MAN: Women don't understand,
you know?
I mean,
I don't know what they expect.
Er, well, I guess I do know
what they expect.
WOMAN: So last night,
we were trying
and I just felt so ill,
I... I threw up.
WOMAN 2:
I gave masturbation another go.
WOMAN 3:
How'd it go?
No orgasm,
not even arousal, darn it.
Can you tell me
how you first find out
that you might be asexual?
Oh.
I never,
I never felt the attraction.
It was about fifth grade, so.
I've...
I will say I feel much better
not studying the porn
all the time.
Um, that was a great suggestion
from you guys.
WOMAN 3: Well that's great!
Congratulations.
MAN: Thank you.
So we have a new face.
Welcome.
It's your first time?
Yes. Hi, I'm Olivia.
Hi, Olivia.
Hey.
WOMAN 3: Hi, Olivia.
And I'm here because
I think I might be...
Um, I'm 27.
And I don't have any clue
as to what my orientation is.
Well many of us tried on
different orientations
Gay.
Bi.
Straight.
MAN:
Cross dresser.
But it wasn't until
we found other Aces
that we could really find
a label that fit.
But I haven't tried
anything, though.
Olivia, Asexual Support
welcomes you.
Thank you.
Um, hi.
Wow!
This is so awkward, um...
I guess I'm...
searching?
I think I have a...
an issue with intimacy.
So I don't really know
what it's like to...
to have a relationship.
You know we are in a society
where people are, like,
force-fed sex constantly.
Why do we need that much...
sex?
And I just, it, I...
Heh. I can't function.
I can't function normally
in society, and it...
I need...
I need to work on that.
Thanks.
Olivia.
I think you might
wanna try out
some different
support groups.
What do you mean?
Sometimes people use
asexuality to hide.
There's no right
or wrong, but...
it's just all about finding
the right fit for you.
Ok.
Ok?
Uh-huh.
[POP MUSIC PLAYS]
[INHALES]
For the record, I don't
think you're an asexual.
Who told you?
In the bathroom.
Ok, so it's something that I've
been looking into as an option.
One that fits quite well,
actually.
You might also wanna
try sex as an option too.
Ah, ok.
Too much pressure.
OLIVIA: So in reality it wasn't
the Simone de Beauvoirs
but the Shulamith Firestones
that paved the way
for the Riot Grrrls...
Olivia! Congratulations
on the Provosts' grant.
I'm very happy
for you.
Thank you. Bye.
OLIVIA: "Once conform,
"once do what other people
do because they do it,
"and a lethargy steals
over all the finer nerves
and faculties of the soul."
"She becomes all outer show
and inward emptiness;
"dull, callous,
and indifferent."
Excuse me.
Excuse me. Karl is it?
Uh, please tell me,
why are you here?
You have no concept of a
brilliant mind's deepest thoughts.
This is an upper level course,
and you guys are sitting here
pretending like
you're fulfilling
some breadth requirement
with no care in the world
except your next date or screw!
Well you know what,
I've had it
with you cocksuckers!
[GASPS]
Class is dismissed!
[MURMURING]
Olivia.
Olivia, are you ok?
I'm a horrible person!
You're just stressed.
It happens.
[CRYING]
I just blew up at them.
Olivia, do you think
this has anything to do
with that asexuality group?
Does everybody
know about that?!
Your friends have just been
a little concerned,
I mean you've been
a little freaked out lately...
Yeah. Well, I'm frustrated
by the porn-centric culture!
I think maybe you should just
get it over with, you know.
I mean,
just go to a bar...
I'm not gonna take my life in
my hands with some stranger.
I think you're putting a lot
of importance on this act.
That's easy enough
for you to say.
You've been doing it
for years
with a variety of partners.
I have been lucky.
Sorry.
Well, I haven't.
So for me,
there's asexual support.
Asexual Support System.
ASS. Heh-heh.
MAN: That performance can't
be repeated
if you're to continue teaching
your own seminars, Olivia.
I know. It won't.
You see, aside from
your free-floating rage,
there is a concern
in this department
that you lack
the life experience
to take on Modernism and Realism
as you've chosen to do.
But all I've ever wanted
to do is be a professor,
and all I've ever loved
my entire life is language.
And yet you seem unconcerned
with the very stuff
language expresses...
our shared struggles,
our deepest humanity.
You seem averse
to self-exploration.
Nothing personal has emerged
in your work.
Well...
what do you suggest
that I do then?
Live a little.
So he just told you
that you need to live more?
Yes! I don't even know
what that means.
Hey, stranger.
Hey!
Hi.
Sorry,
I know that's annoying.
Sorry.
No, it's ok.
No, um... I respect both
of you a lot. So it's ok.
Doesn't she look
terrific today?
Yeah.
Yeah, you look good.
Yeah, thanks.
A skirt can help
with the transition
into the superficial object
of male desire,
but my entire being
is basically untouchable.
I am aware of that.
Ok, I'm just
going to go back to work.
No, no wait!
What if you had sex
with Julian?
I mean,
you guys get along.
I... I...
Yeah.
Yeah.
Why not?
Um...
Look, I mean it's...
it's not a big deal,
you know.
I mean,
just try him out.
Um, because intercourse
right now
would completely derail
my emerging asexuality.
Heh. I kinda think
maybe it would help
clear some of that stuff up
for you, actually.
Yeah.
It's fun.
No, I...
you guys are in love.
I couldn't possibly get
in the way of that.
You wouldn't.
We have a huge amount
of trust in our relationship.
Well... I, um...
Look, Olivia, it's like,
if I didn't know about it
then it would definitely
be wrong.
But I know about it,
so it's fine.
JULIAN: Yeah.
It makes sense to me.
Mm-hmm.
He's really great too.
Uh, great.
I'm sure, um...
I mean it would be cheaper
than psychotherapy. Heh.
Maybe this weekend?
I'll go
to my parents...
