1
- [ Disco]
- [ Phone Line Ringing]
- [ Man] Hello?
- [ Woman] Hi, honey. It's me.
- [ Continues]
- I went to see the doctor today.
'Cause ever since you've been gone,
I had a pain deep down inside.
- [ Women Vocalizing]
- He says there's nothing really wrong with me.
I'm just missing my man.
So, honey, please...
come on home as soon as you can.
Doctor's orders
Say there's only one thing for me
Nothing he can do
'Cause only you can cure me
Says in my condition
I heard you have a much better chance
of getting in if you come by cab.
- You're really worried about getting in?
- Yes.
I thought you'd been here
several times before.
Not the front way.
They were private parties. We came in the back.
We look really good tonight.
I'm sure we're gonna get in.
- [ Continues]
- [ Chattering]
[ Man]
Van.
- [ Woman] Van.
- [ Man] Van, here.
Let's get a cab.
Maybe you're right.
When we get out, don't stop where the crowd is.
Just follow me right in.
- When we get out, we just follow you in.
- Yeah.
- Why don't you put this on.
- What?
- Just until we get inside.
- I don't get it.
- [ Man] Van. Right here.
- [ Man #2] Here, Van.
[ Continues]
Uh, we're all together.
- Van.
- Only him.
We're together.
Come on, Van. This is important.
These are my friends.
You can go in, but they'll have to wait.
Hey, nice coat.
[ Continues]
Don't worry, Jimmy. We don't care.
- I can't believe it.
- Yeah. What an asshole.
You know, that had nothing to do with you guys.
Van just wanted to put me in my place.
- Apparently it happens all the time.
- Jerk.
- It's happened to you before?
- No, but it was overdue.
- None of us really wanted to go anyway.
- Yeah. We're exhausted.
No, I really wanted to go.
[ Continues]
There's Jimmy Steinway.
I can't believe it.
He's already leaving?
You like him?
I could never be interested
in anyone who worked in advertising.
God, you were right.
This place has gotten really hard to get into.
Who's the other guy
you were interested in?
[ Continues]
Doctor's orders
Say there's only one thing for me
[ Chuckling ]
Oh, God. We made it.
This is the last time I'm coming here.
I always wanted to be able to say I got into the club.
Of course we got in.
Who's the second guy you were interested in?
- Tom Platt.
- Oh, well, that's a lot better.
- How do you mean?
- Well, Tom Platt's smart and somewhat cool.
A lawyer involved in environmental causes.
Not to mention tall, dark and handsome.
Every daY
A lovin' spoonful to be taken
It's the only way
To stop this empty heart of mine
from breakin'
Won't get better
- Till you're back again
- [ Man] Nina. Please, stop.
- He told me
- Nma.
Doctor's orders
- l need your loving arms
- [ Sobbing ]
Nina.
- Please, stop. Wh -
- [ Continues, Faint]
[Van ]
McGrath.
- Nina.
- [Van ] Come back here!
It's not what you think. I -
I think I'm gay.
What?
It's not possible.
[ Sobs, ]
How?
It's always been there, I guess.
I've only begun to acknowledge it now.
You really think you're gay?
- [ Man] Thanks.
- [ Man #2] Thank you.
I was just starting law school when the first
up-tempo Philadelphia International hits broke.
Some people don't consider that disco,
because it's good...
but I remember feeling
absolutely electrified.
- You feel electrified often.
- No, but this was different.
I loved the idea that there'd be all these
great places for people to go dancing...
after the terrible social wasteland
of our college years.
- [ Groans ]
- You've been to a lot of discos?
No. In fact, practically none.
For me, law school wasn't easy...
and I haven't had much of a social life
since coming to the city either, but...
I still consider myself a loyal adherent
to the disco movement.
- It's a movement?
- Sort of.
What I found terribly encouraging
was the idea...
that when the time in life came
to have a social life...
there'd be all these great places
for people to go to...
because, as you'll remember,
for many years, there were none.
- Yeah.
- What I didn't realize...
is that they'd get
so impossible to get into.
- [Man] Let's call it a night.
- No. Wait. I have an idea.
[ Man]
Hey, Jimmy. Here. Take this.
- [ Man #2] Jimmy.
- Thanks.
Jimmy.
[ Chattering ]
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Oh, you're Des's friend.
- Yeah. Hi.
[ Car Door Closes ]
Where are Marshall and Steve?
They've gone back to the hotel.
Jimmy, come on.
- I can't believe it.
- Jimmy. Let's go.
[ Disco]
- Your body, my body,
- They wanted me to apologize for them.
- They were really bushed.
- What a disaster.
- No.
- Everybody move your body)
- I can't believe it.
- Wow.
Everybody work your body
Your body, my body
Everybody work your body
- Do you like nightmares?
- No.
Well, I do.
It's not obviously connected, but...
I think that's what made me a little more
tolerant of the guys at Hampshire.
- What do you mean?
- You were a bit critical.
The guys there preferred women
more laid-back.
I'm laid-back.
Well, for whatever reason,
you didn't have much of a social life there.
I had a social life.
Just not one of those
terrible pretend marriages.
The Hampshire guys were jerks -
hippie-dippie suburbanites with all this hair...
and extremely dim intellectual interests.
I'm sorry. I don't consider the guy who did
the Spider-Man comics a serious writer.
Alice, one thing I've noticed
is that people hate being criticized.
Everyone hates that.
It's one of the great truths of human nature.
- [ Toilet Flushes ]
- I think it's why my parents got divorced.
I'm sorry. It's just that you're so terrific,
it makes me sick to think...
you might get in that terrible situation again,
where everyone hated you.
- Hated me?
- You're wonderful.
- [ Continues ]
- Maybe, in physical terms...
I'm a little cuter than you...
but you should be
much more popular than I am.
It'd be such a shame if what happened
in college repeated itself.
- [New Disco Song Starts ]
- Why would it repeat itself?
You're right.
I just think it's so important
to be in control of your own destiny.
Not to fall into that '50s clich
of waiting by the phone for guys to call.
The right ones never do.
Those who do, you have to make
the most ridiculous excuses to.
The nice ones get hurt feelings
and hate you.
The jerks inevitably corner you
into going out anyway.
Late at night you find yourself with
some awful guy with disgusting breath...
thrusting his belly up against you, trying to
stick his slobbering tongue in your mouth.
[ Groans ]
Thank God this is a whole new era
in music and social models.
[ Continues]
- Oh, what, wow,
- We're in complete control.
- He's the greatest dancer,
- Look down.
- Oh, what, wow,
- There are a lot of choices out there.
One night in a disco
on the outskirts of Frisco 'P
[ Man] Fantastic. This place is better
than I could have imagined.
It's too bad Steve and Marshall didn't come.
They really would have loved this.
- Don't worry about it. So what?
- So stupid.
I'm sure it's Jimmy.
I think it's much better to wait
until things happen naturally.
- Forcing things never works.
- That's not true.
Forcing things usually works beautifully.
You know, even if he's in advertising,
someone will want him.
I just think it's so important
that we be in control of our own destinies.
It doesn't matter.
Marshall's a really good guy.
He doesn't really care
about this kind of stuff.
- I can't believe it.
- He is the greatest dancer
Uh, excuse me.
Has anyone ever told you you look
just like Kate Preston's brother Rod?
- Who?
- Rod Preston.
- Do you know him?
- Uh, no.
[ Chuckles ]
Have you ever noticed...
how people who look just alike
never seem to know each other?
- [ Song Changes]
- Huh.
- Hi.
- Hey. How you been?
Fine. How are you?
- He's really depressed.
- God, isn't this place great?
It's fantastic. I love it.
- I really like this song.
- Yeah.
Do you like to dance?
- W-W-Would you?
- Sure.
Great. Should we all go?
L-I think he's too depressed to dance.
Hey, Jimmy. We're gonna dance.
Come on.
I'm - I'm too depressed to dance.
Go ahead.
Wrapped in your arms
is where I want to be
- I want to be,
- Want to be
- What's wrong?
- Absolute disaster.
- What?
- I had to get some clients into the club...
so I gave the boss my coat to wear.
Here. Wear this.
[ Scoffs ]
It was really stupid.
I can't believe what an idiot I am.
- Why? Your coat's nice.
- Well, that's just it. It is nice.
But this guy's - Marshall's -
clothes are hideous.
It's famous. But to give him my coat
to put over them - so stupid.
It's just really stupid.
It's not stupid.
The club is really hard to get into.
It was unbelievably, incredibly dumb.
He's a really nice guy,
and I insulted him.
And this nice guy that I stupidly insulted
is basically my boss.
God! It was really stupid.
I guess you're right.
It was pretty stupid.
So why should I be ashamed
Uh, can I get you a drink?
Yeah. Thanks.
If we lose our love, it's a shame
Ooh, wouldn't want to live with the pain
Gonna stay fore very,
[ Continues, Faint]
Des, you're a wonderful man.
[ Sniffles ]
Take care of yourself, Des.
[ Continues, Faint]
Okay, Van. What's up?
- Get that ad guy friend of yours out of there.
- [ Woman] Van.
What do you mean?
When I turned him away
with a group of his clients...
he snuck around back,
where you let them in.
I didn't let 'em in.
They're inside.
Rick just saw them.
- Is this really important?
- I'm not out here on jerk patrol...
just so that you can
let them in the back way.
Bernie promised me he'd fire you
if that guy's in the club.
I can't believe that.
You made Bernie promise to fire me?
You really think Bernie keeps his promises?
[ Continues]
A w, freak out,
Le Freak, dest chm
Freak out
A w, freak out,
Le Freak, dest chm
- I need to see Bernie.
- [ Man ] Bernie is not around.
He's pretty mad, Des. Van told him
you were letting people in the back again.
When you let people in the back,
is a cover being charged?
- 'Cause that money should be coming here. - Of
course we're not charging a cover in the back. God.
Big fun to be had by everyone
It's up to you
It surely can be done
Bernie?
This thing that Van is saying about you promising
to fire me if Jimmy Steinway's in the club -
- That isn't true, is it?
- No, it's true. I can confirm that.
- This Jimmy Steinway I don't want in the club.
- Why?
- Allow us
- Come here.
We'll show you the way
Aw, freak out;
Le Freak, dest chm
You promised to quit
letting friends in the back.
No. You said we could still
let in people from the list.
Don't contradict me, Des.
I don't want a lot of ad people in the club...
particularly not this guy.
Well, I didn't let him in.
If Van didn't either, then he's not in the club.
Did I ever tell you my first job
was in advertising at Y&R?
In those days, the big thing
was to be nice to everybody -
to the secretaries,
to the media department...
to the art director, to the client.
- Well, I don't think it's that way now.
- I don't care.
