# If you want to know who we are #
# We are gentlemen of Japan #
# On many a vase and jar#
# On many a screen and fan #
# We figure in lively paint #
# Our attitude's queer and quaint #
# You're wrong if you think it ain't #
# Oh #
# If you think we are
worked by strings #
# Like a Japanese marionette #
# You don't understand these things #
# It is simply court etiquette #
# Perhaps you suppose this throng
can't keep it up all day long #
# If that's your idea, you're wrong #
# Oh #
# Oh #
# If that's your idea, you're wrong #
# If you want to know who we are #
# We are gentlemen of Japan #
# On vase and jar
On screens and fans #
# On many, many, many, many
many, many, many, many a jar #
# Oh #
# Oh #
# Oh #
# Oh #
# On vase and jar
On screen and fan ##
My son, you've had the misfortune
to captivate Katisha.
She's misconstrued my customary affability
into expressions of affection.
She claims you in marriage.
And I order you to marry her
within a week, or - or -
I forget the punishment.
Oh.
Perish ignominiously
on the scaffold.
But -
##
##
##
# The sun, whose rays are all ablaze #
# With ever-living glory #
# Does not deny his majesty #
# He scorns to tell a story #
# He don't exclaim
I blush for shame #
# So kindly be indulgent #
# But fierce and bold, in fiery gold #
# He glories all effulgent #
# I mean to rule the earth #
# As he the sky #
# We really know our worth #
# The sun and I #
# I mean to rule the earth
as he the sky #
# We really know our worth #
# The sun and I ##
# A wand'ring minstrel I #
# A thing of shreds and patches #
# Of ballads, songs and snatches #
# And dreamy lullaby #
# My catalog is long #
# Through every passion ranging #
# And to your humors changing #
# I tune my supple song #
# I tune my supple #
# Song #
# Are you in sentimental mood #
# I'll sigh with you #
# Oh #
# Sorrow #
# On maiden's coldness
do you brood #
# I'll do so too #
# Oh #
# Sorrow #
# Sorrow #
# I'll charm your willing ears #
# With songs of lovers' fears #
# While sympathetic tears #
# My cheeks bedew #
# Oh #
# Sorrow #
# Sorrow #
##
# But if patriotic sentiment is wanted #
# I've patriotic ballads cut and dried #
# For where'er our country's banner
may be planted #
# All other local banners are defied #
# Our warriors
in serried ranks assembled #
# Never quail or they conceal it
if they do #
# And I shouldn't be surprised
if nations trembled #
# Before the mighty troops
the troops of Titipu #
# We shouldn't be surprised if nations
trembled trembled with alarm #
# Before the mighty troops
the troops of Titipu #
##
# And if you call for
a song of the sea #
# We'll heave the capstan round #
# With a yeo heave ho
for the wind is free #
# Her anchor's atrip
and her helm's alee #
# Hurrah for the homeward bound #
# Yeo ho, heave ho #
# Hurrah for the homeward bound #
# To lay aloft in a howling breeze #
# May tickle a landsman's taste #
# But the happiest hour a sailor sees #
# Is when he's down
at an inland town #
# With his Nancy on his knees #
# Yeo ho #
# And his arm around her waist #
# Then man the capstan, off we go #
# As the fiddler swings us round #
# With a yeo heave ho
and a rum below #
# Hurrah for the homeward bound #
# With a yeo heave ho
and a rum below #
- # Yeo ho, heave ho #
- # Yeo ho, heave ho #
# Yeo ho, heave ho,
heave ho, heave ho #
# Yeo ho #
# A wand'ring minstrel I #
# A thing of shreds and patches #
# Of ballads, songs and snatches #
# And dreamy lullaby #
# And dreamy lullaby #
# Lullaby ##
Gentlemen.
I pray you tell me where a gentle maiden
dwelleth named Yum-Yum - the ward of Ko-Ko.
And what may be your business
with Yum-Yum?
A year ago, I saw Yum-Yum.
We loved each other at once...
but she was betrothed to her
guardian Ko-Ko, a cheap tailor...
and I saw that my suit was hopeless.
Judge of my delight when I heard
a month ago...
that Ko-Ko had been condemned
to death for flirting.
I hurried back at once, hoping
I should find Yum-Yum at liberty.
It is true that Ko-Ko was
condemned to death for flirting.
But he was reprieved
at the last moment...
and raised to the exalted rank
of Lord High Executioner...
under the following remarkable
circumstances:
# Our great Mikado, virtuous man
when he to rule our land began #
# Resolved to try
a plan whereby #
# Young men might best be steadied #
# So he decreed in words succinct #
# That all who flirted,
leered or winked #
# Unless connubially linked #
# Should forthwith be beheaded
Beheaded #
# Beheaded #
# Should forthwith be beheaded #
# And I expect you'll all agree
that he was right to so decree #
# And I am right
And you are right #
# And all is right as right can be #
# And you are right
And we are right #
# And all is right, is
right as right can be #
# And all is right as right can be #
# Right as right can be #
# And so we straight let out on bail
a convict from the county jail #
# Whose head was next
on some pretext #
# Condemned to be mown off #
# And made him headsman,
for we said #
# Who's next to be decapited #
# Cannot cut off another's head
until he's cut his own off #
# His own off
His own off #
# Until he's cut his own off #
# And we are right, I think you'll
say to argue in this kind of way #
# And I am right
And you are right #
# And all is right, too-loorallay #
# And you are right
And we are right #
# And all is right,
too-loora-loorallay #
# And I am right
And you are right #
# And all #
# Is right ##
Ko-Ko, the cheap tailor,
Lord High Executioner of Titipu.
Why, that's the highest rank
a citizen can attain.
It is.
That is Pooh-Bah.
Our logical Mikado, seeing no moral
difference between the dignified judge...
who condemns a criminal to die...
and the industrious mechanic
who carries out the sentence...
has rolled the two
offices into one...
and every judge is now
his own executioner.
But how good of you,
a nobleman of the highest rank...
to condescend to tell all this
to me, a mere strolling minstrel.
Don't mention it.
I am, in point of fact...
a particularly haughty
and exclusive person...
of preadamite ancestral descent.
You will understand this when I tell
you that I can trace my ancestry back...
to a protoplasmal primordial
atomic globule.
Consequently, my family pride
is something inconceivable.
