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The Houses October Built 2 (2017)
Man: Get out of the hole.
Get out of the hole now. On the ground. All the way on the ground. Where the hell did she go? Someone's gonna die tonight. Someone's gonna die tonight. Someone's gonna die tonight. Someone's gonna die tonight. Someone's gonna die tonight. Someone's gonna die tonight. Reporter: Halloween's taken a dramatic turn since the jaycees haunted houses of old. Every year, haunt owners attempt to go bigger and badder, in their words, more extreme. Well, enough is enough. As you remember, last Halloween, more than 24 million people watched the live feed of a young woman struggling for air inside a buried coffin. Thankfully, the police intervened, and the distraught victim was left on the side of the road. To this day, the case is still a mystery if it was, in fact, a holiday stunt or attempted murder. A roaming underground haunt known as the blue skeleton posted the video despite long-standing rumors their group was just an urban legend. We thought that haunting night was the end of this story, but these five thrill-seekers went back into the heart of darkness. What happened just this past hallows' Eve was far more violent and far more tragic than anyone could have imagined. A haunted-house road trip for these childhood friends came to a bloody conclusion that will, without a doubt, change the scare industry forever. Bobby: We have a shot if you don't screw it up. You don't say -- do not touch the word "extreme." No extreme haunts, -no buried alive. -Okay. -Don't even... -Obviously. ...utter the word "blue." I just think the word "haunted house" is going to make her not really want to talk to us. Or maybe you with the camera, also. Bobby: Say, "happy Halloween." Knock on the door. Surprise! No. Zack: Happy Halloween? Whatever it is, no. Bobby: We're back! We got a little idea. The game has changed. We just want to talk to you for just like five minutes. Come join the gang again. Yes? Brandy: So, I mean, i don't understand. Did they just, like, have you come out and speak about haunted houses? To go to their haunts, and then we do marketing things for them, and it's a big deal. They get to promote that coffin girl is at their haunted house. Bobby: Though they're not going to recognize you with that blond hair. That's not what the people paid for. Yeah. Well I didn't want to be associated with that anymore, so... Bobby: You have 24 million hits on YouTube. -Yay. -Your dad's not proud? Look, it's just not worth it. Bobby: Look, all they want to do is we go out there. We rate it. We go on social media. We say, "oh, thumbs-up. This was a great haunt." That's all we have to do. We roll through it. There's nothing extreme. They'll just be different kind of haunts than we've ever done before. Brandy: I just don't know why I have to go. Like, you guys can go. You can do it. -Nobody cares -- -I'm not stopping you guys. Bobby: Nobody cares about four guys. Like, they -- they saw you. They saw you in the coffin. You're coffin girl, whatever the fuck that means now. That's who they want at their haunt. I mean, I love you guys, but I can't. I can't do it. Bobby: Mikey's going. Jeff's going. -They already said they're in. -Great! They can all go! They want -- they want all of us. That doesn't mean that I want to go or I have to go. You don't have to go, but you should want to go. It's -- it's fun. It's doing it the right way this time. We're getting paid. We're the haunted-house aficionados now, and you're the celebrity draw, coffin girl. Okay, money or no money, it's not gonna change what happened the last time. Bobby: These are just different kinds of haunts. It's not any of the extreme shit, none of that. -That's what you say. -They're not even -- I ended up in the ground last time, guys. I'm not doing it. Bobby: We had no idea that was gonna happen. You know that. Okay, well, you have no idea what's gonna happen this time, either, so I'm not gonna do it. Bobby: We have to have you. I'm not doing it. Zack: Whatever. Bobby: Mikey. -Mike. -What up? Bobby: Dude, we got to rethink these first couple haunts without Brandy here. Um... World's most shocking attraction? -What do you want to see? -Titties. Adult content. Zack: Well, I'm gonna do you one better because you got laser titties. Mikey: All right, so, how do we get paid? Bobby: Show up, post pictures on social media just like I said. It's easy money. Mikey: Zack, what's the name of this one? Zack: Scream town, eight different attractions. That's kind of funny. Did you see that sign? Parking -- 20 bucks, and then in blood, it's written, "free." Mikey: Yeah. Welcome to scream town. Help me. Please help me! Bobby: There's Zack not missing a photo op. Man: You step back! Bobby: Tell him your phobia. Nah. See if they find it. -What is it, boy? -Nah. -Tell me. -Nope. Snakes. Go! Now! Get in there! Go in there! Man: Hey, look. She's been here. Zack: We found some places that cross the line. Is there anything like that out here? We come to that line and try to get there as closely as possible. I mean, we want people to be terrified when they leave here. When we hear people are sobbing, we like to hear that. Zack: Bobby, look at that sign. That is the guy from the haunted house last night. -These people -- -now I don't trust him. Zack: He's a magician. No wonder he's up to no good. Mikey: Dual roles? What the fuck? Bobby: That's amazing. Man: Paranoia quest. So we have here a few different scenarios available for solving. We have our zombie apocalypse where you have to find a cure from the zombies in order to save the rest of the world. Zack: All right. Is there anything else we should know before we go into this thing? Think about it this way. It's designed not to be so much scary as actually to make it exciting and different experience for you. -Put your hand on the thing. -Put his handprint. We need a number. Look, we need a code. Yeah, maybe you need hand and code. All right. The back of this is magnet, so it's stuck to -- it's stuck to metal somewhere. Oh, got it! Oh, it's the second half of that. Okay. Look, they're -- they're -- we need the