I, uh...
you go over there
and shabam!
Uh...
Do it!
Yeah, ok.
Ok. Ok!
Um, right.
Uh, just text me about it, ok?
I will sext you
about it.
Yeah. Um...
All right, well,
wanna go with me?
Guess I'm having sex.
[CHUCKLING]
MAN: Sleep with Julian?
Felisha's Julian?
That's great!
Why did I ever agree
to this?
It's perfectly logical.
Julian's hot.
I just don't think
I can go through with it.
That's ok, too.
My advisor did encourage
some self-exploration
on behalf of my work.
Your work?
Asexuality is not generally
considered in the discourse.
I... I could be a pioneer...
Whoa. Do it, but don't
pawn it off as work.
An exploration,
an experiment!
[GASPS]
I'll film it!
What, like a porno?
No... a legitimate look
into my own sexuality
and gendering.
Sounds... wrong...
in so many ways.
Are we rolling?
We good?
Ok. [EXHALES]
[CLEARS THROAT]
Hmm.
The subject of the experiment
is me, Olivia Howell.
I'm 27.
Not only am I a virgin,
I have never even made out
with anyone...
other than on stage
in an all-women's production
of Bye Bye Birdie,
but I digress.
Uh, the filming began
because I am a scholar
who believes
in the close reading of texts
as a means
of approaching understanding.
Yet I have repeatedly failed
at my own self-analysis
and hope that this effort
will enable me
to interpret my own situation.
Dating and courtship rituals
have fascinated me
in my studies,
yet confounded me in my life.
I have yet to experience
a scintilla of love,
let alone mutual lust.
But I am embracing
this potentially
degrading experiment
in hopes that it will
shed a light
on my somewhat peculiar nature.
And having sex should make me
a somewhat more typical
human being.
That's it.
[POP MUSIC PLAYS]
[TEA KETTLE WHISTLING]
Is that fence picking on you?
Hey, Ray. Um...
Um, good morning.
I just...
I get stuck on things
a lot, too, so, um...
This is...
your roommate's expecting it.
Uh, well, like most of
Berkeley, he's still asleep so...
I can wait.
Um, no, don't, I...
It's just, I don't...
I can't go into
what's on this,
but it's password protected,
uh, actually,
Defense Departmentally
password protected.
Oh, ok.
He'll get it.
Actually, could you
just give it back?
Can you just give it back?
Um, I just don't want you
to see what's on it.
I thought you said
it was password protected.
Yup. Yes.
It's password protected,
so don't even try.
Ok.
Ok.
Um, goodbye.
Watch out, for the...
because of earlier.
The fence.
Have a good day.
So this is my abode.
James is my best friend,
gay roommate
who, uh, he wasn't openly gay
when he moved in.
Um, and now,
now he is out.
I never got to openly admire my
fellow students in high school.
Now I can.
Wow! To think, for you, the road to gay
was paved by an unrequited
crush on Ray Dingman.
No fashion sense,
but the man is endowed
with the face of an angel.
Uh, let's talk about
your latest accomplishment.
I have a new boyfriend,
Arturo...
Not that.
Uh, before that, please.
I recently lost
my virginity.
Can you elaborate
a little bit?
I'm a rock climber. And I met
this hot instructor mid-cliff...
Can we have the truth,
please?
I posted an ad on Craigslist,
I went for the fellow
with the biggest unit,
a couple of mai tais,
barely remembered it
the next morning.
Wow,
thank you for sharing.
So, um, I am doing this video
strictly for research purposes,
uh, for my thesis.
But the film is,
is about sex so I thought
I would ask you what you think.
I'm in your history class.
You know me real well.
And you're my TA.
And I'm here to help you
have some hot sex.
OLIVIA: Is it really going
to be hot?
I can't believe you're
even asking me this, yes!
Physically what is sex to me,
is that what you're asking me?
OLIVIA: Yes.
How can I describe it
to you?
A man has a penis,
and a woman has a vagina.
You wear tampons, right? Ok.
There's a hole and a rod
and these things
go together, um...
You're kinda like...
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
and like, you wanna, like,
and you...
What kind of film is this
you're, uh,
you're documenting here?
So here I am
walking to Julian's place.
Uh, down an alley.
Uh, I don't even know if this is
his front door or his back door.
But he's not here.
He's still in class. So, um...
we're going to go in here.
Felisha is leaving
for the weekend,
and she is going to donate
Julian to me for two nights.
Lish, why don't you say
something to the camera?
Oh, no.
This is your thing.
I don't want to be
on camera.
Felisha is five years
my junior,
bet lifetimes more
emotionally evolved.
I can't even imagine
what it must be like
to just donate somebody
that you love.
Well, what Julian and I have
is just,
just so special that I just,
I trust him completely.
[DOOR OPENS]
Oh!
Here's Julian.
Hi, Julian!
I didn't know
we were starting already.
Oh, no, we're not.
Can I talk to you a minute?
He's not due back yet.
Objectively, I'm about
to have this experience
with a highly desirable
specimen.
[EXHALES]
I think I'm gonna pass out.
Um, I think I'm gonna go home.
Um, bye, guys.
Bye.
Oh! Um, uh.
Oh, you're leaving?
Yes, I'm going.
Uh, I'll see you later.
Ok, um... bye.
OLIVIA: They were making out
or something,
with me in the next room.
He needs to prove
his loyalty.
She needs to mark him
with her scent.
I guess this is how
they reaffirm their love.
I mean,
perhaps Felisha is seeking
to validate their relationship
through the ease
with which she can just
give Julian away.
It's natural.
Natural.
Strip.
Ok.
Ok.
Um...
Uh...
Um...
Uh...
James!
James, can you come
in here for a second, please?
Um...
Oh! Oh!
That shit's hot.
Can you help me please?
I'm not familiar
with that region.
Yeah, duh, but I seem to have
the muslin stuck or something.
