The Zen Diaries of Garry Shandling (2018)

Garry Shandling:
What's the date today?
- Is it April 1st?
- All: The 30th.
- March 30th?
- Woman: The 30th.
( construction noise )
It is March 30th.
It is March 30th
and I have just come--
and it's about 3:30.
I've just come
from my series
that I'm working on.
I've just been writing scripts.
We start shooting May--
the first week in May,
and so we haven't
been out here
shooting anything
about the house
because I've been
working on scripts,
because that's how
I make my fuckin' living.
- ( music playing )
- So the house
has been coming along
and they've already
been doing the framing.
- Tom, how's it going?
- Tom: Pretty good.
- You wanna say hello?
- No.
- ( laughing ) How are you?
- Fine. How are you, Garry?
Tom's doing
all the framing.
- Mm-hmm.
- It's going excellent.
You can tell
from the frames
that are just around
his sunglasses
what a good framer he is.
How we coming along?
You have any suggestions?
Tom:
Gettin' done
what you want.
- That's all I care about.
- OK.
You wanna discuss
this kitchen in there?
The ceiling,
what you want in there?
( stuttering )
Yeah, I got decisions
on that already.
And what
you wanna do
with the skylights.
- Yeah.
- 'Cause they're telling me
put the skylights in.
You don't want
any skylights.
OK, we'll take care
of it today.
We're gonna get it
done, aren't we?
- Seriously?
- We're OK if we get
some answers today
we should be--
We're gonna do all
the answers today.
- Please.
- Yeah.
- Murphy.
- ( Murphy barks )
- Tom: Shake it.
- There you go.
David Letterman,
eat your heart out.
David Letterman:
Garry, what were
we talking about?
Can I ask you about
your involvement
in this show?
In, uh, ( stuttering )
in "Late Night"-- NBC?
- Oh, boy.
- Letterman: Yeah.
Because it seems to me
when at first
it seemed like
I was going away,
Dana Carvey was
gonna host the show--
- All hell broke loose.
- Oh, yeah, that's right.
- I'm sorry.
- ( laughter )
And, uh, Dana Carvey
was gonna be the guy.
Now let me say
that you said,
"Well, Mr. Big Shot
passed on 12:30."
- Oh, no, no.
- Which was very funny.
- Yeah, no, I said--
- But you're leaving.
- ( stuttering ) I said--
- Well, you're leaving
- the 12:30 spot.
- That's right, yeah.
Conan O'Brien:
When I was being considered
for the "Late Night Show"
and I was this
long shot unknown in '93
the other name
was Garry Shandling.
Letterman:
Did they make you
a big offer
- to take this job?
- They made me an offer
that was--
it was gigantic.
- Yeah?
- It was one-third of yours.
- No, no, no.
- ( laughter )
That's funny.
Thank you. All right.
All right, we're all
enjoying a good laugh
at my expense.
O'Brien:
And I remember
people reporting that
like that's just
going to happen.
- ...how much?
- I'm your biggest fan--
not your biggest fan.
There's probably
some nut
who has posters
of you up, but...
Me being told,
in confidence,
"Look, it's not
gonna be you.
It's gonna be Garry,
but you did--
you had
a great audition
and this is gonna--
something good's
gonna happen for you."
( music playing )
And I remember thinking
at the time,
"I don't see
Garry Shandling
doing the same thing,
more or less,
night after night
after night."
But did you ever
seriously consider
this all
could now be yours.
Take a look around.
This studio full
of fabulous prizes
could all
be yours now.
Well,
I like the clock.
Yeah, peel that off
of there for him.
Can you--
can you just...
O'Brien:
He was approaching comedy
- as an artist.
- Letterman: Conan can get
his own clock.
And the people who
look at it as an art,
as I think Garry did,
it's an artistic journey
for them.
That's what
makes them great,
but it also means
they can't crank it out
for all of eternity.
( music playing )
Shandling:
I thought,
"Is there a way
that I can learn
about myself and the world
and people
and get down into that shit
and the essence
of people's lives
and how they cover it
on a talk show?
Or can I do it on a show
about a guy
who hosts a talk show?"
And realized that
it isn't about a guy
who hosts a talk show.
It's the ability
to have that world
within which you could tell
the story of human beings.
- Woman: Hank?
- Hey now.
Look, I'd like
to make sure
you have
everything now
before the show
'cause there
won't be time
for you to go back
to your dressing room.
Fine. Thank you.
Thank you.
Make sure
that they have
( stuttering )
a pillow and Drambuie
on the helicopter.
- Woman: Sure. OK.
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay.
- ( music playing )
It's like she's living
in the seventies.
She's definitely
gonna catch someone.
Someone. Something.
Shandling:
Ah, you improvised
and it caused you
some trouble!
- I'm so sorry!
- Uh-huh!
- I was focused on--
- Knock yourself out.
Beverly:
You want the door closed?
Larry:
I'll tell you what.
Oh, leave it open.
- Oh.
- Close it.
That's fine.
Close it.
You want it open
or closed?
- Closed.
- I'm getting you some coffee.
- OK?
- She is real.
- Man: Yeah.
- ( music playing )
- Man: Oh, anytime? Oh, OK.
- Shandling: Yup.
Man:
Let's talk about
"The Larry Sanders Show."
We're here on the set.
- It's beautiful.
- So, actually,
I had an idea
about five years ago
to do a show about a guy
who hosts a late night show.
I always thought
that would be fun to do
'cause I find
the personality
of these guys
really fascinating.
I mean, it's like-- this is how
I think of it--
the only thing worse
than being on TV every night
is wanting to be
on TV every night.
- ( laughter )
- Hank: And now because
his Uncle Ray
owns the place
( elongating )
Larry Sanders!
( audience cheering )
And C. Calling mark.
Shandling:
I had made the mistake
in my first series
"It's Garry Shandling's Show."
I got lazy because it's very
hard work,
and I started
to let the show
get out of my hands
and it turned into a bit
of a cartoon.
Larry, you
might not recognize
this little girl...
Shandling:
That was what motivated me
to do "Larry Sanders,"
is I needed
to do a show
where I could be allowed
to explore reality...
Stand-up comics
who think
they're fuckin' actors
make me sick.
You're absolutely correct.
Shandling:
...and have
that support system
and everyone understanding.
That's what we're doing
here, everybody.
Are you in or you out?
( music playing )
- Man: Episode 209...
- Larry: Is there any way
the sound guy can help me
with the sound?
It feels a little weak.
All right,
thanks for the help.
Man:
Slating the off camera.
OK, so this
is a talk show segment.
I'm gonna start
and then stop
and then start again,
but you'll understand
what I'm doing
'cause I'll explain it
as we go.
My next-- well,
we'll pretend we're right
in the middle of the show.
Man:
Just a second, I think
we're slating some cameras.
- We all slated?
- Man #2: I'm done.
- I'm slated.
- Slated all around.
Larry:
You guys should know
we have
three video cameras
and we have
four film cameras
and we have actually
- two slide projectors.
- ( laughter )
It's a very
complicated show.
I'm not kidding.
But Jesus,
did you see the way Hank
was all over Hefner?
Shandling:
Some people
mistakenly think
that's a dark show
about people trying
to get what they want.
How in God's name
can they not nominate
this man for an Emmy?
Shandling:
No, it is a show about
people trying to get love
and that shit
gets in the way.
It hurts, Hank.
- It really hurts.
- Shh shh shh.
Shandling:
We were there on that stage
in a really
kind of experimental lab
kind of way.
We didn't have
the name on the door
of the big studio
and all that.
And it was about
exploring feeling.
Hey, you wanted
to see me?
Artie:
Yes.
Brian has filed
a lawsuit against
"The Larry Sanders Show"
for sexual harassment.
You've got top billing.
Plus you stole
my gay dog joke.
- What is that about?
- Holy shit!
This is crazy!
Goddamn you!
Didn't I tell you
to shut the fuck up?
Didn't you see
what he was wearing?
This is entrapment!
You know, if this
gets out all anyone
is going to remember
about the show
is this lawsuit bullshit.
Oh, and 10 years
of laughter.
Marker.
Hey, I saw that tape
of Hank, man.
That guy's got quite
a hog on him, huh?
Guy's cock is huge.
You know, I feel
kind of inadequate,
you know?
I mean, what with
his huge cock
- and all there.
- You look really good, Hank.
Very centered.
Life must be good, huh?
I'm drunk.
Actually,
my life is shit.
Well, it can't be
that bad.
I mean,
I... I just heard
that you were coming out
with some kind of a tape--
an exercise tape.
- Congratulations.
- What is that, a joke?
What, are you
trying to be funny?
You know, you can't
just bang a jukebox
and go,
( elongating ) "Hey!"
And all your problems
disappear, Fonzie.
- It worked for me.
- Ah, go fuck yourself.
- ( audience cheering )
- Female reporter: Each week
viewers go
behind the scenes
of the fictional talk show
"The Larry Sanders Show."
A show where
art imitates life,
and life imitates art.
People who have worked
on talk shows
will go, "Wow, that's
exactly what it's like,"
and the average person
who's never been backstage
of a talk show
will go, "I wonder
if that's really what
it's like?"
We're doing an episode
where Larry's negotiating
his contract--
'cause his contract is up,
and what will he do
and where will he go,
so I think we're gonna play
with that a little bit.
Female reporter:
The character Darlene,
played by actress
Linda Doucett--
Shandling's
real-life steady--
poses for "Playboy"
on the show
and Doucett does it
in real life.
Sacha Baron Cohen:
So, in England
"Seinfeld" was on BBC One--
the mainstream channel.
- Hank?
- Jer.
Cohen:
"Sanders" was on BBC Two
and it was kind of
a smaller niche audience.
But my friends
completely adored that show,
and that was the perfect show.
Good morning, ladies.
Cohen: I'm not sure Ricky
Gervais would agree with this,
but I think "The Office"
is definitely influenced by it.
- Can I talk to you a second?
- Yeah.
Cohen:
It is an office.
It just happens to be
the back office
of a TV show.
Where are your pants?
I flushed them
down the toilet
with the rest
of tonight's show.
Al Jean:
That was the dawn
of what they call
"The Golden Age of TV."
"Larry Sanders"
was the first one I remember
having that
sort of reputation.
Hey, look at Larry
the big, fat asshole.
- Whoo!
- ( applause )
Judd Apatow:
I know that the head
of HBO said that
"Larry Sanders" showed them
what they should be.
He said that
that's what defined HBO.
"Oh, we should go after
this type of quality
and content."
Are you going to keep
hammering me about
this lesbian stuff?
I think this is going great.
I think this is very funny.
- I don't.
- I do.
Hey, look,
I'm just doing my job.
- It's funny.
- You're just doing your job.
You know,
I understand if this
was coming from Letterman.
I didn't sleep with him.
( stuttering )
Am I the only host
you've slept with?
Apatow:
What do you think
the show got right?
I could tell you
what it got wrong,
which always bugged me,
was how many writers
were there?
Yeah, they only
showed a few.
There were
in other rooms
you didn't see.
Other rooms, but you
really got the impression
that, OK,
he's on every night,
and there's two writers
that I see.
They never seem
to be working.
That used to piss me off,
'cause I would say
like, "No, no, you have
a gun in your mouth
from the time you
walk in the front door
until the time
the show is over."
But, of course,
what it got right
was the ego...
I am not watching
my show right now.
O'Brien:
...how neurotic it is,
his depiction
of the desperation
to get away from it,
but also the love of it.
You know,
this is the greatest gig
in the world.
I gotta get the fuck
out of here.
- Artie?
- O'Brien: That is all...
- You've got my tape.
- ...right on.
- What tape?
- The Dana Carvey tape.
The impression
he did of me
on "Saturday Night
Live," and I haven't
seen it.
Apatow:
I remember that Dana Carvey
did this
really mean impression
of Garry
on "Saturday Night Live."
...Madonna be nominated
for "Best Virgin."
Why is he whining
like that?
I mean, I don't whine
like that.
No, not like that.
Apatow:
And then he wrote
an episode about Larry
being offended
by the impression.
- Yeah.
- ( chuckles )
So I guess
you're gonna do it, huh?
- Well, yeah.
- Well, good.
Well, now that you've...
kind of seen it,
does it
bother you, honestly?
Same disguise I think
Michael Jackson wears
when he goes
to Disneyland, isn't it?
It's a bit
over the top, yes.
But that's how
I do these things.
I mean, you know,
my hope is that
it's so abstract,
so cartoony,
that it wouldn't be
offensive to you,
you know.
I mean, like,
well, George Bush
is just like,
( impersonating
George H.W. Bush ).
You know, I mean,
and if you've seen me
do Jay Leno,
it becomes
( impersonating
Jay Leno ).
And you are just
( impersonating Larry ).
So, that's my hope.
I mean,
so you're all right?
Is it all right?
( laughs )
It bothers you.
I mean, you watch
an old "Tonight Show,"
what is that really?
Maybe it's funny to see
Drew Barrymore
when she's 84 years old,
and here she is talking
to Jay Leno when she's six,
or whatever it might be.
Hello, Larry,
it's Drew Barrymore.
Leno:
But I think
"The Larry Sanders Show"
will outlast all of us,
and the stories
are really timeless.
It's about
vanity and pride
and all those great sort of
Shakespearean things, so.
I think
he paid a price
to be able to go
that deep to make
that show.
Yeah, because it did
seem painful to him, you know?
I mean,
he was willing to endure
all sorts of pain
to get
the finished product
as good as it was.
- Slate. Mark.
- Shandling: Excellent.
But I'll do this
to the camera.
( chatter )
- You can tell it's a script?
- Man: Yes.
Go. Ready.
- So what's your problem? Huh?
- ( mumbles )
- Brando puts scripts...
- Both: Up his ass.
- Right.
- Hey!
- Hey!
- Man: Yes, everything's
- ready to go.
- Man #2: Okay, ready, guys?
Apatow:
It does feel like
it was the metaphor
for everything Garry
was struggling with.
His ego and vanity
and narcissism,
and it's like
he took everything
that he didn't
want to be in himself
and put it
in this character
and then mocked it
and said,
"Isn't this
a terrible way to live?"