I don't want that element in the club.
Jimmy is, like, my best friend.
And you've been a good friend to him, Des...
but this Jimmy is not a good friend to you.
He's out of control.
He's an egomaniac.
- Jimmy.
- Where were you? What a nightmare.
Listen. I don't how you got in,
but you better go.
- What?
- This way.
- You're asking me to leave?
- Van has gone crazy.
He made Bernie promise to fire me
if he found you here.
Bernie hates ad agency people.
It's nuts.
I can't believe it.
That's like something out of the Nazis.
Come on. I will get you back on the list,
but tonight it's best if you go.
- Could I at least go tell my client that I've gotta go?
- No.
Please.
Tell him I got ejected.
His name is Hap.
- Okay.
- And that's for this irritating girl...
who's occupying my booth - Alice.
[ Des]
She's irritating? I thought she seemed nice.
- [Jimmy] You know her?
- Well, she's been here two times before.
- How is she irritating?
- I can't believe it.
- You're really gonna throw me out?
- Yeah.
[ Song Changes]
Thanks, Des.
You've really been a good friend to me.
[ Continues]
Hey. What happened?
It's okay.
Everybody dance
Do-do-do
Clap your hands
- Clap your hands
- [Woman ] Hi, Sandro.
Everybody dance
- [Man] Think we 'll get in?
- This usually works.
Everybody dance, do-do-do
- Clap your hands, clap your hands
- Des, I think we need to talk.
Yeah. There's something
I have to talk to you about.
Do-do-do, clap your hands
Clap your hands
Music never lets you down
Puts a smile on your face
Anytime, anyplace
Dancin' helps relieve the pain
Soothes your mind
- Whoo!
- Makes you happy again
Listen to those dancin' feet;
Close your eyes and let go
- I think Tom's here.
- Really?
- Tom Platt.
- If it aint got that swing
Bop shoo-op, bop shoo-opJ
Bop shoo-op
Everybody dance
Do-do-do, clap your hands
Clap your hands
Everybody dance
Do-do-do, clap your hands
Clap your hands
Everybody dance
- [ Growls ]
- Do-do-do, clap your hands
Clap your hands
Everybody dance
Do-do-do, clap your hands
Clap your hands
Spinning all around the floor
Just like Rogers and Astaire
Hoof all night without a care
Strutting to our favourite tune
The good times always end too soon
Everybody's dancin'
- [New Disco Song]
- [Alice ] Who's she?
They call her Tiger Lady.
- It's actually a cheetah pattern she's wearing.
- At some point she wore a tiger pattern.
It's always something very slinky and sexy.
- You consider her sexy?
- Yeah.
- Here. A banquette.
- Where's Jimmy?
- I don't know. He went to get drinks.
- What would you like?
- Uh, vodka tonic.
- Me too.
[ Hap]
I'll go with you.
Ever since I was six years old or so,
I sensed I was somehow. - .
Different.
Then every time you made love to me...
- you must have wanted to vomit.
- No.
No, no.
You're beautiful.
You don't have to be some...
sweaty, horny, hetero he-ape...
to admire and-and appreciate female beauty.
[ Sniffs ]
Only very, very recently
did the final realization come.
Exactly when did
the final realization come?
Two days ago.
I get up late and usually turn on the TV,
sort of as a reflex.
Wednesday afternoon there was a rerun -
[ Sniffs ]
Of Wild Kingdom, Mutual of Omaha's
nature program with Marlin Perkins...
and that...
attractive younger guy.
It triggered something.
Suddenly everything fell into place.
I'm gay---
and always have been.
[ Sniffs ]
You only found out
you were gay on Wednesday?
Only then definitively.
Wednesday was...
Gay Day for me.
[ Sniffs ]
Finished eavesdropping?
- I wasn't eavesdropping.
- Come on. Anything interesting?
- Shh. God.
- [ Song Changes]
Listen. It's much better
you're with Tom than Jimmy.
- You two really look great together.
- You think so?
It's too bad we weren't
closer friends in college.
I think I could really have
helped you there.
For most guys,
sexual repressiveness is a turnoff.
You're saying this for my benefit?
You're a good conversationalist, but...
there's something of
the kindergarten teacher about you.
It's really nice, but the guys you like
also tend to be on the ethereal side.
It can get pretty far away
from any kind of physicality.
This is gonna sound dumb,
but it really works.
Whenever you can,
throw the word sexy into your conversation.
It's kind of a signal. Like, um...
There's something really sexy
about strobe lights.
Or, uh...
This fabric is so sexy.
Yeah, it is.
That you and I could make it on through
- But something went wrong
- [ Des ] Josh?
Uh, hi.
- What are you doing here?
- In New York, or in the club?
In the city.
I'm an A.D.A. in Morgenthau's office.
An assistant district attorney for Manhattan.
They call us A.D.A.'s.
You're a prosecutor?
- God, how did you get that?
- It's not such a big deal.
- But -
- I'm perfectly competent to do the job, Des.
Great. Good.
I wasn't implying anything.
I was just surprised to see you here.
The love I lost
- Going to Harvard must have been great.
- Well -
The people at Hampshire were nice
and pretty smart, in a non-traditional way...
but I was out of place there.
I'm sorry. I don't consider the guy who did
the Spider-Man comics a serious writer.
Yeah, I thought it was the Green Hornet
people took more seriously.
Hey, Tom.
Excuse me. Are you Alice?
Jimmy Steinway gave me this vodka tonic
to give to you, but I'm afraid I sampled it.
- I'll get you another.
- Jimmy's gone?
You're Hap?
Yeah, he wanted me to tell you he's sorry,
but he was ejected from the club.
He was ejected?
Apparently he snuck one of his clients
in the back of the club.
That's odd he knew I drank vodka tonics.
- I never told him.
- It's uncanny.
You mean it's a complete cliche?
All women recent college graduates
drink vodka tonics, or something like that?
- Well, maybe.
- [Whispers ]
So, Jimmy thinks I'm a total clich?
I ordered a vodka tonic too.
So what?
You're plenty original
without having to order some weirdo drink.
Yeah, I wouldn't worry about it.
Can I get you another?
Thanks. Actually, if you don't mind,
I think I'd prefer, um, a whiskey sour.
Okay.
[ Song Changes]
[ Growling, Snarls ]
The tide is high, but I'm holdin' on
I'm gonna be your number one
I'm not the kind of girl
who gives up just like that;
- Are you going already?
- It's really late.
I didn't peg you as such a nightclubber.
I mean, you really seem to like it.
I do. This is a great place.
It's what I've always dreamed of.
Cocktails, dancing, conversation...
exchange of ideas and points of view.
Everyone's here - everyone you know
and everyone you don't know.
You should be proud, Des.
- This is quite an accomplishment.
- Yeah. I am.
Who's the girl you were dancing with?
Oh. Alice Kinnon.
[ Josh ]
Oh.
- I'm gonna be your,
- Thanks a lot for getting me in.
- Number one
- Great.
- Number one
- I'm a little worried about that guy.
I think he might be having
a manic episode of some kind.
Come on, Des.
Don't get started on that.
- So you're one of the club's managers?
- Yeah.
- [ Giggles ]
- Every girl wants you to be her man
But I'll wait right here till it's my turn
You knew Tom would be here tonight,
didn't you?
- God, you're much craftier than I thought.
- No, I didn't.
We're gonna check out
this after-hours club Jimmy told Hap about.
Why don't you come?
Jimmy might be there.
- I don't know.
- The tide is high, but I'm holdin' on
I'm gonna be your number one
- Number one
- We were all at Harvard together.
How'd you get involved with
environmental causes?
- I think that's great.
- You're interested in the environment?
- Very much so.
- Actually, there's one theory...
that the environmental
movement of our day...
was sparked by the re-release
of Bambi in the late 1950s.
For many members of the baby boom
generation, it was traumatic.
The hunters killing Bambi's mother.
- Yeah, that was terrible.
- For a six-year old, it's devastating.
To this day, no one wants to identify
with those hunters.
I think you're right.
You're living in some
women's residence, aren't you?
Yeah. It's terrible.
- No guests.
- Huh.
I Keys Clinking 1
[ Bolt Clicks]
[Light Switch Clicks 1
Wow. It's really nice.
Thanks.
Would you like anything to drink?
- What?
- Um...
could I have...
- a Pernod?
- Sure.
[ Glass Clinks]
This is supposed to be good for
cigarette mouth. Do you smoke?
When I drink or go out at night,
I usually smoke.
I live dangerously...
on the edge.
I'm no kindergarten teacher.
[ Chuckles ]
What's this?
Um, I collect original edition
Scrooge McDuck comics.
- I know it sounds a little odd.
- Not at all.
This is original artwork by Carl Barks,
who created the Uncle Scrooge comics.
He '.s considered a bit of a genius.
- [ Clicks 1
- [Disco]
There's something really sexy
about Scrooge McDuck.
- You really think so?
- How do you like your love
- Ooh
- I love Uncle Scrooge.
How do you like your love
But if you want to know how I really feel
Get the cameras rollin'
Get the action goin'
Baby, you know my love for you is real
Take me where you want to
Man, my heart you steal
More, more, more
How do you like it
How do you like it,
More, more, more
How do you like it
How do you like it,
More, more, more
How do you like it
How do you like it,
Ooh
How do you like your love
Ooh
How do you like your love
- [ Typing]
- [ Woman] The author's brother is...
- according to Tibetan Buddhism -
- [ Bell Dings]
God.
Recommend:
Very kind decline.
[ Phone Rings]
- Anything interesting?
- Not really.
- What time did you get back?
- I don't know.
- You don't know?
- I didn't check.
Well, was it light or dark?
Why do you care what time I got in?
Sorry. No reason.
We've got to get an apartment of our own.
Do you know how long it takes
to become an editor?
- You mean associate editor.
- Yeah. Associate editor.
[ Woman]
Oh, yes.
What's the minimum amount of time
to become an associate editor?
- How many years?
- It's hard to say.
- Approximately.
- Maybe four years.
But more than years.
Before you can become...
an associate editor,
you have to have a best seller.
How can you be sure
you'll get a best seller?
- You cannot.
- But what if you don't find one?
- You have to.
- Show them the outline.
You might want to see this.
It's the Scott Meredith best seller outline.
Create sympathetic characters
with whom readers identify.
Give them problems.
Make these problems big.
- Could I photocopy this?
- Yes, but I need it back.
- I'd like a copy too.
- That stuff is such crap.
This does describe a lot of best sellers.
It's true.
- It's completely formulaic.
- Of course it's formulaic. It's a formula.
That's why I prefer nonfiction.
[ Woman] It's good you want to be
an editor so much. In this era of television...
you are devoted to the printed word.
