[d]
NARRATOR [READING]:
[d]
We-sa in trouble!
Big trouble!
[BLUBBERING]
It's
an Imperial attack!
I can't figure out
why our sign
didn't throw them off.
WEDGE:
Evacuate to the backup base
on Kashyyyk.
The Wookiees
will protect us!
YODA:
Terrible this is.
Dark times we are in.
Yes.
Allowing Vader to get away with
the Holocrons was calamitous.
Lucky we are that our old friend
answered our call for help.
QUI-GON JINN: I certainly did!
Hm?
Qui-Gon Jinn here,
ready to pitch in.
Oh, yes,
of course.
That was you
we were calling.
[WHISPERS]:
That wasn't him we were calling.
Know that I do.
When I heard
your call,
I came right away
to help my friends.
It means so much that you...
Master Yoda,
this is Jek.
I'm on my way
to assist Luke Skywalker.
I should be there--
Yes, yes, you thank.
Ahem. Go gotta.
So you didn't call
for me?
Well, of course we did.
We need you too.
For something
only you can do.
Hm, yes.
Help we need, eh,
opening this pickle jar.
You remembered how good
I am at opening things.
Let me at it.
I have a very particular
set of skills.
[d]
What is thy bidding,
my master?
He's tied up right now.
It's important.
Everybody says that.
But it's very import--
[GRUNTS]
B--
[GRUNTS]
Ah--
[GRUNTS]
Oh, hang on.
[RECORDED IMPERIAL
THEME PLAYING]
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Please continue to hold.
Your call is
very important to us.
Please continue to hold.
Your call is
very important to us.
[SLURPING]
Please continue...
Okay, what is it
this time?
My Lord,
Naboo has been routed.
Which rebel-loving planet
shall we attack next?
Yes, it's a place
you know well.
And according to my spy,
Luke Skywalker
is there right now.
Tatooine.
Tatooine?
That would
lead me back home.
W-why did you say it
like that?
One of my chest buttons
got stuck.
[WARPED]:
It h-happens
from time to ti-ti-ti-ti--
[d]
4-LOM:
So you helped
destroy the Death Star?
Well, I don't like
to brag.
Tell me more.
[BEEPS]
If you'd really like to know,
I did play a major role.
It was I who relayed
Master Luke's request to Artoo
to turn off the trash compactor.
[BEEPS]
Not now, Artoo,
can't you see I'm in a meeting?
And at the medal ceremony,
Master Luke nodded at me.
[BEEPING]
Oh, Artoo,
this had better be good.
Or not good!
[PLAYING "CANTINA THEME"]
[CHATTERING]
[LEIA SIGHS]
Wedge and the others barely
got out of Naboo alive.
Oh, as long as the Emperor
has the Holocrons,
he and Vader will hound us
to the ends of the Galaxy.
No place will be safe.
Exactly.
[ROARS]
That's why we have
to attack the Emperor
on Coruscant
to take the Holocrons back.
[MUSIC AND CHATTER STOP]
Kid, you've been sleeping
with that flashlight thing
of yours too close
to your brain.
That's a crazy idea.
You just
said it yourself.
No place
will be safe as long
as the Emperor
has the Holocrons.
There's no other choice.
We have
to get them back, and now.
It's too dangerous.
I say we hide out here
and hope
the Empire doesn't find us.
[CRASHING]
LUKE:
Uh, I think they found us.
Master Luke,
the city is under attack.
Hey,
we don't allow droids in here.
[BLASTER FIRES]
No blasters either.
ALL:
Lighten up a little.
Sorry. Go ahead.
[d]
Master Yoda,
I've arrived on Tatooine.
I only hope I'm not too...
You hope
you're not too what?
Why do I always feel like
a duck in a shooting gallery?
[GRUNTS]
We have to get
to the base on Kashyyyk.
We'll take the Falcon.
This way.
LUKE:
Ah! An All-Terrain
Armoured Transport.
You're trapped,
Skywalker.
Your only move now
is to surrender.
Or run.
Turn this thing around.
Yes, my Lord, at once.
ADMIRAL PIETT:
Forward, hard right, back.
Hard left, forward,
hard right.
VADER:
Sometime this year
would be nice.
HAN:
In here.
[GASPS]
Eh, sorry, wrong bay.
[ALL GRUNTING]
LUKE:
My ship is in this one.
Luke Skywalker.
[GASPS]
[ALL YELLING]
You guys are
pretty popular today.
Luke Skywalker,
I was sent here
by Obi-Wan Kenobi
to help you.
Why should
we follow you?
Who are you anyway?
[JABBA THE HUTT GRUNTS]
He's my new best friend,
that's who he is.
Come with me
if you want to live.
If?
Of course we want to live.
That's the dumbest thing
I've ever heard.
You know,
you really should be nicer
to people
who are saving you.
Argh.
VADER:
I really, totally,
most definitely,
and without a doubt
have you--
Super Droids
to the rescue!
