over,
but tell her to tell the printers to...
No, no. You know, forget it.
Wait. I'm gonna call you back.
- The red one, please.
- Red?
Yeah, that's perfect.
Merry Christmas.
Mom.
Merry Christmas.
Boys.
Boys? Patrick.
We hit traffic.
You look so good.
Wait, Patrick, I found another recipe
on the gourmet site this morning.
Well, it better not be for onions. I emailed you
my mother's recipe this morning.
- Mom, where's Everett?
- He promised me they'd be here by dinner.
Did you hear from Ben?
We didn't know when his flight was in.
Well, of course.
He missed both morning flights.
Honey, we're in here.
Millie's famous brownies.
So sweet of her.
- Thaddeus.
- Dad.
- Patrick.
- Hey.
Merry Christmas.
Sorry.
- You don't have to be nervous.
- I'm not.
They'll love you.
- I hate her.
- Amy.
- What?
- Generosity. Generosity of spirit.
- Thank you.
- You're gonna get me in trouble.
- I thought no one had met the girl.
- No. I was in New York in October...
That's right, that young man.
What was his name? How's that going?
- Kelly.
- Sorry.
- So, you had dinner with them.
- So, she is a total phony.
She's completely uptight.
She dragged us to this stiff restaurant,
she talked the entire time. I mean...
- You just wait.
- What?
She's got this incredibly grotesque
throat-clearing tic. It's like...
- It's like she's digging for clams.
- Make way for ducklings.
- Susannah, honey.
- Susannah.
- Hi, sweetie.
- Grandma.
Look at this.
Hi. Long trip. I gotta pee.
God, you're huge.
- Granddaughter.
- Grandpa.
Hi, sweetheart. How are you?
- Is Everett here yet?
- Amy was just telling us all about Meredith.
She's a throat-clearer.
- Sybil, why do you encourage her?
- Well, Amy never likes anyone.
Patrick.
I love you.
That took years.
So, you got her on the phone once, right?
- A little curt.
- She didn't do that throat thing?
What are you talking about?
I have to pee. When's Ben getting here?
They're here.
Ready?
- They're all watching, you know.
- They?
Kelly'll be out in a minute
and he'll bring us in.
- Everett.
- Dad.
Hi.
I told you. Did I tell you?
Yeah.
Hello.
Hi.
How are you?
Thad. Meredith. Meredith, this is Thad.
Oh, yes. Thaddeus.
Hello. I'm Meredith.
I've heard so much about you.
- And this is Patrick.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Why is she shouting?
- You remember Amy, right?
Amy. Yes. Merry Christmas.
- You remember me, right? The mother.
- That's right.
And this is Sybil. Mom, this is Meredith.
Hello. You have a lovely home.
All the better to entertain you, my dear.
Well, welcome.
- Merry Christmas. Welcome to our home.
- Mom, don't overdo it.
- What am I overdoing?
- Hi.
Welcome. I'm Susannah, and this is Elizabeth.
You have nice shoes.
Thank you.
- All right. Let me get a picture, please.
- Picture time.
Family photo.
- Just move in.
- Stand in front of your mother.
Patrick, move in close.
- OK, wait.
- Amy, come on, get in there. Here we go.
Where's Ben?
Move closer. Everett.
Why are you making such a big deal?
Can it really matter?
Yes. I think it matters, and I am not sleeping
with you in your bed in your parents' house.
- Sybil put us in here together.
- And I said I don't think it's right.
What you're saying is you just don't screw?
- Nice, Mom. That's nice.
- Is that it?
I know how fun this could be for you,
but really...
- But separate bedrooms? It's so silly.
- She just doesn't feel comfortable.
Well, why should she be comfortable?
Putting Amy out of her room and all.
What?
- I hope I'm not putting anyone out.
- Me out. You're putting me out.
Why aren't you sleeping in Everett's room?
He's your friend. Did you have a fight?
- Of course not.
- Can I try your shoes?
I'm so sorry.
There must be someplace else I...
This is Meredith. Hold on.
It's my sister.
Yes. Well, we'll just be downstairs.
Give you your privacy.
Come on, honey. Elizabeth, let's go. Careful.
Amy.
Let's go. Careful now.
They hate me.
Yes, I'm being myself.
- Can I come in?
- You don't need an invitation, Meredith.
- Don't be mad.
- I'm not mad.
But don't be thinking
you'll be getting any now.
Why would you keep those in here?
Don't you?
That's...
That's from a long time ago.
This isn't easy for me, meeting everyone.
I know it's not.
Look at them.
Just look at them.
- Ben? My God.
- Amy.
- Wait until you meet her.
- Meet who? Come here.
- Meredith.
- No smoking pot in the house.
No pot in the house. I mean it this time.
Merry Christmas, Mom.
And Christmas is not clothing optional
this year. We've got company.
- Got you.
- OK.
- Who's this? Have you been working out?
- Hey, Ben.
Everett. Wow, Everett in a tie. Look at this.