Actually, ultimately, I'd like to work in television,
but right now what I need's a raise.
Alice and I have been looking at apartments,
but we can't afford one on what we get as assistants.
[ Snickers ]
That's so comical.
What?
That girls like you
really worry about paying the rent.
Aren't your fathers heavily subsidizing
your living expenses with big allowances?
They're not big at all.
In a few years, you'll marry some
incredibly rich corporate lawyers.
It's not as if you really worry about
paying the rent like the rest of us.
- Oh, you worry about paying the rent?
- Yeah.
Then you're way ahead of us,
'cause we don't even have an apartment.
What if, in a few years,
we don't marry some corporate lawyer?
What if we marry some meatball,
like you?
I mean, not you personally,
but someone with...
similarly low socioeconomic prospects.
Can you believe that?
They really think that way.
Disco sucks.
What a dope.
Would you ever go out with anyone
who worked in the company?
Fortunately,
there's absolutely no temptation.
[ Woman]
Charlotte, telephone. It's a man.
- Hello?
-[ Man] Hi.
Oh, hi. We were thinking of having
some people for dinner Saturday night...
and wanted to know
if you could come.
- About 7:30.
- Okay. Where?
- Actually, I'll have to call you back with that.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- Great.
Thanks. Okay. Bye.
That was Jimmy Steinway.
He's coming for dinner Saturday night.
You called him?
I thought you said you could never be
interested in anyone who worked in advertising.
Well, no one could
say something like that seriously.
It was obviously a joke.
Anyway, it's not like it's a date or anything.
He's invited as part of a group.
It's really important
there be more group social life.
Not just all this ferocious pairing off.
You like Tom. Invite him.
We don't even have an apartment.
How can we have a dinner party?
Well, it's another incentive to get one.
Does the Lexington Avenue Express
stop at 86th Street?
- I think so.
- We better hurry.
Do you really think we know each other
well enough to room together?
Well, maybe that's good.
It's not just that we don't
know each other well.
I'm not even sure we really like each other.
That's okay.
You know, Alice, I'm not so much
of a bitch as I might seem.
You'll find Holly's a little sensitive
about her intelligence.
She's dumb?
Harvard guys, even the ones that seem
reasonably cool on the outside...
are all essentially wimps
and bookworms on the inside.
They love being seen
out with this lovely girl.
But, after a date of two, rather than risk rejection,
they pretend to drop her...
going around complaining about
how dull she was.
Is she dull?
A little, but that's not the point.
Once you start worrying
about something like that, you're lost.
Holly was devastated.
She stopped dating entirely...
and weekends either went home
or just hung around the library at Pine Manor.
What do you think you're doing?
Shove off, Mac!
Deviant.
Creep. Off.
So, I wouldn't develop
any illusions about Harvard guys.
They can be amazing creeps too.
- Well, there you are.
- Hi.
Um, our friend still isn't here. Oh.
[ Chattering ]
Sorry. I forgot which way the numbers went
on the East Side.
It's what's called a railroad apartment.
It's, uh, long and rather narrow...
like a railroad car.
Each room opens directly onto the other.
It's very nice.
[ Woman]
The closets are here.
This is the other bedroom.
The bathroom is back here at this end.
And the kitchen.
So, to get to the bathroom
from the living room...
you have to clomp through
both bedrooms?
Well, there are two outside doors.
So, in theory...
you can use the exterior hall to go between
the kitchen and the living room.
Huh.
Even with two roommates,
the, um, layout is a bit awkward.
- You can't afford something bigger?
- We all work in book publishing.
- Couldn't your parents help?
- They already are.
So, what do you think?
I think it's really nice.
Isn't the layout a bit awkward?
Well, I think we should take it.
Here you go.
Ifs good to see bourgeois girls
building up a s weal'.
- Why is that good to see?
- You live around here?
- There was a Guild meeting at Asphalt Green.
- A Guild meeting?
The Newspaper Guild is organizing
clerical and editorial staff for book publishing.
I'm supposed to organize our department.
Oh, my God.
We're all gonna lose our jobs.
You should support this.
You were just complaining how lousy the pay is.
Are you rooming with them?
That's gonna be really tough.
- Aren't we behind schedule?
- Nope.
This recipe is extremely fast.
[ Intercom Buzzes]
[ Clears Throat]
Hello?
-[ Man] Uh, it's Dan.
- Dan?
Hi. Come up.
Dan from your department.
I invited him.
Departmental Dan?
You know, he went to Harvard.
So?
Yeah, I've gotta meet some clients at 10:00
and get them into the club.
- [Cork Pops]
- Tom isn't coming?
If he does, he'll be very late.
Isn't this what they call
a railroad apartment?
Uh-huh.
People always say how terrible they are,
but it seems pretty nice.
Well, the layout's not so good.
It's amazing the little things in life one doesn't
appreciate until they're missing. Such as hallways.
These apartments were
actually planned in the last century...
as tenement housing
for working-class families.
Now all the yuppie roommate combos
are crowding them out.
Well, that's just tough.
- [ Disco, Faint]
- [ Chattering ]
[Man ] Now where you going?
Come on. We just wanna -
- Hey, Rocky. Come on.
- Come on. Come on. Come on. Settle. Settle.
Settle.
[Arguing ]
Fight.
- [ Crowd Gasps ]
- Rumble.
- Get this guy.
- Get him.
[ Chattering ]
Actually, I was thinking I'd go home.
- What?
- You should come.
I don't know.
I'm not really a disco type.
Well, who is?
I probably wouldn't get in anyway.
Of course you'll get in.
Holly's gorgeous.
[ Siren Wails]
I'm comin' out
- [Siren Wails]
- I want the world to know,
Got to let it show
- [ Man ] Who are they? Charlie's Angels?
- [Woman ] Oh, my God. We're trying to get in.
- [ Chattering ]
- I want the world to know,
Got to let it show
There's a new me coming out
And I just have to live
And I wanna give
I'm completely positive
I think this time around
I am gonna do it
like you never knew it
Oh, I'll make it through
The time has come for me
to break out of the shell
I have to shout
that I am coming out;
I'm coming out,
I want the world to know;
I got to let it show
I'm comin'
I'm coming out,
- Thanks, Jimmy.
- [Jimmy] Have fun, Jack. Harry.
- Thanks a lot, Des. I really appreciate it.
- [Des ] Fine. Cool.
[ Jimmy] I'm starting to realize
how important eye contact is.
I can't talk to people in this thing.
They get nervous. They don't know who I am.
- Well, that's the point.
- There is so much more to me
You think tonight would be
a good, uh, time to talk to Van?
Try to patch things up,
get a reprieve of some sort?
- Uh, no.
- I got it well in hand
My job's sort of on the line, Des.
Not all clients would be such good sports
as Harry and Jack.
- There is no need to fear
- If it's a question of groveling, I can do that.
- Just point me in the right direction.
- Shh. God.
- I'm coming out
- Can I show you something?
- Sure. What'?
- I want the world to know
Got to let it show
You know something
about banking, don't you?
Yeah. Manny Hanny used to be a client.
Manufacturers Hanover.
I know what Manny Hanny is.
[ Continues, Faint]
[Sighs]
Note:
No lock.
[ Des]
Ten is the cover charge.
God, paying a cover charge to get into a club.
How humiliating.
That's your reaction?
Look at this.
Kind of worrisome, don't you think?
Yeah.
To me, shipping cash to Switzerland
in canvas bags doesn't sound honest.
To me, it suggests possible illegality.
Well, what are you gonna do?
Well, I'm not going
into that room anymore.
- [ Charlotte] Uh, gimlet, please.
- [ Dan ] Domestic beer. A Bud.
Um, whiskey sour.
Excuse me.
- You're Alice Kinnon, aren't you?
- Yeah.
- We met at that party in Sag Harbor, Labor
Day weekend. - [ Dan ] How much is that?
You were just coming in as I was leaving,
and you asked me where the kitchen was.
- Do you remember?
- I do remember getting to the kitchen.
Uh, excuse us.
We're here sort of as a group.
If you don't mind -
- Excuse me.
- I'm coming out
- Why did you say that?
- I didn't like the look of him at all.
Did you notice how he was eyeballing you?
Creepy. Frankly, I thought he might have been
the guy that bothered me on the subway.
I'm sorry if I overreacted.
- Poor guy.
- It's no big deal.
That kind of thing happens all the time.
Anyway, you've got Tom.
I got it well in hand
[ Disco]
What?
I don't wanna lose you
This good thing
That I got
'Cause if I do
Hey. Sorry I'm so late.
- How did it go?
- Fine.
- You know, they closed the airport.
- No.
Yeah, we had to land in Washington
until LaGuardia reopened.
- Than any love I know,
- [ indistinct]
- It's like thunder
- [ Thunder Crashes]
Lightning
The way you love me is frightening
You better knock
Knock
on wood
Baby
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Baby
Ooh
Do you remember the conversation
we had Labor Day weekend?
It had a huge impact on me.
- Really?
- Jennifer and I had been talking all year...
about either acknowledging the permanence
of our relationship and marrying...
or finally just breaking up.
I had no idea you were even dating anyone.
I thought you knew.
No, we've been together since college.
But the weekend after Labor Day,
we had this long talk.
Jennifer proposed a trial separation,
which normally I'd have considered ridiculous...
but I couldn't help thinking of you...
and went along.
Out of some sort of residual
loyalty to Jennifer...
I didn't call you immediately
and instead started coming to the club.
Uh - I'm not a very good dancer, but -
No, you are.
I was also curious if the sexual revolution
went as far as everyone said.
It had.
But emotionally, I couldn't handle it.
I got so depressed, and...
when I saw you that night...
you were a vision.
Not just of loveliness, but of...
virtue and sanity.
What?
I shouldn't talk about it.
I'm just gonna end up sounding like an idiot.
- No. What?
- You're very sexy...
and good-looking and modern and...
hot and -
But what I was craving was sort of...
a sentient individual
who wouldn't abandon her intelligence...
to hop into bed
with e very guy she meets in a nightclub.
Why - Why is it that when people
have sex with strangers on their mind...
their I.Q. just drops, like, 40 points?
All that affected...
sexy seductress slinking around.
Uncle Scrooge is sexy?
I mean, my God, is there no limit?
- No. That was to -
- Do you think I'm an idiot?
I'm so sick of all the lies and the nonsense.
- Alice?
- [New Disco Song]
Alice. What's wrong?
What happened?
[ Continues]
McGrath. Where is he?
- [Man ] He was around.
- Uh, I'd say it's definitely...
not a good idea
to approach Van tonight.
- [ Man] There he is.
- McGrath.
You're through, McGrath.
You're out of here, right now.
- What?
- Bernie. Bernie.
- Where is he?
