Good morning, Judge.
Jonathan Xavier.
You stand before me today
accused of low crimes
such as theft
and civil disobedience.
What have you to say
for yourself?
Mr. Xavier,
you've been given full bounty
of our society's benefits,
yet you choose to flaunt
your disrespect
for everything decent
by means of repeated
transgressions against us.
All we ask of our citizens
is a modest conformity,
but even that seems
to be too much for you
and your misguided followers.
So now you're going to have
to listen to my verdict.
Do your worst, Counselor.
I'm counting on it.
In as much as you insist
on being an outsider
and laughing at
the rules and traditions
of our advanced civilization,
I am exiling
you to a place
which has no adherence
to either.
Observe.
Under your desks, children!
Yeah?
Well, I don't care!
You can end me to any pus-y,
scab-covered boil you want.
At least
I'll be going places.
I'm the guy your parents hate!
Young man, do you really
wish to become that?
Undisciplined, irreverent...
Tasteless!
I'd like to advise you to choose
your next words carefully,
because this may
be your last chance
to find grace among
your own people.
Oh, yeah, baby.
What is this thing
he's got?
Guard!
You little monster!
Jonathan Xavier...
An unselfish act will
bring you home.
Be wise,
for what it's worth.
Until that time,
I have no choice but
to sentence you...
...to Earth!
She's close.
Mmmm.
I can almost
taste her.
Let's fade.
Woo!
We surrender, we surrender!
I'd like to say a word
about Chesterfields.
Chesterfields are
milder-smoking, better-tasting
and cooler.
See "Beatnik Barbecue"
starring screen sensation Robin Wray.
Here you go, baby.
It's a gasper.
We interrupt this program
to bring you a late-breaking
news bulletin.
The southwest's Rockin'
Shamrock, Mickey O'Flynn,
"The Man with the Grin,"
is missing.
A search of O'Flynn's Arizona
mansion yielded no clues.
O'Flynn was
last seen rehearsing
for his first public appearance
in several years.
Show producer King Clayton who
lured the reckless recluse
back into the limelight for a
concert scheduled this weekend,
admits that the rootin',
tootin', shootin' star
failed to
show up for a rehearsal.
What can I say?
The rootin', tootin', shootin'
star failed to show up
for a rehearsal.
O'Flynn's following at the
height of his success
surpassed all but a few in
the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
But even after the bright
lights dimmed,
O'Flynn remained
loyal to his fans.
If you or anyone you know is in
possession of any information
that may lead to a
resolution to this crisis,
please contact your
local authorities.
And now this...
You're a star, Snooky!
Yeah, well, they're not exactly
lining up for autographs.
Let's just keep it that way.
What can I get you?
Make it cold and wet,
handsome.
A pop?
With a twist
of lime.
Chip.
My name is Bliss.
Repeat it.
Bliss.
That's nice.
I like the way
you say that.
Let's try another one.
You see that desert?
Yeah, I see it.
You know what's sitting
out there?
No, what?
Lizards.
Lizards?
That's right.
A whole
bunch of lizards.
Do you know what those
lizards are doing?
They're looking for me,
that's what they're doing.
And you know why?
They want to lick me.
Lick you?
You mean...
Doesn't matter.
All that does matter is
you're no lizard,
and that you
don't remind me of him.
"Him."
Him?
Johnny X.
Oh, him.
My boyfriend.
Oh... him.
I've been in that Godforsaken
desert for 40 days and 40 nights
without so much as a Popsicle
to keep me company,
all to get away from
Johnny and his pack of jackals.
But a lizard doesn't always have
to be a lizard, Chip.
Just like a soda jerk doesn't
always have to be a soda jerk.
He can change.
Or someone
can change him.
You wanna go for a spin
in my motor-rotor?
Groovy.
Let's go.
I need a little tiger
in my tank.
But my shift,
it isn't-
Your shift?
Chip, what did
we just talk about?
Maybe you need to
shift gears.
I'm going.
Going... I'd like to, I would.
But this is my life,
right here in this diner.
I'm solid gone.
Wait!
He's here!
See this "A?"
Uh-huh.
It's an "A" for Annette
Whoa, man!
Do you like my "A?"
Uh-huh.
Well look at it and like it
'cause it's all that you get
See this "B?"
See this "H? "
It's a "B" for Bobbi
It's an "H" for Hope
Do you like my "B?"
Do you like my "H? "
Well look at what
you like
But can you touch it?
No!
We wanna rage
We wanna fight
We wanna rumble
all through the night
We wanna rip
Ha!
We wanna roar
Hey!
We wanna wreck
and then come back for more
Yeah
Johnny's waiting
contemplating
Anticipating a brawl
And he won't go far
'Til the tar is beat out
of every one of you all
They wanna
choke they wanna crack
They wanna give
a few heads a whack
We wanna pound
We wanna punch
They wanna bust up
our business lunch
Right! There's nothin'
I like better...
Better than... ...
than breakin' a jaw or two
Oh, yeah!
We wanna rage
We wanna fight We
want to take a big bite
And we wanna begin
Begin Begin Begin
With you!
Sucker! Pulverize him!
Oh yeah,
right there.
Rip his ears off!
That's right- still,
no word on the mysterious
disappearance
of Cactus Rock
legend Mickey O'Flynn.
Wait a minute, you goons.
I wanna hear this.
A search of O'Flynn's residence
revealed no new evidence.
None of
O'Flynn's seven ex-wives
could be reached
for comment.
That cat
that Mickey O'Flynn
He's one of the reasons
I'm here
He's one of
the reasons I am what I am
One of the reasons
I have no fear
That cat
We wanna rage
That Mickey O'Flynn
We wanna fight
And forever must he roam
We wanna rumble
Like all us lost
and lonely souls
Amen
I hope he finds his way
back home
Johnny oh Johnny
Why can't you Johnny
be good?
Behave a bit more normal
Like an earthly
teenager should
Johnny oh Johnny
Bliss Bliss
You is my woman
You must not fight indoors
Now and forever
Just let them go
Ahhh And then you know
Ahhh...