first half of this one and the second half of this one. Look. Mike, what are you doing? Please. The battery is out. 14 is on the periodic table. One minute, then one minute, then three minutes, then two minutes, then two minutes. I'm pretty sure it's not the fibonacci sequence -to get out of here. -Sweet. This is the thing we had to get. This unlocks this, so now we need to use this. We can use it if we plug this into the battery thing that was out there. It's the only thing I see. Put the battery in! Yes, I'm doing it. I'm doing it! Female voice: Authentification failed. Bobby: Oh, they're gassing us. Female voice: Authentification failed. Bobby: Guess that means we lost. Female voice: Authentification failed. -Hey, guys! -Hey! Thank you. -That was a good time, man. -Hey, Zack. So how did you like our "escape the room" experience? That was cool. That was different. You promised us something original. -Cool. -And we got it. Well, listen, I have been around the world and to some crazy places, and I can tell you if you're looking for something extreme, something crazy, seek out hellbent. Seek out hellbent? Yeah, you're right. Seek out hellbent. Hellbent. Seek out hellbent. -All right. Will do. -All right, cool. -Appreciate it. -All right. Awesome. Bobby: All right. It was nice meeting you, man. -I appreciate it. -Absolutely. Bobby: Thanks for having us. Hey, by the way, when a Russian tells you to seek out something, you don't do it. When a Russian says he's been all around the world -and seen some crazy shit... -Yeah. ...you don't go where he says. Just as I do at all the haunts, picked up my t-shirt. Bobby: You can't get a t-shirt from here. You lost. We lost. We're fucking losers. I experienced it, though. Bobby: Not experience. You have to finish the haunt. You lost. Loser. Brains. Bobby: Yeah. -Not worthy of the shirt. -Nope. Bobby: So apparently they shut this place down, like, in the 1800s. For what? Bobby: For putting, like, animal parts and pieces of kids in their soap. Pretty fucked up if it's true. Just makes for a better haunted house. Say "uncle" loudly and clearly, uncle, and someone will come and take you back upstairs where it is warm and safe. Oh, look at this! Bring back memories, Mikey? Been in one of these before. Aah! Aaaah! "Twin peaks" mode. Nah, I'm good. -Wait. He -- he says that I'm to go, Bobby. -Go! What? All right. Eat her. He's coming. But your child is great for your mind. Get it out! --What the fuck? No. No. Stop that! Zack: What do you smell? What do you smell? Let's go. Come on. Zack: If you guys can't handle that, you have no shot in Minneapolis. What did you think of the soap factory? Dude, that's one of the best ones I've been into. It's a totally different feel. Well, I mean, literally feel because they can touch you. They're not, like, hurting you, but they're really, really creepy. Zack: Did they touch you in no-no places? No. Well, my beard is a no-no place, and a guy with, like, a doctor's leather glove was just slowly caressing my beard, and then he -- then he made me dance with him. We went to an art-gallery haunted house, and you didn't come. They put me in a box, Brandy. You wouldn't have liked that. I don't know why you guys can't say something like, "hey, let's go to a tropical island," or, "let's go to Europe." Instead, you want to go to Minnesota. I'm not doing it. Bobby: There he is, the man, the myth, the legend. So we've been here for two days. You've missed three haunts because you wanted to take a bus. Yeah, I'm a country boy! I've got to get my sights in, dude! -You got some making up to do. -I'm gonna make up for it. -I got a rap ready. -Oh, Jesus. So we're gonna learn about killer clowns this time around. -It's gonna be awesome. -So we're gonna -- -you're gonna rap for me? -No, I -- Bobby: We wrapped a gift for you. We have a present. Oh, you wrapped a gift. Okay. -You're gonna love it. -Play on words. -Yes. -You're serious? -You got me a gift? -I got you a gift. Thought you were just... Fucking around. -Right now for you. -All right. I mean, you did take the bus here. You deserve some kind of consolation prize. You're right. You're right. Thank you for that. Oh, wow! Halloween wrapping paper, huh? Can I open it? Zack: Nope. Just look at it. Jeff: All right. I'm gonna ravage this thing. Box cutter would have been nice. Bobby: You're complaining about your gift? I know. Holy shit. -Shut up. -Mm-hmm. Bobby: We're gonna take that through every haunt we go through. Oh, my god. This is so... Dude, I've been practicing at home with, like, a little mini one. -No, this is the real deal. -This is really -- no, thank you very much. This is awesome. I can't believe you guys did this. Bobby: All right. Charge it up and let's take it for a spin. Got it. Thank you. Okay. I'll let you know. All right. Thanks. I knew that would happen. They don't even want us to come if Brandy's not with us. Bobby: God damn it. Zack: They're paying double what the other places paid, and he basically canceled. Bobby: So he said, "no girl..." He said, "don't even bother coming if we don't have Brandy." Bobby: What did I tell you? Nobody gives a shit about four guys coming in. You know why they even called us in the first place is about her. She has got to come. I-I'll talk to her again tonight. Zack: It's a hayride. It's that easy. I will talk to her again. We've already expressed that she doesn't have to do extreme haunts, and these haunts, she doesn't to have to do it. It's just gonna be fun, easy shit. Mike's got to go back. He's got to go get the gopros anyway tomorrow morning. He goes back. If we can convince her, even get her close, he can go seal the deal and bring her back. Pays double, so... -Great. -It'll be fine. I've known her the longest. It's not gonna be that hard when I'm there. On the phone, it's tough, but, I mean, she'll come. -She knows that she has fun. -It's easy we get her here -- we get her here for one haunt, you know she's not gonna go home. Zack: Are other places just gonna do this? Yes, they do not want to see us. I told you that from the beginning. We get her here, we're good. Hey, brand. This is my last-ditch effort to get you out