- I'm running for mayor.
- You look gorgeous.
That's true. I want you to meet Meredith.
Hi.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Hi. Hi.
- What is going on with him?
- All hail. The prodigal son returns.
Hey, Mama. I found your laundry here.
A big sack of filthy Christmas laundry,
just for you.
Hey.
- Where's your husband?
- What husband?
That husband. He'll be here on Christmas.
Queen bee, how are you doing?
- So, where's Dad?
- He ran away. Joined the circus.
- A better circus.
- Yeah, less clowns.
Sorry. We might have some glue.
No, it's OK.
I think I have another pair for that outfit.
It's a good color.
Excuse me.
You need a hand with that?
Now, don't dilly-dally there, pretty lady.
We're all gonna be down here
talking about you.
Do you remember Miss Lewin?
Remember her?
- Second grade?
- Yeah.
- Wait, the one without the lips?
- Exactly. Man, I was so into her.
- You are a freak.
- Yeah.
- She's sweet, right. Incredible.
- Thank you, sir.
- I mean, doesn't she seem incredible?
- Yeah, it appears that she is incredible.
So, Everett, where'd you find her?
Hong Kong, last spring.
Well, actually, over on Kowloon side,
not Hong Kong Island.
Although we were both staying there -
on Hong Kong Island -
Everett at the Grand Hyatt,
I was at the Mandarin.
But we were introduced
in the lobby of the Peninsula.
That's on Kowloon side.
I was there for
this post-postunification conference,
and I had a meeting over at the Peninsula,
and there I am, crossing the lobby,
and who do I see but Rachel Graham?
- Who?
- What were you wearing?
It had been, what? 10 years?
More? God, almost 16. Andover.
I'm with Rachel, and here comes Everett.
I don't know him, Rachel does.
They got their masters together. You hadn't
seen each other in, what? Eight years?
- The point is, Everett was lost. Remember?
- What?
- How you were lost?
- I was pretending.
He was on his way to take some boat to...
What was the name of that place?
Lantau. Lantau Island.
Right. Some pilgrimage
he'd gotten into his head,
on his way to see some Buddhist statue
at some monastery.
It's one of the largest metal buddhas
in the world.
- Metal buddha.
- Over three stories tall.
- Fascinating.
- You can stay at this monastery. Actually...
share meals with the monks.
But they've taken a vow of silence.
A vow of what?
Your tie's crooked.
- Incredible. How long were you there?
- Well, he never made it.
One thing led to another,
Rachel suggested lunch, we got to talking.
Everett, what did you two talk about?
I don't remember.
- It's just a little tight.
- Will you take that goddamn tie off already?
Please. Of course you remember.
Everett was with Steve, working out
their position for the IPO this spring.
- Well, of course, that's what I do.
- Really?
Within the Asian market.
Anyway, so lunch led to drinks,
which led to dinner,
and Rachel took off, and, really, that's how
Everett and I spent our first night together,
me putting in my two cents
going over that report.
I just showed Everett a few things
that needed to be done.
Meredith was a real help.
We were just lucky -
both in the right place at the right time.
- Destiny.
- Destiny.
- Right, honey?
- Right.
Well.
- OK, so...
- Here. Let me help you with that.
No, no, no. No, don't trouble yourself.
You're the guest. All right.
Well, then, maybe I'll just wash my hands.
- All right, Ben, come on.
- I'm still working on it, honey.
- I told you this...
- It's in there.
- Mom.
- What?
- Mom, listen. I wanna talk to you.
- Yeah, I'm sure you do.
- There's something I wanna ask you.
- Yeah.
I thought that might be it,
but now's not the time. I...
- Safe.
- Done.
- Open. Opening it out.
- Chest. Hair. Chest hair. No?
- "Billy Don't Be A Hero."
- What?
Thank you.
- That's a song?
- Yes, you've heard it.
- No.
- Whose clue was that? It's not good.
- I wanna go again.
- No, wind it down.
No, no, no, Elizabeth,
Meredith hasn't had a turn yet.
- No, that's all right.
- No, I'll find one.
- Really, I don't...
- Come on. Come on.
- Come on, La Mer.
- There. That one's perfect.
It's a movie.
- Movie.
- No talking.
Amy.
Movie.
Four words. Second word.
Beekeeper.
Ulee's Gold?
Second word.
- Wedding.
- Marriage.
- Ring.
- Bride.
- Princess Bride.
- Four words.
Always a bridesmaid, never a bride.
- No, that's six.
- You know the answer.
- I'm just trying to help.
- Third word.
- Clothes?
- Nylons?
- Style? Apparel?
- Suit?
Fourth word.
It's OK, it's OK. Fourth word.
- I can't believe you're pointing at him.
- What? Who?
- No...
- You're pointing at him.
- Which guy?
- I wasn't pointing at him.
- You still are.
- No, I'm not.
- My God.
- Is he a clue?
Fourth word.
- I wasn't.
- Fourth word.
- Yeah.