I will give to you what
rightfully is yours
Don't do it Bliss
He can't be trusted
He should be busted
without any bail
No deals Bliss
Have you forgotten?
His love is rotten
and cold and stale
Don't do it Bliss
Don't worry about me Chip
He can't be trusted
He should be busted without any
bail I can take care of myself
No deals Bliss have you forgotten
Please let us go
His love is rotten
and cold and...
Just let us go.
Let 'em go?
Baby I can't do that
Let 'em walk away into
the desert sun
Let 'em go?
We'll take our chances
Baby I won't do that
Walkin' in the sun would
not be any fun
No
Give us a break
I got my self respect
No
And let us go
And I got
their respect
No He's got a
reputation to protect
'Cause firstly and lastly
I still am the Ghastly One
Let 'em go?
Baby I can't do that
Not a day for walkin' in
the desert sun
Let 'em go?
Baby I won't do that
A hundred degrees or more
and that ain't fun
No
No
I got my self respect
No
No
And I got their respect
No He's got a
reputation to protect
'Cause firstly and lastly I
still am the Ghastly...
Cage 'em!
We wanna rage
We wanna rage
We wanna fight
We wanna fight
we wanna rumble
all through the night
Johnny oh Johnny
Why can't you
Johnny be good?
Don't do it Bliss She
can take care of herself
Yeah!
He can't be trusted
Johnny's tired
of waiting
And anticipating
Rumble rumble rumble
A brawl
Bop shi waddy waddy
And I won't go far
'til the tar is beat out
of every one of you all
They wanna choke
Don't let them get away
They wanna crack
Don't let them get away
They wanna give our two heads
a whack Give you a whack
We wanna pound
Help!
We wanna punch
Help!
We wanna bust you up
before lunch
There's nothing I like
better Don't do it Bliss
Don't worry Chip
Than breaking a jaw or two
I can take care
of myself
We wanna rage
We've got to
get away get away
We wanna fight
Don't stop
just get away get away
We wanna take
Too hot to get away
get away
A real big bite
He should be busted Why
can't you Johnny be good?
And we're gonna begin...
This is our chance
Gonna begin...
Our very last chance
With you!
Where is it?
Where are you
hidin' it, dollface?
Up your asteroid.
Ahh-ahh-ahh...
Aw, who's the loser now? Squaresville.
Starts with "B" and it
ain't Bobbi, that's for sure.
I'm not exactly sure what's
going on around here, but...
Yeah, you and the rest
of your world.
It's your call,
baby doll.
Give me what I want.
Do that...
and your little friend
here might actually live
to tell the tale.
You wouldn't dare.
Give it back to me...
or pay the price.
To think I was actually
in love with you...
If that's the way
you wanna play the scene.
Hold on.
What's he doing?
Careful!
Oh my God!
Let's spark that plug!
Get in!
We'll catch up with
them later, back inside, now!
You, out!
Let's fade, baby!
To black!
I charge you, as you value
the secret of that device,
to do nothing and say nothing
of this episode.
I know where
the girl is hiding
and can guarantee
her safe return.
I'm feeling very
uncomfortable, Snooky.
Fear not, my pet.
Except opening nights,
sober critics,
or a poker player
holding a winning hand,
which I assure you, my
leather-clad warrior,
I most assuredly am.
What should we
do, boss?
Should we
make him talk?
Knock his block, clean
his clock?
Get cool, Paulie.
If this fine, upstanding citizen
and his fine upstanding...
wife?
Girlfriend.
Whatever.
...have anything
to tell us,
I'm sure that's
exactly what they're gonna do,
Right?
That's right,
super-duper, Daddy-o.
So.
Where is she?
I really couldn't say.
Oh, that's it, boss- Let me
rock him, let me sock him!
Unless you agree
to assist me.
You know,
tit for tat.
What?
Nice hat.
Kill the engine,
chuckles.
Gosh.
I used to see
double-features here.
I've never seen a picture show
at the drive-in.
You haven't?
Almost all of these
babies are gone,
just like the buffalo
and the 35-cent hamburger.
I can't believe you've never
been to a drive-in.
I have, just
not for the show.
I thought I told you
to kill that engine.
I'm sorry.
I've never done anything
like that before.
I've never done anything
like any of this before.
Well, I have, more times
than you can imagine,
and it always
comes out the same way.
I'm sorry.
So who are those punks
and what do they want?
You don't wanna know.
I think I should know, now that
I'm on their must-hit list.
They call themselves
"The Ghastly Ones".
The Ghastly Ones?
What are they,
musicians?
Not quite.
Chip...
I'm in a bit
of a bind right now
and I could really
use your help.
I've never said
that to anyone before,
at least, not with
my clothes on.
Why me?
Because, you're...
...different.
I knew the moment
I first met you
You're someone
I could trust
So when I ask
you, please believe me
It's something
that you must
And though your
questions might persist
Even after we
have kissed
They'll be answered
by...
These lips
that never lie
What I must tell you
won't be easy
For you to understand
The trouble
I have gotten into
Was totally unplanned
If you provide
the help I need
cross my heart when
we succeed
You can satisfy...
These lips
that never lie
I'd never deceive you
like a common tramp
And I swear I'll
relieve you...
Wait, I'm getting
a cramp!
But first I must
complete my mission
'Cause that is
why I'm here
So listen close
and pay attention
I'll make it
very clear
Just save
the universe with me
And I guarantee
you'll be
Compensated by...
These lips
that never lie
Okay.
You talked me
into it.
Now, what's
this all about?
The Ghastly love
of Johnny X.
Him again?
What's he got
that I haven't got?
And what makes that creep so
all-powerful over you?
Johnny comes from a
place... very far from here.
He was powerful,
even there.
One day he came to us
with this dastardly device.
He called it
the resurrection suit.
When he put on that suit
he could control anyone,
especially if they're wired
to receive the frequency
of his brainwaves.
