1
Why do they always
sound so many trumpets?
I'm not Jehovah.
Why can't a prince
come home without a fuss?
Presumably because
he is a prince, sir.
Other people can sneak in
the back way unannounced,
which is how
it should be.
What are you
smiling at?
Oh, was
I smiling, sir?
Just the sudden warmth
cracking my face.
A prince's lot is
nothing more than a bore.
Your face cracks
rather easily, doesn't it?
Now, you mark
my words,
before you
can count to 10,
through that door,
with the odious punctuality
of our neighbor's
much vaunted,
recently invented, hideously
irritating cuckoo clock,
will come our dear
and loyal subject,
the ever-unctuous
lord high Chamberlain.
5, 6...
7!
He's improving.
One of these days,
he's going to achieve
the elusive
10-minute mile.
Ha ha ha ha!
Your royal highness.
Ah, welcome home.
Welcome home,
your royal highness.
My lord high Chamberlain,
what an unexpected
pleasure.
I am commanded by
his majesty the king,
your father,
and her majesty
the queen, your mother--
yes, yes, now,
don't tire yourself,
I am acquainted
with them.
How are my
doting parents?
Their majesties are naturally
most anxious to hear
such glad tidings
I feel sure you bear
concerning your recent
absence from the court.
Namely, the matter
of your acceptance of
and betrothal to the princess
selina of carolsfeld.
Indeed, in anticipation
of such wonderful news,
his majesty the king
has decided to make you
a knight grand cross
of the most illustrious order
of Saint David the martyr.
Which is usually
awarded posthumously.
A suitable honor,
as it happens,
for the matter of my betrothal
is very status quo.
I did not find the lady of
your choice to be my choice.
Oh, but, sir--
we are returned...
As we departed.
The king I'm sure,
and indeed my dear mama
will share
your noticeable grief.
Indeed, sir,
the whole court will be grieved.
Well, so be it.
Any simple peasant is
afforded the ability
in love...
To win or lose
while I of the nobility
am robbed of the facility
to choose
any serf or servant
can by natural selection
elect himself a mate
if she's amenable
but due to my high breeding,
I'm continually acceding
to demands
I find increasingly
untenable
all I ask, and it's a
simple enough request--
well, follow me,
by all means, follow me.
I wish to know,
I demand to know...
Why can't I be
two people?
Why can't I live
two roles?
Why can't one of me perform
all the cloying amenities ti
while the other me,
twin brother me
be a free and happy soul?/
why can't I be
two people?
Split myself right in half
then I could satisfy
and mollify
and pacify and qualify
while the other me
would have
a hell of
a healthy laugh, ha? '11
the custom of royalty
in referring to oneself
is to naturally employ
the royal "we
"we are very happy" si
y, we are very sad I
we are bored
and suffer from ennui"
for a royal prince,
there's no such word as me"
it's always "we
so, rightfully, I
should be two on three
don't you agree?
It's not for me to say,
your royal highness.
Perhaps not.
So, I ask myself...
Why can't I be
two people?
Why can't I play
two parts?
Why can't one of me endure
the appalling formalities
while the other me,
twin brother me
have a free
and happy heart?
If I could be
two people
life would not
pass me by
I'd have a chance
to pick and choose
I'd have a chance
to win or lose
and maybe one of us
would have a chance to live...
Before we die!
Die? Who's died?
Ah! At last!
Our dear son.
We are... we are...
We're what?
Delighted.
Yes, delighted
to see you return.
Oh!
Ah, yes, I have
something for you.
Father...
Your majesty--
kneel, sir.
Father.
I do not wish" it would
be most inappropriate...
Your majesty, his royal
highness has returned--
of course he's returned! You
get more senile every day.
I have returned,
father--
now you' re
catching it.
Empty-handed.
Kneel, sir.
Father, this is
most emibarrassing.
I command you
to kneel, sir!
I don't deserve it.
I haven't earned it.
Nobody earns this.
It's given because I am
the king and I like it.
Where's my sword?
Ah! It's far
too heavy.
You know, I was born with the
curse of the weak wrists.
Oh, I do so love
a ceremony.
Ah, that's better.
I dub thee--
now, wait a minute.
Shouldn't there be
something before that?
Yes, indeed, sire.
I have it here.
Your majesty--father,
do we--must I--
us, or course,
you must. Ahem!
Let it be known
to all here present
that by our command
his royal highness,
the prince
Edward Charles
"Albert George James
Richard Augustus Philip
has received
our gracious favor.
er... who wrote this?
You did, sire.
Ah, yes, well,
it's magnificent stuff.
Well worth
paying attention to.
From this day henceforth
shall be entitled
"to be known as
a knight grand cross
of the most illustrious order of
Saint David the blessed martyr. "
There's... somebody
in the room!
Very fine. Now I kiss
you on both cheeks.
That's the part
I like best.
I sometimes give medals
to a whole regiment.
Good. Very
touching ceremony.
Most touching, sire.
Sycophant!
Don't always have
to agree, you know.
Congratulations,
dear cousin.
Oh, lord!
Who let him in?
Congratulations !
I heard all the trumpets.
Now, don't you start.
Oh! A little
premature, am I?
I say, have I dropped the
tiniest of social brickettes?
I mean, I was being
quite sincere.
Well, you know, as
sincere as I ever am.
Oh, no!
Who is it? Has there been
an uprising?
No, your majesty. It's
just the Duke of montague.
Is he still alive?
I thought we buried him.
Father, ever since
I entered this room,
I've been trying
to tell you that
what you expected of me
did not take place.
My throw, I think.
No, it's not.
You're cheating again.
Kings never cheat. They
adapt to circumstances,
but they never cheat.
If I may, sir,
by roux leave,
this thing
is choking me.
You see how
I'm placed?
Accused in front of the
court by my own wife.
Father,
this is serious.
Of course,
it' s serious.
I shall probably
concede the game.
It's a royal prerogative
to be unsporting.
Never concede.
I throw.
Black 5 !
The match, father, was of
your making not of mine.
Even so,
as a dutiful son,
I journeyed far
beyond our borders
to pay my respects
to the lady and...
See for myself.
And she was fair,
was she not?
Indeed, sir. Perhaps
pale rather than fair.
A sickly lady, sir,
given to much swooning
and... and vapors.
All ladies swoon. They know
it's expected of them.
Some swoon
more than others, sir,
and swooning to excess is not
a quality I greatly admire.
She refused you? Is that
what you're saying?
No, father,
she could not refuse me
because I did not offer.
You perhaps placed
too much trust
in the portrait painters
of carolsfeld.
The likeness
was no likeness.
Indeed, since you force me
to the discourtesy,
the lady was bald, sir.
Her golden tresses false!
Her mouth crabbed with age, sir,
and devoid of teeth!
In short, sir, she left
much to be desired.
Extraordinary '.
Father,
it's a small thing
and doubtless
very irritating to you
but when I marry,
as needs I must one day,
it will be for the
convenience of love,
rather than the convenience
of... convenience.
Love?
Did he say love?
Ha ha!
How absurd.
What has love got to do
with getting married?
Why should love enter
into it at all?
Love can make you quite emotionally
harried when you're married
it's pedantic
and romantic folderol
find a mate, dear boy,
find a mate
princess Susan
princess Karen
princess Kate
find a mate, dear boy,
find a mate
love will have to wait
I disagree.
You disagree?
How can you
disagree, dear?
Look at me.
Look at us.
Us, ha ha!
Look at us.
What has love got to
do with being married?