here. Zack's lined up all this stuff, and it's falling apart. He's just freaking out. He's bit off more than he can chew. And I know he needs the money. We just need your help. He lined up a doctor for you to set your mind at ease. She specializes in fear. We need you. Bobby: Are you happy to be back in the saddle again? Dude, I'm loving it, man. I had such a blast last time. I'm just so ready to get back at it and just kind of -- I know there's so many places we haven't been. -I know we just started, so... -I like that attitude. He gets drug through an alley, and he likes it. Bobby: How did you end up in the alley in the first place? I thought I was following you. Like, it was your hoodie, your height. I was shouting at you. I know it was loud as hell. Everyone had masks on. But... And you just kept ignoring me, kept walking. Next thing I know, there's five hillbilly assholes coming after me, and they dragged my ass down the alley. Yeah, but, I mean, like, that didn't feel fake. You weren't there. It didn't -- it felt like I couldn't breathe. Like, I just thought i was gonna die. Mikey: But you didn't die. Think about it. It's like they said in "fight club." Your breakfast never tasted better the next morning. -Right? -I don't eat breakfast. Mikey: Jesus Christ, Brandy. Lunch, whatever. I'm trying to console you. I know. I get it. It's just, you know, and obviously I do this because I love you guys, but, you know, it's just crazy the things I do for you and your brother and Zack. Mikey: Well, it's that big of a deal. We're getting paid this time. I know you need the money. You know sure as shit I do. Anyways, so the good news is there's going to be a zombie run, so that'll be fun. Mikey: We have to run? I can't believe she actually came. She made it. Not sure how Mikey got her to come, but... Who cares? She's here. Look who's back! Ready for Halloween adventures, part two? Excited? Yep. What's up, kids? Can't believe you convinced me to do it again, but... Zack: That's not that smile on the Brandy face we were looking for. Boop. Bobby: We were scared, too. I'm not saying that we weren't. I mean, they put us in the ground. I get it. I didn't -- there was half of me that just didn't know what was gonna happen next, and I hope that you just... Nothing happened, so we got over it, and here we are again. Brandy: Yeah, but everybody handles things differently. So... -That's fine. -Zack is always right, though. This is all part of the haunt. Nothing's gonna happen. We're not gonna get hurt. As much bullshit as that sounded like, it actually turned out be true. Yeah, I mean, it's like when you know something's good for you to do, but you don't necessarily want to have to go through it. Bobby: Do you know where she's taking you, where we're going right now, though? Brandy: No. Bobby: So she wants to talk to you in a, uh... I don't know if it's an old prison or something like that, these grounds that she works at because she -- she sometimes -- she wires people. She captures heart rates, stuff like that, sends people through haunted houses. Like, she's actually done studies, scientific studies that she's done that. So she sends them through these old prisons in the dark and then just kind of takes all the data she can. And, I mean, I think that's part of why she wrote that book. I'm just saying. Like, you don't -- like, if I was like, "hey, guess what. You have this really big thing that happened to you in your life, and you're kind of tormented about it. Now, we're gonna sit there and look at your inner, deepest thoughts, and we're gonna record it." And why does every reality show that exists on the planet, there's a confessional booth? 'Cause that's what people want to hear. Brandy: Great. Those people chose to do it. -I'm not. -You're choosing to do it. Brandy: I'm choosing to do that, but I don't have to choose to allow you to film me. -It is kind of dickish. -I won't film -- -thank you, Jeff. -Hey, pipe down, peanut gallery. -Yeah. -I don't know. Brandy: What do you want me to say? You want me to say yes? I'll think about it. Zack: That's my favorite answer you give. "I'll think about it." Because no means no, but "i think about it" means yes. Brandy: I mean, how did you get into this? Like, because I'm trying to get out of this. And you immerse yourself in it, you know. Well, I've always really liked being scared, but, of course, you know, fear, true trauma is awful. But there are a lot of ways that we can enjoy it and a lot of ways that we can grow from it, so I really wanted to try and figure out, you know, how we can engage with scary things in a way that will make us feel good and will even help us grow. -Mm-hmm -so I just... I've been studying fear and voluntary engagement with negative high-arousal stimuli, as we say... Brandy: What was that? ...for the past 10 years or so and looking at the boundaries between when fear is fun and when fear is traumatizing. So how many attractions have you been to? I mean, I don't even know anymore. Maybe like 50. -Wow. That's a lot. -Yeah. It's really hard not having free will... -Right. -...You know, and not being able to tap out when you want to. I didn't know if I was gonna die or if they were gonna stop and come out and laugh at me. -Right. -You know? So for me, like, that's always been the hardest part is, who knows what would have happened if, you know, if the police didn't come? These people that I've cared about so much and that are so close to me would put me in any situation that -- I mean, they couldn't have known, but I was just angry. You know, it was a lot of anger. And they just want to keep going to these and going to these, and we have so many more, and they don't -- they can't even comprehend what I'm feeling. -Right. -So they don't -- it's just -- it's not the same for them. Right. It never became real for them the way it did for you. -That's the scary part is... -Yeah. ...knowing whether you can trust your friends and, you know, knowing that your friends have your back and are not trying to pull one over but, you know, be there with you for the experience instead of making you the experience. Can you see a scenario