|
The Scout (1994)
[Guitar And Fiddle Play Folksy Tune]
With my personal trainer, from Tampa Bay, Florida, Tony Little, [Applause] Hey, Tony, welcome, Thank you for being here, Let me ask you a question, 95% of people gain their weight back, Is it ever going to end? We're going to educate them, Let me show you something, what I call "fitness past," What's all this? [Grrr] The original! Ha! I can't believe it. Ohh... Thanks. This is a sign. He's always been king of his world, We'll teach him fear, "We're millionaires, boys. I'll share it with all of you." He was a king and a god in the world he knew, But now he comes to civilization, merely a captive, a show to gratify your curiosity, "Ladies and gentlemen..." look at... "Kong, the eighth wonder of the world." [Fanfare] There he is. If only he could pitch. Good one now. Come on! Heads up! Put it in there. Strike! Hello, fellas. Well, well, the pride of the Yankees. They fly you down in their private jet? In fact, they offered. Yeah. I heard you were in big trouble. Where'd you hear that? The kid you found, McGowan? He's zero for 60? 0 for 61. You didn't see last night's game. Who cares about last night's game? Let me tell you how it works. The world's a jungle. You walk into the jungle, come out with Kong, you're a hero. They forget about last night's game. Who's Kong? Catcher, Iowa State. No, the animal! In the movies. Forget it. Strike! Whew! The kid can pitch. He's gonna finish college, too. What's he now, junior? Freshman. Freshman? 3 1 /2 years, can't touch him. Can't even talk to his parents. They're devout Catholics. Well, I learned one thing, no use salivating over a player you're never gonna get, right, Phil? Right. If my bosses call, tell 'em I already showed up. By the way, I'm leaving now. You can make fun of me. Yeah, don't worry. We will. Tommy! How are you? Good. I'm Al Percolo... scout with the New York Yankees. Wow. The Yankees? I didn't know you guys were coming. Here we are. Listen, you're really good. Thanks. You're gonna finish school though, huh? It's not my idea. I'd kill to play for the Yankees, but that's what my parents want. I thought you wanted to finish. No, but what am I gonna do? Let me talk to your parents. Want to come have dinner? Tonight? I wasn't really invited. I'm inviting you. I accept. Mmm. These carrots are so sweet, you could eat them for dessert. Thank you. You know, the Yankees are very geared to religion. I couldn't help noticing that beautiful painting up there. That's virtually the same exact picture that hangs in the clubhouse. Terrific likeness, isn't it? You've heard of Mickey Mantle? Did you know his sister was a nun? I hadn't heard that. Yes, indeed, a very famous one. What was her name? Gee, I believe it was also Micki, but with an "I." Sister Micki Elizabeth Mantle. Some nun. Tommy, you haven't touched your food. I'm not hungry. It's no excuse. Finish your food. He reminds me of me. Couldn't get me to finish my food if you paid me. Now try to keep me away. May I say something? Yeah. I believe education is most important and that people should finish school. I know Tommy does, too. But Tommy has a dilemma, and that is that... he's gifted. And he's really concerned. What does he do with that gift? Does he sign on the dotted line right now, make $500,000, go to the biggest city in the world, and become a member of the most prestigious baseball team that ever was, or does he continue his schooling, possibly trip over a book on the way to math class and be worth nothing? But he knows that with the kind of money you make in baseball, even if you didn't finish school, your education doesn't have to stop. Tommy knows that many of the ballplayers hire tutors. Did you know that? Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, Lou Gehrig... they all had tutors with them in the dugout. Lou Gehrig... had a tutor? Oh, yes, ma'am. Yeah. Didn't he also have a terrible disease? He did, but he didn't get it from the tutor. I think he got that in college. So you can see Tommy's dilemma. Do I take God's gift and go play for the greatest baseball team that ever lived, or do I stay in a small school and hope I don't trip? Is this what you were thinking, Tommy? That's exactly...right. I can have a tutor, Mom, right in the dugout. Please, Mom, let me play. Please? Please? Please? And in his major league debut... Tommy Lacy. What a great afternoon for Yankee baseball, I'm Bobby Mercer, along with John Sturly, the radio voice of the Yankees, John has seen Tommy Lacy pitch, I sure have, a year ago, We gave up Reynolds for Lacy? Sure hope it's the right thing to do. Wait till you see him pitch. You'd give up two Reynolds to get him. By the way, how come he's not with the team? I wouldn't worry about it. [Vomiting] [Toilet Flushes] You feeling better, Tommy? No. Come on, son. You got to take the mound. It's game time. No, I can't. Tell them I can't. What do you mean you can't? There's 30,000 people sitting out there just waiting to see you pitch. Tell them I can't. I can't do it. I ain't telling them nothing. You tell them. Aagg. What? Get him out of there. Well, crawl underneath. I don't care what you do. Just get him out of there. Al. Al! Your kid's locked himself in the crapper. What? Lacy's locked in the crapper. He won't come out. Here we go, The Yankees take the field, Kid, you're supposed to be on the field! Listen, I made a mistake, O.K.? O.K. I need the Lord. What's going on? I want the Lord. He don't want to play, Al. Let me talk to him. Tommy, Al Percolo. How are ya? Mr. Percolo, I made a mistake. I got to go home. You can't go home, Tommy. People are waiting. Everyone wants to see you pitch. Come on. I can't pitch for a crowd this size. I can't do it. You've pitched in front of full stadiums at home. What's the difference? It wasn't Yankee Stadium. It's-- I don't want to be here. I'll give the money back. I don't want it back, you son of a bitch. Sorry, Tommy. I'm on the line here. I gave up a draft choice to get you. Just compose yourself, get out there, and play a good game. No, I can't do it. I want the Lord. I need the Lord. Shh, shh, shh. Let me tell you something. Listen. The Lord wants you to play baseball. Yes, he does. He wants me to finish school. No, he doesn't. God's not interested in people finishing school. He doesn't care about the graduation ceremonies. That's why they're in the afternoon. They'd be at night if it was important. So, go out there and play ball. This is what God wants you to do. I don't know much, but I know this. God wants you to pitch. I think I made a mistake. God says people can make mistakes. God never said people make mistakes. Where did you hear that shit? God said nothing like that. He said honor thy father, thy mother, and thy Yankee contract. I'm coming under. There's some delay. Apparently, Tommy Lacy is still in the locker room. I know what he's doing. He's looking at himself in the mirror in that Yankee uniform and can't get over it. It's a stunning sight, first time you put that on. Something seems to happen. Come on. No, no! Please! Now, listen to me. Use your change-up sparingly, understand? You're going to be fine. No! Aah! [Organ Plays Charge] [Mexican Hat Dance Plays] What's the trouble? No trouble. He's out there, isn't he? Lacy's first warmup pitch was very wild, way over Jackson's head. [Woman] Get it over the plate, dummy! Another wild pitch, Lacy cannot find his control. What is this? Is this