1
- Keep them closed.
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay, open 'em.
- Sweet.
Whoops, it fell.
For me?
I feel bad.
I don't have a costume.
- I don't want you in a costume.
- No?
Do I get to take this one off?
Oh no.
- You expecting someone?
- Steve?
- I need your help.
Thank you.
- You're welcome.
You want some more?
- Oh, yes, please.
- No problem.
- So you guys live here together?
- Mm-hmm, yeah.
- That's great.
- Where, um, where
did you meet, law school or--
- I still have a year left.
- Oh, okay.
That's great.
- Do you want any food or anything?
- No, I...
- Hey, Sara, why, uh,
why don't you go upstairs
and, uh, put some clothes on
and just give us a minute
to catch up, all right?
- Okay.
Let me go take a shower.
It's nice to meet you, Steven.
- Nice to meet you, too.
Thanks for the water.
- You're welcome.
- You want more?
- No.
- What's up, man?
You look like shit.
- Thank you.
I, uh, tried, tried to dress up for you.
- What's it been, like three years?
- Been five.
- Five years, wow.
- Yeah.
- Well, what are you doing
all the way out here?
- I, uh, came to see you.
- Me?
- Yeah, I, uh...
Do you believe in God?
- Oh shit.
- What?
- Yeah , that's
what you want to ask me?
- No, I just...
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to...
But do you?
- Um, sure, yeah, I guess.
- So you believe in heaven and hell?
- I don't know.
Is that why you
came all the way out here?
- No, I just...
Your wife is nice.
- Yeah, she, uh, she, uh, she's great.
We, actually, we're trying to have a baby.
- Seriously?
- That's the plan.
- Tonight, you were trying?
Oh.
- Yes, yes, Steve.
- I'm sorry about that.
- That's all right.
That's all right.
Hey, man, tell me,
what's going on with you?
I heard, uh, heard you were a cop,
detective or something?
- Detective?
No, no, I'm a cop, though, yeah.
I, I think I should go.
- Go, go where, why?
You just got here.
- Well, I mean, you've got this new life
and a very pretty wife,
and you might have a baby,
and I don't know.
You don't need me coming in
and messing up your life,
so I think I'm just gonna go.
- Not like that, man.
I'm the same guy.
You need me, I'm here.
- Andy, I need your help.
- All right, anything.
- I need you to come with me.
- Okay, where, where are we,
where are we going?
- I can't tell you.
- Okay.
- I don't even know this guy.
- You know Steve.
He was my college roommate.
- Well, it is fantastic.
- You know Steve.
- Maybe once, briefly.
- I've talked about him.
- But,
this, this guy comes in here,
in the middle of the night,
looking like God knows what
and smelling like that.
- Shh.
- You haven't talked to him in five years,
and you're just gonna take
off at his first call.
- He needs my help.
- Everybody
always needs your help.
- Sara.
- This is about tonight.
- What about tonight?
- Looks like you're looking
for a good excuse to take off.
- Yeah.
Yeah, I called up Steve
and wished him a merry Christmas
and told him to come rescue me
from a night of sex with my wife.
Come on.
Don't be silly.
- You said that you were ready.
You said you were ready,
that we were gonna try.
- I am ready.
It, I, okay, I didn't think
it was gonna be the minute
after Christmas ended.
I mean, we said after the holidays.
- When's it gonna be then?
'Cause first you said it was
right after you graduated,
and then it's right
after we found a place,
so when now?
- Okay, I need to do this.
Sara, I need to do this.
Okay, when I come back,
we will make our beautiful baby boy.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
- But by boy, you mean girl, right?
- All right, we're all set.
- Let's roll.
I really appreciate this, man.
- Yeah, man, no problem.
- So how'd you get off the leash?
- What?
- Your lady, how'd you convince
her to let you go with me?
- I just told her the truth.
Told her your sex change didn't take,
so you need somebody to
take you to the ER.
- That's funny.
- No, I, you know, I just
told her you needed my help.
- And she believed that?
- Come on, man, look at you,
showing up at our place,
in the middle of the night.
- Before, when you used to
help me out all the time, I,
I never forgot about that.
I want you to know that
I appreciate your help.
- Well, you turned out all right.
- Yeah, sure.
- Sure you don't want anything?
- No, I'm good, man.
- Hey, how's it goin'?
Excuse me.
You know, your soda machine's broken.
- I don't know.
- I'll just get a bottle.
- Andy, let's go.
- Hey, don't work too hard.
- You too.
- We all set?
- What'd you get?
- A bunch of attitude.
I'm gonna Yelp the shit out of this place.
- They Yelp gas stations?
- Yeah, you can Yelp anything.
- There's a body in the trunk.
