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The Zen Diaries of Garry Shandling (2018)
Garry Shandling:
What's the date today? - Is it April 1st? - All: The 30th. - March 30th? - Woman: The 30th. ( construction noise ) It is March 30th. It is March 30th and I have just come-- and it's about 3:30. I've just come from my series that I'm working on. I've just been writing scripts. We start shooting May-- the first week in May, and so we haven't been out here shooting anything about the house because I've been working on scripts, because that's how I make my fuckin' living. - ( music playing ) - So the house has been coming along and they've already been doing the framing. - Tom, how's it going? - Tom: Pretty good. - You wanna say hello? - No. - ( laughing ) How are you? - Fine. How are you, Garry? Tom's doing all the framing. - Mm-hmm. - It's going excellent. You can tell from the frames that are just around his sunglasses what a good framer he is. How we coming along? You have any suggestions? Tom: Gettin' done what you want. - That's all I care about. - OK. You wanna discuss this kitchen in there? The ceiling, what you want in there? ( stuttering ) Yeah, I got decisions on that already. And what you wanna do with the skylights. - Yeah. - 'Cause they're telling me put the skylights in. You don't want any skylights. OK, we'll take care of it today. We're gonna get it done, aren't we? - Seriously? - We're OK if we get some answers today we should be-- We're gonna do all the answers today. - Please. - Yeah. - Murphy. - ( Murphy barks ) - Tom: Shake it. - There you go. David Letterman, eat your heart out. David Letterman: Garry, what were we talking about? Can I ask you about your involvement in this show? In, uh, ( stuttering ) in "Late Night"-- NBC? - Oh, boy. - Letterman: Yeah. Because it seems to me when at first it seemed like I was going away, Dana Carvey was gonna host the show-- - All hell broke loose. - Oh, yeah, that's right. - I'm sorry. - ( laughter ) And, uh, Dana Carvey was gonna be the guy. Now let me say that you said, "Well, Mr. Big Shot passed on 12:30." - Oh, no, no. - Which was very funny. - Yeah, no, I said-- - But you're leaving. - ( stuttering ) I said-- - Well, you're leaving - the 12:30 spot. - That's right, yeah. Conan O'Brien: When I was being considered for the "Late Night Show" and I was this long shot unknown in '93 the other name was Garry Shandling. Letterman: Did they make you a big offer - to take this job? - They made me an offer that was-- it was gigantic. - Yeah? - It was one-third of yours. - No, no, no. - ( laughter ) That's funny. Thank you. All right. All right, we're all enjoying a good laugh at my expense. O'Brien: And I remember people reporting that like that's just going to happen. - ...how much? - I'm your biggest fan-- not your biggest fan. There's probably some nut who has posters of you up, but... Me being told, in confidence, "Look, it's not gonna be you. It's gonna be Garry, but you did-- you had a great audition and this is gonna-- something good's gonna happen for you." ( music playing ) And I remember thinking at the time, "I don't see Garry Shandling doing the same thing, more or less, night after night after night." But did you ever seriously consider this all could now be yours. Take a look around. This studio full of fabulous prizes could all be yours now. Well, I like the clock. Yeah, peel that off of there for him. Can you-- can you just... O'Brien: He was approaching comedy - as an artist. - Letterman: Conan can get his own clock. And the people who look at it as an art, as I think Garry did, it's an artistic journey for them. That's what makes them great, but it also means they can't crank it out for all of eternity. ( music playing ) Shandling: I thought, "Is there a way that I can learn about myself and the world and people and get down into that shit and the essence of people's lives and how they cover it on a talk show? Or can I do it on a show about a guy who hosts a talk show?" And realized that it isn't about a guy who hosts a talk show. It's the ability to have that world within which you could tell the story of human beings. - Woman: Hank? - Hey now. Look, I'd like to make sure you have everything now before the show 'cause there won't be time for you to go back to your dressing room. Fine. Thank you. Thank you. Make sure that they have ( stuttering ) a pillow and Drambuie on the helicopter. - Woman: Sure. OK. - Mm-hmm. - Okay. - ( music playing ) It's like she's living in the seventies. She's definitely gonna catch someone. Someone. Something. Shandling: Ah, you improvised and it caused you some trouble! - I'm so sorry! - Uh-huh! - I was focused on-- - Knock yourself out. Beverly: You want the door closed? Larry: I'll tell you what. Oh, leave it open. - Oh. - Close it. That's fine. Close it. You want it open or closed? - Closed. - I'm getting you some coffee. - OK? - She is real. - Man: Yeah. - ( music playing ) - Man: Oh, anytime? Oh, OK. - Shandling: Yup. Man: Let's talk about "The Larry Sanders Show." We're here on the set. - It's beautiful. - So, actually, I had an idea about five years ago to do a show about a guy who hosts a late night show. I always thought that would be fun to do 'cause I find the personality of these guys really fascinating. I mean, it's like-- this is how I