Over there. Look.
Dwight, don't!
Asshole!
Are you nuts? You can't see the cap?
It's not orange enough?
Get out of these woods!
- I can hunt here. I got a permit.
- Lf he's got a permit...
Get out!
Let's go.
That's Dwight Armstrong,
my stepfather.
Accent on "step."
He's a lawyer.
And he's head of
"The Friends of Fish and Wildlife"...
... an extremist pro-mammal group
in Vermont.
Almost all its members, male
and female, look like Dwight.
My real dad died
in a motorcycle wreck when I was 6.
Two years later,
Mom met Mr. Personality.
It has not been a barrel of laughs.
There was a certain poignancy
about today's hunting party.
It was my last evening at home.
Tomorrow I was beginning my first year
at New York University film school.
A freshman. That was me.
My farewell dinner was
raucous and hilarious...
... full of warm, good feelings.
That should cover it.
Dwight gave me $600 spending
money...
... and a hearty handshake.
- Where's the subway?
- Downstairs.
- That way?
- Right.
Sorry.
Forget it. He's out like a light.
The shame of the cities.
- Nothing broken?
- I'm okay.
That was a nasty spill.
- I'm okay.
- You sure?
- I'll give you a hand with those bags.
- No, thanks. I'm fine.
You're a smart kid.
Rule 1:
Don't let anybody touch your bags
unless you know that person is bonded.
Thanks.
I'm bonded, which is your good fortune.
Ignore her.
Who's this stranger talking to you?
It's Victor Ray of the
Victor Ray Car Service.
On your way to college, right?
- New York University.
- Good school.
Thanks. Do you know
where the subway is?
- You don't want the subway.
- Yes, I do.
- It's over there.
- Thanks.
In New York, we have
three distinct social classes.
A: People who make a billion dollars a
day and get laid in Trump Tower.
B: People who live in Times Square and
eat Yankee Doodles on the sidewalk.
C: Me.
Guys I call "the glue of society."
We go, "Forget about it."
All hell will break loose.
- Rich against poor.
- We're on the brink. It's seething.
Come with me.
For $65, you get an air-conditioned
ride and peace of mind.
No, I can't afford that.
I'll take you for the old rate, fifty.
No, it's out of my league.
- How much can you go for?
- I don't know.
- Forty, which for me is charity.
- Ten dollars I can manage.
Ten dollars?
For delivery and security in a
mint-condition Bonneville?
I have to eat.
I can't do better.
I'll walk or take a bus.
Okay, ten bucks.
I'll take you for ten bucks,
but on one condition.
Promise you won't tell anybody.
Word gets out, I'm finished.
- I won't tell a soul.
- Follow me.
I'm parked in a reserved spot.
Let's go. Come on.
Watch out!
Watch out! Suicide attempt, right?
It's bigger than I imagined.
That's true of many things in Manhattan.
The other boroughs too.
Tremendous things in Queens.
Go to the trunk.
It opens from the inside.
Take everything.
You'd be surprised how many people...
Stop the car!
Stop the car, please!
I'd been in New York 19 minutes 11
seconds, and I was already ruined.
Action.
The roommate enters. Come on in.
Don't be afraid. That's it. Come in.
I'm holding you in a medium shot.
A lovely shot. Very cinematic.
My name is Clark Kel...
A little confused. I like it.
It sells.
I like actors who think
in front of the camera.
- I'm moving in.
- Is this the right room?
Cut.
That's a wrap. Check it.
Kellogg?
You're...?
- Steve Bushak.
- How do you do?
Really nice to meet you.
I should go to the police.
Kojak is a fictional character.
- Don't involve the police.
- So I'm just a victim.
Everybody in this city is a victim.
Welcome to New York.
I'm deeply moved.
I understand your position, but...
For Introduction to Film you must own
Fleeber's "Viewpoints in Cinema..."
...and "Selected Readings in Cinema,"
by...
...Fleeber.
I want to buy your books...
They aren't "my" books, Mr. Kellogg.
They are essential reading, as are
the 12 other books you must own...
...and which will cost over $700.
I'm doing a paper, "And The Wheels Go
Slow: Form and Function in "42nd St."
That would be a very interesting idea.
Take a musical...
Call your family for more money.
My stepfather won't help me out.
This is out of Dickens.
Robbed by a street urchin.
A wicked stepfather.
I don't know what to say.
I'm trying to explain that I can't
get the books now.
I'm a faculty advisor,
not a caseworker.
I'm only interested
in your academic career.
And you're off to an extraordinarily
unimpressive start.
I'm sorry,
but being new to New York...
Excuse me. I have to leave now.
Hey! Excuse me.
Hey, wait up!
Stop him! Wait!
Watch it!
I want my money and my stuff. Now!
My money or I call the cops!
No English!
Knock it off! I know who you are!
Where's my stuff?
Upstairs. Give me a hand with this.
You crazy?
I victimized you in a moment of
weakness and now justice is done.
Give me a hand.
My money.
Do you have my money?
Watch your step. Floors are wet.
- Give me the money immediately...
- I'd love to do just that.