I'm sorry.
- Just shut up.
- I just--
- Shut the fuck up.
- So have you guys
thought of any baby names?
- Are you fucking kidding me?
- Andy.
- What does that even mean,
that there's a body in the trunk?
- It means there's a body in the trunk!
- Who is that?
- I, uh, I,
I don't--
- Steve, who is that?
- He's just some guy.
- Just, just, you know, I don't know.
Don't!
- I don't--
- I don't want to know!
Fuck, fuck, Steve!
Steve, you're a cop.
- Yeah, I know, I know.
I just--
- No, you don't know.
- Yeah, I do know.
Look, I didn't plan this.
It just happened, and I thought of you,
and I thought, oh man,
you, you could help me out,
and I just--
- Why would you think of me?
I haven't seen you in five years,
and you show up to my place with this.
- Well, I just...
I'm sorry.
I don't--
- Crazy, are you?
I'm gonna, I'm gonna have a family.
What do I...
- Well, I...
God, I mean, I, I didn't know.
- Oh my--
- I'm sorry, okay?
- Stop fuckin' sayin' you're sorry.
- All right, all right.
- Just stop it!
- All right.
- What is it you think I can do?
I'm not, I'm not a coroner, Steve.
- Well, I don't need a coroner, okay.
I need someone to help me get rid of this.
I mean, you don't have to help.
I thought you would.
I don't know why I thought that.
I just thought you would,
and if you don't want to, that's fine.
I can take you home,
or I can drop you off.
- Steve--
- It doesn't matter.
I gotta get rid of this body, all right?
- That's why we're driving
here, in the middle of nowhere,
to bury this guy?
- Yeah.
I mean, I thought that was obvious.
- You're somethin' else.
- I just thought
that was obvious!
What, why else would we be here?
I'm sorry, but I gotta
get rid of this body,
and if you don't want to help,
I can take you home or whatever,
but we gotta--
- So you don't,
you don't even have shovels.
You don't, you don't even have...
How do you, how do you
get through your life?
Easy.
- All right.
If I can get a sign in here.
Did you get it?
- Shovels?
- This looks good.
- There.
- Thanks.
- What?
- Oh, I don't, I don't have my wallet.
Sorry.
- What was it?
- $67.32.
- Come on, Andy, you haven't
said anything for hours, man.
I can't take this silent treatment.
I mean, tell me you hate me or,
like, I shouldn't have come,
just say something, anything.
Just, just talk.
I'm scared, Andy, all right.
I'm, I'm so scared.
Fine, don't, don't fuckin' talk to me.
I said I was sorry, all right.
I'm sorry.
I mean it, I...
- Simon.
- What?
- If it's a boy,
Simon.
- What if it's a girl?
- Mary.
- Mary?
That's your mom's name.
Huh.
Yeah, Mary's nice.
That's a beautiful name.
Think if, uh,
you think when Simon or Mary come,
you think I would be able
to come meet 'em or...
You need a godfather.
I could, I could do that.
I'm just jokin'.
It's just a joke.
I like those names.
Simon, Simon says.
Yeah, that would be cool.
- Get up.
- What the fuck?
Ah, ah!
- Hey.
I don't believe we've
been properly introduced.
Manners, huh?
Well, this is pathetic.
Hey, stop.
I'm gonna help you up, okay?
Okay?
Here we go.
Stop!
Stop.
- Who are you?
- Who am I?
What?
Who the fuck are you?
- What do you want with me?
- Are you kidding me?
Are you fucking kidding me?
The last I remember,
you and your little friend
were diggin' a hole for me.
- We thought you were dead.
- Well, sorry to break it to ya, I'm not.
I'll admit I'm not at the
top of my game, right now.
But I'm still kickin', man.
- Then what were you doing in there?
Why were you in the trunk of the car?
- Why don't you ask my partner?
I'm sorry.
Sorry, you can't, 'cause
we just buried him.
- Partner, you...
No, no.
- I'm gonna bash your fuckin' skull in,
the way I did Steve's.
- What the hell's going on here?
I don't understand.
- What's going on here is that
you just stabbed an officer
during the arrest for the
murder of his partner.
See, juries, they don't
much like cop-killers.
- Shut up.
- Who are you?
- Gimme the keys.
- How do you know Stevie?
- The keys!
- Why did he come to you?
- I said gimme the keys.
- Or you'll what?
- Hey, hey.
- Andy, you have a cute
little knife there.
But I hurt people.
I hurt a lot of people.
Now you're a real good runner.
Maybe you ran track in high school,
a little in college.
But you were really winded
in the woods out there.
Figure you go to the gym once a week.
You work too much.
You're a banker.
Accountant?
No.