( chuckles )
Well, that's true.
I mean, when I think
about him,
I think obviously about
here's a very talented man
and a very spiritual man,
and a man who's constantly
sort of questioning
why are we here,
why are we doing things,
and how do we treat each other
and all that.
And the most neurotic,
self-absorbed person.
I'm a fuckin'
talk show host, okay?
Peter Tolan:
You know, obviously,
since we always
would say "Glarry"...
- I'm all fucked up.
- Tolan: ..."Glarry"
was the character
because it's Garry.
The idea that
he's examining himself
through that character,
it's a brilliant form
of therapy.
I can't imagine that
the success of your show,
which is huge,
has changed you
that much.
Do you feel like
you're about the same
amount happy
as you were before
all this
"Larry Sanders" stuff?
I would say literally
I'm about the same amount
happy as I was always.
It's a struggle for me.
I have very
depressing times
and yet people think
because you're famous
that you would feel--
and I don't consider myself--
if some said,
"How does it feel
to be famous?"
I mean, you know,
I don't want
to break this to you,
but we're on cable.
- So it's not like...
- ( laughter )
- You know. It's not like...
- ( applause )
- ...Seriously.
- I...
It's, like,
people go, "Wow,
can you go out?"
I go, "Well, no,
but not because of that.
- Miller: Right.
- So...
- I don't go...
- ( laughter )
You know, I am just
a fuckin' comic.
Larry:
This is about me.
This is about my life.
I've never seen it
all laid out like this,
for God's sakes.
It's not interesting.
It's fucking pathetic.
It's about nothing
but fucking greed
and lust
and self-loathing
and anger,
and let me
tell you something!
That is not what I'm like!
( music playing )
Apatow:
One of the difficulties
with the show,
Garry had
different showrunners
almost every season.
People would get fired.
People would quit.
So you had to reinvent
the wheel every year.
Try to figure out
what the strengths were
of these writers
and partners,
and it exhausted him.
Maya Forbes:
Yeah, and I think
there was a sense
that once
you got to the top
and you're running
the show,
it was gonna be hard
to please Garry
and that
at a certain point
it was gonna turn.
I think Garry really
felt like he had to protect
the coherence of what
he was trying to do,
and so when
he got those kinds of jokes
that were just
totally off base,
they were,
like, offensive to him.
You know, it was like,
"You're gonna destroy
what I'm doing here."
He was like, "You don't get it.
You don't get it, you know?
You don't get it, so yeah,
you don't get me.
If you--
if you don't get it
then you don't get me,
and what are you doing here?"
( music playing )
Apatow:
I was working
on "The Ben Stiller Show,"
and Garry did a cameo.
- How you doing?
- Apatow: And then when
the show ended--
when we were canceled,
Garry said,
"Oh, you should come over
and work at
"The Larry Sanders Show."
And he said,
"And you're gonna learn
a lot," which
I always thought
was great because
he didn't say,
"You're gonna be
very helpful."
( laughter )
So when did you come over?
Which season?
Apatow:
Season two,
and I would do
two days a week
'cause I didn't want
to be responsible
for final choices.
I just wanted
to pitch jokes...
- Right.
- ...so that I was
- always helpful.
- Right.
You were not part
of the problem.
Apatow:
Then out of the blue,
and I never asked him,
Garry just said,
"I want you to direct
the next show."
And, to me,
it was such a giant thing
because I was afraid
to do it,
and he might have
known that--
that on some level
I was scared.
I never would ask,
and he gave me
that opportunity.
- Yeah.
- But it felt pressurized.
- I remember--
- Tolan: It had to.
The oral history
of "Sanders"
is littered
with the names of writers
who-- that
he would mention
to you later
in sort of an offhanded way,
as sort of, you know,
sometimes as the butt of a joke
or just a comic reference.
I mean, his disappointment
was pretty complete.
Paul Simms: All right,
what's the date today?
It's July 14.
That means
I haven't brushed
my teeth in three months...
'cause I've been working
on this fuckin' show.
Simms:
So we've been
working, uh,
for how many months now?
Well, this is table script--
Oh. So, I don't know.
But we're on show number eight.
- No.
- Simms: Number nine.
Number nine.
Simms:
A lot of things have changed
since we last talked.
There are now people on staff
whose names I don't know.
On the writers' staff.
There's someone who's got
a producer credit
whose name I haven't
got right yet.
Simms:
What's he look like?
It's not the...
The Jew. There's a Jewish man
and an Italian man.
( both laugh )
And between the two of them,
they don't know
what the fuck's going on.
( Simms laughing )
Shandling:
It's a living hell. Look at me.
Look at me, I'm a mess.
John Markus:
For me, it was amazing
that he didn't
enjoy the show more.
And I think it's because
he suffered the quality.
- Man: How's it going, Garry?
- I hate this fuckin' show.
- How's it going tonight?
- I hate this fuckin' show.
- Well, it's almost over.
- I hate this fuckin' show.
- What's the problem?
- I hate the fuckin' show.
I hate the fuckin' show.
Dave Letterman's right.
His attitude's right.
But to have him just tell you
what a scene should be like...
and when he was done telling you
what it was like,
you had the scene.
You had the dialogue.
You had everything.
And there were moments when
he would say,
"Okay, let's just fix this."
And he'd fix an entire script
in half an hour.
And you would see, like,
Michael Jordan in the seventh
game of the championship.
He was just in flow.
- It's not funny.
- I beg your pardon?
What word do you have
trouble with?
You understand "not"?
That's comfortable for you?
- Yeah.
- And "funny?" You've heard
of that? This doesn't work.
I think socks had something
to do with that decision.
- See? Now I'm laughing.
- Well, laugh loud
so you can cover
for the rest of us.
Hey. Hey.
You like your job?
No.
Well, watch it.
He was quite strong with me.
He wasn't warm
and fuzzy with me.
He said, "Now look,
you cannot prepare for this.
"You cannot-- these are not
about learning your lines.
You have to let it come."
You have to...
You have to--
That was a big,
big wake-up call.
And actually changed...
I think probably
changed my fabric.
They were talking to Larry.
He sends his best.
Great. And...the shoes
aren't right.
- Look at the shoes.
- What's wrong with them?
This is not right. You know?
And I ordered some--
( crying )
Should I be concerned?
Hmm?
Don't make me do this, okay?
I just can't do this.
I'm not up...
I'm not up to this.
Don't make me.
Oh, come on.
Paula's out there.
She's waiting to go over
the guest questions with you.
I'll be a few feet away
at the monitor.
We're just so thrilled for you.
We just want
to support you, buddy.
- What if I suck?
- Never!
( laughing )
No? Yeah.
What if I suck?
I mean, after all this time,
I finally get my chance,
and what if I suck?
I mean, you know,
I'm serious.
Maybe I shouldn't
get my chance,
and then I don't have
to find out I suck.
Breathe in.
- What if I suck?
- Let it out.
( exhales shakily )
What if I suck?
Ready?
No.
Breathe in.
( inhales shakily )
Let it out.
( sighs )
Ready?
No.
Mark.
Tambor:
We actually developed
some things where
we didn't cut, remember?
- Were you above my...ass?
- Man: We're rolling.
- Because Garry would
wander away if we cut.
- Wander.
Where's... the constant lament
was, "Where's Garry?"
Man 1:
Back from lunch, still rolling.
man 2:
Come on, we're still rolling.
Tambor:
And you guys figured out
if you don't cut,
he has to stay.
They also put a buzzer on his
script, which was in a binder,
because he always lost it.
So, they-- like, they taped some
buzzer so you'd have a button.
And it would buzz somewhere,
and people would just, like,
look for the buzzing.
( laughs )
Penny Johnson:
Garry was good at knowing
that what he was a part of
was bigger than him.
Something else was there
to make this chemistry
of players bind,
and that was the love.
Now, he may have given you guys
hell in the writers' room,
but there was nothing but love
and collaboration
with us players.
I loved your material,
particularly this prison joke.
Punishing criminals by making
the prison bars horizontal,
- so the prisoners feel fatter.
- Feel fatter.
- Larry does all
the punch lines around here.
- Whoops.
Sarah Silverman:
I was 24,
and my friend brought me
to basketball.
And I just started playing
basketball here on Sundays.
- I mean, I lived for Sundays.
- Judd: Yeah.
Apatow:
When Garry built the house,
he was so excited to build
the basketball court.
Silverman:
And I think he loved
the camaraderie.
Apatow:
He had pretty good game.
He did. I mean,
it was great guarding him,
because he very rarely
went on the inside.
- You didn't have
to run around too much.
- Yeah.
Let me be clear. Anything you're
uncomfortable with, we change.
Anything you'd rather say, say.
Silverman:
You know, the scripts
were so brilliant,
and he would still say,
"Say whatever you want.
I mean, all that's important
is that you get
the spirit of this scene
across."
I'm sorry?
Silverman:
So, it wasn't that he...
- I'm sorry, once more?
- Silverman: ...was so precious
- Steven Wright.
- Yes.
Silverman:
...with every single thing,
but he just wanted it
to be right,
and for it to be right
was very specific to him.
- Hey, Larry.
- Hey, how are you doing?
- Good, how are you doing?
- Good to see you.
David Duchovny:
The first moment
that I met him was,
we did a take, and it was
half written, half improvised.
You know, it's not like
I was begging to be on the show.
You guys have been asking me
to be on the show for months.
I didn't come here just
to stick my thumb up my ass.
I've got to go talk to Hank.
Will you excuse me one second?
- I'll talk to him.
- No, I'll talk.
Duchovny:
For me, it was like
being knighted.
It was such an important moment
where this guy that I thought
was a comic genius
said to me,
"Hey, you know,
I get what you're doing."
So, it gave me
a lot of confidence,
just that one moment.
Apatow:
Because you hadn't done
a lot of comedy before?
No, not intentionally, anyway.
Oh!
Duchovny:
Then we became friends,
and then it was just like ideas
that either he or I would have.
The idea that I had
a crush on him,
I think I just said
during basketball one time.
You may have even been there
and not listening.
I don't know what it was.
But I said, it would be funny
if I had a crush on you,
but it's not sexual.
He said, "I don't understand
that, but it's funny."
Well, I'm sorry I'm not going
to be on the show with you.
What are you talking about?
My agent called,
said the network went ballistic,
and they put me back on
with Jon Stewart.
Goddamn it. Shit.
Why?
They're just not supposed
to do that. Goddamn it!
( shushing )
God, you're really upset,
aren't you?
God, you really care
about me, don't you?
Duchovny:
That was, to me,
it was like bravery
about the whole thing thing.
- I'll see you.
- See you later.
Oh, hi, Darlene.
Hi, Larry.
Linda Doucett:
The show became
art imitating life.
A lot of our situations
and things came into play.
You know, I've learned
the hard way, Darlene,
that office relationships
are inappropriate, and...
- Screw him.
- Yeah, well,
it's not like
it's a dog...
Doucett:
When you're starring,
you're show-running,
you're writing,
you're parodying the dark side
of your own personal life.
It's a lot.
So, it became
very difficult,
because we were having a human
spiritual experience,
and I wanted to become
more of a mother.
And...
( sighs )
Is this where I can cry?
I guess.
( both laugh )
So it wasn't, like...
it's like our paths changed.
I think the thought of losing
a child, to him...
He lost a brother.
And his mother, you know,
I think she went a little crazy
because of that.
So, you know,
children became an issue
for Garry.
When you have the cystic
fibrosis illness
in your family,
you have a chance
of carrying that gene.
I think it was more about,
if he loved a child so much,
what if the child died
like his brother died?
Apatow:
Well, that's complicated.
He doesn't want
to have children, you do.
But now you're also working
on the television show together.
Ugh!
Apatow:
So you're tied together at work.
Work.
And then,
after Garry and I broke up,
my agent called
and said I was fired.
But you have to understand
that there were so many people
advising him now,
that the human personal
experience is now removed.
It's business.
It seemed like Garry
didn't understand
that when you guys broke up,
that you're not allowed to fire
your ex-fiance
from her show.
You know, it's amazing
how we started off mocking,
you know, the industry,
and then we fell prey to it.
You know?
Man:
We're rolling.
Shandling:
It's very good to have
this peaceful moment
before we get into laughing.
Man:
Scene 6-P, take one.
Right now my body is saying,
"Why do I have
your fuckin' brain?"
( on-set laughter )
"Why couldn't I have the brain
of a singer?" my body said.
A fuckin' comic.
Means I got to fuckin'
pace back and forth
and be constantly thinking
about shit to say,
or I feel inadequate.
( laughter )
Fuckin' neurotic fuck.
Get Dr. Kevorkian's number.
Let's get this over with.
I'm ready to come back.
Come back in the fuckin' body
of a dog, I'd be happier.
At least I wouldn't
be licking my balls as much.
( laughter )
Man:
We are back from commercial!
- Shandling: We're back?
- ( bell rings )
Apatow:
You know, Garry's exhausted
and making the show.
He terminated Linda's contract
when they broke up as a couple.
And so she sues him
for wrongful termination.
The lawsuit was settled.
But at some point in going
through contracts
and money
to deal with that,
everyone becomes aware that
the commissions are not kosher.
- The Brad Grey commissions?
- Apatow: Yes.
Yeah, that's right.
And... and, the lawyer
that Garry had engaged
asked Brad's group, "Hey, can
we see these contacts?
Whatever it is
that Garry signed."
And the general response
from Brad was,
"You don't want to ask
this question."
Apatow:
And that's when Brad Grey
dropped him as a client.
Gavin DeBecker:
Yeah.
And that opened up
a huge can of worms.
Bill Isaacson:
When Garry was starting
in stand-up,
Brad Grey was representing him
and helping him get gigs,
and they were
very close friends.
And as Garry succeeded,
so did Brad.
Then Brad became 50% owner
of "Larry Sanders Show."
At the same time,
he's the manager,
so he receives commissions.
And he's the producer,
so he gets producer fees.
And he began to use
his reputation
that he was getting from that
to spin off into other shows
and then to do
production deals.
I don't think it actually
occurred to people
that your business manager
should not take
half of your show.
- Mm-hmm.