However...
...here we have an awkward moment.
Tragically...
...I have a gambling problem.
I placed a wager on a horse.
Predictably.
You lost my money on a horse?
All of it?
Now, I'm not sure it was a horse.
Oh, God. Oh, God.
I swear, it was a responsible bet.
It was a 4-to-1 shot. What can I say?
Took a beating.
But I still got most of your clothes.
I'm going to the police.
Police? You're a college student.
I'm a working man. No police.
No? Robbery is still a crime
in New York. It's not legal.
It depends on the circumstances.
Bullshit.
I'll get you a job.
An unbelievable opportunity.
- You're just the guy.
- I'm serious. In fact...
No, forget about it.
- What?
- No.
It's irresponsible of me.
So much money.
What is it?
I shouldn't offer you this job.
But I'm in an awkward position...
...between my feelings of guilt towards
you and my family obligations.
I don't know what you mean.
I'm offering you a job
that I promised to my sister's kid.
Perfect for a college student.
Flexible hours, big money.
My sister will kill me. She'll get a
gun and blow my brains out.
What kind of work? Stealing cars?
If you're going to be a cynic...
You expect me to trust you
after you steal everything I own?
Don't do anything you don't want to.
I'm giving you a choice is all.
If you want to make serious money...
...be at this address
tomorrow afternoon at 2:00.
"120 Hester Street.
Old World Social Club."
You'll work for my Uncle Carmine.
A great man.
He's the smart one in the family.
Look who's here! Don't be shy.
Come right in.
I wasn't sure this was it.
This is it.
Best neighbourhood in New York.
Uncle Carmine's waiting for you.
Here we go.
There at the desk. That's him.
- He's your uncle?
- Yeah. Do me a favour.
Don't say anything about my gambling.
I said, "How are you doing?"
"Very well," he says.
Hello.
This is my good friend Clark,
from Kansas.
Vermont.
"My heart is filled with much
happiness in meeting you," he says.
God Almighty.
You notice the resemblance, right?
He's the real thing. The original.
When they saw him,
they based the movie...
So is he a Mafia guy?
No, local businessman. Importer.
That's it.
- What a kisser.
- Unbelievable.
This is my uncle, Carmine Sabatini.
Uncle Carmine, this is Clark.
You never told me your last name.
- Kellogg.
- Just like the cereal.
Like the breakfast cereal.
Your resemblance to...
- Clark, have a seat.
- Pull up a chair.
- Would you like a nut?
- No, thank you.
None for me, Uncle Carmine.
Did you ever try Italian coffee?
No.
- Would you like to try a little taste?
- Yeah. Why not?
- Good.
- None for me, Uncle Carmine.
"Two espressos," he says.
That picture on the wall
wouldn't by any chance be Mussolini?
It ain't Tony Bennett.
Some older members of the club...
...they keep it up there for sentiment.
- Sentiment.
- The old days.
For the old days.
For good or for bad.
It would be like, for you,
a picture of the Beatles.
They're actually before my time.
Whatever. You understand.
You don't keep the picture up
for political reasons.
No. It's not political.
It's definitely not political.
My nephew says you're from Kansas.
Vermont.
Six of one, half-dozen of the other.
The most important thing
is that we're all Americans.
Right.
Good, Lorenzo. Thank you.
- "Thank you," he says.
- I know.
Now this is real Italian coffee.
It's not like regular coffee.
Know what I mean?
It's a little strong,
so we put a little sugar in.
It cuts the strength.
Maybe a little more.
All right. Drink it down. One gulp.
Puts hair on your chest.
Did my nephew explain this job to you?
No, not really.
It's best if you explain it,
Uncle Carmine.
It's not complicated work, but it
must be done right, like all things.
Tomorrow at 1 pm, outside the club,
will be parked a car.
What is it called?
Sedan De Ville.
- Sedan De Ville.
- That's a type of Cadillac.
A Cadillac.
Yeah, this is a type of Cadillac.
Now, I want you to drive this car
to the JFK cargo terminal.
There you will pick up a package
addressed to Larry London.
Deliver this package to Cherry Hill,
New Jersey. That's it.
Is that far?
Not more than 3 hours, the whole trip.
Depends on traffic.
You never know.
You could get there in no time...
...or sit in traffic for hours
with your dick in your hand.
That's why I need someone
who can use his head...
...who won't get upset, emotional or
nervous no matter what happens.
Right. I understand that.
For this service,
I'm going to pay you $500.
$500?
See why my sister's so pissed?
I mean, angry, beside herself.
You'll pull in at least a grand a week.
A thousand dollars a week?
I'm going to need two trips a week,
minimum.
Of course, if things get busy,
then maybe more.
I hadn't thought of that much money.
I don't know.
- You don't know what?
- Wait. Hold on.
Let him think.
This is a sign of intelligence.
He's trying to understand
the nature of this job.
So, what are your thoughts, Kent?
Clark.
Sorry. Clark.
I have to ask you something.
Don't take it wrong.
No, anything, go ahead.
I smell a rat.
A rat?
He smells a rat.
That's right.