a joke, these warmups? They're warmups. That's what they're for. To see how far away he can throw it from the men? You're getting closer. Looking for a pitching coach? Lacy has stopped his warmups. Now he's looking as if to-- Oh, my goodness! Uh-oh. That's a little embarrassing. Tommy must've eaten some bad food before coming out because he has regurgitated all over the mound. And here comes the cleaning crew. Well, we've just seen a baseball first. Tommy Lacy taking himself out of the game. Listen, it happens to fighters, it happens to runners. You eat that bad turkey, this is what happens to you. No, no, no. Don't stop him. Just let him go. I don't care. Just let him go. Just a case of butterflies. I've seen it a thousand times. He's gonna be fine. Right now, he's running down the road with his clothes over his back. You wanna run after him and tell him he's gonna be fine? He's running where? I don't know, Al. Somewhere towards the turnpike. I want to see you in my office in five minutes. Tommy Lacy's very expensive, very brief big league debut, Vapadelapa, Nochitos, Escondrio... Playa Del Muerte. Huegos... I never heard of any of these places. They're a little off the beaten track, Al. You're the first scout we've ever sent this deep into Mexico. But is there baseball there? Oh, I'm sure there is. Maybe not in the form we know it, but I'm gonna expect a daily report from each of these towns. Come on. You know I'm not gonna find anybody there. It's a waste of time. Is this a grudge trip? Yes, it is, Al. Well, why don't you just fire me? I thought of that. I like this better. If you're trying to banish me, at least pick a place where somebody plays baseball. What about Alaska or Canada? If I had my choice, it'd be a leper colony. I think it's illegal. This will have to do. Adios. Hasta la vista, You be safe, Al. Beep beep Ahh Beep beep Ahh Beep beep ~ Ahh, beep beep ~ ~ Ahh ~ ~ Beep beep ~ ~ Ahh, beep beep ~ ~ Ahh ~ ~ Beep beep ~ ~ Ahh, beep beep ~ Vapadelapa. Vapadelapa. Right here. ~ Bang bang ~ ~ Money, money ~ ~ Cornbread ~ ~ Margarine ~ ~ Cornbread ~ ~ Gootchie, gootchie, gootchie ~~ No, no. No, no, no, no, no. It's a foot? Is that a foot? Huh? No, no. Where I come from that's a felony. No, thank you. [Speaking Spanish] Where are the umpires? Any umpires out there? You just want to share that, don't you? You finish it. I'll use the napkin. Senor Ramirez, telefono, Senor Ramirez, Where's the pitcher going? Telephone call. Telephone call? How do you like that? No, no, no, no. No. Safe! It's pouring. They're not gonna stop? Too much rain-o. You know, the rain's pouring...down. They should stop. No stop. Stop-po rain. Uh, alto, Alto 'cause of the rain. No, senor, they wait for the rain. Better slide. [Coughing] [Horn Honks] Whoa! [Beep] No! Whoaa! What is this, a kennel? How are ya? My God, this is really a dump. Here. [Electronic Translator] Quiero un habitacion con bano? I speak enough where we don't have to do that. You're kidding? You know, I didn't mean dump in the traditional sense. Name? Percolo. I have a reservation. P-E-R-C-O-L-O. Si, Percolo. You got a credit card? Oh, yeah. What brings you here? Are you visiting? No, no, no. I'm here to see a baseball game. I'm a scout. Oh, you must be here to see Steve Nebraska. Who? Steve Nebraska. That's not why you're here? I don't know who that is. You don't know who that is? That's the greatest ballplayer that ever lived. That's who he is. And this is the Four Seasons. You're in for a treat. Really? Well, I hope so. You got a porter that could help me with the bags? No. You want the job? Ron, I can barely hear you. I don't even know if you can hear me. As usual, I have nothing new to report. Uh, hold on, Al. I want more details than that. More details? All right. Yesterday I saw a game played by five men, two women, a child, and a goat at third base. Really? Was the goat any good? Very funny, Ron. I got to go. I got a game to see. Enjoy the game. Uh, my regards to the goat. [Band Plays] [Gong Sounds] [Band Plays The Star-Spangled Banner] [Band Forgets Music] Play ball! [Band Plays Charge] - Nebraska! - Nebraska! Strike! Strike! Strike 3! This is unreal! Jesus! Strike 3! Nebraska! Nebraska! Nebraska! Nebraska! Nebraska! Nebraska! Don't tell me he can hit, too. I found him. I found him! I found him! I found Kong! I found Kong! Oh, my God Almighty! [Singing In Spanish] They just don't leave you alone around here. They love you. Mmm, I love this salad. Do you like it? Yeah. Want one? No. I ate at the game. Rat dog, huh? What? [Laughing] That's a joke, right? I'm just kidding. They got good stuff there. I'm sorry. I can't believe it. You're from the Yankees? That is so cool. Well, they're certainly a legendary team. Yeah. Yeah. I couldn't imagine playing for the Yankees. I mean, that's just too much. The Yankees would be lucky to have you. Are you kidding? I don't know. I don't think the competition down here's so great. Maybe I'm just playing good because I'm not playing against anybody. You don't have any competition. I have never seen anybody pitch like that in my whole life. You ever had it clocked? Gotta be over 100 miles an hour. Think so? And where did you learn to hit like that? I just get the bat off my shoulder and... God, I am so lucky no other scouts have ever seen you play. A while ago, this guy from Chicago came down, but he got sick... and he died. Really? Mm-hmm. Thank you, Lord! [Speaking Spanish] You again. "Steve Ne-bra-ska." Gracias, De nada, You're like a god around here. I guess they like me. I'd say that. Want to know a secret? Yeah, sure. I have never paid for a taco here once...ever. That's a secret? It's safe with me. So how did you wind up in Mexico? You got family down here? No. Where are they? Who? Your family. Where are they? Oh, them. They're, um... they're, um... they're in the... I don't really know where they are. They're just kind of, um... Steve. Hmm? Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Thpppt! [Laughing] So you're all alone here? Well, you're here now. Well, yes, I am. And thank God for that. So, what do you think, Nebraska? Want to be a New York Yankee? Would I make some money? Would you make some money? You'll be one of the richest men in the world. You're King Kong. You've got it all. New York's gonna go crazy for you. I've never been to New York. I don't know anybody there. Where would I live? You live anywhere you choose. You can stay with me if you want to. No problem, Steve. O.K. Let's do it. That's it! Uh-huh. Hey, hey! Oh, man! This is the greatest! All right. I'll go to the hotel, make a call, get the ball rolling tonight. A few quick questions, standard stuff. O.K. You don't throw up... or run away or anything? Como? Huh? What? What do you mean? I mean, you don't get extra nervous... Steve, Yankee Stadium is different from what you've ever played in. It's a lot of people. It's not like here. Now, that doesn't bother you? No. People, that's O.K. I can play in front of a million people. I don't see the people, just the plate, the glove, the throw. You are beautiful! And that's it. No problems, right? Nothing else bothers you? Yeah, one thing bothers me. All these questions you're asking. I don't like questions. I don't like to answer questions. Steve, no more questions, just statements. We're going to New York! It's gonna be great! Ron, I'm on a different phone. Don't yell. It has nothing to do with the phone. I like yelling. I