1
Howdy.
I'd like to get some gas,
let it cool off a bit.
So how far is the next town?
20 miles.
Petrol's a penny a gallon cheaper
there, if you think you could make it.
Oh, yeah?
But I'll bet the service
isn't as good, huh?
Huh?
Good looking chickens.
Uh, chickens.
Check under the bonnet for you?
Oil, water, battery?
Swell.
Hiya, sweetheart.
Nice little place you got here.
What do you got that's good?
Take your chances.
Not much of a salesman, are you?
I ain't selling nothing.
You want a sandwich?
You can have one.
Ham or cheese?
Cheese is from a month ago.
Ham's from last Christmas.
Got any fruit?
Pineapple or peaches.
I'll have a pineapple.
You want tea?
It's a penny for the first cup.
Sure, why not?
It's good.
It's all in the
way you open the tin.
Having trouble with your car?
No, just filling up the tank.
Petrol's a penny a gallon
cheaper at Dealy's.
I know.
Sam don't make
money selling petrol.
It's repairs where he gets 'em.
Bloke gets stuck out here,
he really gets stuck.
You from America?
You could tell, huh?
What are you doing here?
Working, seeing the sights.
Not much work these days.
Not much to see, either.
Depends on who's
doing the looking.
Where you going?
Windsor, maybe.
See the king.
Maybe Hollywood.
What for?
Thinking of being a film star?
Maybe.
Going to Windsor for silver
jubilee, is that it?
Like I said, maybe Windsor,
maybe Hollywood, maybe both.
I met another American once.
Fella by the name
of Tex Bernard.
An odd name, I thought.
Do you know him?
What's your name?
Duke.
Duke of what?
Not duke of what.
Duke Turnbeau.
Turnbeau.
How would you spell that?
T-U-R-N-B-E-A-U. It's French.
Mine's Rosie.
Rosie of what?
Rosie of none of your business.
We ain't' getting
married, you know.
Just introduced.
You want more tea?
Second cup doesn't
cost anything.
Can't stand to
pass up a bargain.
Ever been there
before, to Windsor?
No.
I thought about going to London
once, more than once.
So what's keeping you?
You married to that
old man out there?
Just work for him, huh?
If that's what
you want to call it.
When do you call it?
Slave labor.
So why do you stick it out?
You chicken to leave?
I'm lucky enough
to have it, and I'll
leave when I'm good and ready!
If you're ready to
leave, it's 10 pence.
How do you figure?
8 pence for the
pineapple and two teas.
I thought the second
cup was on the house.
Guess I changed
my mind, didn't I?
Yeah.
Guess maybe I will, too.
You see that?
That was gonna be your tip.
Got bad news for you, mate.
Manifold gasket's blown.
That ain't so bad by itself,
but, uh, you also
got a leak in the carburetor.
So?
Oh, well, that's when you have
to keep your eye on it.
All you need is for one drop
of petrol to connect
with a spark coming through the
space in that gasket,
and pow, up she blows.
Well, I'll tell you, partner,
I've had this old truck ever
since I got it, and she's been
a good old friend.
So I don't think I'm gonna start
doubting her just now,
know what I mean?
As you like it.
We was just cautioning you.
It's up to you, isn't it?
Er, need a quart of oil.
We'll add up what you owe.
Now, seven gallons.
That's, er, 13 and 4 pence.
Plus 1 and 2 for the oil.
That's, er, 14 and 6 pence.
Just so you know, I...
I could do the motor
work for a quid.
Tell you what, pal...
I got places to go
and people to meet.
Take care of them chickens, huh?
I put my bag in the back.
Where do you think you're going?
Far as I can.
Just like that, huh?
What else?
Well, you might ask.
All right.
I'm asking.
Hey!
Can we go now?
What do you mean, can we go...
Hey!
What the bloody hell's going on?
Where do you think you're going?
You get out of that lorry!
What's going on between you two?
I'm leaving with him.
That's what's going on!
Leaving?
You get out of there before I
give you a right backhand!
Uh, now just hold on a minute.
You keep out of this.
It's between her and me.
You've got no chains on me!
You don't own me!
Chains?
I want notice!
What do you think I'm gonna do
if somebody comes in here
and wanted a meal?
Go in there and put
on a bloody apron?
I'll leave you one of me dresses
to wear if it'll
make you feel better!
Now wait a minute!
Now you can't do that!
Lousy, rotten two-bit
chicken fucker.
You want it?
It's only four days old.
Quite a temper you got.
Yeah?
Well, you're not exactly
little orphan Annie.
Who's she?
Forget it.