Being married is
a problem all its own
love is highly overrated and
makes marriage complicated
when the bed is
elevated to the throne
find a mate, dear boy,
find a mate
pick the proper princess
primied to propagate
find a mate, dear boy,
find a mate
love will have to wait
there is many
an eligible maiden
of good family
with title of her own
who would come to us
bountifully beladen
with an army that could
fortify our throne
Uncle!
I couldn't have said
that better myself.
Well, I could,
and in fact,
I think I will.
What has marriage got to do
with being happy?
Being married can't compare
with being royal
being royal you engender
every luxury and splendor
while a marriage
can get overripe and spoil
'find a mate, dear cousin,
set the date
why procrastinate
uh-uh!
T and stay the hand of fate? 'find a mate, dear cousin,
set the date
happiness
can always wait
get him out of here.
Get him out.
Oh, have I made
a little faux pas?
I was enjoying myself.
There, you see, that's the price
that we shall have to pay
unless you name
the day.
Listen, lend an ear.
I say again...
What has love got to do
with getting married?
What has bread
got to do with wedding cake?
We are bored with your
defiance of connubial alliance
for a line of royal giants
is at stake
find a mate, dear boy,
find a mate
we are growing old
and time is growing late
find a mate, dear boy,
find a mate
it's your duty to the state
not to stay a celibate
find a mate
find a mate.
Find a mate.
Find a mate.
What has love got to do
with getting married?
We are not prepared
to say.
Oh, what a relief
that is over
and done with.
Help me, my darlings. My
fingers are positively numb.
Mama, didn't
you think the vicar was--
Girls,
girls, girls.
Can you never do anything
without squabbling?
Black was never
my color.
So unbecoming.
Especially when one's
so young and pretty.
And where do you think
you are going, child?
To my room,
stepmother.
Your room?
Her room!
All the rooms
in this house are mine now.
Your father,
m'! Late husband,
sadly missed by
us all,
is dead, child.
Dead and buried
beneath the snow
in the same grave
as your dear mother.
That is a double misfortune
for you.
And now you must start
a new life.
Your father, as a token of
his great love for me,
saw fit to make a will
placing you in my care
and protection.
My father
never loved you.
You tricked him.
How dare you, madam!
You tricked him!
Well...
Well if I did,
he did not live
to rue the day, did he?
And now you can curb
your tongue;
cultivate humility,
know your present place.
I hate you.
I hate you all.
Now, listen to me, girl,
and hear me well!
Blood is thicker
than a widows tears,
and God knows I have shed
enough of those.
I have two daughters
of my own to support,
which situation
has forced me
to make certain economies
in the household.
Is that not so, girls?
Yes, mama.
Certain drastic
economies, mama.
Exactly.
But being a woman
of principle,
I shall honor your
father's last wishes
and continue to provide
a roof over your head
below stairs!
And do not think you will
find sympathy with the staff.
The staff
have been dismissed.
You are now the staff.
To take orders
instead of giving them.
Mostly from us.
Never.
Oh, yes.
You will cook
and you will carry.
You will fetch
and you will mend.
Your father's will
allows and the law upholds.
So, take your pick,
either accept
your lot
or go to
the orphanage.
They tell me,
cinderella,
one can be
awfully happy there
and very warm.
They sleep
6 to a bed.
Not counting
the rats.
Do not tease,
my darlings.
It spoils
your looks.
Now, your first task will
be to make us some soup.
Burying a husband
is a cold business.
And sadly for me,
I have now buried two.
Poor mama!
Give me
your cloak, girl.
You will not be needing
it down there.
Hurry, girl, hurry!
And do not keep us
waiting for the soup.
Come along, my doves, we
must rearrange the rooms.
Oh, mama,
may I have cinderella's room?
No, mama,
you promised me first pick.
She always has everything--
my darlings...
Everything will be fairly
divided. Now, come along.
I'm the eldest, and I
should have first choice.
She may be the eldest,
but I'm mama's favorite.
Oh, no, you're not.
Oh, mama,
sun's so beastly!
Little steps,
girls, little steps.
Once I was loved
I knew I was loved
I flew through my days
in fanciful ways
secure and sure
there'd always be
endless love
for me
gone is that love,
my fanciful dove... 'H
has tears in her eyes,
she no longer flies
and yet, my heart
will not despair
for it's there,
just a memory away
once I was loved
so always come what may,
love's happy memory
k ever will be loving ne l
Come on!
Hey! Ha ha!
This place
fascinates me, always has,
ever since I was a child.
It isn't just
thoughts of destiny
or morbid curiosity.
Look here.
When they first
brought me here
it was part of my royal
educatioh, you see.
I was only knee-high
to a tombstone.
They stood me in front of this
and they said,
"that's yours.
That's waiting for you. "
Very cheerful !
Humor was never
the family's strong point.
I wasn't frightened.
I was intrigued.
I see they've even put
your name on in advance.
It's a sobering
thought, isn't it?
No matter what
I do or don't do,
no matter how I do it
or don't do it,
my last appointment
is here.
Good kings, bad kings,
sane kings or mad kings
benevolent or nefarious t
here is where
they bury us
oh, ho, ho, what
a comforting thing to know
there's a prearranged spot
in the family plot
where my royal bones
will go
k yes, tel be
sleeper) 'Q
into the beautiful
family crypt
qi oh, ho, ho, what
a comforting thing to know
that drunkard,
young king ferdinand
he reigned
for half an hour
oh, yes?
He got so soused
when they crowned him
he fell from
the castle tower
and here lies
old king Frederick
he stole
for 4o years
the day he died,
the people cried...
They cried?
They cried,
"three cheers ! "
110e110, he, what
a comforting thing to see
the traditional stone
that is all m'! Own
where my dying date
will be
in peace you'll rest
beneath the beautiful
family crest
110e110, he, what
a comforting thing to see
and here lies
brave king rothar
oh, the battles
that he won
k he hes n state,
serene. And great k
still getting
nothing done I
what about
king Lloyd?
King Lloyd,
king Lloyd.
King Lloyd was lewd
and lecherous
evil, cruel,
and treacherous
king Roy?
Was mad and dreaded
'till the day
he was beheaded
qi oh, ho, ho, what
a comforting thing to know
qi oh, ho, ho, what
a comforting thing to know
but remember
good king phineous
saintly, kind,
and wise '11
he did nothing
ignominious
yet beside these noble
brutes and knaves
and drunks and skunks
he lies
k 0, h0, o k
what a comforting thing
to know
there's a prearranged spot
in the family plot
where your royal bones
will go
yes, I'll be slipped
into the beautiful
family crypt
I ho, ho, he, what a
comforting thing for you to see
oh, ho, ho,
what a comforting thing to
oh, ho, h0, what
a comforting thing to
Oh, ho, ho, what
a comforting thing to know
who was that?
Sir?
The girl. There.
She was hiding
there.
I saw no one, sir.
I could have sworn.
A servant girl.
So, madam, you are
returned at last!
You wicked girl,
how dare you disobey me.
Where have you been?
I only went...
Yes?
To my parents'
grave, stepmother,
to put
some flowers there.
How touching...
With flowers
from my garden,
stolen flowers !
No.
I say yes !
I say you stole them.
You're not only
a liar but a thief,
and thieves we know
must be punished.
Come !
This is your place,
and there
is your task.
We are expecting guests
for dinner tonight...
Important guests.
And for repaying my kindness
with cunning and deceit,
henceforth, you will not dare
to venture from this room
without my saying.