have found the most astounding ballplayer that ever lived. I've never seen anything like it. He can hit, pitch. It's extraordinary. I stake my reputation on it. Your reputation? Now that's a laugh. Whatever. Wait'll you see him. You'll change your mind. You're not bringing anybody back with you. Oh, yes, I am. You can't stop me. Oh, yeah? Watch this. You're fired. You're firing me? Yeah. So I am no longer affiliated with the Yankees? You got that one right. Then he's a free agent. I can do whatever I want with him. Marry him if you want to. This is an important moment of my life. We need someone to document it. A Mexican attorney just happened to come in. Would you come here, sir? I'm talking to the Yankee general manager. He has just fired me, which means he has no rights to Steve Nebraska. Steve Nebraska can go to the highest bidder. Do you understand? Si, There. Documented by an attorney, you fat bastard! Sir, your party has hung up. Huh? Where'd he go? I don't know, sir. Did he hear the fat bastard part? [Singing Take Me Out To The Ball Game In Spanish] Adios, Bye. Bye! Ha ha! Goodbye. Goodbye! ~ Do you know the way to San Jose? ~ ~ I've been away so long ~ ~ I may go wrong and lose my way ~ ~ Do you know the way... ~~ You're singing a little too loud. I'm singing too loudly? And talking too loudly. And talking too loudly? Could you turn that thing down? [Shouting] Know why that happens? It's because you got the earphones in your ears, and then you can't hear yourself speak. ~ In a week or 2 they make you a star ~~ [Humming] What was that? I think it's her phone number. You didn't even look. How do you know? I'm pretty sure it's her phone number. Just out of curiosity, let's look at it. I'm curious. [Humming] ~ Away from home ~~ That must happen to you a lot, huh? I have a whole box of them. Celina. Gloria. ~ Ba-ba-ba-ba ~~ That's terrific news, Cliff. And who's Peter O'Malley sending? Al? Al? Al! I got to go. I'll call you tonight. Steve! Al! Steve. Have I got great news for you. Don't do that again. I thought you'd left. Leave you? I wouldn't count on it. Listen, things are heating up. Representatives from every major league team are coming here tomorrow to watch us play. But I thought I was going to be a Yankee. You still could be a Yankee. You could be a Yankee, a Brave, whoever likes us the best. You're still going to get to pitch at Yankee Stadium. I got the place for two hours. I don't have a lot of strings, but I pulled them all. ~ I love New York~ ~The buildings are very tall ~ ~ I love New York~ ~The people probably look real small from up there ~ ~ I love New York~ ~ I love New York~ ~ Look at all the lights and all the people ~ ~ And there's a man wearing a dress in New York~ ~We love New York~ ~ It's my new home ~ ~ I love New York~~ Right here. Here. Here. Take whatever.... Hey, good luck. Thanks. Listen, I got a beautiful sister. Here's her number. Give her a call. Thanks. Come on, Al. Look who's back. Ah, Mr. Percolo, welcome back. Hi, Danny. How you doing? Danny, Steve Nebraska, maybe the greatest ballplayer that ever lived. Steve's staying with me for a while, so be nice. That's wonderful. You're a ballplayer, huh? Who do you play for? We don't know yet, but whoever it is, Al says we're gonna be rich. Ha ha. Come on. Rich! Come on. It's not a good idea to say you're gonna be rich. It always works out badly. Well... Iet's go back down there and tell him that we're not gonna be rich. It's too late now. People always believe the first thing they hear. [Saxophonist Practices Scales] Home sweet home. Wow. Would you look at this place? It's huge. It's got a view and everything. It's of another building, but I guess it's a view. Nobody broke in. I feel rich already. Take the bedroom. I'll sleep out here. I'm all right here. I don't want you screwing up your back. Take the bedroom. O.K. Look at the size of this bed! Don't jump on that! That's not gonna hold! I'm sorry. Where's that box of phone numbers I had on the airplane? I can't believe that people are gonna be getting laid in this apartment, and I'm not one of them. [Snoring] Go away. [Mumbling] Put it down. I hate you! I can't stop! Aah! Good morning. I want to thank you all for coming here on such short notice. But, boy, have we got a beautiful day for this. Jesus Christ, he's going to make speeches now. Now in my opinion, you're about to see the best ballplayer I've ever seen, but you be the judge. No more talk. Time to see him. Ladies and gentlemen... Steve Nebraska, right here. Come out now! Where is he? Where is he, Al? There we go, Steve Nebraska! Come on out. Check the turnpike, Al. - Ha ha ha! - Ha ha ha! I'm sure. Where is he? Steve! There he is. Just getting his shoes on. Steve Nebraska! Take a few warmups, and let me know when you're ready. I don't need to warm up. Are you sure? He's all warmed up. I guess that's what he was doing. O.K., now, a pitcher of Steve's quality has got to have somebody to pitch to. Can you believe who's going to help us out here? One of the greats-- Keith Hernandez! Keith! Thanks a lot for coming. Right up there. O.K., here we go! Where's my money? I don't have it on me. I don't do this unless I'm paid up-front. I'll give you the money, O.K.? O.K. Steve, fire when ready. Excuse me... I, um, I don't know what those signals mean. Then why are you shaking your head no? Uh, I don't know. You're supposed to shake no, right? Hey, just throw what you want to throw. O.K., all right. Ooh! Holy mackerel! I've never seen anything like this. How much do you want to go on this kid? Whatever it takes. You got it. Man, did you see that? Strike 3. He's out. Keith, step out a minute, will you, please? Larry, did you clock him? It's broken. It says 6 then 7 then 9. It had to be faster than that. That's 109. Oh, no, it can't be. This thing doesn't go over 100. See the asterisk? That means you've reached 100, then you've got your number-- 109. God damn. If all Steve did was pitch, that would be pretty good, but he likes to hit, too. I wanted to give him the best competition, so to help us out... Bret Saberhagen. Bret, thanks a lot. I appreciate it. I haven't been paid yet. What is it with you guys? It's in the mail. Keith said I'm supposed to get paid first. He's just a mistrustful fellow. That was the agreement. $9 million, he needs my money. Whoa! O.K. if I switch? Do whatever you want. Well, there you have it. Where'd this guy come from? The bidding's going to go differently than you're used to. All sealed bids will be delivered to me within one hour. How come you're accepting the bids? Who authorized you? Steve did. Remember when you let me go? He hired me. Yeah, that's fair. Yankee letterhead. Look at Steinbrenner. Pokerfaced. Ladies and gentlemen... thank you for waiting. We're ready to announce now the winning bid. We want to thank you all very much. Uh... I've never done this before. I'm a scout, not a speaker. I'm a little nervous at this. I want to thank all of the clubs. All of the bids were very, very respectable, but like a baseball game, somebody has to win, and somebody did. With a bid of $55 million over the next four years, Steve Nebraska is very proud to be a New York Yankee! Thank you for coming, and we'll see you on the field. $55 million after one tryout? How can you justify that? I have to go with my gut instinct. After what I saw today, he's worth every penny of it. So he's pitching right away? He's pitching as soon as we