where, you know, going through these attractions might be a way to not really get back at them, but kind of reclaim it for yourself, you know, to do it for yourself despite them, you know, to kind of say, "no, I want to do this and recapture the fun that I used to have"? Do you think that's something -- have you ever tried reminding yourself that, "everything in this environment is fake. I know nothing is really going to hurt me. You know, this is something that is supposed to be fun." Brandy: I want to say that I can, but every time I go through one of these haunted houses, I just -- I'm taken back. Here it goes. Mikey: Halloween would not be the same without you. -Yeah, well, we'll see. -This is -- I'm having second thoughts already. -We got a drone. -Do I get a beer? It's not a beer. This is absinthe. All right. Did that like a man. -Man. -That was good, sir. Thank you. Look at the alcohol -- look at the alcohol content. -Mikey is gonna get a little... -66.6%. Michael's got a special, I'll call it an outfit, coming his way. Jeff: I don't know, Zack. Should I really be drinking and droning? -That's a little unsafe. -Drinking and -- -drinking and droning? -Drinking and droning, bro. -It's a little unsafe. -That's good. Is this really gonna put hair on my chest? Bobby: No. Nothing will. No crazy stuff. -Like this? -We told you that before. Okay. Zack, I'm being serious. Brandy, we are going on a hayride. -It's a haunted hayride. -Yeah, but it's a hayride. -Whoo. -It's not crazy. Brandy: Okay. I'm serious. Man: Anoka, Minnesota, is the Halloween capital of the world. Man: You guys got good haunted houses up there? -That I could not tell you. -All right. They're known as the Halloween capital of the world. As to why they're known as that, I don't know. Maybe they were the ones that started it. Man: We need to find out. You're on main, Mike. I'm gonna make a right here. We are on main street of anoka, Minnesota. Supposedly, this is the Halloween capital of the world. We're trying to figure that out, though. I think maybe we should ask a local. Oh, there's a skeleton. Let's get right over here. -This is Halloween in the city. -Yeah. Look at that guy. Zack: What does it say? "I survived." Mikey: Ah, these old people, they've been here for a long time. I bet they know. Let's ask them. -How are you? -Hi! How are you? Who are you? Mikey: We're just roaming around looking for the best Halloween towns and haunted houses. Oh, this is a great one. They started trick-or-treating in this town. -Yeah. -Can you tell us that? -Thank you for the answer. -This guy knows the answer. -The reason this is -- -who are you guys? We're filming about haunted houses and Halloween and things. -Oh! Oh, yeah. Okay. -So tell us. This is the Halloween capital of the world. Why is that? How did you find it? That's the main question. -We googled it. -No. No. The reason is that they started trick-or-treating here. How so? And rather than the kids pushing over, like, bathrooms and outdoors and, you know, eggs and throwing stuff all around... Well, they used to tip over garbage cans. ...community thought it would be good, so they started trick-or-treating. So they said, "why don't these kids, -instead of doing bad things..." -This is a lovely town. Anoka, Halloween capital of the world. Zack: Do you think Brandy has any idea we're going to an r-rated haunt? Nope, that's the best part. I think there's a dog in there. Only we would find the Halloween capital of the world in the middle of nowhere. Dead end, Brandy. I say it's foreshadowing. Mm. I love foreshadowing. Ooh, a thrift store. I'm just happy because i feel like this is, like, the kids' version of Halloween. Yep. We're going on the kid version. We haven't done a haunted hayride yet, have we? Nope. I don't understand how it can be that scary. Well, after what we've seen, i have no idea. Mikey: I'm just saying. I don't know how it's that scary when you're all bundled up together in the back of a truck. It's freezing. Well, I mean, he's paying us to come out here. -I'm fine with it. -It's a hayride, though. How scary is it gonna be? I'll get paid to do any hayride possible. This sounds great. And I'm completely fine with that. This is farm boy's place. Jeff: I thought it was gonna be a little tame, but by the scare -- the scream -- Jeff, did you take hayrides on your farm? -Hey, Zack? -Yes! Glad you could make it out on such short notice. -Yeah, man! -Thanks for coming out! Yeah, no problem. This looks cool by the sounds I'm hearing. We're sitting on about 160 acres. We border -- we border about 10,000 acres of game reserve. So when we bury you guys out there, nobody will be able to find you. Don't -- don't say that. I told her. I said, "it's just a hayride!" Yeah, it's just a hayride. The guys, you pay us a couple hundred bucks, the guys are down, but the girl... -Not so much. -I'm not going back in there. -A little skittish. -Yeah. Well, let's go! Let's head up to the entrance. Yeah, where's the entrance? Bobby: There's 3,000 people there. I mean, they've got to have something to do. How do you compare yourself to some of the other haunts, some of the other crazy stuff people are doing? You know, we're not -- i know that some of the -- kind of one of the trends would be to go as extreme as you possibly can, some blue skeleton. That's not really what we're about. We try and straddle the razor's edge between family-friendly and still entertaining for the 21-plus crowd. So we're edgy, but I wouldn't say we're over-the-top extreme. Man: What have you heard about some of the extreme haunts, like, up in the north? Because it's kind of our first time up here. What have you heard that people are doing? Stealing peoples' shoes, putting them in coffins, driving them around and then just leaving them, and they're, like, maybe a half-mile away from the haunt, and they have no clue how to get back. You know, put bags over your heads, spray that bag with water, make it kind of hard to breathe. Man: They're waterboarding people now? -Yeah, yeah, yeah. -Wow. Anything to get a scare, right? Man: I hear you on that. So we want to do that stuff. Like, we actually -- i want to know. Where