I can't help it.
I was born sneering.
But I struggle hard
to overcome this defect.
I mortify my pride continually.
When all the great officers
of state resigned in a body...
because they were too proud
to serve under an ex-tailor...
did I not unhesitatingly accept
all their posts at once?
And the salaries attached to them?
- Oh.
- You did.
A Pooh-Bah paid for his services!
I a salaried minion!
But I do it.
It revolts me, but I do it.
And it does you credit.
But I don't stop at that.
I also retail state secrets
at a very low figure.
- For instance -
- Any information about Yum-Yum -
Would come under the head
of a state secret.
Another insult,
and, I think, a light one.
- ##
- ##
##
# Behold the Lord High Executioner #
# A personage of noble rank and title #
# A dignified and potent officer #
# Whose functions are
particularly vital #
# Defer, defer #
# To the Lord High Executioner #
# Defer, defer #
# To the noble lord
To the noble lord #
# To the Lord High Executioner #
# Taken from a county jail #
# By a set of curious chances #
# Liberated then on bail #
# On my own recognizances #
# Wafted by a favoring gale #
# As one sometimes is in trances #
# To a height that few can scale #
# Save by long and weary dances #
# Surely never had a male #
# Under suchlike circumstances #
# So adventurous a tale #
# Which may rank with most romances #
- # Taken from a county jail #
- # Taken from a county jail #
- # By a set of curious chances #
- # Liberated then on bail #
# Surely never had a male
So adventurous a tale #
# Defer, defer #
# To the Lord High Executioner #
# Defer, defer #
# To the noble lord
To the noble Lord High Executioner #
# Bow down, bow down
to the Lord High Executioner #
# Defer, defer #
# To the noble Lord
High Executioner ##
Oh, Pooh-Bah, Pooh-Bah.
It seems that the
festivities in connection...
...with my approaching
marriage must last a week.
Now I should like to do the thing
handsomely, and I want to consult you...
as to the amount I ought to spend
upon them.
Certainly. In which
of my capacities?
As first lord of the treasury,
lord chamberlain...
attorney general,
chancellor of the exchequer...
privy purse or private secretary?
Suppose we say as private secretary.
Speaking as your private secretary...
I should say that, as the city will have
to pay for it, don't stint yourself.
- Do it well.
- Exactly.
As the city will have to pay for it -
that is your advice.
Of course,
as chancellor of the exchequer...
I am bound to see that
due economy is observed.
Oh, but you said just now,
"Don't stint yourself. Do it well. "
As private secretary.
And now you say
that due economy must be observed.
As chancellor of the exchequer.
I see.
Come over here where the
chancellor can't hear us.
Now then, as my solicitor...
how would you advise me to
deal with this difficulty?
Oh, as your solicitor, I should have
no hesitation in saying "Chance it. "
- Thanks. I will. - If it were not
that, as lord chief justice...
I am bound to see
that the law isn't violated.
Now then,
as first lord of the treasury?
Of course,
as first lord of the treasury...
I could propose a special vote
that would cover all expenses -
if it were not that,
as leader of the opposition...
it would be my duty
to resist it tooth and nail.
Or, as paymaster general,
I could so cook the accounts...
that, as lord high auditor,
I should never discover the fraud.
But... as archbishop of Titipu...
it would be my duty
to denounce my dishonesty...
and give myself into my own custody
as first commissioner of police.
That's extremely awkward.
I don't say that all these distinguished
people couldn't be squared.
The matter shall have
my careful consideration.
# Comes a train of little ladies #
# From scholastic trammels free #
# And we wonder
How we wonder #
# We wonder
How we wonder #
# What on earth the world can be #
# What on earth #
# The world can be ##
##
# Three little maids
from school are we #
# Pert as a schoolgirl well can be #
# Filled to the brim
with girlish glee #
# Three little maids from school #
# Everything is a source of fun #
# Nobody's safe,
for we care for none #
# Life is a joke that's just begun #
# Three little maids from school #
# Three little maids who all unwary
come from a ladies' seminary #
# Freed from its genius tutelary #
# Three little maids from school #
# Three little maids from school #
# One little maid is a bride, Yum-Yum #
# Two little maids in attendance come #
# Three little maids is the total sum #
# Three little maids from school #
# From three little maids
take one away #
# Two little maids remain, and they #
# Won't have to wait very long
they say #
- # Three little maids from school #
- # Three little maids from school #
# Three little maids who all unwary
come from a ladies' seminary #
# Freed from its genius tutelary #
# Three little maids from school #
# Three little maids from school ##
At last, me bride that is to be.
Oh, but you're not going to kiss
me before all these people?
Well, that was the idea.
- It seems odd, doesn't it?
- It's rather peculiar.
Oh, I expect it's all right.
Must have a beginning, you know.
Well, of course.
I know nothing about these things.
But I've no objection...
if it's usual.
Oh, it's quite usual...
I think.
Eh, Lord Chamberlain?
I have known it done.
Thank goodness that's over.
- Nanki-Poo!
- Oh, Nanki-Poo!
- I'm so glad! - I haven't
seen you for ever so long!
I've come home for good.
And I'm not going back anymore!
I beg your pardon,
but will you present me?
Oh, this is the gentleman -
One at a time, please.
If you please. He is the gentleman
who used to play so beautifully on the -
Oh, on the, uh - on the -
On the Marine Parade.
Oh, sir, I have the misfortune
to love your ward Yum-Yum.
Oh, I know I deserve your anger.
You -
Anger? Not a bit, my boy.
Why, I love her myself.
Charming little girl, isn't she?
Pretty eyes, nice hair.
Taking little thing altogether.
Very glad to hear my opinion
backed by a competent authority.
Thank you very much. Good-bye.
Take him away.
Oh!
Yum-Yum!
Oh, at last we're alone.
I've sought you night and day
for three weeks...
with the belief that your guardian
was beheaded.
But now I find that you're about
to be married to him this afternoon.
Yes.
But you do not love him?
No.
Oh, why don't you refuse him?
What good would that do?
He is my guardian,
and he wouldn't let me marry you.
Besides, a wand'ring minstrel who plays
a wind instrument outside teahouses...
is hardly a fitting husband for
the ward of the Lord High Executioner.
Oh, but...
what if it should prove
that after all I am no musician?
There! I was certain of it,
directly I heard you play.