You poppin' pills?
I was his
first subject.
What are those?
What do you think?
Implants?
No, they're real,
Chip.
You wanna touch 'em?
No, no, no-
I know what those are.
I meant those
other...
things.
How do you think he forced
me out of the car?
But, all he
had was a glove.
That's why he could only make me
do nasty things with one hand.
So this suit
really does exist?
Be careful!
If this is what
you say it is,
how in the world did you
get him to give it to you?
I didn't.
I pinched it.
All except for
the glove.
Just save
the universe with me
And I guarantee
you'll be
Compensated by...
These
lips that never
These lips that
never
These lips
that never lie!
Welcome to my
little corner of paradise.
Nice digs.
They were gonna
wreck this place.
Yeah, bang, zoom!
Tear it down, until Lil and
I stepped in to saved it.
Nice stepping.
Nearly broke my heart
to think of...
the money-making
potential of this place
at the mercy of those
big balls.
Wrecking balls.
So, we just borrowed some money,
and whammo, here we are.
Whammo- Broke!
Yeah, that's all very
interesting
but I'm still not sure why we
bothered to show up for class.
So cut to the chase, see,
or we're droppin' out, you dig?
Spill it.
I suppose that all of you
are aware, indeed,
quite paralyzed with fear,
over the recent disappearance
of a certain cactal crooner.
The Man
with the Grin?
The very same.
He's one of the reasons
I came here.
He sure is. One of the
reasons we all came here.
Well, stay close.
And no flash photography,
please.
We're still
rehearsing.
I saw you
standing there
With the moonlight
in your hair
And I smiled and sighed
And said
that's for me
That's for me
I heard no
other sound
When my heart began
to pound
And I smiled
and sighed and said
That's for me
That's for me
I looked deep into
those eyes
So blue
So young
And I knew those happy
wedding bells
Would soon...
"Be-uti-ful."
What the hell's going
on here, Clayton?
When you look at
the stars, baby,
what do you see?
Well, gosh.
I think about Superman and
how he was raised on a farm
just like me.
He was born in the stars
you know.
I see possibility...
Countless possibilities...
Endless possibility...
They're mighty inviting
aren't they?
The stars.
I could do
with a cool one.
You slay me, sailor.
We should run
off together...
See Mexico, Canada...
Maybe book a tramp steamer
to the south seas.
I've always longed to see
the Black Hole of Calcutta.
But first, we gotta stop
by my uncle's
and get you a cold one.
I think you'll really like him,
he's a pretty hep cat.
You better pray this
harebrained scheme of yours
works and we can pay off
those thugs.
You bought this mausoleum and
you better fill it with bodies,
'cause if you don't,
we are lock, stock,
and bone broke, baby.
And if you can't feed the kitty,
you ain't gettin' the pretty.
Slash out
the pussy-footin'.
Look, Daddy-o.
Where I come from,
if a man wants to drag,
first he shows the other cat
what he has under his hood.
I'm willing to lay all my cards
on the table, Mister X.
That's the only way
I've ever played the game.
Indubitably.
When I booked the great
Mickey O'Flynn on this gig,
I was confidant that his
return would pack an ass
into every seat in
this house,
but my trusting and generous
nature betrayed me yet again.
It seems that
Mister O'Flynn was...
not the man he once was.
Copy that.
So I stopped by his
dressing room yesterday
to give him a little
pep talk.
All right, all right,
let's get to the point.
And sharpen it!
I can do better
than that.
You know, this business takes
your heart and then your soul.
I mean, that's why it's
tough for me, Clayton.
I mean, I'm
eaten up inside.
I'm all sucked dry.
It was different when
I was back on top.
What are you
talking about?
Why, Lily here's one of your
biggest fans, one of your
greatest admirers,
right, Lil?
Biggest.
Greatest.
Why, I don't mind telling you
it's been the dream of my life
to work on a show with you.
You know, we're going
to pull this thing together,
the two of us,
and then we'll both be
back on top again.
"We"?
Your fans are
counting on you.
I don't have any fans.
All I got, a bunch of pesky
ghouls waiting for me to pop off
so my autograph'll
be worth more.
I can't face 'em.
They all wanna
see me dead.
What are you
talking about?
They all love you,
we love you.
Right, Lily?
Biggest.
Greatest.
Well, here's a
little news.
I don't love you,
I don't love anybody,
I don't love them.
I mean, this rock and roll
bullshit is a bunch of crap!
And you can stick it
up your keister!
You're parasites!
It's cold.
Cold?
Cripes, Mickey, we're in the
middle of a friggin' heat wave.
I'm roasting here.
Oh, well, you are,
but I feel
the winter coming.
I feel the black plague,
it's coming to get me.
Forget about it.
You got the jitters,
I don't blame you.
It's been a while since you've
been in front of an audience.
The most important thing
is that you believe
in what you're doing.
You want me to believe
in what I'm doing?
Look.
If the curtain goes
up tomorrow night
and you're
not on that stage
torturing that guitar and making
love to them high notes,
you'll be finished.
Maybe I want to be.
No, I don't think so.
I know you
better than that.
I've followed your career
for a long time
and one of the things
I was most impressed with
is that you care about
your music,
if nothing else.
Look...
Just knuckle down.
Give yourself a break.
Give me a break.
You?
This is my last shot,
O'Flynn.
I owe a bloody fortune
to a bunch of loan sharks.
If you're not on that stage
tomorrow night,
I'm a dead man.
Okay.
We got a problem
here, Clayton.
The spirit of Rock and Roll
dictates that I do what I want
to do and managers
be damned.
Now you're asking me
to go against that spirit,
to do what my premonition
tells me not to do.
To help my fellow
man, to help you?
Is that about
the gist of it?
In a nutshell, yes.
Okay.
Just as long as we understand
each other, buddy.
How about a cigar?
Oh, no thanks, man,
those things'll kill you.
I think I got some smokes
over there, do you mind?
Oh, I wondered
where those went.
