...no introduction...
and a true American,
the people's hero...
Randy "The Ram"...
Robinson!
And the Ram is up immediately...
throwing haymakers and a pile driver!
Here tonight on August 1, 1984,
mark it down,
Randy "The Ram" Robinson-
...18,500 fans in the nation's capital.
- They want to see the Ram Jam!
- Well, I'm frustrated
And outdated
- Ram Jam! Ram Jam! Ram Jam!
- I really wanna be overrated
I'm a finder and I'm a keeper
I'm not a loser
I ain't no weeper
March 23, 1988,
and Randy "The Ram" Robinson...
set to do battle with the Ayatollah.
...slapping the Ram in his face.
He doesn't realize...
what this can do to motivate
Randy "The Ram" Robinson.
Pounding the vice.
And it could be time for Ram Jam.
Bang your head
- The horns are out!
- The horns are out!
Metal health will drive you mad
Bang your head
...of the Middle East,
the Ayatollah!
Metal health will drive you mad
The Ayatollah will not let go.
He is punishing the Ram.
My goodness. How much can this man take?
The Ram right where we have seen him
so many times before...
playing right to this sold-out
Madison Square Garden.
The horns are out. Here it comes.
Ram Jam! My goodness!
One, two, three!
It's over!
That's one for the ages.
April 6, 1989...
will forever go down
in professional wrestling history.
Oh.
Great show, Ram.
You really put them over.
Here you go.
Sorry. I was sure the gate'd be bigger.
But don't forget.
Two months. Rahway. Legend signing.
I need you, man.
Yo, Ram.
Think you could, uh,
sign this for me?
- Sure.
- Thanks a lot, man.
My first match ever was you
versus Davey Diamond at the Spectrum.
- Thanks a lot.
- Oh, yeah.
- 1985.
- That was a good one.
Yeah. You were awesome.
- Appreciate it, bro. There you go.
- Thanks. Thanks, Ram.
Nice guy, don't you think?
Over, baby
Take some time
Let me know
If you really want to go
Don't know what you got till it's
Oh.
Oh, shit.
Lenny.
Lenny.
Come on, Lenny.
Open up.
Goddamn it, Lenny.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Ram!
- Ram!
- Wake up! Ram!
- Ram!
- Come on! Ram! Wake up!
- Open up!
- Ram!
- Wake up!
- Wake up! Wake up!
- Ram!
- Wake up!
Who woke me up?
Choke slam!
- One more!
- Come on, Ram!
I'll see you maniacs in a little while.
- All right? I'll be back.
- Aw! Ram Jam! Ram Jam!
I'll be back.
- I ain't going anyplace.
- Ram Jam! Ram Jam! Ram Jam!
- Lenny.
- Yeah.
Lenny, why are you doing this to me?
- You'll get in when I get my money.
- Aw, come on, Lenny.
You know I'm always good for it.
Yeah, you're always good for it
every time this happens.
Come on, brother. My back went out.
Let me just at least get my ice packs.
- I cannot help you.
- Come on, man.
Oh, God.
Do you need extra protein
without the extra calories?
...to the front, please.
Rafael-
Hey, Rafael!
- Hey, Wayne, you got a second?
- Not really. Why?
Well, I was wondering
if you could throw me some more hours.
What's the matter?
Did they raise the price of tights?
Funny.
Let's see what we got.
Weekdays.
I'm busy on the weekends.
Whoa. Hey. Hey.
- You know the boys.
- What's up, Ram?
- Hey. What's up?
- Good to see you.
Hey, bro. Look at you.
You're all diesel, man. How you doing, brother?
- Good to see you, man.
- Okay. Right here, you can change.
- All right, man.
- I want my money.
There you go.
All right, guys. Listen up.
All right.
S.L.G., where are you?
- You're up first against T.D.S.
- Thank you.
Second, we got Havoc and Cobian
versus Billy the Kid and Lex Lethal.
- Yo, I got you tonight.
- Third, Sabian versus Devon Moore.
Fourth, Judas the Traitor versus Rob Eckos.
Intermission.
Fifth, Kevin Matthews versus Inferno.
Sixth, we got Sugga and DJ Hyde
versus the Funky Samoans.
Seventh, Paul E. Normous and Andy Anderson
versus Jim Powers and Papadon.
And last but not least,
for the strap...
we got Tommy Rotten versus Randy the Ram.
All right. You guys got it?
- Yep.
- Got it.
- All right. Let's do this. Have a good time.
- All right.
Hey, Ram.
Hey, there.
How you doing, man?
Hey. Tommy.
We're gonna be working tonight.
I know you, Tommy. I saw you out in, uh,
Pennsylvania a couple months ago.
- Allentown.
- You were really good. You really brought it.
- Thank you. Thank you.
- Keep working, man.
You know, people who drive the Cadillacs...
the ones with the politics,
they run the show.
- It ain't about ability, so you just hang in there.
- Yeah, I know, I know.
- All right.
- But, uh, as far as tonight...
I don't know what you wanna do.
I had a few ideas. I was thinking,
you know, maybe just for the heat...
- I would give you a low blow, follow it up with a bulldog.
- Just bring the cheap heat, bro.
- You guys should get the heat on us right away.
- All right.
Keep the heat on us, beat the shit out of us.
Boom, boom, boom, boom.
We'll come up, we'll get on the ropes.
- You guys bring us both in the hard way.
- Okay.
Then we get up, double dropkick,
we powder out again.
All right.
So we're gonna really milk it tonight.
- We're gonna milk it. Nice and slow, old-school, easy.
- Old-school.
Don't work his leg, man.
That's- Everybody does that.
- Work his neck. Work his neck.
- No, no. We working the neck.
- You're working the neck?
- I already got the leg.
- All right. You guys got the leg?
- Leg or neck. What you got?
- Maybe make your comeback right off there.
- Bang off the ropes...
then super kick and, uh, Ram Jam...
and we go have a beer, okay?
- That sounds great, man.
- You hang in there. You got a lot of ability.
- All right. All right.
- Okay?
- Right.
- Thank you.
Bless you.
...Randy "The Ram" Robinson!
Yo, Ram!
Yeah! Come on, Ram!
You're the man!
Ram Jam! Ram Jam!
Ram Jam!
Come on! Come on!
You all right, Ram?
Ram, you all right?
- I'm gonna rip his arm off!
- You want me to stop it?
- Check him, ref!
- You want me to stop it?
Are you sure?
Come on.