Oh, it -
But what if it should
prove that I am...
...the son of His
Majesty the Mikado?
- The son of the Mikado?
- Oh! Shh, shh, shh!
But why is Your Highness disguised?
And what has Your Highness done? And will
Your Highness promise never to do it again?
Some years ago I had the misfortune
to captivate Katisha...
an elderly lady of my father's court.
My father ordered me to marry her
within a week or perish on a scaffold.
That night I fled his court and, assuming
the disguise of a second trombone...
I joined the band in
which you found me.
# Were you not to Ko-Ko plighted #
# I would say in tender tone #
# Loved one, let us be united #
# Let us be each other's own #
# I would merge all rank and station #
# Worldly sneers are naught to us #
# And to mark my admiration #
# I would kiss you fondly thus #
- # I would kiss you fondly thus #
- # He would kiss me fondly thus #
# But as I'm engaged to Ko-Ko
To embrace you thus, con fuoco #
# Would distinctly be no gioco #
# And for yam I should get toco #
# So, in spite of all temptation #
# Such a theme I'll not discuss #
# And on no consideration #
# Will I kiss you #
# Fondly thus #
# Will I kiss you #
# Fondly thus #
# Let me make it clear to you #
# This is what I'll never do #
# This, oh, this #
# Oh, this
Oh, this #
# This is what I'll never, never do #
# This, oh, this
Oh, this, oh, this #
# This #
- # Is what I'll never do #
- # You'll never do #
- # I'll never do #
- # You'll never do #
# Oh, this #
# This #
# Is what I'll never #
# Never do ##
I am the bearer of a letter
from His Majesty, the Mikado.
A letter from the Mikado?
What in the world
can he have to say to me?
Ah, here it is at last.
I thought it would come
sooner or late - later.
The Mikado is struck by the fact...
that no executions have taken
place in Titipu for a year.
And he decrees that unless someone
is beheaded within one month...
the post of Lord High Executioner
shall be abolished!
And the city reduced
to the rank of a village!
There's no help for it.
I shall have to execute
somebody at once.
The only question is,
who shall it be?
Well, it seems unkind to say so...
but as you're already under
sentence of death for flirting...
everything seems to point to you.
To - To me? Wh-What are you talking
about? I can't execute myself.
Why not?
I don't see how a man can
cut off his own head.
A man might try.
If he only succeeded
in cutting it half off -
that would be something.
No. Pardon me, but
there I am adamant.
I am afraid that unless
you can obtain a substitute -
A substitute?
Nothing easier.
Pooh-Bah, I appoint you
lord high substitute.
I should be delighted.
Such an appointment would
realize my fondest dreams!
But, no, at any sacrifice...
I must set bounds
to my insatiable ambition.
# I am so proud
if I allowed #
# My family pride
to be my guide #
# I'd volunteer
to quit this sphere #
# Instead of you
in a minute or two #
# But family pride
must be denied #
# And set aside
and mortified #
# And mortified #
# My brain, it teems
with endless schemes #
# Both good and new
for Titipu, for Titipu #
# But if I flit the benefit that
I'd diffuse the town would lose #
# Now every man to aid his clan
should plot and plan as best he can #
# I heard one day
a gentleman say #
# That criminals who
are cut in two #
# Can hardly feel
the fatal steel #
# And so are slain
are slain without much pain #
# If this is true
it's jolly for you #
# Your courage screw
to bid us adieu #
- # I am so proud #
- # My brain, it teems #
- # If I allowed my family pride #
- # I heard one day a gentleman say #
- # To be my guide #
- # For Titipu, for Titipu #
- # If I flit the benefit that I'd
diffuse the town would lose #
# Now every man to aid his clan
should plot and plan as best he can #
# And so although
I'm ready to go #
# Yet recollect 'twere disrespect
did I neglect to thus effect #
# This aim direct
so I object #
# And so although
I wish to go #
# And greatly pine to brightly shine
and take the line of a hero fine #
# With grief condign
I must decline #
# And go and show
both friend and foe #
# How much you dare
I'm quite aware #
# It's your affair
yet I declare #
# I'd take your share
but I don't much care #
- # I must #
- # So I object #
- # I'd take your share but I don't
much care # - # So I object #
- # I must #
- # So I object #
- # I must decline #- # So I
object, so I object, so I object #
# To sit in solemn silence
in a dull, dark dock #
# In a pestilential prison
with a lifelong lock #
# Awaiting the sensation
of a short, sharp shock #
# From a cheap and chippy chopper
on a big black block #
# To sit in solemn silence
in a dull, dark dock #
# In a pestilential prison
with a lifelong lock #
# Awaiting the sensation
of a short, sharp shock #
# From a cheap and chippy chopper
on a big black block #
# A dull, dark dock
A lifelong lock #
# A short, sharp shock
A big black block #
# To sit in solemn silence
in a pestilential prison #
# And awaiting the sensation
from a cheap and chippy chopper #
# On a big #
# Black #
# Block ##
##
##
##
This is simply appalling!
Is this public gratitude?
What are you going to do
with that rope?
I'm about to terminate
an unendurable existence.
Terminate your existence?
Nonsense!
What for?
Because you're going to marry
the girl I adore.
Nonsense, sir.
I won't permit it.
I am a humane man, and if you
attempt anything of the kind...
I shall order your instant arrest.
Come, sir. Desist at once,
or I summon my guard.
That's absurd. If you attempt
to raise an alarm...
I instantly perform the happy
dispatch with this dagger.
No, no! Don't do that!
Why, this is horrible.
You cold-blooded scoundrel.
Are you aware that in taking your
life you're committing a crime?
Committing a crime which -
which -
The substitute!
What's the matter?
Is it absolutely certain
that you're resolved to die?
Absolutely.
- Will nothing shake your
resolution? - Nothing.
Then, if you really
mean what you say,
...don't spoil yourself
by committing suicide...
but be beheaded handsomely at
the hands of the public executioner.
- I don't see how that would
benefit me. - You don't?
Observe.
You'll have a month to live, and you'll
live like a fighting cock at my expense.
When the day comes, there'll
be a grand public ceremonial.
You will be the central figure.
No one will attempt to deprive you
of that distinction.
There'll be a procession,
bands, dead march, bells tolling...
all the girls in tears -
Yum-Yum distracted.
