1
1, 2, 3.
NOW, CHILDREN,
HOW DO WE LIVE?
ELGAR?
[AIRPLANE FLIES OVER]
THANK YOU, HEYWOOD.
AHH.
[HORN HONKS]
IT'S JUST THA I GET THE FEELING
THAT WE'RE ALL--
I MEAN, EVERYBODY--
BLACK, WHITE, YELLOW,
DEMOCRAT, COMMUNIST,
REPUBLICANS,
OLD PEOPLE, YOUNG PEOPLE,
WHATEVER...
ONLY THE FINEST THING
IN MY SHOP, GIRL.
WHICH ONE OF Y'ALL
IS NEXT?
I MAY CLOSE THIS PLACE
WITH THIS CHILD HERE.
WE'RE ALL LIKE
A BUNCH OF ANTS...SEE?
[HORN HONKS]
SEE, THE STRONGEST DRIVE
WE HAVE AS A TRUE LIFE-FORCE
IS TO GAIN TERRITORY.
GOSH,
YOU'RE GORGEOUS.
WHERE DO YOU LIVE,
BABY?
AHEM.
IT'S A BRAND NEW DAY
BRAND NEW WAY
I'VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING...
I MEAN, ANYTHING
QUITE LIKE THIS BEFORE.
I'VE ALWAYS WANTED
TO DO I BECAUSE EVERYBODY
WANTS HIS OWN HOME,
AND I'VE NEVER
HAD A PLACE OF MY OWN.
LAST NIGHT I HAD A DREAM
THAT THE WORLD
WAS CHANGING
BY LEAPS AND BOUNDS
IT STARTED UP
IN THE BIGGER CITIES
THEN IT SPREAD
TO THE SMALLER TOWNS
THE PEOPLE BEGAN
TO SMILE AT PEOPLE
THAT NEVER EVEN THINK
AND WHEN JEREMIAH
WOKE ME UP
I WAS READY TO LIVE
THAT DREAM
IT'S A BRAND NEW DAY
SO LIKE
HART CRANE THE POET,
WHO'S ALSO A CANCERIAN--
SEE, I'M A CANCERIAN--
AND HOME
IS VERY IMPORTANT,
BUT WE NEVER SEEM
TO MAKE IT.
SO, UH...
MONEY'S NEVER BEEN
THE PROBLEM.
BOW OUR HEADS TOGETHER
AND SEE WHERE
WE GO FROM THERE
WE'VE GOT TO FIGH FOR WHAT WE BELIEVE IN
FIGHT UNTIL THE END
IT'S A BRAND NEW DAY
IT'S A BRAND NEW WAY
BRAND NEW WAY
BRAND NEW DAY
BRAND NEW WAY
SO, SHIT,
I BOUGHT THIS HOUSE.
ACTUALLY,
IT'S A TENEMENT HOUSE.
IT'S IN THIS GHETTO AREA.
WHEN ENEMIES ARE SHATTERED,
DON'T INVESTIGATE
HOW CAN YOU
BE SURPRISED?
WITH THE IMAGE
OF OUR FALLEN KING
REFLECTED IN OUR EYES
NO, THIS IS NO TIME
FOR SHOUTIN' NOW
YOU'RE GONNA HUR MY FAITH HERE
BUT THE RAYS OF LIGH WON'T HIDE FOREVER
WHEN THE SUN
COMES SHININ' THROUGH
ON A BRAND NEW DAY
IT'S A BRAND NEW WAY
OH, IT'S
A BRAND NEW DAY
I JUST WANT TO GET ALL
THE GODDAMN TENANTS OU AND RIP IT OUT.
IT'S AN OLD HOUSE.
LOTS OF MOLDING.
IT'S A BRAND NEW WAY
A BRAND NEW DAY
UH-HUH
BRAND NEW DAY
YEAH,
A BRAND NEW DAY
YEAH,
I WONDER IF YOU KNOW
WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT
YOU BETTER CHECK
YOURSELF
GET IT TOGETHER NOW...
I WANT TO RIP OU ALL THE FLOORS
ALL THE WAY
UP TO THE SKYLIGHT, SEE,
AND THEN RECESS THE FLOORS
SO YOU HAVE BALCONIES,
AND THEN HANG
THIS BIG GODDAMN MODERN,
SPECTACULAR, PSYCHEDELIC,
SON-OF-A-BITCHIN' LIGH FROM THE CEILING.
IS THAT BEAUTIFUL?
BON TON HEIGHTS
WILL START A TREND
IN URBAN RENEWAL,
MR. ENDERS.
RESTORED LANDMARKS
WILL BE THE LATES SCREAM, I'M SURE.
I HOPE YOUR SEEING
MR. FARCUS' PLACE
GOING SO WELL
WILL INSPIRE YOU
TO FEEL ROSY ABOU YOUR NEW PLACE.
MY, MY. SHOPPING
WITHOUT STOPPING.
OH, MR. FARCUS.
ENID.
STREET MUSIC.
ISN'T IT MARVELOUS?
THIS IS MR. ENDERS.
HE'S YOUR NEW NEIGHBOR.
UH, I'M ELGAR ENDERS.
I'M YOUR NEW NEIGHBOR.
HE JUST BOUGHT A HOUSE
IN THE NEXT BLOCK.
YOUR HOUSE
IS JUST GREAT.
IT'S JUST FANTASTIC.
THIS NEIGHBORHOOD'S
GOING TO BE VERY CHIC.
LET'S HOPE THIS INFLUX
OF THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE
IS THE BEGINNING
OF AN INCLINATION, HUH?
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
WHAT IS THAT?
EVICTION POWDER.
EVICTION POWDER?
WHAT'S EVICTION POWDER?
OH, IT'S NOTHING,
MR. ENDERS.
JUST A LITTLE VOODOO.
HA HA HA!
ONLY $25, MAN!
YOU'RE LYING!
YOU'RE LYING,
MAN!
I WOKE UP
ONE MORNING, MAN,
I THOUGHT I WAS
IN THE WRONG HOUSE.
HA HA HA!
HE WAS CAUSING TROUBLE
THE NIGHT BEFORE.
HERE COMES
THE WHITE TORNADO.
HEY, MAN!
WHAT'S GOIN' ON?
YOU GOT TWO LITTLE
PEDALS DOWN THERE.
ONE'S A BRAKE.
THAT THING YOU GO YOUR HAND ON,
THAT'S
A GEAR SHIFT LEVER.
OH! NO GOOD.
NO GOOD, MY MAN.
TURN OFF THE CAR, MAN.
GET OUT THE CAR.
UH-OH!
WE'RE GONNA HAVE
TO WATCH OUT FOR THIS.
WHAT IS THIS
WE HAVE HERE?
OH...
COME CLOSER.
HEH HEH HEH!
I'M ELGAR ENDERS,
THE NEW LANDLORD.
YOU THE NEW
LANDLORD?
HE THE NEW LANDLORD, MAN.
THE NEW LANDLORD, MAN.
YOU DON' SHAKE MY HAND?
I JUST WANT TO...
I'LL PUT YOUR FLOWER
IN THE HOUSE.
I'LL TAKE YOUR FLOWER
IN THE HOUSE FOR YOU.
I'M GONNA TAKE YOUR FLOWER
IN THE HOUSE FOR YOU.
PUT IT DOWN
RIGHT THERE.
YEAH, THAT'S IT.
OH!
LOOK AT THIS TIE!
WHOO!
D'ARTAGNAN'S
GONNA STRIKE AGAIN!
AAH!
DID YOU SEE THAT CA MOVE OUT, MAN?
[WHISTLE]
HEY, KIDS,
HERE'S YOUR BIG CHANCE
TO PICK UP
THAT SPECIALLY PRICED
10--THAT'S RIGHT--
10-RECORD SE OF 200 CURREN UNDERGROUND HITS,
AS PLAYED BY THE EXCITING,
DYNAMIC CLYDE DAVIS BAND.
THAT'S RIGHT.
200 HITS FOR JUST $1.75,
INCREDIBLE AS IT SOUNDS,
WHILE THIS OFFER LASTS.
JUST SEND CHECK
OR MONEY ORDER
TO "DAVIS HITS, BOX 5152,
BATTLE CREEK, MICHIGAN."
GROOVY!
WHO ARE YOU?
WALTER GEE COPEE.
MY NAME'S WALTER GEE.
YOU THE NEW LANDLORD?
YEAH.
GIVE ME $2.00.
WHAT?
I SAID YOU OUGHTA
GIVE ME $2.00.
WHAT THE HELL FOR?
IF YOU LET ME
HOLD $2.00,
I'LL LET YOU
TAKE ME HOME.
IF NOT,
I'LL CALL THE PIGS.
YOU WILL, HUH?
GIMME, SPORT!
HELP!
ALL RIGHT!
SHUT UP NOW!
CIGARETTE, POPS?
[RADIO PLAYING
FUNK MUSIC]
DOES YOUR MOTHER KNOW
YOU SMOKE?
NO.
[TURNS UP VOLUME]
HOME, LANDLORD.
BYE, LANDLORD!
[CLUNK]
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE,
HONKY!
WHO'S THAT?
NOW TURN AROUND
AND MARCH YOUR BUNS OU BEFORE I SHOOT 'EM OU FROM UNDER YOU.
WHY ARE YOU
POINTING THAT AT ME?
'CAUSE MY HOROSCOPE
TOLD ME THAT EVIL
WAS COMING TODAY,
AND, MARGE,
HERE IT IS.
GET MOVIN'
OR ELSE YOU'LL HAVE
NO HIPS TO LEAN ON.
I OWN THIS HOUSE.
I'M THE NEW LANDLORD.
AND I'M A WREN TIT.
MOVE IT!
IF YOU'RE A LANDLORD,
HOW COME YOU AIN'T GO NO DOOR KEYS?
I HAVE DOOR KEYS.
YOU KNOW, YOU LOOK LIKE
A RAPIST TO ME.
YOU GOT FUNNY EYES.
THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
IF YOU'RE FIGURING ON
CARRYING OU A SEXUAL ATTACK ON ME,
YOU BETTER LEARN
THE KARATE BOOGALOO
'CAUSE WE GONNA TANGLE ASS
RIGHT HERE IN THIS HALL.
