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The Good, the Bad, and Huckleberry Hound (1988)
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The year was 1849, when a voice cried out from America's Wild West. Gold! Gold! Gold! 'I found gold!' And so, began the gold rush and the race to Californei. The horses have reached the starting gate. The flag is up. And they're off. The pioneers headed West to stake their claims. And among these prospectors, was a lone rebel a mysterious, steely-eyed and silent-type stranger. Oh my darlin' Oh my darlin' Oh my darlin' Clementine Eh, excuse me. Uh, pardon me. Yes? Uh, who are you? Well, I'm that mysterious, steely-eyed, silent-type stranger you was talkin' about. Namely, Huckleberry Hound. Heading West to pan for gold? Heck, no! I'm goin' to settle down on a quaint country farm and raise goats and pigs. And maybe a little ruckus on Saturday night. Heh-heh. And so as our hero journeyed West he ran into countless obstacles. Like treacherous mountain cliffs. Steaming and sizzling hot deserts. Mmm, this here steamin' and sizzlin' hot apple pie is mighty tasty. Not desserts, deserts. Shotguns, must've been one of them tricky type mirages. He battled the blazing western sun. I sure could use a sip of water right about now. The rampaging and racing rivers. Me and my big mouth. And the worst obstacle yet, the Californei freeways. But these natural hazards were a piece of cake compared to.. The Dalton Gang. Duh, I'm Dinky. I'm Pinky. I'm Finky. And I'm Stinky. We is the Dalton Gang. Oh, Dalton brothers, say "Cheese!" Cheese! Yes, the Dalton Gang. Wanted dead or un-alive. The crime spree of the Daltons became legendary. They'd rob anything from anyone anywhere, anytime and any place. Anyhow, the Daltons were the most despicable, low-down nasty, cheatin', thievin', rotten-to-the-core polecats. What was that, bigmouth? Uh, I-I said, uh, uh, the Daltons were just the nicest group of fellers you'd ever want to meet. And cute, too. Well, that's more like it. But the long arm of the law finally caught up with Stinky Dalton. Whoa! The Two Bit City court is now in session. 'The right honorable Judge Tumbleweed Flopner presiding.' Mr. Stinky, you've been charged with assault, train robbery cattle rustling and worst of all forgetting Mother's Day. Gee, I'm sorry. Now you must pay for your crimes. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury what is your verdict? Guilty guilty Mr. Stinky's guilty Mr. Stinky, I sentence you to 90 years in the state penitentiary. Make that, uh, 90 days in the county jail. Alright then, how about 90 minutes in your room with no television? No television? Forget it, pal. I'll take the 90 days. While Stinky pouted in jail, his brothers waited patiently in the peaceful little town of Two Bit Californei. Welcome, my friends, to Two Bit. Yours truly, Mayor Hokey Wolf at your service. Just one word of advice, folks. Steer clear of the Daltons. They'll steal the shirts right of your back. Not to mention your pants. And into this peaceful little town came our mysterious steely-eyed and silent-type stranger. Well, now, faithful horsie what have we here? 'This appears to be a perfect spot' to settle down and raise goats and pigs. Hmm, Two Bit Californei. But unfortunately, there seems to be a pickpocket on the loose. And so, plucky Huckleberry Hound began his quest to recover his faithful horse and fancy saddle. Not to mention, my spiffy western duds. Uh, excuse me, Mr. Mysterious, Steely-Eyed and Silent-Type Stranger sir. Perhaps, you can spare a lip-smackin' snack. Some left over left-overs. Or even a delicious dessert for a poor hungry woodland creature. Namely, me, Yogi bear who is stranded in this dusty, western town. What about me, Yogi? And maybe a tidbit or two for my pint-sized sidekick, Boo Boo. Sorry, fellas, I'm plum out of vittles. No vittles? What do we do, Boo Boo? I'm too young to diet. Gee, Yogi, maybe we should go back to Jellystone Park. Jellystone Park? I couldn't take it anymore. All the tourists there would say, "Look at the bears! Look at the bears! Look at the bears!" Shee! Relax, Yogi, there isn't a tourist within a hundred miles of here! Look at the bears! Look at the bears! Look at the bears! Look at the bears! Look at the bears! Look at the bears! Look at the bears! Ugh! I can't take it anymore. Now, that was sort of a bizarre interlude, wasn't it? Meanwhile, after a long day of being ornery no-good critters the Daltons pulled up at Rusty Nail Saloon. Dinky, tie up the horses. Duh, okay. Oh, so boys, how would you all like to hear Rusty Nails warble up a pretty little ditty? Ooh, hit it, Snagglepuss. I'd be delighted. Overjoyed. Underjoyed, even. Anything can happen at Rusty Nails Saloon Dinky Dalton Calipton ridin' on a broom Over a big ten gallon hat The other hat oh far He filled it full up to the brim Some dripped on the floor The broom got mad wheeled around With his one big hoof Gave that cowboy such a kick He went right through the roof already But cowboy went in orbit Clear up to the moon Yes anything can happen At Rusty Nails Saloon Yes anything can happen At Rusty Nails Saloon Anything can happen and it just about did - I'm Finky! - I'm Pinky! I'm Dinky. We is the Dalton Gang. Minus our big brother, Stinky, who's in the calaboose. And I'm Red Eye, the bartender. What's your poison, gents? Rattlesnake juice on the rocks. Duh, tarantula spritzer, please. I'll have a Shirley Temple. With two cherries. Uh, c-comin' right up, boys. Bottoms up, boys. gulp slurp boom Yeah! Just like ma used to make. gulp boom This is yummy! I want more! slurp boom Ooh. The bubbles tickle my nose. I'm not thirsty anymore, but now I'm bored. I wanna have some fun. Duh, yeah. How about some dancin'? Preferably, ballet. Oh, Snagglepuss, some dancin' for our honored guests. Watch closely as my feet never my legs. I said, ballet! Heavens to