1
Well, it's been
Building up inside of me for
Oh, I don't know how long
I don't know why
But I keep thinking something's bound
To go wrong
But she looks in my eyes
And makes me realize
When she says
Don't worry, baby
Everything will turn out all right
Don't worry, baby
I guess I should've
kept my mouth shut
When I started
to brag about my car
But I can't back down now
Because I pushed
the other guys too far
She makes me come alive
And makes me wanna drive,
when she says
Don't worry, baby
Everything will turn out all right
Don't worry, baby
Everything will turn out all right...
What is all that crap
on the windshield?
It's ash from the fire.
This is where you're bringing me?
It's rent-free.
Before or after it burns down?
There's nothing to worry about.
The fire's way
on the other side of the lake.
I need a drink.
That's Al Kaiser.
There's Don Burke.
He lives here full-time.
Could use a little more lift
in that jump shot.
Girls, go in the house.
Fill up all the pots with water
and bring it on the front porch.
We're on it!
It's essential we remain
calm in a crisis.
I'd hardly call it a crisis, Mother.
This house has been
in my family for 83 years,
and it's not gonna burn up on my watch.
It can burn up on my watch.
Hey, it's not that often that you see
a beautiful woman on the roof.
Not nearly enough.
Mom loves this stuff.
So do I.
You're both crazy.
Mother!
If my phone's ruined, you're dead!
Mama!
Finny throwed water on Willow.
Girls, I don't want you
to play with the water.
All right.
This is it.
Does it have indoor plumbing?
It's a nice place.
Dog Dave wanted to sell it,
but I convinced him
to wait a couple months.
"Dog
Yeah, he used to have four dogs.
There's only one left,
but the name stuck.
Anyway, he said you could stay here
for the summer.
My good fortune.
Come on, Uncle Monte.
It'll be good for you.
You can spend
the whole summer relaxing,
taking in the beauty.
Nothing to do except
for look after the dog.
Make that nothing to do.
Well, he'll come back
when he's hungry.
Hopefully not.
My mother has the blazing
inferno under control.
It's okay to stand down, Mrs. O'Neil.
The fire's been contained.
Thanks for your cooperation, as always.
Thank you, Captain.
Finnegan throwed water on Willow.
Well, I'm sure she'll be
a good firefighter someday.
Just leave it there.
I can do it myself.
Don't need any help.
Nice to see
you're keeping your spirits up.
Here's your donut.
Is that all right?
Yeah, I got it.
Girls. It's not polite to stare.
Why don't we go in
and have some lunch, okay? Come on.
You wanna try it out?
I need a drink.
I'll get the typewriter.
Toss it in the garbage.
This might be
a good place to write.
She's a black-hearted whore,
and I'm done with her.
Aaah!
What's he yelling at?
Life.
All righty.
Just in case.
You want me to write?
I'll write.
Well, it's a start.
Here.
What, does this establishment
not provide its patrons with a proper glass?
Why bother?
If I start drinking straight out of the bottle,
young Henry,
I will have most assuredly surrendered
the last vestige of propriety
remaining in my life.
And I shall, by all accounts,
consider myself a lost cause.
Well, God knows we don't want that.
I stocked the pantry for the summer,
and there's plenty of Hungry-Man dinners
in the freezer.
Here.
You can use this if you need to.
Dog Dave left a note on the fridge
about when
you're supposed to feed Ringo.
And who is Ringo?
That's the dog.
What kind of name is that for a dog?
Well, it was John, Paul,
George, and Ringo.
Oh, clever.
Don't expect me to take messages
along with all the rest of my duties.
Hi, it's Dave.
That's me on drums.
Leave a message.
Monte, if you're there, pick up.
It's Joe Viola. We need to talk.
All right. I confess.
I gave Joe the number.
Hey, I got some interesting news.
So call me back, all right?
I think you should
hear what he has to say.
And what might be the topic
of that conversation?
Nobody cares
about a writer nobody reads.
Nobody reads you
because you don't write.
Drinking is
a very demanding profession.
And I can't hold down
two jobs at once.
You have always been
your own worst enemy.
What the hell did you
bring that for?
Well...
I wanna remember how proud Mary
was when they gave it to you.
And how you brought it
to the hospital
and hung it on the wall
for her to see
when she opened her eyes.
She was always there for you.
Till she wasn't.
Uncle Monte, she didn't leave you.
She had cancer.
She left me!
Well, there's more to life
than the way you're living it.
Stuff your ideas in the suggestion box
on your way out.
I'll be by to check on you.
And when you do, you'll
find me dead by my own hand,
a smoking Navy Colt Revolver
by my side,
and a note of farewell,
to no one in particular.
Sounds like a plan.
He screams a lot
'cause he's crazy.
I seen him swallow a rat
and then puke it up.
He likes to puke.
He sounds bulimic.
Stay outta my story.
He likes to chew
on spiders and cockroaches,
so he can puke his guts out
all over the floor.
But his favorite...
is big, fat, juicy worms.
Finn, don't scare her.
Shut up, Willow Tree.
I'm looking out for my family.
- Whatever.
- Now...
if he even looks at you,
you just make the sign of the cross,
just like with vampires.
Perfect.
You know what he likes
to do late at night?
What?
He looks for an open window,
sneaks in,
crawls right up
to where you're sleeping,
sticks out his long, slimy tongue,
and licks your feet.
Finn, stop it!
If you catch him licking
your feet, do not,
I repeat
do not open your eyes.
If he sees that you're awake,
he'll bite off a toe
and swallow it whole!
Dinner's ready.
Mother, Finn's scaring Flora again.
She keeps making up stuff
about the man at Dog Dave's,
says he eats worms.
Well, maybe he was hungry.
Poor Don.
Yeah, with all that basketball,
he was in such good shape.
That is why I always refrain
from any form of exercise.
You'll get to see him again.
He'll visit soon.
What's going on?
Flora misses Daddy.
Oh... I know, sweetie.
This has been hard on all of us.
But you know he's gonna visit soon.
Why can't you and Daddy
get married again?
Oh... I wish we could.
You know,
sometimes mommies and daddies
just can't be happy together.
I tried to explain that to her, but...
Are you happy now?
Oh...
I have my three girls...
and that's all I ever want.
Aaaah!
Mmm...
kindred spirit.
Ahh...
Ah, you must be the dog.
Be seated.
We have some things to discuss.
Dog Dave has left you
in my care for the summer.
Right off,
we're gonna change your name.
You are not some
rock 'n' roll icon from Liverpool.
You're a dog,
and you shall be named appropriately.
You will take pride in this name,
and one day, thank me.
I shall call you...
Spot
It's a good name...
even though you don't have spots.
It's not about spots,
as you will come to understand.
Now, I expect to witness
the finer side of your character.
If one of the local bitches is in heat,
she will remain so,
without any assistance on your part
to alleviate her condition.