I'll give you something to boo about!
- Ram Jam! Ram Jam!
- Yeah!
Ram Jam! Ram Jam!
You still suck!
You still suck!
You still suck!
You still suck!
You still suck!
You still suck!
Come on! Get up!
Is that what you want to see?
Come here, you fat piece of crap!
Get out there with the rest of the party!
I'm coming out there, and I'll beat the hell
out of each and every one of you!
You know who you're dealing with?
I will destroy you people!
Shut the hell up!
That's it, old man!
Ram Jam! Ram Jam! Ram Jam!
Ram Jam! Ram Jam! Ram Jam!
Yeah.
Huh?
Ram Jam! Ram Jam!
Ram Jam! Ram Jam! Ram Jam!
Ram Jam! Ram Jam!
One, two, three!
Ladies and gentlemen,
here is your winner...
Randy "The Ram" Robinson!
Ram, you really popped that crowd.
- I'm just gonna glue this up, okay?
- Yep.
Yo, Ram, you got a sec?
Come on in.
You realize what's coming up?
- Huh?
- April 6.
Twentieth anniversary of you
and Ayatollah at the Garden.
- I know. Hey. Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
- Long time ago.
- Time fucking flies, right?
Here's what I'm thinkin'.
Two words: Re... match.
Okay, Ram.
You're all set.
We're doing this big Fanfest thing down in Wilmington
with Ring of Honor that weekend.
I wanna main event it with you two guys.
"Ram, Ayatollah II."
Hey. I heard Bob was doing really good
with his used car lot out in Arizona.
- I don't know if he's gonna- You know.
- Come on. For this?
Bob's gonna dust off the old turban.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Hey, bring it.
- Okay.
Hey.
- That's for Ram!
- Ram!
- Good stuff. Good stuff.
- Good stuff. Just like the old days.
Come on, guys.
Let's all go take a shower together.
What's up, Ram?
How you doing?
- What's up, Big Chris? What's shaking?
- I'm all right.
Yo, baby, you still got that hookup
with that quack at your gym? The juice head?
- What do you need?
- Yo, my back is killing me.
Vicodin, Perc, Nubain, whatever he's got.
- Come by the mansion in a couple of days, I'll hook you up.
- You the man, Ram. You the man.
Grab some. Yeah.
- Hey, Ruby. How you doing, baby?
- Hey, Ram. How's it goin'
- I'll take a cold one.
- All right.
There you go.
- Cassidy around?
- I think she's working the V.I.P.
Yeah, thank you.
I got a question, if you can answer this
I got a question
Trust me, baby.
You're gonna be so happy.
I'm sorry, sweetie.
We said the other girl.
Yeah, the blonde girl with the belly chain.
Yeah, the other girl.
- Well, yeah, but she's on break.
- I'm sorry, but we really don't want you.
- How old are you anyway?
- Oh, you're like my mom's age.
Hey. There's nothing like experience.
I do things your fiance's
never even dreamed of doing.
Yeah, like graduate in 1985!
Hey, hey. You girls are being
a little rude to the lady.
- How about an apology?
- Who the fuck are you, man?
Don't talk to the lady like that.
- I'll talk to her like I wanna talk to her.
- No, it's okay. Thanks.
- You don't need to be talking to her like that.
- It's cool. I got it.
- I got it. It's all right, guys.
- No. Let me tell you something.
I guarantee you,
this lady's a hundred times hotter...
than any skank-ass pussy
you're gonna be marrying.
- What the fuck? That's my fucking sister.
- What you say?
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
Are you fucking kidding me?
Are you kidding me?
- Fucker.
- See you soon.
200 fuckin' bucks walked out.
Hey, I'm just trying to help.
Oh, come on.
They were punks.
- You!
- Hey. Whoa. Easy there.
I'm sorry.
I'm better-looking than them anyway.
I didn't mean to piss you off.
Come on.
Yeah? Okay.
- It's good to see you, Ram.
- Good to see you. Goddamn.
I haven't seen you in a while.
How you been?
Now, I'm telling you,
it was one of the historic matches in history.
It was 20,000 people.
Another million and a half
sitting at home watching it on pay-per-view.
We're slamming the piss out of each other.
I mean, for God knows how long.
We're both gassing.
You ask any wrestling fan,
they've heard about that one.
- Million and a half. Shit.
- Oh, yeah, it was big.
And a rematch?
Hey. This could be history all over again.
Goddamn, look at you.
You are one smoking baby. Mmm.
Let me make an honest woman out of you.
Hmm?
I mean, who knows?
I'm in pretty good shape right now.
You know, with a little luck,
this could be my ticket back on top.
- You never know who's in that crowd.
- Yeah. Yeah.
That would be a dream.
Oh, Jesus. You're bleeding.
- Oh!
- Yeah, I got cut tonight.
Oh!
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, it's nothin'.
- They say wrestling's fake, huh?
- Fake? I'll show you fake.
Look at this.
1986, Denver Coliseum.
Billy Bob Banjo hit me with a two-by-four.
It had a loose nail in it,
split my bicep right the hell open.
- Mmm. Mmm.
- Look at that. I got a better one than that.
Take a look at this here.
1988, okay?
Orlando Civic Center.
Mr. Magnificent threw me over the top ropes.
I landed on my shoulder
and cracked my clavicle right in half.
Oh, my God.
Does it hurt?
Well, it hurts when I breathe, but, I mean,
you know, you hear the roar of the crowd...
you just- you motor through, you know?
"He was pierced for our transgressions.
"He was crushed for our iniquities.
"The punishment that brought us peace
was upon him...
and by his wounds we were healed. "
Hmm. What was that all about?
It's The Passion of the Christ.
You have the same hair.
- You never seen it?
- No.
Dude, you gotta!
It's- It's amazing.
- They throw everything at him- whips, arrows, rocks.
- Hmm.
They beat the living fuck out of him
the whole two hours, and...
- he just takes it.
- Hmm.
Tough dude.
Sacrificial Ram.
Next on the main stage will be Cassidy-
- Aw.
- with Harmony on the small stage.
Aw, fuck.
- Gotta go.
- Where you going?
What do I owe ya?
- That's 60.
- Sixty.
- Keep the change.
- Thank you.
Goddamn.
...to the stage, the lovely Cassidy!
Don't throw it all away
Baby
I'm beggin' you, please
Don't walk away
Bottle of Anadrol, 250.
Bottle of E.Q., 75 bucks.
