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The Rowdy Girls (2000)
[guitar playing]
(SINGING) Get comfortable now, people, and a story I will tell about a group of women who were rowdier than hell. Out there in the rugged west where men are dumb as dirt, trying just to stay alive and keep from getting hurt. Rowdy girls. Sit tight and watch the story of the rowdy girls. While preparations were making for his departure, the Roman ladies take a step, which was a perfect novelty in the Republic. About 20 years before when Hannibal was ravaging Italy and when the treasury was very low, a tribune of people named Opius had got a law passed that no woman should wear above half an ounce of gold in ornaments, or wear purple, or ride in a chariot, either at Rome or within a mile of it, unless she went to assist at public sacrifice. The ladies had conformed themselves to this law in a time of general distress, but they thought it intolerable to the under the restraint of it now when the Republic abounded with riches. And they made a great stir to get it repealed. The consulship of the austere Cato seemed a very improper time for moving this affair, but their passion for finery would brook no delay. They prevailed with Valerius and Fendanias, two of the tribunes, to present their request to the comeechia. And contrary to custom, ran thither themselves. Neither the orders of their husbands, nor the rules of decency, nor public authority could keep them at home. But there is no mischief of which that sex is not capable if you allow them to hold amongst themselves assemblies, private parties, and gossipings. [guitar playing] (SINGING) This yarn spins back to 1886, where we meet a desperate woman tired of turning tricks. She'd do most anything to make a break from that bordello and head out west to find herself a decent fellow. Velvet was raised inside a house where the beds creaked till dawn. But her mama gave her hope and pride that kept her spirit strong. Rowdy girls. The rough and tumble story of the rowdy girls. [knock on door] VELVET: Go away. I'm sending another one up. VELVET: No, you're not. Velvet. Now you know you can't keep doing this. You know you're Monsieur Walkins' favorite. Well, tell Mr. Walkins that I'm under the curse. Now move on. I can't just go down there and-- I said move on! [guitar playing] (SINGING) Now the meanest girl around could put you 6 feet underground or any other man or woman who provokes her will. When Billy Poke led the gang, they all were doomed to hang. But Mick was meaner still, and she always shot to kill. Rowdy girl. Rowdy girls. Oh, Mick, you know what that does to me. Yeah, Billy, I do. [barking] Oh yeah. I am the Brahma bull. [howling] Oh, come on, Mick. You know I hate when you do that. Come on, Billy. You know you need the practice to be a famous outlaw and all. Reflexes. See? Take it. [barking] Why don't you come on over here, Billy. See what a real woman tastes like. Come on. Yes. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. [screaming] [glass shattering] You're one hell of a woman, Mick. You could say that again. Don't forget. I'm Billy Poke. You certainly did. [grumble] [guitar playing] (SINGING) Sarah was arranged to wed a Texan Calahan. But her heart was crying out for the San Francisco Bay. So she begged her beau, Rory, to take her there by hand and left a tear-stained note for dear old dad. SARAH (VOICEOVER): Dear Father, I am sorry to leave without saying goodbye. I cannot marry Mr. Calahan as you have arranged. My intention is to go to San Francisco. I know you don't approve of Rory, but he is a good man. I know he will take care of me. Your dearest daughter, Sarah. Tell me about San Francisco again. Do the ladies really stay out all night there? Don't worry, Sarah. You know I'll send for you. Well, if you love me, you'll take me with you now. If you don't, I'll have to marry some old goat I don't even know. No, I can't. I got business to attend to. Now you know that. I didn't want to go with you anyway. I'll get to San Francisco by myself. [knock on door] Hey. Come on. Hey. It went just like you said it was gonna go. Hand me the keys. I didn't lose them. OK. Did anybody see you? Hell no. And it was a hell of a lot easier than storming in there in broad daylight. -Let me see the money. It's all there. We're rich. You done good, Cole. Oh, I'm telling you, honey. It was so easy. I slipped the keys in, and the safe opened right up just like you said it would. No guards, no nothing. Velvet, I love you. Take off your clothes. Honey. You almost as smart as me. Now you know how excited bank robbing gets me. I want to teach you something new. All right now. You catch your breath. Tell me everything that happened, OK? I went inside. Mm-hmm. There was nobody there. Yeah? Shut the door. Place was all dark. Keep talking, honey. I crawled on my belly to the back. I put the two keys in the safe. That's a little tight. VELVET: Sorry. Safe opened right up. There was the money, just sitting there, waiting for me to take it. Are you sure you closed the safe? Yeah, yeah. I locked it. And nobody saw you on the street? No. Are you sure? Yeah. I done told you. Tell me you're my girl. Tell me. I ain't your girl, Cole. I ain't nobody's girl. I told you that. [muffled shouting] You know why I ain't your girl, Cole? 