get him in uniform. That's not the way the deal was structured. It isn't? Uh, Mr. Wilson may not be informed, but the teams were in agreement that no matter who got Steve, because we're far into this season, Steve doesn't want to take any blame or credit, so he would get a fresh start next year as a Yankee. Well, just a minute. What are you saying? We can't play him this year? Stop taking my picture. You got 32 already. Mr. Wilson is asking what would happen if the New York Yankees would get into the World Series? - Ha ha ha! - Ha ha ha! Why are they laughing, Al? I'm going to make a deal right now. If the Yankees get in the World Series, Steve Nebraska pitches the first game. All right? Does that mean I pitch the first game? It can never happen. Don't worry. How many years did you play in Mexico? Steve, where do you live? Um, I don't know. Al, Al, Al, Al! Al, Al, Al, Al! All right, all right. Folks, it's been a very long morning. He's tired. Just give him a break. No more pictures. Put him down! Put him down! Now, gentlemen-- All right. I just want to reiterate on behalf of George Steinbrenner... O.K., it's official. [Applause] Congratulations, Steve. Al, I want to talk to you for a minute. Be right back, kiddo. Al, we're going to need a little something from you. Your lawyer didn't tell you about the letter? What are you talking about? What letter? Before we pay him, we'll need a letter from a psychiatrist saying that he's all right. You already paid him the money. He just signed the contract. That was ceremonial. Your lawyer knows this. This is the most amount of money anybody has ever been paid. Mr. Steinbrenner wants assurances that Steve won't flake out like your other picks. I find this insulting. This is ridiculous. Did you see him pick up that photographer? So what? I told him to. Then I told him to put him down, which he did. I find this very insulting. I'll have the letter tomorrow. We can set you up with a doctor if you like. My sister was in the field. As long as they're qualified. Well, of course they'll be qualified. I'm not an idiot. "Physicians... physicians... plastic surgery... anesthetic... dietary... psychiatry... affiliated... Dr. H. Aaron!" Oh, boy! Hammering Hank, yes, indeed. Hey, Steve. Save a little of that appetite for lunch. Hello? Dr. H. Aaron, please. This is she. You're kidding. I'd like to come see you right now. Is that a possibility? Who am I speaking to? I'm Al Percolo, and I'm with the New York Yankees. Would you like an appointment? I'd like one now. If you're still at that address in the Yellow Pages, I could scoot over now. Is this an emergency? Well... yes, yes. Yes, it is. I'll see you in 45 minutes. O.K., we'll waste a little... Well, we'll see you in 45 minutes. Fantastic. I did it. 10 minutes with this broad, we got the letter. You know, last night you were really having quite a little nightmare. No, I wasn't. You weren't? Maybe it was me. Yep. Cranham Center. This is it. What's she going to do, Al? It's like a physical, only mental. [Sniffling] Was that the doctor? Gee, I hope not. Good morning. I'm Dr. Aaron. Mr. Percolo? I'm Mr. Percolo. Uh, could I talk to you for a minute? Of course. I'll be right back. [Sniffs] I appreciate you seeing us on such short notice. Before we start, may I ask you a question? Sure. You licensed? Am I licensed? Yes, I am licensed. Would it be rude to... to see a diploma? Anything you can show me? No one's asked to see my diploma since I began the practice. No. Yes. It's on the wall. Those? Mm-hmm. I'll take a quick look. Harvard? Whoa, whoa! Great. That's the real one? Yes, that's the real one. Well, this is very impressive. Anything with a picture on it? Is this a joke? Is this a joke? I just want to make sure it's you. It's got to be you. You can't put up a diploma if it's not yours. That's a felony, isn't it? Why don't you tell me what's going on? The kid sitting out there, Steve Nebraska, is probably the best baseball player that ever lived. He has just signed a deal with the New York Yankees that's gonna make him almost $60 million. When you pay that kind of money, you want to be assured that everything's gonna be O.K. They just need a couple of sentences on a letterhead that they believe that says he's not gonna shoot anybody or run away or throw up on the mound. Tell me again what this letter should say? Address it to George Steinbrenner. You just want to say... who you are in a sentence or two. Say that you went to Harvard... is the right thing to say. And then say Steve's not nuts, not gonna run away. Good deal there. Congratulations. Then you'll sign your name. If you want to include a xerox of the diploma, that would be helpful. And you could put, "P.S. Sorry about Billy Martin." Billy Martin? Just a guy he kept firing till he finally died. Why don't I talk to Steve, and then we can talk after that? You don't want to do the letter first? I don't think so. These smell so good. Yes, it's nice. What are you doing? What are you doing? It's a physical. What physical? Al said that-- I told him it was like a physical. Put your pants on. We're done. Maybe it would be better, Mr. Percolo, if I spoke to Steve alone. All right. Um... I'll be right out here. I would prefer if Al stayed here in the room with me. Well, I'd really rather talk to you alone. I know, but I would feel much more comfortable. It's his first time, and he's just a little nervous, so I'll sit here. You won't even know I'm in the room. I'll disappear. All right. All right. Please sit down, Steve. Ahem. So, Steve, where are you from? I found him in Mexico. I was asking Steve. I answered? Yeah. So you're from Mexico? Uh, no, I'm not from Mexico. I was just down there for a couple of years. And why Mexico? Because it's, um... where I went. Mm-hmm. You don't remember what brought you down there? Uh-uh. Well... uh, not, not... Baseball brought you down there, didn't it? Baseball brought me down there. You really like baseball, hmm? Yes, ma'am, it's my favorite thing in the whole world. When did you start playing? Steve, is there something wrong? I just, uh... I don't like all these questions. Do you sometimes feel that there are things that you try to remember and can't? Yeah. No. I guess so. I don't know. You know what I'd like to try? I'd like to show you some pictures. I want you to give me your immediate response. Just look at the picture, and without even thinking, just tell me what it means to you. It's kind of like a word-association game. Just look at the picture and tell me whatever comes to your mind. O.K. Who's that? These aren't actual people. Now what does this look like to you? That guy's faking it. You can tell 'cause the doctors don't look concerned at all. He's just pretending to be in a coma. He knows if he opens his eyes, he's going to see his bill. He stays in a coma so he doesn't have to pay his bill. What a great idea. Mr. Percolo, if you keep speaking, I'm going to have to ask you to step outside. Sorry. You know, the medical costs being what they are-- The next picture, Steve. These guys are in trouble. They look like they're in trouble? Not yet, but when that driver gets angry, and he's going to, they're all going to start screaming and crying. It's just-- It's going to be a mess. This one? She sneezed. Anything else? Um... she sneezed by the door. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. That's Batman. Batman? Batman. Sometimes he goes without his cape. O.K. And this is the last one. [Coughs] Fishing. Fishing-- two guys fishing. Very good. Anything else? [Sighs] O.K., let's see. They're...two guys fishing for trout. Very good. Yeah? Yeah? Very good. You did very well. I did? Yes, absolutely. Hey. Ha ha ha. If you could step outside while I talk to Mr. Percolo, then we'll be through. O.K. All right, I'll... [Door Opens And Closes] He's got some imagination, doesn't he? Boy, that coma story. I never would have thought that was Batman. He's something. I'm not going to talk in complicated medical terms because it wouldn't do much good anyway. Appreciate that. He's disconnected in some way. It's very interesting, but his response to this picture, the father and the son, he didn't recognize as father and son. Almost 98% of the people shown that picture immediately make that association. Hmm. Let me see it for a second, may I? I don't think that's father and son necessarily. Doesn't that guy look like a fishing teacher to you? Whatever. Um, in any case, his responses to the other pictures, they were pretty much showing confused emotions. It's obvious Steve's not in touch with a part of himself. That's one reason why he's such a good ballplayer. He's thinking of nothing but hitting the ball. And pitching the ball. You should see. Strike after strike, like a machine. It's just-- It's great. Well, O.K., interesting stuff. Now, do I wait for the letter or do you want to fax this over? Well, Mr. Percolo, I feel I can't give him a letter that says he should play, because I don't think he should. You got to give him the letter. We--We need the letter. Let me try and explain something toyou. Um, ahem, let's just suppose that Steve has blocked something, and then let's imagine he suddenly remembers it. If he should do that, he could become very violent, to himself and to other people. He should be in therapy. He shouldn't be playing athletics. He's not playing athletics. In grammar school, you play athletics. He's playing professional baseball. Besides, violence is a plus. You ever see those fellas? They're huge. The best ballplayers never had any memory. Remember Whitey Ford, great pitcher? Know why they called him Whitey? He couldn't remember his real name. No memory. I could go on-- I really can't do it. I'm sorry. Ma'am, listen, I'm not saying you're wrong, O.K.? Maybe he's got some problems. But what are you doing? He's one of the greatest ballplayers I've ever seen, and I've seen them all. I'll work with you. I'll bring him seven days a week. I'll bring him twice a day if you need it. But don't deny him something that he loves. Without baseball, then--then he's got nothing. And then he'll be, well, he'll be the guy you say he is. He'll just be poor, too. You would bring him every day? Every single day. That'll be an important part of his life, his working with you. The letter's just insurance. I don't think he'll play this year anyway. They won't get in the series. Really, he's yours till April. He'll have lots of therapy before getting on a field. We just want him on the roster. That's why we need the letter. You got to do it. Please. If you promise you'll bring him every day, I'll write a letter saying he can play. You give me a letter, I'll give one back. You say he can play, I'll say he'll be here. I don't need a letter. This worked out great. When I saw your name in the Yellow Pages, I said, "This woman's special." I'll call in the morning, we'll set up the schedule. I'll come by early for the letter. That's fantastic. Oh, wait a second. Wait a second. I think you should know it's likely Steve will look to you as a father figure. You know what? It's already started to happen. I'm trying to fill those shoes. I'll do my best. I understand, but this a father Steve might want to put a bullet through. How's he feel about his uncles? - You know that by looking at those pictures? - No. All right, thanks for the warning. Uncle Al's got good news for you. Ha. You did great. You think so? She loves you, wants to see you every day. I don't know if I want to see her every day. It's a good place to let out your problems. I don't know her. She's a doctor. Once you pay her, you know her. ~You gotta have ~ ~ Heart ~ ~ All you really need is heart ~ ~ If you don't have heart ~ ~Then you don't get dinner ~ ~You gotta have heart ~ ~ Ba da da dee ~~ That's a great movie. It's about baseball. Damn Yankees, Damn Yankees, Al! Talk to us! Stop ducking us! Hey, would you go away, please? We're trying to eat dinner. Where's Steve? He's with me. Now, good night. People want to know things. How about a press conference? We're not doing a press conference like Romeo and Juliet, We'll do it at another time. What are you doing? Throwing plates. You can't do that. M-M-M-Move! Aah! M-M-M-Move! No! No! No! No! You can't do that! Are you nuts? I didn't mean that. Don't throw plates. Please! No! No! No! No! No! I've got a crazy landlady. She's here throwing things. She'll kill ya! More plates! Oh, no, we're going to get sued. They're gone. You got a knife anywhere? A what? - I need a sharp knife. - Why? To cut things with. Oh. Cut what up? I like to cut my food with a knife. We're having spaghetti. You don't need a knife. I don't have one in the house. I'm all out-- I got some there. That's the woman's upstairs. It's not right for us to use them. She's got emphysema. So it's a bad idea. Al, give me a knife. What happened there? I don't have a knife. I can't find one. Oh, you know what? Use that. That'll do for you. This is a butter knife. Yeah. A nice one, too. An ivory handle. Well, I'm not having butter. You can change your mind. You want butter, you got the right knife. Go back and sing. Great. Good. I got to tell you, I don't understand it... I can't see a damn thing. Don't use the binoculars in the house. You'll hurt your eyes. For the amount of people who've seen Steve Nebraska play... they're talking about you. $55 million dollars, What about the rumor he's under a doctor's care? Turn that down. How'd they find that out? ...If Steve Nebraska turned out to be Jimmy Piersall? Who's Jimmy Piersall? Don't worry, you're not him. What did they say? Hands down, the fastest pitcher they've ever seen, and the best hitter, Mmm, what are you doing? They're talking about me. We're going to have to do a press conference. Al, why? Come on, you said I wouldn't have to pitch. Well, you're going to pitch eventually, aren't you? If we don't talk to the press, they'll keep coming. They'll make everything up, like the doctor. But all that's true. That's true. But it'll just get worse and worse. Next thing you'll know, you'll be a defector. They'll have you killing somebody. That would be cool. What does that mean? What does what mean? Well, that it's not cool to, uh... No, you don't mean that. With the money they're paying you, you can't throw a ball and go home to sleep. You got to talk to the press. Maybe it's not worth it. Not worth it? It works out to a million dollars a question. There's going to be a million questions, and I don't know all the answers. I don't want to look foolish. I'll never let that happen. We'll go over stuff, just like the president. He wakes up a fool. They help him. We'll go over stuff. We'll fill in the blanks. We'll give you a life you can be proud of. - Shh! - Shh! Uh, ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry for the delay. You all set? Hmm? Yeah. Uh, in your version, did I go to college? Yes. We