Murgatroyd! Everybody's a critic. Exit stage, outta here. In double-time even. While the Daltons were having their fun Huckleberry Hound arrived on the scene. Maybe I'll find them villains in this here saloon. Seems like a mighty friendly place. Shuckins! They even take your hat at the door. Oh, hello there, big boy. What can Rusty Nails do for you? My palate is a bit parched and I'd like a shot of root beer. But unfortunately all I got to pay for it with is this here gold nugget. Duh, look at the size of that guy's gold nugget. Eh, too bad he's such a rotten dresser. I want a gold nugget too. Well, I got a plan on how's we can get us that nugget. Duh, greetings, stranger. How's about a friendly game of poker? Sorry, friend, but I never gamble. Of course, there's always a first time. Cut the deck, Dinky. This'll be a one hand, a five card start. Winner take all. Includin' your gold nugget, stranger. Hmm, these boys look familiar. Of course, they does. Them is the armed critters who stole your faithful horsie and your fancy saddle. Not to mention, your spiffy western duds. That's right! Maybe I can win back what rightfully belongs to me in this here game of poker. Yeah, 'fraid not, stranger. I win with four aces. Ha ha. Not so fast. I got five aces. I win. Hold it, hold it. I win. I've got six aces. All I got is a pair of threesies. But I couldn't resist gettin' in on this comedy pie gag. And besides, I do believe you boys are cheatin'. Cheatin'? Nobody accuses the Daltons of cheatin'. And lives to tell about it. Duh, looks like we is gonna have us a fight. This mysterious steely-eyed and silent-type stranger biz is becoming a real pain. Ladies and gentlemen it's time for the main event. In this corner, weighing a combined 862 pounds 'the Dalton brothers!' And in this corner, weighing 78 pounds after a large meal with two desserts the steely-eyed and silent-type stranger. He forgot the part about me being mysterious. Oh, the prizes for tonight's victor include a faithful horsie and a fancy saddle. Oh, not to mention some spiffy western duds. Huh! That there is my stuff. Let the massacree begin! You folks out there that are a mite squeamish had best hide your eyes. This could get ugly. bam As the battle between Huck and the Daltons raged on the townsfolk were on the edge of their seats with excitement. I just love watching fights from a ring-side seat. And, so night fell on the peaceful little town of Two Bit. The fight's finally ended, two minutes into round 705. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten! The winner Huckleberry Hound. I couldn't have done it without the help of my little old good luck charm, Betsy. Meet Betsy. We lost! I hate losing. Well, I got back my faithful horsie and fancy saddle. Not to mention, my spiffy western duds. Now, it's high time I deposited this here gold nugget in the bank. Hee-yah! In the bank, huh? Yeah, if there's anything we like better than fightin', it's robbing banks. We'll teach him that nobody messes with the Daltons. Especially if that nobody is a rotten dresser. So Huckleberry Hound headed across town to deposit his gold nugget in the Two Bit National Bank. Here, it's business as usual for.. Bank president, Quick Draw McGraw. And his faithful sideskicks, Baba Looey. Well, Baba boy, our spankin' brand new fangled burglar alarm system is ready for a dry run trial test. I don't think it's going to work, Quicks Draw. Now, hold on there, Baba Looeys. I'll do the thinnin' around here and don't you forget it. That Quicks Draw, what a hambone. Now, you play the bad guy type villain, Baba Looey. You know, I double dog dare ya to rob this bank. Whatever you say, Quicks Draw. Stick 'em up. Now, watch careful, Ike as I cleverly pull this here lever thus activating the burglar type alarm system. bam This thing must weigh a ton. And it's a squinch out of tune to boot. I think there are still some bugs in the system. And some in Quicks Draw's head too. Oh my darlin' Oh my darlin' Oh my darlin' Clementine Howdy y'all. Howdy, mysterious, steely-eyed and silent-type stranger. What can we do you for, today? I've come to deposit this here gold nugget. Congratulations! In our ten years of service You're our very first customer. Which entitles you to receive one of these complimentary gift-type presents. First, a brand new fountain pen. complete with ink. Hmm, blue. My favorite color. Or you might choose this lovely calendar picturising the Grand Tetons. Whoops, this here is my calendar. Or this wonderful toaster. The greatest invention since sliced bread. Hmm, pumpernickel. My favorite. Or instead, you could choose this 'brand new Conestoga wagon.' And last but not least, you and a guest could travel in first-class comfort on a cruise around the world. with Captain Peter Potamus. Tahiti, here we come. Well, stranger, which selection do you select? Take the car! Hmm, it's a tough choice. But pretty much got my heart set on that there pen. Just wanted to make sure it still works. Rest assured, your gold nugget is safe and sound with us. bang - Stick em' up! - Yeah, this is a bank heist. That is, unless we have a bank heist. Duh, give us all your gold! Never! The gold is safely locked away inside this here safe. To which, I shall never divulge the combonation. Thirty-four to the left, six to the right twenty-seven to the left. Psst, Baba Looey.. activate the new fangled burglar alarm type system. And pronto. You're the boss, Quicks Draw. Ha-ha-ha. Now, you Daltons are about to learn that crime does not.. Anybody have aspirin? Gee, sorry about that, Mr. Mysterious, Steely-Eyed and Silent-type Stranger sir. No problem. At least they didn't steal my free complimentary-type pen. That's what you think. Nyah nyah. Oh, now I'm really mad. Duh, we better get outta here. Yeah, I don't wanna get caught. Yeah, besides, it's time for my bubble bath. Yee-haw! Them fellers won't be laughin' once I report this to the local authorities. Excuse me,Senor Mysterious, you mean the sheriff? That's right. Would you fellers mind takin' me to see him? Whatever you say. Well, there's the sheriff. 