Just an expression.
Meaning what?
Meaning nothing.
She's a comic strip.
It's in the papers.
Funny little short kid with orange,
curly hair and a dog.
And you think I'm like her?
I said you weren't like her.
What's different?
Look, just forget it, will you?
Can't explain it to you.
You read the comics?
You don't have to
read the comics just
to know who little
orphan Annie is.
No?
Then how would you know?
You just know, that's all.
If you're an American,
you just know.
Smell something funny.
Like what?
What'd he say?
He said your motor's on fire.
Oh.
Oh, Christ!
Oh.
Duke, the the whole
thing's gonna blow up!
The whole thing's gonna blow!
Well, I'm gonna get my bags.
Leave that stuff in there!
No, the whole
thing's gonna burn up!
Worthless hunk of tin!
So?
Mmm.
Two days.
Two days?
Are right then.
Tomorrow morning.
But, uh, it will cost
you an extra 2 bob,
and I want to be
paid in advance.
Be ready anytime after 6:00
in case you want to leave early.
And, uh, there's
a room over there.
3 and 6 for the night.
- Police.
- What?
Who's there?
Police.
Open the door.
Oh, all right.
All right.
Just keep your shirt on.
All right
There she is right there.
It's Miss McCrutcheon, isn't it?
It's McCratchit.
You just be careful, my beauty.
We're here on a
matter of a robbery.
Now, sir, would you mind telling
her just who you are?
Name's Duke Turnbull.
I'm an American.
You guys must be making
some kind of mistake.
Mistake, is it?
12 pounds have been stolen from
Sam Turnwick's place.
You're barmy.
We didn't steal anything.
Well, I'm afraid we're gonna have
to search the room, sir.
Unless you have any objections.
Yeah, I object.
In which case, sir,
I'll have to ask
you to accompany
us down to the police station.
She's all yours.
Well, well, well, well, well.
5, 6...
Uh, that's my money.
7, 8.
I said that was my money.
9 pounds 10 shillings.
That's most of it, anyway.
What did you do with
the rest, spend it?
That's my own goddamn money!
That'll be for
the judge to decide.
Well, now, what
have we got here?
How much.
It's all here, like Sam said.
12 quid.
- Huh.
There, you see?
That proves it, right?
Proves what?
That that 9 pound
10 is my own money.
Well, what I think is that
Sam Turnwick made a mistake when he
said how much money you took.
That's what I think.
Yes, I think you might be right.
Oh, come on, fellas.
Let's, uh... let's
cut the comedy, huh?
You think the charge
of aiding-abetting
a thief is funny, do you?
All I'm saying is that you
got the 12 quid, right?
- Right.
- Why don't you take it?
Take the girl with
you, if you want.
Just give me back my 9 pound 10.
I might warn you, sir,
that in this country,
that might be
construed as an attempt
to bribe a police officer.
I heard that.
That's another charge.
You're right.
Well, sir, do you still claim
that money was yours?
Or am I right in saying that
the victim was in error
regarding the
amount of money that
was stolen from his premises?
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess I made a mistake.
Well, now we're
all of the same mind.
I'm willing to say that
once Sam Turnwick gets
all his money back,
I can convince
him to drop all the charges.
What do you think, Constable?
Oh, I'd say so.
Once old Sam gets his money
back, he won't care.
Right.
Well, sir, I reckon
we'll be off.
Enjoy your stay, sir.
Night, my dear.
And remember, crime never pays.
He owed it to me.
Well, that doesn't have
anything to do with me!
And I didn't ask
for any sob stories!
Well, you don't have
to burst me eardrums!
It ain't the end of
the world, you know!
How the hell can you say that?
I'm the one who's
got to be someplace,
and I'm the one who's
got to be there on time!
Well, that's news
to me, ain't it?
You never said nothing
before about being
in such a bloody rush!
'Cause it's none of
your damn business!
Well, if it ain't
none of my business,
then don't blame me
for what goes on!
Look, I didn't bargain
for this kind of thing
when I took you along!
So as far as I'm concerned, the deal's off!
You understand?
Now you can go on here
and finish sleeping,
if that's what you want!
But starting tomorrow
morning, you're gonna
find your own way out of here!
Are you gonna put
this out, or should I?
Well, what's the problem, miss?
I'm out of petrol.
Oh.
Buy some gas.
Give my love to Southampton.
I'm pregnant!
Four months.
I was afraid you might
have knocked me about 'cause
of what happened last night.
You might have hit
me in the stomach.
You could have left me
back at Sam's, you know.
But you didn't!
There was nobody
pointing a gun at you!