Know why you smell a rat?
Because God gave you a brain.
Because you're asking yourself,
"Clark, what is this?
A man will pay me $500 a trip
to deliver a package?"
- This is what you think?
- Right. That's what I'm feeling.
This is natural. Natural.
So then you understand.
Sure.
I understand a thousand percent.
Give me your hand.
You know what this is?
This handshake?
We call this the hand of friendship.
We?
You don't know what this is.
The hand of friendship from my Uncle.
I want you to take this opportunity.
Totally legitimate work
for $1000 a week.
I know you won't disappoint me.
How can I say no?
This is not a yes.
I want to hear a yes.
Yes.
Good.
Good. Now I'm happy. I'm so happy.
I don't know why I'm so happy.
That's good.
Everybody up.
Come to my house in Queens tonight.
He's going to...
You can get the keys.
I'll give you directions.
I have such good feelings about you.
I'm absolutely filled with emotion.
I never had a son.
In 15 years, I never saw him
take to anybody like that.
Never.
Senator.
We're both part of the same hypocrisy.
Never think it applies to my family.
All right. All right.
Some people have to play little games.
You play yours.
Let's just say you'll pay me because
it's in your interest to pay me.
I want your answer and the money
by tomorrow.
And one more thing.
Don't you contact me again, ever.
From now on, you deal with Turnbull.
Senator, you can have my answer now.
My offer is this. Nothing.
Not even the fee for the gaming
license...
... which I would appreciate if you
would put up personally.
"Senator, my offer is this:
Nothing."
In that one moment, Michael Corleone
says that all corruption is equal.
That there is no separation between
politics and gangsterism.
As discussed in the Fleeber treatise,
Guns and Provolone...
...what are the similarities between
Karl Marx's "Das Kapital..."
...lmmanuel Kant's
Critique of Pure Reason...
...and the Lake Tahoe scene from
"Godfather II"?
You haven't read the Fleeber piece?
Well, in an evolving society...
You need help from Mr. Bushak?
He might enjoy helping you write
a five-page answer to my question.
I want it on my desk by noon tomorrow.
In an evolving society...
...violence and narcissism replace...
- Oh, shut up!
I hate this guy.
You're Clark?
Yes, I'm Clark.
I'm Tina, Carmine Sabatini's
only daughter.
- I didn't know he had a daughter, only.
- He does. I'm her.
Come in.
This is quite a house. Very European.
Can I get you a drink?
Beer? Sprite?
No, thanks.
Jesus, look at that.
Wow, what a job they did!
Job?
Copying job.
Down to the cracks and everything.
This isn't a copy. This is it.
Right.
I'm very serious.
This has to be a copy.
Do you remember about 10 years ago
the original toured the country?
It did?
They brought it over from the Louvre.
Who?
I don't know who. They.
It was in the United States.
And...?
And it stayed here.
The one they shipped back to Paris,
the one behind all the glass...
...that the tourists take pictures of
is the copy.
My dad thought it was just awful.
A masterpiece behind such thick glass.
He had such a special feeling for it
his whole life.
Sort of an obsession.
He ripped it off? The "Mona Lisa"?
The day it arrived here I was 9.
My dad took it out of this huge crate.
There was Styrofoam
and newspaper everywhere.
And suddenly...
...there it was.
And he turned to me...
...l'll never forget this...
...and he said:
"Now I'm happy.
Now I got the "Mona Lisa."
It's safe here in Queens?
People don't steal from my father.
- They don't?
- No.
- You want to dance?
- Here?
- It's kind of hot.
- Take your sweater off.
My dad tells me you're from Nebraska.
Vermont.
What do you think of New York?
I stopped thinking 24 hours ago.
I'm going on pure instinct.
That's what you should do in New York.
Is your father here now?
He's in the Bronx at some meeting.
Aunt Angelina?
My head's killing me.
I'm going to bed.
This is Clark. Dad mentioned him.
Clark. The boy working for Dad.
I'm going to bed.
Watch "Jeopardy." You come up?
After Clark leaves.
Good night, Aunt Angelina.
Dad's sister.
She moved in when my mother died.
I was 4.
I was 6.
- Your mom?
- No, my dad.
But it's never the same.
No, but what can you do?
Nothing.
Nothing.
I'll get you the keys to the car.
I'm a sophomore at the College of the
Sacred Virgin. Don't laugh.
- Next year I'm going to Harvard.
- Harvard?
That's something. I didn't apply there,
with my high school grades.
Not that they were terrible.
My grades are nothing special.
About a B-.
How did you get in?
Your Boards must have been monsters.
It's Dad.
He told Harvard I wanted to go,
and they said, "Sure."
Are we talking about the same Harvard?
In Cambridge, Massachusetts?
Of course. Harvard needs my dad.
They don't want strikes
by the janitors or gardeners.
All those old trees and lawns.
But he's an importer.
Right?
It's great meeting you, Clark.
A guy from Vermont.
Real American New England-y.
Hold on.
- He's an importer. Just tell me.
- He's an importer. Yes.
An extremely powerful importer.
There are such people.
So what is it?
