This was Dale,
the City of Golden Bells,
in the time middle-earth,
before men came to power
and ruined magic forever.
And this is the Arkenstone of old,
the white heart of the mountain,
the central treasure of all the vast
treasures of this golden realm.
Suddenly, it was all destroyed, by
the monster lizard Slag the Terrible.
Slag, the agent of evil on earth.
And he dragged off
the treasures of Dale,
even the Arkenstone itself.
Only three survived the flames.
A watchman who slept when
the dragon came creeping,
Thorin Oakenshield, general of
the now destroyed garrison of Dale,
and princess Mika Milovana,
who sadly watched the crumbling
ashes of her once golden realm.
"Gandalf!" whispered
general Oakenshield,
"Only the great wizard
Gandalf can help us now. "
Three ragged and weary survivors of
Dale, the burned City of Golden Bells,
came to the lonely tower
of Gandalf the Grey.
"So it has come to pass",
said the great wizard,
"that Dale has been
destroyed by Slag,
and that he nests on the treasure in the
carved halls on the Lonely Mountain,
just as it is written
in the great book.
Then it is clear that
the time has come,
the time of the hobbit.
Far away from all the troubles
of dragons and treasure...
...lived a certain hobbit.
Like all hobbits he lived
in a hole in the ground.
It was a very comfortable home,
full of everything needed
for a cozy secure life.
A far different sort of life
than that of his great great
great great grandhobbit.
This settled and satisfied
hobbit was named Bilbo Baggins
And he didn't know
that his time had come.
All at once they were there,
eating his food, shouting for more,
filling the air with
terrifying words
about dragons, fire,
stolen gold and death.
"I don't know who you are, I don't
know what you're all talking about!"
cried Bilbo Baggins.
"We are talking about you. "
said the wizard Gandalf.
"You are the chosen dragon killer.
You shall lead this group over the
impassable Barricade Mountains,
through the impenetrable
Mirkwood Forest,
across the poisonous desolation
of Slag, to Lonely Mountain itself,
wherein the horrid creature lies.
You must creep into the deepest great
chamber of the old jewel mines of Dale
and kill the fire-spitting
dragon Slag.
"A fascinating story. "
said the small hobbit,
"And now if you've all
finished your breakfast,
it's been a great pleasure
to meet you,
...and I wish you lots
of luck and all speed. "
"But it is written in the prophecies. "
said general Thorin Oakenshield,
"We cannot go without you. "
"Then don't go at all. " shouted
Bilbo, "Leave that old dragon be. "
The princess was furious
and impatient with all this talk.
"Mr. Baggins", she shouted,
"That dragon has killed my
father and all of my people.
He has burned to ashes
my golden land of Dale.
Now he sits on our treasures,
and waits his time
to strike other lands,
maybe even here.
If you are all afraid
then I shall go alone. "
Bilbo was shocked. He
shouted at Gandalf,
"But this is crazy,
she's only a child.
You can't let her face this
journey, that dragon alone!"
"Correct" the great Wizard agreed,
"I'm glad you see it
at last dear Bilbo,
you can start first
thing in the morning. "
And so they set out to
follow the ancient map,
leaving the comforts
of Hobbiton behind,
and carrying barely enough food for
the usual hobbit between meal snack,
the conscripted dragon slayer
and the three survivors of Dale
struggled accross
the Great Barricades.
Gandalf the Grey watched
from his own distance.
He knew well what terror waited
along this craggy path.
A crushed cabin burns a
stolen lamb to feed groans,
hungry brutes with
skin as thick as bark.
But people-meat is
their favourite food.
The legends say that groans must
be in their caves before sunrise,
or they'll surely turn into dry trees,
rooted to the ground forever.
There was a long night ahead.
And this puny lamb would
serve only as an appetizer.
as the unsuspecting travellers
approached.
The smell of roasting lamb was too
much for the starving hobbit.
But the others, being
bigger and even hungrier,
knocked him spinning
into a hollow log.
In no time at all the three
were tied to the roasting spit.
But the second groan was angry
that the first had burned the lamb,
and demanded that the new victims
should be boiled instead of roasted.
The first groan furiously knocked
the spit from the flames,
and shouted that the second should
be happy to have people flesh at all.