Is that understood?
Yes, stepmother.
Then make a start
and make amends.
John,
tell me something.
Have you ever wished
you were in love?
Oh, yes.
Often? I mean,
as often as I wish it?
Well...
Well, I am in love.
You are? How amazing.
Who is she?
The lady Caroline,
sir, since you ask.
What? The lady-in-waiting
to my grandmother?
That lady Caroline?
Yes.
How amazing!
Wm.
Well, it' s extraordinary.
Not extraordinarily
extraordinary, of course,
but I never guessed.
Heh, heh. I know.
Well, I'm delighted.
You have m'! Blessing.
I - I - I must
congratulate her.
No! No, please, sir.
Don't do that.
It's kind of you, but
it wouldn't be seemly.
How so?
Alas, my cause
is a lost one.
Well, the lady does not
return your affections?
Oh, indeed! But the fact
remains that I am what I am:
A servant!
Positioh, sir.
Position.
John, I'm twice amazed.
I must be very dense.
Am I?
Of course not. You
have your problems;
I have mine.
Where are we?
That's us?
You're sure this map's
been drawn to scale?
I believe so,
your majesty.
Then what have I been
looking at all these years?
I thought that was us.
I always go by
the brown parts for the land
and the blue parts
for the sea.
Who's that?
First lord of
the Navy, sire.
Have we got a Navy?
The royal barge
on the lake?
Oh, yes, yes.
Well, remind me not
to travel in it again.
So, even allowing for
errors in the cartographer's art,
we are small in comparison
with our neighbors.
Though great in, ahh,
what's the word?
Er, tradition?
Traditioh, yes. Great
in tradition and spirit,
in fact, we are small.
Hear, hear.
So we have to have a plan!
Now, you're all aware
of the problems
of my son's reluctance to
have a perfectly good wife
chosen for him.
This generation has
no respect at all.
I mean, I was married off
before I was 14!
Carolsfeld - -where's that?
Ah, you see, the size of it,
see the size of it. Perfect.
Now, what's the solution?
With respect,
your majesty,
I have prepared
a small paper.
What I am seeking
is a proper balance,
weighing
what we sack
against what
we have to offer.
Oh, for goodness sakes, stop talking
in those boring, diplomatic riddles.
Speak the king's
euphranian, man!
Forgive me, your majesty.
I had in mind a celebration.
What are you
going to celebrate?
A marriage, sire.
Getting married again?
Hmm. Finally
got rid of her, eh?
Well, not my marriage, sire.
His royal highness,
the prince Edward's.
Well, we'd all like
to celebrate that.
That's what
we're talking about.
Sometimes I think I'm
surrounded by a lot of idiots.
Here we are, hedged
in by hostile forces,
and all you can think of is
something that's been thought of.
Sire, this time,
I have a new idea,
an idea that the prince himself
will not be able to resist!
Well, make sure
that she's got teeth.
He's got an obsession
about them having teeth.
I thought, a ball!
A ball?
A great ball !
The greatest ball that
has ever been known, sire.
And to it, we will invite every
eligible princess in Europe,
and even beyond,
your majesty.
What do you think
of that idea?
I remember my first ball.
Yes, well, we don't want to go
into the realms oe fantasy.
What else?
I have prepared a list,
your: Majesty,
and I thought we could
make such preparations
as would dazzle
our enemies and dmde them,
for protocol would not
allow them to make war
while they are guests
in our midst.
And I remain convinced
that the prince, your son,
will do his duty.
Indeed, face to face in the
presence of the entire court
he could hardly fail
to do anything else.
The occasion,
the music, the candlelight,
the swirling dresses,
the perfume,
the very atmosphere of love!
Put him on
the retirement list.
I shall make
a royal decision!
Taking this idea
and improving on it,
we must plan every detail.
Noblesse oblige!
Quite so, your majesty.
You understand that
I'm talking about diplomacy.
Protocol!
Yes, we must be
protocoligorically correct
good form must never suffer
from neglect
the rules and
regulations we respect
must be treated circumspect
else the kingdom
will be wrecked
we've a system to protect
checked and double-checked
and protocoligorically
correct
sire! Please, sire.
When its army is
battered and broken
and back to its
borders it crawls
to what clings
a tottering kingdom
if not to its protocols?
And when the treasury's
tapped of its treasures
are the tapestries
stripped from the walls?
No, the court carries on
with its pleasures
inquisitions
and banquets and balls
But they must be
protocoligorically correct
good form must never suffer
from neglect
the rules and regulations
we respect
t must be treated circumspect
else the kingdom
will be wrecked
we've a system to protect
checked and double-checked
and protocoligorically
correct
ho, ho,
well-done, sire.
Precedent!
We need a book that will
give us chapter and verse.
In the library--
it'll be in the library.
I believe we are already within
the library, your majesty.
Well, of course,
of course.
I knew that !
What volume
do you suggest?
There is only one,
your majesty, the Bible.
Bible?! Well, let's keep
religion out of it.
No, sire. I should
say in this case,
the Bible is forms
and addresses
for royal occasions
b'! De Lyon.
Ah.
Now then,
let me see, sire...
Abdications,
dismissal of ministers,
garden parties,
investitures...
Judicial beheadings"
yes, skip all that.
Your majesty, questions
of precedent pertaining
to the seating
of crowned heads
in difficult situations.
Ahh! We should rehearse it!
Uh, you can be
the princess esmerelda,
ever willing to serve,
your majesty.
And you the duchess
of rambouillet,
and you the daughter of
the emperor of bratislava,
and, uh... oh, the rest of you can
sort it out amongst yourselves.
What an inspired idea,
your majesty.
If the daughter of
the duchess of snarden
were to be seated by
the countess of snead
for this breach
of decorum to snarden
the invasion
of snead would proceed qi
and seat the heiress
to the barony of neuburg
by the side of her
hated cousin gwenn
oh, how quickly
the armies of neuburg
would deploy
to destroy us again
So we must be
protocoligorically correct
good form must never suffer
from neglect
the rules and regulations
we respect
t must be treated circumspect
else the kingdom
will be wrecked
we've a system to protect
checked and double-checked
and protocoligorically
correct
so we must be
protocoligorically correct
good form must never suffer
from neglect
the rules and regulations
we respect
t must be treated circumspect
else the kingdom
will be wrecked
we've a system to protect
checked and double-checked
and protocoligorically
correct
protocol
protocol
protocol
protocol
above all
above all
above all
makes a kingdom
rise or fall
so we must be
protocoligorically correct
good form must never suffer
from neglect
the rules and regulations
we respect
t must be treated circumspect
else the kingdom
will be wrecked
we've a system to protect
checked and double-checked
and protocoligorically
correct
protocoligorically correct
well, now!
Were you expecting me?
No. I wasn't
expecting anybody.
Funny. You should
have felt something.
I'm losing my touch.
Could I come in and rest
by your fire, please?
I've been traveling
a long way.
Well... I'm not supposed to
talk to anybody or see anybody,
but...
Yes, of course.
You're welcome
to share my fire...
Such as it is,
but I'd be obliged
if you didn't stay too long.
Please excuse me
if I carry on working,
but I have to finish
these, and I'm very slow.
Yes! Well, there are more ways
than one of peeling potatoes.
The fire seems
to have cheered up.
I could warm you a little
broth if you like.
No, thank you.
But thank you for the thought.
Live down here
on your own, no you?
I do now.
Yes.
Things have changed.
But that doesn't mean to say
they won't change again.
I get around quite a bit,
you know.