I can't...
I think you're supposed
to apply baby oil first.
Will you just help me,
please?!
This is like hardening into a
relief sculpture as we speak.
I don't know what to do...
Aah!
I'm sorry.
It was the best way.
Oh! You asshole!
You want some tea?
Ow!
[PLASTIC RUSTLING]
This was a mistake.
[SCOFFS]
You'll be fine.
You have no idea
what it's like.
The standards
are every bit as high
if not higher
for gay guys.
It's basically impossible
for anyone sleeping with men.
Well then,
why am I doing this?
It was inevitable,
after you found out about me.
You seemed approachable.
You were a non-threat.
I'll always be here for you...
as a last resort...
Thanks.
But the blind leading
the disgusted?
Pass.
You can just shave the pubes
on the other side.
Uh, God! I'm just not
cut out for sex.
This will help.
[IMITATES HORN]
James, you shouldn't have.
Oh.
If you're set
on filming yourself,
you might as well wear
something pretty.
It goes like that.
It goes like that.
Oh, stop it.
Thank you.
OLIVIA: So far the experiment
seems to be going as planned.
I'm learning a lot.
More than I even wanted
to know perhaps.
But I should reveal to you
a little bit
about my methodology
So, CJ?
Come out, reveal yourself.
Come. Come on.
What?
What do you want?
Introduce yourself,
please.
I'm CJ. Am I done?
No. CJ is our camerawoman.
And just to be completely
honest,
she's also the person that I
made out with in Bye Bye Birdie.
But, CJ is gay, in practice,
and I am asexual...
Heh.
in theory.
Right.
OLIVIA: How do you know, like,
how do you know for sure?
How did I know
I was a lesbian?
I just, you just know.
I don't know.
Do you really think
it's worth it?
You know, all this sex stuff?
You never know
until you try it.
And until you try it
you can't write it off.
Ok, so you've had sex.
Do you think
that I should have sex?
Oh, it's a thrill. It's
like riding a rollercoaster.
It is the greatest experience
you can have in your life,
over and over and over again.
It's a moment of peace, a moment
of natural peace in your day,
which should happen every day.
What about you? What do you
think the big thing about sex is?
Well, I'm trying to find out.
That's what this experiment
is helping me figure out.
Cool.
It's the closest
that two people can be,
physically, emotionally,
spiritually.
That's when
two people become one.
What if part of me
goes into them
and I never get it back?
You'll come back.
It's like any other
experience in life.
Until it actually happens,
you don't know.
You don't know how it's
going to affect you.
But you've gotta
give it a try.
[CJ WHISTLES CATCALL]
Shh!
This is serious, ok.
Oh!
You should film this.
Here. That's great.
Ok.
OK!
I'm wearing heels and a dress.
I have reclaimed
the "victimize me" attire
and it feels slightly sensual,
and slightly annoying.
But I'm waiting here at the
bus stop for my bus to come
which will take me
on the final leg of my journey
for me to lose my virginity.
So...
God, these shoes are killing...
Can I...
can I sit down with you guys?
[POP MUSIC PLAYS]
Say yes to life,
Say yes to love...
These shoes
are killing me.
Who wears these things?
I don't know.
I never... never mind.
Say yes to sex,
Say yes to laughs
Say yes to love,
Life to the max
Say yes, baby
Say yes...
CJ:
Can you wait a moment?
I want to be ready
to film him.
CJ,
I want to let you know
how much
I appreciate everything
it is that you're doing
for me.
Of course.
Ok.
Do you think
I should text him?
No, no.
Try, try the door.
It's unlocked.
Go, go, go.
Julian?
Oh, for God's sakes.
Should we leave
and come back later?
No!
Julian?
Huh...
Oh, shit.
Aw, shit. Sorry!
Yeah.
We'll just be out here.
What's up, Olivia?
I'm Julian.
We haven't meet before.
CJ.
CJ.
What's that stand for?
Charlotte Juliana.
Whoa!
My middle name is Charles.
So I'm Julian Charles.
CJ: Wow!
Charlotte Juliana?
That's like the same name
but in reverse.
Yeah, that's cool.
Yeah, wow, uh.
So, right.
You are obviously
not ready for us, at all.
Yeah.
You see before I racked out
I was actually gonna
jump in the shower,
but then I got to thinking,
I was like,
well maybe I should wait
till you get here,
see if you wanted
to jump in with me...
No. No.
I'm clean.
Oh, yeah? All right, sure.
CJ, why don't we wait here
while you do whatever it is
that you need to do.
[EXHALES]
I don't know
if I can do this.
Olivia, you're making
a huge deal out of this.
It's just a sexual act,
you know.
It's just two bodies
intertwined doing the deed
and afterwards, you know,
have a smoke, have a snack.
Ok.
Definitely take a shower
with him beforehand.
He has this... this weird thing
about the shower.
Ow!
FELISHA: Video games,
he really likes those.
Damn it!
FELISHA: And, uh, I have
some weed in my drawer.
Do you wanna comment
on what's happening?
I... I wanna to clean
this place up right now.
I hope you don't mind.
His cock is really big.
[OLIVIA SCREAMS]
It's more thick than big so...
Gross!
I've heard olive oil helps,
you know, to stretch it out,
so just maybe, like, moisturize.
Um, I think I'm gonna head
into the living room.
I... I think
the shower stopped...
No. You need to stay here.
You need to film this.
Well.
I am beyond letting
worldly matters
like a dirty apartment
and a small pest problem
derail my plan.
I'm not planning to have sex
in the kitchen.
I have lived
through far worse than this.
What are we but bodies,
our flesh, dirt...
[GASPS]
You're dressed.
Should I be dressed?
Um, I...um...
Julian, come here.
Come here.
All right,
you might want to, like,
ease into things.
[GASPS]
Some women like that.
Yeah.
Eh...
I'll be back in a few.
[GASPS]
He was naked!