Two bottles of tren,
$75 each- a buck, 50.
Bottle of insulin, 100 bucks.
You got four boxes of Sustanon.
There's three amps in a box,
$30 on a box- a buck, 20.
A bottle of DBOL, 100 bucks. For your bitch tits,
I got you a bottle of Arimidex, 200 bucks.
All together, 995.
I know you only got 400. Give me the 400.
- I know you're good for the rest.
- Got any G.H.?
Got Chinese and I got Serostim.
I don't want any of that Chinese stuff.
You're my boy, Ram.
- I'll hook you up, all right?
- Okay.
You gotta take the bacteriostatic water
with it too.
It makes the growth last longer.
Need anything else?
Painkillers? Vics? Percs?
- No, bro. I'm tapped.
- Demerol?
- OxyContins? You sure?
- No, this'll do me.
- Viagra? Maybe some blow?
- No.
- Got it all, man. Whatever you need, you know.
- Opened up a pharmacy, brother.
- You're my man. I gotta look out for you.
- Yeah, I'm square.
Just need the juice,
and you're all right, then, right?
- I'm just gonna get big and strong.
- Yes, you are, my friend.
- Okay.
- All right? Anytime, man.
- You're looking good, brother.
- I'm trying, baby. I'm trying.
- Show me what you got there.
- Ah, come on, man. Come on.
- Show me what you got.
- Just a little something. There's not much there, baby.
- Come on.
- Bring it up. Bring it up. Look at that motherfucker.
- Okay, right up there. See? What you're doing right there.
- Mm-hmm.
Don't- Don't leave the foils on too long,
because last time they broke off.
I think they got too fried.
Yeah. I got it.
So, how's the old man doing these days?
Yeah?
- Work, work, work.
- Work, work, work. Well, hey.
Hmm. At least he's got a job, right?
- Hey, Gloria. How you doin'
- Hey, babe. Five's open.
- Thanks again for the lift, bro.
- You got it.
Here you go.
Lay it on, brother. Lay it on.
- Like- Like-
- There you go.
You're supposed to fall to your knees.
- Ooh.
- All right. Good.
- Where's the bug spray in here? Huh?
- Lane six on the right side.
- The right side, bottom.
- Right side, bug spray.
- Hmm?
- Go ahead. Once more.
- Now give it to me, brother.
- All right, man.
Fuck. Come on. Let's-
- Couple mousetraps?
- Load 'em and set 'em in the ring, body slam.
Hmm. Let's do it.
- How you doing, sir?
- How you doing?
- What's going on, my man?
- Tell me, what do you think? What do you think about this?
Huh?
- That'll work.
- Okay.
Come here.
Ah!
- I don't look good, but I feel good.
- Yeah.
So, my- my knees, my back,
anything you need me to do, sir.
Just maybe, uh,
keep the running to a minimum.
Like maybe I can hit the ropes once, take a bump for you,
but, like, no crisscrossing, please.
This hard-core stuff. What do you-
Talk to me about it. What do you wanna do tonight?
Well, are you cool with the staples?
- Staples?
- Staple gun.
- What do you mean?
- Like... staple gun.
- Staple gun.
- Yeah. You never did it before?
- Uh, no. Does that hurt?
- Silly question, but yeah.
- Man, uh, not so bad going in.
- Yeah.
Kind of scary. You know,
you got a big metal thing up against you, but...
pulling them out, they're gonna leave a couple little holes,
a little bit of blood loss there.
- Rock and roll.
- Thank you, sir. It's an honor. Thank you.
- Take it easy with that staple gun.
- No problem, sir.
Dead! You're so dead!
You're so dead!
You're so dead!
One, two, three!
Ladies and gentlemen,
your winner, the legend...
Randy "The Ram" Robinson!
Bang your head
Ram Jam! Ram Jam!
Ram Jam! Ram Jam!
Ram Jam! Ram Jam! Ram Jam!
Ram Jam! Ram Jam!
Great show, Ram.
Great job.
There he is.
Hell of a match out there, man.
Hell of a match.
- Thank you.
- Put yourself through hell, man. Great. Good work. Way to go.
- It was fucking insane, Ram.
- Let me just get some glue for that.
Crazy shit, man. Crazy.
Hey. You okay with that table hit?
- I'll live, sir. I'll live.
- Yeah. Okay.
Ram Jam! Ram Jam!
Ram Jam! Ram Jam! Ram Jam!
Ah, shit.
- Got a lot of staples. We gotta take 'em out.
- Fuck it. Take it easy, Doc.
- Hold still.
- Ow!
Goddamn it.
You sick fuck! You sick fuck!
You sick fuck!
You sick fuck! You sick fuck!
It's dinnertime!
Oh, fuck!
Goddamn it!
Yeah! Yeah! Hit him!
Yeah, get him!
Yeah!
- Ram!
- Yeah! Use his leg!
Ram, use my leg!
Use it! Use my leg!
Use his leg! Use his leg!
- Come on! Use my leg!
- Use his leg! Use his leg!
- Yeah! Yeah!
- Use his leg! Use his leg!
Use his leg! Use his leg!
Yeah! Yeah!
Fuck you, Necro! Fuck you!
Okay. Let me get this out.
This is in there pretty good, Ram.
Ah, fuck.
I'm gonna kill him!
Yeah.
- You're good?
- Yeah.
I'm almost done.
Fuck you, Necro!
You're so dead! You're so dead!
You're so dead!
You're so dead!
Okay, Ram. You're good.
Go take a shower.
Good work, man.
I think we did what we wanted to do.
No, first time, coming off-
Way over.
Ram. Ram!
Try and relax.
Just try and relax.
Marlene, can I have some help in here, please?
Put your arms down.
Okay, try and relax. Calm down.
Okay, just relax.
Okay. Very good. Okay.
Calm down.
- Okay. Thanks, Marlene.
- Okay.
- Ah, fuck.
- Mr. Ramzinski?
Call me Randy.
Randy, I'm Dr. Moayedizadeh.
So, how's it all looking?
Well, much better than before the bypass.
Oh. So, we're in the clear?
We're all good?
Well, it's your heart.
You need to start taking better care of it.
Like how?
What do I do?
Well, for starters,
you're going to be on a slew of medications.
And the stuff that you're putting in your body-
you need to cut it out.
I know. I know. I can-
I can- I can do without that.
When can I, uh,
get back in the gym and, uh...
start working out?
As far as exercise goes, it's still okay,
as long as it's moderate.