That's generally
a good way to handle it.
Oh.
One more thing: no farting.
Peace and love.
Not now, Carl.
I've got work to do.
Me, too.
I hope you're ready for me,
Belle Isle,
'cause I'm coming for you.
Is this the Dollar Ride?
Good.
Does your transportation services
accommodate the handicapped?
Excellent, sir,
because if you did not
accommodate the handicapped,
I would sue
your unaccommodating ass.
Buenas dias, seoritas.
I don't know about you,
but this music makes me
feel like dancing.
Two Ding Dongs...
Bag of Cheetos...
And a box
of gluten-free Fruity Pebbles.
Will that be all?
Uh, I'll have another bottle
of your finest sour mash whiskey.
That will be $37.42.
Take it out of that.
So, it's Mahmoud, is it?
Yes, sir.
Here is your change.
- Uh-oh.
- What?
Classic check-out stand blunder.
What is?
In a word, Slim Jims.
Isn't that... two words?
You're taking
your eye off the ball, Mahmoud.
What ball?
I realize that it is considered
by many
to be an on-the-way-out kind
of item,
but I believe that
to be a rural myth.
Don't get me wrong.
If you have a hankering
for Slim Jims,
you'll hunt the store over,
but if not, a desperate display
like this improves no one's life.
What do you suggest?
Sunflower seeds.
Just a thought.
- Good day.
- Good day.
Come on.
You're such a good boy.
Hi.
We haven't formally met.
I'm Charlotte O'Neil.
Pleasure, Mrs. O'Neil.
Monte Wildhorn.
I should explain.
I have a rather long-standing
arrangement with Dave,
since he's away
a lot with his band.
And, while he's gone,
I take care of Ringo.
You're not, by any chance,
referring to Spot, are you?
Oh, a new name?
Well, I've known him
since he was a pup.
Well, there's a lot to be said
for enduring associations, Mrs. O'Neil,
but in the future,
I'd appreciate it
if you wouldn't walk my dog.
He's Dave's dog.
I'm not claiming to be
his biological father.
Oh... um...
This is Flora, my youngest.
Well, as long as you think
you can manage, Mr. Wildhorn.
And why wouldn't I be able
to manage, Mrs. O'Neil?
No reason.
Come here.
Oh, um, just so you know.
Uh, Ringo--
Um, sorry, Spot.
He tends to get stiff
in his hindquarters.
He needs daily exercise.
I'll take it under advisement.
Now, I'm willing to meet you halfway.
You miss Dave. I understand that.
But your friend Mrs. O'Neil
had no right to take you for a walk
without asking me first.
In the future, you will politely decline
all such invitations.
Is that clear?
Now that cannot be the response
to every admonishment.
Al Kaiser!
I'm just down the road.
Got the old outboard
in the driveway.
Where are my manners?
Do come in, Mr. Kaiser.
Can I offer you a Ding Dong?
Uh, sorry. I can't stay.
I'm having a memorial for Don
at my house.
Ah, the basketball aficionado.
Yes. It was quite a shock.
Yeah, well, not to me.
Well, I hope you can make it.
Uh, I didn't know the man.
Everybody's bringing something.
You know, potluck.
See you around 5:00.
I didn't know the man.
See you then!
Did I miss Daddy's call?
Daddy will call you
as soon as he has time, Willow Tree.
Daddy promised
to help me finish my raft.
I'm going to the island this summer.
What's so important
about that stupid island, anyway?
That's where the magic is.
You're delusional.
Willow.
I just don't understand
why I couldn't have stayed with Dad.
I'd like the two of you
to take the salad
down the block to Don's memorial.
I'm busy.
I'll go, Mama.
Thank you, Finn.
What do I do?
You offer our family's condolences,
and then you leave the salad
and come straight home.
What's condolences?
You say, "We're very sorry
that Don has passed,
but now he's with all of us."
He is?
Just drop off the salad
and look sad.
Ah, I'm so glad you made it.
I brought you Cheetos.
Nice touch. Welcome.
Uh, thanks.
There's plenty to eat,
and the beer is on ice,
just the way Don
would have wanted.
A lot of nice people here.
I think you'll like everybody.
I must say,
I'm a big admirer of your work.
Thank you.
I haven't been
a dog-sitter for very long.
No, I'm talking about
those Western novels you write.
I've got a copy of "Showdown
at Red Rock" around somewhere.
It's been out of print for years.
Uh, you mentioned beer?
Beer. Indeed I did.
Hi, Finn.
Sorry Don died. Here's a salad.
Don would've appreciated that.
And thank your mother for me.
You can add the salad to that table,
and be an angel
and drop that off, too.
One of the O'Neil girls.
Sweet kids.
Monte Wildhorn, may I present
Miss Finnegan O'Neil of Belle Isle.
Pleased to make
your acquaintance.
Can I get more beer?
Ah.
Mr. Wildhorn
writes about cowboys
in the Wild West.
Boy, I'll say one thing.
That Jubal McLaws
sure is quick on the draw.
Many cross his path.
Few live to tell about it.
Now, that's right,
like when Jubal had that shootout
with Deadshot Jim Watson
of Albuquerque.
Whoo!
Say, if I could find my copy
of "Showdown at Red Rock,"
would you sign it for me?
I would not, Mr. Kaiser.
I've always resisted becoming
part of the cult of celebrity.
However...
I will accept another beer.
Ah! All right. I respect that.
I'm not really from Belle Isle.
We only come here for the summers.
Is that so?
I live in Manhattan.
At least, I used to.
My dad and mom are
getting divorced,
so now my mom says
we have to live here all the time.
Hmm...
How come your mom let you
come to an event like this
all by your lonesome?
'Cause I'm 9 1/2 years old.
- Hmm, that's pretty old.
- I know.
My mom even lets me have
my own pocket knife.
You don't have no pocket knife.
- I do so.
- Do not.
My! my'
Look at that.
That must be about the finest
pocket knife I have ever seen.
You know, you can tell
a lot about a person's character
by the condition
of their pocket knife.
I'd say you were fearless.
What's his problem?
Oh, he's just being Carl Loop.
Willow says he's retarded,
but Mom says he's special.
Hmm. Well, whatever he is,
he's a fine dancer.
You write stories?
I used to.
My favorite story is
about aliens from outer space.
Mm. Extraterrestrials
have their place,
and I've met a few,
but you don't have to leave this planet
to tell a good story.
How...
How do you make 'em up?
Imagination.
The most powerful force
ever made available to humankind.
Here you go.
Hey, Monte, I'm no professional,
but I wrote this speech for Don,
but I'll never be able
to get through it.
I was gonna ask you
to read it out loud.
I've always had a disdain
for public displays
of sentimentality, Mr. Kaiser.
Hey, who doesn't?
Don would be so pleased.
Didn't know the man.