I AM THE NEW LANDLORD,
AND YOU'RE
DISREGARDING YOUR LEASE
BY PRACTICING WHATEVER
YOU'RE PRACTICING HERE
WITH THESE READINGS.
I'LL HAVE YOU
THROWN OUT.
IF YOU WANT TO SHOOT,
GO AHEAD AND SHOOT.
THAT'LL BE RUNNING
AN ILLEGAL BUSINESS,
NONPAYMENT OF RENT,
AND MANSLAUGHTER.
LITTLE THING LIKE YOU,
A LANDLORD?
YEAH. LET'S SEE HOW MUCH
BACK RENT YOU OWE,
ALL RIGHT?
IS THAT YOU
RIGHT THERE?
HUH?
TWO MONTHS BACK REN YOU OWE ME.
ALL HERE
IN THIS BOOK.
YOU LOOK LIKE
YOU COULD USE SOME FOOD.
COME ON, LANDLORD.
LET'S EAT.
[HUMMING]
OLD DUBOISE UPSTAIRS,
ALWAYS UP IN MY FACE,
TALKING ABOUT BEING
SOME COLLEGE PRESIDENT.
COLLEGE PRESIDENT?
WOULDN'T SWEEP THE HALL
IF HIS LIFE DEPENDED ON IT.
COLLEGE PRESIDENT.
SURE. SOME COLLEGE
ACROSS TOWN.
I NEVER HEARD
OF NO COLLEGE
SELLING DEGREES
FOR $50.
THEN THERE'S
THE UNEARTHLY
CUMBERSONS.
UNEARTHLY?
YEAH.
THEY'VE BEEN HERE
ABOUT 25 YEARS.
AIN'T NOBODY SEEN THEM
BUT TWICE.
HOW'S THA FOR BEING OMINOUS?
UH, THAT'S, UH...
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
IT WOULD BE
IF THEY WERE ALIVE.
ALIVE?
OH, THEY IS.
I HEAR 'EM
ROLLIN' AROUND
DOWNSTAIRS.
LISTEN, YOU SHOULD'VE
BEEN HERE THIS MORNING
FOR THE TENANTS
ASSOCIATION
RENT STRIKE.
WHAT RENT STRIKE?
DON'T WORRY.
IT WON'T HAPPEN.
WAIT. ARE YOU SURE?
HOW THEY GONNA GE A RENT STRIKE?
AIN'T NOBODY PAID REN LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER.
OF COURSE, UM...
THERE COULD BE
A BACK RENT STRIKE.
BUT YOU WOULDN' GET THAT, EITHER.
THAT WOULD GO
TO MR. LIPSCHULTZ.
THAT'S THE OLD LANDLORD.
NOBODY EVER PAID HIM
ANY RENT?
POOR SOUL.
LORD KNOWS
WHO'LL GET I NOW THAT HE'S
PASSED AWAY.
HE PASSED AWAY?
RAT.
BIG AS A DOG.
CHASED HIM
IN THE BROOM CLOSET.
NOBODY EVER GO IN
THE BROOM CLOSET.
I THINK
HE WAS IN THERE
ABOUT THREE MONTHS.
HOW DO YOU OFAYS
FIND YOUR WAY INTO
OWNING THESE RAT TRAPS?
WHAT DO YOU DO,
GIVE THEM AS
BAR MITZVAH PRESENTS?
GOTTA HAVE MORE
GUN CONTROL.
YOU WAN SOME MORE EGGS?
MARGE, WOULD YOU MIND
PUTTING THAT GUN AWAY?
DON'T WORRY.
YOU CAME MY WAY
SO I COULD PROTECT YOU,
THOUGH I KNOW
YOU'LL ONLY REPAY ME
WITH SUFFERING.
DON'T SAY THAT.
HEY, MARGE!
MARGE, HAVE YOU
SEEN SOME WHITE MAN
PROWLING AROUND HERE--
YOU.
IT WAS YOU.
IT WAS ME?
DON'T DENY IT,
DEGENERATE.
YOU GAVE MY LITTLE
WALTER GEE MONEY.
NOW HE'S SICK
ON CIGARETTES.
I FOUND HIM SICK
DOWN IN THE CELLAR
CHAIN-SMOKING,
SO I KNOW
SOME CHILD MOLESTER
GAVE HIM MONEY.
WHY DO YOU
LET HIM SMOKE?
YOU MUST KNOW
HE COULD GET CANCER.
I'M BUSY FRYING HAIR
ALL DAY.
I CAN'T WATCH
EVERYTHING HE DOES.
WHAT? YOU'RE FRYING HAIR
IN THIS BUILDING?
I DON'T HAVE A LICENSE
FOR FRYING HAIR.
HE AIN'T GOT NO LICENSE
FOR FRYING HAIR.
FIND YOUR OWN NEIGHBORHOOD
AND DO HAIR...QUEENIE.
I'M NO A HAIRDRESSER.
YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT.
FANNY.
HE'S THE NEW LANDLORD.
THAT'S RIGHT.
THE NEW LANDLORD.
THE NEW LANDLORD.
OH, LORD, AIN' THIS A SHAME?
MATTER OF FACT,
I'M GLAD WE MET.
YOUR NAME IS, UH...
MRS. COPEE.
RIGHT.
MY HUSBAND'S BEEN ILL.
MRS. COPEE...
HE HAS THIS
NERVOUS CONDITION.
HE HAS HEADACHES, TOO.
THE DOCTOR SAID
HE SHOULD HAVE
HIS OWN ROOM.
FOUR MONTHS' BACK RENT.
IS THAT POSSIBLE?
OH, ANYTHING'S
POSSIBLE, SUGAR.
ANYWAY, WE TOOK HIM
TO THE WILLS EYE HOSPITAL
BECAUSE HE'S GO THIS TWITCH,
BUT IT WASN'T HIS EYES.
WHAT WAS IT?
IT WAS HIS NERVES.
THAT'S, UH...
THAT'S UNDERSTANDABLE,
MRS. COPEE.
IT IS?
LOOK, WHY DON'T WE
GO DOWN TO MY PLACE
SO WE CAN DISCUSS THIS
AT LENGTH?
IF YOU WISH.
PROMISE ME YOU WON' SMOKE ANYMORE.
I PROMISE.
WHAT'S THAT?
UH, BYE.
I THINK, UH...
WALTER GEE!
WALTER GEE,
YOU COME
BACK HERE.
HEY, DUBOISE,
WHAT'S HAPPENING?
HELLO, FANNY.
COPEE IN TROUBLE
WITH THE PIGS AGAIN?
THIS AIN'T NO PIG
THIS TIME, SUGAR.
THIS IS THE NEW
LANDLORD.
LANDLORD...
PROFESSOR DUBOISE.
PROFESSOR DUBOISE,
HOW DO YOU DO?
I SWEAR, HE THINKS
THE LORD PU WHITE PEOPLE
ON THIS EARTH
AS A PUNISHMENT.
OF COURSE,
I DON'T HOLD
WITH NO SACRILEGIOUS
TALK LIKE THAT.
MM-HMM.
WHY DON'T YOU PUT SOME
AIR CONDITIONING IN HERE?
OH, UH...
YOU HAVE SOME
COMPLAINTS,
MRS. COPEE?
YOU'RE SERIOUS?
UH...YEAH.
I SURE DO.
SIT.
I'LL JUST, UH...
AHEM.
NOW--
UH...WHA SPECIFIC COMPLAINTS
DO YOU HAVE, MRS. COPEE?
WELL, WE NEED A NEW
PLASTERING JOB,
A NEW PAINT JOB.
THE OVEN DOOR'S BROKE.
THE ROOF LEAKS,
THE TOILE RUNS ALL DAY,
AND YOU AWFUL CUTE
TO BE A LANDLORD.
YOU SAID THE, UH...
THE ROOF, UH... RUNS,
AND THE TOILET...
TOILET LEAKS.
MMM.
IF YOU DIDN' SWEAT SO MUCH,
NOBODY'D TAKE YOU
FOR A LANDLORD.
YOU COULD PASS
FOR A HUMAN BEING.
THAT'S NOT A VERY NICE
THING TO SAY, MRS. COPEE,
BECAUSE I INTEND TO BE
A GOOD LANDLORD
AS LONG AS YOU'RE HERE.
WHAT YOU MEAN,
AS LONG AS I'M HERE?
[MAN'S VOICE]
WHO'S THAT YOU GO THERE WITH YOU?
OH, IT'S
THE NEW LANDLORD.
THAT'S MY HUSBAND.
AH.
NOW, UH...
ABOUT THE RENT,
MRS. COPEE,
ARE YOU--
LANDLORD...
THESE ARROWS
HAVE BEEN DIPPED
IN FANNY'S
BARBECUE SAUCE
SO AS TO MAKE
DEATH SLOW...
AND MORE AGONIZING
TO ITS UNFORTUNATE VICTIM.
LANDLORD,
YOU HAVE UNTIL
THE COUNT OF THREE
TO VACATE
THESE PREMISES.
1...
2...
3!
[LAUGHING]
YOU SON OF A BITCH.
YOU MAKE ONE MORE CRACK
ABOUT MY SPARERIBS,
AND I'LL BUST YOUR HEAD.
OH, YOU SHUT UP.
I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU
ABOUT PUTTING YOUR DRUM
IN THE LIVING ROOM.
[FUNK MUSIC PLAYING]
OH, MOTHER...
I'M SORRY.
IT'S MY ONLY CHANCE.
I GOT ITALIAN CLASS
AFTER THIS.
THEN YOUR FATHER...
OH, GOD.
KEEP TALKING.
I HEAR YOU.
FROM THE TOP.
1...2...
ABOUT MY HOUSE, MOTHER.
WHAT HOUSE, DEAR?
I'M IN LOVE
WITH THIS HOUSE.
1, 2...
3, 4, 5, 6--
DON'T DO THAT, DEAR.
YOU'RE THROWING ME OFF.
I'M JUST TRYING
TO HELP YOU.
I'VE INVESTED
IN REAL ESTATE.
YOU HAVE INVESTED
IN REAL ESTATE?
OSCAR.
OSCAR.
YES. YES.
YES, JOYCE.
OSCAR.
DARLING, LISTEN,
WILL YOU FORGIVE ME?
OSCAR, I PROMISE YOU,
WE'LL DANCE OUR BRAINS OU TOMORROW AT 10:00.