'Course, he ain't much in a chattin' mood. The Daltons took care of that. You could say he's been buried in his work. Baba Looey, your sense of humor is for the buzzards. Well, somebody's gotta bring them Daltons to justice. And I'm just the mysterious, steely-eyed and silent-type stranger to do it. Meanwhile, in the county jail, Stinky was planning an escape that would go un-noticed. boom Perfect! No one will ever know I broke out. 'We interrupt our program to bring you this special report.' Stinky Dolton has just escaped from jail. Roving reporter, Magilla Gorilla is on the scene 'with his live report. Magilla?' And now, jail guard, Mr. Peebles, will tell us exactly what happened. Mr. Peebles? You don't say. You don't say! He don't say! You heard it here first, folks. A complete and detailed report on the Stinky Dalton breakout. Thank you, Magilla. A word of warning to all you Two Bit citizens. Stinky Dolton is armed and dangerous. He's also a low-down, no-good, ugly polecat. Oh-h, though he does have his good points. That's better. And, so ends our special report. You forgot one thing, news boy. What was that? I'll be heading to Two Bit to do some real damage. Right after these important messages, so stay tuned. Without realizing that their brother Stinky had escaped from jail the Daltons discussed their next devious plan in their secret hideout. Duh, what do you say we blast the saloon? No, I say we blast the railroad station. What do you say, Pinky? I say we change this wallpaper. It clashes with the curtains. But first, we gotta get rid of that Yuckleberry Hound. Duh, he's a real troublemaker. Not only that, he's a rotten dresser. Duh, our big brother Stinky would know what to do with Huckleberry. 'Too bad he's locked up in jail.' But I escaped and I'll be join' up with you boys in no time. At the Two Bit City Hall, the weekly town meeting was just getting started. What about those Daltons? Alright, you goofballs, quiet down, will ya? Order! Order! I-I'll take a ham and cheese, if you please. Hold the mayo, Mr. Mayor. Make mine a tuna melt, Red Eye. And hop to it, hurry up. Go, go, go. Sure thing, Mayor Hokey. Now, about those Daltons. Mayor Hokey! Mayor Hokey! While I was gettin' the sandwiches this important message come in at the telegraph office. What's it say? It says, "Beep beep beep dot dot dot dot dot beep beep beep." Oh, boy, everybody is a comedian. Red, you knucklehead, read it in English. Okie dokie, Mayor Hokey. "Stinky Dolton has done busted out of jail. 'And he's arrivin' here tomorrow on the noon train."' Oh, this is awful, this is terrible. You're tellin' me? My sandwich is drippin' with mayo. It also says that Stinky is gonna go gunnin' for the sheriff. Then what's the problem? Two Bit doesn't have a sheriff. And if there's no sheriff, he's gonna go gunnin' for the mayor. Now we have a problem. I hope you find a sheriff. But where will we ever find anybody that stupid? Hi, y'all! Bingo! I just stopped by to tell y'all I'm plum fed-up of them Daltons. You said a mouthful. And to solve all our problems I, Mayor Hokey, nominate you, Huckleberry Hound, for sheriff. But I don't wanna be sheriff. I just want a quaint country farm where I can raise goats and pigs. 'Nonsense, nonsense!' All those in favor, say "Aye." Aye! All those who oppose, say "Nay." Neigh! It is now my pleasure to pin this badge on the new sheriff of Two Bit. Sheriff Huckleberry, would you care to make a statement? Yes, always wear a shirt when somebody pins a badge on your chest. Huckleberry Hound's first job as sheriff was to clean up the town. I don't do windows. Meanwhile, the Dalton Brothers continued their crime spree. Horse stealing. Holding up stagecoaches. Stick 'em up! Robbing trains. Duh, I always wanted my own choo-choo. Woo-woo. And worst of all, littering. Litterbugs? Now, they've gone too far. Ah, this candy bar is delicious. Ew, mine's got coconut. I hate coconut! I'm allergic to chocolate. It's murder on my complexion. But I just can't resist. I'm puttin' you in jail for contributin' to the untidiness of Two Bit. Sheriff, no one's ever put us in jail. And lived to tell about it. Don't force me to get tough. Just come along peaceful like, please. Duh, toodle-oo, sheriff. Uh, roger, Mission Control. All systems are go. Three, two, one, ignition. We have lift-off. Perhaps I should've said "Purty-please." I guess we took care of that icky Huckleburger Hound. 'He won't be bothering us no more.' That's what they think. I'll outfox 'em with my fancy ropin'. Huh? Here's my brain power versus their muscle power. And the brains win out every time. boom Make that almost every time. Daltons, give up. I got you covered with this here cannon. And we got you covered with our cannon, sheriff. And I got your cannon re-covered with my cannon. We see your cannon and raise you a bigger cannon. This little baby ought to put an end to it, once and for all. Surrender or I'll be forced to use heavy artillery. What is your answer? boom I take that to mean "No?" crash That Sheriff Knuckleberry will never take us Daltons to jail. Duh, ho-ho-ho! He's right, you know. So instead, I brung the jail to them Daltons. So, thanks to the bravery of Sheriff Huck three of the Daltons were behind bars. But the fourth Dalton, Stinky was on his way to Two Bit. You got that right, Mr. Narrator. And I got me a bullet with the sheriff's name on it. Meanwhile, in Two Bit, the townsfolk threw a party for their new hero, Huckleberry Hound. For he's a jolly good sheriff For he's a jolly good sheriff For he's a jolly good sheriff Who Stinky is going to smash Who Stinky is going to smash Hey Who Stinky is going to smash Hey For he's a jolly good sheriff Who Stinky is gonna smash Of course, my friends here might beat Stinky to the punch. crash Punch bowl, that is. Before the final showdown we have some lovely parting gifts for the soon-to-be departed sheriff. First, this lovely redwood box with padded-silk ling. Ooh! Ahh! Mm, mighty comfortable. Plenty of headroom, too. And from the Two Bit's National Bank this lovely, personalized headstone. Oops! I am touched.. bam ...in more ways than one. Ouch. And now, the man of the hour, who has only a few hours left.. Huckleberry Hound. Speak! Speak! First off, I'd like to personally thank each and every one of you for all these lovely gifts. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 'Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.' Thank you. Thank you. And in conclusion, thank you. And listen, y'all. Remember, evil shall prevail in Two Bit unless we all stand together. Therefore, all you folks who'd like to help me fight Mr. Stinky Dalton, please step forward. Well, what do you know? Looks like there'll be a few less people on my Christmas card list this year. With noon fast approaching time was running out for Sheriff Huck. Hmm, 11:30. I'll give them townsfolks one last chance to join my cause. I'll start by askin' my closest and bestest pal in the whole wide world, Yogi Bear. I've never seen this guy before in my life. But, Yogi, I need a few good men. That leaves us bears out. I'd rather lunch than take a punch. That goes ditto for me. Hmm, looks like I'm in the market for a new closest and bestest pal in the whole wide world. Hokey, I hope you'll be standin' by me in my hour of need. Don't worry your pretty little head, Huck. I've got you covered, completely protected. - I knew I could count on you. - That's right. I've signed you up for a million dollar life insurance policy. With yours truly, Hokey Wolf, as sole beneficiary. Sign here, please. I'd sign it too exceptin' that them Daltons stole my free complimentary-type pen. No problem, I'll sign it for you. I mean, what are friends for? I'm beginnin' to wonder that myself. Well, I know I can depend on Snagglepuss. Anybody here seen Snagglepuss? pew Hi there, tall, dark and blue. New in town? Is it just me or do all women out West appear to a mite ugly. Flattery will get you everywhere. Ooch! Beggin' your pardon, ma'am. But have a seen a mangy, flea-bitten floor rug named Snagglepuss? You're no Robert Redford yourself, buster. Oh, that Snagglepuss. He's about to leave town. Exit, to the powder room to take a powder. Stage right. I'm no Einstein, but I do believe that was the Snagglepuss to whom I was referrin'. Last on my list are Quick Draw and Baba Looey. I hope they don't let me down. Can I count on you two fellers to be me deputies? Wo would love to help you, Senor Huckleberries. But, unfortunate like we both just opened spankin' new accounts. And for our complimentary gifts, we have chosen the free trip around the world. Tahiti-i, here we comes. Aloha! But them folks don't realize is that you can't run away from your problem. All alone, Sheriff Huck returned to his office to await the arrival of Stinky Dalton. 'Time's runnin' out, Huckleboobie.' Our brother's comin' in on the noon train. Duh, yeah! And he's gonna turn you into Swiss cheese. cuckoo cuckoo cuckoo Phew! That's a relief. For a minute there, I thought that noon train was gonna be late. No wonder they call this place Two Bit. What ta-ta? Out of my way, lady. I'm Stinky Dalton. And I'm gonna eliminate me a sheriff. As Stinky stepped off the noon train he had only one thought in mind. It's over for Huckleberry Hound. Huh? Sorry, Stinky, but there's no fire arms allowed here in Two Bit. These six shooters are dangerous. So don't forget, kids, never play with guns. Someone could get hurt. Now, Mr. Stinky.. I want you to write one hundred times "I will never play with guns." 'I will never play with guns.' 'I will never play with guns.' I will never play with guns. But he didn't say nothin' about playin' with TNT. I'm gonna blow Two Bit into itty-bitty bits. Well, I guess that taught Stinky Dalton a lesson. I wonder who that could be. 'Oh, flower delivery.' A peace offering for Sheriff Huck from Stinky Dalton. It appears Mr. Stinky has turned over a new leaf. Thank you, kindly. Excuse me, Mr. Flower Delivery Man, sir I seem to be.. A-a-choo! Allergic to these here flowers. But thanks anyway. clatter clatter clatter screech plop Phew! boom You know, if my free complimentary-type pen hadn't been stolen, I'd write Mr. Stinky a thank you note. Once more, I wonder who is that tat-tattin' on my door. 'A singing telegram for Sheriff Huck.' Happy birthday Sheriff Huck Wishing you lots and lots of luck With love from Stinky Dalton I'm all choked up. Specially, since it ain't even my birthday. slam thud Excuse me, Mr. Deliver Boy but I have to return this cake 'cause my name is misspelt. slam slam boom Dear, Mr. Stinky.. Here's a note to thank you for the purty presents. Please forgive my writing in crayon but my free complimentary-type pen was stolen by your brothers. 'Ho, ho, ho!' I do believe that sounds like Santi Claus. Ho, ho, ho. 'Merry Christmas, Huck.' Hmm. July. Have you noticed how Christmas just gets earlier every year? You've been such a good, little, mysterious steely-eyed and silent-type stranger that I brung ya an extra special present. So long, ma boy. Ho, ho, ho! You know, Santi's awful sweet. Also, however there are many less fortunate children more deserving of this present than I. - Oh, Santi! - 'What do you want?' Please give this gift to someone more needy. boom Looks like I'm gonna need help puttin' that pain-in-the-neck sheriff out of commission. Oh, I know. I'll break my brothers out of jail. Then all of us will stop that hound dog's blue hide. Ah, but first, I better figure out a way to land without gettin'.. ...plastered, duh! 