- What is what?
- The package at the airport.
Hint. It's big.
Bring someone to help you out.
What is it?
If Dad didn't tell you, I can't.
It's not going to be a dead guy
in a box or something, is it?
What an imagination.
You're so unbelievably cute.
I'll see you again.
I could just eat you up.
Good luck tomorrow.
You boys need me?
- You Leo?
- I am Big Leo.
- It just says Leo.
- We are the same. Leo and Big Leo.
- You're synonymous.
- That's right.
Okay, come with me.
You don't bring it out?
No. Not this I don't.
"Not this I don't."
Remember those words.
Not very encouraging.
Here it is. All yours.
It arrived this morning
on the redeye from Borneo.
I'm going to puke my guts out.
- What is it?
- A lizard.
- That thing is a lizard?
- They call it the Komodo dragon.
Lives in Indonesia, Sumatra,
Komodo Island, in point of fact.
And tell Mr. Sabatini that this one...
...was eight bills extra.
- Excuse me?
Just tell him. He'll understand.
Sign here by the X.
Recipient.
- That's me.
- You're the recipient.
Put him in the back seat
with the windows open.
The gills need fresh air.
He doesn't have any gills.
Whatever. That's what I was told.
Fresh air.
And make sure you get
a seat belt on him, because...
...if he jumps on you...
...you got major troubles.
Major troubles.
Down, boy.
It's not a dog.
You know what?
We got to pick him up.
Pick him up.
- With what?
- With our hands.
It's not that bad.
I'll help you,
but I won't risk my life.
- Help. For God's sake.
- Sorry.
- I refuse to handle this animal.
- He's going under the truck.
- Get the door.
- You locked it, remember?
Take him.
Just for a second.
You're the recipient.
If he stains my suit, I'll be pissed.
Could you take any longer?
Okay, you go around
and get the other side.
Major trouble.
Put the seat belt on him.
- You're joking.
- I'm not joking.
This is precious cargo,
this freaking thing.
- What seat belt?
- Put him in this one.
Seat belts.
- Under his armpit.
- What armpit?
This lizard armpit.
Oh, that lizard armpit. I see.
You know...
- I think he's okay.
- Let's go.
Happy as a clam.
- Use the air conditioner.
- He said to leave them open.
Who? Haystack Calhoun? What is he?
A zoologist? I'll take responsibility.
All right.
I told you he'd throw up.
I have to open the windows.
It's murder.
Feeling better? Tummy ache all gone?
- It stinks in here.
- I can't take it.
We have to wash it off.
Pull into that gas station.
Excuse me. Hello.
- I need some water. A hose.
- Around the corner. Help yourself.
This way. It's around the back.
He went under a car.
You go that way.
Owner of the reptile,
report to the information booth.
- Don't panic.
- What if I can't find him?
Leave the country for 10 years.
You're kidding? I'm serious!
Security to Concourse B.
Okay, go.
Slowly.
I'm losing him.
I'm afraid now.
Mr. London?
Edward?
Look!
It's here!
Finally.
- Are you Edward?
- I am.
Oh, what a beautiful specimen.
Has this bad boy been swimming?
We took him right here
from the airport.
They just love swimming pools.
But...
...chlorine.
I told him he is
very disobedient dragon.
For joke.
It's a good joke. Very unusual.
Without humour, what do we have?
Beautiful, yes?
- This is like a zoo?
- This is like a zoo.
Can you believe this?
- So, do you exhibit rare animals?
- On occasion.
Who are these boys?
Carmine said one boy...
...here are two.
This is Mr. Larry London.
- Mr. London, I'm Clark Kellogg.
- Carmine said one boy...
...here are two.
I realize that, sir. We are two boys,
as you quite rightly point out.
However, I'm somewhat
new to the area...
...and this particular parcel
was quite bulky...
...so at the suggestion of Tina...
- Ah, die schne Tina.
The beautiful Tina.
Yes, the beautiful Tina.
If there was a misunderstanding...
Carmine said one boy...
...and here are two.
You gotta like this guy.
Smells like basil.
Very good.
A cream basil sauce.
You're a chef?
I wasn't clear what you did.
Now you'll get your money.
The money...
The money is conveyed
in a brown paper bag.
- Not very attractive, I know.
- No problem, sir.
If you count it, I won't mind.
That won't be necessary.
I trust you and Mr. Sabatini.
That means,
"My heart swims in blood."
That's a Bengal tiger,
ladies and gentleman.
Something is way off.
Way off.
How are you, darling?
How's New York?
I miss you too. Like crazy...
...at the risk of sounding like a mother.
No, he's asleep, thank God. Why?
Well, the thing is I got this job.
New York is unbelievably expensive.
I had to.
It involved driving...
...and picking up a reptile.
What kind of a reptile?
I don't...
- It's a Komodo dragon.
- Who? Komodo dragon?
- I never heard of it.
- Then could you look it up?
- Komodo? Is that with a K?
- Right.
Koala.
Kodiak.
Komodo dragon. Here.
"Latin name is" Varanus komodoensis.
Main prey are deer and wild pig.