- Meredith.
- You guys are such unbelievable jerks.
- Meredith, come on.
- Whatjust happened?
- Fetch that for me, please.
- You don't even know how to read.
- What was the answer?
"The Bride Wore Black."
Thank you, Amy.
Why do you always have
to be such a meanie?
I don't.
What did I ever do to her?
You can't let her run you off like that.
She's getting back at you for taking her room.
Yeah. Some help you were in that department.
The natives would never dream
of letting their god sleep on a couch.
Not when they have me to blame.
- Meredith, now you're being...
- I am not a completely ridiculous person.
I can see you beginning
to look at me like they do.
No, that's not true.
Isn't it?
You're telling me you're not wondering
why you brought me here?
- That you're not beginning to have doubts?
- No.
That you don't wish I were different?
Different? Different how?
I was joking.
I was justjoking.
I wouldn't want you
just because you were a good guy
who got caught up in something
and then couldn't find the brake.
I'm not a good guy.
Yes, you are.
He's coming for that ring.
That's what he wants to talk to me about.
He intends to give that girl
my mother's wedding ring.
What I don't understand
is what he sees in her.
See, I was onto you, Mr. Oh So Innocent.
I don't mean that. She's attractive,
intelligent, obviously successful.
She's better mannered than any one of us.
Give me a break.
Stick a silver spoon up any monkey's butt,
it will go "please" and "thank you." Big deal.
- She is a fine woman.
- So fine.
She doesn't seem to know
or trust herself very well.
Thank you, Professor.
Which means, I'm afraid,
that our Everett may not know himself at all.
You're up early. Did you sleep all right?
- Thank you. Has Everett woken?
- It's freezing. Is there coffee?
- Coming up.
- Good morning, Amy.
- Hello, my last-born.
- Good morning.
I meant to tell you, we got a card
from the Stevensons the other day.
- You remember Brad, don't you?
- Very funny.
Brad. Brad Stevenson.
- Still in town, still available.
- Yeah, well.
- Brad popped Amy's cherry.
- Mom.
I'm sorry, dear. Is that not accurate?
He's holding out for her.
He got a taste of something he liked.
OK, Mom.
Could you not?
Milk's in the fridge if you need it.
- Amy, you take milk?
- Yeah. But I can do it.
I'm really sorry that you had to sleep on
the couch last night. Maybe we can take turns.
Don't sweat it.
I wish you'd give me a chance,
whatever it is that I did wrong.
I said don't sweat it.
I...
I don't know what I did to you,
I really don't, but, you know,
I don't care whether you like me or not.
Of course you do.
- She's going to the inn?
- What excuse?
Something about having a bad back.
Said they'd put a board
under the mattress at the inn.
Amy.
Be the kind child I know you to be, please.
Well, we are definitely in trouble now.
- Here he comes.
- Go. Go. Come on.
- Good morning.
- Morning.
- Excuse me, family.
- Everett.
- I wanna know who said something to her.
- To whom, dear?
- Meredith's checking in to the inn.
- We actually heard about that.
- And her sister Julie is coming.
- Her sister?
Her sister, whom I've never met, is giving up
Christmas with her family to be with her.
- Come on, now. She called her sister?
- That's it.
I see what's going on here.
I knew it wasn't gonna be easy with you guys.
I figured you'd give her a hard time,
have a laugh, then back off.
- Everett, honey, really...
- Please, Mom.
Now, if this is about me...
OK, this is how this is gonna go.
You will all pull your fangs out of her and
remind yourselves that whatever you think,
Meredith means a lot to me.
So you'd better start getting used to the idea.
OK.
- Everett.
- I expected a little more, at least of you.
What?
Well, you know, the coffee's
not too good over there at the inn.
Thank you.
So, you're coming back, right?
You'll come back?
- Yeah. I'm just checking in.
- Good.
Good deal.
Oh, boy.
What a day.
Well, thank you.
Yeah, I had a dream about you last night.
- What?
- Yeah. I did.
I ended up having a dream about you.
- Well, what was I doing?
- Let's go.
Are you coming?
You know, you gotta make sure to bring
back the mug 'cause it's Sybil's favorite.
- Or she'll kill you.
- OK.
So,
we are going to welcome Meredith back
withoutjudgment.
We will welcome her and her sister Julie
into our home with open arms.
We will try to behave
like a civilized family might.
- Right, Amy?
- Why do you keep singling me out?
lmagine what she had to have felt
in order for her to call her sister.
She is staying.
You gotta give her credit for that.
Excuse me.
I'd like to say something here if I may.
Forget it. And I know you gave her my mug.
Let's vote Ben off the island.
- I'm ashamed of all of you.
- There's news.
- Even you.
- He's gonna ask me for that ring. I know it.
- He can't marry her.
- Thank you. Where have you been?
- They don't love each other.
- He'll ask for that ring.
Mom. Enough about the ring.
- What ring?
- Grandma's wedding ring.
- Mom.
- Yep.