Get some more
of those.
Oh.
Here you go.
Thank you,
Mr. Claymation.
Clayton.
Claytie.
Claytie rock.
I'll tell you what,
Mickey.
You've always
dealt with vultures.
Now, that's- That's
all over.
How about a toast?
To the collaboration
of Mickey O'Flynn,
the Man
with the Grin,
and King Clayton.
Long live the King
of Cactus Rock.
Mickey?
Mickey?
What happened?
The son of a bitch just
reneged on his contract.
Huh?
Holy shit,
Batman.
I'm sorry, kid.
I know how much you
admired him.
Big sleep.
Bad break.
Bad smell.
You can get him up and moving,
right, for the concert?
Johnny can get
anything up with that suit.
Can't you, Johnny?
You know I can, baby.
But I won't.
Not this time.
Not to my own...
Is there something
I should know?
Yeah, you promised
me Bliss and the suit,
yet you delivered nothing
but a dead cracker!
Now...
Now what do you have
to say about that?
There you are.
Abracadabra!
Uncle King!
"Uncle"? You know these hoods?
Some newly acquired
business pals.
Except some of us are
more than pals.
And some of us
aren't pals at all.
I can't believe you
did this to us.
You knew
they were after us!
What the hell is that?
Now Chip, I told you never
to come in here.
What happened?
It was an
unfortunate development,
but the show must go on.
All right, lover.
You stole the suit and now
I'm going to steal it back.
And since it seems...
you don't
have it on you,
I'm guessing you stashed it in
that mean machine of yours.
Am I warm?
Is that the sweet smell
of soda jerk on your lips?
You might get the suit, but
you will never get me back.
Go screw!
We did.
Really?
Uh-oh.
Oh.
Yeah.
Yeah!
Get her!
Ladies!
This isn't the place,
all right?
Hey, come on,
come on, come on.
Come on, come on.
The world's most
wanted car.
I wonder what's inside?
It'd be a shame if I had to
turn all this fine chrome
into tinfoil
just to find out.
But then, you know, down here,
we've all got free will,
don't we?
You lie, Johnny!
I sure as hell don't
have any free will.
Because if I did, you would
tell your gorillas turn me loose
so I could go over there and
kick your greasy ass!
So, the mouse roars.
All right, boys-
Let him go.
You should have 'em
neutered.
It'd improve
their disposition.
Come on, soda jerk.
Make your play.
Easy for
you to say.
You're the one
who's armed.
I like you, Soda.
Maybe you have what it takes
to be a Ghastly One.
Come on, come on,
come on, come on.
And maybe you have what it
takes to be a soda... jerk!
All right, how do you
wanna do this?
Me, bare knuckles.
You, tire irons, chains,
blades, whatever you want.
Hey Johnny, don't take
any chances.
Give him the pill.
Yeah Johnny,
the big pill!
The big pill!
Wait!
Not that.
Have a Coke.
Thanks.
Ah, the pause
that refreshes.
Hey, hey, hey,
hey, man.
Forget about this
testosterone-driven bullshit.
We have more important
business at hand.
Johnny, if you're half
the man I think you are,
you'll honor our deal.
Resurrect the Man with the Grin
for the rebel-rousin' show
of a lifetime!
And Chip...
Chip, if you're the
freckle-faced sweet kid
I know you are, you'll put
this one out to pasture.
So how about it?
What do you say,
fellas?
She's all yours,
Daddy-o.
Just stay
out of my way.
If you're smart, you'll
stay out of hers, too.
I hope you're happy,
now that you have what you want.
Likewise.
So, what's to do,
Johnny- What's to do?
We'll mobilize later at
the opera house.
Make yourselves
scarce for a little while.
I need some time alone.
Meditate.
Aces. Come on, kids, let's fade.
Hey, Johnny.
What do you say we give this
place the needle, huh?
You and me.
And go where?
Another empty desert town,
with empty desert dreams?
It wouldn't be empty.
Not with me there.
We never do it anymore,
Johnny.
Why the brush?
Come on...
You know why.
Yeah.
Because of her.
You're saving yourself
for her, it's cute.
Look, I'm trying to
save us all from this rock.
After my...
unselfish act tomorrow,
we're home free.
It's a cinch. What makes you
think she wants you anymore
now that she's hot for
that milkshake?
She doesn't wanna go
home any more than you do.
You know
I love you, baby.
I just need some time alone,
all right?
You stay cool, Johnny.
Strange running
into you here.
I've been chasing you
across galaxies.
Always one step behind.
Always just shy of
being able to...
...measure up to your rep.
Your shadow.
Your size eight,
triple-Es.
Now that I've found you,
I don't know whether to hug you
or punch your lights
out, man.
I keep expecting to
look up and see you gone, man.
You and that plastic grin,
of yours.
That liar's grin.
Look at you now,
old man.
My own father.
You can't go anywhere now,
can you?
You can't
leave me this time.
I always knew I'd find
you someday.
I guess I just never
thought it'd be like this.
I wanted to share some kind
words with you, Dad.
That's all I ever wanted.
That and maybe-
Maybe a little
forgiveness.
We will have those words.
'Cause this ain't
over.
Not yet.
What's up with
Johnny?
Why are we hangin'
around?
This place is cute
But it's time to scoot
Because the resurrection
suit was found
What's up with
Johnny?
What's he
waiting for?
We've seen planet Earth for
what it's worth
But there's other
planets to explore
Johnny!
What's up with Johnny?
We are ready to blow
It's so damn hot that
we just sweat a lot
And now we
really, really got to go
Johnny!
What's up with
Johnny?
Boy, we're gonna be rich
Oh I ain't sure about
the whole damn thing
We gotta make him stay
out of the milky way
And far away from that
no good bitch
Picture a planet
a lot like this one
Not quite as crowded
and not as warm
Yes?
People so boring you'd
never miss one
And we were the gang
that would not conform
I'll believe you,
tell me more.