Monte has something
he wants to read to us about Don.
So, if you would, just step outside
as quickly as you can.
Thank you so much.
He's very excited about this.
Hi, nice to see you.
I didn't get a chance to say hello.
Oh, I didn't know you were here.
Hi. Welcome.
All right, people,
this is a sad and happy occasion.
Thanks for coming here.
Everybody please say hello
to Monte Wildhorn.
"'Jesus H. Christ."'
"According to our friend Karen Loop,
"that's how most people
around the lake reacted
"when they heard the news
of Don's passing.
"That's not such a bad obit.
"Concise. Even rather eloquent.
"Don would've approved.
"There are people in life you avoid,
"and others you go
out of your way to bump into.
"Don had that bump-into quality
about him,
"which is why nobody ever ducked
when they saw Don coming.
"He took beer very seriously.
"It had to be Pabst Blue Ribbon.
"If it couldn't be Pabst,
"it at least had to be cold.
"As good as Don was,
"I think he only got better
once he found the Belle.
"There just might be something special
about this place.
"It don't happen too often,
but sometimes
"we do bring out
the best in each other.
"We'll miss you, Don.
Watch over us."
Don't change a word.
The man at Dog Dave's writes stories
about cowboys in the Wild West.
He does?
Yeah... not about space aliens.
No aliens?
Mm-mm.
You know, you don't have
to go off this planet
to tell a good story.
Mama, when we get home,
can I work on my raft?
No, you promised
you'd clean your room.
Well, Jesus H. Christ!
Ms. O'Neil.
That is a most unbecoming
use of language.
Mr. Kaiser wrote it about Don.
You're not Mr. Kaiser.
Am I in trouble?
You most certainly are,
and your punishment
is to memorize three new words
and define them for me
by dinner Friday.
And I expect to be impressed.
You will be. I promise.
Hmm.
Who does your taxes?
I am currently
without an accountant, Mrs. Loop.
Karen.
I have aspired for years
to someday attain the poverty level.
Having recently achieved my goal,
I'm not in need
of such services just now.
I always get my clients a big refund.
You have a positive outlook
on life, Karen.
This is our place.
Thanks for walking us home.
You and the boy
on your own out here?
My old man took off
after Carl was born.
I'm sorry to hear that.
It's no great loss.
Well, if there's anything I can do.
Carl never gets any phone calls.
It would be nice for him
to get a phone call.
Here's my business card.
It's got our home number on it.
Telephone's a damn nuisance.
Ain't got no use for it.
And them people on cell phones
oughta be shot dead in the street.
Hey, Carl.
How'd you like to be
my faithful sidekick, Diego Santana?
Wanted for train robbery
in three territories.
I am?
Railroad Pinkertons
are hot on our trail, amigo.
How do I be Diego?
Well, for starters,
lose the bunny hop.
Yeah, I'm touched by your concern.
Thank God I'm still drinking.
Saves me the humiliation
of falling off the wagon.
I need three words.
Have we met?
Did I extend an invitation?
No.
I didn't think so.
You know a lot of good words
'cause you write stories.
I need three good ones
for my mom.
I lost all my good words
a long time ago.
What about imagination?
Should I use that one?
Last time I checked,
it was still available.
Can you teach me
to write stories?
You are awfully demanding.
All right, Spot.
Time for our morning dose.
There you go.
That's a good boy.
How come you give him aspirin?
Uh, it seems Spot has developed
some stiffness in his hindquarters.
And aspirin helps that.
I'm not exactly sure,
but long as he thinks it does,
that's half the battle, isn't it?
How come you don't
write on a computer?
I'm gonna answer your question
in return for blessed silence.
Look at that machine.
I like that you have to write
a bit slower on a manual.
I like the way it sounds.
I like the way the letters
bite into the paper.
I like that you can feel
there's a genuine human being
doing the work-- Hands off.
What's that?
Buckaroo. What's a Buckaroo?
It's an award for literary excellence.
"Western Authors Academy.
Best Western novel.
"'The Saga of Jubal McLaws.'
Presented to Monte Wildhorn. 1975."
Cool. Did you give
a speech when you won?
Yes, ma'am, I did.
Who'd you thank?
My one true love
and three bartenders.
How come you can't walk?
Who says I can't?
Why are you in a wheelchair?
Can you keep a secret?
Even if they torture me.
I'm attempting to defraud
the Liberty Mutual
insurance conglomerate
out of a million dollars.
What's defraud?
Cheat, snooker, fleece, bamboozle.
So you can walk?
I can run.
But I have to be careful.
If those Liberty Mutual boys
catch me
while I'm out for a quick jog,
it's all over.
I can kiss that million bucks
good-bye
and say hello
to Yuma State Prison.
You could go to jail?
Oh, yeah.
But what's jail?
As John Milton once said,
"The mind is its own place."
So what do those, uh,
Liberty Mutual boys look like?
Suits.
Suits, huh?
I'll make you a deal.
You teach me about imagination,
and I'll keep a lookout.
That might be asking too much.
I can pay you,
$34 and 18 cents in cash.
I saved it up.
And what exactly would
you want for your money?
I wanna know
where stories come from.
Ah...
you want a mentor.
A what?
You absolutely sure you want to set foot
into such a mysterious realm?
I'm sure.
You may get lost in there
and not be able to find
your way back.
You said I'm fearless.
That I did.
- So, we got a deal?
- My word is my bond.
Great.
So, when's my first lesson?
You just had it.
Huh?
I can't walk.
What do you mean?
I mean, I can't walk.
I just made up a story.
Really?
Really.
You're kind of a jerk.
Did you picture me running?
Yeah.
Did you see those men
in suits coming after me?
Yeah.
So did I.
That's imagination.
- But you--
- Class dismissed.
We'll have
another lesson tomorrow.
Okay.
I still think you're a jerk.
Fair enough.
"Jubal McLaws."
You got my last Wildhorn there.
It's gonna run you 35 cents.
It's discounted because
it's missing the last page.
Somebody tore it
right out of the book.
That's okay. I'll take it.
What would you say if we extend
a dinner invitation this evening
to our local author?
- Yes, Mama, please!
- Oh, God.
But he only eats worms, Mama.
Flora, Finn was just teasing you.
I think it would be good
for you ladies
to experience a literary man.
How do you expect that to happen?
He needs a ramp.
We're not exactly handicap-friendly.
I'll build it.
Thank you, Finn.
Let me know if I can help.
It's Dad.
Maybe he'd like
to come to dinner tonight.
I wanna talk.
After me. Hi, Dad.
When am I gonna see you?
Dad's coming the weekend
of Flora's birthday.
Tell Dad he has to finish my raft.
When's the weekend
of my birthday, Mama?
It's in August, baby.
- When's that?
- Soon.
Tell your father I'll call him back.
No, he wants to talk to you now.
Not while I'm driving.