This is the woman I'm gonna marry.
You're talking about Meredith, right?
Mom, remember when
I was dating Becket Royce?
But she was great, now.
Wonder whatever happened to her.
What you told me was when I met the woman
who was to be my wife, I should come to you.
I should come to you because you wanted
that woman to wear your mother's ring.
Well, I've met that woman, and I wanna
ask you for the ring that you promised me.
I'm gonna give it to Meredith tomorrow.
On Christmas.
Mom.
No.
- Mom.
- I can't. That woman.
- "That woman"?
- OK, Meredith.
It's just, honey, I can't give you
my mother's wedding ring so that she...
- You made a promise to me.
- Tough shit.
I'm sorry.
I know you're disappointed,
but think how I feel.
God.
Goddammit! Who took the last
of the coffee and didn't make more?
There's supposed to be a pot right here.
I mean, who doesn't know the rules?
- I'm sorry, I was just wash...
- You're back.
I can make more coffee.
- All right, who put all the crap on my desk?
- Meredith's making us breakfast.
It's for tomorrow.
It's for Christmas morning.
It's strata. It's a Morton family tradition.
I know you and Patrick have dinner planned
out, but I wanted to contribute something.
And my sister's coming. I just wanted...
I just wanted to do something for everyone.
Well, that should be nice.
Everything all right at the inn?
Yes, thank you.
I hope they put you in a room
near Patrick and Thad.
Thank you for bringing my mug back.
Going to be a lot
of broken hearts in this town.
- What do you think of this?
- That's a beautiful choice.
Platinum setting.
I believe that's a three-carat stone.
And that's good?
Thad, what do you think? Is it big enough?
Let me just look up the specifics on that one.
Do you see a different one?
Don't do it.
- What?
- Marry her, Everett.
Please, don't marry her.
Thad, I am getting married.
Is this about Mom?
Of course it's about Mom.
Here we are. It's a lovely ring.
So the bread absorbs this, and then...
- Hi, Susannah.
- Have you seen Mom?
Yeah. She's taking a nap.
And then, really,
it's just as fast as your wrist allows.
- Fast, fast, fast.
- You've done that before.
Every Christmas.
Who else knows?
- Do you want a brownie?
- No, thanks.
Good.
So it's worse this time, isn't it?
What do you mean?
Mom, Dad.
I mean Mom.
It's not good.
I only found out a couple of weeks ago.
But you've known longer than that.
Well, we weren't sure.
And she wanted to wait, you know,
until after Christmas to tell you kids.
I know, Ben. I know.
This gets folded in.
A touch more oregano.
More Parmesan.
It goes in the fridge overnight
and bakes for a bit in the morning.
- Are those mushrooms?
- Yeah, those are mushrooms.
Isn't Everett allergic to mushrooms?
He is?
Hi, honey. Wha?
Well. Well.
OK.
- Honey.
- I love you, Mom. I love you.
What's going on?
What's wrong?
Did you and Daddy have fun getting stoned?
- Kelly.
- Yeah.
OK.
What have we got going on over here,
in Santa's workshop?
OK, what can I do to be of service?
Meredith, what can I do to make you happy?
Well, I think I'm all set.
Everett had to run some errands in town,
and then he and Thad
were going to meet Julie's bus.
- Now, are those mushrooms?
- I didn't know!
What does she look like?
I only saw a picture of her once.
Is that her?
- Julie.
- Ow.
- You all right? Think you can stand?
- Yeah, I'm OK. Yeah. Ow.
- What is it?
- No, nothing, just my knee.
- Sorry. I didn't see you.
- No, no, it's my fault.
Can you bend it?
Yeah. Yeah. No, it's fine.
Thank you. God.
- Hi.
- Hi. OK. Thanks.
- Are you all right?
- Yeah, I'm OK.
- You got it?
- It's no big deal.
- What happened?
- She fell.
This is so embarrassing.
I missed a step. It was totally my fault.
- Please, you've all gotta stop.
- Are you sure?
- It's not bleeding now.
- You poor thing. Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
- Amy, hurry.
- These are, like, a million years old.
- What took you so long?
Amy. The mean sister.
You got that right.
And you're with Thad, right?
- Yes, I'm Patrick. Merry Christmas.
- Here.
Let me help you.
Why don't we go to the bathroom?
What a great kid. Perfect for Ben.
- You're kidding.
- Strata, for tomorrow.
Meredith, what am I doing here?
You're cooking. Everything is fine now.
What did you have me come for?
Well, they certainly like you, don't they?
Julie, why don't you tell us
a little bit about what it is you do?
Me? I review artists' grants proposals.
- At the Rockefeller Foundation.
- Well, Ben is a documentary film editor.
Yeah, and Amy's a teacher
and Dad's an architect, so wha?
- Are you in New York?
- San Francisco.
- Actually, I live in Berkeley.
- You know, I wasn't speaking for you.
Well, you know...
Grandma signed something really, really bad.
Tattletale. I saw what Grandma signed.