Johnny was never
a law abider
So he stole
the resurrection suit
Always a misunderstood
outsider
He had a plan
and it was a beaut'!
Beautiful, beautiful piles
of money
I knew I'd find
you someday
Before I got too old
But never guessed
that one day
Would be when
you're stone cold
What's up with Johnny?
So much is yet unspoken
What's he waiting for?
I've got to empty my heart
So he came down here
his intent was clear
You're tearing me apart!
Believe me!
I do
Daddy
Rich
Gotta scoot
Gotta go
Oh oh
Bitch!
Believe me
I do
Daddy
Rich
Believe me
Gotta go
Oh oh
Bitch
Gotta scoot
I do
Gotta go
Daddy
Rich
Bitch
Gotta scoot
I do
Oh oh
Rich
Bitch
Johnny!
Legendary rock star,
Mickey O'Flynn may not be
missing after all,
according to King Clayton,
the self-proclaimed impresario
in whose out-of-the-way
nightclub
O'Flynn is
scheduled to appear tonight.
In what has been expounded by
critics as nothing more
than a cheap publicity stunt.
Clayton held an early
morning press conference,
insisting the Man with the Grin
will go on as promised.
Like I said, the Man with the
Grin will go on as promised.
Well, good luck,
Mickey, wherever you are.
What's up with Johnny?
This ain't
like him at all
He's always cool and never
plays the fool
And never has
his back against the wall
What's up with Johnny?
We shoulda split
long ago
We'll make the cash
and then we'll split
We'll see if Johnny's
show's a hit
We're so
pissed off that we could spit
Just sit and wait and
wait and sit
I'll keep
my word and do the show
Hooray he's back
Come on
Let's go
Popcorn, popcorn!
peanuts!
I got the best popcorn,
peanuts in town.
Catch!
Get away from her,
this is my sister!
Don't talk
to her like that?
She doesn't take water
from just anybody.
How's our
star holding up?
Aces, Johnny.
When you shoot the juice
into the corpse,
he's gonna jump like
a jack rabbit in heat.
It better.
I don't wanna be
handing out refunds.
What's that smell?
Oh, that's jasmine.
Sluggo thought it would
be nice, on Mickey.
Who told him to think?
Hey, meathead.
Jasmine?
This ain't a sance,
okay?
Why don't you
make yourself useful?
Take those lines, run 'em over
the transformer, tie 'em in,
'cause your onboard
battery ain't gonna cut it.
I need more sizzle to make
this stiff hop.
Sluggo ain't your
personal errand boy.
Boss.
Tell you what, we'll talk about
your emancipation status
later, okay?
Right now, I really need you
to tie me into that board!
All right, stop.
Look.
We gotta get
the soul into my...
Into Mickey O'Flynn's body,
all right?
And it's gonna take guts-
And it's gonna take-
Gonna take focus and
character and power, all right?
We need to make that audience
feel all the love
that Mickey O'Flynn
ever felt, all right?
All the love from all the people
that made him what he was.
So dig deep,
deep into your souls.
Dig...
And give me all
you got.
'Cause I'm gonna need it.
You!
It's always about you,
prettyboy!
Digging into our souls
so you can have all the glory!
I'm the one strapped
into the suit.
I'm risking
my life for you, Sluggo.
For all of you!
For what?
For freedom, dipshit-
All right?
If this doesn't work,
we're stuck here forever.
You want that?
Maybe you should be the one to
try to pull this off, huh?
That's what I thought.
So this is it?
The good deed,
the unselfish act?
Our ticket home?
Honestly, Marty, I don't know
if what we're doing here
is gonna make me
a hero or send me spinning
straight into hell.
Get ready to spin,
pretty boy.
Changed your mind
about me?
A long time ago.
Why can't you
just be happy for me?
Because I don't like
milk shakes.
Come on, Bobbi.
Johnny.
I finally realize that as
powerful, as slick as you are,
you're really just
a coward.
Where's big daddy?
It's show time.
Here he comes, Johnny.
How do I look?
Like an undertaker.
Where's
hot biscuits?
Oh, she's
counting the receipts.
Some dames get nervous,
you know,
just before
the witching hour.
Hey, hey, babe.
We were just talking
about you.
Oh, yeah.
Weren't we?
Skadoodle, poodle.
Am-scray, toots.
Let's do this!
To be perfectly
honest with you,
I have never met anyone
so bewitching
and so utterly neat as you.
But I'm beginning to think that
this fascination of mine
is a one-way street.
Save the drama
for your mama.
I finally did something
exciting after all these years
of milkshakes and daydreams
and this is what I have
to show for it.
Chip.
I think I could
love you,
but I'm not
sure I have the time.
There's no greater show
in the whole universe
You couldn't do better you
sure could do worse
For now it's time for
The Man with the Grin
The rockin'
revival of Mickey O'Flynn!
I'm like a big
green bug-eyed monster
And I'm comin' after
you tonight
Just like a big
green bug-eyed monster
I wanna pick you up and
hold you tight
Oh you can try to hide
And you can try to run
But I'm hungry for love
Baby you're the one
I'm like a big green
bug-eyed monster
And I'm comin'
after you tonight
Who's your monster, honey?
I'm like a big
green bug-eyed monster
I need a little kiss
from you
Just like a big
green bug-eyed monster
I need some huggin' and
some kissin' too
Go on and
scream and shout
Go on and call a cop
Until I get some love
I ain't-a gonna stop
I'm like a big
green bug-eyed monster
And I need a little kiss
from you
Johnny, Johnny...
Johnny!
Ooga!
Booga!
Booga!
Ooga booga booga
baby don't be cruel
Ooga
Ooga booga booga
See the way
you make me drool
I'm like a big green
bug-eyed monster
And I want
you for my very own
Like a big green bug-eyed
monster
It's you and me
together all alone
You shouldn't be afraid
When you're with
me because
You're safe as you can be
Wrapped in
my scaly claws
I'm like a big green
bug-eyed monster
I want you
for my very own
Mickey!