Where's you get the 10 bob?
I had it in my shoe.
Now I got 7.
What do you want?
- Work.
- Doing what?
- Whatever needs doing.
- Who's that?
- Wife.
- Does she work, too?
- She's pregnant.
- How much?
Four months.
For months what?
Four months pregnant.
He's asking you
how much you want.
Oh.
8 bob a day, meals,
a place to sleep.
4 bob a day, two meals each.
You can sleep in the shed.
You want me to rub your back?
How'd you get pregnant?
Just somebody passing through.
He got stuck, so Sam put him
up for a couple of days
while he mended his car.
That's it?
That's what?
That's all there was to it?
Well, that and getting into the
same bed at the same time.
How much do you think it'll take
to get away from here?
A quid, couple tanks of gas.
That's three days work plus the
7 bob you already got.
Two days now.
Get out of here by
Friday, be where
I'm headed by Sunday easy.
Where are you going?
What?
Southampton is where
the lorry driver said.
I thought it was supposed to be to Windsor.
What difference
does it make to you?
So, you're not planning to see the king.
You're not planning to
go to Hollywood, either.
What is this, some
kind of investigation?
You working for the
cops now, or what?
I'm just on my way
to London to see
a couple of guys, that's all.
No big mystery, ok?
Anyway, you know
some law says I can't
be a movie star in London?
Suppose you never heard
of Douglas Fairbanks, either?
You want to douse the light?
Unless you'd like to read the
comics or something.
Are you sure you don't want
me to rub your back?
We're hungry.
You can understand that.
Listen, little boy, don't grow up
to be a rotten old skinflint
like your father.
Ma!
Why, you stinking little sod!
Ma!
You owe me a day
and half's wages.
I owe you nothing.
You owe me 6 bob.
He owes you nothing!
I owe you nothing.
Get in.
Get in!
I'm sorry, Duke.
What?
I said I was sorry, Duke.
What are we gonna do now?
I'm going back.
What for?
That worm owes me 6bob,
and I'm gonna get it
from him one way or the other.
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Hey.
You always have...
What did you do?
It's from the farm.
I stole it from the farm.
Farmer who wouldn't give
me the 6 bob he owed me?
What are you gonna do with it?
What'll I do with it?
I'm gonna sell it!
What do you think?
But it's stolen!
It's got a stamp!
Well, who the hell
cares about that?
People are going to bed hungry from
one end of this country
to the other.
You offer to sell 'em
a whole cow for 2 quid,
you think somebody's
gonna ask to see papers?
What's the matter with you?
Think I'm supposed to walkaway
and forget the fact that
I busted my back... my back...
For a day and a
half for nothing?
Nobody walks over me.
Nobody!
You understand that?
A man owes me money, I'm gonna
get it from him one way
or the other!
You let a guy walk over you
once, the second time,
you don't even notice it.
And the third time, you
might as well be dead!
'Cause there's nothing sorrier
than a human being
who leaves his backbone
hanging in a closet.
You boys get around.
Don't we now?
Make yourselves at home.
This your mother's place?
You mind your manners.
You're not in a rodeo now.
You know, you'll get four
years for what you've done.
You put that in you
Yankee pipe and smoke it
They can't really give
us four years, can they?
No, why not?
For pinching a cow?
Blimey, there's nobody
that's stinking rotten.
Uh, hey.
Uh, you got a second?
Yes?
What's this about
the for years, huh?
What about it?
Well, you can't really
put two people in...
In a cell for four years
for swiping a lousy cow.
Can't we?
We know how to deal with gangsters
over here, you know?
Well, that has
nothing to do with me.
That would be for the jury
to decide, wouldn't it?
Uh, psst.
Psst.
Yeah?
You can let her
go, at least, huh?
Can we?
Well, she had nothing
to do with stealing cow.
And besides, she's pregnant.
Pregnant, hey?
Well, now.
That's the one right
there, Miss Darby,
the one supposed to be pregnant.
What do you think you're doing?
Now just calm down and keep your
trap shut, both of you!
You're blimey if
you think I'm gonna
let that old witch touch me!
Now look, miss,
you're in enough trouble
as it is already.
I'll scratch her eyes out if she
even lays one finger on me!
I swear to God I will!
Go in there and subdue her.
And if she tries to prevent the
matron from carrying out
- the examination...
- Don't touch me!
Can't we just talk about this?
About what, sir?
Keep your hands off me!
On me, sir!
Would you kindly...
- You stop.
- Let go of me!
Get yourself... get Get in there,
for crying out loud!
Get.