Then, when it's all over,
general rejoicings...
and a display of fireworks
in the evening!
You won't see them, but
they'll be there all the same.
Do you think Yum-Yum will
really be distracted at my death?
I'm convinced of it. Bless you, she's the
most tenderhearted little creature alive.
I should be sorry to cause her pain.
Perhaps, after all,
if I were to withdraw from Japan...
and travel in Europe for a couple of
years, I might contrive to forget her.
Oh, I don't think you could
forget Yum-Yum so easily.
And, after all, what is more
miserable than a love-blighted life?
True.
Life without Yum-Yum.
Why, it seems absurd.
And yet there are a great many people
in the world who have to endure it.
Poor devils, yes! You're quite
right not to be of their number.
I won't be of their number!
Noble fellow!
I'll tell you how we'll manage it.
Let me marry Yum-Yum tomorrow...
and in a month you may behead me.
No. No. I draw the line at Yum-Yum.
Very good. If you can draw
the line, so can I.
No! Stop! Listen one moment!
Be reasonable.
She'll be a widow in a month,
and you can marry her then.
Yes, that's true, of course.
I quite see that.
But dear me. My position during
the next month will be most unpleasant.
Most unpleasant.
Not half so unpleasant
as my position at the end of it.
Yes, but dear me -
Oh, very well. I agree.
After all, it's only putting off
one's wedding for a month.
But you won't prejudice her
against me, will you?
You see, I've educated
her to be my wife.
She's been taught to regard me
as a wise and good man.
Now, I shouldn't like her views
on that point disturbed.
Trust me, she shall never learn
the truth from me.
# To ask you what you mean to do
we punctually appear #
# Congratulate me, gentlemen
I've found a volunteer #
# The Japanese equivalent
for hear, hear, hear #
# 'Tis Nanki-Poo #
# Hail, Nanki-Poo #
# I think he'll do #
# Yes, yes, he'll do #
# He yields his life
if I'll Yum-Yum surrender #
# Now, I adore that girl
with passion tender #
# And could not yield her
with a ready will #
# Or her allot
if I did not #
# Adore myself with passion #
# Tenderer still #
# With passion tenderer still #
# Ah, yes, he loves himself #
# With passion tenderer still #
# Take her
She's yours ##
# The threatened cloud has passed away #
# And brightly shines the dawning day #
# What though the night
may come too soon #
# There's yet a month of afternoon #
# Then let the throng
of joy advance #
# With laughing song
and merry dance #
# Then let the throng
of joy advance #
# With laughing song
and merry dance #
# With laughing song
and merry dance #
# With laughing song #
# With joyous shout
With joyous shout and ringing cheer #
# Inaugurate
Inaugurate their brief career #
# With joyous shout and ringing cheer
Inaugurate their brief career #
# With joyous shout and ringing cheer
Inaugurate their brief career #
# Laughing song, merry dance
With laughing song and merry dance #
# As in a month you've got to die #
# If Ko-Ko tells us true #
# 'Twere empty compliment to cry #
# Long life to Nanki-Poo #
# But as one month you have to live #
# As fellow citizen #
# This toast with three times three
we'll give #
# Long life #
# Long life to you #
# Long life to you #
# Long life #
# To you #
# Till then #
# May all good fortune
all good fortune prosper you #
# May you have health
May you have health and riches too #
# May all good fortune prosper you
May you have health and riches too #
- # May you succeed in all you do #
- # Long life to you till then ##
# Your revels cease #
# Assist me, all of you #
# Why, who is this whose evil eyes
rain blight on our festivities #
# I claim my perjured lover #
# Nanki-Poo #
# Oh, fool
to shun delights that never cloy #
# Go, leave thy deadly work undone #
# Come back, oh, shallow fool #
# Come back to joy #
# Away, away, ill-favored one #
Ah! 'Tis Katisha,
the maid of whom I told you.
# No, you shall not go #
# These arms shall thus enfold you #
# Away, nor prosecute your quest #
# From our intention well expressed #
# You cannot turn us #
# The state of your connubial views #
# Towards the person you accuse #
# Does not concern us #
# For #
- # He's going to marry Yum-Yum #
- # Yum-Yum #
# Your anger pray bury
for all will be merry #
- # I think you had better succumb #
- # Cumb, cumb #
# And join our expressions of glee #
- # On this subject I pray you be dumb #
- # Dumb, dumb #
# You'll find there are many
who'll wed for a penny #
- # The word for your guidance is
"mum" # - # Mum, mum #
# There's lots of good fish in the sea #
# On this subject we pray
you be dumb Dumb, dumb #
# We think you had better succumb
Cumb, cumb #
# You'll find there are many who'll
wed for a penny, who'll wed for a penny #
# There's lots of good fish in the sea
There are lots of good fish in the sea #
# There's lots of good fish
good fish in the sea #
# There's lots of good fish good fish
in the sea, in the sea, in the sea #
# In the sea, in the sea #
# Oh, faithless one #
# This insult you shall rue #
# In vain for mercy #
# On your knees you'll sue #
# I'll tear the mask
from your disguising #
Now comes the blow.
# Prepare yourselves
for news surprising #
How foil my foe?
# No minstrel he, despite bravado #
Ha, ha. I know.