Way to go. Nice signage. Nice.
So how is it that you and Everett never met?
Well, Julie's impossible.
She's been traveling all year.
- Can I be excused?
- OK. Why don't you go put your p.j.'s on?
- Elizabeth. Come back. Come back.
- So, your being deaf...
Actually, we were amazed by how little issue
the agency had over the whole hearing thing.
They had more questions
about us as a couple.
And about money.
This may be personal, but do you have
a preference about the child's race?
Julie.
- I'd like a black baby.
- Don't you already have one?
- Can you dig it?
- I'm so sorry. I...
No, it totally doesn't matter to us.
I was just wondering.
Julie.
We're just so excited
about having this child at all.
I'm sorry. I would sign,
but I don't know the language.
It's OK.
Do you believe in nature versus nurture?
Is that all a concern
in terms of bringing a child into your house?
- Not sure I follow you.
- Why wouldn't we bring it into the house?
Well, I just mean the gay thing.
I mean, there's no irrefutable evidence
one way or the other.
They think they've isolated a gene, but
they don't know what it's for or what it does.
- Isn't it for window treatments?
- There you go.
One contributing factor to being gay
may be the environment.
Well, I mean, look at my drapes, right?
Aren't they horrible?
There's no way it was this environment.
Meredith, most of us here believe
that sexual orientation is the result
of a genetic predisposition,
much like handedness.
- Handedness?
- That and Mom. She tried to make us all gay.
What are you talking about?
I didn't try, Everett.
No, true, I did hope.
I did desperately hope that
you would all be gay - all my boys,
and then you'd never leave me.
I'm so sorry by the way, girls.
Right.
Sybil asked me when I was eight if I was gay.
- Se asked all of us that.
- Yeah. Stop pretending you're so special.
Ben, are you sure that you're not gay?
I'm here, I'm queer, get used to it.
I gave up hope on Ben years ago.
You didn't really... You didn't really hope
for gay children, did you?
Well, I don't think that anyone wishes for that.
- Meredith.
- No, sorry. Please don't misunderstand me.
I don't... Well, I mean...
All I mean to say is I just...
I just don't think any parent would hope
for a child to be challenged like that.
- I'm sorry. I didn't hear a word.
- Sorry. This isn't coming out right.
All I'm trying to say is that... What I mean
to say is life is hard enough as it is,
and it seems to me that you wouldn't want
to make it any more difficult for your child.
I mean, Patrick. Patrick, you must understand
what I'm trying to say, right?
- What did she say?
- Well, now, boss,
I think we have been hit twice.
No. No. No, I'm sorry.
I did not mean that. Honestly.
Why don't you try saying
what it is you do mean?
Everett.
All right, that's enough.
I'm sorry.
Well, that's enough.
I just think any parent
would want a normal child.
- Goddamn you!
- Sybil.
- Don't "Sybil" me.
- For the child, to make it easier for the child.
That's enough!
- That's enough.
- Dad.
It's too much, Everett. That's enough.
Excuse me.
Meredith. Meredith.
Thanks a lot.
I know how she can seem.
You.
I love you.
And you are more normal
than any other asshole sitting at this table.
OK?
OK.
I need a fork.
- There you go.
- Thanks, Ben.
Is she OK?
How would you feel?
Amy, not funny.
- I'm gonna go see...
- I got her. I got her. Excuse me.
Excuse me. I've lost my appetite.
Everett.
What seems to be the problem here, ma'am?
OK.
Come on. Move over.
I know where we can go.
Any luck?
- I'm gonna go look for 'em.
- Everett, take our car.
Wait, I'm coming with you.
Can we finish this later?
Here you go.
Let's go.
She's not in her room.
Excuse me.
Are you sure there are no messages?
Sorry.
Where would he have taken her?
- Thanks, Gus.
- Sure, Ben.
- Have a lemon.
- Yeah.
I am not a bad person.
You're a total mess. Look at you.
I am?
I mean that in the best possible sense,
of course. You know that.
I do?
I love the gays.
- Gay people.
- They know that.
Then why?
I took her to the nicest restaurant I know,
and she didn't say a word to me.
Not one word. All evening.
But I tried.
And I try and I...
- I would've slept on the couch.
- Maybe you should stop.
Just stop.
Stop trying, you know?
It's exhausting,
trying to keep that lid screwed on so tight.
Just...
You know, relax.
Try it.
I'm not comfortable.
OK.
Here's the thing, Meredith.
You have a freak flag.
You just don't fly it.
It was the first totem pole
to be raised in that community in 100 years,
and it was just because this guy -
I guess he was a fisherman -
would wander around,
you know, from bar to bar,
talking about how he had
this hole in his heart.
That's how he put it.
He said he couldn't sleep.
He would just lie there in bed
because of this hole in his heart.
- Sorry. You don't even want to hear this.
- No. No, no. Tell me. Tell me.
Well...
The community got together
and they found the guy a log.
The guy had never carved a thing before
in his life. It took him five years.