WITHOUT INTERRUPTION.
PRACTICE PUSHING.
PUSHING.
I WILL, CIAO.
CIAO, DARLING.
UH-HUH.
INSUFFERABLE
DANCE GODDESS.
HE THINKS THE SUN RISES
AND SETS ON RHYTHM.
"RHYTHM, RHYTHM."
ALL RIGHT, DEAR.
QUICKLY.
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
WHAT INVESTMENT?
POUR ME SOME OF THAT.
WHAT IS THAT, BRANDY?
OH.
GOD.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
YOU LOOKED LIKE
LIKE YOUR FATHER
WHEN HE WAS LITTLE.
AW, JOYCE,
FOR CHRIST'S SAKE.
YOU'RE DRUNK
AND UPSET.
WHY?
THIS HOUSE, THIS REAL ESTATE,
IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME.
IT'S THE MOST IMPORTAN THING I'VE EVER DONE.
I'M A CANCERIAN--
HOME'S VERY IMPORTANT.
YOU'RE A LEO.
NO, I'M A CANCER.
WHEN WERE YOU BORN?
THE 15th OF JULY.
SON OF A BITCH.
WHEN WAS I BORN?
MOTHER!
FOUL-MOUTH.
LITTLE FOUL-MOUTH.
MOTHER, DON'T DO THAT.
YOU HAVE 15 MINUTES.
THEN IT'S
MY ITALIAN CLASS,
WHICH I'M NO GIVING UP
TO ARGUE WITH YOU
ABOUT DATES.
YOU SEE THAT,
MY DARLING PUSSYCAT?
WHAT YOU DID IS BAD.
THERE'S AN IRON CURTAIN
IN THIS HOUSE, MOTHER.
WILL YOU TELL ME WHA YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT?
I'M TALKING ABOUT DOING
WHAT I WANT TO DO.
DO IT--OUT THERE
IN THE GUEST HOUSE.
I CAN'T DO I OUT IN THE GUEST HOUSE.
THE WAY YOU LOOK AT ME
WHEN I BARE MY GUTS,
YOU THINK
I'M OFF MY ROCKER.
I DON'T THINK
ANY SUCH MODERN THING.
WHY DON'T YOU
TAKE UP THE BANJO,
WRITE FOLK SONGS--
SOMETHING YOU CAN DO
IN YOUR ROOM?
GET A BATH.
GET YOURSELF
TOGETHER.
AND WASH EVERYWHERE.
OH, YOUR SISTER'S INVITED
PETER COOTES FOR DINNER.
YOUR BROTHER AND HIS WIFE--
WHAT'S HER NAME?
THEY'RE COMING IN
FROM WESTPORT.
PETER WHO?
PETER COOTES.
YOU KNOW PETER COOTES.
OH.
THE PETER COOTES.
OF COURSE.
DON'T GET SMART.
GET DRESSED, HUH?
AND COMB YOUR HAIR.
ALL RIGHT?
YEAH.
BIRD!
[GUNSHOTS]
I JUST WAN TO SAY, ELGAR,
THAT I'M PROUD OF YOU.
I'M GLAD YOU'RE MY BROTHER
AND NOT SOMEBODY ELSE'S.
WELL, IT'S A GREAT HOUSE.
I THINK SOMEBODY'S
GOT TO BEGIN
TO INTEGRATE.
I CAN'T. I DON'T HAVE
THE STOMACH FOR IT.
BUT TO THINK...
THAT I HAVE A REALLY
FORWARD-LOOKING,
DEVIL-MAY-CARE
REVOLUTIONARY
FOR MY BROTHER
MAKES ME FEEL RIGH IN THE SWING OF THINGS.
I JUST HOPE
YOU DON'T GET SHOT.
SUSAN, GOD.
HAVE YOUR PEOPLE
PLANNED ANY RALLIES
OR MARCHES
OR ANYTHING
LIKE THAT?
BIRD!
ELGAR, WOULD YOU DO ME
A FANTASTIC FAVOR?
WHATEVER YOU DO,
DON'T TALK ABOUT SPADES
TO POOR PETER.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
WITH THE NAPALM
AND ALL THAT,
HE'S VERY SENSITIVE
ABOUT THE NEW LEFT.
AND, ELGAR...
WHAT?
I LOVE HIM.
[SNIFFING]
BIRD!
[GUNSHOTS]
ELGAR!
MY GOD, WHAT ARE YOU TWO
BURNING UP HERE?
WHAT IS THAT?
[COUGH]
UH...MY SOCKS
CAUGHT ON FIRE.
YOUR SOCKS
CAUGHT ON FIRE.
WELL, PUT THEM OU AND GET DOWNSTAIRS,
THE BOTH OF YOU.
PETER'S GETTING BORED.
TASTE GOOD?
GOD, I'D LOVE
A LITTLE DEN
SOMEWHERE.
SUSAN, DEAR,
YOU CANNOT GO ON
FALLING DOWN
THE STAIRS
LIKE THIS.
TELL ME A PROPER WAY
TO FALL DOWN THE STAIRS,
I'LL TRY TO DO IT.
SUSU, YOU REALLY MUS GET A CHECKUP.
THIS COULD BE A CASE
OF LACK OF COORDINATION.
MAYBE IT'S CEREBRAL PALSY.
COULD BE YOU'RE
SMOKING TOO MUCH.
YOUNG MAN,
I'LL NOT HAVE YOU
TALKING AGAINS THE TOBACCO INDUSTRY
IN THIS HOUSE.
HAVE YOU BOUGH INTO TOBACCO,
MR. ENDERS?
MR. COOTES...
IN SOME CIRCLES,
YOU MIGHT SAY
I AM TOBACCO.
THAT'S REALLY COOL,
MR. ENDERS.
UH, WE'RE NAPALM.
IS THAT ALL?
NO.
WE'RE, UH...
INSECTICIDE
AND DEODORAN AND, UH...
[DOOR CLOSES]
MOM.
MOM.
SUSU. DAD.
SUSU. DAD.
SORRY WE'RE
LATE, GANG,
BUT THE TRAFFIC...
OH, GOD,
THE TRAFFIC...
PETER, I'D LIKE YOU
TO MEET MY SON.
SUSU TALKS
OF NO ONE ELSE.
THAT'S ALL SHE
TALKS ABOUT--
ELGAR, ELGAR, ELGAR.
WILLIAM JR.
WILLIAM JR.
PETER.
NO, NO, NO.
THAT'S ELGAR.
I'M WILLIAM JR.
THIS IS
WILLIAM JR.
WHY DON'T WE ALL
GO IN TO DINNER.
WILLIAM JR.?
COME ALONG, DORIS.
MMM.
MMM.
MM.
MM.
OH. SORRY, DAD.
THANK YOU, SON.
TO YOU.
THANK YOU, DAD.
DAD.
HMM?
I KNOW I'M NO SUPPOSED TO SAY THIS,
BUT WILLIAM JR. HAS
A SURPRISE FOR YOU.
SURPRISE?
SURPRISE, DAD.
WHAT SURPRISE?
WILLIAM JR.
HAS BEEN PROMOTED
TO HEAD
THE NEW YORK OFFICE.
YES, DAD,
I'M HEADING
THE NEW YORK OFFICE.
WELL, WILLIAM JR.,
IT'S NO MORE THAN
I EXPECTED OF YOU.
ELGAR,
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
I'M NOT DEAF, DAD.
ELGAR, ANSWER
YOUR FATHER.
DID YOU HEAR?
YEAH, I HEARD HIM.
WHAT ARE YOU
UP TO, ELGAR?
ELGAR'S BOUGH SOME REAL ESTATE,
HAVEN'T YOU, ELGAR?
SUSAN.
WHERE IS THIS
REAL ESTATE,
ELGAR?
THE PARK SLOPE AREA,
WILLIAM JR.
IT'S 2 MILES SOUTH
OF THE DODD-SEARS TOWNHOUSE
ON CONCORD STREET.
SUSAN, TAKE THE CLIP
OUT OF YOUR HAIR.
2 MILES SOUTH...
PARK SLOPE.
PARK SLOPE?
GOOD GOD.
ELGAR, ARE YOU
AWARE THAT, UH...
THAT'S A COLORED
NEIGHBORHOOD?
COLORED NEIGHBORHOOD.
I'M THREE DOORS
FROM MOM'S
CHITLIN 'N' RIB JOINT.
OH, ELGAR.
WE WILL NOT DISCUSS
THE REVOLTING ASPECTS OF
YOUR BUSINESS VENTURE,
IF YOU DON'T MIND.
WHAT'S I ALL ABOUT, FOLKS?
WELL, PETER, UM...
YOU MIGHT AS WELL HEAR,
SINCE YOU'RE LIKELY
TO MARRY MY SISTER,
IF SHE HASN' TOLD YOU ALREADY.
TOLD ME WHAT?
ELGAR, DON' YOU DARE.
WE CAN'T KEEP IT SECRE ALL OUR LIVES.
YOU WANT TO HEAR
THE TRUTH.
IT INVOLVES
YOU AND SUSAN.
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
PETER, ACTUALLY, UH...
OUR WHOLE FAMILY--
MOM, SUSU, DAD,
WILLIAM JR.,
AND GRANDFATHER HERE...
WE ARE ALL...
OCTOROONS.
WHAT AN UGLY THING
TO SAY.
I'M OFFENDED.
OCTOROON?
HEYWOOD AND EDITH ARE
OUR POOR DARK RELATIONS.
ELGAR!
WOULD YOU PLEASE
EXPLAIN YOUR CONDUC AT THIS TABLE
TONIGHT?
DARLING, COME ON,
APOLOGIZE.
HE MAKES NAPALM
AND DEODORANT.
AND INSECTICIDE.
YOU LAZY,
NO-GOOD LIBERAL.
SHALL I SERVE
THE FISH--
WHAT?
OH. YES, BRING IN
THE FISH...PLEASE.
LET ME TELL YOU
SOMETHING,
MR. LINCOLN.
IF YOU MARCH
INTO THIS HOUSE
WITH AN ARMFUL
OF PICKANINNIES,
THE BEST YOU CAN
EXPECT FROM ME
WILL BE A SWIFT KICK
IN THE ASS!