think of it-- the only thing worse than being on TV every night is wanting to be on TV every night. - ( laughter ) - Hank: And now because his Uncle Ray owns the place ( elongating ) Larry Sanders! ( audience cheering ) And C. Calling mark. Shandling: I had made the mistake in my first series "It's Garry Shandling's Show." I got lazy because it's very hard work, and I started to let the show get out of my hands and it turned into a bit of a cartoon. Larry, you might not recognize this little girl... Shandling: That was what motivated me to do "Larry Sanders," is I needed to do a show where I could be allowed to explore reality... Stand-up comics who think they're fuckin' actors make me sick. You're absolutely correct. Shandling: ...and have that support system and everyone understanding. That's what we're doing here, everybody. Are you in or you out? ( music playing ) - Man: Episode 209... - Larry: Is there any way the sound guy can help me with the sound? It feels a little weak. All right, thanks for the help. Man: Slating the off camera. OK, so this is a talk show segment. I'm gonna start and then stop and then start again, but you'll understand what I'm doing 'cause I'll explain it as we go. My next-- well, we'll pretend we're right in the middle of the show. Man: Just a second, I think we're slating some cameras. - We all slated? - Man #2: I'm done. - I'm slated. - Slated all around. Larry: You guys should know we have three video cameras and we have four film cameras and we have actually - two slide projectors. - ( laughter ) It's a very complicated show. I'm not kidding. But Jesus, did you see the way Hank was all over Hefner? Shandling: Some people mistakenly think that's a dark show about people trying to get what they want. How in God's name can they not nominate this man for an Emmy? Shandling: No, it is a show about people trying to get love and that shit gets in the way. It hurts, Hank. - It really hurts. - Shh shh shh. Shandling: We were there on that stage in a really kind of experimental lab kind of way. We didn't have the name on the door of the big studio and all that. And it was about exploring feeling. Hey, you wanted to see me? Artie: Yes. Brian has filed a lawsuit against "The Larry Sanders Show" for sexual harassment. You've got top billing. Plus you stole my gay dog joke. - What is that about? - Holy shit! This is crazy! Goddamn you! Didn't I tell you to shut the fuck up? Didn't you see what he was wearing? This is entrapment! You know, if this gets out all anyone is going to remember about the show is this lawsuit bullshit. Oh, and 10 years of laughter. Marker. Hey, I saw that tape of Hank, man. That guy's got quite a hog on him, huh? Guy's cock is huge. You know, I feel kind of inadequate, you know? I mean, what with his huge cock - and all there. - You look really good, Hank. Very centered. Life must be good, huh? I'm drunk. Actually, my life is shit. Well, it can't be that bad. I mean, I... I just heard that you were coming out with some kind of a tape-- an exercise tape. - Congratulations. - What is that, a joke? What, are you trying to be funny? You know, you can't just bang a jukebox and go, ( elongating ) "Hey!" And all your problems disappear, Fonzie. - It worked for me. - Ah, go fuck yourself. - ( audience cheering ) - Female reporter: Each week viewers go behind the scenes of the fictional talk show "The Larry Sanders Show." A show where art imitates life, and life imitates art. People who have worked on talk shows will go, "Wow, that's exactly what it's like," and the average person who's never been backstage of a talk show will go, "I wonder if that's really what it's like?" We're doing an episode where Larry's negotiating his contract-- 'cause his contract is up, and what will he do and where will he go, so I think we're gonna play with that a little bit. Female reporter: The character Darlene, played by actress Linda Doucett-- Shandling's real-life steady-- poses for "Playboy" on the show and Doucett does it in real life. Sacha Baron Cohen: So, in England "Seinfeld" was on BBC One-- the mainstream channel. - Hank? - Jer. Cohen: "Sanders" was on BBC Two and it was kind of a smaller niche audience. But my friends completely adored that show, and that was the perfect show. Good morning, ladies. Cohen: I'm not sure Ricky Gervais would agree with this, but I think "The Office" is definitely influenced by it. - Can I talk to you a second? - Yeah. Cohen: It is an office. It just happens to be the back office of a TV show. Where are your pants? I flushed them down the toilet with the rest of tonight's show. Al Jean: That was the dawn of what they call "The Golden Age of TV." "Larry Sanders" was the first one I remember having that sort of reputation. Hey, look at Larry the big, fat asshole. - Whoo! - ( applause ) Judd Apatow: I know that the head of HBO said that "Larry Sanders" showed them what they should be. He said that that's what defined HBO. "Oh, we should go after this type of quality and content." Are you going to keep hammering me about this lesbian stuff? I think this is going great. I think this is very funny. - I don't. - I do. Hey, look, I'm just doing my job. - It's funny. - You're just doing your job. You know, I understand if this was coming from Letterman. I didn't sleep with him. ( stuttering ) Am I the only