- And all of a sudden,
the writers
from "Larry Sanders"
were being offered
deals at other shows.
So, you're sitting there saying,
my producer and my co-owner
is taking away our talent
and taking it away over there,
which was a part
of the conflicts that--
that, you know,
really upset Garry.
Because anything that made
the job more difficult
or took creative people
that he wanted to work with
away from him,
was taking away
from "Larry Sanders Show."
But it just came down
the core of,
your manager is taking
a commission
to represent your interests,
and not supposed to be
representing his interests.
This person had a duty
of loyalty to me.
( music playing )
Lawsuit's filed
January 1998.
The last season
of "Larry Sanders"
starts in March,
which is really
about the lawsuit.
It's him reacting to the whole
issue of conflicts of interest.
- Mark.
- Stevie Grant: Hey, listen,
I know you're busy
dreaming about
your lover's cock and all,
but I think I ordered
some coffee.
Apatow:
Because on the show,
Stevie Grant
is representing
both Larry and Jon Stewart,
as Jon Stewart's trying
to get Larry's job.
Crewman:
Seventeen, take two.
I know this is awkward.
I just wanted to tell you
that I was going to be thanking
you at the top of the show
- my very first thing.
- Uh-huh.
- You don't need to do that.
- No, I so do.
- You really don't.
- I'm just going to say
how much I appreciated
your support,
and what an honor and
a challenge it's going to be
to even try...
I don't think
you need "challenge."
...and follow
in your footsteps.
That's a little overkill.
"Honor's" good.
- I'll say that one twice.
- Just say "honor."
Listen, did Stevie Grant tell
you he was going to sign me
beforehand?
We got to get the
Stevie Grant beat right.
- This is about Jon Stewart,
isn't it?
- ( laughs )
I am telling you,
ABC has just made him an offer,
and the network is just using me
as a fucking negotiation tool.
Who represents him, anyway?
I do.
- You do?
- Yeah.
- Since when?
- Since today.
I thought you had
a photo shoot and a meeting.
I had to eat lunch, Larry.
- With Jon Stewart.
- Yeah.
I see.
Don't you think
that's a tad of a conflict?
Not for me.
Apatow:
Garry would say that he wanted
the show to be great.
And one of the reasons was,
he wanted people to know
that Brad never
did anything.
- ( laughs )
- And so he wanted it
- to be the best season
of all the seasons.
- Yeah.
So he used revenge for energy.
I'll show you.
I'll show you some real quality.
- Man: Rolling.
- Let's go.
Man 1:
Take one.
Man 2:
Okay, let's go.
- Go, go, go.
- Man 3: And action. Dave?
- Hey.
- Hey!
Close the fuckin' door.
Jimmy:
I heard the news
about Jon Stewart.
- What, he's leaving the agency?
- Stevie: Yeah. You know why?
He says he caught me in a lie.
( scoffs )
Right.
Oh, my God,
I told a fuckin' lie!
Yeah, I told him his fuckin'
show would run for 20 years.
He didn't seem
to mind that lie.
Jimmy:
Look, can I be honest with you?
He's got nothing.
I took a shit this morning
with more talent.
Fuckin' artists. They're all
crazy, neurotic babies.
( snorts )
Man:
And, we cut.
( indistinct chatter )
Bruce Grayson:
I remember being on the set
and how emotional he was.
I mean, he was so intense.
He was so intense.
Yeah.
And, you're looking at this
fuckin' guy, you're coked up.
Okay? Okay.
Take your time.
Get intense at that person
you don't like.
Apatow:
Garry talked a lot about
The reason why he had
the lawsuit with Brad
was to stand up
for himself.
But ultimately it led
to what Garry felt was
a smear campaign against him.
Grayson:
And when it turned on him,
it blew his mind.
( music playing )
DeBecker:
Many of these dynamics
that went on with Garry
around difficult relationships
with people who had betrayed him
in some way, he felt,
really go back to...
to the death of Barry,
his older brother.
If you had a very close
relationship with Garry,
it would often be fraternal,
and that would be fraught.
And I think Brad
had that circumstance occur.
That dynamic and that pain
is what Brad was dancing on.
Dancing on that wound.
Leno:
You know, whenever you talk
to Garry, you always sensed
he was trying to think
of something funny to say
and come back.
And after that,
he was just never the same.
It was just like,
you know when you're a kid
and an adult does something
to disappoint you, you know?
And you're so stunned.
But, I would...
every time I saw him
I always felt the need
to cheer him up
and compliment him
more than I normally would,
just because I felt like
something had been taken
from him, you know?
The fire seemed to,
if not gone out,
somewhat diminished.
Grayson:
Betrayal was a big component
in Garry's life.
If there is an element
of betrayal or dishonesty
after Brad,
a lot of friendships
were just dropped.
Bob Saget:
When I signed with Brad
when he was 20 and I was 22,
I knew without
a question of a doubt
that he was going
to rise to the top
of whatever
he wanted to do.
Brad was not a bad person.
Brad was a businessman,
and he loved Garry.
And he was one of the most
giving people
for my family
and for my life
that will ever
be in my life.
But when Garry came after him
with all guns blazing,
I think he felt betrayed,
because if you sue someone
for $100 million
you're saying that you want
to destroy that person.
Or at least
his reputation.
I had two friends
that I loved
who were basically going through
a very upsetting divorce.
And I couldn't not be friends
with Brad anymore.
But I also couldn't not be
friends with Garry anymore.
- Yeah.
- But that's what Garry wanted.
Well, what did
he think was happening?
I think he felt I chose a side
when I wanted to talk to him,
because I had none of those
grievances nor understanding.
And Brad and his family
and his kids are like my kids.
- Yeah.
- And I love them.
And so, I can't have
my godchild anymore?
You know, it's...
"I need to talk to you
about this, Garry."
Why did he think that you
were on Brad's side, though?
I made one joke.
Someone said,
"Are you going to sue Brad?"
And I said, "No, but I have
my eye on one of his cars."
Apatow:
And he took that as...?
Saget:
I don't know.
I'm sure he saw it.
And there might be other things.
I mean, I...
What do you think Garry expected
from you in that moment?
What do you think Garry
thinks was...?
That's what I don't know.
Because it seems like
Garry wasn't able
to shut off
his hurt enough to go,
"Oh, what would I do
in their situation?"
Or, "How much can I understand
about--?"
But as hurt as he was,
I was pretty fuckin' hurt.
So I just kept trying
to call Garry to say,
"I want to talk to you."
And he didn't want to.
Tambor:
Testing. I don't-- is this on?
Can you hear this?
Oh, all right.
Don't have to yell.
Just asking.
Just asking a question.
Live on tape from Hollywood,
"The Larry Sanders Show."
Tonight, join Larry
and his guests:
Tim Allen, Tom Petty,
Sean Penn, Carol Burnett,
David Duchovny,
Greg Kinnear, Clint Black,
Bruno Kirby, and me,
"Hey Now" Hank Kingsley.
And now, because this is the
last time I'm going to say it,
Larry Sanders!
( applause )
Larry:
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
( on-set laughter )
Man 1:
Mark!
Man 2:
Action!
Oh, brother. So...
If you feel the same way as I do
about Larry leaving this show,
- say "no way!"
- Audience: No way!
Oh, actually, we have to take it
back from further back.
Why are you
fucking with them?
- That is so...
- ( audience laughs )
You're supposed
to repeat that.
That was unbelievable how
you could get them to do that.
- They're supposed
to repeat everything.
- They will.
Where do you want
to go back to?
Actually, it's a different
intro right now.
- Really? Okay.
- Yeah. Yeah, remember, Judd?
- Judd: Yeah.
- Okay, so what do I do?
Okay, I guess go from
the point where I say, uh...
- God...
- ...something brilliant.
Shandling:
Here we go. Ready? What is it?
Jim:
What isn't it?
You're leaving, Larry.
Just when I thought everything
in my life was solid.
You decide to go.
I don't think I,
and the rest of America,
should be forced to live
without a Larry Sanders show.
( laughs )
( cheers and applause )
In fact, I'm not
leaving this stage
until you decide not to go.
And, I think everybody in this
audience feels the same!
- Right guys?
- ( audience cheers )
If you're as upset as I am about
Larry Sanders leaving this show,
- say, "no way!"
- Audience: No way!
If you feel, as I do,
that Larry owes you
for your years of devotion
to him and this show,
- say, "no way!"
- Audience: No way!
- Jim Carrey: No way!
- Audience: No way!
- No way!
- Audience: No way!
- Jim Carrey: No! Way!
- No! Way!
- No, no, way, way!
- Audience: No, no, way, way!
- No way, way, way!
- Audience: No way, way, way!
- No!
- Audience: No!
- Way!
- Way!
- Jim Carrey: No way!
- No way!
( blows note )
No, no, no, no way
No, no, no, no way
We're living without you
I'm not living
Without you
There's no way
No way
Tear down the mountains
They'll scream and shout
You can say
What you want
We're not walking out
Stop all the rivers
Push back or kill
I'm not gonna leave you
There's no way I will
Whoo!
Come on!
- Whoo!
- Whoo!
You're gonna love me
Yeah, yeah
You're gonna love me
Yeah, yeah, yeah
You're gonna love me
Love me
Love me
Love
Winning and losing
is not important.
- Being nominated is.
- Garry, Garry, we won.
Oh, we won?
Oh, thank God.
Okay, yeah.
Oh, being nominated
means nothing.
( laughs )
Larry
Larry, love me
Love you, Larry!
( sobbing )
What the fuck is this?
Audience:
No way! No way! No way! No way!
No way! No way!
No way! No way!
No way! No way! No way!
( indistinct chatter )
Apatow:
On the last night,
there was a lot of tension.
- Tambor: Yeah.
- Apatow: And when it was time
to do the last scene
with you and Rip...
He wanted to pull the plug
that night.
Apatow:
Yes, he did.
Garry just noticed that it was
about 7 or 8 pages.
And he said,
"I think it's too long."
He was running out of gas
and he wanted to cut it in half.
Probably he just didn't want
to even face it.
Because that was good-bye.
Artie:
Hello, stranger.
Well, well, well.
What are you doing here?
Tambor:
Here's what I remember...
Just being a sad and pathetic
shithead like you.
Sit down.
We got that baby in one.
One take.
Come on, Larry.
Let's help our brother here.
Tambor:
You know that I begged him
to keep going?
Hey, what are you guys
doing tomorrow?
Tambor:
Because I knew
I was leaving Valhalla.
I mean, we all did.
Oh, good for you!
I guess it's us.
Tambor:
And I went,
"Please do another season,
please do."
And, he said,
"I can't. I literally--
and it will become very clear
to you-- I can't."
Shandling:
Are you starting?
- We'll start now.
- Do I have to sit down?
No, you...I don't think
the cameras can pick us up.
Yeah, they can't
really pick up...
they pick up
from here, down.
- That's all I need.
- Okay.
I don't have a problem
with that.
Rather than sit down,
how about please have a seat?
( sighs )
All right.
- I'm not ready.
- I know.
We'll talk about that.
But we're going to tape
what we talk about.
- Go, go, go. Just start.
- Okay, just start. Okay?
- Chris, roll tape.
- Just do what you want.
- You do what you want, Charlie.
- No, roll tape.
I'm going to put
my ear piece in
so they can give me
timing cues too, as well.
But, I mean, at very
interesting times in your life,
when people wanted you to go
in a certain direction,
you've said no.
- Yes, that's true.
- You know?
It's almost like you have
this internal clock...
- Yeah.
- ...that tells you
it's time to get off
the stage.
Not even necessar--
( laughs )
I can take a hint,
my friend.
( laughing )
Oh, please come back.
So, that you then go...
- I do.
- ...you know, and is it because
it is so hard that you
just exhaust yourself
and you can
only do so much?
Or is it because
it just gets boring
because it's repetitious
for you?
The show is really
difficult to do,
and tired and fed up
happened on occasion.
But, you know,
I'm in the middle of a lawsuit
and there are stories being used
to proliferate certain
aspects of that lawsuit,
which I, you know,
don't necessarily
want to get into,
'cause it's a difficult
circumstance
that I can't discuss much.
I mean...
You sued your manager
for $100 million.
Yeah, yeah.
Well...
Saying he was paying
too much attention
to building his own business
and not looking after you.
And, for standing up for
doing what I think is right,
there's a price to pay
and there's a game
to be played,
and there's a lot
of spinning being done
that is common
in America now.
I think it's an incredibly
unfortunate circumstance
that the world which I thought
was going to be more loving
and all those things that
we believed in in the '60s
it seems to be the opposite.
And people all have an agenda,
and they say,
"Well, why not me?"
I don't really know
what to do about it
except to be as honest
as I can be.
- And I...
- Your argument is
that if you stand up for what
you think are your rights
and pursue something
that you think is fair for you,
that part of the battle
and part of the, you know,
weaponry is to suggest that...
that the person who is
the litigant is a little crazy.
I, um...
I don't have a seat belt.
Jerry Seinfeld:
There's no excuse for that.
( seat belt clicks )
Shandling:
I want to do something
about the difference
between a man therapist
and a woman therapist,
but I haven't really
worked it out yet.
It's like, the trouble I have
now with a woman therapist,
if she says,
"So, how did your day go?"
I go, "Come on,
get off my back."
Seinfeld:
That's funny.
( indistinct chatter )
- Hi.
- Man: Yeah.
Seinfeld:
Just the one show,
you know?
I would love to be blue.
That's your notes?
It says, "new shit."
( all laugh )
Seinfeld:
You know what I think about,
is the number of blank pages
that you brought along.
I know. I'm trying
to intimidate everybody else
into thinking I have
tons of material.
Garry, this is really
kind of silly, isn't it?
You can do better than this.
Why do you do it like this?
- I cannot...
- ( all laugh )
Seinfeld:
Why do you need
all these papers?
You know, they make small
legal pads, 5 inch by 8 inch.
Look at me.
I did.
( laughs )
Why are you trying to change
Uncle Garry's ways?
- No, I think it's...
- Seinfeld: Does that help you?
Shandling:
I think it's eccentric
to the way I think,
and so I'm constantly
writing things down.