Maybe we should just go.
No.
No. We are not looking
for perfection here.
Hey.
Would you like
to have a seat?
Whatever you want me to do.
I'm just here to help.
So I brought a few things
with me
that I think might help us
to get into a more contemplative
yet perhaps erotic mood...
I'll just get my bag.
It's stuck on something.
Aah!
Unh.
Felisha's been looking
for that.
Sorry.
Sorry.
It was just a gag gift.
Yeah, I've just
never seen one up close...
and personal.
Don't worry about it.
Uh, I, uh...
like I said,
I brought some things
Yeah, sure.
Ok, my bag...
Here we go.
[CLEARS THROAT]
"His body was urgent
against her,
"and she didn't have
the heart anymore to fight.
"She saw his eyes,
tense and brilliant,
"fierce, not loving.
But her will had left her."
Julian, I... I...
I think you should
take over from here.
I am right here.
[CLEARS THROAT]
"A strange weight
was on her lambs."
Uh, limbs.
Limbs.
Right.
"A strange weight
was on her limbs.
"She was giving way.
"She was giving up.
"She had to lay...
"lie down there
under the bows... boughs
"of the tree, like an
animal, while he waited,
standing there
in his shirt and birches."
Britches!
Heh.
That was cool though.
The whole trees,
animal kingdom thing...
Could you please
not do that? Please.
Ok.
Thank you. Uh, yes.
I think I have
to take a break.
Yeah, sure.
CJ: Olivia?
[GASPING]
Olivia?
Maybe we should just go...
No!
It's making you too upset...
No!
I've been waiting too long.
I've come too close.
I cannot screw this up.
Just start filming.
I've read enough to know
that it is just a physical act,
one that is quite brief,
generally speaking.
It can be satisfactory
amongst complete strangers,
or even pleasurable among people
who are long past love.
Yet something is continually
standing in my way
of me just getting it
over with.
Sandwich?
[MOUTHS WORDS]
Minor horrors
like finding
a used dildo
under a potential
partner's chair.
[SQUIRTING]
I'm gonna get
through this night.
That's why I brought vino.
Just to let you know,
I have never relied
on the bottle before,
and I barely even like
the stuff so.
Well, cheers.
[COUGHS]
You know, I'm thinking,
maybe we should go
lay down on the bed?
Sure.
I would love to lie
on the bed with you!
Uh, as far as
undressing goes,
I think I'm just gonna
hold off for now...
Whatever
you're comfortable with.
And as far as
sitting on the comforter
versus lying
on the top sheet,
I think I might need
a little more...
I don't think
I even have a top sheet.
Right.
Uh, I...
I like you enough
that I am comfortable
sitting on
your unwashed comforter
covered
in your effluvium.
I've got hand sanitizer...
Background, CJ.
Heads up!
Ahh!
What are you doing?!
You were about
to fall off!
It's eight inches
to the ground.
You were about
to hit your head.
I'm staying
where I feel comfortable.
Well, you might want
to cross over to my side.
When you're ready.
All right.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Uh...
Can we turn the light off,
please?
I won't be able
to film anything.
Fine. Fine.
Just keep it on then.
Ok. Could you maybe,
could you...
could you put the camera down, please?
Thank you, CJ,
and now you can go.
What if the camera stops?
That's just a chance
we're gonna
have to take, ok?
I think
I might actually...
take my dress off now.
You want some help?
No, no, no.
I am... no!
I am fine.
Thank you.
Hello.
Hi. Sorry, sorry.
We're finally alone.
Yes.
I think you're pretty.
And so it begins.
So what begins?
The superficial talk.
Never previously a part of our
friendship but necessary now,
considering
the dire circumstance
that I find
myself in right now-
This might be better
if you didn't explain
every little thing
that we do...
Yes, yes. You're right.
Right.
It's a problem.
I like you...
Um, ah! Aah!
There's a cockroach
on my leg!
Let's see it.
He's gone.
He's gone.
Aah!
There it is again!
It's my foot.
See?
Ohh.
Um, God,
I'm so sorry!
Look, we don't have
to do this tonight...
You know, you are so
right. You are so right.
We have
the whole weekend, right?
Ok.
Sure.
You could come by
tomorrow...
Yeah. Or we could just pick
a different location.
Whatever you want.
You know, the...
the daylight would only help
with the filming, right?
Look, you seem really
stressed about this
and this is really just a physical
act, it's not even a big deal.
Yeah. Yeah, I know. And you
are so right to postpone it.
I mean, why force it?
Though our minds may be
willing, our bodies do seem weak,
and thus we are ill-suited
for this tonight.
Goodbye, Julian.
Bye.
CJ,
we're going home!
CJ, I know
what you're thinking,
but this is not
a failure.
Yeah. Whatever.
No,
I have made huge gains.
I practically stripped naked
in front of a man
and laid in bed with him.
I mean, while I didn't
experience any sexual arousal,
some hetero tendencies
were documented.
I just can't believe
you didn't do it.
[BELL CHIMES]
[POP MUSIC PLAYS]
Ain't got no ambition
Ain't got no resolve
But you're on a mission
My problems are solved
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
Julian. Hey.
Wow, what a surprise.
Close your eyes.
Um...
Mmm.
[GASPS]
Oh, hiya.
Mother!
Um... um...
I didn't mean to interrupt...
You didn't mention
an impending visit.
Oh, complete spur of the moment.
I think I'll be going...
Pardon me.
I'm so rude.
Sherri Finch.
Julian.
Mother, you're tattooed.
Also spur of the moment.
Wanna head in
for a little drinkiepoo?
I feel like celebrating.
No, I better be going...
Oh, stay! Let's get to know each other.
We are not dating,
so there is no point.
Hehe.
Well, you never know!
It was nice
to meet you, Mrs...
Sherri.
Sherri
Bye, Olivia.
Hmm. Hot as hell!