Today, I will introduce
our summer athletic program.
The traditional game of fetch,
which I'm sure
you are familiar with.
I hold in my hand
a Major League baseball.
You might be interested to know, sir,
that before I lost
the use of my left arm,
I was known to possess
a mean cut fast ball.
Therefore, my affinity
for this wondrous sphere
should come as no surprise.
Fetch.
I see the concept
of fetch eludes you.
I blame Dave for that.
For the record,
this will be the last time
I fetch the ball.
When do we start?
Start what?
My imagination.
$34 and 18 cents. It's all there.
Uh, yeah.
Well, no time like the present.
What do you see up this street?
Nothing. Just a street.
Okay, try telling me
what you don't see.
Huh?
What don't you see?
I just told you.
Work with me.
See with your mind's eye.
Well, I sure don't see
no cowboy riding a horse.
Well, if you're
looking for Jubal,
you'll never see him.
Why not?
Gotta look for your own things.
How do I do that?
Keep lookin'.
I Paid you.
There's a mystery
to making things up, kiddo,
and life offers no guarantees.
You got till the end of the summer,
or I want my money back.
Well, I've always done my best
when working under a deadline.
You're invited over for dinner tonight,
precisely at seven.
Oh, dear.
Hey, Finn.
Oh, hi, Carl.
I'm not Carl.
I'm Diego Santana...
train robber and faithful sidekick.
Whose sidekick?
The man at Dog Dave's.
What are you doing?
Building a ramp for Monte.
Who's Monte?
The man at Dog Dave's.
I'm his sidekick.
Good, then you can
help me build this.
I can do that.
Hey, Uncle Monte. It's Henry.
Just calling to see
how that whole killing yourself thing
is working out for you.
It's temporarily postponed.
Oh. Well, the summer's young.
An invitation has been
extended for dinner.
Next door.
I've accepted.
What, the beautiful woman
from the roof?
- The very same.
- Well, that's great!
You know what to do?
Eat?
Just bring her something nice.
Pick some flowers.
Too conventional.
Well, you'll figure it out.
I'm guessing you didn't
call Joe Viola back.
Correct.
Why don't you just listen
to what he has to say?
Not interested.
You take care of yourself,
Uncle Monte.
Not interested.
Okay, bye, Uncle Monte.
Bye, young Hen")!-
Oh.
As I recall,
it's improper to arrive empty-handed.
A mirror?
I figure a house full of ladies
could always use another one.
Well, thank you.
This is quite a unique gift.
Do come in, Mr. Wildhorn.
Thank you.
I didn't think you'd mind
if Spot came along.
He's always welcome.
May I take your hat,
Mr. Wildhorn?
Why, thank you, Flora.
Ladies, please see
Mr. Wildhorn to the table.
I hope you like chicken.
Never had a chicken
do me wrong.
Finn tells me you write books.
It's been a while.
No texting at the table,
okay, Willow?
I always felt like a book is...
a friend that does
what no friend can do.
Stay quiet when you wanna think.
Would you care
for some wine, Mr. Wildhorn?
Ordinarily, I don't indulge,
Mrs. O'Neil,
but since I may
work my way up to a toast,
I think maybe a glass of wine
might be in order, just this once.
You'll have to excuse me
if I don't get up.
I started reading
"The Saga of Jubal McLaws."
It's really cool.
Oh, one of my kinder reviews.
I got it cheap 'cause
it didn't have the last page.
Oh, you're not missing much.
I always meant to rewrite
that page anyway.
Are all your books about the West?
Pretty much.
I love horses.
I used to ride when I was a child.
Can you pass the gravy, please?
Good horse is half the dream.
What's the other half?
Your knight in shining armor.
Do you know any stories
about elephants?
Flora loves elephants.
I'm afraid I'm not a reliable source
when it comes to pachyderms.
How did Jubal come to be
the man who rides alone?
He didn't have much choice.
The end of the Civil War,
Jubal rode home to Texas
to be reunited with his family.
It took a good many years
before he could bring himself
to mention the ghastly sight
that awaited him
when he arrived back
at the old homestead.
What happened?
Comanche raiding party.
His papa's horse
had been gut shot,
pin-cushioned with arrows
and left to suffer.
He found his beloved mother
outside the cabin,
her head nearly severed,
her stomach ripped open.
Remember, girls, it's just a story.
Just a story?
I only meant
that it didn't really happen.
It happened to Jubal.
Mashed potatoes, Mr. Wildhorn?
Sweet old place
you've got here, Mrs. O'Neil.
Belonged to my grandparents,
then my mom.
I spent my summers here
growing up.
Well, I prefer growing up in the city,
but instead,
I'm being held prisoner here.
Are you ready
for my three words, Mama?
If you're prepared.
Can I be excused?
You may not. Go ahead, Finn.
One, imagination:
the process of forming
a mental image of something
never before perceived
by the imaginer in reality.
Besides being
the most powerful force
ever made available for humankind.
Two,
bamboozle:
to deceive or get the better
of somebody by trickery.
Cheat, fleece, or snooker.
And your third word?
Mentor:
a trusted counselor
or guide, tutor or coach.
Interesting choices.
I'm gonna be seven this summer.
You can come to my party.
Flora, he doesn't want to.
Finnegan. It's August 15th.
And you're under no obligation.
To the contrary.
I greatly appreciate being included
in your celebratory plans
and I will be sure to mark
that special day on my calendar.
Who plays the piano?
I've been trying to teach
these three, to no avail.
Do you appreciate music,
Mr. Wildhorn?
Oh, yes, ma'am, I do.
In my younger days, I was
often complimented for my voice.
Would you like to sing for us?
It's the least I can do.
Now may I be excused?
No. Mr. Wildhorn's
going to favor us with a song.
Oh, a captain born in Halifax
Who dwelt in country quarters
Seduced a maid
who hanged herself
Next morning in her garters
I don't think I know that one.
Well, okay...
play something you do know.
Um, well...
it's not a song, exactly.
But... here goes.
Mmm, I would leave
all my windows open
to hear that kind of playing.
That would be
one of my kinder reviews.
He's telling me
I've outstayed my welcome.
All right, girls.
Let's say good night to Mr. Wildhorn.
Good night, Monte.
Oh, good night, Flora.
I'll be ready first thing
in the morning.
For what?
- You know.
- Oh, oh, oh. All right.
Yeah, thanks for the reminder.
Girls, you can clear the table.
You too, Willow.
Mrs. O'Neil,
I want to thank you
for a very lovely evening.
I don't believe I have ever
heard Beethoven's Pathetique Sonata
played with such affection.
You know the piece.
Well, when I was writing,
I listened to all kinds of music.
Mr. Wild horn.
Why did you stop writing?
Same reason I gave up religion.
God confided in me
that he's an atheist.
Did your Jubal McLaws
ever love a woman?