You look like a lawyer.
Andy, you're gonna die today.
But I need some answers
before I can give you that.
- No.
- I told you I hurt people!
Shh.
If you're not gonna talk to me,
I'll find someone who will.
- License and
registration please.
What was that noise?
The journey's ending
All night long, he's drifting
Weary traveler
Did I get this way
And I'm sorry I can't stay
I'm sorry I can't
There's a change in
seasons come and gone
Hey, you all right in there?
- I'll be out in a minute.
- No, better hurry,
the manager's callin' the cops.
- Excuse me.
Hi, I'm sorry to bother you guys.
I was wonderin' if maybe you could, uh,
you could help me out.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, yeah.
I was in a car accident, hit and run.
You know, he totaled my car,
but, uh, I'm all right, I'm all right.
I just had to walk for,
for two miles to get here.
- That's terrible.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Uh, anyway, I was wondering
if maybe you could give
me a ride up into town.
I left my wallet in the car, so I--
- That, that's okay.
I'm Dan.
This is Melissa.
- I'm Greg.
- Yeah, it's good to meet you, Greg.
Jump on in.
- Did you need to call anyone?
- What?
- Do you to, like, let anyone
know that you're coming or...
Yeah.
- Thanks.
Hey, Sara, it's, uh, it's me.
Just checking in, let
you know I'm coming home.
Okay, promise, I'll see you soon.
- Voicemail?
- Thanks.
- So where are you coming from?
- Excuse me.
- We just, you said you
promised you were coming home,
so kinda sounded like
you'd been gone a while.
Sounded kind of romantic.
- Melissa, leave him alone.
- What?
- I'm sorry, she's nosy.
- It feels like it's, uh,
it's been a long time,
but it's just been a day.
- See, romantic.
- Where are you comin' from?
- I'm just up here, helpin' a friend out.
- Did you?
Did you, um, help him?
- No.
- Hate me or, like,
I shouldn't have something,
just say something.
Just talk.
I'm scared, Andy, all right?
- Hey, I'm fine.
- We have lots
of great music coming up for
you in just a few minutes,
but first--
- I just need to, uh,
just need to close my
eyes for a little bit.
- So sad news, this afternoon,
a police woman, Juliet
Frailey, was found dead
on the side of Evan
Spring Road, this morning,
having been shot to death,
last night, while on duty.
Police are on the lookout
for a Hispanic man,
approximately six feet
tall with brown hair,
brown eyes and a goatee,
who was seen earlier today,
covered in blood, at Barnet's Diner.
Witnesses say his arm may be broken,
and currently, the police
do not know if he is armed,
but should be considered
extremely dangerous.
If you have any information,
police are asking
to please call your local
police department or 911.
So be safe out there, people.
And now back to the hits.
- Uh, hey, Greg, how far?
- I was there.
But it wasn't me.
Okay, I wouldn't do that.
- Who was it then?
- I don't know.
- You were there,
but you don't know.
- I don't know his name.
- Why didn't you call the police?
- No, no police.
- What are you gonna do with us?
- Do you have any change?
Hey, Sara, um, I'm, I'm comin'...
Who is this?
- Trying to figure it out, right?
Does he know she's here?
Did he wake her up?
Did he touch her?
Don't worry.
Nobody touched her.
You should teach your
girlfriend nothing good
ever comes knocking at
the door after midnight
and tell her every little
thing's gonna be all right.
- Sara, everything's gonna be okay.
- I know what you're thinking.
Man, you sure got a lot of
mileage out of that roll of tape.
- Just please let us go.
- Go where?
It's beautiful here.
Why would you want to
leave such a nice house,
so far away from anyone?
Help!
Nothin'.
I'm sorry.
Am I keeping you from something?
Do you have an appointment to keep,
or, oh, perhaps some more graves to dig?
- I told you.
We thought you were dead.
I don't even know who you are.
- Thank you for telling me that.
Makes me feel better.
When I think about my funeral, no eulogy,
no beautiful woman who
loves me, dressed in black,
mourning, holding that
single black rose, crying,
as the parishioners tear
her hands from the casket,
none of that, just me,
but you would be there, of course,
with two shovels and a hole.
I think that sort of
makes us family, Andrew.
I might get all choked up.
- Why don't you tell me who you are?
- I'm a cop, remember?
Oh no, you figured that out.
I'm not a cop.
I'm not dead.
So what does that leave?
Maybe I'm just bored.
Tell me, Andrew, what do you
want to be when you grow up?
Andrew, the man with the gun
is asking you a question.
Remember, we're family now.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
- A father.
- What's that?
- I said a father.
- A father.
Mm, Andrew, no, I don't see it.
I've known you for a good long day now,
and I just don't think
you have the genes for it.