And by the time I come to
the club now, I grab everything,
because, actually,
what I do,
is I was figuring it out
20 minutes before I went on,
then I take all this and
put it on one piece of paper
or two pieces
that I take up.
- Seinfeld: Right.
- Shandling: And, I still,
you know, I'm inventing
and writing on-stage.
And it is a little like
an actor doing a scene
and not knowing yet
what the emotional beats are,
and finding it
and letting it happen,
instead of planning it
ahead of time.
- Seinfeld: Right.
- That's just the way I work.
Seinfeld:
But how come comedians
are bad actors, then?
Shandling:
I don't think
they are bad actors.
Seinfeld:
Most them are, Garry.
The ones that are not
are exceptional.
It's just the same reason that
you were great in your show.
I wasn't great.
I was serviceable.
You were great.
No, I think a lot
of comedians...
You became a good actor,
and you did it
by learning to act.
It really didn't have...
I don't think it had a lot
to do with your comedy.
Yeah, it did. It's all
about being in the moment,
and trusting,
and having the courage
to discover what
the next moment is,
and that's when
you have those moments
where you deliver
something unexpectedly
that kills an audience.
Right.
( applause )
Chris Rock: My God.
You people are really going
to be disappointed.
( audience laughs )
Rock:
I've got nothing...
remotely funny to say.
Marriage is hard, man.
This is how hard marriage is.
Nelson Mandela
got a divorce.
That's hilarious.
Nelson Mandela got a divorce.
Rock:
Let me explain
what this means to you.
If Nelson Mandela
can't make it work...
Rock:
Nelson Mandela spent 27 years
in a South African prison...
- Right.
- ...being beaten and tortured.
He can take that.
Rock:
He did that with no problem.
He's hilarious.
Emcee:
Garry Shandling.
( cheers and applause )
Shandling:
Well, I'm not-- Hey.
This is what I'm like.
I have nothing really prepared,
and I'm not a professional
like the other fellows.
And I have a lot to tell you,
but I don't feel safe.
I think you're only interested
in the funny parts.
You're like my shrink who said,
"Garry, honestly,
go home and work on this and put
some fuckin' jokes in there."
( both laugh )
I talk to her for 50 minutes,
and I know
if she'd give me another
10 minutes I could fuck her,
because I've built up the
intimacy with the small talk.
Garry Shandling,
in 20 years,
is going to look
just like Jackie Mason.
- Right.
- A little taller.
( both laugh )
I haven't told my dog
he's adopted yet,
because I'm afraid
he'll run away
to look for his
real parents.
I want to adopt a child
who looks like me.
- Woman: Oh, God.
- I know.
"Oh, God."
Well, I don't mean
right away, ma'am.
I had post-partum
depression...
when I was born.
Isn't it usually the mother
who has it?
Oh, man.
I looked up...
I still remember this, serious,
and I said,
"Oh, no, they're Jews."
( laughing )
( audience cheering )
This is the greatest fuckin'
night in comedy
that there's ever been.
Seinfeld:
It's over.
Shandling:
Good morning.
Goldie Hawn:
What are you doing here?
I need my sport coat.
You have to call me
an hour ahead of time!
Now I need to go through lawyers
to get my sport coats.
Hawn:
Yeah.
Brian Linehan:
You say that "acting
is hard for me,
because I'm still learning
to feel instead of verbalize."
- That's right.
- Where are you now?
Well, you know, I think
I'm getting better at it.
I find myself having to cover
less with my comedy
than I used to.
And I'm able to sort of...
you know, and that's why
it's a challenge for me,
and that's why I wanted to act,
because I think I can grow
as a person through it.
Maybe not.
Well, let's hope I can.
You make me uncomfortable.
I don't know why.
Why do you think?
I don't know.
I have a couple of ideas.
Duchovny:
I think he wanted to be,
you know, a great actor.
I think he thought of that
as somehow better, you know,
or more artistic, or...
he valued it in a way
that was greater
than what his
natural gift was for.
I'm talking to him about you
being the quarterback coach.
He brings up offensive
coordinator.
Really? What's the bad news?
The bad news is
you might be successful.
I know how hard that is
for you to handle.
But, as your friend,
I will see you through it.
Duchovny:
For me, he could not
fake anything.
Wayne Federman:
Garry Shandling, Ta Leoni,
this is Agents Mulder
and Scully.
- Mulder: Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- Ta Leone: It's a pleasure.
- Big fan.
Duchovny:
Like when he did a part
on the "X-Files" that I wrote
and I directed him in.
And we were shooting the scene,
and I was talking to him
about it.
Seriously, listen,
can I ask you something?
Sure.
Duchovny:
And he said, "I just--
"I'm not--
I'm not Bruce Willis," he said.
And I was just thinking,
"Well, just fuckin' fake it."
You know?
It's a comedy, really.
Just, like...just fake it.
But Garry
could not do that.
The fact that he would
bring that to bear
was so beautiful
and heartbreaking to me.
I don't know that I could
use it or help him.
But it was like,
he's so honest.
Man 1:
All right, picture time.
Man 2:
All right, here we go.
( indistinct chatter )
Still the masses, please.
Apatow:
You worked with Garry
- on his movie.
- Tolan: Yes.
Man:
All right, here we go.
Here's the rehearsal.
Tolan:
It was about a guy who was sent
from a distant planet
to take over the world by
impregnating some Earth women.
Christmas is early
this year.
You guys twins?
- Woman: Asshole.
- Tolan: And, in effect,
becomes human.
In effect, falls in love.
Shandling:
I thought this would
be a new way
to tell the story
of a man finding himself
and seeing the foibles
of human behavior on Earth.
He comes down here
expecting it to be a snap,
and encounters not only
troubles with women...
I've actually decided I'm not
going to have sex
until I get married.
Sorry?
. but he encounters greed
and jealousy in the workplace,
and all the things
that ego provides us.
- You got the promotion?
- And you didn't.
- ( laughter )
- Champagne?
Shandling:
And so this movie says,
if we keep going
just in that direction
and don't balance it out with
some human emotion and heart,
that we're doomed.
Three billion females
on the planet
and you pick one
that wants to get married.
- What should I do?
- Marry her.
But I'm not trained
for marriage.
Perry tells me
it's a living hell.
- Who's Perry?
- This guy at work.
He didn't even think
Susan was that hot.
Who's Susan? Why is she hot?
Is she on fire?
Tolan:
He may have thought,
"I'm going to have
this new thing,
"which might be a little
more manageable for me
"as opposed to being
the guy in charge.
Why don't I be an actor?"
Because he loved that challenge.
And Mike Nichols
was directing.
Mike Nichols:
That's good, Garry.
That'll work, right?
Cutting the music will
be your cue.
Tolan:
They started shooting
in Phoenix.
And at the end of day one,
I get a call from Mike saying,
"Get down here."
I took a quick flight
and got down there, and I said,
"What's going on?"
And he said, "What is he doing?
"I don't have time for him
to find a performance.
He wrote this.
He should know how to do it."
And he wanted Garry to do it
in two takes.
Nichols:
Okay, ready, and...
Tolan:
And, as you know,
he was not
that kind of actor.
Nichols:
Action, fellas.
Ed Solomon:
He described an experience
that's just still,
to this day,
one of the most painful things
I've heard.
There's a moment
when I think Mike looked
at the first set of dailies
and just looked at Garry
and went, like, "Oh, my God."
Like just had a physical,
visceral reaction
that was negative.
And Garry knew it.
It sent him into a panic.
It sent him into a free fall.
James L. Brooks:
I'd hear the word-for-word what
happened on the set,
and it wasn't the Mike
I knew at all.
But, holy shit,
whoever was doing it to him,
it was...I don't know...
I don't know how you could
have a rougher time as an actor
starring in a movie
that you'd written.
I can't imagine
a tougher experience.
Garry was in an unfamiliar
and totally vulnerable
situation.
And I think Mike must've felt
singularly trapped
that with this script
came Garry.
The chemistry was so wrong.
And Garry had, I think,
in honesty,
had to endure a protracted
period of time,
being directed by a great man
and a witty man
and one of the smartest
men alive,
who did not want to be there
after day one.
And who was,
in his upset...
punishing.
( music playing )
I can't even think about
what my jokes are.
Interviewer:
Oh, my God, someone left...
- Oh, I'd like one of those.
- ...Breath Savers.
Do you think that these could be
bad...these could be poisoned?
Apatow:
I don't know where
this is from,
but Garry wrote a series
of fake quotes for the poster.
He wrote, "I tried my darndest
to pull this off.
Garry Shandling."
- ( laughs )
- And then he wrote,
"I thought we could do it.
Annette Bening."
"I thought Mike Nichols,
Garry Shandling,
"Greg Kinnear,
Annette Bening--
"what could go wrong?
Wait till you see.
John Goodman."
( both laugh )
Shandling:
The reason I was mad
at Brad Grey,
the reason I'm mad
at Mike Nichols,
is because I find this behavior
immoral and unethical.
I no longer know how
to pick out someone not crazy,
so it freezes me right now.
I'm frozen.
And simultaneously thinking,
"Do I really just want
to be in this business?"
I've got to live my life.
Garry had a line
that he said often.
I'd say, "How are you?"
He'd say,
"It's the five topics."
So, the five topics,
I might not remember all five,
but one of them
was this house,
everything that's wrong
with this house,
and the architect
made a mistake,
and it should have been
this way and that way.
So, that would be one
of the topics.
A girlfriend of the moment would
always be one of the topics.
And Brad Grey would be
one of the topics.
And show business
would be one of the topics.
And spirituality.
So, you'd say,
"How are you today?"
"Oh, it's the five topics."
You know, you just pick one.
And when Garry got ulcers
at one point,
got diagnosed
with ulcers,
and we were talking
about Brad,
and he said,
"Wait, wait, wait, wait."
He put his hand on his stomach.
"Wait, wait, wait.
No, we have to change
the subject."
And I said, "What?" And he said,
"It hurts a little bit,
"and I get a real signal now
when I should be off
a certain subject."
And it was always an effort
to let go of it.
Apatow:
So in that period
when he was getting over
the tough experience
working with Mike Nichols,
he settles his lawsuit.
DeBecker:
Yes, I think that, ultimately,
Brad did not
want to go to trial,
and the settlement
was very favorable to Garry.
Charlie Rose:
The lawsuit you settled,
you got that settled?
Shandling:
Yes, I'm happy
that's in the past.
Brad Grey was here
on this program.
How did that go?
- It was fine. Yeah.
- Yeah.
He basically didn't
tell me the nature of the deal.
He said you traded
some properties.
- I mean, it is a...
- Nobody admitted anything.
You just traded properties
and that was it.
It's been printed that I got
ownership of my shows,
which I'm thrilled about.
That's pretty good.
These are very hot...
these are good
properties to have.
So you came out with something,
not nothing?
Oh, I came out with...
Apatow:
As a result of Garry's lawsuit,
it seems to have changed
the business a bit.
DeBecker:
I think that's true.
I mean, people certainly
recognize that you cannot
be somebody's manager
and be the studio
all at the same time.
And that's really what
the legacy of that case is.
( punching bag being hit )
Peter Berg:
When he felt righteous
about an issue,
he was gonna get you.
You know, something happened
at some point to Garry
that created this wild energy
that, you know, lit a fuse,
and beauty and poetry
and art came out of it,
but rage came out of it.
And boxing became
a tool for him.
Shandling:
You can't fake it in the ring.
You've got to really
know yourself.
And the punching and getting
punched has to be one.
It's a very soul-searching,
Zen kind of experience,
because you have somebody
throwing punches at you,
and you have
to transcend that,
which is like
transcending life.
( dings )
( punches landing )
Berg:
Nobody enjoys getting punched.
But some people seem to need
that every once in awhile.
And I think he wanted
to feel that pain.
Garry and I
started this gym.
And this gym
and these people
were a very valuable component
to Garry.
Nobody knew who he was here
other than,
"Garry from the boxing gym."
"Garry who liked to punch and
liked to talk about fighting."
I mean, he would go up
to Ukrainian fighters
when he was hosting the Emmys
and pitch them jokes.
And then not do the joke
if they didn't laugh.
If they didn't laugh.
Oh, he took it very seriously.
Announcer:
Garry Shandling!
( applause )
Apatow:
Well, he was obsessed
with reinventing the Emmys
and worked so hard
on the Emmys,
like it was a giant Garry
comedy special.
Thank you.
This is great. I got to look
at Brad Pitt all night.
Great. It's like looking
at a mirror, isn't it?
( laughter )
I love "The Sopranos."
It's a fantastic show.
- ( applause )
- Here's what flipped me out,
is in the first episode,
Tony Soprano's mother
is literally planning
to have him killed.
That's why I admire
Italian women.
Jewish moms drag it out
a whole lifetime.
( laughter )
I like "Sex and the City,"
but, of course, why wouldn't I?
I mean, it's about four
sexually frustrated women
who sit around talking.
I particularly like, frankly,
the older one.
Wait, I'm sorry.
I'm thinking of "The View."
You know, I shave one leg
so when I'm in bed
it feels like
I'm with a woman.
Listen, you know,
you should come on our show
- and just do a part.
- Oh, "Sex and the City"?
I should be. I have an idea,
actually, for that.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
But it's pretty provocative.
Well, that's perfect.
What is it?
- Well, now's not the time.
- No, no, man. Just tell me.
( chuckles )
What do you think?
Shandling:
That was a kickass show,
I have to say.
It got these great reviews.
And I remember walking off
after those four
live hours of TV,
and my best buddy
at the time
was sitting next to me
in a chair.
And I looked at him and I said,
"I think that's it
for a while."
I'd just been on a dead run.
I hadn't really lived.
I'd devoted myself
to working.
So then I started traveling
and growing up
in a more real way.
I'm wearing now... I'm not
wearing any mosquito repellent,
and I'm wearing new car smell.
That stuff you spray in cars.
All the kids think I've got
a new car back in America.
Which I don't,
but I smell like a new car.
Do you think I look fat?
How old do you think I look?
( lowing )
What do I weigh?
How old do I look? How old...
how old do I look?
Oh, here comes a bus.
This is good.
I'll take the average
of what they tell me.
What do I weigh?