- [ Man] There he is.
- Bernie, this guy's through.
- What's going on?
We had a public safety situation
in the front.
This jerk comes out,
trying to make it worse.
- Is this true?
- Public safety situation?
Give me a break.
It was a joke. I'm sorry.
We had a public safety situation.
The cops came.
It was no joke.
- I tease him a tiny bit.
- No teasing, Des.
No teasing?
Either he goes, or I do.
Come on, Van.
Des, grow up. Cut it out.
Okay. Sorry.
- It's the ad guy.
- So, it's the dancing adman.
You're finished.
Okay, I work in advertising.
Is that a crime?
What's happening in this country?
- [ Continues]
- [ Man] There they are. Get 'em.
To be real
[ Van]
Get the Tin Man. Get him.
ooh
Get this jerk out of the club.
You're fired, Des. You're out of here.
You can't fire me, Van.
Only Bernie can fire me.
Okay.
You're fired.
And take this yuppie scum with you.
Ooh
What you find
- What you feel now
- [ Van] Good riddance.
Yuppie scum"?
In college, before dropping out, I took a course
in the propaganda uses of language.
One objective is to deny other people's
humanity - or even right to exist.
In the men's lounge,
someone scrawled Kill Yuppie Scum.
Do yuppies even exist?
No one says I am a yuppie.
It's always the other guy who's a yuppie.
I think for a group to exist,
somebody has to admit to be part of it.
Of course yuppies exist. Most people
would say you two are prime specimens.
- We're not yuppies.
- You think we're yuppies?
- You're seriously saying you're not yuppies?
- No.
Yuppie stands for
young, upwardly mobile professional.
Nightclub flunky
is not a professional category.
Contrary to popular belief,
junior level ad jobs don't pay well at all.
I wish we were yuppies.
Young. Upwardly mobile. Professional.
- Those are good things, not bad things.
- Where are we going?
- Rex's.
- Oh, no.
- What's wrong with Rex's?
- Well, you can't dance there...
and it's full of boring preppies.
- Oh, and we're so interesting.
- You can dance at Rex's.
Yeah, but why Rex's?
Why not some other place?
Well, for one thing,
everyone at the club knows I go there.
So, when they come looking for me,
I want to be there.
Why would they come looking for you?
What happened tonight was a mistake, which,
even now, Bernie's probably very much regretting.
He's a smart guy.
Not without good qualities.
Even if very few.
I wouldn't be surprised if he's already
called Rex's to retract my dismissal.
How can you be so sure of that?
Well, I'm not sure of it.
Qpportunity
Whoa, opportunity
- Yeah, yeah, baby
- Opportunity
- Whoa, opportunity)
- Yeah, yeah
- Opportunity
- Hey.
- [Des] Hey, Rex.
- Welcome to Rex's.
Alice, you look like you've seen
the dark side of the moon. What did Tom say?
No. I feel much better.
I love your idea of social life as a group,
without all this ferocious pairing off.
I couldn't have stood being alone tonight.
[ Dan] We all went to Harvard,
but I didn't really know them there.
[Hmw]
Which house were you in?
I thought Bernie was smarter than that.
What a blunder.
When they do call,
we'll get you immediately.
Thanks, Rex.
- Rex is such a great guy.
- [Jimmy] Yeah.
Charlotte says she can tell if a guy
is gay or not just by looking in his eyes.
How?
Maybe it's related to
how they look at you.
It's hard to define,
but I think women can tell.
I can't.
Are Jimmy or I Gay?
Come on. Don't.
Jimmy. No.
Well, not your eyes,
but you do have a gay mouth.
A gay mouth? I have a gay mouth?
What does that mean?
- Just what I said.
- It's true, Des. Your mouth does look gay.
God, how moronic can you get?
What nonsense.
Don't think I don't know your whole act.
Excuse me?
Pretending to be gay to get sympathy
from women while cruelly dumping them.
And to seem cooler than you actually are.
I despise your whole pathetic act.
You're not fit to lick the boots
of my real gay friends.
Well, I don't want to lick the boots
of your real gay friends.
You know, I could be gay.
I see through you completely.
- Oh, you see through me completely?
- Yeah, I do.
- That's the dark side of feminism.
- [ Charlotte ] What?
You have a kind of free pass
to make any kind of...
wounding or derogatory comment
you want.
I am hardly a militant feminist.
No, you're not.
A militant feminist would be a lot fairer.
It is women like you whose attitudes
to men are so dehumanizing.
- Like what?
- That men are swine...
obsessed with large breasts
and the sex act...
devoid of any idealistic
or romantic sensibility...
when, in fact, we have that
idealistic sensibility in spades.
For instance, you have no idea what men
really think about women's breasts.
What do men think about women's breasts?
Well, it's not something
you just blur': out.
It's far more complicated
and nuanced than that.
Okay. I'll tell you a story. When I was in college,
there was a girl I had a crush on...
who always had older boyfriends,
invariably some senior.
Finally, they all graduated and one night
we went back to her room alone.
Suddenly, her shirt was off
and I was confronted...
with these breasts
which turned out to be...
completely surprising
and, frankly, disconcerting.
They were rather large and-and...
not ugly or especially strange-shaped...
but in all the time
that I had thought about her...
these breasts had never figured.
She took off her shirt so quickly...
there was no time for adjustment.
And I sensed something arrogant about it...
as if her abrupt unveiling
of her largish breasts...
was somehow going to
slay my swinish male self...
as if I hadn't already been slayed
on a much higher level.
Spell on me
- Her name was Alice too.
- Oh, come on, Des. You know that's not true.
- What do you mean it isn't true?
- Her name wasn't Alice.
Well, I'm not gonna use her real name.
- Would-Would you like to dance?
- You got me doing funny things, like a clown
- Do you mind?
- Just a-look at me
When you wear your high-heel boots
with your hip-hugger suit
Huh, it's all right
You're out of sight;
If what's bothering you relates to Tom Platt,
I-l wouldn't take it personally.
Did you know Tom and Jennifer
had a trial separation...
- which was to end tonight?
- I can dig it, and I says oogum, oogum
What you might not know is that,
about a week ago...
they started seeing each other on the sly -
- cheating on their trial separation.
- I say oogum, oogum, boogum, boogum
How do you know that?
Working at the club,
you find out all kinds of things.
You know, this is the way people
used to dance in bars in the old days.
Did people ever really dance in bars?
I thought that was a myth.
People my older brother's age -
uh, they did.
Your brother must be a lot older.
Before disco, this country
was a dancing wasteland.
You know the Woodstock generation of the 1960s
that were so full of themselves and conceited?
- None of those people could dance.
- Huh.
That I'm crazy about you
Huh, now go on now
with your bad self
[ Alice ]
What happened with her?
I think she noticed
that for a moment I flinched.
She dropped me like a rock.
I was crushed.
- I'm hushed.
- [ Des] I couldn't take it. So, I dropped out...
and got in the nightclub business early.
Thanks to which
I probably owe my success today.
[ Charlotte ] Let's share a cab.
We Te thinking of going.
- You're all going?
- Yeah.
- Have they called yet from the club?
- I don't think they will call.
Bernie'll probably send some emissary.
That's more his style.
What should we do with the Oz costumes?
Just, uh, bring 'em by the club tomorrow?
Actually, those costumes are mine.
Just get 'em back to me when you can.
I thought we were here as a group.
You talked about the tremendous
importance of group social life.
- Well, it's really late.
- Yeah, Alice. It's getting really late.
- We'd better get going.
- Thanks again, Des.
- Ciao.
- [Des] Bye.
- [Jimmy] Bye. Night, Rex.
- All week Charlotte's been talking about...
the tremendous importance
of group social life...
opposing all this ferocious pairing off.
Well, group social life has its place...
but at a certain point,
other biological factors come into play.
Our bodies weren't really designed
for group social life.
A certain amount of pairing off
was always part of the original plan.
- God, I can't believe you'd say that.
- What?
- What did I say? - What you mean to say is that
they've all gone back to screw their brains out.
No, I didn't say that. I said they were
going to pair off. Well, wait. Don't go.
I didn't mean to say anything
anybody could be offended by.
Oh, thank God. He's here.
Des, Bernie regrets what happened.
It was a mistake,
and he wants you back.
I'm sorry.
I know why you're so upset.
- I mean, I know what really happened with Tom.
- What?
That he thought you were really slutty
or something. That's so stupid.
You can't worry about
what misinterpreters think.
That's so unfair.
Come back to my place.
We should talk.
There - Nothing will happen. I just need
somebody to talk to. Maybe you do too.
Eighty-ninth and First.
[ Windshield Wipers Whirring]
- [Disco ]
- [Door Opens ]
- Hi.
- [Door Closes ]
Hi.
[ Recording: Woman Vocalizing]
- [Jimmy] Oh, Wail. Uh -
- [ Charlotte Chuckles ]
[ Jimmy] My goodness.
[ Continues Speaking, indistinct]
Sexy baby
Good lovin' daddy
- Ooh, let me be your rockin' chair
- [ Whispering]
Just a-rock me away from here
- Let's get it on
- [ Knocks]
- Come to me, baby,
- Alice.
What would your dream book to publish be,
if you could publish any book ?
- Anything that might become a best seller.
- Aside from that. Your dream book.
I'd say a collection of new
J.D. Salinger stories...
but more in the direction of The Laughing Man
or Raise High the Roof Beam, Carpenters...
not Hapworth 16
or Seymour: An Introduction.
Did you know that, in his own day...
Mary McCarthy and Alfred Kazin
wrote devastating pieces on Salinger?
- No.
- Yeah. They really destroyed him.
Sexy baby
- [ Sighs]
- Good lovin' daddy
- God.
Let me be your rockin' chair
Just a-rock me away from here
Let's get it on
Come to me, baby
Ooh
- [ Charlotte And Jimmy Whispering]
- Let me be your rockin' chair
Just a-rock me away from here
Rock me gently
Make me feel like a cloud in the sky
[ Dan, Whispering]
Maybe we should go the outside way, like Alice.
[ Holly, Whispering]
I'm sure it was Jimmy. It's very quiet.
[ Door Hinges Squeak]
[ Charlotte]
Get out! Get out!
- [ Door Slams]
- [ Dan] That was pretty bad.
[ Sloshing, Spits 1
[ Spits ]
[ Door Opens ]
- What's the matter now?
- What?
All the noise -
clomping around, banging pans.
- Sorry. I didn't realize it.
- You obviously intended it.
What do you mean?
It's very aggressive. You don't clomp around
banging pans for no reason.
- Like what reason?
- You know perfectly well.
- Because I only bang pans?
- [ Scoffs ]
Well, frankly,
that's not what I heard.