Must be nice to travel.
Yes and no.
I sometimes wish
I could settle in one place,
but there's never enough time.
I'd like somewhere cozy,
with a dog to keep me company.
I expect your dog is
a great comfort to you.
My dog?
I haven't got a dog.
Isn't he yours?
Where did he come from?
He came in when I came in.
Oh! Oh, what am I going
to do with him?
Well, why don't
you keep him?
He'll take care
of himself.
He's an old hand at that.
Ohh!
He seems to like you.
Oh, I love him!
I'm just so afraid of what
my stepmother will say.
Cinderella!
There she is,
and I haven't finished!
I've got to hide you.
Well, I'll be off.
I've seen what I want to see.
You just take care of him.
Cinderella!
I know! I'll hide
you under here.
Promise not
to make a sound.
Have you been
struck dumb, girl?
Oh!
Oh!
Answer me when I call.
You know I hate having
to raise m'! Voice.
Now, I hope you have
been hard at work. I...
I see.
Well, uh...
Uh, I see.
I see I shall have to give
you more to do next time.
What do you make of all that?
I will not have
my authority flouted
in this fashion.
It has always been the custom
for the heir to the throne
to take a wife in good time.
And you show a strange reluctance
to comply with tradition.
Father,
I emphatically disagree.
And I totally refuse to take part
in such an embarrassing charade.
But I've decreed it!
Then you must
undecree it.
Impossible !
You talk to him.
Dearest boy--
oh, mother,
it's no use trying
to get round me
that way.
The very idea
of giving a ball
and inviting a selection
of titled wallflowers
to vie for my hand
is utterly repulsive!
Degrading
to all concerned.
In my day,
I never had the choice!
Not that I would have chosen
any differently, of course.
You take a decision
without consulting me.
Well I am your father,
and I am the king!
It's like some
sordid beauty contest
with me
as the grand prize.
Since you won't go to mecca,
mecca must come to you!
You have to get
married someday, dear.
But not in this way.
Well, it seems perfectly
reasonable to me.
We've invited every eligible
princess in the almanac.
And it's a question of duty!
Father, I have never questioned
that it is my bounden duty
to take a wife and ensure
the royal succession.
But that does not mean I have to be
party to and judge a cattle show!
Whoever heard
of such a thing?
Cap-cattle show!
A bride-finding ball si
a bride-finding ball si
where every maiden's
bound to laugh at me
the royal
fatted calf
a bride-finding ball si
a bride-finding ball si
though I'm the one
who does the choosing
I'm the one
who does the losing
it's nauseating,
nauseating!
Can't you
just imagine it?
Hope Springs in all
short, fat, or tall
as they primp
and preen and pray
that this will be
their lucky day
there is no affair
of which I'm aware
more galling to bear
than a bride-finding ball
I just heard the news!
Oh,
who let him in?
Is it true, dear Uncle?
The tattle is that you're going
to invite a whole nursery
of nubile delicacies
to a ball.
Some other time, nephew.
We're busy now.
Oh, but you can't
keep me in suspense.
You just can't, Uncle.
I mean, I realize that
I won't have first pick,
but that doesn't matter to me
because I'm not proud.
I'm just desperate.
We're all desperate!
So it's true, then!
Oh, how exciting!
Now, I must decide
what to wear.
High heels, I think, to
give me added stature.
The moment you've
made your choice,
I shall unleash myself.
I've already made
my choice, cousin.
As far as I'm concerned,
you can have your
pick of the lot.
Oh, but you can't do that!
You can't be such
a spoilsport! I mean...
A bride-finding ball si
a bride-finding ball si
where luscious lovelies
from each land
will vie to win
the royal hand
a bride-finding ball si
a bride-finding ball si
with frills on tresses,
party dresses
every maiden effervesces
giving her best
gving her all
dancing, glancing,
laughing, teasing
whirling, swirling
touching, squeezing
there's no affair
to ever compare
or thrill or enthrall
like a bride-finding ball
Your majesty.
Well, what is it?
I bring grave tidings.
Carolsfeld has mobilized.
There is talk of war.
War?!
War?!
War.
War.
As your majesty's
senior minister of state,
it is my solemn duty to advise you
that the situation is critical.
The news that his royal
highness saw fit to decline
the hand of the
princess selina in marriage,
was ill-received.
True.
True.
Edward, m'! Sou...
I beseech you not as a
father but as your monarch.
Reconsider before
it's too late.
Put aside your
personal feelings.
The whole country looks to
you to form an alliance
through
the marriage bed.
And do as I did when
I took your mother.
I closed my eyes and
thought of euphrania.
Bratislava!
Wildenstein!
Neuburg !
Oh!
Oh!
Aah!
Uhh!
How many
does that make?
Well, your majesty, of the
couriers who returned,
6 have reported
acceptances.
In additioh, there
were 5 refusals.
One of them couched in
the most obscene terms.
Two of those
invited were dead,
and the remaining 3
could not be traced.
That makes 6 out of 16.
Well, I think that's
a fair average, don't you?
Yes, indeed, sire.
Perhaps not quite
the breadth of choice
we at first envisaged.
Well, invite all local
nobility as well.
We don't want
the place half empty.
We can always raise
the taxes to pay for it.
In fact, I'll invent a new tax,
a tax on snobbery.
They'll all pay that.
Brilliant, your majesty!
Brilliant!
Don't over do it.
Don't over do it.
You'll be paying it, too.
Girls! Girls!
Isobella! Palatine!
Right here, mama!
Come quickly!
What is it, mama?
Wonderful news.
We have received a royal
invitation to a ball
in honor of his royal
highness, the prince!
Oh, mama, but--
now, now, now,
careful, careful.
You might tear it,
and I want
to have it framed.
Oh, I think
it's so exciting,
I shall have the vapors!
How shall I have
my hair?
Oh, what shall I wear?
There is work
to be done.
We have not
a moment to lose.
What can we wear?!
We'll have to have
something new.
Yes. I mean, none of my
things are possible.
Let us go and see.
Oh! Can you never do
a job properly, girl?
Look at all that dirty water.
You had better do
the whole staircase again!
Come, girls!
Mama I think palatine
should wear a brown dress.
You spiteful creature!
You should wear green
to match your complexion.
Oh, mama!
But the prestige, your royal
highness, the prestige!
It will put
euphrania on the map.
Uh, pin there, idiot.
Not there, there.
Excuse me,
your royal highness.
Fine, fine, fine.
Enough's enough.
I'm delighted.
You've done very well.
Now leave us, please.
Oh, John!
What have
I let myself in for?
A little more
pomp and circumstance.
And who knows?
Perhaps there will be one to
whom you can give your heart.
Will you dance
with your lady Caroline?
Alas, not done, sir.
Oh, yes, how stupid of me.
I was forgetting.
Not in 20 years!
We're sold out!
My choicest brocades!
Sold out?
What do you mean,
you ridiculous man?
How can you be sold out
when we have not
purchased anything?
The ball, gracious lady.
I'd scarcely opened me doors this
morning when they descended!
Who? Who descended?
Everybody, mi lady !
They came like
the heron to the pool,
taking everything I had.
I have never heard
of such a thing.
You, my good man, should
learn to distinguish
between riffraff and people
of consequence, like us.
What shall we do?
Coachman, drive us home.
Girls, do stop pulling
those dreadful faces.
I'm in a bad enough
mood as it is.
Idiot!
Oh, mama,
she's so beastly to me!
Cinderella!
Cinderella! Where is
that wretched girl?