MR. ENDERS, YOU FORGO TO FINISH YOUR SOUP.
UH! I'M JUS TOO UPSET, EDITH.
EDITH, BRING IN
SOME OF THA WONDERFUL TROU OF YOURS, PLEASE.
I THINK THAT'LL
HELP EVERYTHING.
THANK YOU.
LORD, MR. ELGAR,
YOU SURE LOVE EDITH'S
COLD POTATO SOUP.
YOU WANT SOME MORE, SIR?
THAT'S THE LAST STRAW!
THAT'S ALL RIGHT,
FOLKS.
THERE'S PLENTY MORE
SOUP IN THE KITCHEN
IF ANYBODY
WANTS ANY.
ELGAR, GET OU OF THIS ROOM!
GO!
DO YOU KNOW WHA NAACP MEANS?
NO, ELGAR.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
IT MEANS, "NIGGERS AIN' ALWAYS COLORED PEOPLE."
WHAT DOES
HE MEAN BY THAT?
HE CALLED US NIGGERS.
US?
HEYWOOD.
KNOCK IT OFF.
RITA, I JUST WAN TO TALK TO YOU.
NO. NO, I DON'T.
I JUST WANT TO--
RITA? I WANT TO TALK--
SALLY, THE THING
THAT AMAZES ME THE MOS IS THAT MY PARENTS
DON'T UNDERSTAND
THAT THEY ARE TOTALLY,
TOTALLY ANTICHRISTIAN.
PLEASE, ELGAR,
I'M SORRY.
I DON'T HAVE TIME
TO TALK TO YOU.
IT'S NOT LIKE
I COME AROUND
WITH MY PROBLEMS--
I HAVE TO MAKE FESTOONS
FOR THE "WORTHY CAUSES" BALL.
I JUST WANT TO COME IN
FOR A FEW MINUTES.
LET ME COME IN
FOR A FEW MINUTES.
WHO'S THAT?
HE'S, UM...
HE'S HELPING ME
WITH THE FESTOONS.
OH.
AHEM.
YEAH, WELL, TILL
I SEE YOU AGAIN,
HAVE A MERRY
CHRISTMAS
AND HAPPY NEW YEAR,
HAPPY HALLOWEEN,
AND SCREW YOU, TOO.
HEY, YOU KNOW THA PEACE SYMBOL THING
YOU GOT HANGING
AROUND YOUR NECK--
SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS.
LET ME
LOVE YOU, BABY
I WAN TO LOVE YOU NOW
CLOSE YOUR EYES
AND SHUT OFF THE LIGHT
LET ME SHOW YOU HOW
LAY BACK AND YOU
WILL UNDERSTAND
THE WAY I FEEL
EVERYTHING
YOU'VE EVER WANTED
EVERYTHING IS REAL
LET ME LOVE
LET ME LOVE YOU, BABY
LET ME LOVE YOU NOW
OH, LET ME
LOVE YOU, BABY
LET ME SHOW YOU HOW
I'LL SHOW YOU HOW
WHOA, LET ME LOVE YOU
WHOA!
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYS]
UH, HI.
HI.
UH, I'M ELGAR.
MY NAME'S LANIE.
WOULD YOU LIKE
TO DANCE?
FANTASTIC!
WHAT'S FANTASTIC?
YOU, YOUR BEING HERE,
IT'S FANTASTIC.
ARE YOU WITH V.I.S.T.A.?
IS THIS SOME SOR OF NEW PROGRAM?
V.I.S.T.A.
RIGHT.
VOLUNTEERS
IN SERVICE TO AMERICA.
VOLUNTEERS, HUH?
YOU THINK I'M WHITE,
DON'T YOU?
OH, THA--
THAT'S...
THAT'S...
WELL, HOW WAS I
SUPPOSED TO KNOW?
IF IT'S THAT IMPORTANT,
YOU SHOULD'VE ASKED.
NO, IT'S NO THAT IMPORTANT.
WELL, O.K. O.K.
LET'S JUS KEEP DANCING.
WELL, MY MOTHER'S IRISH,
MY, UH, FATHER'S BLACK,
AND THEY GOT DIVORCED
WHEN I WAS, UH...
16 YEARS OLD.
THE COURTS SAID I SHOULD
SPEND THE WINTERS
WITH MY FATHER
WHEN I WAS
GOING TO SCHOOL.
IN THE SUMMER, I, UH,
LIVED WITH MY MOTHER.
SO IN THE SUMMER
I WAS WHITE,
AND...AND IN THE WINTER...
I WAS BLACK.
GOD, WHAT DID THA DO TO YOU?
I GOT VERY WISE.
SO, WHY DO YOU
WORK THERE?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
WHY DO I WORK
THERE?
IT, UH...
IT'S A BAR.
WELL, I LIKE IT,
AND, UH...
AND WHAT?
AND?
COME ON, AND WHAT?
AND NOTHING.
SO IF I WALK UP
TO YOU
AND I SAY,
"I RECOGNIZE YOU,"
THEN, UH...
THEN WHAT?
WE RECOGNIZE...
RECOGNIZE SOMETHING
THAT WE'VE
ALWAYS KNOWN.
[LAUGHS]
I GUESS THAT DOESN' MAKE TOO MUCH SENSE,
DOES IT?
HOW OLD ARE YOU?
YOU'RE 29 YEARS OLD,
AND YOU STILL
LIVE AT HOME?
IT'S A BIG HOUSE.
OH, NO HOUSE
IS THAT BIG.
WELL, COME ON,
LET'S GO.
WHERE?
TO MY PLACE.
YOU SURE
IT'S ALL RIGHT?
IT'S ALL RIGHT, ELGAR,
BUT TOMORROW
YOU HAVE TO GO HOME.
COME ON, ELGAR,
I HAVE A CLASS
AT 1:00.
HOW OLD ARE YOU?
24?
I'M 26 YEARS OLD.
I BELIEVED YOU
WHEN YOU SAID
YOU WERE 24.
YOU DID?
YEAH.
IN HERE!
LANDLORD,
IN HERE.
COME ON.
DUBOISE,
WILL YOU MOVE.
COME ON, HURRY UP.
THERE'S WATER RUNNING
ALL OVER MY KITCHEN.
OH, MY GOODNESS!
YOU'RE MAKING MORE MESS
THAN WE GOT.
WHAT ARE--
WHAT IN THE HELL
ARE YOU DOING?
[BUZZ]
[BUZZ]
IS THAT O.K.?
FINE. THANKS.
O.K.?
O.K.
O.K.?
O.K.
O.K.
MR. CUMBERSON!
I WANT TO KNOW
IF YOUR BELL WORKS.
COME ON.
I KNOW HE'S IN THERE.
OH, YEAH. I'LL BET.
OH, COME ON, PLEASE.
IF YOU DON'T WAN YOUR BELL FIXED, FINE.
ALL RIGHT?
ALL RIGHT, FORGET IT.
I SHOULD BE GETTING
THE PLANS BACK
FROM THE BUILDING
DEPARTMENT SOON.
AS SOON AS EVERYBODY CAN
FIND A NEW PLACE TO LIVE,
I CAN START WITH MOS OF THE HEAVY WORK.
UH, MARGE,
HOW AM I GOING TO GE EVERYBODY OUT OF HERE?
I WOULDN'T SI ON A HOT STOVE
TILL IT HAPPENS.
HEY, LANDLORD!
HEY! HOW ARE YOU?
I JUST THOUGH I'D COME BY
AND SEE YOUR HOUSE.
NOW, IN HERE,
I'M GOING TO RIP
ALL THIS OUT HERE,
SEE, STRAIGHT THROUGH
TO THE SKYLIGHT.
IN THAT AREA, I'LL HANG
A BIG CHANDELIER.
RIGHT.
AND HERE I'M GOING
TO PUT A PATIO.
DON'T STEP
ON THIS STUFF.
LOTS OF USED BRICK
AND MAYBE SOME
TUBS OF FLOWERS
ALONG THE WALL HERE.
AND THEN--
RIGHT HERE
IN THIS CORNER,
I THOUGH IT'D BE WILD
IF WE HAD SOME KIND
OF FANTASTIC
SCULPTURE.
THAT'D BE VERY NICE.
OR MAYBE A BIRDBATH.
A BIRDBATH.
GUESS WHAT?
WHAT?
THEY'RE HAVING
A RENT PARTY
FOR ME TONIGHT.
CAN YOU COME?
I CAN'T.
I'LL BE DANCING TONIGHT.
OH, GOD. I'M LATE
FOR THE DENTIST.
I GOT TO GO.
WHY ARE YOU GOING
TO THE DENTIST?
I GOT THIS WICKED TOOTH
BACK HERE.
I'VE ONLY HAD ONE CAVITY
IN MY WHOLE LIFE.
THEY CAN USE SILVER
IF YOU'D RATHER.
CAN I GIVE YOU
A RIDE?
HIS OFFICE IS JUS A COUPLE BLOCKS
FROM HERE.
THIS YOUR CAR?
YEAH. YEAH.
CAN I CALL YOU
TOMORROW?
O.K.
BYE-BYE.
BYE.
HEY! WHAT THE HELL
YOU DOING
ON THE TOILET?
HEY!
[PARTY MUSIC PLAYING]
HOJAMBO.
MEANING "WELCOME,"
PROVIDED, OF COURSE,
YOU HAVE THE NECESSARY
REQUISITE--$2.00.
PROFESSOR.
THANK YOU.
HOW YOU DOING?
MONSIEUR LANDLORD. $5.00.
$5.00?
YOU AREN'T REAL,
PROFESSOR.
NOT QUALIFYING
AS A SPOOK
OR HALLUCINATION,
I ASSURE YOU, SIR,
I'M A BIT MORE REAL
THAN YOU ARE.
HOLD IT, EVERYBODY!
HOLD IT NOW!
HERE HE IS.
HERE HE IS,
OUR GUEST OF HONOR--
OUR WONDERFUL
AND NEW LANDLORD.
HI.
HE, UH, UH...
NOW LISTEN.
YOU DON'T BOTHER HIM,
AND HE WON'T BOTHER YOU.
I'LL GET YOU A DRINK.
[MUSIC STARTS]
DO IT! DO IT!
DO IT! DO IT!
WHOO!
DO IT! DO IT!
DO IT! DO IT!