Now the hobbit saw that
he might save the others,
if he could just keep the putchish
groans fighting among themselves.
He was a good mimic,
and he hoped the hollow log
would amplify his small voice.
The second groan's lips didn't move,
but his voice seemed to shout,
"No stupid ape like you can
tell me how to eat my food. "
"Who are you calling stupid you
ugly knothead?" roared the first.
Soon the dull-witted groans
forgot all about their dinner,
and were busily trying
to kill one another.
They fought and cursed each
other through the night,
till the first rays of the
sun caught them by surprise.
Bilbo had tricked them and now they
would be rooted to the spot forever.
Two less groans and two
more knolled dead trees.
As they moved forward again
across the Great Barricades,
the survivors had a new opinion
of their small hobbit dragon slayer.
"Perhaps he might prove useful after
all. ", thought Thorin Oakenshield.
Then, suddenly, Bilbo was gone.
Down through a crevice,
with a soundless scream,
...as the others trudged on.
Down past the chewed rock tunnels
of the hateful grablins, who
kill and eat only for spite.
Down to the roots of the mountain.
Down, to where there
is none but... Gollum.
Unremembered years before, a weak
and rejected creature found...
what Gandalf the Grey still seeks:
The One Ring of Power.
He had crept into the inky
depths to hide it here,
on this black island where
the hobbit had now fallen.
And he had cringed with his
ring alone in the dark so long,
that he could speak only to
his miserable self: Gollum.
What horrid little nasty has come
to steal our ring, my preciouss,
we must squeeze it till it dies, yess,
we doesn't let it take
our dearest ring, gollum!
Bilbo did have the ring.
Magically the One Ring of Power
had found it's true bearer,
it was Bilbo Baggins the hobbit.
He felt the ring's power that it might
help him against the dragon Slag.
Bilbo made a mighty leap
on his broad hobbit feet,
clear to the shore, and darted up the
nearest tunnel as fast as he could go.
"Curse him and crush
him!", went Gollum,
"We must catch the tricksy thief
before it reaches the outside. "
And the wretched thing
waddled right past Bilbo,
who of course didn't
know the way out,
but who guessed that Gollum did.
And Gollum led him to the only
tunnel unknown to the evil grablins.
and directly into the
blessed sunlight.
So Bilbo was able to
rejoin his companions,
who had crossed the tops
of the mountains,
and they faced together the next
obstacle on their long journey,
Mirkwood Forest.
Entering Mirkwood was like
plunging into a sea of trees,
and being unable
to come up for air.
An eternal, endless forest, whose mists
were as poisonous as its vegetation.
The four travelers were
starved and exhausted,
but they pushed on,
compulsively determined
to bring themselves to the
most hideous danger of all:
Lonely Mountain, wherein
lay the killer dragon Slag.
There he lay, the vast,
red-gold dragon,
fast asleep in this immense hall that
once was the jewel mine of Dale.
Ironically Slag had dragged
these same jewels,
from the treasury of the
Golden City he destroyed,
back to the very place
of their origin.
As Bilbo looked out on this stupendous
scene of both beauty and ugliness,
his feelings too were a swirling
mixture of exhilaration and horror.
Then, out of the staggering panorama
of gems, he suddenly saw only one:
It was the Arkenstone,
the Arkenstone of Dale.
now the tiny hobbit knew exactly
how this lizard must die.
It was the bravest thing he had ever
done, certainly braver than anything
that comfort loving squire of Hobbiton
ever would have imagined he could do.
Perhaps it was only the
power the ring he wore.
Perhaps it was his growing
love for the princess Mika.
Or maybe it was only that he knew
that someone had to do it.
But he did it!
He climbed the diamond vest
of the slumbering dragon,
and he stole the Arkenstone.
Together with the others,
he fashioned
a powerful crossbow
from old mining tools.
And the Arkenstone,
the white heart of Dale,
was the arrow-head destined
for the black hart of Slag.
And so he did it,
just as Gandalf knew he would.
And the City of Golden
Bells was built again.
And Bilbo and Mika
reigned there together.
But finally they returned to that
quiet comfortable life in Hobbiton,
...until the next time Gandalf the Grey
would knock upon the round green door.