'Cause you're stupid. Maybe someday, I'll be somebody's girl. I don't know who. Sure ain't gonna be you. Had so many men, I can't remember them all. But I gotta tell you, out of all of them, damn, you're the worst. [muffled shouting] Now settle down, Cole. I'm taking all my money, do you hear me? I love you, Velvet. Damn, Cole. Now see, this is what I'm talking about. That's so stupid. How many times do I have to tell you to think ahead? But I love you, Velvet. And you hurt me real bad. No. I don't have time for this. Now Sweetwater is a friendly and fairly quiet old town. Though some of the husbands around here wish that Joe Pepper would tame that friendliness down. The Pepper Brothers, Joe and Sam, well, they're Sweetwater law. But Sam's doing all the work while Joe fools around back there behind the stalls. That's just boredom talking though. Someday, he'll learn to fight against hate. Hopefully, for Sam's sake, it doesn't happen too late. MRS. WHEELER: Oh yeah. Mrs. Wheeler. Joe. Sam. No, no, no. No, Sam, this isn't what it looks like. Uh-uh. Look, I-- I was just helping Mrs. Wheeler find her-- SAM: Don't explain to me, little brother. Tell Mr. Wheeler when he gets here in about five minutes. Five minutes? Oh my god. Joe. Sam. I swear, Joe, you're gonna get one of us killed if you don't learn how to keep them britches up. You've seen enough. Damn it, Billy. You almost poked my eye out. Mick, am I right? It's the perfect spot to take it. Mick, we're wasting our time with this Sweetwater stage. It's too far out for payroll. Exactly. You know they're switching stages. Yeah, but not this one. We do what I say. Huh? (SARCASTICALLY) Good plan. You poking fun at me? I wouldn't do that. You're Billy Poke. The boys will be here in the morning. Maybe I should do some scouting or fix that wheel. Never be another woman like you. I know. Ugh, I'm bored. Well, Romeo, in my opinion, that's a good thing for you to be. You got no call to to start in on me. You see that it stays that way. See, I ain't covering for you no more. Next time for you, it's wedding bells. Rangers haven't caught Billy Poke yet? Nope. Reward's gone up to $1,000, dead or alive. Damn, what did he do this time? He robbed a stage in Abilene. Killed everyone, even the women. Abilene. We aren't too far from Abilene. Hey, isn't Jack Calahan's new bride coming in on the next stage? You reckon I ride out there in the morning and give them an escort? Sweetwater stage has no payroll, and I don't want you anywhere near Jake's new bride. I hear she's a real lady this time. The Sweetwater stage is right over there, Sister. Where are you headed? San Francisco. Sarah. Don't lie to the good sister. Amanda, I suggest you mind your place. CHESTER: Ho! The team needs a rest. I'll step on down, help you out. All right, step on down. We'll be spending the night here. Don't wander off too far. Watch out for rattles. There's more than one kind of snake around here. I got it. Right this way, Sister. I feel like I know you already, Mr. Beaudine. Henry. Call me Henry. Henry. You see, what I really want is to go to San Francisco. Well now, Henry seems to be a decent enough feller, trying to make a break. But there's something hidden behind those pinstripes, and that's a greedy old snake. Velvet, she's got a lot to lose with her money bag in sight. And Henry tells Sarah, snatch that bag this very night. Henry. Henry. Where are you? I've got the bag. Henry? Oh. I knew that whore was hiding something, huh? She's a nun. Oh yeah, that's like saying I'm really gonna take you with me. Where's the horse? You said-- Oh. You are not going. Neither are you, cowboy. Let her go. Get off her. Now turn around. Back up. That's my money. Give it here. Come on. It's my money. Oh, whoa, hey. Oh, I can't believe you're so stupid. Stupid. He's dead. Oh my god. I-- I killed him. Are you just gonna stand there or are you gonna help me? Sister, I can't. Fine. Then you'll go to jail for trying to steal the church's money. Get over here. Come on, push. SARAH: I am pushing. Push harder. Come on, missy. Get your hands dirty. Why'd you take my money? Well, I needed it to go to San Francisco. What'd you need him for? I couldn't go alone. You didn't get very far with the bag, did you? Couldn't go without it. And besides, I thought it was the church's money. I am the church. Where's my mama's watch? I don't know. Ow! Did you let him take my watch? No. Nuns aren't supposed to hit people. This