DO IT! DO IT!
WHOO!
WHOO!
FORM A CIRCLE!
WHOO!
[SLOW-DANCE MUSIC
PLAYING]
NOW, CHILDREN,
HOW DO WE LIVE?
ELGAR.
BLACK.
BLACK.
BLACK.
BLACK.
BLACK, BABY.
BLACK.
BABY, BLACK
IS A WHOLE NEW THING.
AND YOU'RE GOING
TO HAVE TO RECKON
WITH IT.
IS IT A FAD, THOUGH?
SEE, THAT'S THE THING.
MAN, THAT IS NO THE THING.
IT'S LIKE
YOU GOT A MOLE.
YOU GOT A MOLE
RIGHT HERE.
AND YOU'LL
DO ANYTHING...
TO GET RID
OF THIS MOLE.
BECAUSE EVERYBODY
THAT DOESN'T HAVE MOLES...
GOT YOU TO BELIEVE
IT'S REAL UGLY.
SO YOU'D DO ANYTHING.
YOU'D HIDE YOUR FACE.
ANYTHING--
WALK IN BACKWARDS...
YOU'D DO EVERYTHING.
ANYTHING.
THEN ONE DAY...
ONE DAY...
ONE DAY...
MOLES ARE IN.
MOLES ARE IN.
PEOPLE ARE GETTING OU THEIR EYEBROW PENCIL...
MARKING THEM ON,
AND YOU'VE GOT ONE...
NATURALLY--
RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE
OF YOUR FOREHEAD.
YOU'LL KNOW WHAT PRIDE
IS FOR THE FIRST TIME.
FOR THE FIRST TIME.
YOU WHITEYS SCREAMING
ABOUT MISCEGENATION...
AND YOU DONE
WATERED DOWN
EVERY RACE
YOU EVER ATE.
[FINGERS SNAPPING]
HAVE MERCY, BABY.
HAVE MERCY.
HAVE MERCY, HAVE MERCY.
HAVE MERCY!
HAVE MERCY,
BABY.
HAVE MERCY.
HAVE MERCY.
[VOMITING]
[GAGGING SOUNDS]
[WHISTLING STARS
AND STRIPES FOREVER]
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
YOU SICK?
OOH! YOU OUGH TO BE ASHAMED
OF YOURSELF.
COME ON.
HUH?
I SAID COME ON.
YOU GOT ANY
MOUTHWASH? HA HA.
IN THE BATHROOM.
BACK THERE.
RIGHT BACK THERE?
UH-HUH.
WHERE'S COPEE?
AW, HE'S IN JAIL.
HOW COME
HE'S IN JAIL?
HUH?
HOW COME COPEE'S
IN JAIL?
OH, HE HAD ANOTHER
DEMONSTRATION TODAY.
SEEMS LIKE THEY'RE
PUTTING EVERYBODY
IN JAIL NOWADAYS.
[GARGLING]
HMM?
I SAID IT SEEMS LIKE
EVERYBODY'S
GOING TO JAIL NOWADAYS,
ESPECIALLY COPEE.
WHEN DID I HAPPEN?
THIS MORNING.
I DON'T KNOW.
IT ALL JUST SEEMS
SO STRANGE TO ME.
I LOOK AT COPEE
SOMETIMES,
AND I WONDER...
HOW DID WE GE OURSELVES INTO THIS?
WELL, I WAS
MISS SEPIA, 1957.
WHAT'S THAT?
WELL, THAT'S LIKE
MISS AMERICA
OR MISS NEW YORK...
EXCEPT IN COLOR.
THERE'S MY TROPHY
OVER THERE.
WHAT, THIS?
UH-HUH.
FRANCINE MARIE JOHNSON,
MISS SEPIA, 1957.
HA.
MY MOTHER HAD I MADE INTO A LAMP
FOR ME
FOR CHRISTMAS.
I LIKED IT BETTER
WHEN IT WAS A CUP.
HA HA HA.
BUT ANYWAY,
AS I WAS SAYING,
IT SURE HAS BEEN
HARD ON ME SINCE
COPEE TURNED BLACK.
TURNED BLACK?
YEAH. HE WAS
SIOUX INDIAN
FOR TWO YEARS.
AND LITTLE WALTER GEE...
HE GETS SO CONFUSED.
HE DOESN'T KNOW
WHAT TO THINK.
YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT...
I THOUGHT ABOU GOING TO CHICAGO.
MAYBE CALIFORNIA.
GO INTO THE MOVIES OR...
GO ON TV OR SOMETHING.
I'M SURE TIRED
OF DOING HEADS.
DO YOU THINK
I LOOK GOOD ENOUGH
TO BE ON TV?
I THINK YOU LOOK
FANTASTIC.
YEAH, WELL,
YOU WOULDN'T KNOW I BY COPEE.
HE THINKS I SHOULD
BE BLACKER.
THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
WHY IS THA RIDICULOUS?
BECAUSE YOU'RE
BEAUTIFUL.
IT'S JUS THE RED LIGHT.
OHH...
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
OH, WAIT A SECOND.
OH, GOD.
MY HEAD'S KILLING ME.
YOU FEEL ANYTHING?
WELL, YOU HAVEN' GOT A FEVER.
[COUGHS]
WHAT YOU GOT THERE?
EXCEDRIN.
YOU GO A HEADACHE, TOO?
LET HIM HOLD YOU
LET HIM
TOUCH YOU
SOON YOU'LL UNDERSTAND
WHILE HE MAKES YOU
INTO A WOMAN
HE BECOMES
YOUR MAN
THE TENDERNESS
YOU LEARN TO LOVE
AS MEMORIES RUSH
THROUGH YOUR HEAD
YOU'LL MAKE HER FEEL
JUST LIKE A WOMAN
WHILE YOU BECOME
HER MAN
ELGAR.
ELGAR...
THIS DOESN'T MEAN
ANYTHING.
BECAUSE I LOVE COPEE.
LANIE!
HI. COME ON IN.
[HONK]
[HONK]
[CHEERING]
I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND
YOUR SUDDEN INTERES IN THOSE KIND OF PEOPLE,
DEAR.
I MEAN,
WE'RE ALL LIBERALS,
BUT...
OPEN
HYBRIDIZATION--
I'M THEIR LANDLORD
TILL THEY GE RELOCATED.
WELL, I DON' UNDERSTAND.
RED BALL!
OH.
I THINK
THERE'S SOMETHING
THAT YOU SHOULD KNOW,
MOTHER.
WHAT'S THAT, DEAR?
I THINK I LOVE A GIRL
WHO'S A NEGRO.
ELGAR, LET'S GO
FOR A LITTLE DRIVE.
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU.
UH, DADDY...
YES?
WE'RE GOING FOR A DRIVE.
SOMETHING'S COME UP.
ELGAR,
A LOT OF THESE PEOPLE--
NOT ALL--
THERE'S GOOD BLACK PEOPLE
AS WELL AS GOOD WHITE
PEOPLE.
I'VE ALWAYS TAUGH YOU THAT.
BUT SOME
LIVE TO SET TRAPS
FOR RICH WHITE WOMEN.
I'M NOT A RICH
WHITE WOMAN, MOTHER.
I KNOW THAT, DEAR.
I DIDN'T MEAN THAT.
YOU KNOW I DIDN' MEAN THAT.
DIDN'T WE
ALL GO TOGETHER
TO SEE
GUESS WHO'S COMING
TO DINNER?
YEAH.
IT'S JUST, ELGAR,
YOU HAVE TO REALIZE
ALL NEGROES
ARE NOT LIKE THAT.
YOU SOUND LIKE
A SEGREGATIONIST.
I THINK YOU HAVE
A CASTRATION COMPLEX.
YOU HAVE
A CASTRATION COMPLEX.
I CAN'T HAVE ONE.
IT ISN'T PHYSICALLY
POSSIBLE.
A CASTRATION COMPLEX
IS ONE OF THE CROSSES
A LIBERATED FEMALE
MUST BEAR!
YOU THINK
I'M A LIBERATOR,
DEAR?
JOYCE,
YOU ARE A LIBERATED,
AGGRESSIVE, BUTCH
AMERICAN BROAD.
DOESN'T MEAN
I DON'T LOVE YOU.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN,
DEAR?
IT MEANS I'M GOING
TO DO WHAT I WAN WITH MY DAMN LIFE.
SO...
YOU'RE GOING TO MARRY
A NEGRESS. HA HA.
YOU'LL
BE HAPPY TO HEAR
SHE'S VERY LIGHT.
SON, DO ME A FAVOR.
MAKE SURE.
OH, MOTHER.
I DON'T CARE.
DON'T YOU
UNDERSTAND?
WHY DON'T YOU COME
DOWN TO MY HOUSE
AND HELP ME PLAN
WHAT TO DO?
ME, YOUR CASTRATED
MOTHER?
WHAT COULD I POSSIBLY
DO TO HELP?
JUST HELP ME PLAN IT.
YOU CAN PICK OU THE DRAPES, UH,
WALLPAPER,
STUFF LIKE THAT.
HUH?
HUH?
YOU ONLY HAVE TO
ASK, DEAR.
THAT'S ALL YOU'VE
EVER HAD TO DO.
AND DON'T WORRY
ABOUT THAT GIRL, DEAR.
IF SHE'S
PUTTING YOU ON,
SHE'S MOST LIKELY
ONLY JEWISH.
HEYWOOD,
I SHOULDN'T BE LONG.
LET'S GO. LET'S GO.
COME ON. GO ON, GO ON!
[CLANGING]
IF YOU WAN THE POLICE,
THEY GONE ALREADY.
UH...
I BEG YOUR PARDON?
I'M MRS. ENDERS.
OH.
THE LANDLORD'S WIFE?
HA HA HA. WELL,
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
I'M HIS MOTHER.
OH!
HA HA.
I DIDN'T GET YOUR NAME.
MARGE.
JUST CALL ME MARGE.
MARGE.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME,
DEAR?
SAME AS MY SON'S--
ENDERS.
OH.
HA HA HA.
WHAT'S YOUR
FIRST NAME?
JOYCE.
NICE.
WHAT YOU GOT THERE,
JOYCE?
OH...
OH, I WAS JUS BROWSING THROUGH
HOUSE BEAUTIFUL,
AND I CAME ACROSS
THIS MATERIAL
FOR DRAPES.