Now love, take the little
bitty out of here!
No!
No, you keep her hands
off me, you old witch!
Come on, young lady.
I said not to touch me, you old, rotten..
All right!
I'm not pregnant!
What do you mean,
you're not pregnant?
I reckon she's been having you
on a marry old dance, lad.
Right, matron.
Come on.
Come on, Fred.
Don't forget your hat.
Not pregnant indeed.
How come you're not pregnant?
Well, I ain't pregnant
'cause I never was.
And the only reason
I ever said I was
is because I had to come up
with something as serious-sounding
as that or you
might have left me
stranded out there
in that woods after I
stole your rotten lorry.
Is that a good enough
reason for you?
Good enough reason?
I'm driving along,
minding my own business,
trying to get from point A
to B, having no trouble
at all, until you come along!
Wait a minute.
I didn't just come along.
You asked me along.
Asked you?
Well, you didn't
refuse, did you?
And that's asking?
Well, it ain't refusing, is it?
Aw, forget it.
Drop it, will you?
Just forget I even mentioned it.
You're driving me nuts.
You think I'd be asking too much
if I asked you to move
over and make some room for me?
Thanks.
Don't thank me, ok?
Ok.
Thanks for nothing, then.
What are you gonna do now?
Now I'm gonna try
and get some sleep.
I mean about trying
to get out of here.
Look, let's just make
a promise to each other, ok?
From now on, you
worry about your life,
and I'll worry about mine.
Follow me?
From now on, where
I go and what I do
is nobody's business but mine.
So we're saying
goodbye, is that it?
That's right.
That's just it.
Right here in the middle of
this prison cell.
What am I supposed to do?
Pretend you're not here anymore?
It'd help if you quit talking.
Well, you haven't
stopped answering.
I can't sleep on me back.
Do you mind if I turn over?
I don't care what you do.
Just don't make any fast moves.
You in pain?
Just move slow.
Well...
Duke?
What?
I want you to know before I say
goodbye that I appreciate
your helping with
those two coppers,
even if you think I
didn't deserve it.
Nobody deserves nothing.
They don't deserve it.
Duke?
What now?
Goodbye.
Hmm.
What?
Me shoulder.
Oh.
What?
My hand.
Oh.
Does your face hurt?
No, why?
Well, it's killing me.
Go to sleep.
Psst.
Psst!
Duke, you in there?
It's me, Smiley!
Psst!
Smiley?
Is that you?
Who do you think it
is, a bleeding ghost?
I can't see you.
Never mind that.
Just listen.
Who is it?
Shh.
How the hell'd you find me?
How many roads you
think they got around here?
The bus stops for petrol
right in the village.
How'd you know I was locked up?
You kidding?
The whole place is talking about
the American gangster
they've caught.
- Who's out there?
- Shh.
- Who's in there?
Shh!
Just get me out
of here, will you?
Well, don't act
as if it's my fault.
I thought rustling cattle went
out with Billy the Kid!
Come on, come on!
All right!
Keep your hair on!
I've got it all worked
out, the perfect plan.
Now, where's your lorry?
My what?
Your lorry.
The truck!
Where is it?
Oh, it's... it's got to be
around here somewhere.
You won't have to see it
because you probably can smell it.
Why?
Smiley!
- Who's Smiley?
Shh.
He's a pal of mine.
He's gonna break us out of here.
Oh.
Don't forget to let me
know when he does it.
Smiley!
You there, Smiley?
Yeah, it's me.
Just keep quiet.
Duke, you there?
Yeah.
I'm tying a
rope around the bars.
What?
Oh, never mind.
Just sit tight.
Duke, you still there?
Yeah, I'm still here.
I'm putting a chain
around the bars.
Yeah.
Come on.
I'm Smiley.
Pleased to meet you.
Shh.
Come on, Smiley.
Floor it!
We're dragging the whole prison with us!
Never mind that now.
Here we go.
Swell.
Think anybody heard us?
What you doing with her?
Some other time, huh?
What other time?
Way I've worked it out,
George and Richie probably
got to yesterday,
maybe even the day
before, them and
the two lorries.
And we ain't handing
out any free trips.
So?
So believe me,
mate, there aren't
gonna be two more nervous
blokes then them two on this earth
until we show up.
The last thing we need is that.
All right.
Take it easy, will you?
I'll take care of it.
Look, the way I
see it, they've set
up two road blocks...
One east, and one west.
For an escaped cow thief?
Very serious crime.
A mate of mine got 18
months for nicking a chicken.
Well, no mind about that.
I've got a plan.
I'll pop back into
town, pick up a new car,
hop back here, and pick you up.