Okay, anything I did that was wrong
I apologize for.
But anything I did that was not wrong,
I don't apologize for.
[ Sighs ]
God, Alice is such a Scorpio.
I. I Reggae ]
Sweet majesty,r
[ Continues]
- [Dog Growling]
Come on, boy. Did she hurt you?
You okay? Let's see. Let's see.
Aw. We'll fix it.
- So much I've longed
- I've longed,
- To speak to you
- [ Dog Barkmg]
- [ Continues ]
- Rufus! Rufus!
Come here, boy.
- Rufus! Come here! Hey!
- [ Kicks]
- [Sharp Yelping ]
- Never do that!
How dare you!
Shame on you! Bitch!
[ Alice] I decided to go ahead
with the Tibet book proposal.
- What?
- The memoir about the Dalai Lama's older brother?
Oh.
I'd like to bring it up
at Wednesday's editorial meeting.
You really like that?
- Other people liked it too?
- Yeah.
Okay, I'll take another look.
You know, it's considered
a little self-indulgent...
to read too much of a manuscript
if it doesn't seem to be going anywhere.
Have you known Holly long?
Just since we found
the apartment. Why?
She's very, uh... quiet, isn't she?
Well, I would say
not more than normal.
Your standard of normal
could be different from other people's.
How do you mean?
I don't understand that.
I guess what I'm asking is -
- You do like Holly, don't you?
- Yeah, of course.
But she is intelligent, isn't she?
Sometimes I question
her dating choices.
- God, you're tough.
- I'm not tough in the least.
No, you're really tough.
Halston, Gucci;
Fiorucci
He looks like a still
The! men is dressed to kill 'P
Oh, What, wow,
He's the greatest dancer
Oh, what, wow
That I've ever seen
I've ever seen
- Congratulations, Alice.
- Yeah, your first book. Great.
It could be a best seller.
[ Woman]
Charlotte. Oh, Charlotte.
That was so moving, what you said
about our obligation to writers.
- Thanks.
- And how often we fall short of that.
Well, let's face it.
Most authors are still conceited dopes.
You - You can't say that.
You're an editor. You don't have to
deal with them on a daily basis.
When you're an assistant,
it's harder to dodge the calls.
Good going, Alice.
I'm really glad we got this book.
I understand that you know
some people at the club.
Do you think that maybe, uh, sometime
you could get us in there some night?
- [ Charlotte ] Yeah, certainly. We'll arrange that.
- [ Chuckling ] Great. Thanks.
- Thanks a lot, Dan.
- Sure.
Do you have any idea why Jimmy's
suddenly so interested in your social life?
- No. He's interested in my social life?
- Haven't you noticed?
He's always wondering
why you don't go out or go to the club.
He is?
You know, Alice, you've been
hanging around the apartment a lot.
You've kind of set up office there.
None of the rest of us has any privacy.
- The railroad apartment wasn't my idea.
- Yeah, that's true...
but it's just odd that you're
so much friendlier to Jimmy now he's with me.
I just think the situation 's
kind of awkward.
What do you want me to do,
promise not to talk to him anymore?
I'm sure you know perfectly well how to subtly
get a guy to cool it if you really wanted to.
[ Singers ]
Turn it upside down
[ Woman]
Hey, yeah
- Love to hear percussion
- Hey.
- Whoa
- Love to hear it
Flute player, play your flute
'Cause I know that you want
to get your thing off,
- Oh, damn.
- [ Continues ]
Oh, damn? Thanks.
- You're here to see Van?
- You don 7 mind, do you?
Well, I sorta do.
I hate asking that guy for favours.
They're not gonna keep me on much longer
if I can't get clients into the club.
It's that important to you
to stay in advertising?
Okay. Better see him
while he's still on his upswing.
- [ Continues ]
- Drink chip?
[ Josh ]
Hey, Des.
- Hi.
- God. What happened to you?
- Jesus, Josh. You're a mess.
- I'm a mess.
- I gotta talk to you.
- You sure you don't want to clean up a little?
It's kinda serious.
I'll look for Alice and Charlotte,
see if they've come in.
- Whoa-ohh-ohh
- Love to hear it, love to hear it
Hey-ey-ey-ey
- [ Continues ]
- That's Audrey Rouget.
The youngest person ever to be made an editor
in the history of Farrar, Straus.
- How do you know her?
- She interviewed me.
How did it go?
Have you ever been in an interview and gotten
the impression they see through you completely?
Turn the beat around
I didn't get an offer.
- You don't want to clean up a little?
- No.
You know, you look really bad.
I know. That's actually good in my work.
It puts people at ease.
Looking like this, they feel, frankly, superior to me
and say things they ordinarily wouldn't.
It's very disarming.
Phew! What happened?
I was having drinks with some friends
in the Village, and there was this terrible guy...
really bothering this girl,
so I decided to intervene...
but it turns out they were married.
What's this now?
You're not here on official business, are you?
Knowing that we went to college together,
they asked me to talk to you.
Who is they?
I can't tell you.
I couldn't believe you'd be involved in the kinds
of things that have been going on here...
and told them so.
I consider you a person of some integrity,
except, you know, in your relations with women.
[ New Disco Song]
No, I don't know if it's right,r
To let you make love to me
Tonight
I don't know if I should
Give my love to you
When I know you're no good
- No, I don't wanna play that stuff.
- All right. I'll let him know.
Take the tortoise and the hare.
Okay, the tortoise won one race.
Do you think that hare is really gonna lose
any more races to turtles? Not on your life.
- I like that tortoise.
- So do /.
But if you were a betting person,
would you say...
That tortoise won against the hare.
In future races, I'm backing him? No.
That race was almost certainly a fluke,
and afterwards...
the tortoise is still a tortoise,
and the hare a hare.
- [Dan] Domestic beer. A Bud.
- [ Woman ] Mm-hmm.
Vodka tonic, please.
Um, I'll just have a Coca-Cola.
You're not drinking?
Alice is not having a cocktail?
I can't believe it.
- Well, I'm not.
- What is it?
Do you have strep throat, or some flu
you're taking antibiotics for?
[ Continues]
Oh, my God.
You have the clap, don't you?
You're on antibiotics, and the doctor
told you not to drink or something.
That's why you're not drinking.
Usually there's no coming
between Alice and a cocktail.
[ Mutters ]
Oh, my God.
[ Continues]
No, I'm sure I'm right.
The bottle of tetracycline on her bureau top.
Tetracycline's specific for the clap.
How could you say that?
Come on.
Everyone gets something.
Love's gone behind
Lost inside
Adorable illusion
and I cannot hide
I'm the one you're using
Please don't push me aside
We could have made it cruising
Yeah
Alice.
I am so, so sorry.
I should never have said that.
I have some sort of sick compulsion
to say everything that occurs to me.
I just want to let you know, as soon as I can find
a new rooming situation, I'm moving out.
- I can't take it anymore.
- That's not possible. You're not serious.
- Just let me know when you're ready to go.
- Okay.
Please, Alice.
Rooming with you and Holly has been the most
important thing to happen to me in my life.
You're the first women friends
I've ever had.
[ Sighs ] The anger you're feeling now
is actually more justified than you know.
When we were at Hampshire,
I really hated you.
You seemed so moralistic
and judgmental.
I had no idea then
how you really were.
When guys wanted to ask you out,
I talked them out of it.
Oh, my God. I can't believe how evil I was.
But I've completely changed.
If you'll give me another chance,
I'll be the best friend you've ever had.
If the apartment situation weren't so impossible,
I'd move out now.
I can understand how you'd feel that way.
You're right to.
But things aren't always as they seem.
Bad and inexcusable as what I said back there
might have been...
I think you'll find it'll actually improve
your reputation with these guys enormously.
You'll be more popular than ever.
Watch.
V.D.'s not all bad.
You'll find there are actually
positive aspects to it.
[Whispers ]
What?
Well, you know that please inform
all previous partners thing?
It's actually a terrific way...
to get back in touch with guys you might
have liked but have lost contact with.
Just in my own experience,
it's twice led to renewed relationships...
with guys that lasted quite a while
and were really sweet.
I'm not talking about herpes infections,
which are far more serious and apparently incurable.
Just standard V.D. and other conditions
easily treatable with antibiotics.
- [Toilet Flushes ]
- [ Disco, Faint]
[ Clears Throat]
God, are you following me
or something?
You said you weren't taking anything.
Well, I'm not. It was a gift.
I never buy the stuff.
- Anyway, it hardly affects me.
- Oh, no.
Actually, what I'm high about
is the situation with Alice.
This makes her seem
much more accessible.
She's not operating on a plane
so far removed from the rest of us.
There's hope for me.
What did Josh want to talk to you about?
ls everything okay?
Uh, no.
Not exactly.
[ Flushes ]
I'm sorry to bug you about this, but I'd be
really grateful if we could talk with Van soon.
The way it's going, if I can't get people in here,
I'm gonna lose my job.
[ Continues]
Des! You lied to me!
I thought you were a wonderful man,
but it was all lies!
- No.
- You said you loved me!
And then you said you were gay!
But you're not!
Everyone knew but me!
You completely humiliated me!
I could be gay.
You're saying again you're Gay?
Tell me honestly.
Have you had sex with men?
[ Continues]
Well, that's defining it
rather narrowly.
Bullshit! Bullshit! Bullshit!
Bullshit!
I want to give it
I want to get some too
I-I, I-I, Ohh-Oh-Oh-Oh, I
- [ Fades]
- [ Female Reporter] Between games, as planned...
a huge box containing thousands
of disco records was blown up.
[ Crowd Cheering ]
[ Loud Cheering]
[ Man Shouts]
[ Reporter]
The rest was unplanned.
Fans stormed out onto the field
in the thousands...
disco records were hurled like Frisbees,
bonfires were set, bottles were thrown.
The batting cage was torn down and destroyed.
Fistfights broke out.
[ Female Reporter #2] Manhattan district attorney
Robert Morgenthau, at his press conference...
congratulated prosecutors
on their successful convictions in the probe of -
...impact whatsoever, except that -
[ Male Reporter] ...first time on his real estate
task force's 18 convictions of executives...
at six commercial brokerages...
promised a vigorous prosecution...
that would end white-collar crime
in a wide -ranging series of investigations -
[ Reporter Fades ]
I'll just be a second.
- Alice, congratulations on the TV sale.
- Thanks.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- How's Holly?
- Fine.
Is she, um, going out with anyone?
Yeah, this really nice guy who went to
Denver University and works in real estate.
He found her
this incredibly cheap apartment.
She no longer lives with you guys?
You hold what happened against me.
Not that you broke up, just that you go out
with people based primarily on looks.
Holly's also very nice.
A lot of people are nice. You only asked out
the fabulously good-looking one.