I flew there for the raising and it was
just this tiny, tiny island off of the coast.
The whole town was there.
It was...
It was incredible.
You just couldn't look at it without crying.
I'd love to see that.
Well,
it's there for you.
Ben.
- Ben Stone.
- Holy crow. Brad.
- How are you?
- Good.
- Merry Christmas. You remember David?
- Yeah. Hey, Dave. Happy holidays.
So what's going on?
Are you working tonight?
- Yeah. Just got off.
- Are you here with Amy?
No, no, I was just kind of... I was...
Well, this is Meredith. Meredith Morton.
Brad Stevenson, David Silver.
We went to school together.
Meredith's Everett's...
Meredith and Everett, they're, well...
Hold the phone.
Brad?
Brad Stevenson?
My God.
Aren't you the guy that popped Amy's cherry?
- Do I know you?
- This is too good.
Let me buy you a drink. What do you say?
- You too. What was your name?
- David.
That's what I'm gonna do.
I am gonna buy you boys some beers.
Everyone in here. Bartender?
I would like to buy a round for the house.
Coming right up.
- Do you feel like you chose?
- What do you mean?
Chose your life.
Said, "This is the thing I'm gonna do.
These are the things I want."
Not necessarily because
you were good at this thing
or because everybody told you that
that's what you should want,
because everybody said that's who you were.
I don't know.
I mean, like this artists' grants work,
how did you know that's the thing
you were gonna be passionate about?
- Who said I was passionate about it?
- No, no, don't do that.
Don'tjoke.
You know, I've been thinking about
his monastery I missed seeing in Hong Kong.
Like that's an important thing.
Then you should go.
I want to go to Alaska.
I do. I wanna see that totem pole.
I wanna see that thing that felt
like a hole in the centre of that guy.
That thing he needed to make
just so he could sleep.
That's my song. Finally, my song.
Brad, dance with me.
You better do what she says, Brad.
Come on, Brad. Dance with me.
So, Brad, listen.
You tell me. I don't know what I did to her.
I don't know what I said.
Well, I haven't seen Amy in over a year.
I'm not really sure if I can hel...
You haven't seen her in over a year?
Well, how are you gonna get her, Brad?
How do you think
you're gonna get her like that?
- I don't even know if she wants to see me.
- Of course she does.
Look, Brad, I like you.
You should come tomorrow.
It's Christmas, I'm making breakfast.
I'm inviting you.
You come over.
- Do you guys want another beer?
- Yeah. Wait.
You know what would be great? You know
what would be the most perfect thing now?
If we could figure out how to get a little pot.
- Maybe they went back to the house.
- Do you wanna get some coffee?
- No.
- I don't know, get some coffee or something.
I just...
I thought...
It's funny.
- What is?
- This.
Everett.
You know, I...
I can't.
So...
Good night. Good night.
Mr. Stone.
No, it's Kelly. Please, Julie.
I don't mean to bother you. Is Meredith here?
No, she hasn't shown up yet.
Because I wanted to apologize to her.
And I'd like to apologize to you also.
Everett?
Honey, look, I...
I'm sorry.
- I'm... I really am...
- I'm not really sure I believe that.
Everett.
Everett?
- So what was that dream?
- Which?
You told me you had a dream about me
but you didn't finish.
You didn't say what I was doing.
You were shoveling snow.
I... What?
You were just a little girl
in a flannel nightgown
and you were shoveling snow
from the walk in front of our house.
And I was the snow.
I was the snow,
and everywhere it landed
and everything it covered.
You scooped me up.
With a big red shovel.
You scooped me up.
What?
Nothing.
Everybody asleep?
OK, but...
At 4:30. Right.
- Hi.
- Daddy's here. John says hi.
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
She's nice like this, isn't she?
All right.
- I'm going to bed.
- OK. I'm gonna go too.
So we'll see you tomorrow, then?
Merry Christmas. I love you too.
- Are you coming up?
- Are you kidding? This is my favorite part.
Merry Christmas,
my Susannah.
Merry Christmas, Daddy.
...pretty proud of you.
It's our last dance in St Louis.
I feel like I'm gonna cry.
Hi, there.
Well, hello.
Hello.
You need a haircut.
You should see how mad he is at me.
It's not her.
You know, honey.
It's not her.
I feel sorry for her.
I do. It's just that he's making this mistake.
And I won't be here.
I only want him to be happy.
He'll be fine.
We all will.
No matter what.
You'll see.
I'm scared.
Kelly.
Kelly,
I'm scared.
- Merry Christmas, Granddaughter.
- Merry Christmas, Grandpa.
- Just stockings.
- Just stockings.
Ben?
My God.
- Ben.
- God.
My God. My God.
Ben?
I'm sorry. I was...
I was looking for Ben.
Well, my car's back.
Merry Christmas.
Don't be ajerk. I just said Merry Christmas.
Dad put you up to this.
You and I need to get something straight.
Here we go.
Not now, Kelly.