should we go? Try the corn maze down there. That's a pretty awesome show. Where is that from here? It's out towards exit 99 off of i-5, real close to that, 93rd street. Is it extreme, though? Like... I wouldn't call it extreme. Because I've got people with me that are, like -- I want the craziest place you can think of. Man: You don't have people with you. You want to go, dickhead. Well, no. I want to go, but some people, Mikey and Brandy, might not be able to take it. But we're still going -- we want to push them to the edge if you know what I mean. Well, I don't know that that's "push it to the edge." The only place I know of is you want to seek out hellbent. That will push you to the very edge. -Hellbent. -Hellbent. All right. I know you're down. Man: That's the second time we've been told that. Where'd you hear about hellbent? You hear about it everywhere in the network, -the haunted-house network. -See? That's what everybody's talking about. Exactly. Get you guys up to the front. So are you guys ready to do this? -Yeah. -Let's do it. This is benefits of being put in a coffin. Ah! -Oh, my god! -It's vibrating! I can't take it! Oh, my god! They are gonna get on. ...house and now we're putting you through a haunted house. No. Technically, it's a hayride, zombie 5k, and a zombie pub crawl, not haunted houses. -Fair? -Yeah. -Stay true to our word. -Yep. Yeah, you didn't go to soapbox -- the soap factory. Yeah, we go to an art-exhibit haunted house, and you're not there. Brandy: No. Jeff, what kind of barn is this? -Aah! -Christ! Oh, god! This is definitely a special kind of barn. Oh, that feels lovely, though. You smell different when you're awake! That's a new line. I like that. Oh, look, it's like a catacomb. Brandy: Oh, god. Oh, god. -I don't see anybody. -Oh! That guy just went on my shoulder! Aah! - Oh, god. Zack: They can't even -- they're doing better than they are! They're jumping out of the front! Oh, guy just rolled. Jeff, did you see that? That guy rolled off the back! Got to move him up. Should i say, "Jeff, change with me"? That chainsaw touching you like that is... -Chain on it. -Yeah. Brandy, there's your -- there's your out. -There's the rv. -Home sweet home. Zack: Couldn't be too far from civilization. --Oh, my god! Woman: Have fun! Just watch your step! Ohh. Zack: See, Brandy? Easiest money you've ever made. -Aah! -What the fuck? -Ow! Ow! -Hey, guys, wait up! Guys, wait up! That clown, when people were like, "oh, my god, i recognize you!" Was like, "oh, shit, you caught me on 'to catch a predator.'" oh, yeah. -Yeah! -Oh, you g-- oh. -That was important to us. -You guys are amazing. I fricking love you guys. -Yeah? -Oh. Thank you guys so much. What was your name? What was your name? -Clicks. -Clicks. Mikey. -Nice to meet you. -You made our night. You made our night. I mean it, man. You guys made my night, like, seriously. I love you guys. All right. Thanks, man. Zack: Dude, let's go to that haunt. Brandy: No. I'm not doing haunted houses. Jeff, you got 6.7 miles, and then you stay on it here to fearing. Man: Whoa! Was that a pumpkin? Have you ever done the zombie pub crawl? I have. It's actually on that newspaper there. -A few years ago, I made -- -oh, nice, got in the paper. Woman: Yeah, I made the paper. I have to eat in the zombie brains-eating contest. -Brandy, you're up! -Now, it's just, like, an inside joke between my friends and I. I was like -- I should probably shut my mouth when that's coming my way. Man: Bobby, are you eating in the contest? You can eat with that on, too? Yeah. Kobayashi is going to kick our ass, so it doesn't really matter. Man: I know, but it doesn't matter, dude. It's about how you look. He's 120 pounds, and you're still not a threat to him. That's gross, which is awesome. -Thank you. -Yeah. I'm was smiling. I was just doing my growl in the picture, and I'm like, "cool." Is that the outfit you're wearing? That's a good outfit for it. -You're probably -- -i got something -- - it's getting to where -- -sorry. Bobby: Mike, get your suit on. Zombie pub crawl, next exit. The brain-eating championship is at gluek's in the... Where are we now? -Dude, are those intestines? -I'm taking Brandy's job over. Here we are. What are you wearing tonight, Michael? Man: Zack, we got to post this. -It's working. -I killed -- -i killed my husband tonight. -That's terrible. Bobby, what time? How are you enjoying your time at the zombie pub crawl? Man: Give me that! We got brain tacos, people, a recipe made by our friend Andrew zimmern. The record for most ever eaten was 54 by Joey Chestnut. I hope to see that blown away tonight. We have two brothers here tonight. Put your hands together for Mr. Bobby roe! There he is. Put your hands together for Mikey roe! And he's the sharpest-dressed man here today. Look at this handsome, handsome man! A four-headed beast of eating badassery, mini kiss! All right. Our last competitor needs no introduction. All the way from Japan, he holds many, many wins and records, including eight guinness records. The champion of the world-famous Nathan's hot dog eating contest at coney island, where his rookie appearance doubled the previous record of 25 dogs in 12 minutes. He's even beaten a record that was previously held by a fucking 1,000-pound kodiak bear at the Texas state fair. Standing at 5'8", weighing 135 pounds, takeru kobayashi! Yeah! Let him hear it! Start the clock! All right. Eating legend kobayashi. He grabbed the record for most tacos here with 54 2 years ago. We're gonna break that tonight, aren't we? Slow down! Make some noise! Kobayashi is blowing through the competition. I just stepped in brains. Fuck! Round of applause for kobayashi! Takeru kobayashi, the legend! Mini kiss is tapping out, I think! Mini catman is like, "nuts to this." We're gonna go fight the phantom of the -- 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1! Kobayashi! 