Doc, I'm a professional wrestler.
That's not a good idea.
Well, what do you mean?
Well, your heart has been through a lot.
It won't be able to handle
a strenuous activity.
Well, I can slow my routine down.
I can- I can just pace myself.
- Mr. Ramzinski-
- Randy. Call me Randy.
Randy, you almost died.
Next time, you might not be so lucky.
Well, hey, Doc.
Thanks for all the good news.
This copy's for you.
And somebody left this for you.
He said he was your promoter.
Robin Ramzinski, come to the pharmacy.
- Your prescription's ready.
- Oh.
- Robin Ramzinski?
- Randy.
Just sign here, please.
Thank you.
Here you go.
My money.
One, two, three, four, five-
Welcome home.
Oh, shit.
Ooh.
Hey, Adam!
- You wanna play Nintendo?
- All right.
Okay.
Let's see what you got there.
- All right. Here comes the Ayatollah.
- Shaking in my boots.
- Here we go. Come on.
- So, you hear about Call of Duty 4?
Did I what?
- Call of Duty 4?
- What?
- Call of Duty 4.
- Call "It" Duty 4?
- Call of Duty 4.
- Call of Duty 4?
- Yeah. It's pretty cool, actually.
- Really?
This game is so old.
- Wh-What's it about?
- It's a war game. Most all the other Call of Duties-
they were, like, based on World War II,
but this one's with Iraq.
- Oh, yeah?
- And- Yeah.
You switch off between a Marine...
and an "S" and "S" British special operative...
- so it's pretty cool.
- Wow.
Hold on. All right. Hold on.
There we go.
All right. Here- There! There it is!
Ram Jam! You're finished.
- Okay, one more.
- I gotta go.
- Huh?
- I- I gotta leave.
- I just gave you an ass-whipping. Don't you wanna get even?
- Nah, that's okay.
- All right.
- I- I'll catch you later, all right?
All right.
See you later, man.
- Do your push-ups, brother.
- All right.
Oh, fuck.
- Hey!
- Hey.
Ram man!
Been a while.
- Hmm.
- Hi.
Yeah, I was in the neighborhood,
thought maybe we could go grab a- a hamburger.
I'm working.
Okay. You know, maybe later.
You okay?
- Could we talk for a second?
- Sure.
Sure. What's up?
What's up?
No, I mean somewhere quiet, not-
Randy-
I can't leave with a customer, you know.
Listen. I had a heart attack.
I know.
- Where you parked?
- Out in the back.
Good. Go to your car.
I'll meet you out there in 15 minutes.
So, they're just fucking,
or what's the story?
You know what?
I'm gonna- I'm gonna go on break.
- I need a cigarette. I can't quit.
- Okay.
- Hey.
- Thanks. I appreciate it.
No, it's okay.
- When was it?
- Uh, a couple weeks ago.
Oh. How are you feeling?
Oh. I don't feel like Hercules.
- What happened?
- I just-
I was walking in the dressing room,
and the guys told me I just...
dropped like a brick, and, you know,
I don't remember nothin'.
Now the doctors tell me, uh...
that I can't-
that I can't wrestle no more.
What are you gonna do?
You know, it just don't feel... right.
And that's why-
That's why I wanted to talk to you, you know.
'Cause I don't want to be alone.
Randy.
You should be with your family now.
Don't you have a daughter?
Where's your daughter?
Uh, my daughter-
she don't like me very much.
I don't believe it.
Everybody needs a father...
and... trust me...
this kind of thing brings people together.
Ah-
You should call her.
I should go back in.
You're gonna be okay, huh?
- I'll be okay.
- Okay.
Stephanie.
Hi, this is Stephanie.
Leave a message.
Ah-
Man.
Oh. Uh, is, uh, Stephanie home?
- Who can I say it is?
- Uh, tell her it's her father.
Hey. Stephanie.
- Where you goin'?
- What do you want?
Well, I just- I have to talk to you.
I can't really talk right now.
- I really need to talk to you.
- I have school.
- You're going to school?
- Yeah.
Well, that's great.
Listen. I had a heart attack...
and I just thought I needed to tell you.
You are such an asshole.
What do you want from me?
What do you want?
I just been alone, and, uh...
you're my daughter, and I love you,
and I just- I just needed to see you.
That's bullshit.
You want me to take care of you.
- No.
- Yes.
Well, I'm not gonna do that.
'Cause where the fuck were you
when I needed you to take care of me?
You know, on all my birthdays...
which you never even made one.
You probably don't even know when it is.
So, you know what?
No. I don't care if you had a heart attack. Fuck you!
- Oh! Ram.
- Hey.
- Didn't think I'd see you here.
- Why not?
- Hey.
- Hey.
I heard you collapsed at the DiFusco show.
Ah, man, I just overheated and blacked out.
That's all.
- Really?
- Yeah, I was out of the hospital in less than an hour.
- So, you're fine?
- Brother, I'm good to go.
That's excellent!
I was just gonna cancel the minivan.
- What minivan?
- I rented one for Fanfest.
Yeah, m-me and the whole gang's driving down.
Terry C., Caggiano, Fatback.
Oh, I'm so fucking psyched!
Volpe gave me an assload offlyers.
Yeah. It's gonna be epic.
Volpe said the scout from the show
was gonna be there.
- Uh-
- Twenty years in the making.
- It's gonna be something.
- Yeah. Come on. I got you set up down here.
- Hey, bro.
- Hey. What's going on, bro?
So, uh, yeah.
Should get a pretty good crowd today.
Oh. Great.
I'll, uh- I'll loosen up.
All right.
- Hey, my man. How you doing, big guy? Good to see you. Wow.
- Haven't seen you in a while.
- Smile.
- Who makes your T-shirts?
I like your T-shirts.
- How much for an autograph?
- Ten dollars.
- Ram. Been a big fan of yours for years.
- Hey. How you doin', brother?
- It's really great to meet you. Can I get a Polaroid?
- All right. Absolutely.
Okay. Ready, guys?
Ram!
- What's your name again?
- Evan.
- Evan. E- E-V-
- E-V-A-N.
- One, two, Ram!
- There we go.
Okay, it's eight.
There you go, Matthew.
- Here you go.
- Yeah, hold on.
Well, no. It's $30.
You gotta get the VHS.
I'll give you the VHS.
Hi, I'm Cassidy.
- Henry.
- Nice to meet you. Where you from?
- Garfield.
- Yeah?
How you doing tonight?