You hold that against me.
Well, pretty shallow.
You know, Alice, except for politics,
we've got a lot in common.
We're both pretty serious and, I think,
respect each other's bases for judgment.
Occasionally
I get reactionary thoughts too.
I'm not reactionary.
- Well, aesthetically.
- Oh. Well, aesthetically.
You mean you think / gave it to you.
[ Chuckles ]
- How can you be sure?
- I'm sure.
Well, you were a lot more active
than I was.
Y-You were obviously very experienced.
[ Clears Throat]
No.
Oh, come on.
How did you know all that?
Well, I read... a lot.
You must have been with some guys.
You - You weren't a virgin.
[ Chuckles ]
Well, I didn't consider myself
a virgin, but -
What?
I don't know.
Technically -
- What?
- If, when making love...
the man spurts...
outside the woman...
does that count as sexual intercourse?
Spurts?
If it squirts outside...
without getting in...
does that count
as losing your virginity?
No part of the man got in at any time?
I don't think so.
I think part has to get in...
to be considered sexual intercourse.
So then I was a virgin.
I can't believe that.
The first time you make love, I -
I give you both G and an H infection.
H?
I don't know, I'm beginning
to think that maybe...
that old system of people getting married based
on mutual respect and shared aspirations...
and then slowly over time earning
each other's love and admiration...
worked the best.
Well, we'll never know.
Almost ready.
God! Waiting around all night for
the unemployed guy to get around to shaving.
You're so busy
you can't shower until midnight?
Excuse me.
Unemployed is not who I am.
I'm a fully employed person who just
happens not to have a job right now...
largely because of some structural problems
in the advertising industry.
I'm sorry.
That was really inconsiderate.
Please forgive me.
- [Chattering ] - Spinning all around
the floor just like Rogers and Astaire
[ Jimmy] Of course, if you talk enthusiastically
about your work in advertising...
you sound like a total cretin.
[ Charlotte] No, your enthusiasm
is actually enormously appealing.
In fact, I used not to think so well
of people in advertising...
but that's one of the great things about
getting out of college and into the real world -
how experience changes
and improves your views.
During college, I remember seeing couples
with crying babies and thinking, How horrible.
Lately I've been spending
a lot of time with my niece and nephew.
Saturday I took my niece, who's seven,
to see the Disney movie Lady and the Tramp.
She loved it.
It was so cute.
I'm beginning to fall in love
with the whole idea of having kids.
- I hate that movie.
- What?
It's so tacky,
not to mention depressing.
This sweet movie about cute cartoon dogs
you found depressing?
[Josh ]
There is something depressing about it.
And it's not really about dogs.
Except for some superficial bowwow stuff
at the start, the dogs all represent human types...
which is where
it gets into real trouble.
[ Clears Throat]
Lady, the ostensible protagonist...
is a fluffy, blonde cocker spaniel
with absolutely nothing on her brain.
She's great-looking, but - let's be honest -
incredibly insipid.
Tramp, the love interest...
is a smarmy braggart
of the most obnoxious kind -
an oily jailbird out for a piece of tail
or whatever he can get.
- Oh, come on.
- No, he's a self-confessed chicken thief.
An all-around sleazeball.
What's the function of a film of this kind?
Essentially, it's a primer on love and marriage
directed at very young people...
imprinting on their little psyches...
the idea that smooth-talking delinquents
recently escaped from the local pound...
are a good match for nice girls
from sheltered homes.
When, in 10 years, the icky human version
of Tramp shows up around the house...
their hormones will be racing,
and no one will understand why.
Films like this program women
to adore jerks.
God, you're nuts.
The only sympathetic character - the little Scottie
who's so loyal and concerned about Lady -
is mocked as old-fashioned and irrelevant
and shunted off to the side.
Isn't the whole point
that Tramp changes?
Okay, maybe in the past he stole chickens,
ran around without a license...
and wasn't always sincere
with members of the opposite sex...
but through his love for Lady...
and the beneficent influences
of fatherhood and matrimony...
he changes and becomes
a valued member...
of that, you know,
rather idyllic household.
[ Josh ]
I don't think people really change that way.
We can change our context,
but we can't change ourselves.
- What does that mean?
- Well, you changed.
- Come on, Des.
- That's a little different.
I agree with Josh.
The Scottie is the only admirable character.
Would have been a much better movie
if Lady ended up with him.
I'm really surprised.
I think Tramp really changed.
Maybe he wanted to change or tried to change,
but there's not a lot of integrity there.
First he'd be hanging around the house,
drinking, watching ball games...
maybe knocking Lady around a little bit,
but pretty soon...
he'd be back
at the town dump chasing tail.
Give me a break! Are you taking your medication?
Because what you're saying is completely nuts!
- God. Des! - No, I think people should know
that our friend here has a certain condition.
- [ Jimmy] Shut up./
- How can Morgenthau employ you?
He knows about Mass. Mental Health
and the loony tunes junior year?
Of course he knows about it.
God!
[ Disco]
- Jimmy, you know where Alice is?
- No, I don't know where she is.
Uh, excuse me.
Were you at Leo Burnett in Chicago?
- Oh, my God! How are you?
- Um, do you know Betty?
- Jimmy Steinway. Hi.
- Hi.
- You're still with IHSMOCO?
- Yeah.
There's a sales conference
at the Americana.
I'm actually with the international side now,
based in Spain.
- How's that?
- Barcelona is beautiful...
but in human terms, uh, pretty cold.
- How about you?
- I was at McCallum, but just got sacked.
Have you found anything else?
- No.
- Any leads?
No.
There's a lot of agencies in Spain
looking for people with experience from here.
There's one in Madrid
some Burnett people have affiliated with.
- I could give them a call.
- That sounds great.
Michael. Good Times.
[ Continues]
I don't identify with Tramp at all. I was just
sticking up for him because no one else was.
I actually identify
with the loyal Scottie dog too.
I've changed.
[ Good Times]
Good times
These are the good times
Leave your cares behind
These are the good times
Good times
These are the good times
Our new state of mind
These are the good times
Happy days are here again
- [ Continues ]
- I can't continue on this case.
There's a conflict.
Well, we know that.
You told us.
You know this guy, Des McGrath.
- It's okay.
- No, but now there's a real conflict.
Boys will be boys
Better let them have their toys
Girls will be girls
Cute ponytails and curls
[ Fades]
- Hi.
- Hey.
- God, what a dump.
- Yeah.
No, I don't mean your place.
Outside.
Oh.
You iron your own shirts?
Well, if I'm going to court,
I wear a laundry-ironed shirt...
but otherwise I do it myself.
That's a great moment in life, when you can start
sending all your shirts out for laundering.
At the agency, after my last promotion,
I briefly had that.
In any case, I doubt I'll be
working there much longer.
- What?
- I'm thinking of quitting.
- You can't do that.
- Why not? What's it to you?
You assured me, if I helped you,
you'd be around to protect Des.
Well, the situation's changed.
How has it changed?
I can't say.
[ Scoffs ]
You can't say?
Maybe Des is more involved...
than I thought.
Or more involved with someone you know.
That's a conflict, Josh.
I still can't believe Alice
is really serious about Des.
- Why not?
- She seems so much smarter than that.
That doesn't matter. There's something
deeply ingrained in human biology.
Women prefer bad
over weak and indecisive...
and unemployed.
I don't know about that.
You think they do prefer
weak, indecisive and unemployed?
[ Intro: Strings]
[ Dean Martin]
Everybody
Loves somebody
- Sometime
- Jimmy's terribly closed off now.
His previous girlfriends
weren't very nice to him.
I still think I'll be able to break through
to him emotionally at some point.
- [ Continues]
- [ Sniffing]
- [ Exhales ]
- Bernie wants to see yo u.
My sometime
Is now;
Can you wait for me?
Let's have breakfast together.
- I have something I want to talk to you about.
- Come on.
There's no tellin'
where love may appear
Something in my heart,
Keeps sayin'
My someday,
[ Bernie]
18,886.
- Uh, Bernie, you wanted to see me?
- Yeah.
Sometimes I get the impression
you hardly know me, Des.
I care about ideas.
I care about them a lot.
Do you know that in college my senior paper
was on Ernest Hemingway?
Thanks,babe.
I'm not a nice person, Des...
but some things are important,
such as loyalty.
Loyalty is not eyewash,
not like niceness.
I've been loyal to you, Des. I could have
fired you lots of times, but never did.
Maybe you're not aware of this, Des,
but there's some sort of investigation under way.
I think to myself,
how could this happen?
How could they get
this information?
Has some disgruntled employee,
former or current, informed on us?
Is there some sort of spy here?
How could agents even get in? I mean, really.
They would stand out in this crowd...
and normally... not get past the door.
Do you know how they got in?
Uh, no.
Could Van be letting them in?
They're coming in
as ad agency clients.
What? Oh, I can't believe it.
After all I did for that guy.
So you don't know anything
about this investigation.
No!
Well, a sort of acquaintance of mine who now
works in Morgenthau's office approached me...
but I didn't tell him anything.
- You didn't tell me about that.
- I didn't think it was important.
- It only just happened.
- When?
Tonight. Just now.
Why did you use
the past perfect then?
I used the past perfect?
Yeah.
I was approached.
Sounds like a while ago.
Everybody loves somebody
Sometime
Everybody falls in love
Somehow
- Something in your kiss
- Des.
- Get away. Don't talk to me.
- Bernie knows about the investigation.
- I haven't told you anything.
- There was some leak at the precinct level.
Bernie had an informant. But it's been fixed.
It's not a problem any longer.
It's a problem! I never said anything to you.
You have to make that clear to everyone.
- That doesn't matter.
- What?
When everything comes down
it's gonna be very rough.
Your whole life will be open for examination,
and it might not look so good.
- Cut out the drugs, Des.
- What?
Don't make such a spectacle of yourself
as a drug user.
Don't receive them, don't consume them
and don't pass them on to others.
What are you talking about?
You could be charged with dealing.
Dealing? Those were gifts!
Well?
Who's accusing me of this?
This is you, isn't it, Josh? That's a conflict.
We both like the same girl.
- So, you really want to go to Ibiza.
- A-beeth-a.
- Ibiza. Ibiza.
- Ibiza.
- Ibiza.
- [Van ] They go topless in Ibiza.
- I hear San Sebastian's great.
- Oh, it is. It's grand.
- Bye, Ruth.
- Ciao!
Rocky. Rocky.
Get that tall guy.
Ciao! Good night.
- Look out!
- [ Groaning ]
- Oh, God!
- Drive. Drive. Get outta here!
We'll get you! Prick!
- [ Van] Jimmy's hurt. Get him to the hospital.
- [ Woman] Oh, my God!