( music playing )
Apatow:
How hard is it to slow down,
take breaks, to, you know,
not feel the need to be the most
mega-successful person?
Like, what is the challenge...?
I wouldn't know what that
feels like, Judd.
- ( Apatow laughs )
- I wouldn't know.
( laughs )
It's fuckin' terrifying.
It's fuckin'
terrifying.
Because, what if
the train leaves
and you can never
get back on?
That's the key.
What if it leaves,
and I can never get back on?
And they go,
"Too bad, dude,
"you looked a gift horse
in the mouth.
You should never
have done that."
But I've gone through a bunch
of different times
in my life like that,
and I think Garry was definitely
going through a...
an identity crisis at first,
and then acceptance.
of, like, well,
if I can show up
and be at sea level
and be really Garry.
If I can be
completely authentic,
then I'll show up.
Otherwise, fuck you.
Whatever I'm risking,
I'm risking to be myself,
to be authentic.
But, like all comics,
at some point,
you starting going,
"Can I survive without it?
Who am I without it?"
( music playing )
Kevin Smith:
I've always wondered,
is there something of, like,
Alexander, you get to the end
of the known world,
you've, like,
"I conquered it all,"
and you weep,
because there's like,
"I've done it."
Like, once you to do something
like a "Larry Sanders,"
it's just like, you...
and you walk away, that's it.
You don't have to do anything
again until the end of time
if you don't want to.
Shandling:
Someone said to me,
"Why don't you come back on TV
and do another series?"
And I said, "Yeah,
I'm thinking of doing a reality
show called,
'Oh, No, Not Him Again.'"
( laughs )
Woman:
This is sequence 201, take one.
- When you guys are ready.
- Shandling: Okay, yeah.
I think it's a little simpler,
huh?
Man:
I know you're not.
Apatow:
I remember when he did
the voice of the turtle
in "Over the Hedge."
That was very satisfying.
And, by the way,
lots of fiber in there, too.
Apatow:
It was the type of job that you
could've just read the lines
and it would've been
a fun thing to do.
But he took it on himself
to help with the rewrites.
Would walk into those sessions
angry at some times.
I'm with you, I'm with you.
Grayson:
You know, this was not
a gig for Garry.
This was something
that he had to make
as good as it could
possibly be.
Man:
What is that thing?
Ozzie?
Ozzie, get up.
I know you're not dead.
I can hear you--
Ozzie, get up.
I know you're not dead.
I can-- I can see you
breathing.
I can do this.
Karey Kirkpatrick:
At times, I guess
it was maddening.
It's a little maddening when
you're in a recording session
and the clock is ticking.
But, ultimately,
I really respected it,
because it was the craft
of the joke writing.
It was kind of the first time I
had ever worked with somebody
with that level of detail.
The line I had was
"Oh, yeah, you're dead.
You're dead this time."
But I don't know that it's going
to track. It's "Ozzie, get up."
Kirkpatrick:
He'd have the script,
with just tons
of alternates.
Constantly, constantly looking
for the best version.
There's lines like,
"I don't venture out much."
There's even places in my shell
I haven't been.
Kirkpatrick:
And they were doing a plan,
RJ, the Bruce Willis
character says...
Okay, step two.
Kirkpatrick:
And Garry added...
I thought we'd be dead
by step two,
so this is going great.
Kirkpatrick:
Garry had spent four years
working on "Over the Hedge,"
and really put
a lot of himself into it.
- You're the devil.
- ( screams )
I don't think he's able
to shut off that quest for--
I guess, people
might say perfectionism,
but it's a quest
for excellence.
The best version
of whatever he's doing,
especially when it comes
to the funny.
I would like to mention
now that I appreciate
everybody who's
piecing this together.
I am now going to do it assuming
it's being pieced together.
So, I appreciate it.
Hope your family's happy
and you're happy.
I appreciate the help
in making it look like
a continuous
performance.
Feel free to play this tape
at the animated audio awards
that are in Culver City,
I think, this year.
Have a great time,
and if you need me to present
something for you, I will.
Just really appreciative
for everybody who's there.
Apatow:
Garry would always say to me,
"When people ask how I'm doing,
what do you say?"
- Duchovny: Right.
- Then I would say,
"I always say Garry is either
"the happiest person I know,
or has completely
lost his mind."
And he would say,
"Yeah, that's about right."
( both laugh )
- And that brought him
comfort in some way.
- Right.
But it was hard to know
what was going on.
Duchovny: Garry was a guy
that people asked about.
Like, if you were known
as one of Garry's friends,
people would ask you
about Garry.
- People were concerned.
- Maybe.
Some people were concerned.
Some people...
some people never understood
why he wasn't working more.
You know, it was like,
they would see a guy
with all this talent
and they would go, "Why doesn't
Garry do another show?"
"What's he doing?
Why isn't he doing something?"
- Apatow: Yeah.
- And at a certain point, I...
you know, I was just like,
"He doesn't want to work."
But, at a certain point, I said,
"Well, what does he have to do?
"He just did two seminal
television series.
I mean, what more do you want?"
Garry had hit home runs twice.
He had two Super Bowl rings.
And I didn't think he felt
he could do it again,
because he had given everything.
And that was it.
I think his whole
methodology
was to basically fall over
the finish line for something.
Duchovny:
I feel like that ambition
had kind of left him.
I think he was trying
to find the next question
that was going
to interest him.
And whatever form
that was going to take.
- ( groans )
- Shandling: Dan?
- Yeah.
- Come on in.
- Wait a minute.
- You know what we'll do?
- What?
- Do this another time.
( laughs ):
Oh, come on!
- Hey, Garry.
- Hi, Dan.
How are you doing?
Good to see you.
The great Pete Tolan,
who's eating my nuts.
And that's not the first time,
by the way.
Tolan:
The next time, weirdly,
that I saw him as focused
in his way was doing
the "Sanders" DVD set,
which he put tremendous
amount of energy into.
As you know, I don't tape
any of my sexual encounters,
because it requires me spending
too much time in editing.
( laughs )
Apatow:
And so the extras became
this meta-examination
of the real people who made it,
and that was just as fascinating
to him as the actual show.
Shandling:
Yeah, let's go down this way.
What do you say?
Seinfeld:
Beautiful. Look at the light.
Shandling:
Light so far is good enough?
Is it good enough?
Look around.
I don't know
if I was on my...
I don't know if I was on
my game or not yet.
Editing puts you
on your game.
Well, but we want to...
we want to edit
very little of it.
We want it to be
natural, like this.
To be an actor is kind of
to say to the world,
"I have nothing to say,
"and I want to become
hugely famous
because I can say things that
other people will think of."
No, acting...
and the challenge of real
acting, and great acting,
is being able to bring up
certain human emotion
and be open.
Oh, please,
the human emotion.
You're duplicating human life
itself, in a way,
if you're connected
to what your own shit is.
- ( pretends to snore )
- Okay.
Fall asleep.
I guess.
That's fine.
And I'm not just
saying that.
It's just... it's...
I will say this--
go ahead.
- No, you will say this.
- I will say this.
People are always
putting these things
in front of their
statements.
"I'll say this."
"I'll tell you one thing."
- Okay, let me be honest.
- Question?
May I say something?
( laughs )
Out of the blue.
I'll tell you
what I think.
Here's a thought
that crossed my mind.
Now how about this?
I'll tell you what
nobody agrees with.
Let me bounce
something off you.
( both laughing )
Shandling:
What we're tending to do, Judd,
these conversations,
they're sort of running...
the feel is that
they're as-is.
So, there's places
where it isn't...
many places where
it isn't funny.
- Yeah, yeah.
- It's just laying there.
Is that conceivable
for a DVD track?
Apatow:
Yeah.
The marriage thing, Gar.
I said you do
look good.
I heard that.
The marriage thing.
What do you think? Do you think
it's something you can do?
I mean, I don't know
that there's the right person,
been the right reasons,
in the right time,
in the right maturity
on my level.
I don't know.
I'd want to do it
for the right reason.
What would
a right reason be?
I'm not sure if I know,
but I think I would see it
when it was there.
Tell me what you want
to tell me about this.
Berg:
I will just never
forget him talking about
wanting to manipulate
expectation.
Shandling:
Always to extend compassion...
Compassion to all the sentient
beings in that direction.
- All sentient beings.
- Yeah.
Berg:
Trying to redefine
the physics
of conversation.
Exploring silence.
This is the most amazing
interview I've ever had.
Isn't that the idea?
You used to come over.
You never
come over anymore.
I guess you're busy.
Did you... did you turn
Jewish since I saw you last?
( laughs )
And he boxed
with Alec Baldwin here.
I mean, I remember
coming into the gym
and seeing Garry
and Alec Baldwin
beating the shit
out of each other.
Man:
Just dance around.
Step around. Step around.
Hands up. Step around.
Step.
( both grunting )
Oh, damn. Time, time.
So, do you think that fear
is what drives you sometimes,
and I'm not kidding,
in a scene?
Because you bring
a lot of power to a scene,
do you also go into a scene
and go, "I'm going to win this?"
- Yes. Yes.
- I'll be damned.
I go into the scene and I say,
"I'm going to--
I'm going to kick
your fuckin' ass."
- See? That's where power is.
- If that's what the scene
requires.
- That's what your essence is.
- I'm going to win.
- Mine is more dancing around.
- I'm going to win.
What was your experience when
you came in to do that episode?
I was scared to death of you.
I could tell you were
one of those comedy cannibals
that was going to rip my head
off and cook it and eat it
right there
if you wanted to.
Well, see,
I don't think that's true,
but that is what I feel with you
when you're in the ring.
- You see?
- Isn't that funny?
- Yup. That's what I feel.
- So now you have a little bit
of a taste of how I felt
back in 1992.
- But, see, I would--
- How do you like it?
I wouldn't...
- Come on, Garry.
- I'm sorry we decided to...
- Too much talk.
- You know, Dave,
I say full contact
in a second.
- I don't care if I die.
- ( man laughs )
Within that weird space
of a DVD extra,
he put as much effort
as he did...
- More.
- ...to making "Larry Sanders."
More. He put more into it.
Seinfeld:
The thing about television
is that it always wins
in the end.
In other words, those...
these shows that we have,
if we didn't kill them,
they would kill us.
Berg:
And that's truly the definition
of an artist.
Shandling:
What do you think
I should do next?
Uh...
I would say two words.
Because, you've got good...
I would say this.
...objective.
I think lighten up.
Yeah.
This is actually going
to make me cry.
This is the most fun I've had
in a couple years.
- Tom Petty: Yeah. I feel good.
- Don't you? Seriously.
You know, you were under a lot
of pressure from time to time.
It was unbearable.
Yeah, and then you had
the lawsuit and the whole...
- I shouldn't mention--
- Yeah, you can.
Because we've talked about it.
It just made it very hard.
I mean, God, I really
felt bad for you, you know.
We were both...
I was getting a divorce
and you were getting sued,
so we were
perfect company.
You know?
We could just
bitch endlessly.
But it was true.
We were just destroyed.
And look at you now.
I mean, you've come
out of it.
You're making a DVD.
( laughs )
Apatow:
Garry was doing his DVD extras,
and he was going to talk
to Ricky Gervais for that.
And Ricky was doing a series
for English television
where he had conversations with
different comedians he admired.
- Right.
- And they were supposed to do
Garry's DVD part first.
And when Garry got home,
Ricky Gervais was
completely set up.
Grayson:
They were shooting already.
Two years' worth of salad there
for me. What's in this one?
Ice lollies and vodka.
That's the fake one,
for filming, with the salad.
That's the real one.
And Garry walks into being shot
without anybody telling him
we're about to shoot.
When he was in the kitchen,
he was livid.
Why did you ruin
that moment by looking?
- ( laughs )
- How did you get in?
How did you-- was that you
that was looking--?
- Gervais: It's your house.
- Was that you
- that was looking this way?
- Gervais: No.
Who was looking right here
when I was walking in?
When I was standing out there,
didn't you see
that I was walking in?
- No.
- Was that you?
First you said,
"No, that wasn't me."
No, I didn't see you.
I swear, I didn't--
Well, now you're
changing the story
to, "It was me,
but I didn't see you."
That's true, but you said
"Is it you that looked out
there?"
What I was doing was talking
to my producer that was here.
What's interesting is,
and I love Ricky Gervais,
is Ricky Gervais'--
the series of eyes was going,
"Where am I? What's going on?
I am scared."
Well, where do you want
to do this interview, then?
I don't know, by the kitchen
sink isn't so bad.
I just need to put
my contact lenses on, Ricky.
Good. We can get this.
This is dynamite.
Don't do it over the sink.
What if it goes down the plug?
What are you, controlling?
How long you think I've been
wearing contact lenses?
You're giving me advice of how
to put my contact lens in?
It's a nice house.
It's a little eye
into a gear that Garry had
when his anger came out, and...
and when he felt abused
in some way.
- Yeah.
- That wouldn't come up often,
but that was the look.
I'm looking at you.
You wore black.
And I was worried
I didn't make an effort.
I can't tell
what you do on purpose
to make yourself look that way
and what you don't.
I don't know what
your choices are.
I don't need to tell you...
I want to get
onto this, actually.
The ego of the comedian.
Do we care about
how good we look?
I think that is not the ego
of a comedian.
I think that's ego, period.
- ( cell phone rings )
- That's my ass detector,
and it's gone off
because you're here.
Come this way.
Come into the garden.
I want to show you something.
Apatow:
Garry said that on some level,
he was creating some sort
of moment that was awkward.
And, in some sense,
teaching Ricky Gervais to be
present in his performance.
Yeah. Oh, that's correct.
It was almost like
the psychologist
teaching the patient.
- Here's what I want to do.
- Go on.
I want to take a minute
without thinking right now.
Okay. What do you mean?
Tell me what you mean.
No, I don't know.
What do you want me to do?
- Nothing.
- Okay. All right.
Absolutely nothing.
And not even think.
Okay.
We're taking a break.
Don't even think.
Do you mean do you want
to take a break?
- No.
- Okay, all right.
Okay, all right.
I'm up for that.
I'm thinking.
I got to be honest.
I'm thinking. I can't not think.