Well, Jubal always got the girl,
but he only fell in love once.
That's more than some.
Did they live happily ever after?
No.
He lost her to the influenza
in "Cattle Wars."
And he never fell in love after that?
How could he?
I think Jubal has
quite a hold on you.
Well, all the things I couldn't do
in the real world,
Jubal let me do on the page.
Good night, Mrs. O'Neil.
Thanks for the chicken dinner.
You owe me a toast, Mr. Wildhorn.
I'm good for it.
Your behavior tonight
was exemplary.
As a result, I'm going
to lift the ban on farting.
A captain born in Halifax
Who dwelt in country quarters
Seduced a maid
who hanged herself
One morning in her garters
Fetch.
Maybe it's the word "fetch"
that doesn't resonate.
Perhaps "retrieve" will stimulate
some long-dormant instinct.
Retrieve.
Retrieve.
It still just looks like a street.
You're holding back.
I'm not.
I can't do this.
It's not what I hear.
What?
Well, word about town
is that I'm known
to consider earthworm
something of a delicacy.
Where did--?
I have my sources.
But I didn't know you then.
You know, I was just--
Using your imagination.
Hello?
Hi. This is Monte Wildhorn.
Oh, hi, Monte?
Is your boy there?
The boy?
Oh. Oh. Hold on. Hold on.
Carl! It's the phone.
- The phone!
- What is it, Mom?
It's a phone call, for you.
It is? Who is it?
Well, find out.
This is Carl Loop.
Oh. I must have the wrong number.
I was looking for Diego Santana.
I'm Diego Santana.
All right, then.
Saddle up, amigo.
We're riding into town.
Mom, we're riding into town.
Do you always wear a white hat?
I wear a white hat, Diego,
so the folks can tell the good guys
from the bad guys
in case of gun play.
What's with the goggles?
Then no one knows I'm Carl.
Good thinking.
Now if you'll be kind enough
to slide the case of spirits
on to my lap,
this business will be concluded,
and we can catch up
on each other's personal lives.
I would be looking forward to it.
What happened to the Slim Jims?
What's your income
this year, Monte?
I estimate my gross income
at $34 and 18 cents.
A good portion of which
I've invested with Mahmoud.
Sometimes
I wanna pull my pants down.
Join the club.
You gonna drink all that?
I have every intention of doing so.
Why?
'Cause I'm a drunk,
and that's what we do.
Get drunk enough,
you'll cry over anything.
Real tears are a useful way
of getting to a place.
What place?
Anywhere you need to go.
Now look out there and tell me
what's not there,
and make me interested.
I see...
I see...
a girl walking by the lake.
How old is she?
What does she look like?
What is she wearing?
She's ten years old,
and she's got a ponytail.
What's she doing?
She's looking behind her.
Why?
'Cause there's a man following her.
So what does she do?
She starts running.
He chases her.
Does he catch her?
No. She gets away.
How?
She runs to her neighbor,
Al Kaiser's house
and disappears around the back.
When the bad guy gets there,
all he sees is one
of her sneakers lying in front
of an open door that leads
down to the cellar.
When the bad guys goes down
the stairs to grab her,
she jumps out
from behind the big oak tree
where she's been hiding and lifts
that heavy door off the ground
and closes it on top of him,
and before he can escape,
she grabs the rake
Al Kaiser keeps by the door
and slides it through the handles,
which traps the bad guy
until the cops come
to take him away.
Congratulations.
You just made up your first story.
I know, 'cause Carl Loop and me,
we always used to hide there
when we didn't want our mothers
to know where we were.
Good instincts.
You draw
from your own experiences.
Now what?
You work me too hard.
Class dismissed.
Okay. See ya.
Hey, Mom, Mom!
I wrote a story!
I wrote a story!
I'm one hell of a mentor.
Monte, you know
that dancehall gal, Miss Gussy?
The one that runs
the saloon in all your books?
I do.
I'm surprised she and Jubal
never got together.
Tell you the truth,
I was surprised too.
But then, who among us
truly knows the ways of love?
You got that right, sir.
- Mama.
- Yes?
I don't wanna paint anymore.
Okay, birthday girl.
What do you wanna do?
I wanna go jump
Go jump
However, we cannot leave
Mr. Wildhorn half done.
Thank you.
Listen, lady, I gotta be
outta here by 3:00.
It was my understanding
I had you for the entire day.
Yeah, well, I got a 4:00
on the other side of the lake.
Mama, look what I made for Flora.
I'm testing it for her.
Oh, okay. Take it easy with that.
Be careful with that, Finn, okay?
I don't wanna see
any one-eyed daughters.
Okay.
Oh, excuse me.
Jack, where are you?
It started over an hour ago.
All right, hang on.
Hey, Flora. Hey, honey.
It's Daddy for you.
Yay.
He's not coming.
I don't know why I'm always surprised.
I just...
I guess I keep hoping
for the sake of the girls.
Daddy's not coming.
Oh, hey, baby girl, let's go jump.
I don't wanna jump.
Dad said it would be okay
if I came up to stay with him.
Willow,
we are not doing this again.
There's nothing for me to do here.
All my friends are in the city.
You know,
he can't even show up
for his own daughter's birthday party.
Maybe he just didn't
want to see you.
That's enough.
Why don't I just go and talk
to Flora for a minute?
Okay.
I'm looking for the birthday girl.
You know where I can find her?
I'm the birthday girl.
Oh, good.
'Cause I got something for you.
What is it?
It's your birthday present.
I think it's here. Where'd I put it?
Ah, there it is.
Happy birthday.
What is it?
It's a story.
About what?
About an elephant named Tony.
Well, he said he was a friend of yours,
and he asked me
to write it down for him.
Is Tony a real elephant?
Yes, ma'am, he sure is.
Thank you so much!
Mom! Look what I got!
Man, that is one hot lady.
If she was my woman,
I'd never let her leave the bed.
You know what I'm talking about.
Time to go to work.
Hey, you like magic tricks?
I'll do one for ya.
Can you make yourself
disappear, Mr. Clown?
Don't call me "Mr. Clown."
I happen to be The Amazing Ted.
Whatever you say, Mr. Clown.
Asshole.
You got my name right.
It's magic time!
Hey! Come on, kids.
Gather 'round.
Magic time!
Pay close attention,
because at no point
do my hands ever leave my arms.
Huh?
Now who here likes rabbits?
I do!
It slipped.
Son of a bitch!
Hey! Hey!
You spoiled little brat!
Hey! That castle's
how I make my living.
- Jesus Christ!
- Help, Mom!
Everybody get away from there
before you make it worse!
Somebody get
that fat kid outta there!
What the hell's he doing
in there in the first place?
It's for little kids.
He weighs, like, 900 pounds!
Let me tell you something.
You haven't heard the last of this.
I got stuck.
You don't think
clowns have lawyers?