- Right, OK.
- Jesus, Kelly. Not now.
Yeah. Fine. Hey, Everett.
You've had a charmed life, kid.
I blame myself.
Mom, you've never
made anybody's life easier.
- What the hell do you know about it?
- I know a little.
I'm sick, honey.
And you can't fix it.
Not even by getting married.
- Mom.
- What?
I know this is probably a tall order,
but I need you to do me a favor
and try not to be so perfect, all right?
I'm far from perfect.
I'd hate to see you miss out on something
because you have this picture in your mind
or you thought you could
change something you can't.
I'd hate to see you
not find what you really want.
But, Everett,
it's your ring.
It's your decision.
I'll find it.
Julie.
I was just getting coffee. I'm sorry.
No, wait. Julie.
My God.
God.
Hey, there you are.
How'd you sleep?
OK?
- It's beautiful.
- Yeah.
- Try it on.
- What?
- Yeah, just try it on. I want to see if it fits.
- No.
- Come on. Here.
- No. My hands are bigger than Meredith's.
- Julie, I want to see.
- Isn't that bad luck?
- Yeah, it's very bad luck.
- Sybil, is now a better time for you?
No.
Wow.
That really is beautiful.
- OK, Everett, what's going on?
- Julie.
It's a beautiful ring, Everett. I...
- Oh, no. OK.
- Just a sec.
- No, no, no. We'll just get a little soap.
- I can't...
Where'd everybody go?
- I wanna open some presents. Come on.
- My God.
- Is it stuck?
- Well, yeah. Yes. Of course it's stuck.
- I told you. My hands are bigger.
- What's stuck?
- Butter. That's it.
- Let's get this show on the road.
- She can't get it off.
- What?
- Grandma's ring.
- I'm not doing this on purpose.
- I didn't say that.
- I hate to say this, but please be careful.
- Is she all right?
- I'm fine.
- Meredith, wait a second. Meredith.
- How dare you?
Meredith, wait a second.
Are we opening presents or what?
- Why's she crying?
- I'm not crying.
Am I?
- Julie. Julie.
- Julie. Julie.
Meredith.
- Where have you been?
- I just got here.
- Julie, are you all right?
- Julie?
- What's she doing? Let me in.
- Meredith.
- Meredith.
- Julie.
- What is all the racket?
- All right, Amy.
- Morning.
- Morning.
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
- What are you doing?
- Meredith.
What?
- What's that?
- It's your wedding ring.
- My God!
- All right, let's give them a little room.
Come on, let's go. Let's go.
- He's gonna propose?
- Yeah. If I can get it off.
- What are you doing with my wedding ring?
- It stuck. He wanted to see it on.
Why did he want to see it on you?
Where were you last night?
- I can't tell you.
- What do you mean, you can't tell me?
No. Meredith.
No.
You didn't.
I'm so ashamed.
Jesus, Kelly, what? What did I do?
I'm gonna be watching you, mister. Yeah.
How'd she end up with the ring on
in the first place?
Well... You know, I...
Now, who the hell is that?
Amy, Amy, Amy, Amy,
Amy, Amy, Amy, Amy, Amy.
Amy.
Amy. Merry Christmas.
Brad.
Brad, what are you doing here?
Meredith invited me.
- It's terrible. Don't you think I know?
- Why did you bring me here?
Don't yell at me. I needed my sister.
Meredith, how could you?
I know. I know.
Let me see the ring again.
That's it?
- What do you think this is?
- All right. Is Meredith out of the can yet?
What is it, Amy?
- Brad.
- Brad.
What's up, Ben?
Merry Christmas.
I got a letter from your mother.
- She loves you.
- Merry Christmas.
Mr. Stone.
Hi, merry Christmas to you guys too.
I hope I'm not interrupting anything.
No. Here she is. Meredith, you know Brad.
My God. I totally forgot.
Maybe you would like to share with us
how it is that you know Brad.
We were all at O'Malley's last night.
- You were at O'Malley's?
- Hound's-tooth, right? Hound's-tooth?
- Filene's Basement.
- Really?
- Meredith...
- Let's open presents.
- Presents? Don't you think we should talk?
- Me next. Me next.
Amy.
I have something for everyone.
It's for you.
Everett.
For everyone. Wow. For me? Thank you.
Amy.
Susannah.
Well, open them.
Oh, yeah.
It's so beautifully wrapped
that I almost feel bad.
It's for you.
I found the original on Everett's desk.
I just thought it was so beautiful.
That's you and me, kid.
You and me.
I'm...
I'm sorry. I just... I...
I just assumed that it was Everett.
- Thank you very much.
- Meredith.
You did good.
Meredith, I'm...
- We've got to...
- I know what you're gonna ask.
That's my point, I don't think you do.
Brad, you look hungry. I'm just...
- Will you?
- Please.
- Will you please stop talking?
- No. Everett. Everett, no, I will not marry you.
What?
I'm sorry, Everett.
I can't marry you.
I...