- Okay.
- Mm-hmm?
How about a private dance,
make you feel a little better?
- Mmm, no, not tonight.
- No, Henry?
- No.
- No? Okay.
And don't forget Tuesday night is-
Is how you dance
You're up to no-
Nah.
On the main stage, the exotic-
Hey. Hey, you.
Hey. When'd you get here?
- I just flew in.
- You did?
- How you been feeling?
- I'm feeling good.
- A lot better.
- Good.
And I took your advice.
I went and saw my daughter.
Yeah? How did that go?
Uh, it didn't go very well.
She sort of ripped me a new asshole.
Oh. Oh.
Sorry to hear that.
Oh, hey.
What are you gonna do?
Oh, just-
Maybe if I went out
and did something special, you know?
- Bought her a present.
- That's a really great idea.
- Well-
- What's she into?
Hmm. Yeah, I don't really-
You know.
What kind of music does she like?
I really don't know.
Well, is she into something else,
like, well, cooking or books or something?
Oh.
- I don't know.
- Okay. Well...
you should get her clothes,
like some kind of clothes.
- All girls like that. Yeah.
- Yeah?
- Okay. Sounds good.
- Hey. I know the right place.
It's this kick-ass little vintage shop in Elizabeth.
- Ah.
- I think it's on Elizabeth Avenue.
You should go on Saturday.
That's when they get all the best shit.
Hey, thanks.
Thanks a lot.
You want a dance?
I don't think I'm quite ready for that yet.
Okay.
We about to blow, oh
Now they callin' me Hollywood
Say what you want, hater
It's all good, yeah
No matter where I go
I can represent hood
Well, that was fast.
Listen. Why don't I meet you there on Saturday...
and, um- and help you pick something out?
- Wow. I'd like that a lot.
- Oh.
- 1:00?
- Yeah.
- All right.
- 1:00.
Yeah, 1:00.
Hey. Whoa.
Did you forget how to knock?
- No.
- Let's try that again, all right? I'm serious.
What do you want?
Well, I was wondering if I could get
some more work- something, uh...
- you know, steady, full-time.
- Ah, cell phone.
All I got is weekends.
Yeah, well, that works.
Isn't that when you sit on other dudes' faces?
- So, what do you got?
- Deli counter.
- Deli counter. Dealing with the customers and stuff?
- Yeah.
A parade of hot, horny housewives...
begging for your meat.
- You got anything else?
- No, I do not.
You interested?
Yeah. Sure.
- Hey!
- Hey.
Goddamn.
I almost didn't recognize you.
You look-
You look clean.
Clean?
No, I mean you look lovely.
Okay. Thanks.
Uh, listen. Should I call you, uh,
Pam or Cassidy or what?
- Pam.
- Pam.
Don't get used to it.
What is she?
Goth? Punk? Hippie?
- Preppy?
- Oh, man, I ain't got a clue.
Oh. Hey, Pam.
- Pam.
- Yeah. Mm-hmm?
Thank you.
I really appreciate this.
You're welcome.
Uh, listen.
I think Stephanie is, uh...
a lesbian.
Uh-huh?
Does that make a difference what she-
No.
- It's cool.
- I mean, or maybe it's all in my head. I don't know.
Oh, wow. What about this?
Look at this.
Got an "S" on it.
- Um-
- That looks perfect, huh?
Well-
I mean, it's winter, so maybe you want
something warmer, like a peacoat.
You got a point there.
- If you know her size.
- Yeah, that's pretty cool.
I don't know, man.
I think that's pretty rock and roll.
- What do you think?
- I-
You should go with your gut, man.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
You know, you look so goddamn pretty
in the daytime.
Hey, have a beer with me?
Uh, I gotta get going.
- One beer.
- I really-
I got a- I got a kid.
You have a kid?
Well.
- What do you have, a boy or girl?
- Boy. Jameson.
- So, how old?
- Nine.
Wow. Hmm.
Who would figure, huh?
Well, it's not something
I usually tell the customers.
It's not exactly-
It's not a turn-on.
Uh, hold on.
Wait a second.
I want you to give this to your little guy.
It's a-
It's a Randy the Ram action figure.
Tell him not to lose it.
It's a $300 collector's item.
- Really?
- No.
Come on. Hey, one beer.
Okay.
That's a great-looking kid you got there.
I think so.
Well, I can see where he got
his good looks from.
Yeah. Well, he doesn't get it from his father.
What's that?
Oh, that's this condo thing down in Trenton.
What are you thinking about,
moving there?
- Workin' on it. Yeah.
- Yeah?
Mm-hmm. Yeah, the schools are really awesome...
great neighborhood, and... cheaper.
What about your gig over at, uh, Cheeques?
Done. Quitting.
- Oh, wow.
- Yeah.
Whoa! Hell, yeah!
All right!
Come on, baby.
- Dance with me.
- Here?
- Yeah, right here. Come on.
- Uh-uh.
- Come on.
- I-I've danced to this plenty.
Okay. I'll dance for you then.
Here we go.
That's where we meet
- Think I can get you a shift.
- Hey, man, I need a job.
There we go.
Ooh! It's a lap dance I'm getting.
I knew right from the beginning
That you would end up winning
I knew right from the start
You'd put an arrow
Through my heart
Round and round
Yeah! Goddamn, they don't make 'em
like they used to.
- Fuckin' '80s, man. Best shit ever.
- Bet your ass, man.
- Guns N' Roses fuckin' rules.
- Cre.
- Yeah.
- Def Lep.
Then that Cobain pussy had to come around
and ruin it all.
Like there's something wrong
with wanting to have a good time.
I'll tell you something.
I hated the fuckin' '90s.
- Nineties fuckin' sucked.
- Nineties fuckin' sucked.
- Shit.
- What's the matter?
No contact with the customers.
I gotta go.
Hey. You said one beer.
- I did?
- Yeah.
Oh, okay.
I knew right from the beginning
That you would end up winning
I knew right
- From the start
- One beer.
You'd put an arrow through my heart
Round
Here you go.
Hey, bro.
This is supposed to say "Randy. "
I guess they got it off your W-4 or something.
So I really gotta wear one of these things?
No, you're special.
Well, uh, can you change it?
Just wear the fuckin' thing, all right?
Ah.
Oh, fuck.
Uh, here's your bologna, pal.
Eighteen.
Are- Are they all on sale,
or just the regular ones?
- The Hudson Acres. Uh-
- Well, it wasn't very clear.