decided that. A very good one. Listen to me. If they bring up the therapy at all, tell them that, uh, tell them it's not you, it's me. If they bring up the therapy, tell them that you're taking me to the doctor. What's wrong with you? Nothing. What do you mean? I was just giving you an answer. If they bring up the therapy, it's not you. I'm going. I'll need another note card. Just forget it. Forget it. ...this press conference will lay that to rest. Now, uh--Oh, O.K., I want to give you all a crack at the new pride of the Yankees-- Steve Nebraska. Are you in therapy? Why're you in therapy, Steve? Ohh! Time out! Let's all ask questions one at a time. Then we'll move this along, and I can answer your questions. Are you currently in therapy? Uh, nope. You've been seen coming in and out of a doctor's office. That's because I'm taking my friend to that office. Who, Steve? Al Percolo. Your manager? Yeah, that's right. What's wrong with him? Uh...nothing. I'm not a doctor. Ha ha ha ha. Where were you born? I was born in the Mideast. In the Mideast? Midwest. West--Midwest! Ha. I spent time in the Mideast. How much time? I spent... six years in the Mideast, Wait, hang on minute. Are your parents American? So far as I know, How'd you get to the Mideast? On an airplane, I'll call you back. That's Steve Nebraska for you, Very odd past, Spent time in the Middle East, hiked around Switzerland for years, father went to Harvard, It goes on and on, I got to tell you something. You did great. You know how hard it is to make guys laugh at a press conference? What if they find out some of that stuff I said isn't true? How will they find out? They're reporters. The Yankees keep going like they're going... we'll see this kid soon, The Yankees could be in the World Series, Oh, please. All New Yorkers are crossing their fingers, We hope Steve Nebraska's the Yankees' gain and Cairo's loss, And I'm hungry, too. How could you be hungry? You ate 30 minutes ago. Well, let's eat again. No, let's not eat again. I got two words of advice for you-- Fernando Valenzuela. He started out a pitcher, wound up a truck. Hello? Mr. Percolo, it's, uh, Dr. Aaron. I just saw Steve on television. Fantastic, wasn't he? I need to see you in my office right away. Meet me there in half an hour. No, that'll be tough. We're going out. Steinbrenner's gal got us tickets for Tony Bennett. Could this wait? It's important. No, it can't wait. One half hour, please. All right, we'll be there. I just need to see you. Why's that? Hello? Dr. Aaron! Hi. Mr. Percolo, I can't be connected with this anymore. That's all. What brought this on? Middle East? America's Cup? A Rhodes Scholar? Where's all that from? He was worried he'd forget stuff. We went over a few things. This man is trying to reconnect his life. Don't make up stuff. I was just trying to help. I think you two should find another doctor. I'm sorry, I cannot help you. You're the only doctor-- Oh, please. Don't take the letter back. All right! I don't want you around him anymore. Let him come to therapy by himself. Oh, new rules. You were the one who said, "Stay with him 24 hours a day, he might be dangerous." I changed my mind. You might be dangerous. I'll accept that. But you won't take the letter back, right? Oh, you know... I don't want to hear anything more about the letter. Goodbye. Good night. And now, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Mr. Tony Bennett! ~ I mean I want to be around ~ ~To see how he does it ~ ~When he breaks your heart ~ ~To bits ~ ~ Let's see if that puzzle fits ~ ~ So fine ~ Wow. ~That's when I'll discover ~ ~That revenge is sweet ~ ~ As I sit there applaudin' ~ ~ From a front row seat ~ ~When somebody breaks your heart ~ ~Just like you broke mine ~ ~ Oh ~ ~Yeah ~~ Whoo! Whoo! Whoo whoo! - Good seats, huh? - Huh? You're beautiful. Thank you so much. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a very special guest here tonight I'd love to introduce. I'm a huge fan of the New York Yankees. Yeah, I am, too. How much has he had? A little. They might even get into the World Series. What do you think? Al... Tony knows? And right over here, we have someone who may turn out to be greater than Babe Ruth. One of the great ballplayers of all time-- Mr. Steve Nebraska! You. Al! Stand up. Come on! They love you. Come on, Steve, stand up and take a bow. Steve Nebraska! [Woman] Stand up! Stand up! Yeah, man! Hi. Thank you, Tony. Hi. Hi. They love you. That's Tony Bennett! Yes. Sit down. [Tony] Steve Nebraska. Now... hit it, Ralph. ~ I left ~ ~ My heart ~ Oh, God, no. [Off Key] ~ In San Francisco ~ Steve, that's his! Shh! That's his closer! ~ High on a hill ~ Oh, no. It was your idea. Steve! Come on, everybody! - No, don't do it. - ~To be ~ ~Where little cable cars ~ ~ Climb halfway to the stars ~ Come on! ~Though morning fog ~ ~ May fill the air ~ ~ I don't care ~ ~ My love waits there ~ [Giggling] ~ In San Francisco... ~~ Do you speak English? Thank God. You were great. I'm not kidding. You could sing professionally. You think so? I wouldn't ask Tony Bennett for any help. He wasn't angry, Al. Nah. He loved having his entire act taken. Good night, Jennifer. Thank George for the tickets. Al. Yeah? I'm going to stay with Jennifer for a little while. It's midnight, kid. Think that's a good idea? We're going out for something to eat. Something to eat? You just had dinner. Do you want to gain a hundred pounds? We talked about this. I'll put in my mouth what I want to. Fine... but we're getting up early in the morning to practice. I think you should get a good night's sleep. It's O.K., Steve. We can do something another time. Just-- Just a minute. I'll be right back. Listen, you got to stop telling me what to do, O.K.? I'm gonna eat and sleep when I want to, and I'm gonna practice when I want to! 'Cause I'm the Yankee! Not you! You got that? Hi. Sorry, the laundry room is in use now. Here. What is that? That's a chocolate baseball bat. I got it for you. Did you drop it? I--I got a little hungry. Well, I appreciate it. I'll treasure it always. I'm sorry I yelled at you. I've been going through a lot of stuff with the doctor, and it's bringing up a lot of stuff, and I'm thinking about... um, the... I'm, uh, uh, ahem! I gotta work it out. O.K. I appreciate the gift. Thank you. So did you have a good time? Yeah. Did you go eat again? Just the bat. Don't leave that in the sun. O.K. So, uh... what'd you guys do? Went back to her place. Oh. Did you, um... Well, sorry, that's none of my business. Did I nail her? Well, now that you brought it up... did you? No, I didn't. If you're gonna do that... with anybody... you know to use protection, don't you? Oh, no. Now am I going to get a lecture on this? I'm not lecturing. I'm telling you. It's a dangerous world out there. This is New York, not Mexico. I didn't do anything. I'm just saying "if," that's all. O.K. "If." [Bell Rings] Al. Hmm? You should separate those. You can't mix the white ones and dark ones. The dye from the dark ones gets in the white ones. You're an expert on laundry? Well, actually, I know a lot about laundry. I like doing laundry. I find it very relaxing. Go figure. Go get some sleep. We're going to practice at 8:30 a.m. Sharp. Um... Al, did you lie to me? What are you talking about? Well... you said that I wouldn't have to pitch this year. I didn't say that. I said you wouldn't have to pitch if the Yankees didn't win the pennant. It's a shoe-in. Doorman