[ Woman Speaks, indistinct]
- Stat.
- [ Chattering]
[ Jimmy ]
I didn't know anything about it.
The agency just funneled clients
they wanted to get into the club through me.
Usually before I got in the car
I hadn't even met them.
I just assumed they were clients
from out of town.
That the I.R.S. was our largest client
didn't occur to me then.
I swear I didn't know
anything about it, Des.
- At first.
- You scumbag.
Josh promised me
you'd be protected.
Oh, great.
What's a little shocking is they'd do something
so obvious and clumsy and move so fast...
no matter how richly
I may feel you deserved it.
They were just some creeps
mad Van turned them away before.
Van's operating under tremendous pressure.
I'm starting to feel a lot of sympathy for the guy.
Oh, great.
No, that's priceless.
You and Van.
Oh, I love that.
Oh!
Want a snort?
Guess not.
I he ve a very bad feeling
about the club, Des.
It's like a meteorite is headed straight for it.
It's gonna destroy everything.
The greatest club the world has ever seen
is gonna be smashed to smithereens.
Yeah, well, I don't think
it'll be a meteorite.
Bye.
Alice and I
are having breakfast together.
It's a date.
You can't come.
Sorry.
Try to get some sleep.
That's what guys do who want to date you?
They say they have a book idea ?
- Maybe.
- Did he say what the book was?
He said he had some crazy ideas for a book
on the criminal justice system.
Of course. That makes sense.
Crazy ideas are the kind that Josh would have.
Be careful of that guy. I was there
when he flipped out. Really scary.
He got up on a table at a cafeteria
off Harvard Square...
and started weirdly singing this hymn.
Apparently religious mania...
is highly typical of manic depression
entering its manic phase.
Josh is not just your garden-variety loon.
He is a serious nutcase.
What gets me is this serious nutcase
now presumes to judge others.
You really think the neurological effects
of coffee are similar to that of cocaine?
That's what I read somewhere.
[Sniffs, Coughs]
[ Josh ]
In addition to amazing stories...
there are a lot of entertaining
prosecutors ' anecdotes- . .
And then there's the whole culture
of the downtown legal district.
It could be good.
Like everything,
it all depends on execution.
This is sort of related.
It's an article I wrote for Harper's
during law school.
Did you really just want to have lunch
to discuss, um, a book proposal?
Um, no.
How serious are you and Des?
Is it absolutely, completely,
irrevocably serious?
Did he tell you the story about how he was
traumatized by a Radcliffe girl...
taking off her shirt,
suddenly revealing her largish breasts...
which he had never thought about before?
He tells that story all the time
to get sympathy and to justify himself...
as if he were the victim
of female aggressiveness and duplicity.
- That wasn't true?
- No, it was true.
He was the victim of female aggressiveness
and duplicity, but so was everyone else.
Not everyone then went on a rampage
exploiting the opposite sex.
He thinks his problem is
just that he falls in love a lot.
Well, a lot of people
fall in love a lot.
I'm really surprised
you'd be taken in by him.
You should notice I didn't answer
your original question.
My original question whether
you were absolutely committed to Des...
you didn't answer?
[ Alice ]
What does Ioon mean?
Des calls me that.
Loon. I sort of like it.
It's, uh, short for lunatic.
And also the lake bird
with the eerie call.
[ Imitates Loon Call ]
It's the other terms Des uses for me -
nutcase, freakazoid, et cetera - I kinda mind.
A lot of people like to say
they won't take no for an answer.
I just wanted you to know
that I'm not one of them.
I can be easily discouraged.
I will take no for an answer.
Okay. No.
- You don't mean that.
- No. [Laughs]
[ Woman]
I'm sorry. She's not in right now.
Okay, I'll have her call you back.
Thank you.
- Alice, sorry.
- What?
You'd better see Bob.
- [ Woman] Bob wants to see you right away.
- It's something bad?
The author of your Tibet book -
Doesn't exist. He's a fraud.
Carol thinks it could be worse
than the Clifford Irving case.
[Alice] Carol thinks it's as bad
as the Clifford Irving case.
Turns out the author isn't
the Dalai Lama's brother...
but a Los Angeles writer
named John De Simio.
It's a shame,
'cause it's a really good book.
Dan thinks it's one of the best things
ever written on Tibetan Buddhism.
- What a mess.
- I'm sorry I haven't been more of a help.
I've been a little preoccupied myself.
I'm late for my period.
- How late?
- A day.
- A day late, and you're worried?
- I'm sure I'm pregnant.
- Isn't that what you wanted?
- What do you mean?
I thought you said you wanted
to have Jimmy Steinway's babies.
Yeah, but not this way.
[ Disco]
I'm not an addict.
I'm a habitual user.
I'm sick of you and that nutcase
going around judging everybody.
Oh, he's an addict. He's basically honourable,
except for his treatment of women.
I am not a womanizer.
In fact, I hate womanizers.
In any case,
Alice completely changed all of that.
Shame, mmm
- Gonna love you just the same
- [ Charlotte ] isn't it a little morbid?
- Morbid?
- Why take on all that baggage?
Isn't he a bit of a sicko?
From the start
you know he's defective.
Usually you don't find that out
until much later.
And what if you have kids?
It can be hereditary.
One thing about Jimmy -
I know he'll make a good father.
There's always some problem,
some baggage.
Oh, my God. You're serious.
Well, not necessarily.
[ Intercom Buzzes]
[ Alice ]
Coming.
Tonight I'm gonna tell Jimmy.
Wish me luck.
You know, I think my father could have been
an undiagnosed manic-depressive.
Oh. Hi. Uh, do you know Josh
is downstairs waiting?
Yeah. Thanks. Bye.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Alice is so great.
- I've gotta be a better friend to her.
- Yeah.
Before leaving the D.A.'s office, I'd like at least
once the chance to use the expression...
Book this clown!
[Laughs]
I thought only police said that.
No, I think an A.D.A. could,
in certain circumstances.
Perhaps not very typical.
[Alice ]
Are you aware all your clothes are slightly big?
[Josh]
I'm still waiting for my growing spurt.
Both my father and brother
are over 83.
You can still grow in your 20s.
There are cases on record.
Tall people tend to have
great personalities -
this kind, compassionate comprehension
of the rest of the world.
My father and brother
are both that way.
- What's wrong?
- Just remembering something.
What?
It's kinda maudlin. It was here
my depression first descended.
Oh.
To the valiant seamen
who perished in the Maine...
by fate unwarned
and death unafraid.
Isn't this the strangest,
most forlorn monument?
[ Alice ]
Yeah. It's very sad.
What happened with your depression?
Nothing, at first. I just went back
to Cambridge very depressed.
Then there was the incident
at the Hayes-Bickford...
after which I was taken
to Mass. Mental for observation.
While there, I cut my hand
trying to open a stuck window...
and they put me on a suicide watch,
though I don't think I was ever really suicidal.
At least no more
than a lot of people that age.
But you're okay now.
Uh,yeah.
Actually, a lot of people spend
considerable sums of money...
to get the high I get absolutely naturally.
Now, with lithium, which is, in fact,
a naturally occurring salt...
I can stay on a perfectly even keel.
Perhaps too even.
Did they prescribe lithium right away?
Lithium wasn't so standard then. There was
a lot of muddling through various therapies.
Because my right hand was bandaged,
I used my left to write friends cards...
which was a mistake.
My handwriting looked weird
and really scared people.
I don't think I was ever that - that badly off,
but others might disagree.
Do you know the words to the hymn,
Dear Lord and Father of Mankind?
While I was in the hospital,
it became a sort of mantra.
Dear Lord and Father of mankind
forgive our foolish ways
Reclothe us in our rightful mind
In purer lives thy service find
In deeper reverence praise
Drop thy still dews of quietness
till all our strivings cease
Take from our souls
the strain and stress
And let our ordered lives confess
the beauty of thy peace
Breathe through the heat of our desire
thy coolness and thy balm
Let sense be dumb
Let flesh refine
Speak through the earthquake
wind and fire
Hold still, small voice of calm
What's wrong?
Think I'm a wacko?
[ Siren Wailing]
- [ Alice ] What's Wrong?
- I-l don't know.
Charlotte's in terrible pain.
It's her back.
[ Whispering]
No. Nothing happened. We were just talking.
About what?
Charlotte said she had something important
she wanted to talk to me about...
but before we got to that,
her period started.
Afterwards, I mentioned that it might be
a good time to start thinking about...
whether we were really right
for one another or...
we should start thinking about,
you know, breaking up.
[ Chattering ]
[ Alice ]
Josh hasn't called since that night.
- Of course he hasn't.
- What do you mean?
Oh, come on. You told me.
He sang a hymn or something.
You were totally weirded out.
I can't believe how intolerant you are.
Some of those old hymns are beautiful.
I've sung them on the street myself.
I didn't realize it was so controversial.
Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch
Like me
I once was lost
But now
I'm found
Was blind
But now
I see
'Twas grace that taught
My heart
To care)
And grace my fears
Relieved
How precious did
- Sorry.
- That grace appear
The hour
[ Holly] There are a couple
of alternatives that aren't that, that bad.
First, some guy who's already been around a lot
and almost certainly has it anyway.
So it'd be no problem.
In fact, it would give you something in common.
The other would be some guy
so idealistic and in love with you...
that he'd want to commit himself to you
prior to that step...
because his dream would be to be with you
forever, always, exclusively anyway.
I think Skip's a bit that way.
[ Chattering ]
[ Disco, Faint]
[ Knocking ]
[ Man]
Yes. We have two vans around the corner.
- What?
- I need to see Des. It's urgent.
- He's busy.
- He'll want to know this.
[ Continues]
Des? Des?
- Des, open up.
- I didn't let him in, Des.
- He got by me.
- Jesus Christ!
Are you out of your mind?
It's about to start. Get rid of all your gifts
and anything else you might have.
Oh.
Step aside. Coming through.
Excuse me.
[ Man]
I.R.S. This is not a raid.
Get this guy at the door.
We're on the list.
Our love is made in la dolce vita
Jesus Christ. You're not gonna
use that against me with Alice, are you?
Francesca was just feeling terribly needy tonight.
It has nothing to do with how I feel about Alice.
- You're not gonna take unfair advantage of that.
- Okay.
- All right. Let's go!
- Another flight,
Before we're drawn in darkness
Say you'll never leave me now
[ Hap ] This way, gentlemen!
All right, let's go.
- Say y0u're gonna love me now,
- Downstairs first. Harry. Jack.
[ Patrons Gasping, Laughing ]
[ Continues]
- [ Officer] Over here. This way.
- We made it down in la dolce vita
Wipe all your fears away
You can 7 touch those.
Those are my personal papers.