- Let me check.
- Okay.
Wayne, to the deli counter.
It'll just be a minute.
Okay. So, uh, which, in your opinion,
is the best smoked ham?
- The best what?
- Smoked ham.
- Uh-
- Which?
I don't-
Smoked ham, I guess-
Uh, the maple-glazed is not bad.
- Breasts, thighs.
- Breasts, thighs.
- Small pieces.
- Right.
- Lock it up. Push start.
- Yes.
Forty-six.
- What would you like?
- Can I have a half a pound of pesto pasta salad?
Okay. Comin' up.
Half a pound of pesto pasta on the button.
- Can I get you anything else?
- No, that's it.
- You have a lovely day, darling.
- Thanks. You too.
Forty-seven.
- Let me get a eight-piece, uh, chicken.
- What kind of chicken you want?
I want a eight-piece.
That's two breasts.
- Give me two big breasts.
- Two big breasts, coming up.
That's what I want. Two big breasts.
Two big breasts-
Uh, something with a brain.
- And two wings? Yeah, stay away from them thighs.
- Yeah.
A lot of chicken flying out the door.
There you go, honey. Have a good day.
- Thank you. Have a good day.
- Who's next?
- Me.
- What you having, good-looking?
- Uh, half a pound of egg salad.
- Half a pound of egg salad, coming up.
- Here we go.
- Fresh?
- Fresh? Fresh as monkey's breath, brother.
- Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
This is the good stuff.
Comin' up.
Down and out. Come on.
It's the fourth quarter.
Come on. Come on. Come on.
There's 12 seconds left.
Go. Down and out. Here. Both hands.
Hey! Touchdown! Goddamn!
How about them Cowboys?
- What you having, spring chicken?
- Hi.
Okay.
- Hey, Migg, how you doing?
- Who is this?
- Yeah, it's the Ram.
- Hey, Ram. Good to hear from you. We gonna see you in two weeks?
- Yeah, sure. Yeah. Yeah.
- It's gonna be big. I got 12 calls already.
Listen, uh, you're gonna have to count me out of Utica.
What do you mean?
We've been selling tickets for a week!
Nah, I'm retiring.
- Hey, Frank, how you doin'
- Good, Ram. Good. How are you?
Nah, I'm good, man. I'm good.
Uh, listen.
Oh, come on. I'm sorry, Volpe.
You know I'd kill to do it.
- I already bought Bob's plane ticket.
- No, I realize. I understand.
- I think you're making a big mistake.
- Nah, no more. I am done.
- I'm retired.
- Yeah, I- I- I know.
Stephanie.
What, are you stalking me?
No. I, uh, brought you a present.
Go ahead. Open it.
The "S" stands for "Stephanie. "
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
Do you like it?
It's, uh-
It's shiny.
That's not really your present.
I got you something else.
Hold on.
This is your real present.
- It's a peacoat.
- Yeah. Well, it's wintertime...
and I want you to keep warm.
- Thank you.
- Hey, anything for you, sweetheart.
So what are you doing right now?
What am I doing?
You know, I thought maybe we could,
you know, stop by our old favorite place.
We have an old favorite place?
You'll recognize it when you see it.
Uh, now's not really the best time. I-
I got some stuff I gotta do.
What kind of stuff?
Just stuff.
Come on.
I'm not gonna, like-
I'm not gonna take a bite out of you or anything.
Just, you know,
hang out for a little while.
I haven't been here in ages.
You remember the fun house?
Right there.
Used to be the Monster Motel.
- Kinda.
- Oh, you loved it.
We used to go in there,
and they had this, uh, spooky-ass skeleton.
It would pop out of a coffin.
You'd get really scared and cry
and wanna run out.
And then- then you'd beg to go back in again.
Oh. Always was a glutton for punishment.
Yeah, you wouldn't go in
unless you could sit on my foot...
and wrap your arms around my leg.
And we'd walk all the way through like that.
Ah, I don't even remember that.
I do.
I just want to tell you.
I'm the one...
who was supposed to take care of everything.
I'm the one who was supposed
to make everything okay for everybody.
But it just didn't work out like that.
And I left.
I left you.
You never did anything wrong.
You know?
I used to try to-
Huh! Forget about you.
I used to try to pretend that...
you didn't exist.
But I can't.
You're my girl.
You're my little-
You're my little girl.
And now-
I'm an old, broken-down piece of meat.
And I'm alone.
And I deserve to be all alone.
I just don't want you to hate me.
Okay?
Hey.
Oh.
Oh, man, we can't go in there.
Come on.
Oh, God.
- Whoo, man. Wow.
- This must have been a ballroom or something.
Oh, look at this.
We can-
Hey, here we go.
- What is that?
- It's my bow to you.
Am I supposed to bow back?
I bow to you?
Ah.
One, two, three.
One, two, three. One, two, three.
You can lead.
You're not bad.
Well, thank you.
Hold on.
Wait.
Let me get the door.
Well, I hope that wasn't too painful for you.
- No, it was okay.
- Yeah, well-
Okay, uh, bye.
Bye.
Hey, maybe we could go out to dinner sometime.
- Dinner?
- You know, on Friday or something?
Whatever works for you.
Saturday would be better.
- Saturday?
- Yeah.
You got it.
Oh, wow.
Wow.
Hey, you there. Hey.
Come on. Open it.
I'll wait till later when it's quiet.
Oh, come on.
I want to watch your face when you read it.
Thank you.
That's very sweet.
Hey, thank you.
I mean, come on, baby. You saved my ass.
What?
I can't... do this.
Can't do what?
This.
I thought we had a little something
going on here.
No. W-Well- I- I think you're awesome.
I think that you're a great guy.
So what's the problem?
You think that I'm, like,
this stripper, and I'm not.
I'm a mom.
I have responsibilities.
I have a son.
Anyway, you don't want
that fuckin' luggage, so-
What if I do?
I can't go there.
- What about the other day?
- It was a mistake.
It didn't feel like a mistake to me.
The club and the real world-
they don't mix.
I don't know. I'll tell you,
I think that's a lot of bullshit...
because I think you still feel something.
You're a customer, okay? You're a fucking customer.
I don't go out with customers.
You got it?
Yeah, I got it.
Hey, can I have some tequila over here, please?
Sure.
I tell you what. Here.
- What's that?
- I want a dance.
Stop it.
What's the matter?
You gonna refuse a paying customer?
- I want a goddamn dance, sweetheart.
- Fuck you!