There are seven dragons
in zoos outside Indonesia. "
- Oh, my God! Oh, Clark.
- What?
"Chances for survival
are considered hopeless."
It's an endangered species.
My God.
- Are you sure?
- There's a red asterisk next to it.
That means virtually extinct.
- What's this job?
- Never mind, I'll quit.
A Komodo dragon.
Don't worry. I didn't know.
That's him.
You sure?
Absolutely. That's Dwight Armstrong's
stepson. Unbelievable.
Is Mr. Sabatini here?
Yes. Come in.
Charlie, wait a minute.
General Motors went down 10 points,
and you didn't call?
What about Polaroid?
It went down?
Down what?
I told you before,
I don't like it when they go down.
I used to have another broker.
He bought stocks for me
that went down.
And it got very unpleasant.
Very unpleasant.
Wait a minute. That's right.
Next time you call me,
I want to hear good news.
Right? That's only good news.
I must be getting soft.
Business.
Business in this country
is run by children, not men.
Anyway. Forget it.
- A nice espresso?
- No, thank you.
Sir, I have to talk to you.
I want to tell you something.
Larry London called me.
He couldn't stop talking.
He went on and on.
He's a very interesting man.
- I heard of the adventure at the mall.
- You did?
Of course.
Clark, what's on your mind?
I have to talk to you.
It's about these...
- It's about these reptiles.
- What about them?
They're endangered.
Not anymore. They're fine in Jersey.
It's against the law
to bring them here.
It's a crime.
You're speaking in generalities.
You said my work here was legitimate.
It's perfectly legitimate.
No, it's not.
I'm illegally transporting
endangered species.
Please, sir,
I'd like to be let out.
This is an impossibility.
What do you mean?
I have a certain standing in business.
How would it look, some college kid
making me look like a fool?
This is humiliation.
It's "infamia."
Know what people will say?
"What's wrong with him?"
You understand what I'm saying?
I'd never tell a soul.
It wouldn't leave this club.
I only meant that...
- Are you trying to hurt my feelings?
- No.
That's not the issue at all.
I'm going to tell you something
from my heart.
You're a great boy.
You are one of a kind.
Thank you.
The kind of kids I used to have
working for me, the mooks...
...the muscleheads.
But you, you're from Connecticut.
It's nothing personal.
It's not you.
In any discussion
about our relationship...
...we won't forget
the most important thing.
Which is...?
You marrying my daughter.
You should have heard Tina.
Clark this, Clark that.
She wants to get married yesterday.
I said, "Wait for spring.
Planning takes time."
The food, place, time of year.
Who to invite, who not to invite.
That's important.
You got to figure that my
business associates alone...
...must be 2000 people.
Not including the senators,
congressmen, judges.
And don't forget the police.
But you know, love.
Love doesn't ask
these questions, right?
Yeah, I guess.
Come outside.
I got a little surprise for you.
Come on.
I don't know where this talk
of marriage began, but I'm not ready.
I'd like to sample life a little bit first.
Wait. After you get married,
you sample life.
This is what men do.
Marriage is an institution.
It's the bedrock of society.
What you're talking about
is a little va-voom.
This is self-understood.
I'm talking about social order.
Try to put yourself in my position.
I wish I could, Clarkie.
You're such a beautiful boy.
- Know why I'm so nuts about you?
- I don't, no.
Because you're not a sneak.
You come down to my club.
You open your heart to me.
You say what's on your mind.
That's how I know
you won't be a snake.
A snake in the grass.
That's how I know
you'll be loyal to me...
...until death.
Until death.
Like a real son.
Oh, I don't know.
The son I never had.
I got an engagement present for you.
It's not much, but it's from my heart.
For me?
You're a lucky guy.
Take it for a little spin.
Go pick up Tina.
She's waiting at school.
I understand.
Sometimes in life...
...these emotions are beyond words.
Go ahead.
College of the Sacred Virgin in Queens.
Let's move it.
He kissed me on the mouth.
You know how big this is?
The kiss of all kisses.
The highest! You're in for life!
It's like we're brothers.
God bless you.
Anything wrong with it,
we'll get you another.
You have fun.
Say when.
When.
Screw this.
Turn right. Right!
He's parking?
Hello?
I want it to be very conventional,
old-fashioned...
Oh, hi, Clark!
We have to talk.
This is Father Frank
of the music department.
We're discussing wedding music.
"Ave Maria" for the recessional...
Excuse us.
Of course. Congratulations, my son.
Thank you, Father.
- You're hurting me.
- I'm tense.
- I was involved in a car chase.
- And?
And? No "and."
This is part of your life,
but not mine.
People are flashing their lights at me.
I have to get away.
- It's just part of a working day.
- It is not!
You weren't forced
to commit to my father.
It's beyond commitment.
It's like slavery.
People telling me who to marry!
- You don't want to marry me?
- I don't want to marry anybody yet.
So we'll wait.
We don't have to rush into anything.
I know that you'll wait for me.
You're part of the family permanently.
"Permanently"?
Your father kissed me.
Vic says I'm in for life.
- You are.