I THOUGHT I'D DROP OVER
AND MEASURE THE WINDOWS
AND HAVE SOME
MADE UP FOR ELGAR
FOR A HOUSEWARMING
GIFT, BUT...
ISN'T THAT THOUGHTFUL?
I SEW.
YOU DO?
MM-HMM. I MADE
ALL THE DESIGNS
FOR RUBY RANDALL'S
FASHION SHOW A THE ROCK OF AGES.
YOU DID?
MM-HMM. SIT DOWN
AND DRINK YOUR WINE
BEFORE THE ICE CUBES
MELT.
FROM THE LOOKS
OF THIS APARTMENT,
I WOULD SAY
THE WATER COMES IN
SECONDHAND.
[THROATY LAUGHTER]
MMM.
GOOD. VERY GOOD.
TRY THIS.
THIS'LL TEAR
YOUR HEAD OFF.
WHY DOES IT FOAM
LIKE THAT?
IS THAT CARBONATED?
UH-UH.
IT'S JUST RUTHLESS.
IT'S RUTHLESS!
LISTEN, WOULD YOU
LIKE A LITTLE LUNCH?
I GO SOME HAM HOCKS,
SOME GREENS...
I NEVER EAT LUNCH.
IT'S MY OWN DIET.
NEVER.
HONEY...
YOU BETTER SIT DOWN
AND HAVE SOME LUNCH.
HOW YOU WHITE FOLKS
GOING TO DEFEND
YOURSELF
IF YOU DON'T EAT?
HA HA HA HA!
WHAT IS THAT?
POT LIQUOR.
POT? POT LI--
POT. POT LIQUOR.
UH, JUICE
FROM THE GREENS.
OH!
PUTS LEAD
IN YOUR PENCIL.
LEAD IN MY PENCIL?
OH, HO HO!
HA HA HA HA!
HA HA HA HA!
MMM!
OH, BOY.
JOYCE,
YOU COULD GE AT THOSE HOCKS
A LITTLE BETTER
IF YOU TAKE
YOUR GLOVES OFF.
OH, GOD. MY GLOVES!
AH...ACTUALLY,
I'VE TAKEN UP
REIMBODIMENT.
REIMBODIMENT?
WHAT'S THAT?
YOU'LL NEVER
GUESS.
HA.
DON'T COUNT ON IT.
OH, YES!
I HAVE SOMETHING
TO TELL YOU.
I DID SOMETHING
VERY NAUGHTY
THIS MORNING.
YOU DID?
WHAT DID YOU DO?
GUESS.
YOU DIRTIED
ON THE FLOOR.
HA! AH HA!
NO!
NO!
GOD!
WELL, NOW, GIVE ME
TWO MORE GUESSES.
HELL NO!
HOO HOO!
HA HA HA.
HA HA HA.
OHH...
TELL US.
OH, IT'S FUNNY.
WHAT?
I FORGOT...
WHAT I DID THIS MORNING.
ISN'T THAT FUNNY?
IT'S A WONDER YOU REMEMBER
WHERE YOU ARE, HONEY.
YOU ON YOUR
SECOND JUG.
LET ME POUR YOU
ANOTHER LITTLE NIP
HERE.
IT WASN'T IMPORTAN ANYWAY.
NO.
SO, UH...
AS I WAS SAYING.
YOU KNOW...
I WAS VERY...POPULAR
WHEN I WAS YOUNG.
AND ALL THE YOUNG MEN
WERE SO ATTRACTIVE.
OH!
OH, GOD.
AND MY HUSBAND...
TELL US.
I CAN'T REMEMBER
WHICH ONE I MARRIED.
LAST NIGHT I--
I, UH...
[TUNING PIANO]
ELGAR, WHAT'S
BOTHERING YOU?
NOTHING.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
NOTHING?
AH, JUST, UH...
ELGAR, SAY IT.
SHIT.
[SLURRED VOICE]
NOW WHAT IS
THE MATTER?
I FORGOT MY LUCKY
NUMBER AGAIN.
AND YOUR NOTE--
YOUR NOTE IS E-FLAT.
WHOO
MORE. MORE...
WHEN DO I HI THIS NOTE?
YOU HIT I ANYTIME YOU LIKE.
IT'S YOURS.
OOH
OOH
OOH
[STRIKES NOTE]
MMM...MMM.
LISTEN, NOW, NOW,
NOW,
DON'T YOU WORRY
ABOUT IT, BABY.
I'LL MAKE THE DRAPES
AND...
I'LL...
GET THE MATERIAL.
WON'T CHARGE NOTHING
LIKE THE DECORATOR.
I DON'T KNOW HOW
TO THANK YOU. HERE.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
HERE, TAKE THIS
CHARGER PLATE, HONEY.
GET WHAT YOU NEED.
JUST--I--
TAKE...A SWATCH
OF THAT MATERIAL
AND GET WHAT YOU WANT.
I'M GOING HOME. GOD...
WHEREVER THAT IS.
OHH...
WANT ME TO WRAP UP
A COUPLE OF THESE
HAM HOCKS FOR YOU?
UH, NO.
I'LL JUST, UH...
PUT 'EM IN MY BAG.
WELL, ALL RIGHT,
HONEY.
SINCE YOU ENJOYED
THEM SO MUCH.
HERE. TAKE THREE.
I GOT PLENTY MORE.
STAY COOL, MARGE.
MM-HMM. CAN YOU
MAKE IT DOWN?
STAY COOL.
HEY...WOOD!
MY MOUTH IS SO DRY.
WHY IS MY MOUTH
SO DRY?
OHH...
HI.
HI. HOW ARE YOU?
HI. GOT A LO OF RESERVATIONS?
YEAH. WE'RE
GOING TO HAVE A LOT.
GOOD.
ANYTIME YOU LEAVE
PERFUME, LIPSTICK,
ANYTHING LIKE THA AROUND, MAN,
YOU KNOW, LIKE,
NOBODY SEES IT.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.
CHICKS JUST GO BLIND.
TRY, UM, MISS THING.
SHE HAD A DATE
LAST NIGHT.
MISS THING, YOU
SEEN MY PERFUME?
I THINK WE OUGHT TO
CHECK HER POCKETBOOK.
NO, I DON'T THINK
YOU'D BETTER CHECK
MY POCKETBOOK!
GIVE THIS POCKETBOOK
TO ME.
OH, LOOK AT HER.
LISTEN, YOU RAGGEDY ASS
BLACK BITCH,
DON'T YOU MESS WITH ME.
LISTEN,
YOU HIGH-YELLOW
HEIFER,
YOU HAVE TO GE A LOT BLACKER
AND A LOT BADDER
TO STAND THERE
AND CALL ME
A BLACK BITCH.
GET SOMETHING
STRAIGHTENED OUT,
HONEY.
'CAUSE YOU GO ONE OF THEM LITTLE
BLUE-EYED WONDERS
DON'T MEAN
A FUCKING THING
TO ME.
YOU CAN'T ACCOUN FOR 40 HOURS
IN
A 24-HOUR DAY...
YOU BE DIRTY
YOU'RE GONNA BE DIRTY
BABY
YEAH, YEAH
YOU BE DIRTY
YOU'RE GONNA BE DIRTY
BABY
WHOA, YEAH
YOU BE DIRTY
WHAT KIND OF MAN
ARE YOU?
BABY
DO ME, DO ME RIGHT
WHAT KINDA MAN ARE YOU
BABY
TO STAY OU ALL NIGHT LONG?
YOU'RE EARLY.
YEAH.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
HUH?
NOTHING.
NOTHING.
NOTHING?
WHAT, UH...
I QUIT MY JOB.
YOU QUIT YOUR JOB?
THAT'S RIGHT.
WHAT ARE YOU
GOING TO DO?
I DON'T KNOW WHA I'M GOING TO DO,
ELGAR.
I JUST DON'T KNOW,
SO LEAVE ME ALONE!
HEY, W-WHAT HAPPENED?
DID SOMETHING HAPPEN?
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
GOING TO TELL ME
WHAT'S WRONG?
[THE STAR-SPANGLED BANNER
PLAYS]
SO, MY DEAR,
IF WE CAN RAISE
150,000 FOR LAURA'S
THING NEXT MONTH,
WE'VE GOT THE COOPERATION
OF ST. ANDREWS
AND THAT WHOLE BUNCH.
JOYCE, DARLING,
LILY'S BEING MOVED
TO MERCY HOSPITAL.
IT LOOKS VERY BAD.
IT'S A MATTER
OF TIME.
OH, POOR LILY!
I DON'T SEE WHA THAT HAS TO DO
WITH IT.
SHE'S NO ON THE COMMITTEE.
I KNOW, BUT IF LILY
PASSES AWAY, DEAR,
THE FUNERAL WILL BE
AN ABSOLUTE MESS.
JOYCE, ISN'T THA ELGAR COMING IN?
OH, THANK GOD.
ELGAR!
ELGAR.
UH, ELGAR!
WHAT IS THIS
COSTUME?
DID YOU COME
ALL THE WAY HERE
TO EMBARRASS ME?
WHO IS THAT?
IS THA BUNNY OLIVER?
NO, MOTHER,
THIS IS LANIE.
I TOLD YOU ABOU LANIE.
WHAT DID YOU
TELL ME?
THAT I THOUGH I WAS IN LOVE.
COME MEE MR. AND MRS. DORY
AND THEIR DAUGHTER
ALL THE WAY
FROM VIRGINIA.
EXCUSE ME, DEAR.
SO NICE TO MEET YOU.
MOTHER,
SCREW MR. AND MRS. DORY
AND THEIR DAUGHTER,
AND SCREW VIRGINIA!
MOTHER, YOUR COMMITTEE
IS WAIVING COCKTAILS.
I THINK THINGS ARE
FALLING APART.
OH, MY GOD!
ELGAR, I'M SO GLAD
YOU CAME.
YEAH, HI, SUSU.
HOW ARE YOU?
THIS IS LANIE.
THIS IS MY SISTER
SUSAN.
DIVINE.
HELLO.
ELGAR, PETER'S HERE.
HE'S MARVELOUS,
AND HE'S DYING
TO SEE YOU.
WHERE THE HELL IS HE?
ELGAR.
HEY, WILLIAM JR.