I see it in your work.
It's valuable in your work.
Do you know how valuable
not thinking is in your work?
No.
It's like he wanted
to get deeper into the truth.
Yes, yup.
And he was stripping
away artifice.
And then he keeps
stripping it away
until finally it's him
confronting his ex-fiance.
- Yeah, I mean-- yeah.
- On camera.
- And they have it out
for the DVD extra.
- ( laughs )
Hi, Garry.
- Let's just take this beat.
- Yeah.
So when was the last time
I saw you?
Wow.
( exhales )
Couple years,
at least, right?
- A few years.
- Is it?
And you have a child?
- Yeah.
- You didn't bring him?
No.
Not my child?
No.
Get that straight
right now.
Yeah.
That's a whole 'nother
can of worms.
Well, you wanted to get--
you can talk about it.
I just wanted a baby,
and he gave me a job.
( laughs )
( sniffles )
My personal observation is...
it was hard for both of us
to go on without each other.
In my opinion.
Human nature drove my decision
to find a good man--
a primal need--
to be the father
of my child.
And I...I got to do that.
But as far as soul mate
and the connection,
we had that.
I thought that he would perhaps
be in another relationship,
but he wasn't.
( music playing )
Apatow:
It seems like there's
something in Buddhism
and that type of thought that
lends itself to being solitary.
There's very little in it
that's about connecting
and figuring out the dance
with another person.
So, when you are thinking
about that exclusively
in your spiritual life,
it's not directing you
towards a partnership.
It's directing you
to let go of all attachments.
Look, I got this tattoo.
I haven't shown anybody.
It's a Buddhist symbol
for emptiness.
Ego emptiness.
It's a circle.
It's the empty circle.
Are you a Buddhist now?
Well, I mean,
I've been meditating
as long as I've known you,
but I wouldn't classify it
as one thing or the other.
- As one particular thing.
- No.
( music playing )
Silverman:
I think he turned to Buddhism,
and that was what
he put so much
of his time
and his love into.
But it's not because he's Zen.
It's because he was in
desperate need of being Zen.
So he had rage.
He could really hold on to stuff
and be troubled by things that
to other people
might seem small.
But he was always
working on that, you know?
Always trying to process it
and understand it and...
just from losing a brother.
But that was never
really what it was about.
It was about a mother
losing a son.
And I don't know
that he was able
to really have feelings
around it.
And those feelings
had to go somewhere.
( audience laughing )
Shandling:
My mother, I swear to you,
asked me if I was gay.
Last month I was in Arizona,
where my mother lives,
and I'm driving her
across town.
And, she says,
"Who are you dating?"
And I don't tell my mother
anyone that I'm dating,
because it always would result
in a fight.
My mother's deeply
conflicted.
She wants to have
grandchildren,
but I don't think she wants me
to have them with another woman.
( laughter )
So...
seriously.
My mother wants
to marry me.
I told my shrink that and he...
he did something I've only seen
blackjack dealers do.
He looked at me and went...
My mother...
( cheers and applause )
Really, I wish
it was funny to me.
( music playing )
David Josephs:
She really... okay,
had a mental illness,
that's the bottom line.
And she needed to be
on medication.
And she needed treatment.
And we could just never
get her to do that.
We tried and we tried
and we tried.
If that had been done,
she would have been
much better,
and everything
would have been easier.
The ironic thing
was he tried so hard,
and every time it blew up.
Okay, Garry was, like,
going to confront her
and go out to the cemetery
where Barry was, and Irv,
and have a conversation
about it, you know?
What he went through,
and being sent away
and not going
to the funeral.
She didn't want to hear it.
You know, she took it
as a personal attack.
You know, so after that
he never came back.
That was it.
But to me, in the end,
it's about forgiveness.
Because no matter what
the story is,
and her mental illness
and all the rest,
and everything
that was done,
if you can't get to forgiveness
and acceptance,
then you're carrying that shit
with you.
Saget:
Every couple years,
we'd see each other.
Not enough for my taste.
You know, I saw him once
and I said,
"Garry, I just...
"I can't spend
the rest of my life
"not being able
to be friends with you
and not being able
to talk with you."
And he said, "Okay."
And he took out his phone.
It was like, bam.
It was like, you know,
20 years, no problem.
Splice it together.
And then we just started
doing cock jokes.
I'm sorry,
that was our connection.
( Apatow laughs )
Saget:
And I kept trying to reach out
to him after that.
I always tried
to reach out to him.
But he didn't--
he didn't answer.
And so that's...
that's where the sadness
comes in for me.
That's the thing.
If he didn't love me
and he just flat out hated me
and felt betrayed,
that's one thing.
But if in his heart he loved me,
then we were on the same page.
And I don't know
if it's fixable
because of all the stuff
that happens,
but love is love.
And there ain't a lot of it
in this life.
Not enough.
Leno:
All right my first guest,
an old buddy of mine,
Emmy-winning actor, writer,
comedian, raconteur.
His latest film is the animated
hit "Over the Hedge,"
which is playing
in theaters everywhere.
Please welcome,
the lovely Garry Shandling.
Garry Shandling
is over here.
David Letterman:
Here he is, Garry Shandling.
- Ten years.
- It's been 10 years
since you were here.
- Isn't that remarkable?
- It's remarkable.
And is there a problem?
No.
I mean, I think that you and I
have a fantastic relationship.
I love you very much.
- ( laughs )
- I thought...
I thought the last time I was
here I didn't plug anything.
I just came to see you.
- Which I appreciate...
- But, I love you.
I love you as well,
and I think it's important
that we get together
once a decade.
I don't take Viagra,
because I don't want
another erection.
Really?
You tell me one
that hasn't gotten me
into some complicated mess.
I'm telling you, if you don't
get an erection, as a wise man
I can give you advice:
listen to it.
It probably knows
better than you.
Your life is fantastic.
You've got the...
I don't have kids yet,
I haven't had a bypass yet.
( laughs )
You're way ahead of me.
And I salute you,
because most of my friends
have it the other way around.
They have the kids,
then the bypass.
The show was slightly
ahead of its time.
It kicked off all these
other comedies.
Good show.
Do you miss doing the show?
I don't know
who to answer.
I...
I miss doing... did I what?
He keeps looking at my hair
while he's talking.
It's spellbinding.
No, I'm not looking
at your hair.
There's a little thing
called product.
Listen...
Bill Maher:
We're on the internet now,
Garry.
Wow.
( laughing )
I can't tell you the last time
I was this thrilled.
- ( beeping )
- That's my cell phone.
I forgot
to turn it off.
Now, I understand that you box.
Is that right?
I go to this little private gym.
It's next to a synagogue.
And...
I was having a real good--
I've gotten good.
I was beating up a guy...
I... good last week,
and then it turns out
I had gone in the wrong door.
- Mm.
- And...
Really?
I was beating...
( applause )
I'm sorry for the pacing.
And it turns out, I was beating
the crap out of the rabbi.
And I was thinking,
that's a small
head protector he's got.
And, you know, I'm catching him
all over the place
and the crowd is going crazy.
I thought,
"This is what it's about."
And then the cops came in.
The cops came in,
pulled me off him
and they said it's the most
violent Passover service
they'd ever seen.
- Would you ever...
- Commit suicide?
Yeah. Well, I guess
it's committing suicide, yeah.
- I've written a note.
- You have?
You have it ready?
No, you haven't
written a note.
- I did.
- Really? What...?
"I'm not mad at anyone.
This is just something
I wanted to do for myself."
( laughs )
That's my suicide note.
Hey, I'm looking for someone
to do the forward for the note.
If you would do it,
that would be fantastic.
"I know Garry
is a very stable man."
Are you writing my forward now?
Is that what you just did?
- Yeah. I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
Well, how would you write--
what forward would you write
for my suicide note?
"The loss to the comedy world
is insurmountable.
But he wasn't doing that much
anyway just before he died,
so maybe it was
the right thing."
- ( laughter )
- Yeah.
Shandling:
Hey, Kevin, it's Garry.
Brother.
Basketball on Sunday.
I hope you can make it.
If the weather's like this,
it'll be really pleasant,
won't it?
( static crackles )
Okay, I can be spacier
than this, my friend...
Radio host:
From NPR News,
this is "Day to Day."
Los Angeles is embroiled in
it's own wire-tapping scandal,
and it has all the makings
of a film noir.
Indictments are flying
in a case
involving private eye
Anthony Pellicano.
He was allegedly paid
to spy on scores
of Hollywood celebrities,
including Keith Carradine,
Sylvester Stallone
and Garry Shandling.
Shandling:
Give me a call
when you get this, bye.
Apatow:
In the period when Garry
was doing the lawsuit,
he used to say, "I think
they're bugging my phone."
I remember there was a guard out
front of his house a long time.
And he put cameras
out front of his house.
And it felt very paranoid.
Everybody thought Garry
was getting paranoid.
And then when Anthony Pellicano
was arrested, years later,
they said that he was
bugging Garry's phone.
And, you know, there was a sigh
of relief that he was actually--
- Being bugged.
- Being bugged. Yeah.
Radio host 1:
Private investigator
Anthony Pellicano
is on trial in federal district
court in Los Angeles.
DeBecker:
Pellicano was a private
investigator
and was making a name for
himself as being the enforcer,
or the guy who could
fix anything.
Radio host 2:
Powerhouse Hollywood attorney
Burt Fields
used Pellicano extensively.
He hasn't been indicted,
but he said he was brought in
for questioning.
He worked for an attorney
named Burt Fields often,
who was the attorney
that was against Garry
in the lawsuit that he brought
against Brad Grey.
Radio host 2:
Paramount chief Brad Grey was
questioned by the grand jury.
Among the scores of victims...
Apatow:
How did they find out
that Pellicano
was connected
to Garry's case?
It all stemmed from my case.
Radio host 3:
Pellicano was accused
of threatening
LA Times reporter
Anita Busch
by having a fish and a rose
placed in her car
along with bullet-sized hole
in the windshield.
Anita Busch:
They raided Pellicano's office.
They ended up finding
reams of wiretaps,
and in that was
the wire-tapping of Garry.
News reporter:
Thousands of hours
of illegal recordings.
Man:
Garry Shandling was subjected
to endless wiretaps.
He kept trying
to figure out how it is
that the people
he was negotiating with
seemed to know his every move
before he did.
And Garry was asked
to testify in the case?
Yes, and "ask"
is the right word,
because you don't
have to do that.
( music playing )
Whenever you worked
with Garry as a lawyer,
you said, "Okay no jokes."
But at the beginning,
as the government lawyer
began with sort of
the standard question,
"What do you do for a living?"
And Garry gave that groan.
"That's a bad sign."
( music playing )
Busch:
The experience through
the Anthony Pellicano case,
that kind of darkness
being around you,
it just affects you.
Being a victim of crime
brings you to your knees,
and it's really hard to get up
and stand up from that.
It doesn't matter who you are
or what status you have.
It's... it's hard
to bring yourself back up.
It's hard to bring
your confidence back up.
It's hard to just
stand again.
He had PTSD.
There's no doubt about it.
And it destroyed his belief
system in all that was good.
It affected him
on a cellular level.
It hurt him mentally.
It hurt his confidence.
It hurt him spiritually.
He really felt after
the Brad lawsuit
and the drama
around Brad that...
that it had hurt him a lot.
He showed me once
two videos.
He said, "Look at that.
That's what I was like.
That's the energy I had before."
And he said, "Look at this."
Man:
Are we rolling?
DeBecker:
And he really felt his energy
had gone down enormously.
Sometimes I don't know
when to be funny.
Because I can be funny
at the drop of a hat,
except sometimes
you can't find a hat.
Then you're fucked.
O'Brien:
By the time I'm doing
"The Tonight Show..."
So, a big congratulations.
O'Brien:
...I sensed someone
who was really struggling.
...comfortable.
There's no view,
so to say.
No windows.
He was very neurotic.
And I'd go and talk to him
backstage beforehand,
and a lot of notes,
and a lot of half-apologies,
and a lot of, "Maybe I'll do..."
you know?
And me talking... kind of
talking him down off a ledge,
saying-- I said to him, "Garry,
we're just gonna go out there,
and it's gonna be you and me,
and we're gonna have fun."
And he'd be like, "Yes, yes,
that's what I need to hear.
"That's what I need to hear.
Yes, yes, yes, that's good.
That's positive.
I can use that. You're right."
I'm for gay...
I'm okay with gay marriage,
but they're not...
they're letting gay divorce
slide by.
They're not focusing...
I wouldn't want
to see anybody get stuck
in a relationship
that they don't want to be in.
But they're going
to let that slide by,
and they're going to pass
gay marriage
and forget about gay divorce,
and they're going to have
to go through the whole thing
all over again.
You mean there's going to be
a national debate?
"I hate him as much as straight
people hate each other.
We're entitled
to our hatred, too."
This is where you jump in
and help me.
( laughs )
No, no, no.
This is great.
I seem to recall
"The Tonight Show"
about the host helping out.
I remembered feeling,
this is a rocky ride
and then there'd be something
really funny,
but then the audience
would laugh,
and the laugh might not be
where he wanted it to be,
and I could see him
get thrown a little bit.
Like, well, why are they
laughing at that?
Too hyper self-aware.
I have a security camera.
I have a security camera at my
house, but I have it reversed.
I have it... it shoots
my living room
and there's a screen
outside in front
so you can watch as you go by,
because that's how much...
( laughing )
That's how much I love
being on TV.
And then I hear somebody
go by and I go,
"Hey, how are you doing?"
into my security camera.
Into your security camera.
That's a very nice
system you have.
I don't remember
being this forced
when I did the show last time.
( music playing )
Berg:
Something definitely
was blocking him.
There were times when he was
almost non-lucid.
Maybe it was drugs or whatever.
But even in those moments there
were these really articulate,
bright, cutting comments
that made it impossible
to gauge, you know,
what was really going on.
I felt like he really was
almost creatively paralyzed
for a long time.
( indistinct chatter )
Johnson:
You brought gifts!
- Silverman: Whoa.
- Johnson: Yay!
Okay, I'm not good
at breaking the silence.
I want a little love.
- Oh, yeah, yeah!