Why do you not come
when I call you?
Come over here. I have
a job for you to do.
Take these, unpick them, and make 3
splendid new dresses out of them.
Oh, mama, you're so clever.
Make sure they fit
to perfection.
Now start immediately.
There's not a moment
to lose.
Be sure your hands are clean
before you start sewing.
And we're to look
as pretty as possible.
Ah, well, as pretty
as we are!
We must all be
utterly splendid.
So run along, child.
Start at once!
Yes...
Utterly... splendid!
But already,
his heart was--
oh, henrietta,
no stop grumbling.
His heart was
burning with... love
as if it had been laid
on red hot goals!
You like that?
So do I.
Sit down, dear.
Don't do that.
At this point, scheherazade
saw the approach of morning
and fell silent.
As well she might.
Now look what you've done,
set your friends off.
I suppose you want feeding.
No rest, no peace.
Well... see if you like this.
You'll fall.
Hansel, gretel...
Is that
the wrong way round?
Who's that?
Oh, it's you, is it?
Oh, don't wipe
your paws, will you!
I've got nobody to help
me clean, you know.
I have to do all myself.
Do you realize that tiresome scheherazade
is barely halfway through her 1,001 nights?
I have to think of another
496 tales before she's safe.
And m'! Diary is chock-a-block.
Look! Wednesday, a sea journey to
take care of a little mermaid.
Friday... oh, the ugly
duckling's due to hatch.
Well, I have to be
back for that.
Oh, do be quiet, henrietta.
I can't think!
Now, what's that?
Ah! A new key cut
for pandora' s box.
Well, it's all very well
for hans Christian andersen
to say his life
is a fairy story.
Mine isn't.
Nothing! One long slog!
I can do all manner of things
for other people,
but never anything for myself.
Watch! You'd like a bone.
Simple. There you are.
Let me try it for myself.
Would I like a cup of tea?
Yes, I would.
Thank you very much.
Now watch this.
Kettle, boil.
See? Disaster.
Now, what's happened
to cinderella?
How funny.
I was just wishing--
yes. I know.
Do you mind if I make
a very rude comment?
These are hopeless.
They're worse
than hopeless.
I've ruined them.
I'm going to get
into such trouble.
Now, we don't want
any of that.
Dry your tears
and have something to eat.
Hmm. You look
half-starved and worn out.
I'm afraid there isn't
anything to eat.
I was too busy doing
those to cook anything.
What's that, then?
Where did that
come from?
And where did
you come from?
I don' t understand.
No. Well, very few people do.
You're not meant
to understand it.
You're meant
to accept it graciously.
Now, look.
I'm a very busy woman,
and I sometimes--
sometimes lack tact.
The first thing you must learn in
life is never to go by appearances.
Things are never quite
what you think they are.
Do eat up; That's
one of my best recipes.
Take me, for example.
I'm not what I seem.
Mind you, I don't
dress the part
and for very good reason.
Human nature--oh, well,
we won't go into what
I think of human nature,
but if I were to go about my
business all sparkle and glitter,
quite apart
from looking absurd"
because despite what they write
in those storybooks for children,
it's a most unsuitable
costume for a grown woman--
I should never be able to sort out
the worthy from the unworthy.
don' t you agree?
I'm not sure I know
what you're talking about.
I'm a... fairy godmother.
Have been all my life.
And please don't ask
how I got into it,
because it's a long story.
Highly improbable...
And I sometimes wish
we'd never been invented.
Are there many of you?
Not enough to go round,
judging by the amount
of work I have to do.
How do you like that?
Delicious.
It's the sauce, you know.
That old wizard michelin
gave me the secret
in return for 3 of my magic
knives and forks. Where was I?
Yes! Well, I have
to put people to the test.
Now, you passed the test.
Those-that unholy trio upstairs
I simply didn't bother with.
Not worth the effort.
However, to work.
Best that you can do
is get a good nights rest.
No'! You.
I didn't include you.
You've got work to do.
Wm.
Ah. Let me concentrate.
What are they wearing
in Paris these days?
I can't keep up
with fashion.
Well, have you got
any ideas?
Oh, concentrate.
Concentrate.
Of course,
it is not what I am used to,
but I must say, you have made a
reasonable job of stitching this.
I'm mam'sa favorite,
and she promised me first.
Girls, it is
time to leave!
We must not keep
the prince waiting.
Mama, I've just been
telling palatine
that she's not to
feel jealous
if the prince asks
me to dance first.
Oh, mama!
Shh.
Cinderella,
straighten that hem.
How do
I look, mama?
Don't I look superb?
You both look
ravishing.
It will be difficult for your
poor mama to outshine you.
Well!
Come, let us depart.
Clear up the mess in my
bedroom, cinderella.
I do not want to come home
and find it all untidy.
Have a nice time.
You may
depend on that!
Oh, mama,
we look wonderful.
Well, I do.
Come, girls.
Your royal highness,
my lords,
ladies and gentlemen.
Her serene highness
the princess Maria of Tuscany.
The grand duchess Sofia
Elizabeth of dietrichstein.
Her imperial highness
princess Alexandre.
Oh, why not?
I'll just make time.
Yes. Yes,
just as I thought.
Sitting all alone feeling
sorry for ourselves, are we?
Well, that's
understandable, I suppose,
though I never cared much for
these royal occasions myself--
too formal, and not
enough to eat or drink.
Still, I daresay in your heart
of hearts you'd like to go.
Go?
Me go to the ball?
Well, of course.
That what you were
wishing, isn't it?
Not wishing,
exactly,
but thinking what
it must be like.
Same thing.
Now, listen. I haven't got
a great deal of time,
because I'm simply run
off my feet these days--
what a
miserable fire.
You shall go
to the ball.
I just hope I haven't
stretched everything too far
and that I can
make it work.
My powers are not
unlimited, you know.
No, I didn't know.
Oh, I have to
share them out.
Now, let me think.
Yes, I can borrow
a bit until midnight.
Right.
Now.
You !
Outside.
Hey, I shall need you,
so off you go.
Oh, and you.
Take them with you, dog,
and see if you can round up
a frog or a lizard.
Now, then, I must do
something about you.
It doesn't
always work, this,
but then,
I have been lucky.
Oh, dear.
Oh, dear!
Most unsuitable
for a ball.
Yes.
Yes, it is.
Well, you'll just have
to go as you are.
Oh, it's beautiful!
It's beautiful!
How do you do it?
Well, that's
a trade secret,
but it helps
if you dream.
If you dream...
Suddenly
'suddenly it happens
and the dream comes true
wonderfully
beautifully it happens
and your world is new
x magically
you're holding
the golden prize
mystically
your castles
begin to rise
suddenly
dizzily you're spinning
with the thrill of life
suddenly
'thirstily you're drinking in
your fill of life
k but secrets)!
you just can't believe
it's true
and wonderfully
beautifully
suddenly
it happens to you
cinderella.
I can't believe it.
I just can't
believe it!
Oh.
My stepmother
and my stepsisters"
they'll recognize me.
No one will recognize
you for what you are.
People seldom do.
But how
shall I behave?
I'm dressed like
a princess.
Oh, just be
yourself.
And for tonight,
you are a princess--
the princess
incognita.
But I must
warn you--
and take heed, for it
is a solemn warning--
the magic I have conjured here
tonight is borrowed magic.
On the stroke of midnight,
you must return it.
Otherwise, everything
I have transformed
will change back to
its original state.