said so. The doorman? The doorman is a man with an animal's brain. Just get some sleep, O.K.? I'm still not ready to pitch, Al. Why do you think we need to practice? Who's gonna catch me? Al Percolo. You're gonna catch me? I'm too fast for you. I'll hurt you. Just rest your little head and let me worry about this. I've taken your speed into consideration. Come on, pitcher, pitcher, pitcher! Fire it in, pitcher, pitcher, pitcher! Al, I don't want to pitch right now. O.K.? Come on. I'm fine. I don't need to practice. It's me. Let's go get some eggs. No eggs! We're here to pitch. Now, come on. You felt like it earlier. Well, I don't feel like it now! You know, I do have moods! It's too smoggy in here. He's smellin' the fumes. Charlie, shh! I brought you to watch. O.K. Just tellin' you, it's fumey. I don't want to do this right now. Later. I'm getting a headache. It's the fumes. Charlie, quiet, or I'll ask you to wait in the car. Now, look. I don't care whether you feel like it or not. What if you're on the mound, and you don't feel like it? You going to run and get eggs? Now pitch. Right now. Please. All right! I'll pitch. Shit! All right, come on. Look, will you put your glove up? Want me to knock your arm off at the elbow? No, no, no, no. O.K., fire it in! Yeah, right. [Car Alarm Goes Off] Boy, is he wild. I don't want to do this anymore. It isn't fun. If you want me, I'll be at Dr. Aaron's. It's all coming down to this-- one pitch, Playoff games do not get any more exciting, Tigers with the bases loaded, Davis on third, Fielder on second, Fryman at first, Mickey Tettleton at bat, Yankees one pitch away from a World Series, Abbott into the windup, the pitch... he struck him out! The Yankees win the pennant! The Yankees win the pennant! And Steve Nebraska will pitch in the World Series, The crowd is going crazy, Just listen! Look what I made. So the doorman was nuts, huh? It was a one-in-a-million chance. I never thought it would have happened. Yeah, you're right. Hey, whose favorite late-night snack? I'm not hungry right now, Al. Steve, I-- What would you like me to do? Undo what you did. Get him back into that Kong baseball mode. Put the psychological stuff on hold. We got the greatest ballplayer in the world here, and he's pissed off when you bring it up. Could you see him in his uniform? If he thinks you like it, he'll like it. He really trusts you now. He picks up the fact you're not a big baseball fan. I'm very interested in his work. He ain't picking that up. O.K. Um...Steve is making significant improvement. He is? Significant improvement. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't worry about it. Don't worry. Don't worry about it. Hmm. I never thought of that. Just try not to worry then. Great. Thanks for the medical advice. You know, I probably should write that down because I know I'm going to forget it. I have a patient coming. O.K. Take care now. Sorry to rush you. I do have someone else coming in. See you next time. I appreciate you talking to me. One last question, if you don't mind. Hmm? Do you know now what is wrong with him exactly? Can you tell? Steve has had an abusive father, and he's blocked a lot of painful memories, and we're trying to reconnect his life. Oh. Bye-bye, now. How much longer does that kind of thing take to fix? Just ballpark. Week? More? Welcome, diamond devotees, to the first game of the World Series, Yes, it's the 91st fall classic, The American League champion New York Yankees, the pinstripers, versus the kings of the senior circuit, the red birds of St. Louis, the Cardinals, I'm Bob Costas, My first World Series, at least in the capacity of play-by-play man, For you, Tim, your eighth, Relax, It's a piece of cake, Only 800 million viewers tuning in, [Turns TV Off] Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Yankee Stadium, [Crowd Cheering] Steve! Over here! We made it. Hey, kid, you better hurry. Warmups are about over. He doesn't need to warm up. He doesn't need to warm up? Nah, he doesn't need it. You O.K.? I don't feel so good. You had that big lunch. It's not that, Al. You're nervous. You'd be crazy not to be. I'm not crazy, O.K.? I'm not. I didn't mean it. Just a figure of speech. I'm going to leave you alone. Just relax, get dressed, and remember, when you go out on the mound, you're King Kong. O.K.? Let's get him dressed right away, O.K.? If you need me, I'll be with Mr. Steinbrenner. We've gone through a 162-game marathon regular season... A little for you? No. He's O.K.? Getting dressed as we speak. Hey, Al. Come here. Yes, sir. Here. Have a glass. That's 6 bucks. With what I'm paying this kid, I got to get it back anyway I can. 6 bucks. That's a joke, right? You're the only one laughing. Let's go, Nebraska. Hi. Can I please speak with Dr. Harriet Aaron? Can you get her? O.K., um, I'd like to leave a message. Steve Nebraska. Yeah, it's me. Um, can you tell her please if she calls in that I'm at Yankee Stadium? And, um-- Come on. We're being introduced. Get dressed. O.K. She can get me over the loudspeaker system. I got to go pitch the first game of the World Series now. So I'm going to go. If Nebraska pitches the perfect game many are predicting, we won't go much more than two hours, If you figured that out and paid the scalper's price, it would come out to 750 bucks per ticket per hour, Listen, I wouldn't eat those right before the game. His $52 million deal has been broken down to about $10,000 an hour, O.K. I'll take care of these. Why don't you take the field? And pitching for the New York Yankees, Steve Nebraska, And now to sing our national anthem... Mr. Tony Bennett, You going to sing this one for me, too? Now here's Tony Bennett stopping and saying something to Steve Nebraska. Everybody wants to talk to Steve Nebraska. All right, finally. Here we go. We're set. Our national anthem. ~ Oh, say, can you see ~ ~ By the dawn's ~ Where are you going, man? What are you doing? I'm just going to go over there. ~What so proudly we hailed ~ ~ At the twilight's last gleaming? ~ Where are you going, kid? ~Whose broad stripes and bright stars ~ ~Through the perilous fight ~ Hey, I'm surprised to see you down here. Game time, huh? Ain't you supposed to be on the field now? They're singing the anthem. Thought I'd get some fresh air. You got to play now, man. You got some fresh air out there. I thought maybe I'd get some other kind of air. Um, I'll be back in a little while. [Knocks Over Bats] I'm going to go for a walk. ~ Oh, say, does that star-spangled ~ ~ Banner yet wave ~ ~ O'er the land of the free ~ ~ And the home of the brave ~~ Boy, what a rendition, huh? Does that ever set the stage for drama, We're back with the first pitch of the World Series right after this, Why did Nebraska leave? I have no idea. I didn't even see him leave. Al, telephone. I didn't give out the number. Hello. Hello, Mr. Percolo. This is Ben. Uh, who? Yeah, Ben. You know. I work in the clubhouse. Hi, Ben. How are you? What? Your friend Steve, he left. No, he didn't. No, he's here. He can't. That's not happening. Nah. No, no. I'm on a phone here that's not really something I should be using. Call me at home tonight. I'll work it out. I'll get a pen. I don't have that number. Absolutely, and say hello to the missus then. Bye. I'll be back. Problems? None. Excuse me. There's some kind of stall here, We're actually about four minutes behind the scheduled time for the first pitch, Is Steve here? Why