[ALL CHEERING]
Oh, come on.
Not that rust bucket again.
Not to worry.
I'll turn us around again.
Forward,
hard right, back,
hard left, forward,
hard right.
I've had enough of this.
Great going, Threepio.
It was quite courageous
of me if I do say so my--
You'll never escape.
Ah! I need
somewhere to hide.
Artoo, I'm coming in.
[BEEPING]
I'll make us invisible.
Watch this.
Come on.
Why won't you work?
I think this ship
is contagious.
Here comes trouble.
This usually
works.
[ROARS]
Huh?
[GRUNTS]
Okay, now that's cheating.
Works every time.
[BOTH SIGH]
Getting too super-old
for this I am.
Yes.
That was
nearly a tragedy.
Oh. I'll say.
This jar
almost didn't open,
but I got it.
Oh, yes.
Great is your skill,
my friend.
So awkward this is.
[d]
VADER:
...then the Sith Clone
made the ship invisible,
and they all got away.
Lord Vader, you have
failed me for the second,
or was it the third time?
Well, no biggie,
you've got a few more times
before I really get mad.
Anyway, the Rebels
won't escape us for long.
Not as long as I've got
my magic cubes.
There must be some Rebel-loving
planet we haven't attacked yet.
Nope, did it,
did it, crushed it.
Did it, did it, crushed it.
Did it, did it.
Hey, this one stars "old you."
Huh?
Boring.
Yes.
Who would want to see who
they once were in a former life?
Ah, here we are.
Let's go
to the movies.
VADER:
Where are the Senators?
Gone.
icked 'em all out.
[WHISTLING]
EMPEROR: Hey, you.
Yes?
Senator Yaun
of Bureaucratosis.
I thought
old you to vamoose.
Blah, blah, blah?
Yes, "blah, blah, blah."
Out.
[YUAN SCREAMS]
Gonzo.
Now, let's see
what we've got.
That's not very nice.
EMPEROR:
The Wookiees betrayed me.
And after
I excused them
from the "must wear pants"
rule.
Prepare to attack
Wookiee World.
Its name is Kashyyyk,
my Lord.
It's in the Mytaranor Sector
of the Mid Rim.
Wow.
You're a real
Star Wars nerd, aren't you?
[d]
It's just
a matter of time
before the Empire
finds us and attacks.
Our only choice is to launch
a raid on Coruscant
and get the Holocrons back.
But how?
If I may
make a suggestion...
Let me guess.
A trap?
No. I was going
to say a ruse.
When can you
launch your raid?
As soon as the ships
are repaired.
Chewie, you were
supposed to weld
the green power couplings,
not the red ones.
[ROARS]
You are not color blind.
Stop being stubborn.
Now I have to start all over.
Let me help.
Thanks,
but we don't need your--
Uh? Oh.
Mr. Crazy Crystal,
I think you and I
are gonna be good friends.
YOUNG OBI-WAN:
No, Anakin,
that way is forbidden.
ANAKIN:
Rules are made to be broken,
Master.
Ha, ha, ha, Anakin,
why do I get the feeling
you'll be
the death of me? Ha.
You know, when you say that,
it really burns me up.
When you guys
joke around like this
it makes me want
to get tossed out
a high window
with my arm cut off.
[LAUGHTER]
[GROANS]
Make it stop.
[BEEPS, CLANGS]
Prepare the fleet
for attack.
We believe
the Emperor keeps
the Holocrons
in one of two places:
his office
in the Senate Building,
or the old Holocron Vault
in the Jedi Temple.
That's great, but none of us
have ever been there.
We'll be flying blind.
The droids and I
were there long ago.
Yes, but as much
as I would love to participate
in this supremely
dangerous mission,
sadly my memory has been wiped,
so I wouldn't be any help.
Darn the luck.
Fortunately, I have
a complete set of plans.
[GROANS]
[BEEPS]
Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi,
you're my only hope.
Oops.
lp me, Obi-Wan Kenobi...
Wrong disc. Hang on.
Ever wonder why we don't have
digital downloads yet?
They're coming.
Digital downloads?
No, the Empire.
Vader is on the attack.
I feel it.
No time to wait.
We have to launch now.
[d]
LUKE:
To Coruscant.
To Kashyyyk.
[d]
They're in.
Oh, I can't bear
to watch.
But if Artoo
should suffer damage
in the attack,
I will gladly donate
any of my circuits
or gears to save him.
None of your parts
fit him and you know it.
Eh, well, yes, but surely
it's the thought that counts.
And if they did fit him,
I'd be deviled--
[POWERS DOWN]
That's enough, would have suf--
For the Republic!
[ALL SCREAMING]
Huh?
Where is everybody?
VADER [OVER SPEAKER]:
Your puny Rebellion
is about to be...
Where is everybody?
Artoo and I know
the Holocron vault.
We'll go there.
Han and I will take
the Emperor's office.