97 eaten! He's gonna blow. Everybody back up! It's like -- it just sits -- now, what is the most disgusting food that you've ever had to eat during an eating competition? Oh, my god. Having to eat brains, the brains. -What you ate tonight? -Yes. That's right. Why was it so gross? Because they're stinky, and they're mixed with alcohol, and it tastes so bad. So in the -- in the whole world, for all the competitions, tonight, in Minneapolis, this was the most disgusting? Mm-hmm. Exactly. Exactly. -Thanks. -Thank you. Mike, let's go! I feel like you guys ruined my game, first of all. Just gonna put that out there. I would like to see you put out game one time, then. Can you drive? -Yeah, why? -'Cause you seem fucked up. Not -- -was that -- -you drive. -How are those fries? -Cold as shit. Better than zombie brains, that's for fucking sure. They said there's 30,000 people tonight. It was way nuttier. It was more fun than bourbon street. Well, yeah, because everybody, they just love getting fucked up, and they can walk around like zombies. -Ah! -Does it hurt? Zack: Just do it one -- one swoop. - Aah! No, no, no. I'm not kidding. Don't to it. Jeff: Hopefully, I don't hit these trees. Zack: I feel like we could Gauge traffic this way. Like, you could send it up, like, a mile and reroute us. Better than Google ma-- Jeff maps. Better than Jeff maps. It's following along. I told you, 1,500 feet is the high-- I got it up there high right now. It's about at 900. Bobby: Do you tell girls you're a pilot? Just -- keep it piling on. I like all these titles. It's kind of like playing a video game, Bobby. Bobby: Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, select, a, b, a, b, start? No, you got it wrong. A, b, a, b, select, start. Say it again? Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, a, b, select, start, I think? -99 lives. -I don't know. Jeff: You're going to need them all. See that, Brandy? You're gonna get a little wet. Yoo-hoo! Bobby: So basically, we came 900 miles to play capture the flag. Zack: Yep, researching right now. It's, like, a picture, like, flag football, and people run up. Zombies run up. They grab your flag. If you can make it through the whole 5k with both flags on, then you win. Bobby: And it's all in the daylight, bran, so nothing bad can happen. So people are running the 5k, and they're also sprinting away from people. Makes it a little bit harder for the people that are actually gunning to win. You're gonna be sprinting towards people because I signed you up to be a zombie. So you will be chasing us or anyone else. -Oh. -So you preselect everything? Zach: Yeah, no. You have the option, if you pay a little bit more, you can be a zombie. So Mikey is going to get to be a zombie. Do I get to dress up as a zombie? Zack: They're gonna put makeup on you, a costume. Yeah. I don't have to run the whole time. I just have to be able -- some wind sprint. Just sprint after people. That's fantastic. Man: Hey, everyone's got to be up at sunrise tomorrow. All right? Home sweet home for one night. Man: Where are the rest of the idiots? I don't know. You're gonna have to get Mike up because, I swear to god, he's hit snooze for the past 45 minutes, and I cannot hear that sound go off again. Man: Mike, let's go! Man: Music will play upon the course of this event. When the music stops, you're either one of us or one of them. 28 days. 28 weeks. The question is, can you survive 28 minutes? Go! Jeff: So how was it? Was it fun? It was good. It was good. I mean, I'm soaked, but... Just good? Well, you got to rate it. Yeah, fuck you. Hey, Brandy, you've got to rate it. Was it four skulls, five skulls? Four skulls. Four skulls. Jeff: Four skulls. That looked badass with the drone. Water, subway, helicopters. What else you want? Way more fun than a haunted house for you? And I got a workout in, so... I got to find Zack. Yo, Bob. Take a look. Guys, come here! Look at this. "Seek out hellbent." Zack: Well, there it is again. We're going there tomorrow night. "Seek out hellbent." Might get scared. Jeff, you had big titties in your face. Now you're gonna get laser titties. Jeff: Only because Brandy changed her rule. Brandy: Ugh! I cannot believe you guys got me to do this again. Man: It's an adult experience, not a haunt. Two words -- adults only. I don't know how that's different than the other haunts we've been to, but none of them have ever said it. Man: Stop saying laser titties. That doesn't mean anything. It will. Drank gasoline. He's drinking gasoline. Brandy: Whoo! Yeah! Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, step right up. Halloween season is in the air, and I don't know about you guys, but I would trade all the other holidays for just one more of these. I'll be honest with you. Right? You prove to me that anything I do is fake, I will give you $10,000 on the spot. -Yeah! -Whoo! Happy Halloween! Well, thank you guys so much for coming out -to chambers of horror. -Yeah, of course. Yeah, it's awesome having you guys out. It's really cool. I've heard this is an r-rated haunted house. It's definitely r-rated, lot of simulated nudity and just weird stuff like that. It's, you know, thing is, you're not going to scare everybody. We were kind of the idiots that came up with most of this new stuff. It's like, how many times can we spray people in the face with water or fake jizz or whatever it is that happens? -Real jizz. -It may or may not be. If you taste it, it's kind of salty. I bet. You should never, ever, ever lick something that lands on your face in a haunted house. That's how herpes and unwanted pregnancies start. -Not for the kiddies. -I'd love that. -I thought it was great. -That's right. Not for the kiddies but for the three titties. -Look at that. -Holy shit. Look at those titties. Man: Welcome. If you seek an emergency, help will be given. We are here to help you. But under obamacare, your vaccination against the outbreak are not covered. This way, assholes. "This way, assholes." Clean, clean, surprisingly. Oh, sorry, i forgot you, sir. Saw that coming. Found the whore of the group right here. I bet you'd suck and fuck any goddamn dick you seen, wouldn't you? ...the headache here to the sore ass, or is it just another fun fudge-packing session, huh? It's a redneck fiasco of debauchery and insaneness. That's what cool about doing it, the extreme haunt. You're just say, "fuck the world." You know? Brandy: And with an extreme