How's that gonna help me get
through a roadblock?
Well, I'll get a
van or something,
think of some way of
hiding you in the back,
wait for the right time, and slip
through neat and clean.
You're gonna steal it?
Steal it?
Steal it?
What for?
I've got close to 50
quid in my pocket.
You fancy her, or what?
See you before dark.
Dump her.
I got good ears, you know.
I heard some of what you
were saying about George
and some other fella
getting nervous
because you wasn't there yet.
Richie?
Yeah, Richie.
Why'd they be so nervous?
It's got something to do
with money, hasn't it?
There's money out
there, and you're all
supposed to be there to get it.
And if you're not there on time,
you won't get it, right?
What are you doing?
Pinching it?
From where, a bank?
You're a bank robber, right?
I knew all along you
wasn't planning to be a film star.
You was in too much of a rush.
Yeah, just like
you was pregnant.
Well, at least I told you the
truth when the time came.
What is this, confession?
The only time you
told me the truth
was when there was no way for
you to tell me anything else!
Well, why don't you do
the same thing for me?
Same how?
Tell me the truth!
What truth?
Well, is it or isn't it?
So that's all you are?
A rotten crook.
A crook?
You talking to me
about being a crook?
Who stole the 12 quid
from the guy she worked for?
Tell me that, huh?
He owed it to me!
That and more!
Yeah, just like
the whole world owes me.
And you don't think they do?
The only one who
owes me anything
is that stinking farmer.
And you'd better believe that's
a six bob I'm gonna
collect one of these days.
I'm sick and tired of hearing
about the stinking
farmer and the rotten
6 bob he owes you.
If you'd stop talking about
it two days ago when
you should have, we wouldn't be in
half this trouble right now.
Well, which one of
us got us kicked out
of there in the first place?
Can't you blame
yourself for anything?
Yeah, if it's my fault!
So that's what you do
for a living in America?
Rob banks?
It's not gonna be a bank.
It's a truck, an armored truck.
Oh, I see.
That's what you do.
Rob armored trucks.
Truck.
One truck.
You already have, or is
this gonna be the first?
This is gonna be the first.
Why are you doing it?
Are you kidding me?
Are you gonna tell
me that a million
bucks means nothing to you?
Oh, yeah.
It means something to me.
It means you're somebody
I didn't think you were.
And it means I'm sorry
about what happened last night.
Last night?
You mean trying to make out
like a couple of kids?
Only we was beat
up and behind bars
instead of in the backseat of
a Chevy looking out at the moon.
Well, I thought
it was something.
Yeah.
Well, you still have a
few things to learn about life.
And who knows?
Maybe next week I'll have time
to start teaching you.
Hello, officer.
What's up?
Afternoon, sir.
No one else with you?
Just a customer.
Well, we better have a look.
What happened?
Somebody pinch the town hall?
Just open up, if
you don't mind, sir.
Now, you say there's
a corpse in here?
Yes.
May we have a look?
Well, it's not nailed up yet.
He looks fresh.
Yeah, don't he just?
Fresh as a day Daisy.
Ah, but that's the art, you see.
Embalming, that's
what they call it.
The latest thing.
You'd think he was just taking a
little nap, wouldn't you?
Hey, be careful.
Uh, sorry, sir.
No disrespect.
I didn't think it
would bother him.
Oh, where are
you taking him now?
All the way to London there.
Paid for by his
loving relatives.
What happened to him?
He died.
I know that, but
what I'm asking is how?
Oh, don't know.
Germs, most likely.
Yeah, there's millions of
'em crawling about everywhere.
Haven't you heard?
Don't like to get too personal.
You know what I mean?
You maul 'em, I haul 'em.
That's my motto.
Funny kind of job you've got.
It's a living.
Now look, what about this
popsy in the coffin?
Shh.
Take a listen to
this motor, will you?
It purrs like a kitten.
I thought we had
an understanding, didn't we?
Yeah, sure.
What'd you pay for this thing?
49 quid.
Thieving git wanted 50.
I talked him down.
Now what about this tart?
Now wait a minute.
You mean you spent
49 quid on this when
you knew that you only had 50?
Well, why not?
This wagon's worth
twice that much.
It's a bargain, I'm telling you!
A bargain, huh?
Yeah, that's right.
I'll get me money
back on this and some.
- Where?
- Where?
Anywhere.
You think people only
die in certain places?
You buy the best, and
this is what you get.
Get that down!
So?
I've been thinking, Duke?
Well, this is all I've got left.
Everything, the lot.
What's that?