- Shandling: Don't overdo it.
Give me more love.
Isaacson:
He had years
where he would say,
"I just don't feel that well."
You know what it's like
when you get--
- "How do I look?"
- Yeah.
"I don't know
if I'm working out enough.
I think I put on five pounds."
No, this is...
this is not even
in the ballpark.
It's just that I'm a little
heavier than you think I am.
Isaacson:
But there was this
underlying thing
for several years
of him being concerned
that he didn't feel that well.
- ( camera shutters click )
- Photographer: Awesome.
Good.
- I look good.
- Photographer: Good, yeah.
- That's nice.
- Now does it look, conceivably,
as though I can't
stand up?
( laughs )
That, as the years have gone by,
I can no longer stand?
- Huh?
- Photographer: Very strong.
Does it look like
a choice?
Or does it look like
I'm having a stroke?
Look, this is from
talking to Rip.
And this is from telling Rip
that it's going to be okay.
All right, Gar...
That's the only one, right?
You're gonna be
wearing the coat.
I sweat Agent Orange.
I sweat Agent Orange.
That shirt can't be used again.
An actor prepares.
The inside of his jacket's
soaking wet, too.
Man, I'm...
Why am I... I sweat?
Apatow:
Somewhere in there,
he's having a thyroid problem.
But he didn't know
he had it.
He just said,
"It's the exact same feeling
you would think you would get
from aging."
And that he thought,
"Oh, I must be
just getting older."
But really, he was sick.
Grayson:
Yeah, he was ill.
I was with him the day that
he was doubled over in pain.
He goes, "I got to go home.
I can't do this anymore."
And that was when he had
acute pancreatitis.
And they traced it
to his thyroid.
They took out the thyroid,
and he felt better instantly.
And he thought
he was home free.
And then it was apparent that
he had a secondary condition,
which can sometimes happen
if you wait too long.
If this... so, you know,
he might have had
low-threshold pain
for a long time
and was not talking about it.
But he had cysts
on his pancreas.
And so...
And that surgery
is a life-threatening surgery.
Yeah, they have to go
so far internally
to get to the pancreas that it
is one of those major surgeries.
Like open-heart, you know?
( music playing )
Alex Richanbach:
When I first met him,
he was really sick.
And that's a weird way
to get to know a person,
because I didn't know that
this was different for him.
You know?
I just knew that this was, like,
off-camera Garry.
We're going to say
"Merry Christmas"
from Alex Richanbach, and then
you say, "Garry Shandling."
- No, I will not.
- ( laughs )
Two Jews on Christmas...
We were talking about
doing this documentary.
Merry Christmas,
from Alex Richanbach...
- And Garry Shandling.
- ( laughs )
About the secret
Garry Shandling
Sunday basketball game.
And as we were talking
about the documentary,
I kept on meeting
with all these people.
And what I found was, I guess,
people would talk about it
they'd almost tear up,
because it was family,
and Garry was such an important
part of everybody's life.
Shandling:
Come on over here.
I'll show you this.
Or I can bring it there,
if you want.
Why don't we meet halfway?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, David Duchovny gave me this,
and it's a monk...
it's monks playing basketball
in New York.
And so this is the feeling
of the game, isn't it?
Richanbach:
The game evolved
out of the seven-day workweeks
on "Sanders,"
and needing an afternoon
that wasn't in the office.
He used to always say, like,
he wanted it to be
a childlike experience,
where you could just come
and play basketball
and eat pizza and watch TV.
And he got to create the thing
he didn't have growing up,
which was just this day of
playing basketball every week
with friends.
Apatow:
And when he was going in
for the major pancreas surgery,
he was getting
his estate in order.
He really thought
there was a chance
he wasn't going
to get through it.
Do you remember how he prepared
or how he talked about it?
Richanbach:
Basically he was like,
"This could be it.
"I could die on the table.
"And so I need to let you know
that the next, you know,
"six weeks or so
could be the last six weeks.
"So we should hang out and we
should do some fun things,
"and hopefully the surgery
just makes me feel better,
but maybe it won't."
He did a really good job
of focusing himself
on those kind of tenets
of Buddhism
and trying to be at peace
with what he was going into.
But to that point,
I think it was so that
he would survive it.
You know, he wanted
to survive it.
( music playing )
Richanbach:
The Garry Shandling.
What up, Alex?
I had...
I think I'm going to be able
to play basketball,
like, within...
tonight if not
tomorrow night.
I can't make myself laugh,
so this would work out.
( clears throat )
It's good when you have some
time in the hospital
to think about the things
that you need to get done.
So I can...
you know, get some
new basketballs and a...
a net.
Should get a net.
And...
can't wait to get
on the court.
Pete Holmes:
It's a silly place to start
because it's so blunt,
but we always
talk about death.
Like, what do you think
is death?
And you think
it's just the end?
Shandling:
Let me... let me assure you,
and this isn't a joke,
is the older I get,
the more often I think,
am I-- "Are we there yet?"
( Holmes laughs )
Holmes:
Meaning you are ready?
Or just,
this is a long trip?
Shandling:
Both.
It's like if you were
on a car trip
going across the country
or something,
and as you get closer,
you can sense that
you're getting closer.
I used to say, "Life is short,
but not short enough."
( Holmes laughs )
You know, he kept on...
he was fragile
in that year afterwards.
And then he started
to come out of that fragileness.
And he actually was thinking
about calling games.
I think he called one game,
to tell you the truth.
He was really actually
getting better--
you know,
trying to get better.
He was determined
to get better.
( indistinct chatter )
Man:
Have an idea what order
you want to do it?
Well, it's going to go Whitney,
me, Whitney, Garry,
and then depends on--
depending on if Louis shows up
or how much he wants to do...
You don't mind when I do
the Robin stuff
or any of that stuff?
You don't mind,
you know,
when I talk about being
older or stuff like that?
Apatow:
Oh, no. Yeah, no, please.
Whitney Cummings:
When's the last time
you were on stage?
I haven't been on stage
in a year and a half,
till Judd said,
"Come in and talk to me"...
- Cummings: That's so awesome.
- Shandling: ...two weeks ago.
Pauly Shore:
So, what's going on with you?
Because, 64 is still
very super young.
Like, why don't you get up
on that stage, you know?
So, I think that may be
what I do this year.
Shandling:
As you grow, you have to find
a new purpose and intention
for doing what you do,
or you won't grow.
So, I'm in the midst
of exploring my intention
for going on stage.
Cummings:
There he is!
- Judd and Garry Shandling!
- ( audience applauds )
Apatow:
Hey, Garry, I used to look
much younger than you,
and I feel like we look
close in age now.
Shandling:
Well, I looked in the mirror
the other day,
and I swear to you,
I thought, "My God,
I'm turning into
Garry Shandling."
( laughter )
And, I did not
see that coming, Judd.
I just did not see that coming.
And that's the truth.
Apatow:
I was doing a lot
of sets with him at Largo,
and he would come onstage.
And he really was trying
to be present
and almost wasn't
as concerned with the ideas
as much as something happening
and it's like he didn't care
if he had all the jokes.
He wanted moments
to happen onstage,
and he loved the idea
that they didn't laugh at all
then got home and slowly
put it together.
I'm sitting there watching CNN
when they break in and say
Robin Williams
passed away.
And I was frozen.
I mean, really frozen.
It's horrible.
And then
Wolf Blitzer says,
"63 is so young."
And I looked up in hope
for a second.
( laughs )
And I realized,
they don't say 63 is young
except when somebody
passes away.
They don't say "63 is so young
to be still in the NFL."
Apatow:
It was like he had
to reinvent the form
to do it again.
And he didn't know
how he would reinvent it,
but he knew he was not
going to do what he did before.
You know, you've known me
for so long.
And so it's been hard
for me to decide
if I want to go back onstage
or not back onstage.
And this is like
splitting the difference.
Yeah.
( audience laughs )
Shandling:
I'm so happy to see you.
Really, I don't get out much.
I'm a stay-at-home comedian.
And that doesn't mean
I'm not any less funny
than the comedians who get out
and work the clubs.
If I was a woman right now,
you'd be going,
"Well, good for you.
Good for you."
You're a stay-at-home comedian.
That's work.
I'm still single.
I've been single my whole life.
E-Harmony just matched me up
with a gun.
Everybody thinks you're weird
if you didn't get married,
yet the greatest
religious leaders,
like Jesus, and the pope,
and Buddha,
not married.
How fucked up are they?
Buddha didn't get married
because his wife
would have said,
"Are you going to sit around
like that all day?"
"No, I'm meditating, honey."
"Well, why don't you meditate
while you're taking out
the trash?"
I like Mexican people.
I don't care-- I'm not worried
about them taking my job.
I wish George Lopez was here
now to come up and finish this.
Still they're talking
about a wall,
after all this technology,
the way to protect us
from Mexico is a fuckin' wall.
Which I think they did
at the Alamo, didn't they?
Didn't they have a wall,
and then the Mexicans
had what you call...ladders.
I have a complete fear
about the Bible.
I was raised as a Jew,
but I kind of have
a Buddhist practice,
because I'm no fuckin' idiot.
The Jewish thing kills you.
You don't even need an accident.
It's just a slow drip, drip,
drip, kind of water torture.
You know, that's why I'm open
to people having marriages
if they're gay,
if it's two men, two women.
The two-women thing
only throws me
if it's two Jewish women,
'cause the idea of two Jewish
mothers makes my head explode.
I have to be honest.
I didn't start
to feel old or anything
until people would say,
"You look tired."
When I wasn't, right?
Not tired at all.
Sort of never felt better
in my life.
But, I mean,
like six times a day,
"You look...
you look tired."
Are those the people that when
they see someone dying, they go,
"You look fuckin' exhausted."
Apatow:
We used to share a shrink.
We went to the same
shrink for years.
And then Garry left the shrink
and didn't tell me.
You wait to get on TV
to get mad at me
about all these things.
But, you can't, like,
leave the shrink and not say,
"Hey, Judd, time to leave
the shrink."
Then, like,
five years later,
I'm like, "Hey, how are you
doing with him?"
And, he's like,
"Oh, I left five years ago."
- I'm like, "What?"
- Yeah, that was a masseuse.
Oh.
If you-- if you were
telling him your problems,
that's just a choice.
That's an unusual choice
that you took.
I go up onstage now
to be very real.
Like I fall into the trap
of performing, so to say.
I'm moving from doing
to being.
I love you guys.
That's all I know.
I really love you.
( audience applauds )
I try--
I try and rip this heart out
year after year,
but I still love you.
Woman:
We love you too, Garry.
- I love you, ma'am.
- Woman: We love you, Garry.
Kevin Smith:
There is no more act.
Life is the act.
You open up your mouth,
and it is the act.
Sacha Baron Cohen:
Garry, for me, was my mentor.
You know, he gave me
the confidence to think
that I could make
really funny stuff.
And, you know,
having a guy who I consider
the greatest comedian
in the world
saying you can do it
and you've got the potential
was immensely inspiring.
And then, he just helped out
with all the movies.
- Yeah.
- You know,
he saw potential in me
and you and McKay
and some others and said,
"All right," you know,
"I'm going to help these guys
achieve what they can achieve,
even if they don't know they're
capable of achieving it."
This guy just wanted
to make people feel better
and make people their best.
He did that for me when I was
doing "The 40-Year-Old Virgin."
He kept saying,
"The end has to be
about the fact
"that his sex is better than
everybody else's sex,
because he's really in love."
And I said,
"I can't show the sex.
I don't know how
to show great sex."
He's like, "You got to do it."
And then, he would call me
all the time and go,
- "Have you figured it out?"
- ( laughs )
And Carell just goes, "Well,
maybe I just sing a song."
Then peace will guide
The planets
And love will steer
The stars
This is the dawning...
- Apatow: In my head,
I'm putting everything
through a Garry filter.
Just trying to get as truthful
as you can be, no matter what.
And then he always felt like
the comedy would follow.
He's like this comic angel.
When you were in the shit,
he would appear.
And he was there to go,
"We can do it."
You know,
"You've got the talent,
you can make it right."
- ( artillery explosions )
- Fuck!
I think we can take them,
but we're gonna need a new spot!
Roger that!
Berg:
I never did a film
that I didn't have him come in
and do a Shandling pass at.
When I was getting ready
to make "Lone Survivor,"
Garry started talking to me,
and this was maybe
a four-hour conversation.
I'm not kidding,
literally for four hours
about why that movie
needed to be made,
what that movie was,
what brotherhood really is.
I don't know.
I never would have thought
Garry Shandling
would have been--
of everyone in my life,
that Garry Shandling
would've been my muse
in that movie.
Do you or do you not possess
a specialized weapon?
- I do not.
- You do not?
I do not. Well, it depends
on how you define
the word "weapon."
The Iron Man weapon.
Jon Favreau:
He had the kind of impact
where I thought I had
a special relationship with him
because he was a bit
of a mentor.
I would show him my scripts.
I would show him
cuts of my movie.
He would make the time for me.
But there were
dozens of people
who felt this deep connection
to the guy.
A whole generation, really,
of people coming up
and how generous he was
with his time.
Because I think he knew,
especially like the experience
he had with George Carlin,
a few words, well-placed,
can really change
the trajectory
of somebody's career.
Silverman:
He was so warm
and so supportive.
He was everything
he needed and was never given
for everyone.
He was so nice to me
for so long, and I thought,
I feel like he's trying to be
the parents he wishes he had.
He never guilts me
about anything.
Which, I always...
I was aware with Garry,
that he never plays on guilt.
And he did so many things
through us,
through you,
through Sacha,
through everyone
he touched.
Every single person.
I mean, I think he's affected
probably "NCIS" scripts somehow.
You know what I mean?
Like the "Garry effect" is,
I think, beyond what any of us
can really imagine.
( music playing )
Kevin Nealon:
He would make you feel
so good about yourself.
Every time I talked to him,
"Kevin, you're at the top
of your game.
You've never been funnier,
and you're looking good."
And he genuinely-- he wanted
things to happen for everybody.
Apatow:
I think he felt
a calling to be a monk.
- Nealon: Yeah.
- Apatow: He felt some calling
to mentor people.