Yeah. Well, they're part of the premises now
and as such the warrant applies. Sam.
Another light
Before we're drawn in darkness
Say you'll never leave me now
Book this clown.
Say you're gonna love me now
[ Handcuffs Clicking]
[ Door Opens, Closes]
- Hi.
- Hi.
- What are you doing here in the dark?
- I was just resting.
Have you seen Josh at all?
Yeah.
- Is he okay?
- Sure.
Why wouldn't he be okay?
I don't know.
He hasn't called in a while.
Josh is a bit thin-skinned. He's the kind of guy
who will take no for an answer.
Sag Harbor.
Did you know I was sort of
infatuated with you then?
I assumed you preferred Tom.
Also, you seemed a little...
irritating.
How was I irritating?
Well, you weren't.
There's no chance of you getting
infatuated with me again, is there?
Just had to confirm that.
- Let me keep your passport for you.
- No!
[ Josh ]
Come on, help me out.
Should people just be allowed to steal
from each other and the government...
and out of selfishness or indifference or a kind of
fashionable cynicism the rest of us do nothing?
- I thought better of you than that.
- You did?
Well, wrong again.
Listen, you've got all their books and documents.
Why do you need me, who knew practically nothing?
This is the only body I've got.
[ Jimmy]
Bye, Josh! Kennedy Airport.
[Ska]
[Des ] Aren't you a bit of a oao' leaving town
with your girlfriend in the hospital?
- [ Jimmy] It might look that way.
- [ Des] But it isn't?
I've been through this before.
After graduation,
Laurie and I were gonna break up...
but the same day she came down
with terrible back spasms.
I hung around the hospital all summer,
I almost bankrupted her parents...
and as soon as I left town,
she recovered.
By going away and putting an ocean between us,
I. e., making a definitive break...
Charlotte's likely to recover much faster.
What makes you think putting an ocean
between you necessarily means a definitive break?
That's a depressing thought.
I'm gonna turn over a new leaf in Spain.
I'm gonna turn over several new leaves.
- [ Ska Continues]
- The meek shall inherit this Earth
You old jezebel
You know that Shakespearean admonition,
To thine own self be true?
It's premised on the idea that thine own self
is something pretty good...
being true to which is commendable.
But what if thine own self
is not so good?
What if it's pretty bad?
Would it be better, in that case,
not to be true to thine own self?
See? That's my situation.
The one I like is, E! tu, Brute?
There are different ways of being loyal.
Some may seem, on the surface, disloyal,
but they're not - there's a higher loyalty.
The way I see it,
Brutus was a good friend to Caesar.
By stabbing him in the back,
Brutus was a good friend to Caesar?
[ Sighs ] You know, I probably
should have stayed and testified.
Josh is right - Bernie is a bad guy,
probably worse than they know.
That's what Van thinks.
Van's cooperating.
Staying and cooperating
would have been the right thing to do...
but instead I'm running like a rat
because to thine own self be true.
- [Airplane Passes Overhead]
- [ Continues]
[ Fades]
They say I can probably
go home tomorrow.
Great.
There's something
I've been meaning to ask you.
Do you think Jimmy's going away could have
had anything to do with him, you know...
having some sort of bizarre,
pathetic crush on you?
I don't know.
Well, did he ever say anything?
- Yes.
- What?
Well, he -
'Why don't you love me instead of jerks
like Des and Josh?" That kind of thing?
I knew it.
You bitch!
I knew it was something like that!
I don't think I want to
room with you anymore.
Being around you
hasn't been good for me or my back.
I'd like you to move out.
I don't know how I'll afford it...
but my sanity and my integrity
are more important to me than money.
I have to start
looking out for myself now.
- Have you heard the news?
- No. What?
[ Exhales ]
They're selling the company.
- What?
- We're merging with Simon & Schuster.
There'll be the usual consolidation
and economies of scale.
A lot of us are gonna lose our jobs.
[ Alice ]
God, that's sad.
I love the company.
They've been so great to us there.
Well, I don't know.
We were exploited,
but they were nice about it.
Maybe it'd be good if they got rid of
some of the deadwood in that company...
particularly if it meant paying the rest of us
decently enough to live in this city...
with at least a modicum of privacy.
- Why don't we do something?
- Like what?
Well, at this time of day
employed people often have lunch.
- I can't. I've gotta go uptown.
- Why?
- Alice and I are having lunch.
- You're having lunch with Alice?
- Great. Let's all go.
- It's, uh, at Lutce.
You're on unemployment,
and you're taking Alice to Lutce?
Um, doesn't irrational expenditure
signal the start of a manic phase?
If it were my invitation you'd be right,
but it's not.
Alice is taking you to Lutce?
Why'd she take you?
Celebrating her promotion.
When Alice wants to celebrate something,
she calls you?
- Alice made editor?
- Associate editor.
What happened with her book?
I thought it was some kind of fiasco.
What Alice did, rather cleverly, was shift
the category from nonfiction to self-actualization.
The book jackets
hadn't been printed yet.
Reincarnation, life after death,
mumbo jumbo of all kinds...
has been highly commercial
throughout the history of book publishing.
The first printed book was the Bible.
Actually, I'm not upset I was laid off.
This will motivate me to get a better job in
television, which is where my interests truly lie.
I've watched television all my life.
If you're really interested in television, you should
come over and watch Wild Kingdom sometime.
Sure.
- Are you taking the E train?
- Yeah.
- [Man ] Two dollars. Thanks.
- Hey, Van!
- [ Charlotte ] What happened?
- The new owners couldn't make it work.
Finally had to hire people to stand outside
and pretend that they couldn't get in.
- Anyway, disco's over. It's dead.
- [ Des ] What do you mean?
People just aren't going out
like they used to.
They're tired.
Some are sick or strung out.
It's not just the prosecutions
and all the owners that Bernie squealed on.
- Could part of it be related to the herpes epidemic?
- Maybe.
I've got a friend at
Casablanca Records and Tapes...
and she says that like two months ago
the bottom dropped out of all disco record sales.
Suddenly it's dead, over.
God, that's sad.
We're getting older.
- We've lived through a period that's ended.
- [ Church Bells Chiming ]
- It's like dying a little bit.
- [ Continues ]
Disco will never be over.
It will always live
in our minds and hearts.
Something like this, that was this big and
this important and this great, will never die.
Oh, for a few years - maybe many years -
it'll be considered passe' and ridiculous.
It'll be misrepresented and caricatured
and sneered at, or worse, completely ignored.
People will laugh about John Travolta,
Olivia Newton-John, white polyester suits...
and platform shoes
and going like this...
but we had nothing to do with those things
and still loved disco.
Those who didn't understand
will never understand.
Disco was much more
and much better than all that.
Disco was too great and too much fun
to be gone forever.
It's got to come back someday.
I just hope it will be in our own lifetimes.
Sorry. I've got a job interview this afternoon
and I was trying to get revved up, but...
most of what I said
I, uh, believe.
I was pretty furious when you had
my passport lifted - confiscated at the airport.
But you were right.
I'm glad I stayed.
At least you saved me from being stuck in some
foreign city with the likes of Jimmy Steinway.
But there's one thing I don't get.
You did a good job with the prosecution,
getting Bernie to squeal that way.
Why'd they lay you off?
There was a conflict involving giving
preferential treatment to a friend...
which they felt I handled badly.
Oh.
Well, congratulate Alice for us.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Bye.
I don't envy her though,
stuck in book publishing.
Oh. Yeah.
Gotta get to unemployment and sign up.
Going to Florida this afternoon. So long.
- Bye.
- Bye.
One of the things that makes me happy in life
is knowing that I don't envy anyone.
I don't want to be anybody else
or do anything but what I'm doing...
which right now is nothing,
but I have good projects for the future.
- Can I speak honestly?
- Yeah.
You and I are similar.
We've both got big personalities.
That's good. The world, frankly,
needs more big personalities.
But perhaps ours burn too brightly...
are too big for people with normal,
healthy-sized personalities, like Alice...
or abnormal healthy-sized personalities,
like Josh...
or itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny,
polka-dot-bikini-sized personalities...
like Jimmy Steinway.
That's why I'm confident
I'll ultimately be successful in television.
Absolutely.
One of the problems of finding
the right person and settling down is...
it takes all the fun and interest
out of going to nightclubs.
If you're already living with somebody,
why bother going out?
Getting seriously involved with someone
really just means ruining your nightlife.
What I mean to say is...
Jimmy, Alice, Josh -
So what?
- That's what I say.
- I think I agree with you.
[ Disco]
[ Train Bell Chimes]
- J People all over the world J
- J Everybody J
- Join hands
- Join
Start a love train
Love train
- People all over the world,
- All the world now,
- Join hands
- Love ride
- Start a love train
- Love ride
Love train
The next stop that we make
Will be England
Tell all the folks in Russia
And China too
Don't you know that it's time
To get on board
And let this train
Keep on ridin'
Ridin' on through
Well, well
- People all over the world,
- You don 7 need no money,
- Join hands
- Come on
- Stan' a love train, love train
- Don't need no ticket, come on
- y People all over the world y
- y Join, ride y
- Join hands
- Ride this train, y'all
- Start a love train
- Come on
Love train
All of you brothers
Over in Africa
Tell all the folks in Egypt;
And Israel too
Please don't miss this train
At the station
'Cause if you miss it;
I feel sorry
Sorry for you
Well
- y People all over the world y
- y Sisters and brothers y
- Join hands
- Join, come on
- Stan' a love train, love train
- Ride this train, y'all, come on
- People all over the world,
- Don't need no ticket,
- Join hands
- Come on, ride
- Stan' a love train, love train
- Hey, hey
I Rid? f
Let it ride
Let it ride
- Let it ride
- Here, y'all, get on board
- y People all over the world y
- y This train y
- Join hands
- Come ride the train
- Stan' a love train, love train
- Yeah, love train
- y People all over the world y
- y Come on y
- y Join hands y
- y You can ride or stand y
- Start a love train
- Yeah
- J Love train J
- J Makin' love J
- People all over the world,
- Round the world, yell,
- Join hands
- Come on
- Stan' a love train, love train
- Yeah, ride on over to me
- People all over the world,
- That's fight,
- Join hands
- Ride to me
- Stan' a love train, love train
- Let's ride, I say let's go
- y People all over the world y
- y Come on, love train y
- y Join hands y
- y Join me and dance y
- Stan' a love train, love train
- Get on board
- y People all over the world y
- y Come on y
- Join hands
- Ride, ride, ride
[ Charlotte]
Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch
Like me
I once was lost
But now I'm found
Was blind
But now
I see
Twas grave,
That taught
My heart
To fear
And grace
My fears
Relieved
How precious did
That grace appear
The hour
I first
Believed