haunt, is there any limitations that people won't go to, do you find? Or do you think it's kind of a free-for-all? Well, the market seems like it's getting crazy stupid. There's some people that call snuff clubs haunted houses now. And, uh, you know, hackjob's thing, it goes extreme as you want it to nowadays. Man: You must be waiting on the granny tranny gangbang! Wait until you see my next little fuck puppet! Did you finger-blast that hand again? Man: ...This fucking ass and give you a double-donkey mark you'll never forget. Little cotton swab up your dick hole, make sure there ain't shit all in there. We gonna get you cleaned up nice. After you've gotten the vaccination, don't worry because then you got to get armed up and ready to do. Once everything is all set, the doctor wait's short. Come on. Follow me this way! Holy shit. She just shot that dude. We have to get the eggs out of her anus, so we're going to apply a gentle laxative. Might I ask for an assistant? Come on! Push, cunt, push! Oh, fuck it! Oh, oh. If you want to die, you should probably go that way before we shove it in your anus. I heard he wanted... No. What the fuck is this? Damn it! You don't know what they do to us in here. --Ha, look at that! -Looks like you two guys. -Ah! What the fuck? Jeff: Brandy, Brandy, let's go. Stay away from them. Man: We've been waiting for you all night. Laser titties. Go, go, fucking go! Get out of here, go, hard! Get out of here now! Help me. Please, you got to help me. You come in here now, bitch. You come with me. Get your fucking ass up here. Now, look, that's what she get for using her titties now. We gonna have us an orgy here, have us a good time, now, ain't we? -Shut up! -I'm sorry. Come on. She jacked up on that swamp juice! -Yeah. Oh! -Oh, my god! Please don't rape me. Please don't rape me. Have us a good time. Yeah. Come in. Come in. I've been expecting you. I need more children. Come in, children. Line your backs up against the wall. I've been expecting you, yes, yes. Man: Keep your eyes open, your mouths closed. Here we go! Move! Move! And I'm gonna pick up one of these when we're done. Man: How many of those shirts do you have? -Let's go. -Nice. Break it down. Step forward. You know you're beautiful, mesmerizing. Come. Brandy: Jeff, where did everybody else go? Jeff: How the hell do we get out of here? Yes. You only escaped 'cause i let you, but not this time. Oh, fuck you guys. Look, I know you brought us out here, but this is fucking too far. What? Who are you talking about? Brandy: Look, who is on this? Who is this guy? Jeff: Dude, take a look. Man: That's just a mannequin. I don't know who that is. That's not one of our actors. -You don't know who that is? -No, it's not. How is it not one of your actors? He's here at your haunt. That's not one of our masks. I don't know what to tell you. Brandy: Look, okay, whatever. Good show. -Hey, is this mine? Or... -Can I grab a couple... -Shots of you? -Okay. --What happened? Man: Oh, god, somebody did something. I don't know. -You want me to fight him? -I'm a peon. I don't have a... But, yeah, something just happened. Man: Brandy, wait up. You know what, guys? I'm fucking done. What are you crying about? I know what you did in there. I went and I talked to the manager, so I know what you did. So unless you want to give me a fucking raise, I'm not doing this shit anymore. We didn't do anything! What are you talking about? Whatever. That's what you say every single time, and I'm done. -I'm done. -Whatever. I mean... Brandy, what the fuck? -You guys are such jerks. -So what's the deal? You know what the deal is. You guys set me up. -I don't know what you're -- -set you up for what? I don't know what you guys are doing. Like, you're just -- I told you no shenanigans or any of this... There's no shenanigans. You don't know. ...extreme haunt stuff. Bobby: Jeff, what did you see? You were with her. We showed the manager the footage. It was the same guy from last year. The guy didn't work at the place. It was just weird. It was just weird. Like, the guy didn't belong there. He looked just like the guy from last year. And he knows that some random -- like, I don't understand. Jeff: Zack, I'm telling you, like, it was really -- Bobby: I saw six skulls. I saw six skulls in that haunt. It's the manager's job to know all of his employees. I think he knows. And you recognize a specific skull mask, and he recognizes that that's not one of his in the dark? Hi. When something really big happens in your life, you tend to remember it really well. Where the fuck did you guys go? I have everything up. Zack: Brandy and Jeff are freaking out because a guy in a skull mask jumped out at them. Mikey: What happened? We were going through the haunt, and there was a guy -- and you got scared. That's what the point of going to a haunted house is. Okay. I feel like you're just -- you're demeaning this a little bit, and it's not fair. It's -- we asked the manager, and he said it wasn't his guy. I think he knows who works there. And this is not worth it for me anymore. This is -- it's just not worth it. Brandy, they're paying us a lot of money. We still have hellbent. We have to go to the haunted hoochie, and we have Satan's hollow. Great. This is not worth it for me anymore. It's just not. What do you need? I'll give you more money. We have to finish. We have those three places, and that's it. Hellbent's tomorrow night. We have -- and then, Friday, we'll go to the haunted hoochie. We'll end the weekend with Satan's hollow. We're done. Okay. I'll do one more, but I'm -- I'm not making guarantees about the others. Okay. I will transfer you more money in the morning. Bobby: Haunt extortion. Do you want me to go or not? Because I think you kind of need to stop right about now. All good? But also, don't freak out. It's -- you're supposed to be getting scared. It's a haunted house. Okay. Whatever, Zack. You obviously just don't understand. -Why are you paying her more? -Well... -I was scared, too. -Shut up, Mike. Bobby: Nobody's paying for the bearded man. They're paying for coffin girl. This is what got Brandy to stay. Hey, don't eat my healthy snacks, all