- I'm not!
It's a fluke.
I got ripped off by this Vic.
And I caught up to him. What?
You think it was an accident
that you "caught up" to him?
You were chosen, Clark.
You were hand-picked.
- And it is the greatest honour.
- What are you saying?
Vic has great instincts about people.
He saw you where? Grand Central?
- It was a setup?
- "Setup" is so negative.
There are so many levels to this.
I just want my life back.
I can't talk to you
when you're so hysterical.
What is the deal? What is it?
Am I some kind of dupe?
They looked in my yearbook
and found a chump?
Are you serious? A dupe?
You think I'd marry a dupe?
Everybody's talking about the job
you're doing. It's all over town.
Larry London called my father.
He said how bright you were.
How gentle. How perceptive.
If you weren't all those things...
...would Vic be out now
getting you a gun permit?
I don't need a gun permit!
You will if you'll be carrying a gun.
People are chasing you.
That's quite a story. Charming.
I can't take it so lightly, sir.
It has a real film-noir quality.
Smuggling lizards into New Jersey.
If it was done right,
black and white, grainy...
...sort of "Kiss Me Deadly."
It's my life, not a film idea.
They are the same when perceived
through the twin lenses...
Clark Kellogg.
I'm Chuck Greenwald.
This is Lloyd Simpson.
We're from
the Department of Justice...
...Fish and Wildlife Division.
We've been looking for you.
- This is what I'm talking about.
- I know nothing about it.
We were discussing a film project.
Oh, God, I'm late.
Excuse me, please.
Mr. Kellogg.
This is actually a federal office?
We're undercover, Mr. Kellogg.
Special agents.
- I think I better contact a lawyer.
- You may.
You have a lawyer?
My stepfather.
- What?
- Your stepfather turned you in.
My stepfather?
How did he know anything about this?
You know a Carmine Sabatini,
also known as Jimmy the Toucan.
"Toucan" I never heard.
My stepfather?
Do you know Hans Kurt Schlegel,
alias Larry London?
- We've met. I don't know him...
- These men are fiends, Mr. Kellogg.
It's up to you to stop
their unspeakable activities.
What are you talking about?
You ever heard mention
of the Gourmet Club?
No.
Sabatini and Schlegel established
the Gourmet Club operation in 1985.
It's a moveable feast.
Never the same location.
Dinner's every three to six months,
depending on the catch.
No prices.
The minimum price for eating
at this club is $200,000 per plate.
- For dinner?
- Not just dinner, Mr. Kellogg.
The entire menu consists
of endangered species.
- They cook these animals?
- They do, yes, sir.
For an international clientele
of degenerates, scum, Euro-trash.
People pay $200,000
to eat these animals?
Minimum.
The more endangered,
the higher the price.
If there are 5 or less in the world,
it goes up to half a million.
- To eat the very last of a species...
- A cool million.
The dragon will be about
$350,000 a plate.
Served off the bone,
with a cream basil sauce.
That's Schlegel's trademark.
If they fillet it...
Schlegel likes to fillet...
...they can get 60 servings
out of one dragon.
That's a $20 million haul.
Mr. Sabatini wouldn't do that.
Who do you think he is, Bishop Tutu?
- I don't believe he'd do that.
- I want Sabatini!
- Before they serve that poor animal.
- Tell us where and when.
You want me to be an informer.
Or spend two years in Leavenworth.
- You'd lock me up for two years?
- I sure would.
Unless you give us the old man.
I'll think about it.
There's freedom in being screwed.
You know things can't get any worse.
Clark, you can't just split.
What would you do?
I'd turn him in and hate myself.
You'd do that?
I don't know.
Is Clark Kellogg
in one of these rooms?
He's here. Come right in.
He's here.
Clark mentioned something,
but I had no idea the resemblance...
- This is Steve Bushak, my roommate.
- My pleasure.
Could you leave us alone for a moment?
I want to talk to my son-in-law.
I'd really like to stay.
I'll be quiet as a mouse.
If you'd just leave us alone,
I'd appreciate it.
I'll get shoes and be on my way.
Could you put those on outside?
I have some...
Outside? I always do that.
Sit down.
I want to ask you something.
- You followed me.
- Followed you?
Yeah. A little bit, this evening.
Clark, I know when somebody's
following me.
I left the club and you were around
on the street, in a doorway.
Someplace.
Because I feel these things, you know?
Is this true?
Yes.
- I had a lot on my mind.
- You don't have to explain.
Looks like you're ready for bed.
- Soon.
- Want me to read you a bedtime story?
Tina used to love
Curious George, the monkey.
Every night I told her
a different story.
Curious George goes here,
Curious George goes there.
She knew them all by heart.
My real father used to read me those.
Who was the guy who used to take care
of Curious George, his keeper?
You mean the man in the yellow hat?
The man with the yellow hat.
Is this your real dad?
That's me when I was 3.
I was 6 when he died.
Motorcycle accident.
What business was he in?
He was a poet. He taught English
at the Putney School.
You know any of his poems?
A few of them.
- Tell me one.
- One of his poems?
Just tell me a short one.