Did it work?
Yes, handsome,
it worked great.
Wait a minute!
Wait just a second!
I just had a dream.
The bright sun
was extinguished
and the stars did wander,
darkling
in the eternal sky,
rayless and pathless
in the moonless air.
Morning came and went and came
and brought no day.
And men- you!
You forgot your passions
in the dread of this!
Your desolation.
Oh, bummer.
Now go and lead your lives
of quiet desperation.
Go on!
Get out!
Get out!
Oh, look at that.
Oh my God.
Look at that.
Mister O'-
Mr. O'Flynn?
Excuse me, I'm-
Would you please sign,
I'm a big fan.
I've admired you for
years. Thank you, man.
I bet, Mister-
He took my guitar!
Oh my God!
I might
just faint.
Don't faint yet,
darling.
Life's too short
to spend on your back.
Alone.
Oh, Mr. O'Flynn.
Whatever do you mean?
You have no idea.
My-my chariot
awaits, sire.
Hey, Mama.
Hey, Mama!
I've been a huge fan of yours
ever since "Grind Me a Pound"!
Aw, trash.
Ponderous,
puerile trash.
Oh no, no, it's
brilliant.
All of your songs are.
You know, I always
thought so.
I mean, hell, who'd
know better than I, right?
As I look out tonight over this
vast, celestial cavalcade,
it strikes me that
the things I like the most,
like myself, my good looks,
my personality,
my unrivaled musical talent-
Mickey- I'm your
number one fan!
My fans are gonna kill us,
Miss, uh...?
Dandi Conners.
That was wicked!
Thanks for
the rescue, man.
You're not from around
here, are you?
You know, I could use
a quick thinker like you,
a little muscle in my camp.
Come here.
How would
you like a job?
Yes, please.
Well, you're hired.
Welcome to the "shew".
I like
the sound of that.
What about me, Mickey?
I wanna be hired,
I want a job- What'll I be?
Well, Dandi darlin',
I'm going to be conjuring up
some deep and powerfully
profound thoughts.
How would you
like to chronicle them
for your buddy Mickey?
Would I!
Yes, you would.
Just a moment, Mick.
I forgot something,
but I'll be right back, okay?
I believe you mentioned
something about a chariot.
On our planet, pleasure and pain
is not to be experienced,
let alone enjoyed.
You should really
watch what you say in public.
You could give a fella
the... wrong impression.
You're a sweet kid,
but I'm a bit lost here.
Maybe I latched onto
the wrong...
boy.
Is it getting cold out
here or is that just you?
Oh, come on.
Don't be such
a thespian.
Chip?
No, Sluggo-
No, not the pill!
Anything but that,
Sluggo!
Not the big pill, please!
What's up with her?
A little too much freedom.
Oh my God, I used
to be just like that.
I guess I got better at
holding my liquor.
Mmm, you smell just
like jasmine, my favorite.
Mine too, I think.
Enough with
the chit-chat.
Let's agitate
the gravel.
Hold on.
Hey, sleeping beauty.
Johnny wants you
to have this.
Bliss!
Bliss,
where's Bliss?
A triumph, my pet.
Of course, it wasn't easy,
but nothing in the world is.
I'll tell you what.
Let's go share some of
this celebration with Mickey
and those juvenile delinquents
from outer space.
Hey, save some of that
celebration for me, big daddy.
Babe, the party
ain't starting
'til I see the whites
of your thighs.
Spoken like
a true romantic.
Oh!
Ah!
Oh!
Oh, hey, Chip...
I was just... I
was helping Lily with-
She's gone!
Who, the skirt? Bliss
- Her name is Bliss.
Chip, you know girls.
She probably just went to
the powder room or something.
She's been dusted alright.
That goon, Sluggo,
nabbed her, and Mickey too!
My Mickey?
Your investment!
Like I said, jasmine
would be scent number one on my list.
It is just
short of orgasmic.
Number two would be a citrus
scent of some type,
maybe mandarin or kumquat
or even something grapefruity.
After that, mmm, I don't know,
probably rose petals,
although
that's a bit light.
I'm a fan of heather and woodsy
smells like pine and birch
and anything
you'd find in nature.
Things "au naturel" as
they say in Europe.
When I was a kid,
honey was the bomb.
I'd pour honey onto bread,
in my tea, in my milk,
even on my eggs sometimes.
I was crazy
when I was a kid.
I'll let you in on
a little secret.
I still like to pour
honey onto certain things,
if you take my meaning...
It is so beautiful.
Thank you.
Cinnamon, nutmeg...
I mean, the infinity
of it all...
Honey, whipped cream,
chocolate sauce, butterscotch,
strawberry jam...
Bonbons?
Huh?
Do you like bonbons?
Oh, yeah-
They're aged,
but tasty.
That reminds me-
How old are you, darling?
18,
my favorite flavor.
Slugster.
What time is it,
please?
Almost midnight.
Perfect.
There's someone I'd want
to drop in on.
At this hour?
Thanks one and all for staying
tuned through that interlude.
And now let's bring back
the Potentate of Pleasantry,
the Sultan of Civility.
Who else could be better
company, but Cousin Quilty?
Shut up.
We're having
a discussion here.
We're with the lovely
Miss Robin.
Actress.
Star?
Potential squeeze
for Cousin Quilty.
Ha!
Maybe not...
Where were we?
New Mexico,
the land of enchantment.
Actually, Cousin Quilty,
we were here in your studio,
and we're still here,
I think.
I think I'm
in trouble.
Okay, but seriously.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
I was visiting New Mexico
when I had that first encounter
with a flying saucer.
Flying saucer,
fascinating.
Flying saucer!
You seem skeptical.
Skeptical?
Au contraire, moped.
I'm one of the few
living talk show hosts
who's actually been abducted.
I spent several weeks with
the little fellows.
They even took
a stab at impregnating me.
Fun, but fruitless.
You held your ground.
Among other things, yes.
Whatever do you mean?
I'll show you later.