# He is the son of your #
# O ni, bikkuri shakkuri to #
# In vain you interrupt
with this tornado #
# He is the only son of your #
# O ni, bikkuri shakkuri to #
# I'll spoil #
# O ni, bikkuri shakkuri to #
# Your gay gambado #
# He is the son #
# O ni, bikkuri shakkuri to #
- # Of your #
- # O ni, bikkuri shakkuri to #
- # The son of your #
- # O ni, bikkuri shakkuri to #
# Oh, yar #
# Oh, yar #
# We'll hear no more, ill-omened owl #
# To joy we soar, despite your scowl #
# The echoes of our festival
shall rise triumphant over all #
# Prepare for woe, ye haughty lords #
# At once I'll go Mikadowards #
# We do not heed their dismal sound #
# For joy reigns everywhere around #
# We do not heed their dismal sound #
# For joy reigns everywhere around #
# The echoes of our festival #
# Shall rise triumphant over all #
- # Shall rise triumphant #
- # Shall rise triumphant #
# Triumphant over all #
# Shall rise triumphant over all #
# My wrongs with vengeance
shall be crowned #
# We do not heed their dismal sound #
# For joy reigns everywhere around #
# We do not heed their dismal sound #
# For joy reigns everywhere around #
- # My wrongs with vengeance shall be crowned #
- # We do not heed their dismal sound #
- # My wrongs with vengeance #
- # For joy reigns every... #
- # Shall #
- #... where #
- # Be #
- # A... #
- # Crowned #
- #... round ##
# Braid the raven hair
Weave the supple tress #
# Deck the maiden fair
in her loveliness #
# Paint the pretty face
Dye the coral lip #
# Emphasize the grace
of her ladyship #
# Art and nature thus allied #
# Go to make a pretty bride #
# Art and nature thus allied #
# Go to make a pretty bride ##
# The sun, whose rays are all ablaze #
# With ever-living glory #
# Does not deny his majesty #
# He scorns to tell a story #
# He don't exclaim
I blush for shame #
# So kindly be indulgent #
# But fierce and bold, in fiery gold #
# He glories all effulgent #
# I mean to rule the earth #
# As he the sky #
# We really know our worth #
# The sun and I #
# I mean to rule the earth
as he the sky #
# We really know our worth #
# The sun and I ##
Yes!
Everything seems to smile upon me.
I'm to be married today
to the man I love best...
and I believe
I'm the very happiest girl in Japan.
Well, dear, it can't be denied...
that the fact that your husband
is to be beheaded in a month...
is, in its way, a drawback.
It does seem to
take the top off it, you know.
I don't know about that.
It all depends.
At all events, he will
find it a drawback.
Not necessarily, bless you.
It all depends.
Oh! I think it very
indelicate of you...
to refer to such a subject
on such a day.
If my married happiness
is to be - to be -
Cut short?
Well, cut short in a month...
can't you let me forget it?
Yum-Yum! Yum-Yum in tears -
and on her wedding morn?
They've been reminding me that
in a month you're to be beheaded.
A month? Why, what's a month?
These divisions of time
are purely arbitrary.
Who says 24 hours make a day?
There's a popular impression
to that effect.
Then we'll efface it.
We'll call each second a minute -
each minute an hour...
each hour a day
and each day a year.
Oh, at that rate, we've about 30 years
of married happiness before us.
Yes. How time flies when one
is thoroughly enjoying oneself.
That's the way to look at it.
Don't let's be downhearted.
There's a silver lining
to every cloud.
# Brightly dawns our wedding day #
# Joyous hour, we give thee greeting #
# Whither, whither art thou fleeting #
# Fickle moment, prithee stay #
# Fickle moment, prithee stay #
# What though mortal joys be hollow #
# Pleasures come, if sorrows follow #
- # Though the tocsin sound ere long #
- # Ere long #
- # Though the tocsin sound ere long #
- # Ding-dong, ding-dong #
- # Though the tocsin sound ere long #
- # Ding-dong, ding-dong #
# Ding-dong #
- # Ding #
- # Ding #
# Dong #
# Yet until the shadows fall #
# Over one and over all #
# Sing a merry madrigal #
# Sing a merry madrigal #
# Sing a merry madrigal #
- # Fa, la, fa, la # - # Fa, la,
la, la, la, fa, la, la, la, la, la #
- # Fa, la, la, la, la #
- # Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la #
- # Fa, la, la, la, la #
- # Fa, la, la, la, la #
- # Fa, la, la, la, la #
- # Fa, la, la, la, la #
- # Fa, la, la, la, la #
- # Fa, la, la, la, la #
# Fa, la, la, la, la, la #
# Fa, la, la, la, fa, la #
- # Fa #
- # Fa, la, la, la, fa, la #
# Fa, la, la #
# Fa, la, la #
# Fa, la #
# La ##
- Oh, go on. Don't mind me. - Oh,
I'm afraid we're distressing you.
Never mind.
I must get used to it.
Only please do it by degrees.
Begin by placing your
arm around her waist.
No, no.
Not yet. Let me get used
to that first.
Oh, wouldn't you like to retire?
It must pain you to see us
so affectionate together.
No. I must learn to bear it.
Now oblige me by allowing her
head to rest on your shoulder.
Like that?
I'm much obliged to you.
Now, k -
k- k-k -
kiss her.
Thank you.
Thank you.
It's simple torture!
Oh. Oh, come, come. Bear up.
After all, it's only for a month.
No. It's no use deluding oneself
with false hopes.
- What do you mean?
- My child. My poor child.
My little bride that
was to have been.
"Was to have been"?
You never can be mine.
- Oh!
- What?
Oh, I'm so glad!
I've just ascertained
that, by the Mikado's law...
when a married man is beheaded,
his wife is buried alive.
- Buried alive?
- Buried alive!
Buried alive.
It's a most unpleasant death.
- But whom did you get that from?
- Oh, from Pooh-Bah.
- He's my solicitor.
- But he may be mistaken.
So I thought. So I consulted the
attorney general, the lord chief justice...
the master of the rolls, the judge
ordinary and the lord chancellor.
They're all of the same opinion.
Never knew such unanimity
on a point of law in my life.
But stop a bit. This law
has never been put in force.
Not yet. You see, flirting is the only
crime punishable with decapitation...
and married men never flirt.
Oh, I quite forgot that.
Well, I - I suppose I may take it that
my dream of happiness is at an end.
- Darling -
- Yes?
Oh.
I don't want to appear selfish...
and I love you with all my heart.
It makes a difference, doesn't it?
You see, burial alive - It's -
It's such a stuffy death.
I call it a beast of a death.
You see my difficulty, don't you?
Yes.
And I see my own. If I insist
on you carrying out your promise...
I doom you to a hideous death.
If I release you,
you marry Ko-Ko at once.
Oh!