One I like is called
"A Doorway on Boylston Street."
In Boston.
It's been a while since I did it.
There's a certain doorway
On Boylston Street
That I passed by on foot
Suited and shod
One of many each Tuesday
Toward lunch with a certain woman
Regarded each Tuesday
By the perfect turning gaze
Of a white Persian
Regarding me, lovebound
Sped by desire
And returning
To the certainty of his fur
This was a cat on the doorway?
"The certainty of his fur."
- You liked it?
- I like it very much.
Very much.
I like especially the fact
that you remember his poems.
Well, that's...
That's all I wanted to say.
And if there's anything
you have to tell me...
...I know that you will.
Yes.
You told me before that you
wanted to quit your job.
If you want to, it's all right.
I'll miss you.
It's all right. Get a good sleep.
Good night.
So this is college?
I didn't miss nothing.
A plane is waiting to take us
to Miami in an hour.
Don't make a big thing about it.
I know it was you, Fredo.
You broke my heart.
"You broke my heart."
"It was you, Fredo."
A moment of epiphany.
Michael Corleone kisses his brother.
An astonishing image...
...at once suggestive of love,
inversion, power...
...and in this world of duplicity
and corruption...
...is there anything more important
than loyalty...
- No.
...to friends...
...to family?
And who deserves our loyalty?
Yeah?
I need Clark Kellogg for a second.
You need Clark Kellogg for a second?
Why, may I ask, is it so urgent?
I'm Carmine Sabatini's daughter, Tina.
- Jimmy the Toucan?
- Nobody calls him that.
Just one second.
Up, Mr. Kellogg!
- I'll be right back.
- No hurry. I'm quite impressed.
Jimmy the Toucan?
He's quite a remarkable person.
I'm sure he is. Can I meet him?
That's a long shot.
Fine.
My father thinks Clark
is an A student.
- He's a fine young man.
- My father said an A student.
- Absolutely! A, A+!
- Okay.
Have a wonderful time.
Give my best to your dad.
Jimmy the Toucan!
Are you out of your skull?
- I was helping!
- I don't need help.
Fine. So I won't.
Where are we going?
Vic waved.
That's nice.
Everybody skate, come on.
Sir, we have to talk.
Pull them off. We gotta talk?
I have important things
to bring up with you.
- Do you have the clothes?
- In the locker room.
Get the clothes and change.
And then you'll drive us out.
Drive where?
We're going to go to the Gourmet Club.
This is Friday.
I have to talk to you first.
- We'll talk in the car.
- You promise?
Every word I say, by definition,
is a promise.
Come on.
Driving a Porsche
had always been appealing...
... until now.
"- Do you read" Newsweek"?"
- Sometimes.
I'm very worried
about this ozone business.
I'm really very concerned.
I have to talk to you.
You wanted to talk to me last night,
but couldn't do it.
I knew it would take you a day.
The feds are after me.
- You get their names?
- Greenwald and Simpson.
They said they'd put me in jail unless
I led them to the Gourmet Club.
- They won't send you to jail.
- They won't?
They're gonna blow your brains out.
I want to say you have done
an outstanding job.
Thank you. We appreciate it.
They work for the Bonelli family...
...out of South Amboy.
- Not for the government?
They do, but they're on the take
for the Bonellis.
- Staggering, isn't it? The corruption.
- Yeah, the corruption is...
- He's driving around with mobsters.
- College kid. It's upsetting.
These guys are after you
for the Bonellis...
...and they just used me.
- And once they get you...
- Then they hit you.
My God! This is terrible.
That's the way it's done.
I'm sorry I got you into this...
...but you're in it and we'll
get you out of it.
My God!
He had a way out.
A plan to entrap Greenwald
and Simpson...
... and get him out
of the endangered-species racket.
Hint. It involved using me
and the lizard as bait.
This would be the final dinner
of the fabulous Gourmet Club.
Tequila!
Ladies and gentlemen...
...your cohost for this evening,
Mr. Carmine Sabatini.
With him are his daughter,
Tina, and her fianc Clark Kellogg...
...from the great state of Montana.
Let's have a Gourmet Club welcome
for Carmine and the happy couple.
Tequila!
Ladies and gentlemen,
the moment we've all waited for.
The moment that makes the Gourmet
Club the special place it is.
Our main course,
served for the very last time...
...on this, our planet Earth...
...your Komodo dragon.
There he is
Your Komodo dragon
Yes, there he is
One of eight
With so many species
He took the town by storm with his
Continental taste and charm
Go into this cornfield. It's deserted.
Good.
A Rob Roy with a twist.
You?
Diet Coke.
- Did my uncle bring you up-to-date?
- Yeah.
We'll be killed
by Greenwald and Simpson.
They're with the Bonellis
out of South Amboy.
That's stretching.
There's a chance we'll be killed.
It's not a lot.
We need to get you
adequately prepared.
- An Italian passport.
- Open it.
Is that a piece of work?
What is this?
"Rodolfo Lasparri?"
I got to tell you.
We may be on a plane to
Palermo, Sicily tonight...
...if we're still walking.