'I hate this place.' What we need is a shovel to dig us out of here. Duh, what we need is some dynamite to blow us outta here. What we need is a maid. This place is a mess. Stop your belly achin', boys. You has to pay your debt to society. Once we get outta here, we'll pay you with a lump on the head, Hucklepoo. That's Sheriff Hucklepoo to you. This place is becomin' a regular knock-knock joke. I'm Grandma Dalton. And I came to visit with my sweet little grandsons. Why, who could say no to such a petite young thing as yourself? Come right in. Look, fellas, it's Stinky. Uh-uh, I mean.. our sweet, dear grandma. I baked a nice angel's fruit cake for you little devils. Just a second, granny. I better inspect out their tasty treat. Just in case, you by chance, baked a file into it. Oh, sheriff, how could you think such a thing? You can't be too careful around desperate criminals, ma'am. chomp chomp chomp With Sheriff Huck on the job nobody's gonna pull a fast one. chomp chomp chomp Well, there's no file in this here cake. Oh, I must be on my way, boys. Ta-ta! Bye-bye, grandma. Hold it. Hold it! You can't get away with this, Daltons. Uh, get away with what, sheriff? Having your granny bring you a cake and not kissin' her goodbye. Well, that's, uh, quite alright, sheriff. No, I insist. Now, pucker up. Mwah Ah-ha, blech, blech. Kinda touchin', ain't it? Don't worry a bit, ma'am. Your grandsons will be outta jail in another 99 years. Or even sooner, sheriff. Uh, toodle-oo. What a nice, old lady. Too bad she's got such rotten granny sons. If them there holes are any indication them rotten granny sons has just escaped. Oh, sheriff! I got one last present for ya. Five hundred head of cattle with free delivery. rumble rumble rumble This calls for some fast thinkin'. rumble rumble rumble Nyah nyah! I guess we showed Sheriff Yuckle Huckle who's boss. Duh, we squished him like an itty-bitty beetle bug. That's what he gets for being such a rotten dresser. And look, Stinky.. We still got Skunkleberry's gold nugget. Uh, not to mention, his free complimentary-type pen. With that pesky sheriff out of the way we'll win the West. Hee-haw! Little do the Daltons realize that while them cattle was tramplin' my office I ducked down into the rumpus room for a quick game of pool. But now, it's time to catch up with them outlaws. And to assist me, I will need my faithful horsie. Oh, faithful horsie. I will chase them Daltons to the end of the earth. And not rest until they are brung to justice. Even if it means being a tad late for supper tonight. By the time we're finished we'll own the entire US of A. Well, bust my bridges. I can't believe it. It's that mysterious, steely-eyed et cetera, et cetera. There's nothing like an exciting chase to keep you on the edge of your saddle. Oh, I hate him. He gives the chilly-willies. That blue hound dog's nothin' but trouble. Let's lose him. Hee-haw! vroom Whoa! Not that fast! That's better. That ought to do it. He'll never catch up with us now. Excuse me, but you boys are going a squinch over the speed limit and I'm gonna have to give y'all a ticket. Well, boys, we won't be seeing that pesky sheriff no more. Tickets, tickets please. You fellas got tickets to ride this here train? What? splash Well, boys, he'll never find us down here. You wanna bet on that? What? This here chase just gets more exciting by the minute. - Uh, where in the heck are we? - Who cares? Just so's we gave that no-good sheriff the slip, once andfor all. So nice of you to drop in. Phew! What a relief. For a second there, we thought you was gonna be that pesky sheriff. Fooled you, didn't I? Hold it! What are we afraid of? There's four of us and just one of him. We've got him outnumbered. Yeah! You know, I was hoping they'd never figure that one out. 'Let's get him!' Looks like I am gonna be a tad late for supper, after all. Prepare for launch! You know, this here rocket ride could postpone my buying that goat and pig farm. Start the countdown! Duh, ten, nine, eight.. Perhaps my faithful horsie, can come to the rescue. '...seven, eleven, twenty-nine..' Duh, what comes after 29? - Six. - Oh, yeah. Six, five, twelve.. '...four, ninety-nine, six, eleven..' '...three, two, one.' Blast off! Yeah. That mysterious steely-eyed and silent-type stranger won't be bothering us no more. Looks like my faithful horsie is gonna be too late. boom 'So long, Huck!' For those of you just joining us our story began in 1849 with a cry.. Gold! ...and everybody headed West. 'Out West, us outlaws was in charge.' I'm Finky. I'm Pinky. - I'm Dinky. - And I'm Stinky. We is the Golden Gang! But Stinky Dalton was arrested.. Ninety days. ...and thrown in jail. I was framed. Meanwhile, Finky, Dinky and Pinky went to.. Two Bit Californei. Mayor Hokey presiding. Not to mention freezing. Boob and I, we're in town to chow down. Well, everyone else was.. Having fun at Rusty Nail Saloon. Especially them Daltons. And in the town came.. A mysterious, steely-eyed and silent-type stranger. I'm gonna cash in this here gold nugget buy me a quaint country farm and raise goats and pigs. But Finky won the gold nugget fair and square in a game of Crazy Ace. 'I've got six aces.' But Huck accused the Daltons of.. - Cheatin'. - Cheatin'? A fight ensued, with Huck declared the winner. Meet Betsy. Later, Huck deposited his nugget in the Two Bit National Bank. But we stole that nugget! Along with Huckleberry's free complimentary-type pen. Sound the alarm. "At that very moment, Stinky Dalton-- "Escaped from jail and headed toward Two Bit.. Where he's gonna go gunnin' for the mayor." Unless we have a sheriff. Hi, y'all. Howdy, sheriff? Huck started cleaning up the town.. I do not do windows. ...while the Daltons' crime spree took an ugly turn. Litterbugs. Now they've gone too far. Huck asked the Daltons to.. Give yourselves up. I'll take that to mean "No." But finally, that sheriff threw us into pokey. So us townsfolk celebrated the capture of the Daltons. For he's a jolly good sheriff Who Stinky is gonna smash And showered me with lovely parting gifts. thud Meanwhile.. I was heading to town to eliminate that sheriff. But I knew I could count on my dearest and closest friends for help. Then again, maybe not. Stinky arrived on the noon train.. To give that sheriff some bang-up presents. boom Duh, but then our big brother.. Helped us escape. After which we cattle trampled Huck's office. But I survived and I pursued them Daltons. But we bushwhacked that pesky sheriff. 