Well, it's a bus ticket, paid
for all the way to London.
Now, I'm gonna make a suggestion 'cause
time's running short,
mate.
And what I'm suggesting
is that I go to London alone.
And, well, it's all I've got.
So you take it now.
Now, this ticket I can
go back to that village
where I found you, pick
up the bus tonight.
All you've got to do is find a
place to spend the night.
In the morning,
pick up a new tire,
come back here, fix it
on, and be on your way.
Bit of luck, you'll probably
be in London late tomorrow night.
Meantime, I'll have
talked to George and Richie,
calmed them down.
Time you get one, you won't have
a thing to worry about.
And what if it don't
all go that simple, huh?
What then?
You got any better ideas, Duke?
See you in London.
Hey, mate?
On your own.
How much was it?
Why?
You gonna offer to pay for half?
I was just wondering
if we had enough
for the tire and the petrol.
Tank's full already.
I got enough.
What happens if you
don't get there on time?
What kind of a question is that?
I was just asking.
What do you mean
you was just asking?
They'd count you
out, wouldn't they?
I mean, it's not like
that's all you ever do,
go around robbing banks...
Armored trucks.
You'd probably just give it up.
You'd probably just
forget all about it
and go and do something else.
Is that what you're
saying that I should do?
Forget it?
What if I was?
Well, then I'd say you
had one hell of a nerve.
Let me set you straight
on a few things.
I haven't had much
of a life, see?
But six months ago,
things started to change for me.
I hitched a ride in
a freighter and wound
up in a place called England.
Pretty soon, I'm
working on the docks,
and I'm drinking
beer in the pubs
and thinking about
bobs and quids
instead of dimes and dollars.
And I meet this guy Smiley.
He's from London, he says.
He's a guy like me.
He's got plans for himself.
One day, Smiley
comes over to me,
and he says, Duke,
all we got to do
is a little of this and
that for one day only,
and we'll have
more money than we
can count in an entire month.
So for about a minute,
I think it over.
It's a risk.
It's chancy.
I could end up in a cell
for 10 years, maybe.
Maybe forever.
Maybe even dead and
5,000 miles from home.
But it's like I was
telling you before.
If you want something
bad enough, you go out
and you can get it.
So here it is, Friday night.
And in 48 hours, I'm
going out and I'm getting it,
and I'm gonna start counting.
And that's the way it is.
So which side of
the bed you want?
The cold and the lumpy side?
Or mine?
Do you have to walk so fast?
What's the matter?
I wear you last night?
I'd just like to know
where you're rushing to.
Another bus leaves
town about 6:00 tonight.
Guy at the hotel told me.
What good does that do?
Get me to London
tomorrow by noon.
I'd like to know how you plan
to pay for the ticket.
I'll manage.
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
I suppose you've done this
sort of thing before?
Of course.
Yes, and I'm the
queen of the fairies.
You calling us a liar?
How much does she weigh?
7 and 1/2 stone.
Wet or dry?
Hey, you always
talk smart like that?
Look, I've got a business to run, dear boy.
How do you think my customers are
going to feel after paying
their hard-earned
money to see the show,
and it's all over 10 seconds after
she steps into the ring?
Hey, who says it's
all gonna be over?
Mathematics says so.
Nothing more personal than that.
She weighs 7 and 1/2 stone.
Amazon weighs 14.
You ever heard of
David and Goliath?
Ever heard of manslaughter?
Look, I'm the one that's gonna
get killed, right?
So it's my worry, not yours.
- Right.
- All right.
If you want it so bad, 1pound
if she lasts for three
minutes, 5 if she wins.
Now, we supply the costume,
and we pay for the cleaning.
What's the name?
Rosie.
Rosie what?
Murdering Rosie!
And introducing the female Goliath
of the wrestling world,
tipping the scales at 14
stone, South American's
most famous export
since the invention
of coffee, the Amazon Lady!
Hey, this isn't
gonna be a fight!
It's a bloody massacre!
No fists, no hair pulling, no eye
gouging, no nose pulling.
Back to your corner
and wait for the bell.
Come on, Rosie!
Get up!
Give her a bit of her own bath.
I'm betting on you, Rosie.
You bargained for it, dear boy.
And you got it.
So don't come screaming at me.
Stop!
Stop this now!
Stop this!
Stop this now!
You think we should stop 'em?
Well, be sort of a shame.
What do you say, George?
I don't know.
Somebody in there
is gonna pay for that!
That's enough!
They know we're here!
Who does?
Those two!
Those two coppers!
Stop in the name of the law!
Stop!
Stop!
Oh, get this tent open!