- I don't want to go to Palermo.
- Ever been?
- No.
- Then you can't judge, Rodolfo.
I'm not going!
I can't take it! I don't want to
spend the rest of my life hiding.
- I want this resolved!
- You do?
Yes!
- Why are you smiling?
- As usual, Uncle Carmine was right.
You're ready. Ready for Freddy.
"Ready for Freddy"?
It's showtime. In two minutes,
you go outside and signal the feds.
What the hell is that?
Fish and Wildlife doesn't mean
we're social workers.
Ladies and gentlemen, your cohost
for this evening, Mr. Larry London!
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
This is a very special evening
for all of us.
For tonight you will eat one
of only eight Komodo dragons...
...left in the entire world.
Which is why it has been priced at...
...$350,000 a plate.
Service included!
Thank you for paying in advance.
Without these monies...
Smells good.
I want you to take half of it...
...and put the rest in the steamer.
Go ahead.
He wants you to help him
with the dragon.
Good luck, not that you need it.
Everybody's confident.
The kid is signalling us.
- You sure?
- Absolutely.
I crossed the dance floor,
heart pounding.
In a few minutes
I would be free, dead...
... or Rodolfo Lasparri
of Palermo, Sicily.
It was all up to me.
The show was about to begin.
The lizard was more nervous than me.
We were in the same boat.
Everybody out. Get out.
- Give me that dragon!
- Freeze! Department of Justice!
Sabatini, Schlegel...
...you're under arrest.
- What's the charge?
- Import and attempted slaughter...
...of "Varanus komodoensis,"
also known as the Komodo dragon.
- It's over, old man.
- You betrayed me.
You betrayed me.
Stand back!
Drop it or I'll shoot.
- How could you do this?
- Sir...
How could you betray me?
Oh, my God, Carmine.
I had no choice.
- You all saw that.
- You had no choice.
It was fate.
No matter how you feel, you're a hero.
I'm numb.
Cigarette?
I'd love one.
- I had feelings for him.
- I'm sure you did.
A technical matter.
The money. We need it for evidence.
It's there in the large tureen.
Good work, kid.
We gotta impound the evidence.
Job well done.
Everybody wait here.
- Congratulations.
- Come on.
- I guess we should go.
- I'm not going anywhere.
- Son...
- Don't call me son.
- I had no choice.
- You didn't have to turn me in.
- Lf it was your son...
- I'd have treated him like a son.
I'd treat my stepson
like he was my son.
- Clark, that animal...
- Dwight, good night!
Tell Mom I'll call her tomorrow.
Good night.
FBI, gentlemen.
Greenwald, Simpson,
you're under arrest for violating...
...your oath of office, conspiracy,
fraud, extortion, RICO Act violation.
Put the cuffs on them.
The old man set us up.
Sabatini?
- With the kid!
- Watch the corn, gentlemen.
I'm getting too old for this nonsense.
We done?
We're done.
- How are you doing?
- I'm a wreck.
Sorry to interrupt,
but they're restless.
All right, Hans,
what are we serving for dinner?
Hawaiian tiger fish...
...mixed with smoked turkey
from Virginia.
Smoked turkey?
It's all a scam?
- The Gourmet thing?
- This is an ugly word, "scam."
This is business.
In business, this is what you do.
$350, 000 for smoked turkey.
But the Gourmet Club
had a great last night.
Dwight went back to Vermont.
Greenwald and Simpson went to jail.
"The animals went to the Bronx" Z"oo's"
Sabatini Endangered Species Wing.
Carmine was a philanthropist now.
And me? I was just a student.
- You wouldn't have done it.
- Of course not.
That's why we never told you.
He knew that Dwight
was my stepfather...
...and he'd call Fish and Wildlife?
- Of course.
- He's like a genius.
- He's like a genius.
Good night, "Liebchen."
You've always been my great love.
I can say it since I'm leaving.
Fantastic job, young man.
Great!
We're going to some clubs.
Nice work.
Take it easy.
The show's over.
So marriage is...
Please.
- Good. Not that l...
- I know.
- Tell you what I'd really like.
- What's that?
I want to spend the night
in your dorm room.
- Really?
- Yes, very much.
I would love that. Get to know
each other under calm circumstances.
I'll go help Vic.
It's all over now.
You can go back to Vermont.
You remember?
I always knew.
I'm sorry you had to
go through this nonsense, but...
...it turned out good.
- Sure.
It was just...
It just was.
I'll tell you something.
You were brave.
- I was proud of you.
- Thank you.
Anyway, I hope you have a good life.
You know...
...I meant everything I told you.
What's the matter with you?
You turned out to be a bum.
Come on, come on.
If it weren't for me,
you could have been a handbag.
- He don't want to walk.
- They don't really walk.
I'll get him. I can pick him up.
- Let me help you.
- I got him.
I want to tell you something.
When you finish film school,
I'd like to call you.
I know a lot of people in Hollywood.
I could open some doors for you.
Give you some opportunities.
- No, I don't think that's necessary.
- Really, it's easy for me.
I just make a phone call
and make it easy for you.