Maybe this will go somewhere.
OLIVIA:
What do you care?
You've had no interest
in my life so far.
I boast about you
to everyone!
A genius!
My little Geni-ums-
help me with my bags.
OLIVIA: Mother,
this is quite possibly
the worst weekend for a visit.
Ooh, hello.
Sherri, so good
to see you again.
I'll set another place.
I met him?
When you and Howard
were here for Christmas.
Ahh. I'm so glad that Olivia's
got a nice boyfriend!
Ah, yes. James is not my boyfriend.
Sherri, I don't know if you
remember this, but I'm gay.
Oh, I had no idea!
You'll meet your man.
Mother...
Just have faith.
Yeah,
shocking as it may be,
my self-esteem does not hinge
on me having a man in my life!
Oh, sure, I know.
Ooh, peaches.
I can make bellinis!
Olivia.
Hi...
Ray. Hey.
Um, I saw you.
I'm parked right there.
I can give you a ride.
You don't know
where I'm going.
True.
But this is a bus stop,
so it's local.
Um, where are you going?
To Julian's,
um, a friend's.
Boyfriend.
No.
I need to get
that drive back.
Ok.
Did you look at it?
I did not look at
your password protected
Defense Department
Math Department drive.
No.
Ok. So I'll
pick it up tomorrow.
Ok.
Ok.
OLIVIA: Um, I'd like to ask you
a couple of questions.
Good.
So what are your opinions
on sex?
Um, it's a natural progression.
Profession?
Progression.
Thank God. You scared me
for a second there.
Yes.
So when did you personally
decide to have sex?
I'm sorry, it's...
I...are we talking about like.
I thought I was coming in
as like my scientific approach...
Um, no,
I was I was thinking
more about, like,
what you... what you thought.
Well, the big deal is,
you could potentially die
from it.
Like HPV...
You could?
is one of the leading
causes of cervical cancer so...
That's kinda terrifying.
Handjobs are ok.
I think I've just
I'm screwing this... this...
should you cut?
OLIVIA: What was it like
your first time?
I mean were you,
like, super nervous?
Or were you, like, yeah,
I'm totally going to do this?
Or were you, like,
were you afraid?
Did you have any, like,
physical issues
like heavy breathing
or panic attacks?
God, does this even make
sense for me to have sex?
You know everyone marches
to the beat of their own drum.
You know, everyone kind of moves
at their own pace.
Oh, God.
Come here.
All right?
I know. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Ok.
All right. Just don't blow it this time.
Right. Yeah
Careful with that.
[COUGHING]
Ladies.
Enter.
Ah, she's hot.
It's the other one.
I was just leaving.
Does everybody you know
know about this?
Uh, you were the one
filming it.
Yeah, but not
for public consumption.
Please.
I feel ya.
You have
Death Squad March?
Yes. Are you serious?
You freakin' play?
Yes, every chance I get!
Olivia, could we maybe
play a game?
Me and you could team up.
You guys go ahead.
Nah.
Well, I mean,
I was thinking
if you ladies maybe
wanna smoke a bowl...
You know, it always helps
to loosen me up...
You're the last person
who needs loosening.
I would be up for it.
Not me!
Wait.
After all these years
in Berkeley
you still haven't
tried it?
No!
Well, I mean,
it's your call, but...
All right, suck.
All right, now move it away.
Move it away.
Hold your breath.
Pretend to swallow...
That was interesting.
See what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Maybe we should go film now
in the bedroom.
You got it.
[GIGGLING]
Uh...
[INDISTINCT]
[LATIN MUSIC PLAYS]
May I?
Oh,
that's embarrassing!
Oh, you were doing fine.
The guy I'm dating
is a great dancer.
I have
white man's rhythm...
Oh, come on.
I love the salsa.
Heh.
Yeah.
It's all in the hips.
Oh, how'd you get
so good at this?
I dated
a salsa dancer myself.
You know, I don't think
I'm cut out
for the gay lifestyle.
Oh, you'll get there.
It's not so hard.
Here, it's all about
the hair.
That's right.
Oh, thank you.
You're a big help.
Fabulous! Fabulous!
So Olivia has been getting
her degree for five years,
she can't take two days off
for her mama?
Well, she, uh,
has her reasons.
That thing we did earlier
was so mind-opening.
God,
a cataclysmic event...
I didn't expect you'd have
such a strong reaction
to it your first time.
We are not talking
about sex!
It's that other thing.
That thing that makes you
really hungry.
That's what we did.
CJ: I am hungry,
actually.
Yeah! Let's eat!
Absolutely!
Let's go. Let's eat.
Oh, no! Oh, no.
You're not getting out of it
that easy this time, Missy.
VIDEO GAME:
Prepare to die, Pissant.
Playing with a guy's balls
is the most important thing.
And then focus on his lips.
Role play. Put on hats.
Slowly let him move downward.
And maybe stroke it
at the same time a little bit
to get him hard.
Doggie style, I like that.
I like that.
Hang on.
Let's just do it right now.
Let's get it done.
You wanna just swallow
it all in there.
You want him to be like,
"Oh, my God!"
And then you ease it on down
and jump on it!
I guarantee you he's gonna nut
in two seconds.
If you wanna turn around
and let him shower you, do it!
Wrong drive.
SHERRI:
What was that?
How to explain... ok.
As you may know Olivia has some
issues with her sexuality...
Well, yeah.
She's still a virgin.
Well, she's decided to try
it with this guy Julian,
his girlfriend's fine with it.
And she's going to make
a movie out of it?
No wonder she didn't want
to talk to me.
This might help her.
Are we rolling?
Um, Olivia, look, you know,
I don't understand
why you're a virgin
at 27 years of age.
What are you thinking?
What were you doing
on Prom night?
Everybody looses their virginity
on Prom night.
Are you insane?
Why are you in gender studies?
Do you think you're ever gonna
get a job in gender studies?