- Get up there and move your ass. Squeeze your titties together.
- Fuck off!
- Shake your fucking ass-
- Fuck you!
- Ram!
- And pretend you like me!
- Gimme a goddamn dance!
- Get the fuck outta here!
- Ram! Let's take it outside.
- Want a drink, my man?
No, I'm okay.
Oh, God.
- Ram! Hey, man. What's happening?
- Hey, Larry.
How ya doin' What are you doing here?
I thought you retired.
- I did. I just came to see the show.
- Well, come in.
Come on, man. Of course.
Straight in.
Ram! Ram!
Hey, what's up there?
I haven't seen you for a while.
All good?
Yeah!
One, two, three!
- Hey!
- Ram!
- You guys were great.
- What's up? Did you like it?
- Yeah, it was a hell of a show.
- Appreciate it, man.
- You were fast. You looked good.
- 'Cause of this guy, man.
- Nah, 'cause of this guy.
- Hey. What's important- they liked you.
- Exactly.
- They did. They loved it.
- So how you been, man?
- Well, hanging and swinging, brother.
- You swing. I get a couple drinks.
- Get a drink? You buying?
- I'll buy for you.
- Yeah, you buying.
Fifty even.
Oh. Thanks, Meliss.
- You know, I know who you are.
- Well, cheers.
Mmm.
My brother used to have your poster on his door.
Well, your brother's got good taste.
Yeah, it was a pretty hot picture.
So, what are you doing in our town of Rahway?
We did a show over at the rec center tonight.
Wrestling.
Wow. So you still wrestle?
- Still jumping off the top rope.
- Oh, wow.
That's hot.
So, uh, do you want to party?
Party?
What do you call party?
I don't know.
Party like a fireman party.
Oh, shit, that's speedy.
Oh!
Oh, get a fucking room.
Oh, yeah!
Oh.
Oh. Ooh.
Oh, fuck.
Oh.
Oh, God.
Oh, shit.
Oh, sh- Oh, shit!
Fuck!
Goddamn it!
Hey, uh, is Stephanie home?
Steph, guess who finally decided to show up.
Yeah, he's standing outside.
No, I don't want to do that.
I've seen you get stressed out. I don't want you to be stressed.
Let me get this asshole out.
- Just don't, don't say anything.
- Hey.
- Who said you could come in?
- What are you doing in here?
- I'm sorry, Stephanie. I'm so sorry.
- No, get the fuck out!
- I'm gonna handle this, okay? I can handle this.
- Obviously not.
- I can handle this!
- Oh, come on. I'm sorry I screwed this up.
- I'm so sorry.
- Wait. Don't worry.
- I just- You don't have to leave.
- I'll be back.
Fuck.
I waited in that restaurant for two hours-
Two fucking hours-
telling myself, "Maybe something happened.
Maybe he's stuck in traffic. "
But, no! You just keep doing the same shit to me
over and over again!
I know, and I apologize.
Look, I apologize.
I got a lot of stuff
swimming around in my head...
and I went out and had a drink,
and another drink, and I just spaced.
- That is tough shit!
- Goddamn it. Why do I do this to you?
Because you are a fuck-up!
You're a living, breathing fuck-up...
and I cannot fucking do it anymore!
I can't stand it! I can't fucking cry for you!
I can't fucking do it anymore!
I can't fucking-
- You are a fucking asshole!
- Calm down. Stop.
- You are an asshole! You're a fucking asshole!
- Calm down. Calm down.
- Go fuck yourself! Go fuck-
- Calm down. Calm down.
- Do not touch me! I fucking hate you!
- I'm sorry. I know.
- I fucking hate you!
- I know you hate me. I know you do.
I know you hate me.
- Calm down.
- You know what? I don't care.
I don't hate you.
I don't love you.
I don't even like you.
- And I was stupid to think that you could change.
- I can- I can change.
- I don't care.
- Come on.
There is no more fixing this.
It's broke. Permanently.
And I'm okay with that.
It's better.
I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
I don't ever want to see you again.
Look at me.
I don't want to see you.
I don't want to hear you.
I am done.
Do you understand?
Done.
Get out.
Twenty-seven.
Here. A pound of German potato salad, please.
Okay.
A little less.
Less.
A little less.
A little more.
Little more, little more.
Okay.
Hey, Stevie.
A little more.
A little less.
Little less.
Quarter pound of Swiss.
A little less.
At last.
What's with the line? Let's pick things up.
All right? It's rush hour.
Come on, people.
Let's pick it up. Where's Katie?
I'm here.
Oh, you're here.
You're at your job. Great.
Have a nice day, lady.
Go. Go, go, go.
Thirty-one.
Thirty-one.
Yeah, can I get-
- Do I know you from somewheres?
- No.
You just look so damn familiar.
- You Teamsters?
- What are you having?
Uh, can I get a half-pound of Virginia ham...
- half-pound of the Jarlsberg?
- Yeah.
I know I know you from someplace.
I don't know.
- You play softball?
- Nah.
And you're not one
of Mikey Bosch's buddies, right?
Never heard of the guy.
Wait a second.
Randy the Ram?
- No.
- The wrestler from the '80s?
- Ram Jam?
- No.
That's freaky.
- You look just like the dude.
- Yeah?
Except older.
Ah!
Ah! Ah! Goddamn it!
Blood!
Randy- Randy, there are customers!
- You little prick! You gonna talk to me the way you do? Huh?
- Randy!
I fucking quit!
- I quit. All right?
- What the fuck, man?
Want some fucking cheese, lady?
- Huh? Get your own fucking cheese!
- Fucking lunatic!
- Oh, fuck!
- Are you crazy?
Ah, fuck! I quit!
Goddamn it, I quit!
God- I'm out of here!
Ah, shit.
Ah, fuck.
Oh, Robin.
Robin. Robin, man.
It's Randy. Randy.
- Listen. I want to do it.
- You want to do what?
- I want back in. Fanfest.
- With Bob?
- Just tell him it's back on.
- I have no money to pay you.
Hey, man, I don't give a shit.
I just wanna wrestle. That's right.
Okay. You got it, brother.
Too many slaves in this world
Bondage is over the human race
They believe slaves always lose
And this fear keeps them down
Watch the damned
God bless ya
- They're gonna break their chains
- Hey
- No, you can't stop them
- God bless ya
They're coming to get you
And then you'll get your
- I want him in bed by 11:00. Okay? Yeah.
- 11:00.