would he be here? He's got to be here. Sorry. Said he went out for air. I don't even know what that means. Let me borrow the binoculars. Quickly. Oh, my God. I took this Kong thing too far. What? All right, guys, Hold it down, Just one at a time, He's up on the roof? What is he doing? Whose idea was it to put Steve Nebraska up on the roof? The roof? Was it your idea? I don't think the stadium crowd's yet aware of this dramatic-- Where are you going? To see Steve Nebraska. He's on the roof. What's going on? It's like a fancy entrance. He's coming to the mound from the roof. What will they do, send a helicopter? Yes. That's exactly what they're doing. Get the chopper ready, will you? I don't know anything about a chopper. Call Steinbrenner. He'll take care of it. Sure. Send it up. It's a brilliant idea. It's the way it ought to be. They're going to bring Steve down to the mound in my helicopter from the roof. You can't do that. It's show biz. God, I love it. Steve. Hey, Al. What are you doing, Steve? Uh, I just, um... I was, uh... I needed a little fresh air. I was feeling claustrophobic. You were feeling claustrophobic out on the field? This is what George Steinbrenner brings to the Yankees, a real sense of excitement, Can you believe this? What an entrance, You got to hand it to the guy, Most teams bring their pitchers in those silly golf carts, but not George Steinbrenner, There's his chopper swinging in over right field right now, Bob, How about that? They're giving me credit for it. Yeah. I wonder whose idea it really was. Well, it's mine now, stupid. I don't feel like playing tonight, Al. Maybe some other time. Some other time? I see. When would that time be? Easter? Would that be better for you? How about Christmas Eve? Seems Al Percolo, the scout who discovered Steve Nebraska, is up there with him giving him some last-minute words of wisdom, Yeah, and Al Percolo has reportedly been under a psychiatrist's care, Unfortunate, but we hope and pray he's O.K. What do you think they're talking about? It's hard to tell, Robert. Probably strategy, game plan. I don't care what you feel like! What have I been telling you? You're a professional! You play whether you feel like it or not! You're not some high school kid! You're a Yankee! Now get down there and stop being a baby! Don't you call me a baby! You have no idea what's going on inside my head! I don't care what-- I don't care what's going on inside your head! I don't care about that! If you don't stop yelling at me, I'm going to throw you off this fucking roof! Throw me off the roof! I mean it! I want you to! If I go down the stairs, they put me in jail! If you throw me off, I'd get a ride in an ambulance! I broke my ass for you. I discovered you! I got you the deal! I found you the doctor! I feed you! You stay with me! This is how you're going to repay me? Forget it. What? Forget it. I never thought I'd say this. Screw the World Series. If you don't want to pitch, don't pitch. You won't get mad at me? No, I won't be mad at you. Don't worry about me now. I'm sorry I yelled. This is your life. You do want you want to do. I'm nothing in this. I'm just a stupid scout that was lucky enough to see you play. You're the one that counts. Not me. No. Al, you're like a dad to me. But I'm not your dad. I'm just a guy taking 15% I thought it was 10. No. 10 the first 6 months, then we bumped-- Well, what difference does it make? You're not going to play anyway. Come on. Let's get out of here. Still be my friend? Yeah, I'll be your friend. I'm sure we'll be closer since nobody will want to talk to either of us. I really appreciate this, Al. I do. Who's going to pitch if I don't? Oh, let's not worry about the lineup now. The only lineup we should be concerned about is the police lineup. If I pitched, what's the worst that could happen? You'd lose. I'd lose. I'd lose. Well, that's not so bad 'cause half the guys down there lose every night. Yeah. I wouldn't aim for it, but that's all that would happen. Well, maybe I should try. Yeah. I want to do it. Let's pitch. You sure? Yeah. What are you doing later on? I don't have any plans, no. Maybe we could do some laundry. You love that laundry, don't you? I do. I got a deal for you. You go pitch, I'll buy the bleach. You don't get it, do you? You don't need bleach. People spend money on stuff they really don't need. You get a lemon, cut it in half, get a little salt-- Go play ball. We can talk bleach for hours later. What are you doing? King Kong wouldn't take the stairs. Your chariot awaits you. Go get 'em. The Yankee copter's pilot has dropped a rope ladder down, Too dangerous to land on the stadium roof with all that electrical equipment, But, look, it's working, They're lifting off and taking Steve along for the ride, 1,000 feet over the playing field, He's made it to the cabin, The pilot's checking for a safe landing on the field, Steve Nebraska heading down toward the mound. This is it. Game time. Nebraska! Nebraska! Nebraska! Nebraska! Nebraska! Nebraska! Nebraska! Nebraska! Nebraska! Nebraska! Nebraska! Nebraska! All right, baseball fans, Your long wait is just about over, All the anticipation, all the speculation, and now, finally, the moment has arrived, Play ball! Can Steve Nebraska deliver on all that promise? The kid stands astride the mound, ready to deliver his first pitch in the big leagues, He's got the sign he wants, The wind, and the pitch, Whoa! Did you see that? Could you see that? 105 miles an hour, and right down the heart of the plate, Oh, man, is this kid humming? This kid is absolutely for real, Wasting no time, Rocks into his motion, and brings the next one home, Strike 2, This one is clocked at 106, If this keeps up, they'll have to reinvent the radar gun when it comes to young Steve Nebraska, Folks, we are in for some kind of ball game, You're out! Strike 3! You're out! One comes up, one goes down in this game, Steve Nebraska is simply unbelievable, Here he comes, Steve Nebraska's first time at bat, Tewksbury a much different kind of pitcher than Nebraska-- control artist, breaking ball guy, Iikes to mix it up, He looks in, gets the sign he wants, and here's the pitch to Nebraska, Swung on, and a long, high drive, Oh, man, did he powder this one, Has to be 425 feet if it's an inch, And, yes, Steve Nebraska can swing the bat as well as toss the horsehide, And thanks to Nebraska, the Yankees pull ahead 1 to nothing, Steve Nebraska is one man away from becoming the first pitcher in history to accomplish a mind-boggling feat-- 27 up, 27 down, 81 pitches, all of them strikes, And look who's advancing to the plate-- Ozzie Smith himself, 0 for 2 tonight, but five homers in the playoffs in an unexpected outburst of power, What a season he's had, If anybody can break this Nebraska streak, Ozzie Smith could be the guy to do it, Nebraska peers in at the Wizard of Oz, rocks into his motion and delivers--Oh, man! Looks like the kid's prepared to deliver on his promise, Steve Nebraska trying to put the finishing touches on a masterpiece, And his pitch... strike 2! I cannot believe this, This is beyond excitement, I mean, this is over the rainbow, His 81st pitch of the night coming up, Oh, my gosh! Where did that come from? What the hell was that? I think it was a strike. Strike 3! You're out! 112 miles an hour! It's a record in every respect, 81 pitches, 27 up, 27 down, It's a record, And the Yankees win 2-0, Hey! Al! [Imitating King Kong] |
|