'Took him to Cape Dalton' 'And blasted him in outer space.' 'We now continue' 'with the good, the bad' 'and the late, great' 'Huckleberry Hound!' With that pesky sheriff out of the way nobody's gonna stop our dastardly deeds. Like horse thieving. And stagecoach robbin'. Duh, and holdin' up trains. We're rich, rich, rich! Duh, the richest outlaws in all the West. And soon we'll be the richest outlaws in all the world! Gold gold gold Gold gold gold All we ever talk about is gold We wear it on our fingers on our arms And around our necks We're the richest outlaws in the world By half Gold gold gold Gold gold gold All we ever think about is gold Our teeth are gold our hair is gold We even cry gold tears We're so filled up full of gold They comin' out our ears Our swimming pool is full of gold We're rich just like I said But diving off that springboard is sure Hard on the head thud Gold gold gold Gold gold gold All we ever want more of is gold We know we are not needy And we do not think we're greedy But we want lots more gold Gold gold gold Gold gold gold We want lots more gold - 'First things first.' - Huh? It's high time we changed the name of this Two Bit Town. Duh, yeah, to Dinkyville. thud No! Pinkyville. No way! Finkyville. I say it's Stinkyville. But we compromised and changed the name to.. 'Daltonville!' Tahiti sure was a nice place for a vacation getaway. But be it ever so humble there's no place like home, sweet home. You bet. It's great to be back in good old.. ...Daltonville? What gives? It must be a misprint. This may qualify for an episode of "The Twilight Zone." 'Finky Dalton's Saloon?' 'Dinky Dalton's National Bank?' 'Pinky Dalton's barber shop and boutique?' 'Stinky Dalton's the mayor?' 'I demand a recount.' And he's the sheriff too. Looks like bad luck. I wonder what happened to Huck. We sent him to the moon. 'And you quitters are trespassin' on Dalton turf.' B-b-but this here is our town. No, it ain't, horse face. This is our town now. And we don't want you furry types around here no more. So, we're giving you a one-way ticket out of town. First class, I hope. That's a fine "How do you do." Kicked out of our own town. 'I guess we only have ourselves to blame.' 'How right you are.' Huck asked for our help to beat the Daltons but we turned him down. PoorSenor Huckleberries. Looks like we'll never see that mysterious, steely-eyed and silent-type stranger again. Where are you off to, Desert Flower? For a walk through the valley, father. I won't be long. W-where am I? Why, I-I must be in heaven. Why do you say that, mysterious bluehombre? 'Cause you are a beautiful angel. I am much obliged for your kindness Miss, uh, um.. They call me Desert Flower. Your name's almost as pretty as your face. And what is your name, mysterious blue hombre? My name? Why, uh, it's, um, uh.. Shuckins, I, I can't rember. Then I shall call you the Mysterious Blue Hombre.. ...with Amnesia. Well, I best be moseying along. No, you must rest. And I will tend to you until you are well. Oh, well, in that case I kinda hope I never get better. slurp clink splash splash That stranger has been here long enough. It's time he moved on. Oh, I think Desert Flower would disagree. What are you saying? 'Can't you see? They're in love.' But he's not...one of us. He is blue. Love has no color to Desert Flower. She sees not with her eyes, but with her heart. And I will not permit her heart to be broken. Desert Flower, there's somethin' heavy on my mind. What is it, Mysterious Blue Hombre With Amnesia? Well, uh, um.. ...it-it's kinda hard to put into words. But maybe this here song will explain how I feel. By the light Of the silvery moon I want to swoon Oh with my honey I'll croon love's tune Honey moon Keep on shinin' in June Ba-ba-ba boom Your silvery beams will bring love dreams We'll be cuddlin' soon By the silvery moon Your silvery beams will bring love dreams We'll be cuddlin' soon Ba-ba-ba boom By the silvery moon In other words, Desert Flower um, will you marry me? Oh, Mysterious Blue Hombre With Amnesia of course I will. That is, if my father will allow it. Absolutely not! You cannot marry this Blue Hombre. Why, you don't even know his name. He doesn't even know his name. On account of, I have amnesia, Mr. Chief, sir. Hah! But I love him, father and he loves me. Sure is shootin', Mr. Chief, sir. My answer is still no. Desert Flower, you cannot marry outside the tribe. Of course, if the Blue Hombre wanted to join the tribe.. No! I'll do it. Anything to win your daughter's hand. Very well then. Tomorrow morning we shall start the initiation test. Oh, this is awful. What's wrong, Desert Flower? No one has ever survived the initiation test. May be so, but there's got to be a first time. To join our tribe, the Blue Hombre must pass two tests. First, a test of intelligence. I knew, I should've done my homework. And second, a test of strength. I was the run at the litter but you got nothin' to worry about. Failure at either of these tests means a long walk off a short cliff. Now you can start worryin'. It's time for the Wild West's favorite quiz show. "Stump the Blue Hombre." And now, here's your host, Laughing Donkey. Hey, thank you. You're beautiful. I see we have some bunch of buffalo in the crowd. Let's give 'em a hand. Now, let's meet our three contestants. 'Educated Elk, Scientific Skunk' 'and the Blue Hombre.' Thank you, thank you. Our first question for one hundred points. 