one does. Joe. Joe. Hm? Changed my mind. You're riding out with me this afternoon to meet the stage. All right. I'll be back in about an hour. Get up and get something to eat. JOE: Yeah, yeah. Did you hear what happened? Did you know the Lord doesn't appreciate those who partake in idle gossip? This is hardly idle gossip, Sister. Mr. Beaudine ran off last night and took one of our horses with him. I knew that man had no character from the moment I laid eyes on him. You should pay more attention to my guidance, Sarah. Damn. Mrs. Wheeler. Come out, come out, wherever you are. Nuh-uh-uh. Mr. Wheeler will be here any minute. I am Mr. Wheeler. Come on, little Susie. Daddy wants some sugar. Well, my, Mr. Wheeler, you sure do look young today. Woo! You are so strong. So sweet. I don't believe you're Mr. Wheeler at all. You don't? No. You are an imposter, and I'm gonna punish you. Oh, I'm a bad boy. Yeah, you're a bad boy. I just love our afternoons together. [bell] Oh my god. Oh my god. I gotta go. What? What? Mrs. Wheeler. Oh my god. Sam's gonna kill me. Damn his brother. Sam, sorry I'm-- Sam? Damn. Hey, Chester. Sam. Morning, Chester. Morning, Sheriff. That's a nice looking egg. Yep. Morning, ladies. Which one of you is Sarah Foster? I am. Nice to meet you, miss. I'm here to escort you to town. Did Mr. Calahan send you? Yes, ma'am. Here we go. Easy picking, guys. Just a bunch of women. Hey. Give me that. It's our lucky day. Let's go get them. We ain't taking no women. JD, Liam. I think we need some new whores. Hey, Billy. Don't let this carrona kill everybody this time. There's a rider up ahead. Ho! OK, OK, OK. Help me. She's been hurt. Stay where you are, and I promise you won't get hurt. [gunshots] Oh my god, they shot the driver. Oh my god. Be quiet. Damn it, Mick. I told you not to do that again. I promised him. You promised him? Somebody's gotta have some balls around here. Just do whatever they sayand keep your mouth shut. I told you this route wouldn't pay off. It's not even a stage. It's a damn wagon. You need me to do what you can't. Come on out of there. Put your hands where I can see them. JD, get out there and check and see if there's a strong box. Come on. Come on. Liam. Yeah, beau. Looks like we got a little something extra for our trouble. You keep your hands off her, you filthy beast. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Behave yourself, you won't get hurt, all right? [gunshot] [screaming] Liam. Damn. There must be $20,000 in here. Hello, Sister. What'd you do? Rob a bank? Shut up. I wasn't gonna kill her, Billy. We were just fooling around. You know how much you mean to me. I told you. Never be another woman like you. I know. MINSTREL (SINGING): Mick is getting more than she ever bargained for. Billy Poke has his eye on sweet and sassy Sarah. All the rowdy girls-- one, two, three-- now they're together. Sarah rides a horse up front, but the nun is being dragged on a tether. Make them stop. Whoa. Don't worry. They ain't gonna hurt her. Virgin like her is worth too much, even if she is a little long in the tooth. She ain't gonna be worth much if they keep doing that. Please, let her ride. Liam. Cut that out and put her up on a horse. Where are we headed to? You like tequila? Sam. Put this on, you little tramp. Tell me you want only me. Tell me. You want only me. Smart ass. Should've killed him. He says he's gonna keep me for himself. Ha. What is your rich rancher gonna say about that? He also says a virgin like you is worth a lot of money in the whorehouses down here, even if you are long in the tooth. Oh, he did, did he? Did he say what happens to smart ass virgins like you when he's finished with them? I know why you became a nun. I could tell him. Well, go ahead then. Tell him what you think you know. Look. I need your help. Sorry. Can't do it. I helped you. Well, the Lord helps those who help themselves, darling. I don't care if you help me or not. I'm going to get to San Francisco. [whistle] Mount up. Wanna make camp before tonight. Almost home, Mick. Give me that beautiful moon, Billy. You better quit staring at him. I hate him. Look, it doesn't have to be him. You better choose. Or he's gonna choose you. How can you say that? What do you think they're gonna do after they finish drinking? Go to sleep? What about you? You don't know anything about men. No! Let me go. Let me go. Help me. No. No! Leave me alone! Take that, stupid whore. He's not man enough for me. None of you are. Hold her on the ground. SARAH: Get your hands off of me. Leave me alone. Get away. No! No! No! Why does she have to be a nun? SARAH: No! No! Hold her legs. Look at me. I can handle you. Do it, Billy. Don't listen to her. I can see you. Do it, Billy. You're not like her. I'll deal with her, man. You can have her. No! You're not like them. Get her, JD. You're not like them. No! You're not like them. You're not like