Hey Mickey, where'd
they have you stashed?
Sluggo, get rid of
the geezer.
Relax,
lollipop, look at me.
Look into my eyes and everything
is gonna be just fine.
They're dreamy.
I know.
Now you sit tight, you keep
an eye on Sluggo's playmate.
I have a message for the people
and I'm in need of a medium.
Oh.
You'll always be
an extra large to me, Mickey.
Mick.
Mick, I've
been thinking.
We really ought to get
that suit of Johnny's
so's I could protect you.
Look up.
Huh?
Look up.
I hope I never forget
the way
the sky looks tonight.
This is gonna
sound crazy.
Crazier than
a Quaker in a whorehouse.
I look up there, I think
it's home.
Maybe just-
But Mick,
we need that suit.
How do you think
you came back?
From where?
But they told me that my spirit
animal was an armadillo.
Fascinating.
Yeah.
Are you brain damaged
or drunk?
We're on the air.
Where are we
working tomorrow?
Ooh, this is a
nice surprise.
Oh, no, no, don't tell me,
let me guess.
The Martians have landed.
Oh, it's better than that.
Better than Martians?
I have to tell you, folks, there
have been a lot of weird rumors
circulating
about this man.
Tabloids have been reporting
that he's dropped dead.
Or disappeared.
Or even worse.
But evidently,
nothing could keep him away
from Cousin Quilty's
show tonight.
Put your hands
together, ladies and gentlemen,
for one of the greatest
singers of all time,
The Man With
the Grin, Mickey O'Flynn!
There we go.
Hi!
Oh-
Mickey.
Looking-
You're looking good.
I'll give you
a Cousin Quilty welcome.
Thanks for
having me, Quilt.
Who's this lovely little
hummingbird?
I'm sorry, I should
have introduced you.
This is the lovely Robin Wray,
star of "Beatnik Buffalo".
"Beatnik Barbecue."
"Beatnik Barbecue."
Oh, if that's
an invitation to dinner,
you can count me in,
darling.
I don't eat meat.
Well, except in the movie,
of course.
There's been a lot of rumors
about what's been happening
with you lately, Mick.
That's why I'm here, Quilt.
I want to tell the whole world
that I'm alive.
I'm alive and
I feel magnificent.
Now that's
a coincidence.
Mickey?
And that
no-good Sluggo is with him.
Traitor!
It's not, like,
a rerun?
Hey, hey, shut up-
I wanna hear this.
So- so you weren't
abducted by aliens?
It was a carefully orchestrated
publicity stunt,
the brainchild of my
former employer, King Clayton.
That's it-
That does it.
I'm tearing up
his contract!
Well, I guess the proverbial
cat is out of the bag.
So get out of town
while you still can.
Oh, wow.
My face?
Are you okay?
My face is flopping off,
what the hell's going on?
Am I sick-
Am I sick?
No, no, no,
it's just-
Do I look sick? No, you look fine, Mick.
Well, heck.
There's just so many
beautiful things out there.
In fact, on the way
over tonight,
look what I found.
It was just lying there in the
road, unnoticed and unloved,
yet all the beauty
and mystery of life can be found
in that serpentine, sensual,
sinewy body.
Look at it.
It's exotic-
whoop-
It's deadly.
It's alive!
Yes.
It's the booze,
Daddy-o.
Mickey, who is
this dapper young man
you've brought along
with you?
A friendly friend?
Ah Quilt, he's more
than that.
Sluggo is my son.
Fine looking young man.
I didn't exactly germinate
his mom's hooha
or anything like that,
but Sluggo is my son.
That rotten dirtbag.
And to think,
I love them both.
Adopted?
Yeah, damn straight,
100% bona fide adoptee.
The son I always wanted.
Don't touch
that dial.
We're coming
right back!
I'd like say a word
about Chesterfields.
Where's that studio?
We have to
save Bliss.
What's Bliss got to
do with this?
I said, what's
Bliss got-
Johnny, Johnny...
They got Bliss.
Sluggo abducted her.
Double whammy!
What?
Well, what are we doing waiting
around her- Let's scramble!
Unlikely they'd
still be there, chief.
The Quilty show is on
a one-hour delay.
Hello, The Cave, the utmost in
underground entertainment,
how can I-
Oh.
Sorry.
Yeah, sweetie,
he's right here.
Johnny, it's for you.
It's Mickey's son.
Speak, dead man.
Bring
the suit, punk.
That is, if you want to see
your little Miss Muffet
all in one piece.
What makes you think
I care?
A juggler has balls,
doesn't he?
Don't make
me laugh, pretty boy.
She's got yours
and tight.
Mickey, I don't think
I like your son-
He scares me.
Now, now, he just wants
to do what's right for us.
He's got a big heart beneath
all that blubber.
The suit-
Damnation's Hole, two hours!
All right, you really crossed
the line this time, Sluggo.
All right,
I'll be there.
But I'm warning you,
it's gonna get ugly.
Good, you'll know what it
feels like to be me.
He has mean nostrils,
have you noticed?
He's a good egg, he's
just a little hard-boiled.
Two hours!
Not like you Mickey.
You're boiled
to perfection.
Sunny side up.
Oh.
Don't get
all clingy now.
Mickey needs his space,
Mama.
You heard the man-
Give him some room, bitch!
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
I think she gets
your point.
She's not that bad,
she's just a tad pushy.
You and Bliss I got
to tolerate,
at least until I get
that suit and I'm in charge.
But her, I don't got
to tolerate.
All I got to do to her is
kick her bony butt to the curb!
Here, get out!
Get out of the car!
Thanks for the wheels,
Earth slut!
Mickey!
Mickey!
I'll have 'em all
marching to the sound
of Sluggo's jukebox when
I get that suit,
a whole planet of zombies
here to do Sluggo's bidding!
I can't believe
I'm hearing this.
In this perfect world, why
would you want to-
Don't you
get it, old man?
You must have short circuited
a few wires
while you were in Hell.