You better think again,
'cause you're about to be
hearing from my lawyer.
Reach for the sky, you mud-sucking
yellow sidewinder.
All right, Jesus.
Easy, man. Shit, don't shoot.
I'm so gonna hear
from the parents on this one.
The Amazing Ted,
or Mr. Clown?
Which do you prefer
on your tombstone?
Oh, tombstones?
Why's he talking about tombstones?
If you wanna continue
your useless existence,
I strongly urge a sincere apology
to Miss Finnegan O'Neil.
Okay. Okay.
I'm sorry.
I'm really, really sorry.
apology accepted.
Now, git!
Oh!
Well, birthday cake, anyone?
Me!
Did you have fun today?
I liked it
when Monte shot my clown.
Oh, well, baby,
Mr. Wildhorn didn't
really shoot your clown.
He just, well,
wanted to get his attention.
Can you read me
the elephant story?
I don't see why not. You ready?
Ready.
Okay.
"Once upon a time,
"inside a finely-tuned piano
in an old house
"there lived a family of mice.
"They had everything mice
could possibly want in the world
"because this mouse family
had wisely invested
in The Cheesecake Factory."
"Mrs. Mouse made sure their home
was always filled with music
"by jumping up and down
on the keyboard.
"The only problem they had
was the cat that lived
in the house with them."
Is the cat gonna eat the mouses?
Oh, well, let's hope Mr. Wildhorn
isn't taking the story in that direction.
Oh, well, bless you, sweetheart.
Thank you.
"One day, on the brightest
of summer mornings,
the littlest mouse heard
a knock at the front door."
Who's there?
"She opened the door,
"and there standing before her
was the grandest elephant
"ever seen by a little mouse,
"or any mouse for that matter.
"'I'm pleased to meet you.
My name is Tony.
"'I heard the beautiful music
and wanted to see where
it was coming from."'
"Tony, a traveling magician by day
"and an opera singer by night,
"cast a magic spell
"so the mice would be
invisible to the cat.
"This made
the mouse family feel very safe
"and everyone was very happy.
"Mrs. Mouse was so happy
"that when it was time
for Tony to leave,
"she scampered
all the way up his trunk
"and gave him
a kiss on the cheek.
Tony promptly fainted."
I think this elephant likes me.
Well, I suppose I could smear
the ball with peanut butter,
but that would be
beneath your dignity...
and mine.
Well, this isn't
your first raft, Mrs. O'Neil.
Finn did most of the work,
with a little help from Diego Santana.
Ah.
Where is everybody?
Karen took them into town
for some ice cream.
You didn't get to go?
It was a plot.
So I could finish the raft.
She's had her heart set
on sailing to the island this summer...
and school starts in three weeks.
I see.
Flora greatly appreciated
"The Elephant Who Stays Forever."
I was hoping she'd like it.
She made me read it to her
several times,
and she asked me
if you would write more Tony stories.
Well... I wouldn't
want to disappoint her.
Hi, it's Dave.
That's me on drums.
Leave a message.
Monte, it's Joe again.
It's really important
you call me back.
Important for who?
- Willow...
- No, thanks.
Come on, Willow. This is gonna
be the adventure of a lifetime.
Of a lifetime.
Finnegan is not going to that island
without her big sister.
Fine.
A swing.
Will you push me, Willow?
Sure, Carl. Hop on.
Whee-hee!
Whoo!
Higher. Whee-hee.
Hang on!
Push harder.
- Fun?
- Yeah!
Oh!
I think I'm drowning!
Carl! Carl, it's shallow.
Just stand up.
Help me!
Carl, it's shallow.
You're not drowning.
That was close.
Whoa.
What is it, Finn?
It's a lunchbox.
I found it on the island.
What's inside?
I haven't opened it yet.
Why not?
Because there might
not be anything good in it.
This way, I can think there's
something good even if there's not.
Do you know how stupid
that sounds?
No. It's like what Monte says,
seeing what's not there.
I'll open it.
I wanna see what is there.
Maybe it's money.
Might be a chopped off hand,
Willow Tree.
Don't open it!
Wow... Look at all this stuff.
Look, it's a diary.
"Property of Charlotte Reilly,
Seventh Grade."
- Who's that?
- That's Mama!
Probably everything
we wanna know about her
when she was a kid is in here.
What do we wanna know about her?
We should probably
give it back to her.
I think she'd want it back.
We should make her a sandwich.
Lovely day, Mr. Wildhorn.
Yes, ma'am. It's shaping up to be
a considerably lovely day.
More Tony?
Yes, ma'am.
I'm sure Flora will be delighted,
and I will read this to her
tonight at bedtime.
Good.
Thank you.
Spot, that lady has a way
of making me sit taller in the saddle.
Flora, look
what Mr. Wildhorn gave me.
Tony the Elephant?
Who's Tony the Elephant?
Mr. Wildhorn wrote a story
for Flora's birthday.
He did what?
Read Tony, Mommy.
- Let me see that!
- No, no. We'll read it tonight.
Today, I want all of you girls to go outside
and play in the fresh air.
Come on.
We can ride into town.
Monte! Monte!
Monte! I'm calling you out!
You gave up Jubal McLaws
for an elephant?
You told me Jubal saved your life!
Then you shoot him in the back!
Oh, now, hold on.
I don't call writing about an elephant
shooting Jubal in the back.
Jubal hasn't come calling in years.
I can't write what's not there.
You tell me to see what's not there.
Why can't you write what's not there?
You're a no-good drunk and a liar!
Finnegan!
He's a damn bamboozler, Willow!
Mr. Wild horn?
My sister believes
you're something special.
Are you something special?
Can't say that I ever
thought of myself like that.
Well, you'd better be.
'Cause otherwise,
you don't deserve Finnegan.
I really hope you two make up,
because I'd hate to see you
lose a friend like her.
"Sometimes,
talking to people wasn't easy for Tony.
"So he kept writing letters
to Mrs. Mouse,
"faithfully delivered
by the tree toad.
"Then a really amazing elephant
thing happened.
"When elephants find
they're too nervous to speak,
"they begin to dance.
"Tony loved to waltz.
"And before he even realized it,
"he found himself waltzing
with Mrs. Mouse
under the warm moonlight."
"'8 Open!
Hello, Joe. Been expecting you.
You might want to return a phone call
every once in a while,
especially to someone
you've known so long.
How's the book business, Joe?
Nobody reads unless
they can download.
Why wouldn't you
want to hold a book?
You've got a dog!
Yeah, I'm dog-sitting
for the summer.
You seem different.
You're not, uh... yourself.
Sober, you mean?
Well, I've stopped before.
And I'll probably start up again.
But right now, I'm seeing things
with a clear eye.
And quite frankly, I like the view.
What can I do for you, Joe?
I've come here today
to change your life.
You'll collect
your usual commission for that?