host you've slept with? Apatow: What do you think the show got right? I could tell you what it got wrong, which always bugged me, was how many writers were there? Yeah, they only showed a few. There were in other rooms you didn't see. Other rooms, but you really got the impression that, OK, he's on every night, and there's two writers that I see. They never seem to be working. That used to piss me off, 'cause I would say like, "No, no, you have a gun in your mouth from the time you walk in the front door until the time the show is over." But, of course, what it got right was the ego... I am not watching my show right now. O'Brien: ...how neurotic it is, his depiction of the desperation to get away from it, but also the love of it. You know, this is the greatest gig in the world. I gotta get the fuck out of here. - Artie? - O'Brien: That is all... - You've got my tape. - ...right on. - What tape? - The Dana Carvey tape. The impression he did of me on "Saturday Night Live," and I haven't seen it. Apatow: I remember that Dana Carvey did this really mean impression of Garry on "Saturday Night Live." ...Madonna be nominated for "Best Virgin." Why is he whining like that? I mean, I don't whine like that. No, not like that. Apatow: And then he wrote an episode about Larry being offended by the impression. - Yeah. - ( chuckles ) So I guess you're gonna do it, huh? - Well, yeah. - Well, good. Well, now that you've... kind of seen it, does it bother you, honestly? Same disguise I think Michael Jackson wears when he goes to Disneyland, isn't it? It's a bit over the top, yes. But that's how I do these things. I mean, you know, my hope is that it's so abstract, so cartoony, that it wouldn't be offensive to you, you know. I mean, like, well, George Bush is just like, ( impersonating George H.W. Bush ). You know, I mean, and if you've seen me do Jay Leno, it becomes ( impersonating Jay Leno ). And you are just ( impersonating Larry ). So, that's my hope. I mean, so you're all right? Is it all right? ( laughs ) It bothers you. I mean, you watch an old "Tonight Show," what is that really? Maybe it's funny to see Drew Barrymore when she's 84 years old, and here she is talking to Jay Leno when she's six, or whatever it might be. Hello, Larry, it's Drew Barrymore. Leno: But I think "The Larry Sanders Show" will outlast all of us, and the stories are really timeless. It's about vanity and pride and all those great sort of Shakespearean things, so. I think he paid a price to be able to go that deep to make that show. Yeah, because it did seem painful to him, you know? I mean, he was willing to endure all sorts of pain to get the finished product as good as it was. - Slate. Mark. - Shandling: Excellent. But I'll do this to the camera. ( chatter ) - You can tell it's a script? - Man: Yes. Go. Ready. - So what's your problem? Huh? - ( mumbles ) - Brando puts scripts... - Both: Up his ass. - Right. - Hey! - Hey! - Man: Yes, everything's - ready to go. - Man #2: Okay, ready, guys? Apatow: It does feel like it was the metaphor for everything Garry was struggling with. His ego and vanity and narcissism, and it's like he took everything that he didn't want to be in himself and put it in this character and then mocked it and said, "Isn't this a terrible way to live?" ( chuckles ) Well, that's true. I mean, when I think about him, I think obviously about here's a very talented man and a very spiritual man, and a man who's constantly sort of questioning why are we here, why are we doing things, and how do we treat each other and all that. And the most neurotic, self-absorbed person. I'm a fuckin' talk show host, okay? Peter Tolan: You know, obviously, since we always would say "Glarry"... - I'm all fucked up. - Tolan: ..."Glarry" was the character because it's Garry. The idea that he's examining himself through that character, it's a brilliant form of therapy. I can't imagine that the success of your show, which is huge, has changed you that much. Do you feel like you're about the same amount happy as you were before all this "Larry Sanders" stuff? I would say literally I'm about the same amount happy as I was always. It's a struggle for me. I have very depressing times and yet people think because you're famous that you would feel-- and I don't consider myself-- if some said, "How does it feel to be famous?" I mean, you know, I don't want to break this to you, but we're on cable. - So it's not like... - ( laughter ) - You know. It's not like... - ( applause ) - ...Seriously. - I... It's, like, people go, "Wow, can you go out?" I go, "Well, no, but not because of that. - Miller: Right. - So... - I don't go... - ( laughter ) You know, I am just a fuckin' comic. Larry: This is about me. This is about my life. I've never seen it all laid out like this, for God's sakes. It's not interesting. It's fucking pathetic. It's about nothing but fucking greed and lust and self-loathing and anger, and let me tell you something! That is not what I'm like! ( music playing ) Apatow: One of the difficulties with the show, Garry had different showrunners almost every season. People would get fired. People would quit. So you had to reinvent the wheel every year. Try to figure out what the strengths were of these writers and partners, and it exhausted him. Maya Forbes: Yeah, and I think there was a sense that once