You guys know what to do.
[ROARS]
Wedge, you and your team
stand by.
Roger that, Luke.
Here we go.
[ARTOO BEEPS]
ROYAL GUARD:
Halt in the name
of the Emperor.
[d]
[ALL SCREAMING]
I'm liking this guy
more and more.
VADER:
Hello? Anybody here?
[WHIMPERS]
Rebels...
[WARPED]:
Come out and play.
[CLEARS THROAT]
So...
Rebels?
[HOLOGRAM BEEPING]
[VADER GRUNTS]
Get back here.
We're under attack.
By whom?
Ewoks.
Who do you think?
The Rebels.
And all my Storm Troopers
are with you.
Get back here now!
Yes, my Lord.
Let's go.
Move, move.
[GRUNTS]
What a klutz.
[GRUNTS]
Nobody saw that.
Red Leader,
this is Gold Leader.
Ready to act
on your orders.
Copy that, Gold Leader.
Gold Leader,
this is Blue Leader.
Blue Leader,
this is Green Leader.
Red, Gold,
Blue and Green Leaders,
this is "Kind Of
A Brownish Purple Leader."
That's enough, Leaders!
Focus on the mission.
I forgot.
What are
we waiting for again?
That. Fire!
[d]
Oh, I don't think so.
[WHISTLES]
[WHIMPERING BEEP]
Hm, the Holocrons
aren't here.
[SCREAMS AND GRUNTS]
This place is huge.
How are we gonna find
the Emperor's office?
Uh, I'm guessing
it's that one.
EMPEROR:
Gotta go,
gotta go, gotta go.
His door
is probably locked.
Who said anything
about a door?
[GUARDS SCREAM]
I have got
to get stronger windows.
All right, Emperor Palpatine,
give us back our Holocrons.
Okay, okay,
I surrender.
You're not the Emperor.
[BOTH GROANING]
I'm the Emperor.
You're not too smart,
are you, Skywalker?
Uh. Hey.
You must be this
"Han Solo"
I've been hearing about.
Now who's not smart?
[BOTH GRUNTING]
Think you
can take me on, boy?
Obviously.
Now this is dog fighting.
Kind of Brownish
Purple Leader down!
Get off me,
you stupid droid.
[BEEPING]
[POWERING DOWN]
Those Holocrons
have many uses.
Let's go.
[BEEPS]
[d]
You are a weak
pathetic farm boy.
Oh, yeah? Well,
your teeth are yellow.
Words can hurt, you know.
[GRUNTS LOUDLY]
Whoa.
[GRUNTS]
[GRUNTS]
[LUKE SCREAMING]
EMPEROR:
You'll never capture me.
[CAMERA FLASHES]
JAWAS:
Utini.
[ALL GRUNTING]
Utini.
[LAUGHING]
[GROANS]
[GUNS COCKING]
Wookiees. Why did it
have to be Wookiees?
[WOOKIEES ROAR]
[LUKE GRUNTING]
You're surrounded,
Your Excellency.
Hand over the Holocrons.
Never.
[d]
Take one more step
and I'll destroy them.
Go ahead,
destroy them.
What?
What?
[ALL ROAR]
ALL:
What?
What?
The Holocrons are worth more
to you than they are to us.
Destroy them, I dare you.
I'll do it.
Here I go.
Zappity zappity.
Go ahead.
Never!
Then I guess
we'll have to do it.
Jek?
Gladly.
No!
[d]
EMPEROR:
I hope this never happens
to me again.
All right.
Yeah.
Way to go.
[WOOKIEES ROARING]
Now let's
get out of here.
[MOANS AND GROANS]
That was odd.
I must have missed
all the action.
EMPEROR:
You think so? Up here.
Get me down.
Oh. Oh, my.
Yes, you should
be ashamed.
It's not that.
I-I can see
your underpants.
What? J-Just get me down.
A bold move
by Luke that was.
And risky.
I can't believe
the Holocrons have gone.
What do we do now?
How will Luke
become a Jedi?
I know.
Luke is smart.
He sacrificed
the Holocrons
so they couldn't be used
for evil ever again.
You will train him.
Yoda. Of course.
That's brilliant.
I'm not sure if the time
is right, though.
He's a little immature.
[GRUNTS]
Yes, a boy he still is.
Not Luke, you.
Next time, tell the truth,
and open your own pickle jars.
[GRUNTS]
[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING]
d It's time to boogie d
d Let's groove, yeah d
d It's time to boogie d
HAN:
What's up?
Luke, I've seen
some great Jedi in my day.
And you've got
something special.
Thanks.
I know I did
the right thing,
but I still wish I could've
gotten my hands on
just one of those Holocrons.
[WOOKIEES ROAR]
That can
be arranged.
[BEEPS]
Oh, man.
I can finally see
a great Jedi in action.
Whoever that is,
he's amazing.
Someday, I hope
I turn out just like him.
[d]