right, bro? -Fucking water. -What? -At least we got her to stay. -Yeah, true. -All right. -All right. I'm gonna go to bed. Long day tomorrow. -Going to go hit the hay, bro? -Toast. Go hit the hay, farm boy. Without sleep, you live two lives, Jeff boy. Shut it down, bro. Zack: Jeff, I said get up now. Let's go. -What? -Mike, Brandy, get up. -What? -It's 4 fucking o'clock. We're never gonna make it to the haunt. Go now, right now. Jeff, let's get going. -What the fuck? -Hey, dude. -Fuck, dude. -How is it 4:00? -Hey, we got to get on the road. -Morning. We got to get on the road. What the fuck are you talking about it's 4:00? How does -- Jesus Christ. I feel like shit. Where the fuck -- this is not the fucking campground. What the fuck? Bobby: Where the hell are we? Where did you park last night? Jeff: I parked at a campground. -This -- this is -- -you saw other rvs? Jeff: This is absolutely not the place we were at last night. I don't know where we're at. Bobby: Zack, look at the sign. -Hellbent. -God damn it. What the fuck? Brandy: Guys, what's going on? -Somebody's literally -- -what the fuck? Open the door, Bobby. There's a sconce that's sitting in the door. -Open the door. -The door is fucking locked. Mikey: That guy's wearing my fucking suit, man. Brandy: What? Mikey: Jesus Christ. Brandy: Guys, this is the stuff I'm talking about. I did not sign up for this. Bobby: Check your closet now. -Yeah, that's mine. -Is it in there? -No, it's gone. -They've been in here? I don't have it! Go ahead. Look where we are, bro. -How are we in north Carolina? -I have no fucking idea. How are we in fucking north Carolina? I have no idea how we're in north Carolina right now. -We went to bed. -How is it 4:00 P.M.? Zack: The clown just left. Brandy: Are they just gonna leave us in here? Well, he's not gonna let us out until it's dark. It's gonna be fucking locked till dark. We're not gonna be able to get out. And then they're gonna have us go in. You got us in some deep fucking shit tonight. It's time. Brandy: Guys, this is insane. Zack: Welcome to hellbent. -You ready, Brandy? -Lights on. Here we go. Please, please let me go. I don't want anything to do with this. I'll go wherever you want. Just take your hands off me. Brandy: Stop. Stop! Why are you doing this? --Stop! What's going on? Get off me. I don't -- just tell me what's going on. Bobby! What's going -- - Bobby! Stop! Stop! Please stop! Please just stop! No! Bobby! Stop! No! No! No! No! Brandy: Are you okay? Are you okay? No! No, Bobby! Bobby! Bobby! Bobby! No! What do you guys want? No! Jeff! Jeff! Please help. Please help. No. Aah! Aah! Ah. -Oh, Jesus! -Oh, oh, oh, Brandy! -Put the gun down. -Brandy, it's us. You fucking knew the whole time! -What is this? -What the fuck's going on? It's not fucking funny! Brandy, it's us! Brandy, it's us! It's us! It's us! It's us! Put the gun down! -What the fuck is this? -Put the gun down. -What is this? -Hey! No. It's not fucking funny! It's never been funny! Put the gun down! -You guys just fuck with me! -There was a check! No. There was a check, and there's money in there! Yeah, I don't give a fuck anymore! -Is this what you want? -Brandy, it's all fake. Seriously, put the gun down, please. What are you doing? Where did you get a gun? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Brandy, stop! Brandy! No! Jesus Christ, somebody call an ambulance! -What the fuck? -Brandy? What the fuck did you do? -What the fuck did you do? -Brandy, Brandy! -Oh, man, check this out. -What you got there? Same watch we got that camera from. Cool. Let's go make a movie out of it. Let's make a movie. Hey, guys, this is the ladies' restroom. Yeah. We know. We're shooting a little video. Brandy: That's not what we're here to do. Why is there an alarm? What the hell happened? Hey, what is -- -what the hell's going on? -Why are the cops here, dude? What do you mean, the fucking cops are here? Do you hear him on the walkie? He said the cops are here. Hold it. We did everything they fucking said, everything they fucking said. -I know! -Where's Brandy? Why are the cops here? I'm getting the fuck out of here. Bobby: This is the layout of hellbent. Mikey's in the first room. That's the fireplace room. She goes to the next room, and that's when we get blood boarded, and we go to next one, and that's Zack. That's the chainsaw room. Then, after that, she's gonna get pushed to you, Jeff, and you hanging from the ceiling. Then we go out through the back tunnels. We all change. She's gonna get brought right up through here in the mousetrap. We surround her, start bringing her in. She should be contained right here. That way, they get the shot they asked for, and we get paid. Give her the casket. She opens it up, check's in the casket, happy Halloween, done. Hopefully, she doesn't want to fucking kill us. -Brandy! -Brandy, come on! Brandy, Brandy, Brandy, Brandy! -No, no, no, no, no! -Brandy, stop! Brandy! Jesus Christ. Somebody call an ambulance! -Brandy? -Brandy? What the fuck did you do? What the fuck did you do? Brandy? Brandy? Come on! Brandy, Brandy, Brandy, Brandy, Brandy? Holy shit. What the fuck are you doing? Is this a joke? -Oh, my god. Are you kidding me? -It's a fucking joke? What? You wanted your grand finale, your big ending? You've got your fucking big ending, and you've got your fucking dumb shirt. -You know about this? -I'm done with you guys. -Did you know about this, Bobby? -Done! What did I know about the what -- oh, my god. This was supposed to be about you. We did it for you. There was money. There was a check in there. It was supposed -- it was -- it's not a joke. It was for you. Bobby: The fuck is this? Did you set this up? -They told us we film. -Such bullshit. Bobby: We put you in the situation. We ham it up for the cameras. Their shit goes viral. We get paid fuck-tons of money. That was it. That was all. -We did not mean to hurt you. -This was money. Bobby: There was supposed to be a fucking check in there... -Yeah. -...Not a gun! -I'm done. -Brandy, we're so sorry. Mikey: Brandy. What? Go away. Mike, go away. Halloween spooks behind the tree |
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