What is gender studies?
What is it? What is it?
I don't understand
bi-sexual, homosexual,
asexual, sexual anorexics,
sexual, sexual this,
sexual that, sexual...
identity shit.
Olivia, everybody blames
their mother, all right.
All right, you hate me.
I understand.
Oh, wow. I look really good.
That's great.
This is the Arturo touch.
You look at him.
You look at him.
And you wanna look at him
from an angle like this.
You get in there.
You stick your vagina
right in there,
and you say eat that shit
out motherfucker.
Do you need anything else?
Look, I feel like I'm rambling
a little bit.
Oh, that...
that is not appropriate.
That is not... that is not even
appropriate right now.
Cheers.
Cheers to Olivia.
To Olivia.
To Olivia.
Listen, Olivia. Right now I'm
sure you're doing something
and I hope you're
not thinking about us.
No. Don't think about us.
And especially me.
Especially not your mom.
That's just weird.
No!
God, don't think about me.
That's weird.
Yeah, yeah.
Don't be thinking about...
What do you think
she's doing right now?
[MOANING] Oh!
Oh, that was amazing.
[SIGHS]
[GIGGLES]
Oh, I was, uh...
I was just gonna
use the restroom.
Yeah. Sure. Sure.
Have you ever noticed
that when you're high
your hands turn into these
elfin, puppet-like creatures?
Yeah, so did you do it?
You mean technically,
am I still a virgin?
Yeah.
Well, how do you define
this thing virginity?
CJ:
What happened?!
JULIAN:
We didn't do it.
[LAUGHING, CHATTER]
Oh, my gosh.
What an amazing weekend.
Julian, I...
I am just amazed by you.
You were so patient with me.
Even with all of my craziness.
Wow. I'm just amazed that
you are actually still here.
I didn't really have
any other plans.
And, CJ, you have gone
above and beyond
what any friend could have
possibly been expected to do
with this project.
Thank you.
Well, it was actually
kind of interesting.
Well, I'm obviously not gay
so I hope you're not
disappointed about that.
Ahh... no!
And, Julian, um,
though I'm not sexually
attracted to you right now,
I will admit to a certain
je ne sais quoi
when it comes to, uh,
the kiss we had on my porch.
And, uh,
though it doesn't make me
want to have sex with you...
oh, my advisor's here!
I have to go tell him
about my newest accomplishment!
Hey, I hope you don't
take this personally.
Naw.
I think she has issues.
Yeah, 'cause if she can't
do it with you,
there isn't a guy
out there who's hot enough.
Cool.
I so wish
I was a lesbian right now.
Yeah, well,
maybe in your next life.
Yeah.
Wow, that was weird.
That was not my advisor.
Oh, oh, my.
We had fun dancing so...
Ah! You guys are
the best friends ever.
Thank you.
Thank you, CJ.
Julian.
Um, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.
What's going on here?
It's kind of been building
all weekend.
But, CJ, you're gay!
I... I think
I might be bi.
You should seriously look
into that...
Wait, you... you're a betrayer
is what you are!
Well, you're the one
who's been talking about
exploring your sexuality
all weekend.
I can't believe that this
is happening! Julian...
We're just talking.
This is just friends talking.
No hating.
Maybe we should all just
smoke another bowl...
You know, no.
No.
You know, I have been
duped by you people!
Ok? I have been completely open
with you guys,
and you both know everything
about my pathetic little life,
and you... this is how
you repay me?!
Uh, just keep the blanket.
Can't we just talk
about this?
No. You know what,
as a friend
and as a camerawoman,
you're fired!
Olivia.
CJ: Olivia!
MAN: I mean, people think, like,
oh, you know,
my first time there's
gonna be fireworks.
It's gonna be amazing.
No. It's not.
You do it.
You finish, and you move on.
WOMAN: There was nothing magical
about it.
MAN 2: It was definitely
awkward, but, you know,
things have gotten smoother.
I've worked out the kinks.
MAN 3: I was 16.
I was 15 years old.
I was 17.
I was 16 years old.
I was 20. And...
I was so nervous,
I wore my favorite hat.
It was Halloween. I was 16.
And I was dressed as a girl.
And I wasn't just dressed as a
girl. I was dressed as a hooker.
I actually was
at this bar in New York,
and, uh, I was sitting there,
and I was really drunk.
And I'd never kissed
a girl ever.
I lost my virginity
to a 38-year-old woman,
uh,
at a truck stop in New Mexico.
And she pulled me into the room,
and I said, "What's going on?"
And she came over and she, like,
took off all her clothes
and I was really really nervous.
And she's, like,
"I don't wanna
make you uncomfortable."
And I was like thinking
in my head,
"This is the best thing ever."
It was actually... it happened
when I was in high school.
And it was more of
a peer-pressure thing.
MAN: I met somebody who sort of,
I guess,
tricked me into the ways
of the world.
WOMAN: After that,
I knew that it wasn't right
and I had the courage
to be myself.
And I think that, you know,
it saved my life.
[SIGHS]
Grr!
[PHONE RINGING]
CJ: Hey. It's CJ.
I haven't heard from you.
Well, I'm turnin' in,
so call me tomorrow.
[PHONE RINGING]
God damn it, CJ,
leave me alone!
Hey, it's Felisha...
Oh! Hi. I'm sorry.
Sorry...
Uh. Is Julian around?
I've been texting him
for a while.
Julian, uh, no.
I think... I think he went out.
Oh. So, uh,
how's everything going?
OLIVIA: Ok.
You know things are going
about as expected
at the moment.
I'll see you both tomorrow then.
Yeah, uh,
I may or may not be there.
Oh?
Yeah, I've just got a lot
of things
that I need to do.
How's San Jose?
It's fine.
Um, Olivia?
Yeah?
Um, nothing. Never mind.
Bye.
OLIVIA: Bye.
[CJ GIGGLING]
JULIAN: Come see this.