'What did Columbus say when he discovered America?' 'Blue Hombre?' Golly, I'm lost on this one. 'That's right, for one hundred points!' Hmm, lucky guess. Our next question. 'What did the pilgrims say when they tasted the turkey' 'at the first Thanksgiving?' 'Blue Hombre?' Hmm, that's tough. 'Correct, for another hundred points.' I don't believe it. Let's see him answer this! And now, our final bonus question for three hundred points. 'What did Benjamin Franklin say when he discovered a crack' 'in the Liberty Bell?' 'Blue Hombre?' You know, I do believe this here thingamajig is busted. 'Absolutely correct!' Which makes the Blue Hombre, our big winner! You might have survived this challenge but you shall fail the test of strength. And now, the second test. The Blue Hombre shall wrestle our fellow tribesman Chuckling Chipmunk. Sounds like a rat-friendly feller to me. I give you Chuckling Chipmunk. Let the match begin. Been nice knowin' you, Desert Flower. It's a pleasure to meet you, Chuckling Chipmunk. crash Apparently, the feelin' ain't mutual. Looks like I'm gonna have to use some strategy. Pretty clever of me, ain't it? clang clang clang He didn't hurt me a teensy bit. crash Well, maybe one teensy-weensy bit. Ain't that cute? Little old toy tow-truck. I might admit, that laugh of his is startin' to get on my nerves. Chuckling Chipmunk, I must warn you that I am an expert at hand-to-hand.. clang ...combat. I win. And you lose, Blue Hombre which means you're finished. Oh, no. Help! Desert Flower! Help! Help! - Daughter! - My baby! Don't worry, folks, I'll save her. whee splash Help! H-help! 'Help! Help!' vroom Help! Help! 'Help! Help!' Anytime you need a hand, Desert Flower, just holler. Although, you failed the initiation test you have proven your love for my daughter. It goes with the territory of being a mysterious Blue Hombre, Mr. Chief, sir. Just call me dad. Uh-uh, uh, you mean.. That's right, son, you have my present to marry Desert Flower. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to join 'Desert Flower and the Blue Hombre in holy matrimony.' If anyone has any reason that these two should not be wed speak now or forever hold your peace. Stop the weddin'! Huh? At last, I found you. I've been searchin' everywhere for you, Huck. Huck? Who's Huck? Why, you're Huck. Huckleberry Hound. Don't you remember? Shazaam, he's right, that's me. It's all coming back now. And you're my faithful horsie. Exactly. But I didn't know you could talk. How come you never said nothin' before? Everything's been okay uptill now. But the Daltons have taken over Two Bit. The Daltons? Why, them's the outlaws that stole my free complimentary-type pen. It's time I taught those boys a lesson. But, Blue Hombre, what about our wedding? Desert Flower, I have some unfinished business to attend to will you wait for me? Why, as long as it takes, my Blue Hombre. Mush. Hi-ho, faithful horsie, away. Huck, could you please stop callin' me "Faithful horsie?" -'Why is that?' - Because my name is Bob. Huck, you're gonna need some help to stop them Daltons. Too bad my pals in Two Bit are too chicken to pitch in. You're pals ain't in Two Bit no more. The Daltons booted 'em out. Where'd they go to, faithful horsie? Uh-uh, I mean, Bob. It's a sad story, I'm afraid. 'They really hit the skins.' Step right up, ladies and gents, for Hokey's Wild West Circus. The greatest show to ever hit town. I just hope the town doesn't hit back. Poor Hokey seems down on his luck. Quick Draw and Baba Looey aren't much better. Giddy up, you dumb horse. Yeah, move it, you dopey donkey. Wooh, my achin' sacroiliac. Si, Quick Draw, I only wish these children would thin down. Now, hold on there. I'll do the thinnin' around here, Baba Looey and don't you forget it. Sort of pathetic, ain't it? Well, wait till you check out the center ring. How demoralizing! An audience of one? And my luck, the kid's get a great arm. Exit, with egg on my face, stage left. This is downright depressing. Shee, they really work us at this circus. I don't know how it could be worser. Look at the bears, look at the bears. Now I know. We better get out of here, Yogi. I'm with you, Boo Boo, let's skidoo. Your pals have hit rock bottom. You're right, Bob but maybe I can show them how to dig their selves out. 'How much cash money type profit did we make today, Hokey?' Profit? Are you kidding? Our dissatisfied customers demanded double their money back. None of this would've happened if we'd stayed in Two Bit. And thought them no-good ornery Daltons a lesson. Hello, what's this? A letter, a mail delivery, no less. "To whomsoever it may concern. "Miss your hometown of Two Bit? Want to win it back? "Come on, come all to a once-in- a-lifetime secret-type meeting. "Midnight tonight. "At Last Chance Ravine. Act now, uh, don't delay. Signed, the Blue Hombre." And who pray tell is the Blue Hombre, anyhoo? I have nary an idea but I vote we go for this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I'm with you, Quick Draw. That Blue Hombre sure picked a creepy place to hold a meeting. I just wish he'd show his face so we could get out of this place. Heavens of hallucinations! What was that? Look, Quick Draw. 'It's the ghost of Huckleberry Hound.' Leave us exit, stage out of here. Hold on, folks, Huckleberry Hound is no ghost. I am alive and well. Then what's with the spooky get-up? I just wanted to see if I could fool you. It's all part of my plan to teach them Daltons a lesson. 'Once before, I asked you for help and you left me dyin'.' I'm gonna ask you one more time. Do it for yourselves, do it for your friends, do it for Two Bit. But how do we infiltrate Daltonville? With a little help from some old pals Rusty Nails and Red Eye. And Huck's faithful horsie, Bob. Well, boys, what do you say? - We say, all for one.. - One for all.. 'And everybody for Two Bit.' 