them! Damn. Well, help me up. Come on, let's go. Wait. Wait. We can't just leave her there. Look, I'll come back for here. You know what, young man? I'm sure someday, you're gonna make a very good sheriff, but today, I'm not leaving here without my-- my sister. Look, we can talk about my youth and vitality at a later date. But right now-- I don't have time for this. You're so pretty. You won't let them touch me again? No. I like you, Billy. I like you too. I wanna go to San Francisco. [moaning] [giggling] SARAH: That was nice. Get back here. It isn't always like this, is it? Billy, you're so strong. What's that? Billy, what's-- what's happening? You know what? That was a dirty trick you pulled. You sure are different for a nun. I mean, not that I've had any dealings with a sister of the cloth, mind you. Well, I haven't had any dealings with a sheriff who doesn't shave yet. Hey, smooth as a baby's bottom. Oh, and might I add that it's this fresh young face right here that saved a woman of your advanced years last night, Sister? What are you doing out here alone anyway? 'Cause the sheriff that was killed was my brother. Oh. Well, what if Billy and his men follow us? It's just you and me, Sister. I guess it could be worse. So where's the nearest town? I need to get some fresh clothes and a fresh horse. Then I'm gonna get my-- my sister, and get out of this god forsaken land. Which one of them killed my brother? The one with the keys. Well? You gonna leave or what? No, ma'am. Sister or not, you're one fine looking woman. You wouldn't be safe in here alone. Don't worry, Sister. I'm a gentleman through and through. You could rest your mind at ease. I won't look. This is the only inhabited town between here and Sweetwater. We sit tight, Billy's bound to show up with your sister. VELVET: Yeah, then what? I come up with a plan. I can see you, Mr. Pepper. [speaking spanish] She's all yours. Sister, wake up. Sister. We didn't have to wait too long. Billy and his men just rode in. Get that funny little man from the bath house over here pronto. Pedro. My lady here wants a bath. Anything she wants, I aim to give. Your sister's with him. It's kind of strange though. She was riding right next to Billy, and Billy's woman was riding behind him, tied up. I'll be damned. I want some whiskey. It's too quiet in here. You. Que pasa? BILLY: Something wrong with your fingers? [playing guitar] I love this place. What the hell is she doing? Playing with fire as usual. [bark] Cincuenta. I'm gonna go check it out. You stay here. I'll be right back. Hey. Peachfuzz, be careful. [speaking spanish] Mm-mm. [speaking spanish] You've been a naughty girl, Sarah. How did you get here? We looked for you everywhere. Yeah, I'll bet you did. I know your mama's colored. Where's my watch? Billy has it. He's helping me get to San Francisco. You know, I know you're just a silly little girl, but you're playing dangerous games. Now I wish I had the time to teach you the virtues of fending for yourself, but I don't. Well, I'm keeping the money. No, you're not. You mind if I sit in? Ain't you a little young? I just turned 50 today. Billy. I think I see some whiskers here. Get the hell outta here, JD. Look, I told you not to tear this place up anymore. Liam, get him outta here. What'd you say your name was again? Joe. Joe Pepper. What's your bet, Mr. Joe Pepper? MINSTREL (SINGING): Now Velvet's gonna take a chance. She's ready to take flight. While back inside, Joe and Billy gamble into the night. Soon, sweet Sarah will awake, her money lost and gone. I can't believe it. Sister?Sister? MINSTREL (SINGING): Now the stage is set for the final act. The curtains rise at dawn. Call. Straight. Kings full. [glass breaking] [speaking spanish] I like you, Joe Pepper. Hey, Jose. JOSE: Si, senor. Get one of your ladies for my friend Joe here. JOSE: Maria. I think I'm gonna quit while I'm ahead. How the hell did we get out here? My head hurts. I'm good. I think that nun whipped our asses. You wanna tell me where she is, Joe Pepper? I thought she was here. Well, she ain't. Empty your pockets. Fixing to rob me, Joe? Your pockets. Empty them. Pepper. That the name of the sheriff over in Sweetwater? Bet you're hunting for some keys, huh, Joe? Were you the one? Nope. Not like them, Joe Pepper. I still gotta take you in. Where's the girl and the money? The senorita took one of the horses from the barn. She rode out over an hour ago alone. We'll find her easy. Let's go. Yeah, there it is. Come on. I'm thirsty too. Hello, princess. Howdy, Sister. Shouldn't have run off like that. Leaving your sister behind. And now I find you freshening up out here in the broad daylight. She ain't my sister. Yeah. Well, you see, I figured that one out on my own. Wow. You're a pretty smart boy. You never answered my question. You came all the way out here to get the answer to a question? Yes, ma'am. As soon as I get it, I'm gonna make sure that you and your money get back to Sweetwater and the church. It was the woman. Isn't it always the woman? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa. Let's go. You all right, ma'am? My name's-- my name's Viola. Just call me Viola. What the hell do you think you're doing? Shh. Comancheros. They been running horses up the canyon all day. Well, what aconvenient spot for it. Now, now, Viola. Don't get your habit all in a twist. How did you know my name? You told me right before you passed out. Is that why you became a nun? You little bastard. No. I knew my daddy, right and simple. How about you, Viola? I didn't have to help you. Oh my god, Sister. I am sorry. I mean-- I mean, Viola. Find them? Yeah, they're about a mile up the creek. They have the girl with them? Yep. Oh, she don't look too good though. Oh. Who are you? Does it matter? No. I don't reckon it does. What kind of name is Viola? Well, my mama said it was the name of a tall, beautiful flower. I guess you're not a nun. I guess you're not a boy. I guess not. You like me already, don't you? You've got some nerve. Hell, you might even love me. You know what I'm gonna do to you? Comancheros. Know what those are? Savages. They're gonna like a sweet piece of meat like you. Too bad you ain't a virgin no more. They might've been nicer to you. But seeing as you're damaged goods and all. They might just want to mark you first. [speaking spanish] I might stick around long enough to hear you scream. Then I'm gonna get that son of a bitch Billy. Comprende? Comprende? [thud] Why didn't you kill them? I'm not like them, remember? Besides, this whole area's crawling with Comancheros. So be quiet. There you go. Get your money and head to San Francisco. They can't have my money, Joe. Why is it so important to you? It's the only thing standing between me and what I was. No, Viola, it's not. Not anymore. They'll be waiting for us across the river. You ready? [gunshots] Sound like it came from Silverton. It's an abandoned mining town just over those hills. I'm riding ahead. No matter what happens, you stay put. Excuse me, Mr. It's Just You and Me, Sister. I got some unfinished business to take care of. Well, I got some unfinished business of my own. Fine. Have it your way. -Fine. I will. [footsteps] Well, if it ain't Joe. You're not so tough now, are you? You're just a kid. That's right. The kid that knocked you on your ass. I don't have any liquor in me now. Let's see how tough you really are. Where's the money? I'll tell you what, tough guy. If you're a faster draw than me, then I'll tell you where the money is. Do you want to play with the kid or what? Don't think I'm stupid, 'cause I'm not. Now you tell me where the money is. Now. It's right behind you. Trying to trick me. You know, I think I'll just shoot you now. [gunshot] I told you you needed me. [gunshots] Who the hell is shooting at us? Hold it right there. Hello, Sister. Where's my money? Come on, Sarah. You don't want to do this. You know I do. You're gonna get hurt then. I'm going to win. You can't. Why? Because you always do? Well, not this time. Put your gun down, ma'am. You ain't winning today, Sister. Hand over the money. What keeps not too daily Mick. Now how about that money? Who is he? Joe. Joe Pepper. I know you. You're that deputy from Sweetwater. The one everybody talks about. I remember that story. You almost got your brother killed 'cause your pants were down. Hell, you ain't nothing but a boy. Your brother was beautiful when I killed him. [gunshots] You chicken shit! You can't do it. That's why you needed me, Billy. [gunshots] Billy, get the money. Well, Sarah. Looks like it's time for you to start fending for yourself. You got a choice to make. What's it gonna be? [guitar playing] (SINGING) And now the sun is setting on the story of the rowdy girls, with lives as tough or tougher than in the man's world. And in this land of freedom, still great dangers lurk. But if you stand tall and you're quick on the draw, a woman can still make it work. And you'll ride out west for freedom like the rowdy girls. Well, Viola, where to now? Would you quit calling me that? San Francisco it is. And who says you're going? I heard San Francisco is so full of sinners that a man of my extreme youthful exuberance and a woman of your advanced age and expertise can live together in sin. And it will be viewed as a wholesome occurrence. Hey, Sister. Wait. Hell, Viola and Joe are the next pillars of San Francisco society. I thought you had a stagecoach to catch. I have something for you. Your mama's watch. I knew you would. Thank you. Where's the rest of my money? What money? See you in San Francisco. I know you like me. Not a chance. Well, you coming or what? MINSTREL (SINGING): And so ends the story of the rowdy girls. Yahoo! [music playing] |
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