Look at your arm, so lifeless,
hanging at your body, weak.
Your face, it's all purply and swollen.
Sorry, I don't see it.
Now Sara, oh, pretty Sara,
she's got the right parts for it.
I may have peeked, once
or twice, at the gift
before I wrapped her and
put her under the tree.
I have an idea.
How 'bout I do you a solid
and be sort of a surrogate for you?
You know, you can still pick at the weeds,
but I'll plant the foundation.
Andrew, how would you
like to raise my son?
Your friend went down with one hit,
but you just keep on runnin',
which is why I had to
tie your little bitch up,
so you don't run away!
Now I'm gonna ask you once.
Why did you try and bury me?
- 'Cause we thought you were dead.
- Steve thought I was dead.
Why did he come to you?
- Because he's my friend.
- Sara, Sara.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
- Should we close his eyes?
- No.
No, we need to know.
- Who was he?
- I don't know.
- Christmas that, for me.
Very kind.
- Hey, Bill,
what, you sleep in your car?
- Yeah, I must've overslept.
- The usual?
- Yeah, the thing is,
I, um, seem to have misplaced my wallet.
- Oh come on, Bill, you know
you still owe from last night.
- I got it.
Merry Christmas.
- Thanks.
- Two of Bill's usuals.
- Comin' right up.
- Want some?
- Uh, no.
Thanks, thanks for the drinks, though.
- Maybe later.
How much?
- It's on the house.
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
I wouldn't dream of it.
Here.
Keep the change.
- That's mighty generous.
- Well, it's not my money.
Enjoy it.
- Two more,
cause of and solution to.
Am I right?
- Bill.
- No, no, no, he's right.
Hey, make it four.
I'm good for it.
- You may be my new best friend.
- I know, Bill.
I believe I'm your only friend.
- What the hell is this?
- I'm buying you drinks.
- With my own money?
This is my wallet.
- See, that's where you're wrong, Willie.
You don't own anything, anymore.
See, this is what happens
when you don't pay your debts.
Wonderful time of the year
- Anything else, sweetie?
- Um, no, thank you.
- Sure you don't want decaf?
- No, thanks.
No, I'm fine.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
- You just give me a holler,
if you change your mind.
- Yeah.
Oh, um, do you have sugar?
- It's right there on your table, sweetie.
- Sorry, thank you.
- Well, I see why you picked
this place, you little minx.
- Yeah.
- You know, I don't get
paid for mileage, though,
somethin' to keep in mind for next time.
- Next time?
No, they said this was it.
My debt is cleared.
- Okay, cool down.
There's no need to make a
big deal here, all right.
You've been a good boy.
Your debt's cleared.
I need you to do one
more little thing for me.
- Wait, what?
- What can I get ya, darlin'?
- Well, hello.
Aren't you sweeter than a peach in a pie?
- If that's
your way of ordering pie,
we've only got cherry.
- I like cherry.
However, I think I'm in the mood
for somethin' sweeter, tonight.
- Like what?
- I don't know.
How 'bout me and you go in the back
and show me some of your inventory?
- Wow.
- I don't understand.
- I know.
Give someone a compliment--
- I thought we had a deal.
- We still have a deal.
Sweetheart, coffee, please.
- Who's this guy?
- Lawyer, corporate,
nobody.
- What did he do?
- He made friends with the wrong people.
Unfortunate circumstances,
wrong place, wrong time.
- What does that mean?
He didn't do anything?
- She's so sweet, isn't she?
He made some bad decisions.
You know, sometimes you
don't see things happen,
even though they're comin' right at ya.
This guy, this lawyer,
he thought he made all
the right decisions,
graduated from college,
went to law school.
Then he passed the bar.
Then he got a good job at a good law firm.
And he was so excited.
He brought in a big client.
That's good, right?
He thought he made all
the right decisions,
and they rewarded him
by sending him down here
to our little neck of the woods,
oversee the new client's contracts.
What he doesn't realize is
that they should've used more
local, trusted contractors.
Individually, every little
decision was perfect.
However, when you put 'em together,
he works for the wrong law firm.
He has the wrong client.
He made the wrong friends
who made all the wrong decisions.
They crossed the wrong people.
They put him in the deep woods.
He doesn't even know it.
He has no idea about the
bad decisions he's made.
- You sure like
to hear yourself talk, huh?
- Yeah.
I think it's what makes me good company.
- So what's gonna happen to this guy?
- I need you to get me
his name and his address.
I won't talk your ear
off with all the details.
Now, Steven,
I really need you to make
a smart decision here.
- Okay.
But this is the last one.
- Steven, don't forget
to tip the waitress.
Steven.
She is very good.