'Hurray!' Stinky Dalton is a guy who can't be beat He's stinkier than anyone you meet Don't come in to his casino He's a low-down no-good meano Stinky Dalton is a dirty rotten sheep That's my favorite tune.. poof ...and that's my favorite drink. Why, I'm the meanest, rotten-est dude in all the West. Oh,contre, Mr. Stink there's one dude who's even meaner and rotten-er than you. But that can't be. I'm afraid so, boss. Just take a look at this here movie clip and see for yourself. 'Hit the lights, Rusty.' 'He came from out of the past.' boom 'His goal, to punish the law breakers for their evil deeds.' 'Those who are guilty, beware!' 'You're about to meet the meanest, rotten-est dude' 'on the face of the earth.' 'And he is not alive.' 'He's the ghost of Huckleberry Hound.' It's that icky Yuckleberry. Duh, I thought we gave him a rocket ride to the moon. We did and now he's come back as a gh-gh-ghost. Pipe down, you guys, it's only a movie. Besides, there ain't no such things as ghosts. 'Yes, there is.' 'It's the ghost of Huckleberry Hound' 'and he's arriving in Daltonville' 'by tonight's midnight train.' But there ain't no midnight train. 'The midnight ghost train.' 'Be afraid. Be very afraid.' Going down the lines of wickedy-trickedy track A ghostly train was rolling on the little track A mysterious steely-eyed and silent-type Is coming back Boogie woogie Boogie woogie You thought he died Boogie woogie Boogie woogie No place to hide Boogie woogie Boogie woogie He's coming to catch you Boogie woogie Boogie woogie Boogie woogie Boogie woogie Ooh A spirit has risen up from the ground No way to stop him he's Two Bit bound The creepy crawler icky-yackey hak hak hak Huckleberry Hound Boogie woogie Boogie woogie You thought he died Boogie woogie Boogie woogie No place to hide Boogie woogie Boogie woogie He's coming to catch you Boogie woogie Boogie woogie Boogie woogie Boogie woogie Ooh Boogie woogie Boogie woogie Ooh Well, crew, according to the time table the Daltons should be seein' our spooky movie right about now. I just hope the ghost-train routine gives 'em the creepy crawlies. We'll find out soon enough. Here comes our choo-choo, now. All aboard for Daltonville. 'Hurray!' You alright, Huck? Sure thing, Bob. Just thinkin' about somebody special. Be patient, father, he said he'd come back. I'll give him another half-hour, and that's it. Uh, 11:59. One more minute till the gh-gh-ghost train arrives. And that means the end of the D-Daltons. Uh, no, it don't. 'Cause, I'm gonna blow up that Huckleberry's ghost. Uh, but, y-you can't blow the ghost. 'Cause they're already dead. It's midnight. 'There, the ghost train, i-it's coming.' Please, Stinky, let's leave town while we still can. Please, please, please, please, please. Ah, quit your bawlin', you cry babies. You just leave the ghost of Huckleberry Hound to me. Ho-owdy, Daltons? It's him! It's, it's, it's-- The ghost of Huckleberry Ho-ound. I don't believe in ghosts. B-b-but in your case, I, I'll make an exception. This smoke ought to give 'em a scare. Our apologies to Smokey the Bear. Hee-yay. These blinding light bulbs are a bright idea, Quick Draw. You said it, Baba Looey. Come on, you two, I want chills running up their spine. What do you want? I'm gonna haunt you for the rest of your lives. No, no, uh, anything but that. Well then, maybe we can make a deal. A deal? Wha-wha-whatever you want, just name it. Handover the gold nugget you Daltons stole from me. Here, Stinky, just give it to him. One g-gold nugget, Mr. G-Ghost, sir. Much obliged. So, everything's hunky-dory now, huh? I mean, w-we're even-steven, right? Not on your life, Stinky. I got one more demand. Anything, anything at all. You will pay your debt to society and go directly to jail. Jail? No ghost can make us Daltons go to jail. Maybe not. But we can. Let's get out of here! Run for your life! vroom Them Daltons can run, but they can't hide. You said it, Quick Draw. vroom Let's head to our secret hideout, boys. They'll never find us here. That's what he thinks. We've been had! In more ways than one. You see, I'm still alive. What? thud On behalf of the people of Californei I wanna thank you for finally capturing the Daltons. My pleasure, Mr. Governor but I couldn't have done it without the help of my friends. Excuse me, Mr. Huck, can I have your autograph? Why, sure, little feller. Oh, Daltons. What do you want now? My free complimentary-type pen, if you please? Duh, rat, he rembered. There you go, little feller. Now, do you know what the moral of this here story is? Always take that trip to Tahiti instead of the free pen? Well, that's true. But also, crime does not pay. splat Looks like our troubles are over, gang. Let's head on home to Two Bit. I'm afraid that's one trip I'm gonna have to miss. What do you mean,Senor Huck? Yeah, where're you goin'? I got me a weddin' to attend, my own. You fellers take care now. Giddy up, Bob. Your silvery beams will bring love dreams We'll be cuddlin' soon By the silvery moon Ba-ba-ba moon And so, after thwarting the dastardly Daltons our heroes went their separate ways. Snagglepuss set out for Broadway and became the toast of the town. Alas, poor Yogi, I knew him well. Quick Draw became the new sheriff of Two Bit with Baba Looey as his faithful deputy. Another peaceful-type day in the Old West. Mayor Hokey opened the first used covered-wagon dealership. Hiya, friends, Hokey Wolf here. And have I got a bargain for you! Along with Boo Boo, Yogi Bear returned to Jellystone Park where he'd go for picnic baskets and proved himself to be.. Smarter than the average bear. Look at the bears, look at the bears. Shee. As for Huck, he married Desert Flower. - I do. - I do. mwah And the two love birds settled down on a quaint country farm. Where they raised goats and pigs. And a family. And we all lived happily ever after. |
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