As bad as I am,
you're even worse.
All right, let's finish this
thing, right here, right now.
We'll give 'em
the old cherry smash.
Let's rage!
Every bad deed we ever did
was because Johnny was
trying to imitate his old man.
You're the original
bad ass.
What we are,
you made us.
I'm just following
your example, pops.
I'm you!
No.
No.
No.
Johnny.
Soda.
Ole, Matador!
You almost got
yourself killed.
For your protection.
Gimme that- You cats
lay low, all right?
Stay out of my way.
Leave the suit!
Take the girl!
Now!
It's not Bliss!
Soda-
I warned you, man.
Tough break, kid.
Johnny!
Hey, I'm sorry
about this.
Oh, how I've
been waiting for this moment!
I got you, you cocky, cool
bastard! Traitor!
With this suit, I'll be the
Ghastliest One in the universe!
Ghastly indeed!
And for being such
a good sport,
we're sending you
and your crooning corpse-dad
on an all-expenses-paid
one-way trip to Hades,
where you'll enjoy a warm,
make that hot, family reunion,
courtesy of Sluggo!
Who's grinning now,
Mickey?
I don't know what
came over me.
We see you, Johnny.
We're coming.
Forget about me...
Save Bliss!
I died, son.
Hang in there, buddy!
Where'd you go?
Bliss!
Where are you?
You're a good boy.
You got
a good heart.
I want you to
follow it.
I want you to
find that girl.
And don't fail her
like I failed you.
I'm sorry, son.
I love you, Dad.
Oh, come on!
Sorry.
I never wanted
to go back home.
It's better to rule in Hell
than serve in Heaven.
I only did what the rest of
you didn't have the guts to do!
Get off me,
you banshee bitch!
No.
Come on!
Come on!
Let's go!
Come on, I'm
standing right here!
I'm standing here!
Come on!
Let's go!
Come on-
let's go!
Don't you know it's rude
to leave a girl hanging?
Today has been a
day of unexpected sacrifice.
A day of lost friends
and family.
Let's remember...
that there is no greater love
than to lay down one's life
for a friend.
And when great deeds are
remembered on this planet,
one name will stand
above all others.
Our friend,
the soda jerk,
Chip.
He may have come off
as square,
but he never once
turned his back on a fight.
He never gave up on what
he thought was right.
Beautiful.
So may Chip's memory,
bravery
and sacrifice
be forever seared
on our hearts.
He's killing me.
And may the spot
where Chip fell
be hallowed ground,
for here lies...
one of Earth's most
noblest creatures.
I wish my mother could
hear this.
Why you no good
four-flusher!
I should have
known you just fainted!
You missed me
by a mile, X.
Once a soda jerk,
always a soda...
Jerk!
Oh man.
Am I a
Ghastly One now?
Oh, you'll be a Ghastly One
all right,
after I get
my hands on you.
Uh-oh...
Who's the skirt?
That's our Queen Betty,
the leader of our people
and the essence
of our planet.
Right on.
Jonathan Xavier...
Come closer.
Oh, that's not good-
She's using his full name,
that is not good.
Johnny...
I have been
watching you.
We had an agreement which you
have broken more than once.
Come on...
Which is why
you are here.
Look, I'm trying my best
down here, you know?
I am deaf to
pleading and excuses.
Young lady...
No tears nor prayers shall
purchase out abuses.
Nice try, doll.
Johnny, your father understood
this and accepted the terms.
Now you must
do the same.
Before you pass final judgment,
let me offer something.
This doesn't belong to me
and I want to give it back.
Someday when you have proven
yourself unselfish,
mercies shall
be given to you.
The unselfish act.
We're going home!
Hey babe, next time
you're in town
and wanna see the best show
this side of Mars, look me up.
What?
Oh, what's wrong,
honey?
I wanted to
be a Ghastly One.
Relax, little buddy, there's
gonna be more gangs, more gigs.
More girls.
Yeah.
Young man,
where are you going?
No offense, Queenie, but it's
Squaresville back there, man.
Bliss and I decided,
my old man was right
and we're gonna make Earth
our new home,
for better or worse.
Let's fade, baby.
To black.
Undisciplined, irreverent...
Tasteless!
Just like your father.
Far out!
I don't know about you guys,
but I feel like celebrating.
What do you say we
hit the road to Vegas
for a little wedding party?
Chip could be
the best man.
Do you mean it?
Here we go
Baby we're on our way
Drivin' 'cross the desert
just to have some fun
Here we go
Baby we're on our way
Drivin' up to Vegas-
Gonna have some fun
Yeah Yeah we're
gonna shoot some craps
Yeah Yeah and
play roulette perhaps
Tearin' up the town
until we all collapse
'Cause firstly
and lastly
There ain't
no more Ghastly One
Hey.
Hey.
Can we
give you a ride?
That would
be wonderful.
Just completely
wonderful.
Don't forget to
buckle up.
My hero.
Here we go
Baby let's break
the rules
Bop shi waddy waddy
Bop shi waddy waddy
Here we go
Baby breakin' all
the rules
Bop shi waddy waddy
Bop shi waddy waddy
Hey where do I
know you from?
Medfield High School
You played the drum
You were on the football
cheerleading squad.
And you're the one
who everybody said was odd.
I was kinda shy
And had a lot of zits
I had the biggest
hair The biggest-
You would always
sit behind me on the bus
But now I'll sit beside
you as you come with us
But firstly
and lastly
Yeah firstly
and lastly
Yeah firstly
and lastly
Ah-Uh...
I still am
the ghastly one!
Oh Johnny
Oh Johnny
Johnny...
That has got to
be the stupidest kid on the planet.
He actually likes
it there.
Can you believe that?
He wants to stay.
Undisciplined, irreverent...
Tasteless!
As you leave the
theater, folks, please be careful.
Don't let this happen
to your car.
Be sure to remove
the speaker before you leave.
If you should accidentally
pull a speaker loose,
please turn it in at
our snack bar or box office.
Thank you.