Suddenly
dizzily you're spinning
with the thrill of life
suddenly
thirstily you're spinning with
the thrill of life
but secretly
you just can't believe
it's true
when
wonderfully
beautifully
suddenly
it happens to you
now...
Off you go,
and enjoy yourself.
Oh, it's beautiful.
Thank you,
fairy godmother.
Remember, before the
stroke of midnight!
Suddenly
'suddenly it happens
and the dream comes true
wonderfully
beautifully it happens
and your world is new
x magically
you're holding
the golden prize
mystically
your castles
begin to rise
suddenly
dizzily you're spinning
with the thrill of life
suddenly
'thirstily you're drinking in
your fill of life
k but secrets)!
you just can't believe
it's true
when wonderfully
beautifully
suddenly it happens
to you
splendid. I always
enjoy a polonaise.
Ahem. Charming
little thing.
Doesn't speak
a word of euphranian.
John?
Ma'am?
Take me
on the floor.
Yes. Yes,
or course.
How very
interesting.
Do you like to dance?
Excellent teeth.
Ha ha!
Your majesties,
your royal highness,
my lords,
ladies and gentlemen.
Her highness
the princess... incognita.
Who is she?
Who can she be?
I've no idea,
your majesty.
She's not
on my list.
Your list,
your list.
Your list. Find
out, man. Find out.
Yes, sir.
I didn't quite
catch the name.
No, mother.
None of us did.
Most irregular.
Play on.
Play on.
I think...
I think I should explain why
I'm here, your royal highness.
My eyes give me
enough reasons.
My name is Edward,
and it is for me to
explain myself to you,
explain why
I subjected you
to this
ridiculous charade.
I'm sure I seem to you
the master of my fate,
but until
this moment,
I've been a prisoner
trapped by my birthright.
Trapped?
Yes.
It was never my inclination
to behave like this.
What I mean is...
And I'm not saying
it very well...
I have always believed
that marriage...
Should begin with love.
I'm sure you agree.
I have never given
the matter much thought.
I'm amazed you even accepted
the invitation to the ball.
Yes.
I was a little
amazed myself.
Didn't you
think it odd?
I suppose I did.
But... you still came.
Why?
Must you
ask that?
Yes, I must.
I had heard
much of you.
Good or bad?
Oh, nothing
but good.
I can't think how.
If I were you, I'd have
believed the worst.
You see,
I was expecting--
I can't tell you
what I was expecting.
But whatever
happens afterwards,
I shall always remember
this moment.
And you must take my present
happiness to make you happier.
Take it...
With all my heart,
for I give it with
all my heart.
There's a secret kingdom
all my own
with no castles and no
vassals and no throne
just two subjects,
you and me
in my private
monarchy
where the king is love
and love alone
in that secret
kingdom that you see
should the make-believe
become reality
with no scepter
in your hand
no dominion
to command
would you be content
with only me?
What is a song
that's never sung?
What is a heart that's never
thrilled to be young?
What is a dream that
can't come true?
What is my life to me
without m'! Love for you?
If that secret kingdom's
ours to share
I could never wish for
more, for you'd be there
just two subjects,
you and me
in our private
monarchy
all alone together
we would love forever
in our secret kingdom
far away somewhere
ahem.
Your royal
highness?
Yes? What is it?
His majesty
requests an audience
with the princess
incognita.
Please
tell my father
we'll be happy to
grant his request.
You frightened her,
you fool!
Wait !
Come back!
Come back.
Rainbows raced
around the room
when he danced
with me
shooting stars
began to zoom
when he danced
with me
in his arms
I was ascending
my world became
a magic blending
of dreams
and hopes and love
when he danced
with me
though this lovely night was
only a fantasy
and I know tonight is
all there will ever be
dancing
in his arms forever
my heart
will never be free
'dreaming of the night
he danced with me
rainbows raced
around the room
when she danced
with me
shooting stars
began to zoom
when she danced
with me
in her arms
I was ascending
at last I saw
that perfect blending
of dreams
and hopes and love
when she danced
with me
could it be that she was
only a fantasy?
Could it be tonight is
all there will ever be?
Dancing
in her arms forever
my heart
will never be free
dreaming of the night
she danced with me
'dreaming of the night
she danced with me
Cinderella!
Where is
that wretched girl?
Cinderella!
Yes, stepmother?
There you are.
Why do you not come
when I call?
I want a weak
infusion of tea.
My head is fit
for cracking.
Good morning,
mama.
Morning, mama.
Bring
the breakfast.
Immediately,
cinderella.
I wasn't able
to sleep.
Oh, oh, the excitement
of last night!
Not on the bed,
my precious.
You would
have been amazed.
Your stepsisters
were a triumph.
Had it not been for the late arrival
of that mysterious princess,
I feel sure the prince would have made
his choice between my two angels.
What princess was that?
Nobody seemed to know.
He seemed quite
taken with her,
but then, men always
go for the obvious.
Oh, yes.
I mean, she was not
that pretty...
Striking, perhaps.
Don't
forget m'! Breakfast.
Breakfast.
Think, mama--
we were actually
there at the castle.
Where you belong,
my dear.
I wonder what the
prince is doing today?
I'll tell you what the prince
is going to do today.
The prince is going to exercise
his royal prerogative for once.
Leave us.
No, stay. I want you
to hear this.
I'm sick and tired of being
treated like some village idiot!
I'm glad you
stayed to hear that.
After all, he is the
heir to the throne.
Father, you're the one who
treats me like an idiot.
You arrange a
bride-finding ball.
Against my better judgment,
I fall in with your plans.
I play my part.
I greet, I'm polite,
I dance with, I flatter,
I conceal my boredom from half a dozen
twittering maidens of blue blood.
In short, I fulfill my side
of the bargain.
True. I can 't
fault him there.
And then, by some miracle, I
find the lady of my choice,
and what happens?
You frighten her away!
A search has been made,
your royal highness.
Is being made
even as we speak.
Our police--
our police, father, couldn't
find a missing haystack,
let alone a needle.
How could she disappear
without a trace?
Do we not have frontiers,
customs posts, guards?
We have customs,
of course.
Valuable source
of revenue.
And most people say that our
policemen are wonderful.
This is apparently the only
clue we have, and I found it.
It's remarkably dainty.
Exactly.
It's unique...
Like its vanished owner.
Therefore, we must use it.
Whoever fits the slipper
must fit the bill!
He's right.
He's right!
Whoever fits this slipper
shall marry my son!
Your majesty, you have
solved the problem.
Quite so.
Now, we must act--
uh, you must act.
Um, this slipper
must be taken
to every stranger
of note in the land.
This really is--
it really is
very dainty.
Um, the young lady
arrived incognita
but must obviously be
of some consequence.
She cannot remain
unknown forever.
A proclamation
is required, sire.
Yes. Draft it
immediately.
Be it known that it is
our royal will
to find the owner of
this charming, uh"
half the size
of your mother's--
this glass slipper,
et cetera, et cetera.
You'd better
take it with you.
Very disturbing.
Hmm. I'm proud
of you, Edward.
By royal command
of his majesty the king,
know this--
that whosoever shall try on
this slipper
and find it a perfect fit,
then, by royal decree,
she shall be given
in marriage
to his royal highness
the prince Edward of euphrania,
heir to the throne.
God save the king!
Push! Push!
Oh, I am pushing, mama!
It doesn't fit.
Let me try.
Ooh...
Now, push hard!
Have you found her?
Any sign of her at all?
And you?
And you?
Sir?
Hmm?
I don't care
what anyone says.