# Here's a how-de-do #
# If I marry you
when your time has come to perish #
# Then the maiden whom you cherish
must be slaughtered too #
# Here's a how-de-do
Here's a how-de-do #
# Here's a pretty mess #
# In a month or less
I must die without a wedding #
# Let the bitter tears I'm shedding
witness my distress #
# Here's a pretty mess
Here's a pretty mess #
# Here's a state of things
To her life she clings #
# Matrimonial devotion
doesn't seem to suit her notion #
# Burial it brings
Here's a state of things #
# Here's a state of things #
# With a passion that's intense
I worship and adore #
# But the laws of common sense
we oughtn't to ignore #
# If what he says is true
'tis death to marry you #
# Here's a pretty state of things
Here's a pretty how-de-do #
# Here's a pretty state of things
A pretty state of things #
- # Here's a how-de-do # - # Here's
a how-de-do # - # Here's a how-de-do #
# For if what he says is true
I cannot, cannot marry you #
# Here's a pretty,
pretty state of things #
# Here's a pretty how-de-do #
# Here's a how-de-do #
# If I marry you
when your time has come to perish #
# Then the maiden whom you cherish
must be slaughtered too #
# Here's a how-de-do
Here's a how-de-do #
# Here's a pretty mess #
# In a month or less
I must die without a wedding #
# Let the bitter tears I'm shedding
witness my distress #
# Here's a pretty mess
Here's a pretty mess #
# Here's a state of things
To her life she clings #
# Matrimonial devotion
doesn't seem to suit her notion #
# Burial it brings
Here's a state of things #
# Here's a state of things #
# With a passion that's intense
I worship and adore #
# But the laws of common sense
we oughtn't to ignore #
# If what he says is true
'tis death to marry you #
# Here's a pretty state of things
Here's a pretty how-de-do #
# Here's a pretty state of things
A pretty state of things #
- # Here's a how-de-do # - # Here's
a how-de-do # - # Here's a how-de-do #
# For if what he says is true
I cannot, cannot marry you #
# Here's a pretty,
pretty state of things #
# Here's a pretty how-de-do ##
Ko-Ko. Ko-Ko!
The Mikado and his suite
are approaching the city -
and will be here in 10 minutes.
- The Mikado?
- Mmm.
He's coming to see
if his orders have been carried out.
Oh, I can't live without Yum-Yum. This
afternoon I perform the happy dispatch.
Now look here, you know. This is
getting serious. A bargain's a bargain.
As a man of honor and a gentleman,
you are bound to die ignominiously...
at the hands of the
public executioner.
Very well then.
- Behead me.
- Ooh!
What? Now?
Certainly. At once.
Chop it off, Ko-Ko. Chop it off.
I don't go about prepared to execute
gentlemen at a moment's notice.
Oh!
Why, I never even killed a bluebottle.
Oh, come, my poor fellow. After
all, if I don't mind, why should you?
Remember.
Sooner or later, it must be done.
Must it?
I'm not so sure about that.
What do you mean?
Why should I kill you
when making an affidavit...
...that you've been executed
will do just as well?
Here are plenty of witnesses
the lord chief justice...
...the lord high admiral,
commander-in-chief,
...secretary of state for
the Home Department...
first lord of the treasury and
the chief commissioner of police.
- Where are they?
- There they are.
They'll all swear to it. Won't you?
Am I to understand that all
of us high officers of state...
are required to perjure ourselves
to ensure your safety?
Why not? You'll be grossly
insulted, as usual.
Will the insult be cash down
or at a date?
It will be a ready
money transaction.
Oh.
Very good.
Choose your fiction,
and I'll endorse it.
Ha-ha!
Family pride.
How do you like that, me buck?
But I tell you that
life without Yum-Yum -
Oh, Yum-Yum, Yum-Yum.
Bother Yum-Yum!
Take Yum-Yum, and marry Yum-Yum. Only
go away and never come back anymore.
- Yum-Yum, are you
particularly busy? - No.
Then go along with His Grace,
the archbishop of Titipu.
- He'll marry you at once.
- But if I'm to be buried alive -
Don't ask any questions!
Do as I tell you.
- Oh, but one moment. You... - Not for
worlds. If the Mikado finds you alive...
I shall have the greatest difficulty
in persuading him I've beheaded you.
Well, now. Wait a minute.
You have to give me a chance -
##
##
# Miya sama, miya sama #
# On n'm-ma no maye ni #
# Pira-Pira suru no wa #
# Nan gia na #
# Toko tonyare, tonyare na #
##
# Miya sama, miya sama #
# On n'm-ma no maye ni #
# Pira-Pira suru no wa #
# Nan gia na #
# Toko tonyare, tonyare na #
##
# From every kind of man
obedience I expect #
# I'm the emperor of Japan #
# And I'm his daughter-in-law-elect #
# He'll marry his son
He's only got one #
# To his daughter-in-law-elect #
# My nature is love and light
My freedom from all defect #
# Is insignificant quite #
# Compared with his
daughter-in-law-elect #
# Bow, bow #
# To his daughter-in-law-elect #
# Bow, bow #
# To his daughter-in-law-elect #
# Miya sama, miya sama #
# On n'm-ma no maye ni #
# Pira-Pira suru no wa #
# Nan gia na #
# Toko tonyare, tonyare na ##
# A more humane Mikado
never did in Japan exist #
# To nobody second I'm certainly
reckoned a true philanthropist #
# It is my very humane endeavor
to make, to some extent #
# Each evil liver a running river #
# Of harmless merriment #
# My object all sublime #
# I shall achieve in time #
# To let the punishment fit the crime
the punishment fit the crime #
# And make each prisoner pent
unwillingly represent #
# A source of innocent merriment
of innocent merriment #
# The advertising quack who wearies
with tales of countless cures #
# His teeth, I've enacted
shall all be extracted #
- # By terrified amateurs #
- Yes!
# The music hall singer attends a
series of masses and fugues and ops #
# By Bach interwoven
with Spohr and Beethoven #
- # At classical Monday Pops #
- Yes!
# The billiard sharp whom anyone
catches His doom's extremely hard #
# He's made to dwell in a dungeon cell #
# On a spot that's always barred #
# And there he plays extravagant
matches in fitless finger-stalls #
# On a cloth untrue
with a twisted cue #
# And elliptical #
# Billiard balls #
Yes!
# My object all sublime #
# I shall achieve in time #
# To let the punishment fit the crime
the punishment fit the crime #
# And make each prisoner pent
unwillingly represent #
# A source of innocent merriment
of innocent merriment #
# His object all sublime #
# He will achieve in time #
# To let the punishment fit the crime
the punishment fit the crime #
# And make each prisoner pent
unwillingly represent #
# A source of innocent merriment
of innocent merriment ##
I am honored in being permitted
to welcome Your Majesty.
I guess the object of Your Majesty's visit.