Hey, stop 'em!
Do you know how
to drive this thing?
It's all balance!
It's all balance!
When I go that way,
you lean that way!
When I go that way,
you lean that way!
Lean?
Please take my hand,
holding my love.
Give what you can if
you can give your love.
A voice from my heart
sings songs of its own.
I'm lost.
I'm alone.
It's something I've known.
But wait, there's still time.
This time, I'm the
words wishing you knew things I
have heard of love needing you.
A voice from her heart
sings songs of its own.
I'm lost.
I'm alone and long to be
shown the way to begin.
So please take my
hand, holding my love.
Give what you can.
You can give your love.
Howdy
What can I do for you?
Uh, have you got a George
Laroux and a Richie
Wilkie staying here?
Are you the bloke
they call Duke?
Yep.
Upstairs, second on the left.
You got another room
on the same floor?
Is she with you?
So?
Upstairs, second on the right.
Thanks.
We'll carry our own bags.
I'll tell those guys I'm here.
I'd better go down and ditch that
bike before some nosy cop
starts getting wise to
it and asking questions.
Why don't you get
some sleep, huh?
When will you be back?
I won't be, not for awhile,
not till it's all over.
What if you get caught?
Nobody's getting caught.
You think these
guys are amateurs?
They've been planning
this thing for months.
Nobody can be that certain.
Now, look, I, uh...
I don't have the time
to stand around here
arguing with you about
something that you
don't know nothing about.
I won't be here
when you get back.
What?
I said I won't be here when you
get back, not if you
go ahead with what
you're planning to do.
Why the hell did you wait
till now to tell me?
I was hoping you'd
change your mind.
Now, now wait... wait a minute.
Just wait a minute now.
Now, I... I didn't
think we were...
I never figured us to
be Romeo and Juliet.
But we got something, right?
Huh?
Not this way, we don't.
Not this way?
What way, then?
I'm asking you what way?
What have I been
talking my guts out for?
What have I been trying
to tell you every day
and every night
for the past week?
I don't know.
What have you been
trying to tell me?
You don't know?
No!
What do I have to do to get
it through your head?
Just tell me, and I'll do it!
My whole life,
everything, none of it
means... makes any sense without what's
gonna happen tomorrow.
Can't you understand that yet?
You think that I...
That I'd finally make it
here and get everything set up,
I'm just gonna
walk away from it?
Is that what you think?
You've got got to be nuts!
You know that?
I mean, what are you
telling me I should do?
Are you saying I
should go out and...
And get a job shoveling cow pies in
some farm for 2 bits a day?
Is that it?
Is that what I
should swamp a chance
on making a million bucks?
Or maybe I ought
to manage Murdering
Rosie, lady mud wrestler, huh?
Oh, you think
that's all there is?
You think every time
somebody's down and out,
he should go out and
rob an armored truck?
No?
Well, then you tell me.
You tell me!
No!
The only thing I
have to tell you
is if that's the kind of
life you want, then you go out
and you have it.
But you're not gonna
have it with me.
Just tell me one
thing, will you?
What do you want, huh?
Is all you want the
kind of life that we've
been living the past week?
I didn't think it was so bad.
It's been nice
knowing you, Rosie.
Ah, you made it.
The old egg told
me downstairs you were here.
Well, you ready?
George and Richie want to
meet you, talk about the plans.
Where have you been,
to a fancy dress party?
Duke Turnbeau, this
is George Laroux.
And this gentleman
here is Richie Wilkie.
Pleased to me you, Duke.
Have a seat.
Don't believe in giving yourself
much time, hey, Duke?
Couldn't be helped.
Better late than
never, hey, George?
Better late than never.
Smiley tells us
this is the first time
you've done a job like this.
Is that right?
So?
So he's asking, that's all.
No, I never done a
job like this before.
But from what I hear
from Smiley, nobody has.
Yeah, that's true.Yeah.
First time in
history 10 maharajas
have been in this
country at one time.
Right, George?
You're not worried,
are you, Duke?
No, I'm not worried.
Are you?
Hey, you've got a chip on
your shoulder or what?
Just a bit edgy,
that's all, Richie.
He's been driving all
day and half the night.
Right, Duke?
What are you all of
a sudden, his keeper?
Look, let's just get
on with it, ok, Richie?
Yeah, go ahead.
I just never liked
no stranger walking in on me
with a chip on his shoulder.
Look, he's already said
it's his first time.
The guy's entitled
be a little edgy.
Wasn't you?
Edgy I can buy.
But nasty I got no use for.