I didn't ask you.
- You... What?
- You said...
I'm not asking you to marry me.
You're not? You didn't...
That's just great, isn't it?
It's just perfect.
- Like I haven't been humiliated enough.
- Meredith, it's not...
It's not?
This isn't exactly the moment you've all
been waiting for? You all hate me so much.
- Meredith, that's not true.
- I know what you see.
Meredith the spoiled, crazy,
racist bigot bitch from Bedford, right?
That's what you all think.
That is. That's what you all see
when you look at me.
Not good enough for Everett.
Not like all of you. She comes
all the way up here to ruin our Christmas
and then she sleeps with his brother.
What?
I slept with your brother.
- You slept with who?
- "With whom?"
- Do not look at me.
- With Ben. I slept with Ben.
Excuse me. Could you just back up
for a minute there? Everett, we did not...
- What's the use?
- Meredith, we did not sleep together.
- We didn't?
- No.
Isn't there anybody that loves me?
- Nice.
- Who? Me?
Yeah, you.
- My God.
- Meredith.
OK, Everett, look, I...
I just want you to know that...
My God. No, no, it's all right, sweetie.
Let's just get this off. You'll be fine.
- Watch your pretty hair.
- I'm just as good as any of you.
Of course you are. Better, probably.
Ben.
- I'm gonna get...
- Everett.
Everett, Everett. Come on.
Sorry, I don't know if we've met. I'm Brad.
- Julie.
- Somebody's gonna get hurt.
- What's so great about you guys?
- Nothing. It's just that we're all we've got.
- We're not so great.
- And you. You're the worst.
I'm the w...
- Nothing happened. Nothing happened.
- Come on, stop. Stop.
- Stop chasing me. I didn't do anything.
- Everett. Boys. Boys.
- Why does she think she slept with you?
- Well, we were kind of wasted.
Stop this nonsense.
Boy.
Everett.
Everett, stop. Not the ja...
Not the jacket. Not on the jacket.
- Are you OK, Everett?
- How could you do that to me?
I didn't do a... I didn't do anything to you.
She was passed out. I slept on...
I slept on the floor. Nothing happened.
This is a brand-new...
Look, you don't even love her, man.
You don't love her.
Kelly.
Are you OK?
To Bedford. Yes. OK.
At 5:30. And that's from campus?
OK. You too. Merry Christmas.
- I'm sorry, Everett.
- No.
I'm sorry for everything.
You don't hate me, do you?
No.
Of course not.
Was this for me?
- Elizabeth, did you see Julie?
- No.
Elizabeth, where did you get that ring?
Elizabeth?
She said to give it to Everett.
She said to say goodbye.
It's not a clock radio.
Wow, Brad.
- Where's he going?
- Who?
Where are they going?
Wha?
Get in.
A pair.
What do you say
you get out of these clothes?
You smell a little like puke.
- Think he's found her?
- I don't know.
- Have you seen her?
- No.
A guy in there said...
Julie.
You didn't even say goodbye.
You were a little busy.
Well,
my bus is here.
You can't go.
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
- Let me help you with this.
- OK. Thanks.
No, you can't go.
- Everett...
- Please. Stay, Julie.
- It's too much. I...
- No.
No, it's not.
It's not.
Stay.
Stay.
Everett.
- Julie.
- Everett, I...
Julie.
I just wanted to ask
if you were doing anything for New Year's.
Are you comfortable?
Repeat the sounding joy.
- Hello? Merry Christmas.
- John.
- Daddy.
- Merry Christmas.
OK, let's start with who's that guy
Amy's making out with in the ambulance?
No.
Sybil.
Sweetie, it's ready.
It's snowing.
- Hey. Merry Christmas.
- Hello?
Merry Christmas. Hello.
- Hey, you guys. My gosh.
- Hi.
Hello.
My goodness. Hi, precious.
- Hi, baby.
- Are Everett and Julie here yet?
They called a while ago.
They'd be here for dinner.
- Patrick.
- Hey.
- Hi. Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas. You look great.
Dad.
Merry Christmas.
Hi. Nice to see you. Merry Christmas.
Would you look at this young man?
Hi. Hello.
He is the king of kings. King Gus.
King of the world.
Let me look at you. There you are.
- Any luck with the stockings?
- No, I can't find 'em.
- You guys, we're ready.
- They're ready. Are you ready?
- Do you want to see the tree?
- Here's the tree.
- We've got more ornaments.
- Wow.
There he is. Look at this guy.
- Hey. You look good.
- Nice to see you.
- Merry Christmas.
- Brad, come on. Check the fuse.
- OK, are we all set?
- Brad, you got it?
- I got it. I think we're good.
- OK.
"'And then,' cried Max,
'let the wild rumpus start."'
Good tree, Daddy.
It is.
It's a very good tree.
Look at this one.
Here.
Thanks.
- Hello? Anybody here?
- Merry Christmas.
They're here. Let's go say hi.
Go see your uncle Everett.
Are you OK?