I certainly do.
I brought Luke Ford with me.
He's waiting outside.
The Luke Ford?
The Luke Ford.
You mind if I invite him in?
Be impolite not to.
That's what I was thinking. Luke?
Luke, why don't you join us?
Come meet
the great Monte Wildhorn.
Sorry, for just showing up like this,
but Joe said it was the only way
I might get to meet you.
I'm Luke Ford.
You certainly are.
I'm really pleased
to make your acquaintance.
Have a seat.
Luke is the reason
that I've been trying
to get a hold of you all summer.
I know you wanted your space,
but he's been rather insistent
on acquiring the rights
to Jubal McLaws.
- Is that right?
- How about that, huh?
Well, Jubal's not for sale.
Oh, come on now. Hear him out.
He is just trying to make you
a rich son of a bitch.
I'm already a son of a bitch.
And I don't care to be rich,
but thanks for thinking of me.
This could be
a real fresh start for you.
Granted, you'll have to take
a sabbatical from the dog-sitting.
I like dog-sitting.
Monte, I'm a huge fan
of the old Westerns,
and I'm convinced that
there's still some life left in the genre.
"The Saga of Jubal McLaws"
is the best Western novel I ever read.
If you allow me,
I'd be honored to be the one
to bring Jubal to life.
All due respect, Mr. Ford,
but my late wife has already
pulled off that miracle.
Then consider your readership--
this movie gets produced,
they'll increase a thousand fold.
Isn't that what you always wanted?
I thought it was.
Mr. Ford, I appreciate your taking
the time to come out here, I really do.
If ever there was a man
to play Jubal, you'd be him.
But right now,
I'm in a pretty good...
Most times, real life doesn't measure up
to what's in our heads,
but every now and then,
it comes pretty close.
You happened to catch me in one
of those rarefied moments.
So if it's all the same to you,
I'll stick with real life for a spell.
You're making a big mistake,
and I gotta tell you,
this could be your last chance.
I don't believe in last chances, Joe.
I've had too many of them.
- Monte!
- Joe...
meeting's over.
It's real nice meeting you.
That's pretty.
It's Mrs. O'Neil, next door.
Real fine lady.
Right now, she's talking to me.
And if you don't mind,
it's a personal conversation.
Mr. Wild horn,
it's a pleasure
not doing business with you.
How much longer are you here?
Couple of weeks.
Fixed all right for cash?
Same as always.
That's what I thought.
No, thanks, Joe.
You take care.
I believe you owe me
a toast, Mr. Wildhorn.
Here's to you,
Mrs. O'Neil, and a face
that gives the moonlight
something worth shining on.
What do you want
out of life, Mr. Wildhorn?
I'd settle for more nights like this.
I told my girls
that one of the great pleasures
life has to offer is
their own search after the heart.
Yes, ma'am.
What would the woman
who captures your heart be like?
She'd have your way
of walking into a room.
How do I do that?
It's sunny outside.
There's a light rainfall.
You know how it feels
when a warm breeze comes with the rain?
That's how you walk into a room.
That's some kind of walking
I'd have to do
to be worthy of such lovely words.
And I'd like her to have your ears.
My ears?
If you don't mind me
saying so, Mrs. O'Neil,
your ears look like
they can handle the soft whisper.
And if you don't mind my inquiring,
Mr. Wildhorn,
what would the whisper be?
Well, it would be different every night.
Maybe you could whisper
it in my ear while we dance.
I have it on good authority
that you love to waltz.
And so I do.
Mr. Wildhorn?
Uh, I'll be right there!
Just a minute. Just a minute.
I'll be right there.
If it's too early, I can come back.
Oh, no, no, no.
Not at all. Not at all.
Ah, Mrs. O'Neil.
What a pleasant surprise.
What can I do for you?
I have something
of a favor to ask you
if it wouldn't be too much
of an imposition.
After the way you played the piano
last night, no favor is too big.
Thank you.
It's just that I have to go into the city
for the day to meet with the lawyers.
Jack and I have a few final things
to work out.
I was wondering if you might
stay with the girls until I get back.
It shouldn't be too late.
You want me to baby-sit?
If you wouldn't mind.
No, no.
No, I accept the challenge.
Wonderful.
Thank you, Mr. Wildhorn.
There's a casserole
in the fridge for dinner.
And if you need to reach me,
the girls have my cell number.
Okay, now, I should be home
before you go to bed,
but Mr. Wildhorn
agreed to stay with you.
It's okay, Mom.
I can take care of everything.
Yeah, Mom.
We don't need any help.
Willow can watch us.
I know, this is just in case.
And I expect you to behave
like ladies while I'm gone.
Oh, good luck.
Oh, don't worry about us.
You go and fight your battles.
We'll protect the homestead.
Okay!
Who's up for some high-stakes poker?
Five-card draw.
Deuces and one-eyed jacks wild?
I'll play
How much you got?
Mom! Mom, wait!
Is Dad gonna be there?
Or is it just the lawyers?
Dad will be there.
Will you say hello for me?
Of course.
I love you, Mom.
I love you, too.
Come on, Flora! Jump.
Whoo!
That's quite an arm you got there.
You ever play any ball?
When I was 17 years old,
I could throw a baseball
90 miles an hour.
Had a real live arm.
Got me a minor league contract
for the St. Louis Cardinals.
I played eight years
with the Memphis Chickasaws
and the Portland Beavers.
Double A, Triple A.
Even worked my way up to the bigs
at the end of a couple of seasons.
One summer day,
we were playing a doubleheader.
I was pitching the opener.
First batter steps into the box.
I leaned in to get the sign,
and out of the corner of my eye,
I saw the most beautiful girl
I'd ever seen in my life.
She takes a seat right
behind the catcher,
and I can't take my eyes off her.
I was knocked out in the first inning.
But it was worth it.
Her name was Mary,
and we were married
eight months later.
She wanted to have a lot of kids.
I was all right with that.
Two days before my 25th birthday,
I got a call from the Cardinals.
They needed a new starter.
I was on my way home
from the ballpark
to tell Mary the good news...
when a drunk driver ran a red light...
I ended up in this chair.
I was sure Mary would leave me.
There were times
when I almost wished she would.
But she never gave up on me.
She used to tell me,
one door closes,
another one opens.
I didn't buy into it
until one day I looked up
and there was Jubal McLaws,
a half smile on his face,
staring right back at me.
Jubal and Mary
gave me my life back.
Six years ago, Mary died...
and Jubal went with her.
All doors closed,
bolted shut.
Until one day,
a nine year-old girl
named Finnegan O'Neil
showed up at my door
and gave me back my legs.
How did I do that?
By believing with me.
That's how I was able
to dance in the moonlight.
You danced?
In my mind, I sure did.
Can't they fix you?
No, Finn, they can't.
Maybe you'll get a miracle.