Your wishes have been attended to.
The execution has taken place.
Oh, you've had an execution, have you?
Yes.
The coroner has just handed me
his certificate.
I am the coroner.
"At Titipu,
in presence of the lord chancellor...
lord chief justice, attorney general...
secretary of state
for the Home Department...
lord mayor and...
groom of the second floor front"?
They were all present, Your Majesty.
I counted them myself.
A very good house. I wish I'd
been in time for the performance.
A tough fellow he was too,
Your Majesty.
A man of gigantic strength.
His struggles were terrific.
It was really a remarkable scene.
Describe it!
# Th-Th-The criminal cried
as he dropped him down #
# In a state of wild alarm #
# With a frightful, frantic,
fearful frown #
# I bared my big r-right arm #
# I seized him by his little pigtail #
# And on his knees fell he #
# As he squirmed and struggled
and gurgled and guggled #
# I drew my snickersnee #
# My snickersnee #
# Oh, never shall I
forget the cry #
# Or the shriek that shrieked he #
# As I gnashed my teeth
when from its sheath #
# I drew my snickersnee #
# We know him well
He cannot tell #
# Untrue or groundless tales #
# He always tries to utter lies
and every time he fails #
# He shivered and shook
as he gave the sign #
# For the stroke he didn't deserve #
# When all of a sudden
his eye met mine #
# And it seemed to brace his nerve #
# For he nodded his head
and kissed his hand #
# And he whistled an air, did he #
# As the saber true
cut cleanly through #
# His cervical vertebrae #
# His vertebrae #
# When a man's afraid
a beautiful maid #
# Is a cheering sight to see #
# And it's, oh, I'm glad
that moment sad #
# Was soothed by sight of me #
# Her terrible tale
you can't assail #
# With truth it quite agrees #
# Her taste exact
for faultless fact #
# Amounts to a disease #
# Now, though you'd have said
that head was dead #
# For its owner dead was he #
# It stood on its neck
with a smile well-bred #
# And bowed three times to me #
# It was none of your
impudent offhand nods #
# But as humble as could be #
# For it clearly knew
the deference due #
# To a man of pedigree #
# Of pedigree #
# And it's, oh, I vow
this deathly bow #
# Was a touching sight to see #
# Though trunkless yet
it couldn't forget #
# The deference due to me #
# This haughty youth
he speaks the truth #
# Whenever he finds it pays #
# And in this case
it all took place #
# Exactly as he says #
# Exactly, exactly, exactly, exactly #
# As he says ##
All this is very interesting,
and I should like to have seen it.
But we came about a
totally different matter.
A year ago, my son, the heir to the throne
of Japan, bolted from our imperial court.
Indeed?
Had he any reason to be dissatisfied
with his position?
None whatever. On the contrary,
I was going to marry him.
And yet he fled.
I am surprised that he should
have fled from one so lovely.
That's not true.
No.
He's now masquerading in this town,
disguised as a second trombone.
A second trombone!
Yes. Would it be troubling you too
much if I asked you to produce him?
He goes by the name of, uh - of, uh -
- Nanki-Poo.
- Nanki-Poo.
Nanki-Poo?
Oh, not at all.
It's quite easy. Uh -
Th-That is, it's rather difficult.
In point of fact, he's gone abroad.
Gone abroad?
See here! His name!
Nanki-Poo - beheaded this morning.
Oh, where shall I find another?
Where shall I find another?
Dear, dear, dear.
This is very tiresome.
My poor fellow, in your anxiety
to carry out my wishes...
you've beheaded
the heir to the throne of Japan.
I beg to offer an unqualified apology.
I desire to associate myself
with that expression of regret.
We really hadn't the least notion.
Of course you hadn't.
How could you?
If a man of exalted rank chooses
to disguise himself as a second trombone...
he must take the consequences.
I've no doubt he thoroughly
deserved all he got.
We are infinitely
obliged to Your Majesty.
Much obliged, Your Majesty.
Very much obliged, Your Majesty.
Obliged? Not a bit. Don't mention it.
How could you tell?
No. Of course we couldn't tell
who the gentleman really was.
It wasn't written on his forehead,
you know.
It might have been
on his pocket handkerchief...
but Japanese don't use
pocket handkerchiefs.
I forget the punishment for compassing
the death of the heir apparent.
"Punishment. "
Hmm. Yes. Uh -
Uh -
Something lingering,
with boiling oil in it, I fancy.
Something of that sort.
I think boiling oil occurs in it,
but I'm not sure.
And I know it's something
humorous, but lingering -
with either boiling oil
or melted lead.
Come, come.
Don't fret. I'm not a bit angry.
If Your Majesty will accept our
assurance, we had no idea -
- Of course.
- I knew nothing about it.
I wasn't there.
Unfortunately, the fool of an act says
"compassing the death of the heir apparent. "
Yes.
- There's not a word in it
about a mistake. - No.
- Or not knowing.
- No!
- Or having no notion.
- No.
- Or not being there.
- No.
- There should be, of course.
- Yes.
But there isn't.
That's the slovenly way
these acts are always drawn.
Now, let's see.
About your execution -
Would after luncheon suit you?
Can you wait till then?
Oh, yes. We can wait till then.
Very well then.
We'll make it tomorrow, after luncheon.
Um, I shan't want any lunch.
Well! And a nice mess
you've got us into...
with your nodding head and "the
deference due to a man of pedigree. "
Merely corroborative detail,
intended to give artistic verisimilitude...
to an otherwise bald
and unconvincing narrative.
Corroborative detail indeed.
Corroborative fiddlestick.
Oh, you're just as bad as he is...
with your cock-and-a-bull story about
catching his eye and whistling an air.
But that's so like you.
You must put in your oar.
But how about your big right arm?
Yes. And your snickersnee.
Yeah. Well, well -
Well, never mind about that now.
There's only one thing to be done.
Nanki-Poo hasn't started yet.
He must come to life again at once.
Nanki-Poo! Nanki-Poo!
- I'm a dead man, and I'm off
for my honeymoon. - Oh, wait, wait.
Nanki-Poo! Nanki-Poo!
I've good news for you.
- You're reprieved.
- Oh, but it's too late.
Nonsense.
A terrible thing has just happened.
It seems that you are
the son of the Mikado.
Oh, but that happened some time ago.