Nealon:
He was a mentor to so
many comics and writers.
Some people would say,
you know, you've done...
"It's Garry Shandling's Show"
and "Larry Sanders."
What's your next thing?
And the next thing was us.
You know,
it was all of us.
O'Brien:
When the whole thing
blew up for me,
"The Tonight Show,"
I thought "I just have
to get out of town."
So we flew to Hawaii,
and I was going to just
stay in my room
and try and sort through
this madness
that I had just
been through.
And the phone rings.
I'm alone for literally
about a minute.
And the phone rings and I pick
it up, and I go, "Hello?"
And I hear, like, "Conan?"
And I'm like, "Yeah."
"It's Garry Shandling."
( laughs )
And I thought
he was calling from...
And I said, "Where are...
you calling from L.A.?"
Are you calling
from New York?"
And he said,
"I'm four bungalows down.
I heard you're here."
And his attitude was,
"there's no escaping me."
We spent... this was a week
I was supposed to spend
with my wife and kids,
I spent the entire week
with Garry Shandling.
- ( audience applauds )
- Yeah, it was...
And I'll tell you something.
I was at a real low point.
He counseled me,
he cheered me up,
he told me jokes,
he talked to me
about philosophy,
he talked to me about
how there are bigger things
in the world
and how I was going to be fine.
He'd talk about
Eckhart Tolle.
He went-- about all this
amazing stuff.
We took this really
long walk.
We climbed over
lava formations.
We went to this far part
of the island,
and we saw a little
stretch of sand,
and we laid down on it.
And the sun
started to go down.
And we're both watching the sun
go down.
And I turned to Garry
and I said,
"Garry, this is the most
romantic moment of my life,
and it's with you."
I just hope that he was
able to feel
some sense of how much
he meant to people.
That would be my wish,
is that he was able
to understand
what a quality person he was.
Shandling:
It all comes around.
And I get a great joy
and learn myself
about where I'm at
by helping.
And I think I do.
I think I do help,
and I think I do learn.
- I love you.
- Love you, too.
I really did...
- Look at you.
- Look at you.
- You look great.
- ( laughs )
Nice, strong shoulders.
Well, I got some more
working out to do,
but we'll talk
about that.
I got to catch up
on my training.
Could I take
a quick leak?
- Yeah. The-- You use
the women's or the...?
- ( chuckles )
Seinfeld:
When's the last time
you were here?
- This is the Comedy Store.
- Seinfeld: Huh?
It's always tough for me
at the Comedy Store.
There's a vibe
that never changes.
Never. It's horrible.
But let's deal with it.
Come on.
I know.
This is a little
uncomfortable for me.
- Shandling: This is...
- Seinfeld: Garry.
-I'm telling you.
- I used to stand here
and watch you.
- I would stand right here.
- Oh!
This really is a killer.
- Isn't this a killer?
- Because I have not been in...
to hang out with you here
is genius.
Genius that we came here.
John, Garry's 8 x 10 is right
over his head there.
Just kind of
put that together.
Shandling:
There's a big picture of me.
Someone sent me a big
picture of me from here.
It's just all embarrassing,
because I don't know
how to relate to the...
I don't know
who that guy is.
- Am I right?
- Yeah.
Suli McCullough:
With "Comedians in Cars,"
we had talked about
using that as a vehicle
to really talk
about his spirituality
and be really funny
in the process.
Like, what I thought
was really great about it
was how funny he was.
Seinfeld:
You know David Brenner
passed away last year.
All that material,
he worked so hard on it.
It's just gone.
It doesn't mean anything
to anyone anymore.
It took so much work
to create it.
That material
and your material
is purely a vehicle
for you to express
your spirit and your soul
and your being,
and that's why
you're fantastic.
So it doesn't have
any value beyond that?
It doesn't have
any value beyond
you expressing yourself
spiritually
in a very soulful,
spiritual way.
It's why you're on
the planet.
God, open up the sunroof.
What year is this?
You know, because he was...
he was out of the limelight
in a lot of ways,
and people were wanting
to know what he's doing,
where was he.
You know, there was a lot
of questions.
And this was the forum
to address all that stuff.
Shandling:
I'm so happy to see you.
That's all this is about.
It's so honest.
Well, there's a few things
that the show is about,
and one of them
is friendship.
Seinfeld:
Can you give me
one more compliment?
That I came up with a show
that is such a perfect format
for guys like us,
and particularly you.
You know partly
where I got it from?
Our walk in Central Park
that day doing DVD extras
for "The Larry Sanders Show."
You evidently have not
been watching my show,
"Comedians in Hospitals
Getting Surgery."
( both laugh )
I thought of that
last night.
"Comedians in Hospitals
Getting Surgery"?
Yeah, because I was going
to tell you, you know,
I was in the hospital
getting surgery.
But, if someone asked me,
do you think Garry had that line
or do you think he just
said that in the moment?
That's why I'm sharing it.
- I would tell you I...
- Can't tell.
- I can't tell.
- Yeah.
And I'm pretty good at this.
But let me just
say this.
In the old days, you and I
would take those walks.
And, those were... those were
little soul walks we took.
We were both in the throes
of handling these very
challenging jobs that we had.
And we were doing them
at the same time.
This is part of the key
of our relationship,
and I've told you this before.
I need to hear you say,
"I's a fuckin' minefield."
( both laugh )
Because when I say
it's a fuckin' minefield,
they go,
"Shandling's complaining."
I don't know why that is.
Thanks, Gar. Thank you.
I'm telling you,
the truth of us
is talking right now.
- Right.
- And I appreciate it.
- Me, too.
- That's all that matters.
- I agree.
- Okay, buddy.
It's like, how many people
can you sit down with
and talk with this way?
The guys who diffuse the bombs.
Those two guys.
You think when they sit down
and have a cup of coffee,
you think it's quiet a lot?
- I think it's this...
- ( both laughing )
They're both saying
something like that, yeah.
( spoon clinking )
Shandling:
You know, I went in
to get a CT scan
on last Wednesday.
And I go in there,
and the guy says,
"Hey, Garry Shandling,
I'm a big fan."
He said, "I did a CT scan
a year ago of you."
He said, "Do you have cancer?"
I said, "No."
Then he said, "Oh, good,
so you're still alive,
"because I was
watching the news,
"and it seemed like
if you'd passed away
I would've heard
about it on the news."
And I said, "Well,
"I don't know, man."
I mean, I don't know if they
would've broken in or anything.
But, you know, I didn't
know what to say to the guy.
He kept at it.
He said, "That's great that
Garry Shandling's still alive."
I wrote a joke that said,
"I can meditate to the
point where my mind is blank,
but then there's
no one to blame."
You know, I did
that joke onstage.
And, of course,
it's not really a joke.
But then this is the luck
of my life:
Judd Apatow says to me,
"Hey, I'm Skyping
with Ram Dass tomorrow.
Come on over."
Who's that?
That's Garry Shandling
just popped in.
Garry, lean in so we can
see you there.
Shandling:
Do you have any clue who I am?
Ram Dass:
Yeah, I know who you are.
You look great.
You just look great.
- Thank you.
- Shandling: I don't know what--
Garry just
asked you that
because he wants you
to tell him how he looks.
( laughs )
You know, I've been meditating
for 35 years,
so I can meditate until...
my mind is pretty empty,
pretty blank.
But then there's no one
to blame.
( laughs )
Now I realize I have an audience
for my meditation material.
( both laugh )
Humor is great
in spiritual work.
It gets you there.
- Yeah.
- I'd say
in here, not here.
Shandling:
Yeah.
Here is serious.
Here is a judge.
Here is... yehh.
- And down here...
- Yeah.
...there's really humor
down here.
Buddha said
no one is enemy.
- No one is enemy.
- No one.
The...
the true enemy
is ignorance.
Shandling: The true enemy
is the ignorance.
Yeah.
Shandling:
All my journey is
is to be authentically
who I am,
not trying to be somebody else
under all circumstances.
Have you found
confusion?
Sure, there isn't--
the whole world is confused,
because they're trying
to be somebody else.
To be your true self,
it takes enormous work.
Then we can start to look
at the problems in the world.
But instead,
ego drives it.
Ego drives the world.
Ego drives the problems.
So you have to work
in an egoless way.
This egolessness,
which is the key
to being authentic,
is a battle.
Dass:
Everything is part
of an ocean of love.
Go within.
There's loving awareness.
Loving awareness.
Yeah.
Dass:
And there's no time than now.
My body lives in time.
My psychology
lives in time.
But I don't live in time.
I live in this moment.
This moment.
This... this moment.
Yeah, I understand.
And you have been...
been...
in my heart.
And my heart's just warm
just being with you.
Great. Thanks.
Sorry about Judd.
( all laugh )
Apatow:
Thank you very much.
It was an honor
to talk to you.
Namaste. Namaste.
- ( wind gusting )
- ( leaves rustling )
( birds singing )
Apatow:
To me, how I see it,
it feels like he spent
his whole life
rewriting a moment
when his brother died.
Where he wanted people
to be there and to be real
and to not wear masks
and to be present.
He sought that his whole life,
and he also made art
about that.
DeBecker:
That's a big part
of his journey.
And I think before he died,
he had a lot of healing
around that brother wound
altogether.
And one of the ways he got it,
and you're part of it,
and I'm blessed
to be part of it,
is long-term relationships
with people
who stayed loyal to him
and loving of him,
because we loved him
no matter what.
In the hospital, not funny,
we loved him.
Not working, we loved him.
Not on a TV show,
we loved him.
Whatever it was.
And I think that began
to sink in
in his last year of life.
I don't think it, I know it.
I saw it.
Well, you know,
I always...
you know, wondered,
you know, how...
how Garry was doing.
And we talked about Garry
feeling stronger...
spiritually
after fighting through
all of these issues
and the issue
of his brother dying,
which always felt weird
that he never talked about it.
But it felt like
a missing piece
of the puzzle.
And then, in reading
some of his journals,
there was a letter
to his brother.
Hmm.
Oh, boy.
Michael Cera (reading):
"Dear Barry,
"you died during the night.
My hunch is that you were
a special spirit,
blessed and cursed
with a disease.
What you went through,
could I have
understood then?
I saw your pain and coughing
during the night.
Did we ever talk about it?
I remember Dad crying
to perhaps another man.
'We've lost him.'
It's the only real,
honest moment I recall.
As you passed,
a little boy like me
doesn't know where he stops
and his brother picks up.
So when you died, I died.
You ripped away
at your time
and the deep abandonment
and missing you
and being alone in that house
without a brother,
without you.
The emotional pain
was immense.
That is how much I missed you
and how sad I was.
And yet,
no way to express it.
So as I dissolved that
boundary between you and I,
that energy that went
is the energy that is sad.
To invite and love you again,
open up to this light,
your light and my light,
I claim victory for you,
for me, for us.
So, Barry, I tell you
that I love you.
You were, are, joy.
Now and another time
we will play together,
and I will know you
as a brother.
Goodbye from this world.
Goodbye from the pain
of your body.
I honor your life.
What a special,
short life
to affect me so severely
for so long.
Thank you.
See you on the other side.
I love you."
( music playing )
Shandling:
Before I leave tonight,
I would like to leave you
with this one thought.
When I die,
I want it to say--
the little epitaph
on my gravestone to say:
"Thank God I don't
have to be funny anymore."
But I know on the gravestone
next to me, it's going to say:
"You never were."
Thank you, you've been
a terrific audience.
Thank you. Good night.
( static crackles )
( music playing )
Apatow:
It's been very emotional to go
down the rabbit hole of Garry.
But I feel like it's a lesson
for me to just think very deeply
about Garry's life
and his death,
and to learn from it.
It's odd that Prince just died,
because Garry and Prince
were very similar.
( audience laughs )
There really were no differences
when you really get down to it.
Garry was the Prince
of comedy.
( applause )
He was mysterious,
complicated,
sexually ambiguous.
His talent was endless.
He was a brilliant performer
who may or not
have been high
the entire time.
He had great hair.
Both stood up against The Man
to get their shit back.
And both were sexy
as a motherfucker.
"Larry Sanders Show"
was Garry's "Purple Rain."
"It's Garry Shandling's Show"
was his "Dirty Mind."
The only difference
between the two men
is that Garry had
a huge cock.
( laughter and applause )
That is the joke Garry would
have wanted, and we know that.
Nealon:
The truth is, I think it was
very hard to be Garry.
He was complex.
At times neurotic.
Persnickety.
High-maintenance.
A perfectionist
with the highest standards.
And he could be a handful.
Being in his company
required extra patience.
I think the fact that he spelled
his name with two R's
was a warning that he was going
to be complicated.
( clears throat )
I don't know why he creates
that much trouble for himself.
He loved homes
and looking at houses,
and he did hate his house.
For years, he complained
about his house,
and how it wasn't facing
the right direction,
and the light wasn't
hitting it right.
And for years, he toiled
with architects and contractors,
and he had blueprints all over
his dining room table
and the dining room walls.
This beautiful,
amazing home in this gorgeous,
park-like setting
with stunning views
of the Pacific Ocean
continued to be
Garry's albatross.
( laughter and applause )
That was Garry.
That was Garry.
I loved our conversations
on the phone.
I'm going to miss those
late into the night,
talking about comedy
and joke structure.
It was just him and me.
And, on occasion,
Anthony Pellicano.
( laughter and applause )
And the sad irony
of all this now,
is that Garry is reunited with
his mother for all eternity.
And that kills me.
It kills me.
( laughter and applause )
( sighs )
I wish Garry was here.
He was always so proud
when I got a big laugh.
Monk:
Garry came into my life,
and into the lives
of our community,
about two decades ago.
In the Zen world,
one of the greatest compliments
we can give a person is to share
that they're a real human being.
And Garry was certainly that.
He was always there for me,
and it's so clear he was always
there for each one of us
here this evening,
and so many who are not
in this room.
It's such an honor
that he came into my life.
There's a calligraphy on
the wall in our meditation hall
that's written by my teacher.
It says, "The tears I shed
yesterday have become rain."
And, for me, that's very much
what's in my heart this evening.
You are within each one of us,
and you are everywhere.
You have arrived.
You are home.