I know she exists.
The slipper
will remain there
as a monument to
my lost love.
How absurd life is.
Down there, everything
is so simple.
People meet,
fall in love,
marry,
and have children.
I daresay
they envy me here.
I'm told envy of princes
is a common enough thing.
3 months,
6 days, 10 hours.
That's how long it's been
since last I saw her.
What torture love is!
Yes.
Oh, how selfish of me.
Forgive me, John.
Have you seen
your lady Caroline?
Oh, yes...
Infrequently.
What torture love is.
You see, sir, if my father
were a chancellor...
How easy it would be
the lovely
lady Caroline
would be a proper
wife, you see
but my father
was a servant
and my mother
same as he
so the lady
of my choosing
is a world away
from me
that's how it is
and how it was
and how it
always shall be
position
and positioning
are socially
conditioning
how you're born,
how you're bred
predetermine
who you wed
which means there's
nothing changeable
nothing's
rearrangeable
position
and positioning
are everything
in life
farmers' daughters
marry cow herds
that's acceptable
and right yes.
But absurd
and quite unheard of
is a milk maid
and a knight
I quite agree
he quite agrees
she quite
agrees
that's how it
always shall be
position and
positioning
are socially
conditioning
people high,
people low
keep the state
of status quo
which means there's
nothing changeable
nothing's rearrangeable
position
and positioning
are everything
in life
when a lad first
joins the army
this is what he
learns for starters
never court your
colonel's daughter
or he'll have your guts
for garters
that's how it is
and how it was
and how it always
shall be
For position
and positioning
are socially
conditioning
how you dress
and hold your head
predetermine
who you wed
which means there's
nothing changeable
nothing's
rearrangeable
position and
positioning
are everything
in life
all the servants
in a castle
they reflect
the world outside
they have rank
and they have station
and adhere to them
with pride
oh, the staff that work
below stairs
they have dreams
to work above
and they're locked
in their positions
by tradition's
iron glove
that's how it is?
And how it was
and how it always
shall be
we know our place,
and happily
we bow and scrape
and bend our knee
but woe betide
the woe begone
who try to join
our Echelon
for privilege
is not, you see
confined to just
the royalty
behind these doors,
I might suggest
I'm similarly blessed
Yes, position
and positioning
are socially
conditioning
though you work
your life away
where you start
is where you stay
which means there's
nothing changeable
nothing' s
rearrangeable
position and
positioning
are stuck with you
for life
position and
positioning
are socially
conditioning
though you work
your life away
where you start
is where you stay
which means there's
nothing changeable
nothing' s
rearrangeable
position and
positioning
are everything
in life
everything in life
everything
in life
I life, life, life,
life, life, life I
that's how it is?
And how it was.
And how it
always shall be
All right,
you've convinced me,
but I shall
prove you wrong,
for princes,
when convinced,
take advantage
of their position.
I can't think why I didn't do
something about it before.
John I about what?
Wait, and all
will be revealed.
Kneel.
What? Me?
I command it.
I dub thee, as is my
privilege so to do,
a knight of the order
of Saint David.
Arise, sir John.
As a knight
of the realm,
you can now claim the hand
of the fair lady Caroline--
which is fortunate
for you but which, alas,
leaves me without
a companion-at-arms.
What's your name?
Uh, willoughby,
your royal highness.
Can he not answer
for himself?
It's not his
positioh, you see.
Ah, true.
But it will be.
I shall elevate you, too,
willoughby.
From henceforth, you are my
personal companion-at-arms,
with all the privileges
such office bestows.
You will need
a sword.
Here.
Take mine.
It goes the other
way around.
Help him, will you?
Well, that's a good
morning's work.
Congratulations,
willoughby.
And congratulations
to you, too, sir John.
What can I say?
Nothing.
Go and find her.
Be happy.
happy enough
for both of us.
I must fetch the prince.
This is an outrage!
Where have you been,
you wretched girl? You...
Your royal highness.
Oh!
Oh!
I little knew, madam, that I would
have the pleasure of meeting
you and your delightful daughters
again in such happy circumstances.
What circumstances,
your royal highness?
You are the legal guardian, I
believe, of my wife to be.
Your wife to be?
Why, yes. I am more
than her legal guardian.
I have been a mother to her.
Then I do right by formally
asking your permission
to take cinderella's
hand in marriage.
Oh!
Oh!
Control yourselves !
Permission? Why, of course!
Gladly! Naturally.
I don't understand. Do I--
will you be quiet?
Your royal highness,
please allow me the honor of
inviting you into
our happy home.
Come, cinderella, dear.
We were so worried about you.
Thank you, but no, I have other
urgent business to attend to.
In my happiness,
I forgive you all.
Forgive me?
How dare she forgive me?
And what do they call you?
Cinderella,
your majesty.
A most unusual name.
The name, mother,
is surely of no importance.
All that matters is that I've made my
choice and wait for your blessings.
You gave us a lot of trouble,
you know, after the ball.
People looking for you
everywhere. Vanished, you see.
Did you go back
to your own kingdom?
No, your majesty. I went
back to where I live.
And where is that, child?
Why, here,
your majesty.
Here? In the castle?
No, father. As you've often
remarked, love is blind.
And we sometimes don't look
under our noses.
Cinderella lives in our own
euphrania, not 20 Miles from here.
Who is this girl?
Why doesn't somebody tell
me what is going on?
This is the girl that
Edward wants to marry.
Is going to
marry, father.
I don't wish to
seem offensive,
but it does seem to me
that she's most unsuitably
dressed for such a
solemn occasion.
You're quite right, grandmama. It's
something I shall correct immediately.
Father, by your leave.
Questions
of precedent.
Unprecedented
questions of precedent.
My own thought,
sire.
A meeting, I think.
The staff council.
It has already been
convened, your majesty.
Pity. Charming
little thing.
In other circumstances...
Most appealing.
Who is it?
Milady, I'm commanded
by his majesty the king
to request an audience.
Oh.
One moment, please.
Please enter.
Mi lord Chamberlain.
Milady.
Forgive me for
disturbing your rest...
But, alas, there are
some matters of state
that cannot be delayed.
His majesty has requested me,
as his principal minister...
To broach...
A question of
some delicacy.
I...
You love the prince Edward,
do you not?
Why, of course.
Who wouldn't?
Oh, quite so.
Uh, please. Please.
And he has expressed
his love for you
before the whole court.
Yes.
Yes, he has.
Very commendably.
Bis makes...
Oh, dear.
Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
Oh, dear.
I'm really too old
for this sort of thing.
Forgive me,
my dear child, but...
Despite my appearance
and the pomp and circumstance
of my high office...
I am not without understanding
of your plight.
For plight it is.
To be blunt,
because the hour is late.
It is not possible for his
majesty to give consent
to such a marriage.
Not possible?
What does that mean?
What are you saying?
Hmm. Well...
Your love
for the prince
and his love for you,
well, that is a fine
and private thing.
Would that it could
remain so,
but the times demand
something different.
The prince must make
a marriage of alliance
with a princess
of the blood royal.
And that is why
I am here,
burdened with
this unhappy task.
You see,
my dear child,
in life, love cannot
always find a way.
You were born here,
so you know that
our little kingdom,
whilst far from perfect,
has yet enjoyed countless
centuries of peace.
Now that peace is
threatened from without.
There are some who look
towards our frontiers
with greedy eyes.
You see only love
and happiness
staring you in the face.
I see nothing but war
and destruction...
Unless a sacrifice
is made.