Touch it.
CJ: What?
No? You won't do that?
[CJ LAUGHING]
[CJ MOANING]
JULIAN: Is that good?
CJ: Yeah, definitely.
I've only seen this
in pornos.
JULIAN:
You're doing fine.
You're doing really fine.
CJ: Oh. Oh.
Yea. Whoo.
JULIAN: You wanna try
being on top?
CJ: I'm so glad
I did this with you.
[DOOR CREAKS OPEN]
Felisha.
Hi.
Hi. Wow.
What a surprise.
Is... is he asleep?
Hah, in a sense.
Is that why we whisper?
Possibly, yes. Yes.
Ok.
Yes. He's asleep.
I just felt like maybe I
should come back early...
Yeah, I think
maybe we should go outside
because I'm having a really
hard time hearing you.
[CJ MOANS]
I heard something.
Oh, I didn't.
What is going on?
Nothing, nothing.
Olivia. What is...
It's really tough
to understand.
Please. You really
don't want to see this.
No!
[FELISHA GASPS]
I'm so sorry, Felisha.
The camerawoman?!
Why is the camerawoman
in the video?!
JULIAN: Uhh...
Please, put some clothes
back on.
This was not
part of the deal!
I'm so sorry, Felisha.
They did this on their own...
JULIAN: Felisha?
Felisha,
let's all calm down...
I thought she was gay.
I did too!
You bitch.
No, no, no, no.
This is no one's fault.
Ok, it might
actually be yours.
You seem bent on reaffirming
the male philandering stereotype.
How could you expect
anything...
No.
Do not blame him, ok.
He was doing you
a favor.
You're all beautiful women.
Things happen the way
that they're supposed to.
CJ, wait!
I can't believe
that I trusted you,
and now Julian's
in love?
Yeah,
clearly I'm a non-threat.
No,
that's not what I meant...
Of course it is!
You think that
you can reaffirm
your relationship
with your boyfriend
by serving him up
to a lesser partner...
No. Not true!
Absolutely true.
Just serve him up
as a sexual sacrifice!
No, I told you why,
Olivia.
It's because I...
it's because I cared
about you as a friend.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
So the experiment has taken
several unexpected turns,
including the end
of some relationships
and the beginning of others
none of which involve me.
[SNIFFLES]
[DOOR OPENS, LAUGHING]
Get in there, sexy man.
Get in there.
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYS]
I am danced out.
I am done dancing.
Oh. She's taking off
her shoes.
JAMES: Hey! Hey, no shoes
in the house.
No shoes. No shirts!
No shirts in the house.
No shirts in the house.
No, sir, no shirts.
No shirts.
No shirts. No shirts.
SHERRI:
No pants in the house.
JAMES:
No pants in the house.
Hey hey!
Ack.
I'm being attacked.
You have to be
careful with...
[LAUGHING]
Wait, is this uncomfortable
for you?
Oh, no.
You know
how many gals my age
get to watch
hot guy-on-guy sex?
Statistically, none.
So which one of you
is the bottom?
BOTH: He is.
What is going on
in here?
Aah!
Mother!
What are you doing?
We didn't know
that you were up, Honey.
We didn't know you'd be home.
Yeah, well, I am.
JAMES: Sorry, Olivia.
Sorry.
You don't look
any different...
You told her?!
What, so my life is an
open book, an open joke?
We all care about you.
If you ever wanted
to share...
Yeah, I would have told
you myself.
I wish.
Ok, here it is.
I'm still a fucking virgin,
Mother!
Oh, well, maybe it
just wasn't meant to be...
You know, you can just save your
feeble clichs for the morning.
Oleo, I'm not going to
be here in the morning.
Oh?
[TOILET FLUSHES]
Well, here it is.
I'm in love!
Sher,
still the free spirit.
Oh, and just so darn
open-minded!
Um, Olivia, this is Dan.
Dan, this is Olivia,
my eldest.
Ah, so nice
to finally meet you.
[GAGS]
Whoa, how are you feeling?
[SIGHS] Much better.
Let me get
you something to wear.
Why is he not
fully clothed?
Because he barfed
all over his shirt.
Should I even bother
asking who he is?
Dan and I were
college sweethearts.
DAN: I remember it
like it was yesterday.
SHERRI: Oh, he always
had a way with words!
Please tell me
that you didn't come up here
to take up with this man.
No! No. It was something
where we wanted
to see where it would go.
It's just like
old times.
You have a husband!
James, you can't just bring
in random strangers
and let them walk around
half naked!
And you wonder
why she's still a virgin.
You, out!
Settle down!
Now!
Wait, wait wait wait.
Let's all talk about this...
Just you and me,
I will not share, ok?
It's not worth
the trouble.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
SHERRI: Oleo...
Mother, just go.
Just go!
Olivia?!
For women like my mother,
sex is simple.
Sex is meant
for people like them.
As for me...
I'm just going to take myself
out of the game.
This concludes the experiment.
Um, Olivia...
I just...
I wanna tell you
that I love you,
and I...
I don't know. I wanna
say so many things to you.
I just have so much in my heart
that I want to say.
And I just...
I just want you
to be happy, sweetie,
and, um...
I'm sorry.
[SIGHS]
[DOOR SLAMS]
Hi. Um... you...
I was just outside.
Me too.
I tried to say something,
but I didn't.
Were you watching me?
No, I just didn't want to
startle you, like the other day.
Great. Um...
Well, next time
maybe you can come by
when I'm not
in my pajamas.
Ok. Um, but I just...
you didn't say a time.
At the bus stop.
Oh, right!
Uh, the drive, right.
Let me go get James.
And you, um...
you can, um,
wait in here, ok?
Well, Ray Dingman is here,
and I would also like to,
um...
apologize for being
such a lunatic last night.
I hope Arturo
isn't too upset
with everything
that went down.
We'll go to his place
next time.