We're talking about
a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
Silver Jubilee, a million
quid, 10 maharajas that
are gonna find
out tomorrow night
they don't even
have one bleeding
ruby to stick it their navels.
I think you're
the one who's nasty.
What?
I said I think you're
the one who's nasty.
Come on, Duke.
What's the matter with you?
No, no.
Wait.
I want to hear this.
Well, that all you got to say?
No, one more thing.
Count me out.
You quit now,
you're a dead pigeon.
No, I ain't.
The hell I am.
Just stop right
where you are, mate.
Do what he says, Duke.
He's got a gun.
All right.
Sit down.
It's his girl, Richie.
He's got himself a girl.
Oh, I should have seen
it coming two days ago.
She's got him all
twisted and turned.
He don't know his...
His ass from his elbow.
Oh, he'll be all right, though.
He'll be ok.
Yeah?
Is that right?
I said, is that right?
I said, I'm out.
No, no.
You ain't out.
Maybe you're dead,
but you ain't out.
Me and George and
Smiley here, we spent
two months planning this job.
Isn't that right, George?
You know it is, Richie.
Isn't that right, Smiley?
Is
Four's the magic number, Duke.
It ain't if one of 'em's dead.
Smiley?
Yeah, Richie?
Who's this dame?
Oh...
You keep her out
of this, Smiley.
Smiley?
Yeah, Richie.
She's upstairs.
Do you want me to get her?
Lay off her, Smiley.
Now you listen to me, lover boy.
Like it or not, you're
in this all the way.
George?
- Yeah, Richie.
Get the girl.
We're taking her with us.
Now!
And Smiley, you make sure your
friend her understands
one thing real good.
If he opens his mouth once more
or tries anything smart
or he mucks it up, his lady
friend gets it first.
Understand?
Understand, Smiley?
Yeah, Richie.
I understand.
Get out.
Keep your hands up
and your eyes down.
All right, now keep
moving off the road,
and don't turn around.
Give me the keys.
Shut your blazing mouth.
Get over there with the others.
Go on!
Get over there!
Come on, you!
Over here!
Move it!
Smiley, back it up.
Back it up.
You, get in there and
get it off the rails.
Duke?
Can you hear me?
What's the problem, Duke?
Can't get it started?
Duke!
Duke!
Hold it, hold it!
Duke.
Look, Duke, we're not gonna lose
it now we've got it all.
Look at the train, Duke.
Look at the train!
What does he want? Ask him what he wants!
A bigger share?
Ok, he can have it!
Can you hear me?
You can have it!
All of it!
Just get it off those rails!
Get the girl.
He said he wants the girl!
What, has he gone crazy?
Does he think I'm gonna give him
the girl so he can take her
and the money, as well?
Never.
Not on your stinking life! Never!
Never!
Never!
Take it easy!
Take it easy!
You're gonna lose it all!
Look, you got to
take a chance, mate,
or you're gonna lose it all!
Believe me!
Christ, he ain't
gonna stay in there!
Is it worth a million
quid to find out?
Ok, ok.
Get the girl.
Bring her over here!
Make it fast, you understand?
You see this, Duke?
You see this?
It's your move now, lover boy.
And if you move wrong, I swear to
Christ, I'll put one in her!
All right, now move it off.- Let her go.
What?
I said let her go!
I'll kill her right now!
Let's do as he says, Richie.
We've got no other choice.
Yeah?
And what if he makes
off with all of it?
Do what you want.
But do something!
We haven't got
any time to argue!
All right.
Let her loose.
Duke!
Now move back!
Go on, move back!
More!
Come on!
Duke, move!
Duke!
Nice day, sir.
Rosie!
Rosie!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa.
Whoa.
Whoa, look out!
Look out!
Look out!
Look out!
Whoa!
Maybe we'll talk it over.
A risk that I might
bore her hearing
that same old tired line.
And If she won't believe me,
she'll never let me know
'cause she's a friend of mine.
Whoa, I may be corny.
Still, she won't ignore me,
laughing and passing the time.
And if I don't deserve
her, she always stays
around to be a friend of mine.
She always cries when I bring her
home some flowers, yeah.
Then she smiles for
an hour or more.
And if it should seem
I'm tired and angry,
she'll pretend it
never happened before.
No, I can't deny her these things
I buy her, spending
my last two shiny dimes.
I may always be a poor
man, but why should
I care when she's
a friend of mine.
Oh, she's a friend.
Yes, she is.
She's a friend of mine.
She's a friend.
Yes, she is, yeah.
She's a friend of mine.
She's a friend.
Yes she is, yeah.
She's a friend of mine.