I don't want him to bargain.
Hey. Bye, monkey.
Bounce back on the ropes,
flips him out to the stands!
Ali gets back up, kicks him!
Kick! Ah! Oh!
One, two, three.
You're out. Yeah!
Hi.
Hey.
How'd you find me?
- Big Chris.
- Big Chris?
- Cheeques bouncer.
- Right. Big Chris. Yeah.
Look, I'm- I'm- I know I came off
like a bitch the other day, and I'm really sorry.
I didn't mean all those things
that I said, 'cause-
You're not just another customer.
But, you know, at the same time,
I have this line...
and I just-
- I can't cross it.
- No, I understand that. That's okay.
- I gotta go.
- Where are you going?
- I got a match.
- A match?
It's in Wilmington.
Come by.
When is it? What?
Balls to the wall
Balls to the wall
You'll get your balls to the wall
Balls to the wall
You'll get your balls to the wall
Man
Phoenix is not out of the question.
- I'm taking over Arizona. You hear me?
- Looks like it.
Ram-a-lam!
- Hey, Bob.
- What's up, man?
Hey, Nigel. How you doing, brother?
Long time.
- Yeah, man.
- Feeling all right?
- Yeah. Hey, look out.
- Good to see you, bro.
- Yeah, look at you. Wow.
- You know what? I didn't think we were gonna do this.
Yeah. You and everybody else.
Sunday night, I get a call and they say,
"He's back in. It's on again. "
I'm like, "What?"
Listen, uh, when you get settled in,
you want to go over some of the things?
- What things?
- Some of the spots.
Okay. How's this right here?
I'm the heel and you're the face. Done.
Hey, Bob. I'm glad to see things haven't changed.
Yeah. I love you too.
Now, back to you. Listen.
What kind of car do you want, man?
- I don't know. Uh, something affordable.
- How about something pink?
You
Get me loose
I want ya
That's all I do
You
Leave me loose
I want ya
That's all I do
Make love to me right now
Cassidy. Come on, Cassidy.
Get back up there.
They're not done with you yet.
You left your shoes.
Cassidy. Cassidy!
Hey, Pam!
Pam.
Three more miles.
Three more miles.
Weighing in at 252 pounds-
- You ready to do this thing?
- I think so.
- The Beast of the Middle East-
- See you out there.
The Ayatollah!
- Hey, hey, hey. How much? How much? How much?
- Twenty dollars.
Which way's backstage?
This is backstage?
That's what he said, huh?
Randy.
- Hey.
- Oh. What are you doing here?
What the fuck are you doing?
I'm doing my thing.
I'm going to work.
- Yeah, but- but your heart.
- My heart?
My heart's still tickin'.
- Yeah, but the doctor said-
- Listen. I know what I'm doing.
And, you know, the only place I get hurt
is out there.
The world don't give a shit about me.
I'm here.
I'm really here.
- What do you call that?
- U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!
And his opponent, from Elizabeth,
New Jersey weighing in at-
- Hey.
- 225 pounds-
- You hear them? This is where I belong.
- a true wrestling immortal-
- Randy "The Ram"-
- I gotta go.
Robinson!
No, no, no. Randy! Randy!
She's got a smile that it seems to me
Reminds me of childhood memories
Where everything was as fresh
as the bright blue sky
Now and then when I see her face
She takes me away to that special place
And if I stare too long
I'd probably break down and cry
Whoa, whoa, whoa
Sweet child o'mine
Whoa, oh, oh, oh
Sweet love of mine
I just want to say...
to you all tonight...
I'm very grateful to be here.
A lot of people told me
that I'd never wrestle again.
And that's all I do.
You know, if you live hard,
and you play hard...
- and you burn the candle at both ends-
- Love you, Ram!
you pay the price for it.
You know, in this life
you can lose everything that you love...
and everything that loves you.
Now I don't hear as good as I used to...
and I forget stuff...
and I ain't as pretty as I used to be.
But goddamn it,
I'm still standing here, and I'm the Ram.
You know, as time goes by-
as time goes by, they say,
"He's washed up.
"He's finished. He's a loser.
He's all through. "
- But you know what?
- Twenty more years!
The only ones who are gonna tell me
when I'm through doing my thing...
is you people here.
You people here-
You people here are the ones...
who are worth bringing it for,
because you're my family.
I love all of you.
Thank you so much!
Great talk, Randy.
Thank you.
Yeah!
Pick it up, baby.
Take it easy! Ah!
- What are you doing? This is my move!
- Giving up?
Steal my move, Randy?
This is how you do it!
This is how you do it!
One, two, th-
Hey! Who you pushing?
- Do not tell me what to do!
- You can't push me!
Don't tell me!
U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!
I forgot how much fun this was, Ram!
Bring it, Bob!
Asshole! Come on!
Infidel!
Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!
Hey, you okay, ref?
Now I'm gonna take you out, baby!
U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!
Let's take it home.
Ram? Are you all right?
You okay, Ram?
Ram?
I'll take it from here.
Pin me!
Come on, Ram. Pin me!
We gave 'em enough.
Ram- Ram, you okay?
You all right?
It's okay, Ram.
Take it home.
Ram Jam! Ram Jam! Ram Jam!
A Team Nanban (594mgnav) Release
One, two, three, four.
Have you ever seen a one-trick pony
In the field so happy and free
If you've ever seen a one-trick pony
then you've seen me
Have you ever seen a one-legged dog
Makin' his way down the street
If you've ever seen a one-legged dog
then you've seen me
Then you've seen me
I come and stand at every door
Then you've seen me
I always leave with less
than I had before
Then you've seen me
Bet I can make you smile
when the blood it hits the floor
Tell me friend,
can you ask for anything more
Tell me, can you ask for anything more
Have you ever seen a scarecrow
Filled with nothin' but dust and weeds
If you've ever seen that scarecrow
then you've seen me
Have you ever seen a one-armed man
Punchin' at nothin' but the breeze
If you've ever seen a one-armed man
then you've seen me
Then you've seen me
I come and stand at every door
Then you've seen me
I always leave with less
than I had before
Then you've seen me
Bet I can make you smile
when the blood it hits the floor
Tell me friend,
can you ask for anything more
Tell me, can you ask for anything more
These things that have comforted me
I drive away
This place that is my home
I cannot stay
My only faith's in the broken bones
and bruises I display
Have you ever seen a one-legged man
Tryin' to dance his way free
If you've ever seen a one-legged man
then you've seen me