Well,
there won't be any need
because, um...
the experiment's over.
There's no point.
I, uh...
I can't do it.
That's why I was home
last night.
I'm just not made for...
that.
I feel like
I let everybody down.
No, you didn't.
It's ok.
It is. It's ok.
It was an experiment.
I know.
Come here.
Wait.
You did say that Ray?
He's here now?
In the flesh.
What does he want?
Um,
his top secret drive.
I didn't see it yet.
Maybe it's in the computer.
Yes! Ok, here's the drive,
um, excellent!
Hi, Ray.
James.
Hey.
Yes!
Oh, no.
That's not it.
Yes, it is!
Olivia, that's from
your experiment.
Oh, no.
So where's mine?
Where's mine?
Um...
CJ must have taken it!
Who's CJ?
Um, she's the camerawoman.
I'll get it back to you.
I will!
Is this CJ,
is she trustworthy?
Yes, uh, yes!
Um, I thought you said
that it was password protected?
It's not! It's not!!
Oh, God.
Ok, we need to get it back!
I will get it back to you.
I promise. I promise!
So you wanna
know the name of my car?
Sure.
It's Olivia.
I was just kidding.
It was a joke.
[POP MUSIC PLAYS]
Look at yourself
Look at me, dear
Oh! Thank you.
How did we
Become this, dear
Why can't we learn
To solve our trap
You are left
But behind I see black
It's time against your back
Hey.
Hey.
Hey. Julian.
I need the memory card.
I think I left it here.
You're Julian?
Yeah.
Ray.
Uh, about
what happened last night
you know we can work it out...
Maybe I should just wait
out at the car
No, I am sure that your
memory card is here somewhere.
Ok.
Olivia, you know I, like,
think you're attractive, right?
Um, this is
a little awkward.
[GAME PLAYS IN BACKGROUND]
Prepare to die, Pissant!
I know that game.
It's Death Squad March.
Oh, yeah, well,
so I was gonna say,
maybe if you wanna
try it again sometime,
we could,
but, it kinda looks like Ray here
could probably just get it done.
Could get it...
I don't follow.
Um...
The experiment?
Well, I thought you two
might be, like, going out.
You two
aren't going out anymore?
Nah, we never went out.
You know,
chemistry is chemistry.
You either have it
or you don't.
CJ: Julian?
Ready to go again?
Oh, yeah,
I'll be right there!
CJ's still here?
Uh, yeah, I'm gonna go wait in the car.
No, please!
Please. Um...
Hey!
Yeah.
I need the memory card
from your camera.
Oh!
Yay!
Here.
Give me that.
Oh! Oh!
Sweet cherry!
Did you look at this?
Uh, no.
Look, I wasn't this lesbian
chick planning
to mess around with the guy
you were gonna do, ok?
Gonna do?
So you never did do?
Uh, other things
got in the way.
I really did think
I was gay, all right?
Ok, it's fine, CJ.
It's fine.
I'm really not a bad person.
Yeah, I believe you.
Yeah, great.
So now that we have
our mission accomplished,
we're gonna go.
So...
Yeah. Um, CJ, have fun
with the brain dead zombie.
Come again?
Level 8,
Death Squad March?
Maybe you haven't gotten
that far.
Are you starting
something?
No, he's not.
Come on. Let's go.
JULIAN: I didn't even know
there was a Level 8.
Ray, I'm really sorry
about your drive.
I hope I didn't compromise
any valuable information.
To be honest,
there wasn't anything
work-related on the drive.
I thought you said something
about the Defense Department,
and...
Yeah, I did say that.
Um...
Why would you lie
about something like that?
I had a good reason.
Well, usually
I'm quite reliable
about these kinds
of things, but...
Would your experiment
have something to do with that?
Yes.
I just can't talk about it.
Shall we?
[POP MUSIC PLAYS]
You see my friend
Now they're anxious
to come down
We feel it work out
We have to sing
to the trees around
Holy oaks,
it's nice to meet you
Thanks for letting us...
OLIVIA: Oh, actually, my
apartment's back the other way.
RAY: I know.
I just need to make
a quick detour,
if that's ok.
OLIVIA: Sure.
So what are we doing?
Oh. This is Tilden Park.
I come here every morning.
I like the sundial
and the view.
You ever been up here?
No.
I didn't even ask you
if this was ok.
No, it's fine.
It's beautiful.
Cool.
So come here,
you gotta see this.
See?
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
So what was on that drive?
There was this bet.
What kind of bet?
This could be a date.
Is this a date?
Um...
You didn't answer my question.
A dating bet.
Now I'm a little lost.
Now you didn't answer
my question.
Ok, fine, yes,
this is a date.
Good.
Ok, so James and I,
um, we weren't getting out
very much.
So we made a bet,
a dating bet.
And, um, if I lost
I had to provide him
with some pictures.
Because there was
this discussion
about the men in our
department and who had,
based on quality and size,
and rumor was I had.
So the big...
this is embarrassing.
I feel like
I'm freaking you out.
No, I, um.
I would never allow
such information
to color my opinion of you.
I didn't think
you would.
So what's the experiment?
Yeah.
Um...
It was just
this crazy decision
that was born out
of desperation.
Desperation? You?
Yeah.
Is that so hard to believe?
Yes, actually it is.
Why?
I don't know if you've
noticed, but, I mean...
Olivia, I turn into a nervous
wreck when I'm around you.
I mean, look,
you have so much going on
for yourself, obviously.
[CHUCKLES]
Well, your definition of obvious
escapes most everyone else.
Well, maybe if you went out
with people who appreciated you,
that wouldn't be a problem.
Plus, I wasn't really interested
in sex or any of that stuff.
Every legitimate experiment
has a conclusion,
and so it follows logically,
this experiment may not
be entirely legitimate.
However, a gray zone
isn't always a terrible place
in which to be.
[POP MUSIC PLAYS]