WE'RE LOOKING
FOR OSCAR.
HAVE YOU SEEN
OSCAR?
THE ONE WHO
CARRIES THE FLAG.
I DON'T KNOW AN OSCAR.
LISTEN, I WANT YOU
TO MEET--
DORIS, I WANT YOU TO--
ELGAR.
OH, YES.
SCOTCH AND SODA
ON THE ROCKS.
YOU WANT SOMETHING?
ELGAR, IT'S PETER!
PETER BO JANGLES COON.
OH. DO A LITTLE
DANCE FOR US.
AND YOU'RE
SHIRLEY TEMPLE,
RIGHT?
YEAH,
I'M SHIRLEY TEMPLE.
ELGAR, PETER AND I
ARE ENGAGED.
OH, CONGRATULATIONS.
PETER--
SUSAN.
SUSAN, STOP THA EXHIBITION.
[SUSAN]
WE'RE GOING OU FOR A SMOKE.
ENJOY YOURSELVES.
DAD. DAD!
DAD?
HUH?
I WANT YOU
TO MEET LANIE.
THIS IS MY FATHER.
HOW DO YOU DO?
HOW DO YOU DO?
ISN'T THAT A GREA COSTUME HE'S GOT ON?
THANK YOU.
UH, YOURS, TOO.
WELL, BEFORE YOU
GET TOO DRUNK,
I WANT TO TALK
TO YOU.
IF YOU'LL
EXCUSE US, DEAR.
CERTAINLY.
WE'LL FIND A PLACE
WITH LESS NOISE.
DAD, WAIT A SECOND.
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
NO, NO, COME ON--
I TOOK A DRIVE
PAST THAT HOUSE OF YOURS
IN THAT DREADFUL SLUM,
AND UPON INVESTIGATING
YOUR RENT RECORDS--
IF YOU CAN CALL THEM
RECORDS--
I DISCOVERED
THAT YOU, UH...
GET NO REN FROM THOSE HOODLUMS.
YEAH, DAD. I, UH--
THERE'S ONE SUBLE THAT GOES UNDER
THE DUBIOUS TITLE
OF THE CUMBERSONS
WHO HASN'T PAID REN IN OVER A YEAR.
THEY'RE AN ELDERLY
COUPLE.
THEY HAVE NO FUNDS,
NO RELATIONS--
SON, I THINK YOU
HAVEN'T GOT THE GUTS
TO ASK THEM
FOR THE RENT.
THEY'RE TOO OLD
AND SICK TO EVEN
COME OUTSIDE, DAD.
IS THAT SO?
YEAH.
ARE YOU SURE
YOU'RE NOT JUST AFRAID?
I MEAN, IN CASE
YOU ASK THEM
FOR SOME OF
THAT BACK RENT,
MAYBE TWO MONTHS' WORTH,
THAT THEY MIGHT NOT RIO AND BURN THAT ROACH TRAP
DOWN?
ALL RIGHT, DAD.
LET'S SEE
HOW HEARTLESS
YOU CAN REALLY BE.
YOU'RE SO TOUGH,
RIGHT?
YOU LISTEN
TO THAT OLD MAN'S
POOR, PATHETIC VOICE
AND DEMAND MONEY
FROM HIM.
WE'RE GOING TO HAVE
A CIVILIZED CONVERSATION
ABOUT THE ISSUES
OF THIS DISGUSTING
BUSINESS VENTURE.
THERE'S GOT TO BE
LAW AND ORDER.
NOW SIT DOWN.
NO, I'M NO GOING TO SIT DOWN,
GENERAL, UH...
W-WHATEVER THE HELL
YOUR NAME IS
WITH YOUR FRUIT SALAD
AND EVERYTHING.
MARGE? WILL YOU TRY
AND GET MR. CUMBERSON
TO THE PHONE, PLEASE?
I'M--
WHAT?
OH, NO, NO!
ARE THEY DEAD?
OH, HOLY SHIT.
UH...
YEAH.
I'LL BE RIGHT OVER.
SON OF A--
HEY, DID THE JOIN BURN DOWN?
HEY, MAN...
FOR YOUR TROUBLES.
MARGE?
HI, SUGAR.
WHAT HAPPENED
TO, UH, THE...
WELL, I--I THINK
THE CUMBERSONS
GOT A NEW LEASE
ON LIFE
OR SOMETHING,
AND THEY'RE GONE. THEY--
THE RADIATORS.
WHERE ARE THE RADIATORS?
YOU DIDN'T WAN THOSE OLD RADIATORS
ANYHOW.
A JUNKMAN CAN GET YOU
PLENTY OF RADIATORS.
OH, BEAUTIFUL.
THEY TOOK THE STOVE!
THAT--THAT--
W-WHY NOT?
WHY NOT TAKE
THE STOVE?
PLACE LOOKS LIKE
A DAMN TOMB.
I JUST CAME OU THE CAN...AGAIN.
I BEEN FIGHTING
THE MAN OUT HERE
IN THE STREETS
SINCE I WAS 7.
I CAME OU THE HOUSE AND
SMELLED PAINT.
HE'S FIXING
HIS PLACE.
HE'S FIXING
HIS PLACE
IN A PLACE
WHERE THERE'S
POOR PEOPLE
SITTING OUT HERE
IN THE STREET.
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS]
TA-DA!
HI.
UH-UH! NO, NO, NO!
STAY THERE. STAY THERE.
I HAVE GO A SURPRISE FOR YOU.
LISTEN, HONEY,
LET ME TURN THIS
DOWN A SMIDGEN.
YEAH. COME ON,
WHAT YOU GOT THERE?
HOW DO YOU LIKE
THAT?
OH, YEAH!
THAT'S WILD.
RECOGNIZE ANYBODY?
AND I GO SOMETHING ELSE.
IT'S LITTLE,
BUT KIND OF SPECIAL.
I HOPE YOU LIKE IT.
OH, GEE, HON,
I CAN'T GET OVER EVERYTHING.
I REALLY CAN'T.
IT'S LIKE
I TOLD YOU--
A LITTLE PAIN AND SOME CURTAINS
AND...
WELL...
A FEW THOUSAND
DOLLARS.
AND YOU GOT YOURSELF
A REAL NICE PLACE.
HEY, YOU DIDN'T EVEN
OPEN UP MY GIFT.
IT'S AN EGG!
THAT'S RIGHT.
UH...COULD
YOU TELL ME
WHERE I MIGH FIND MR. ENDERS?
THE LANDLORD LIVES
IN THE BASEMENT,
LADY.
HI, MOTHER.
HOW ARE YOU?
COME ON IN.
ELGAR, I WANT THIS
ENTIRE POVERTY PROGRAM
THAT YOU'RE ON DROPPED.
UH, MOTHER, YOU--
NO, NO. I WANT YOU
OUT OF HERE
WITHIN THE WEEK.
MOTHER, YOU WILL
NOT WALK INTO MY HOUSE
AND ORDER ME ABOUT.
AND ANOTHER THING--
TELL THAT MARGE
UPSTAIRS
I WANT MY CHARGER
PLATE BACK.
WHAT CHARGER PLATE?
DON'T YOU
CHARGER PLATE ME.
THAT'S MY DRAPERY
MATERIAL!
SHE'S OUTFITTED
THE ENTIRE
PLANTATION.
MOTHER,
DON'T CALL THIS
A PLANTATION.
YOU DUMB CLUCK.
WHAT?
YOU REALLY AREN' CONCERNED, ARE YOU,
THAT YOU WALKED
BOLDLY
INTO THE
SPINAL MENINGITIS
SUMMER FESTIVAL BALL
AT WHICH I BEGGED
YOU--
I BEGGED YOU TO COME
IN A COSTUME
OF A DEAD
AMERICAN HERO!
WELL, SUSU CAME DRESSED
AS SHIRLEY TEMPLE.
SUSU DID NOT COME
AS SHIRLEY TEMPLE.
SHE CAME AS
LITTLE EVA!
ALL RIGHT.
I'M NOT GOING TO
ARGUE WITH YOU.
I'M NOT GOING TO
ARGUE WITH YOU.
LOOK AT YOU.
LOOK AT YOU.
WHY DON'T YOU
CUT YOUR HAIR?
ELGAR, YOU LOOK
LIKE A FLOOZY.
MOTHER, IN ABOU TWO SECONDS,
I'M GOING TO
REALLY LOSE
MY TEMPER,
AND I'M GOING TO
THROW YOUR ASS
OUT OF HERE.
O.K.,
WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU NOW?
NOTHING.
DON'T PAY ANY ATTENTION.
GO RIGHT ON
WITH WHAT YOU WERE SAYING.
MMM.
JOYCE, IF YOUR HEAR DOESN'T ATTACK YOU
IN A FEW MINUTES,
I WILL.
ATTACK ME?
WHAT--DO YOU MEAN--
DO YOU MEAN
SEXUALLY, YOU PERVERT?
I'M YOUR MOTHER!
O.K., LADY, GO ON.
OUT! GET OUT!
WHAT HAVE THEY DONE
TO YOU?
WHAT HAVE THEY DONE
TO ME?
I'LL TELL YOU WHA THEY'VE DONE TO ME,
MOTHER.
FOR ONE THING, AS I'M SURE
YOU'VE ALREADY NOTICED,
I'VE RUN AWAY FROM HOME!
I'M 29 YEARS OLD,
AND I HAVE RUN AWAY
FROM HOME.
DOESN'T THA STRIKE YOU AS BEING
JUST A LITTLE SICK?
YOU--YOU--
ELGAR WINTHROP
JULIUS ENDERS,
YOU NO LONGER
HAVE A MOTHER.
THANKS.
DO YOU THINK
THE LADY
COULD EXCUSE US
FOR A MINUTE,
LANDLORD?
WHAT FOR?
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
EXCEDRIN HEADACHE
NUMBER ONE.
LAY YOUR KINKY,
WOOLLY HEAD
ON YOUR MAMMY'S BREAST
AAH!
COPEE?
COPEE,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
TRYING TO FILL OU THIS APPLICATION,
GO DOWNTOWN
AND GET SOME MONEY
FOR THE WHITE LANDLORD.
COPEE,
I GOT TO TALK TO YOU.
WHAT?
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
WHAT'S THE MATTER,
BABY?
HA HA HA HA.