The way I see it,
I already got my miracle.
Okay, so first you go to "contacts."
What's "contacts"?
It's the thing that looks like a book.
I see a clock.
It's next to the clock, see?
All right. How do I get there?
- See the little ball in the middle?
- Yeah.
- Roll it.
- Roll it.
With your thumb.
With my thumb, okay.
Oh! There it is. Now what?
Press it.
Now it's showing me the time.
That's because you rolled it
while pressing it. Go back one.
Ah, I don't believe I will.
Like I stated at the outset,
it's not for me.
Now, who can I interest
in a Mr. Pibb?
Me.
Come on.
Uh... you let me know
if I'm doing something wrong.
I never put kids to bed before.
We'll help you, Monte.
Oh...
Shouldn't Mama be home now?
She just texted me.
She'll be home in a couple of hours.
Well, now.
All right, then...
get some shuteye.
We're in Dog Dave's bed.
I couldn't agree more.
A night like this
certainly puts you in the mood.
Good evening, Mr. Wildhorn.
I'm sorry I'm so late.
Oh, that's all right.
I didn't know what to do,
so I put the little ones
in Dog Dave's bed.
That'll be all they remember
about this summer.
Willow fell asleep on the couch.
I hope they weren't too much trouble.
Oh, just the opposite.
Well, I guess I better
take 'em off your hands.
I don't mind
if you wanna leave 'em for the night.
Are you sure?
It'd be a shame
to wake 'em at this hour.
Oh. Okay. Thanks.
Well, uh...
I better be getting back.
If you don't feel too tired,
you might wanna sit a spell.
Okay.
I'm gonna miss this place.
Where will you go?
Not quite sure.
I have some cat-sitting
prospects in Mexico.
I thought I'd try Nueva Rosita.
It's a little town I wrote about
when Jubal was holed up
down in those parts
hiding out from a posse.
Figured it'd be
a good place to write.
I'm glad you're writing again.
Flora just loves the Tony stories.
So you said. What about you?
I'm greatly fond of them as well.
This has been a wonderful summer.
There's only one thing
that I know I'll wish I had done.
What's that?
Had our waltz in the moonlight.
I know what you mean.
Sure you don't want me
to take the girls?
I mean,
where are you gonna sleep?
Ah, sleeping under the stars
has never been a hardship.
Well...
I guess I'll just come back
and get them in the morning.
Good night, Mrs. O'Neil.
Good night, Mr. Wildhorn.
He's sleeping.
Sorry, Monte.
We were sneaking out.
We want to surprise Mama.
Well, your sneaking skills
could use a little work.
Should we wake her up?
No, I think we should let her sleep.
When do you think she'll wake up?
Oh, good, you're up.
Oh, good morning, girls.
To what do I owe this lovely intrusion?
Here. This is for you.
Oh, wow!
My goodness. Where...?
I found it on the island.
Oh...
Eat the sandwich.
I haven't seen this since--
Eat the sandwich.
Okay.
Mmm...
Do you like it?
I love it.
Come here. Come here, you three.
Was the alcohol defective?
Changing my ways, Mahmoud.
Uh, two Slim Jims, please.
You know,
I'm leaving tomorrow, Carl.
Okay.
Does that mean
I can't be Diego anymore?
No, you can be anybody
you want to be.
But I gotta tell you,
I kind of miss that Carl fella.
He's very special.
I'm Carl.
Danged if you're not.
I wanted to give you something
to remember me by.
Fits good.
A little sweaty.
So long, partner.
What are you planting?
Pumpkins.
Thought it'd be nice if we grow
our own for Halloween.
Need some help?
Sure.
What do you do?
Well, it's easy.
You just dig a little hole
and drop one in.
I think I can handle that.
How is Dad?
He's okay.
How are you doing?
I'm okay.
What about you?
What's going on with you,
Willow Tree?
I never thought
about your parents getting divorced.
I read your diary.
I kind of figured.
It's weird, Mom,
but the fact that you felt so bad...
kind of made me feel better.
Is that wrong?
No.
I'm glad you read it.
All right, big guy,
Last Chance Saloon.
Fetch.
I respect consistency.
Well, just the person I wanted to see.
Come on in.
I got a couple of things for you.
There you go.
$34.
I'm afraid I'll have
to owe you the 18 cents.
But you taught me
what you said you would.
Yeah, but I wasn't counting
on you teaching me a whole lot.
Go on, take it.
Thanks.
Wait. I ain't done.
What's this?
I don't like it
when my fans get short-changed.
You said you were
missing the last page of the saga.
That's what I meant to write
in the first place.
Wow...
Now you have
to promise me something.
Okay.
Never stop looking
for what's not there.
I promise.
Good.
I'm leaving early in the morning,
so we'd best say
our proper good-byes here and now.
Do you have to go?
If I ever had me a little girl...
I guess I'd want her to be you.
Well, I'll be damned.
Be careful with that.
You sure you'll
be all right with Spot?
He'll be well taken care of,
Mr. Wildhorn.
Ah... I think it's about time
we dispensed with the formalities.
Call me Monte.
Monte.
Charlotte.
It's nice to be
on a first-name basis.
Well, I think that's everything.
But I'll give it one last look.
Okay.
Wait! Wait!
Wait a second!
Here. This is for you.
Do you like it?
Oh... it's a surprisingly
accurate rendering,
and I shall cherish it.
Thank you.
Remember, you owe me 18 cents.
The debt weighs heavily.
Hi, Mom.
Hey, how was school?
Good.
What did you do?
Nothing.
Uh-huh.
Do we have any more Gushers?
- You'll have to check.
- Okay.
Melanie is such a freak.
I'm dropping her
as a friend off Facebook.
Uh-huh... And what's going on
with you and Kyle?
Nothing. Ava says he likes me,
but he's too shy.
Well, why don't you just
go up and talk to him?
Mom, you don't know anything.
Apparently not.
Charlotte,
sorry I haven't been in touch,
but it's taken me a while
to master this e-mail texting thing.
I hope the girls are all doing well,
and I hope you're keeping up
with your piano playing.
I've been pretty busy lately.
I'm happy to report that I've found
the perfect place to write.
I liked it so much,
I went ahead and bought it.
Oh, I should say Jubal bought it.
I sold the movie rights.
I'm pretty sure you'd approve.
Dog Dave drove a hard bargain.
Said he would only sell
if I agreed to take Spot.
What happened to--?
Mexico?
Never quite made it.
A writer needs inspiration.
And I thought the odds
of seeing you down there.
Well...
Monte! Monte's here!
Monte's here!
Willow, Flora! Monte's here!
Monte!
You come to visit us, Monte?
Well, if it's
all the same to you ladies,
I thought I'd stay a while.
Looking forward to having
you as a neighbor, Mr. Wildhorn.
Just keep the noise down,
Mrs. O'Neil.