And the sacrifice...
Is to be me.
Yes.
It's a lot to ask,
but I have to
ask it.
To leave him now?
To leave him now,
before it's too late.
But he would
search for me again.
He would search
for me and find me.
I know he would.
Yes. That, too,
is true,
but we've allowed
for that.
It is suggested
that with proper dowry
and every other
consideration
fitting the circumstances
of this most unhappy occasion,
it is suggested that you be
taken from here this very night
to a secret place of exile
far beyond our borders.
You have forgotten
nothing, then.
I thank you for
bringing such tidings
with tact
and understanding.
You were well chosen
for the task.
Your ladies-in-waiting
will be sent for.
But in bowing to
the royal demands,
I must make one
of my own.
Milady?
It is not very much
and something
which...
With your greater experience
in these matters,
you will not find
very difficult.
I wish you to tell his
royal highness...
Prince Edward...
I wish
you'd tell him...
Tell him...
Tell him that
it wasn't love
say I tried
say I lied
tell him
I'm unworthy of
what he feels
inside
tell him that
you heard me say
what seemed right
just last night
simply seemed
to fade away
in the light of day
tell him of the
countless other lovers
whom I tantalized,
victimized
tell him of
the many other times
I've played
this heartless game
just tee saw'.
'Tell him
what I really am
is just a cold
and empty sham
tell him anything
but not
that I love him
tell him that
it wasn't love
all we shared,
all we cared
make him hate
my memory
make him glad he's free
paint me evil,
paint me cruel
say I broke every rule
make him feel
that he's a fool
for his loving me
don't let him know
why I must leave him
why I mus go
so far away
for if he knew
how much I love him
no power on earth
could make him stay
your majesty.
The deed is done.
She certainly behaved
like a princess.
Come on!
The frontier!
Father.
Father, you have done
what you've done.
The spoils
are yours,
but it is
a small victory.
If I could explain...
Spare me that.
Spare me the final hypocrisy
of your sympathy.
Take your map.
Rearrange it to your
hearts content.
Make your precious
marriage of alliance.
You've destroyed whatever
vestige of love and happiness
I might have found,
and you've done it in
the name of patriotism.
So... let it be thus.
Choose me a bride
from amongst the ragbag
of royal virgins
I have twice
rejected.
Choose who you will.
I care not.
I'll play my public
part to the altar
but no further.
Your royal house
will live with you
but die with me.
Dear cinderella,
forgive me.
I have no heart for what
I must shortly perform.
My heart is yours
and yours alone.
I would not have you grieve
for what was not to be.
It's only in fairy tales
that the prince...
Marries the lady
of his choice.
The real world
is not so kind.
There are no
private kingdoms"
only public ones.
I have loved but once.
I have loved but you,
and I have lost you twice.
I can't forget
the melody
although our song
is through
the love we shared
the dream we dared
was just a prayer
that can't come true
I try to stop
remembering
but till the day I die
within my memory
will live the melody
of the song
that was you and me
although our song
is through
I can't stop loving you
for I can't forget
the melody
and what, might I ask,
are you doing here?
Oh, it's you.
You gave me
such a shock.
I should hope so.
That is nothing to the shock
you've just given me.
Why, you shouldn't
be here at all.
That's not
how I planned it.
Oh, really!
I sometimes wish
I could retire.
Unless I'm
on the spot
to take care of
every little detail,
something
always goes wrong.
I know exactly
what happened.
You stayed beyond
the stroke of
midnight, didn't you?
Yes. Oh, but please
don't scold me.
I'm unhappy enough
as it is.
Well, of course,
you're unhappy.
Any girl
would be unhappy
if she were missing
her own wedding.
Wedding?
Yes.
The prince gets
married today.
I had the date
underlined in my diary.
Why else do you suppose
I am dressed like this?
Who...
Who's he marrying?
Well, at the moment, the
wrong girl, obviously.
Oh, it's
too irritating.
I had it
all mapped out.
Well, I suppose I shall simply
have to rise to the occasion
and do something
spectacular yet again,
and spectaculars always
take so much out of me.
Just come down
off the swing.
It was the same
with snow white.
All the same,
you young girls.
Never do
as you're told.
Men are much easier.
Oh, mama.
Your majesty.
Sire.
Ahem.
Sir.
Ahem !
Oh...
What can I say?
This is, uh--
I can assure you--
Your excuse
is absolutely inadequate.
Ahh.
Is the ceremony
over?
What a relief!
Your majesty,
this could lead to war.
I know, I know!
Well, think of something!
He cannot
marry her, sire.
The constitution
does not allow it.
Well, don't tell me.
I wrote it.
Yes. Don't tell him.
He wrote it.
I beg your
pardoh, madam?
And if he wrote it,
he can unwrite it.
Don't you agree,
your majesty?
He can write
what he likes,
so long as
he clears this room.
There are too many
people in it by far,
most of them
not worth a candle.
After all,
you are the king.
Yes, that's right. I am!
And absolute monarchs
should act absolutely.
It's very becoming.
She's right
who is she?
I've no idea, sire.
She must be
one of the visitors.
But even if you alter the
constitutioh, your majesty,
it doesn't solve the problem
of the other bride.
No, you're right. So we're
back where we started.
It's staring you
in the face.
What is?
The answer.
What sort of
an answer is that?
They're in love!
They are?
It was love at
first sight.
You have my word
for it.
Ask him.
Cousin...
Cousin, it has been
brought to my notice--
oh, yes. And to mine.
Isn't she ravishing?
But, uh, am I
to understand--
yes... anything.
It really
is disgraceful.
Well, what can we do as fathers
faced with this very human dilemma?
It's a question
of honor.
Yes. Well, it would seem in all
the circumstances to be, uh...
Afait accompli?
It's certainly
a fate. Ha ha.
The younger generation's
so fickle.
Not like us,
no sense of duty,
no sense of history.
Speaking for myself,
I had a sword in my back.
You, too?
Well, that's what I mean.
We never shirked
our responsibilities.
So, what's it to be?
Well, it looks like
another wedding.
Yes. It looks
like that.
Can I speak
as man to man?
I'd welcome it.
He's, uh, not what
I wanted, but, us...
Then neither
was she.
Oh, charming girl!
Plenty of spirit.
I'll arrange everything.
My place, I think.
The sooner the better.
Yes, thus cementing
our great alliance.
Conceal ing
our shame.
Amen.
In the name
of the father,
of the soh, and
of the holy spirit.
Amen.
In the name of the father
and of the son
and of the holy spirit.
Amen.
Amen.
Not a royal state
a royal state of mind
it comes shining into view
when the one you love
loves you
and alone together
you will reign forever
in that secret kingdom
where love's dreams
come true
So we must be
protocoligorically correcti
good form must never
suffer from neglect
the rules and regulations
we respect
must be treated circumspect
else the kingdom
will be wrecked
we've a system to protect
checked and double-checked
and protocoligorically
correct
so we must be
protocoligorically correct
good form must
never suffer from neglect
the rules and regulations
we respect
t must be treated circumspect
else the kingdom
will be wrecked
we've a system
to protect
checked and double-checked
and protocoligorically
correct
Protocol
Protocol,
protocol, protocol
above all
above all, above all,
above all
makes the kingdom
rise or fall
so we must be
protocoligorically correct
good form must
never suffer from neglect
the rules and regulations
we respect
must be treated circumspect
else the kingdom
will be wrecked
we've a system to protect
checked and double-checked
and protocoligorically
correct
Protocoligorically correct