COPEE, I'M PREGNANT.
YOU'RE WHAT?
I'M PREGNANT.
I TOLD YOU
DON'T COME TO ME
LIKE THAT.
WHAT IS IT WE CAN DO?
WHAT IS I CAN WE DO ABOUT IT?
YOU GOING TO HAVE A BABY
IN HOW MANY MONTHS?
HOW MANY MONTHS, BABY?
HMM?
HOW MANY MONTHS
PREGNANT ARE YOU?
COPEE, IT AIN' YOUR BABY.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
IT'S NOT MY BABY?
IT JUST AIN'T YOUR BABY,
HONEY.
YOU MEAN TO TELL ME
THAT SOMEBODY ELSE
HAS BEEN SLEEPING
IN MY BED
WHILE I'M GONE?
I'LL BE GODDAMNED!
WHAT DO YOU WAN TO DO THAT FOR?
WHO WAS IT?
FANNY?
OH, LEAVE ME ALONE!
I SAID WHO WAS IT?
ANSWER ME!
WHOSE BABY IS IT?
WHOSE BABY IS IT?
WHOSE BABY IS IT?
[MUFFLED YELLING]
COPEE!
COPEE!
AAH!
COPEE, DON'T!
YOU LITTLE BITCH!
NO! MAMA! MAMA!
AAH!
SOMEONE, HELP!
HELP, SOMEBODY!
FANNY!
COPEE!
COPEE!
COPEE!
COPEE!
COPEE, DON'T!
COPEE, DON'T!
AAH!
LET ME IN!
SOMEBODY, LET ME IN!
COME ON! LET ME IN!
LET ME IN!
COME ON!
OPEN THIS DOOR!
OPEN IT! COME ON!
LET ME IN! LET ME IN!
LET ME IN!
MOM! DAD!
GO BACK!
GO BACK,
WALTER GEE!
LET ME IN!
LET ME IN!
COPEE, PLEASE!
[AX DROPS]
COPEE?
COPEE?
COPEE.
WAIT.
WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
AAH!
HEY!
WAIT.
MY MAMA.
MY MAMA.
ALL...ALL BUT ONE...
HAD BLUE EYES.
YES, I KNOW, COPEE.
UNCLE HARRY
HAD GOOD HAIR.
CHRIST HAS NEVER KNOWN
THE HORROR OF NAPPY HAIR
IN AMERICA.
YES, COPEE, YES.
IT ISN'T ENOUGH
I HAVE JUST BEEN A JEW.
I HAVE BEEN
A BLACK JEW.
HMM?
D-DON'T--
D-DON'T LET THEM
TRANSPLANT MY HEAR TILL I'M DEAD.
NO, COPEE.
NO, I WON'T.
I WON'T LET THEM,
UH-UH.
I WON'T LET THEM.
HEY, BOY.
[ENGINE STARTS]
I HAVE A NEW TENAN FOR YOU.
THAT SOUNDS GREAT.
THANKS.
BACHELOR NUMBER ONE,
WHAT'S THE CRUMMIEST THING
YOU'VE EVER DONE
ON A DATE?
I LOST MY GIRLFRIEND.
I MEAN--
WE WENT TO DISNEYLAND,
AND WE WENT ON
MR. TOAD'S WILD RIDE.
WE WERE GOING
BUMPY BUMPY BUMP.
SHE BUMPED
OUT OF THE CAR.
I PICKED HER UP,
THOUGH.
[LAUGHTER]
BACHELOR...
BACHELOR NUMBER THREE...
I'M JUS GOING TO STAY RIGHT HERE.
THAT'S WHAT I SHOULD DO--
TO BE WITH HER...
MAKE SURE EVERYTHING,
YOU KNOW...
EVERYTHING WILL BE O.K.
THIS IS WHY
YOU HAVEN'T CALLED ME?
YEAH.
YOU KNOW--DON'T LOOK
AT ME LIKE THAT, O.K.?
WHY?
WHY WHAT?
WHY? WHY HAVE YOU
DONE ALL OF THIS?
BECAUSE I'M A BASTARD,
ALL RIGHT?
I LOVE YOU, ELGAR.
CAN I HELP YOU, SIR?
I HAVE LUNCH MONEY
FOR WALTER GEE COPEE.
IN THE BASEMENT.
MOVING FORWARD.
LUNCH PUNCH.
SHIFT!
HEAVE!
CHARGE!
STEPPING BACK.
SHIFT!
HEAVE!
CHARGE!
SHIFT!
HEAVE!
SHIFT!
FREE!
HA HA HA HA HA--
MR. COPEE,
YOUR WIFE AND NEW SON
ARE JUST FINE.
COPEE?
COPEE?
I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT.
YOU DON'T HAVE
TO SEE HIM.
I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT.
ELGAR, I LOVE COPEE.
I CAN'T TAKE
THE BABY HOME TO HIM.
I WON'T DO THAT TO HIM.
IT'S NOT FAIR, ELGAR.
I THINK YOU OUGH TO GET SOME REST,
O.K.?
THEN I'LL BE BACK.
WOULD YOU TAKE
THE BABY?
I CAN'T.
WHAT AM I
GOING TO DO
WITH A BABY?
THINK IT WOULD BE
ALL RIGH IF I PUT IT UP
FOR ADOPTION?
I GUESS SO.
WELL...
THAT'S WHA I'M GOING TO DO.
I WANT ONE THING,
THOUGH.
WHAT'S THAT?
I WANT HIM ADOPTED
AS WHITE.
O.K.
WHY?
'CAUSE I WANT HIM
TO GROW UP CASUAL,
LIKE HIS DADDY.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
COME IN.
MR. ENDERS?
I WANT TO PAY YOU
YOUR RENT.
ALL RENT IS TO BE PAID
TO MR. AND MRS. COPEE
FROM NOW ON.
REALLY?
THAT'S RIGHT.
REMINDS ME OF THE MAN
WHO PUT A BLACK FAMILY
IN TO WORK A STORE...
FOOL THE NEIGHBORS.
I GAVE THIS HOUSE
TO MRS. COPEE
BECAUSE I DON'T NEED IT.
DID SHE NEED
ANOTHER BABY, TOO,
MR. ENDERS?
YOU'RE AN EVIL
SON OF A BITCH.
HOWEVER, EVIL AS I AM,
I'LL PUT THIS REN UNDER THE COPEES' DOOR.
NO SCHOOL TODAY,
PROFESSOR DUBOISE?
YES,
THERE'S SCHOOL TODAY,
MR. ENDERS,
HOWEVER,
I WON'T INVITE YOU
TO COME AND AUDI A CLASS.
I DARE YOU.
WOULD YOU FIND
YOURSELF A SEAT,
PLEASE, MR. ENDERS?
MR. ENDERS,
OVER THERE.
WE'VE ALL HAD
OUR BREAKFAST TODAY,
SO YOU'LL BE
COMPARATIVELY SAFE.
NOW...LAURA ANNE...
DEFINE
RELATIVE KNOWLEDGE.
THE PRINCIPLE
THAT KNOWLEDGE IS RELATED,
RELATIVE TO THE LIMITED
NATURE OF THE MIND
AND CONDITIONS OF KNOWING
AND, THEREFORE,
NOT TRUE TO THE NATURE
OF INDEPENDENT REALITY.
GENE...
WHAT IS A TRIANGLE?
A FIGURE
FORMED BY THREE LINES,
INTERSECTING BY TWOS
IN THREE POINTS
AND SO FORMING
THREE ANGLES.
ALL RIGHT.
ERNEST,
LAW AND ORDER.
WHITE POLICE,
SOLDIERS, GUNS,
MACE, OBEYING
THE WHITE ESTABLISHMENT.
NOW, CHILDREN,
HOW DO WE LIVE?
ELGAR?
I AM BLACK,
AND I AM BEAUTIFUL.
JAMES.
I AM BLACK,
AND I AM BEAUTIFUL.
MALCOLM.
I AM BLACK,
AND I AM BEAUTIFUL.
LOUISE.
I AM BLACK,
AND I AM BEAUTIFUL.
MR. ENDERS...
SEE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
SOME PEOPLE CAN'T LEARN
WHAT WE LEARN.
'CAUSE THEY CAN'T STOP
WHAT MEN DO
AND THAT'S WHY, LORD
I CALL ON YOU
THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW
THEY DON'T KNOW
HOW TO SIN
THESE ARE TROUBLED TIMES
THAT WE'RE LIVIN' IN
YES, SIR
WHEN CHILDREN FALL
CHILDREN CRY
AND, YES, LORD
SOME WILL DIE
AND THAT'S WHY
I GOT TO SAY
LORD
LORD
LORD
LORD
LORD
GOD
BLESS THE CHILDREN
GOD
BLESS THE CHILDREN
TEACH US HOW TO LOVE
LIKE NEVER BEFORE
AND MAY WE
NEVER, NEVER, NEVER
STUDY WAR NO MORE
TALK TO THE HEART
OF THE MEN WHO NEED IT
AND MAKE THEM UNDERSTAND
RIGHT NOW, LORD...
[HONKING]
LANIE!
LANIE!
[HONKING]
LANIE!
LANIE!
[HONKING]
LORD
LORD
LORD
LORD
LORD...
LANIE!
LANIE!
BLESS THE CHILDREN
GOD
BLESS THE CHILDREN
SO MANY TIMES...
LANIE!
COME ON DOWN!
[HORN HONKS]
WE GOT TROUBLE
IT WON'T LAST,
NO WAY...
YOU SHUT YOUR ASS!
I'M NOT SAYIN'
THAT THIS THING IS WRONG
BUT I'M WONDERIN'
RIGHT NOW
HOW COME
IT'S GOTTEN BAD SO LONG?
TO SEE A NEWBORN BABY
IN SOME
PROUD MOTHER'S ARMS
THEN YOU THINK
OF ALL THE COUNTRIES
THAT NOW HAVE A GUN
AND YOU
JUST GOT TO SAY
LORD
LORD
COME ON!
LORD
LORD
GOD
BLESS THE CHILDREN
MMM
GOD
BLESS THE CHILDREN
SAY I A LITTLE BIT LOUDER
GOD
BLESS THE CHILDREN
SAY IT ONE MORE TIME
GOD...
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
MGM/UA HOME VIDEO, INC.