Is this a time for airy persiflage?
Your father is here -
and with Katisha.
- My father? And with Katisha?
- Yes. He wants you particularly.
Oh! So does she.
- But he's married now. - Bless me
heart. What has that got to do with it?
Well, Katisha claims me in
marriage, but I'm married already.
Consequently, she'll insist on my execution,
and my wife will have to be buried alive.
I don't know what's to be done.
There's one chance for you. If you
can persuade Katisha to marry you -
Ah, but wait.
I can then come to life without
any fear of being put to death.
I marry Katisha?
I really think it's the only course.
But, my good girl...
have you seen her?
She's something appalling.
Well, it comes to this: While Katisha is
single, I prefer to be a disembodied spirit.
When Katisha is married, existence
will be as welcome as the flowers in spring.
# The flowers that bloom in the spring
Tra-la #
# Breathe promise of merry sunshine #
# As we merrily dance and we sing
Tra-la #
# We welcome the hope that they bring
Tra-la #
# Of a summer of roses and wine #
# Of a summer of roses and wine #
# And that's what we mean
when we say that a thing #
# Is welcome as flowers
that bloom in the spring #
# Tra-la-la-la-la
Tra-la-la-la-la #
# The flowers that bloom in the spring #
# Tra-la-la-la-la
Tra-la-la-la-la #
# Tra-la-la-la-la-la #
# The flowers that bloom in the spring
Tra-la #
# Have nothing to do with the case #
# For I've got to take under my wing
Tra-la #
# A most unattractive old thing
Tra-la #
# With a caricature of a face #
# With a caricature of a face #
# And that's what I mean when I say
or I sing #
# Oh, bother the flowers
that bloom in the spring #
# Tra-la-la-la-la
Tra-la-la-la-la #
# Bother the flowers of spring #
# Tra-la-la-la-la
Tra-la-la-la-la #
# Tra-la-la-la-la-la #
# The flowers that bloom in the spring
Tra-la #
# Have nothing to do with the case #
# For I've got to take under my wing
Tra-la #
# A most unattractive old thing #
# With a caricature of a face #
# With a caricature of a face #
# And that's what I mean
when I say or I sing #
# Oh, bother the flowers
that bloom in the spring #
#Tra #
# Tra-la-la-la-la
Tra-la-la-la-la #
# Oh, bother the flowers of spring #
# Tra-la-la-la-la
Tra-la-la-la-la #
# Tra-la-la-la-la-la ##
Katisha.
The miscreant who robbed me
of my love.
But vengeance pursues.
They are heating the cauldron.
Katisha, behold a suppliant
at your feet.
Katisha, mercy.
Mercy?
Had you mercy on him?
You have slain my love.
Well, he is dead,
and where shall I find another?
It takes years to train
a man to love me.
Where shall I find another?
Here.
Here!
What?
Katisha, for years I have loved
you with a white-hot passion...
which is slowly but surely
consuming my very vitals!
Ah, shrink not from me.
Kat -
Katisha, I dare not
hope for your love...
but I will not live without it.
Darling!
You! You, whose hands still reek
with the blood of my betrothed...
dare to address words of passion to
the woman you have so foully wronged?
I do. Accept my love,
or I perish on the spot!
Go to!
Who knows so well as I that no one
ever yet died of a broken heart.
You know not what you say.
Listen.
# On a tree by a river a little tomtit #
# Sang
Willow, tit-willow, tit-willow #
# And I said to him
Dickey bird, why do you sit #
# Singing
Willow, tit-willow, tit-willow #
# Is it weakness of intellect, birdie
I cried #
# Or a rather tough worm
in your little inside #
# With a shake of
his poor little head #
# He replied #
# Oh, willow - #
# Tit-willow, tit-willow #
# He slapped at his chest
as he sat on that bough #
# Singing
Willow, tit-willow, tit-willow #
# And a cold perspiration
bespangled his brow #
# Oh, willow, tit-willow, tit-willow #
# He sobbed and he sighed #
# And a gurgle he gave #
# Then he plunged himself
into the billowy wave #
# While an echo arose #
# O'er the suicide's grave #
# Oh, willow #
# Tit-willow, tit-willow #
# Now I feel just as sure
as I'm sure that my name #
# Isn't "Willow, tit-willow,
tit-willow" #
# That 'twas blighted affection
that made him exclaim #
# Oh, willow, tit-willow, tit-willow #
# And if you remain callous
and obdurate #
# I shall perish as he did #
# And you will know why #
# Though I probably shall not #
# Exclaim as I die #
# Oh, willow #
# Tit-willow #
# Tit-willow ##
Ko-Ko!
Now then, we've had a capital lunch,
and we're quite ready.
Have all the painful
preparations been made?
Your Majesty, all is prepared.
Then produce the
unfortunate gentleman...
and his two well-meaning
but misguided accomplices.
Mercy for Ko-Ko.
Mercy for Pitti-Sing.
Mercy even for Pooh-Bah.
I beg your pardon. I don't think
I quite caught that remark.
Mercy even for Pooh-Bah.
My husband that was
to have been is dead...
and I have just married
this, uh, miserable object.
Oh. You've not been long about it.
No. We were married
before the registrar.
I am the registrar.
I see.
But my difficulty is that, as
you have slain the heir apparent -
- The heir apparent is not slain.
- Bless my heart. My son!
And your daughter-in-law-elected.
Traitor! You have deceived me!
Yes. You are entitled to
a little explanation...
but I think he'll give it better whole
than in pieces.
Your Majesty, it's quite true that
I stated that I had killed Nanki-Poo.
Yes, with most affecting particulars.
It's like this, Your Majesty:
When your Majesty says,
"Let a thing be done"...
that thing is as good as done -
practically, it is done -
because Your Majesty's will is law.
Your Majesty says,
"Kill a gentleman" -
Well, a gentleman is
told off to be killed.
Consequently,
that gentleman is as good as dead -
practically, he is dead.
Well, if he is dead,
why not say so?
I see. Nothing could possibly
be more satisfactory.
# With joyous shout
With joyous shout and ringing cheer #
# Inaugurate
Inaugurate their new career #
# With joyous shout and ringing cheer
Inaugurate their new career #
# With joyous shout and ringing cheer
Inaugurate their new career #
# With song and dance #
# With song #
# And #
# Dance ##