you got to the top and you're running the show, it was gonna be hard to please Garry and that at a certain point it was gonna turn. I think Garry really felt like he had to protect the coherence of what he was trying to do, and so when he got those kinds of jokes that were just totally off base, they were, like, offensive to him. You know, it was like, "You're gonna destroy what I'm doing here." He was like, "You don't get it. You don't get it, you know? You don't get it, so yeah, you don't get me. If you-- if you don't get it then you don't get me, and what are you doing here?" ( music playing ) Apatow: I was working on "The Ben Stiller Show," and Garry did a cameo. - How you doing? - Apatow: And then when the show ended-- when we were canceled, Garry said, "Oh, you should come over and work at "The Larry Sanders Show." And he said, "And you're gonna learn a lot," which I always thought was great because he didn't say, "You're gonna be very helpful." ( laughter ) So when did you come over? Which season? Apatow: Season two, and I would do two days a week 'cause I didn't want to be responsible for final choices. I just wanted to pitch jokes... - Right. - ...so that I was - always helpful. - Right. You were not part of the problem. Apatow: Then out of the blue, and I never asked him, Garry just said, "I want you to direct the next show." And, to me, it was such a giant thing because I was afraid to do it, and he might have known that-- that on some level I was scared. I never would ask, and he gave me that opportunity. - Yeah. - But it felt pressurized. - I remember-- - Tolan: It had to. The oral history of "Sanders" is littered with the names of writers who-- that he would mention to you later in sort of an offhanded way, as sort of, you know, sometimes as the butt of a joke or just a comic reference. I mean, his disappointment was pretty complete. Paul Simms: All right, what's the date today? It's July 14. That means I haven't brushed my teeth in three months... 'cause I've been working on this fuckin' show. Simms: So we've been working, uh, for how many months now? Well, this is table script-- Oh. So, I don't know. But we're on show number eight. - No. - Simms: Number nine. Number nine. Simms: A lot of things have changed since we last talked. There are now people on staff whose names I don't know. On the writers' staff. There's someone who's got a producer credit whose name I haven't got right yet. Simms: What's he look like? It's not the... The Jew. There's a Jewish man and an Italian man. ( both laugh ) And between the two of them, they don't know what the fuck's going on. ( Simms laughing ) Shandling: It's a living hell. Look at me. Look at me, I'm a mess. John Markus: For me, it was amazing that he didn't enjoy the show more. And I think it's because he suffered the quality. - Man: How's it going, Garry? - I hate this fuckin' show. - How's it going tonight? - I hate this fuckin' show. - Well, it's almost over. - I hate this fuckin' show. - What's the problem? - I hate the fuckin' show. I hate the fuckin' show. Dave Letterman's right. His attitude's right. But to have him just tell you what a scene should be like... and when he was done telling you what it was like, you had the scene. You had the dialogue. You had everything. And there were moments when he would say, "Okay, let's just fix this." And he'd fix an entire script in half an hour. And you would see, like, Michael Jordan in the seventh game of the championship. He was just in flow. - It's not funny. - I beg your pardon? What word do you have trouble with? You understand "not"? That's comfortable for you? - Yeah. - And "funny?" You've heard of that? This doesn't work. I think socks had something to do with that decision. - See? Now I'm laughing. - Well, laugh loud so you can cover for the rest of us. Hey. Hey. You like your job? No. Well, watch it. He was quite strong with me. He wasn't warm and fuzzy with me. He said, "Now look, you cannot prepare for this. "You cannot-- these are not about learning your lines. You have to let it come." You have to... You have to-- That was a big, big wake-up call. And actually changed... I think probably changed my fabric. They were talking to Larry. He sends his best. Great. And...the shoes aren't right. - Look at the shoes. - What's wrong with them? This is not right. You know? And I ordered some-- ( crying ) Should I be concerned? Hmm? Don't make me do this, okay? I just can't do this. I'm not up... I'm not up to this. Don't make me. Oh, come on. Paula's out there. She's waiting to go over the guest questions with you. I'll be a few feet away at the monitor. We're just so thrilled for you. We just want to support you, buddy. - What if I suck? - Never! ( laughing ) No? Yeah. What if I suck? I mean, after all this time, I finally get my chance, and what if I suck? I mean, you know, I'm serious. Maybe I shouldn't get my chance, and then I don't have to find out I suck. Breathe in. - What if I suck? - Let it out. ( exhales shakily ) What if I suck? Ready? No. Breathe in. ( inhales shakily ) Let it out. ( sighs ) Ready? No. Mark. Tambor: We actually developed some things where we didn't cut, remember? - Were you above my...ass? - Man: We're rolling. - Because Garry would wander away if we cut. - Wander. Where's... the constant lament was, "Where's Garry?" Man 1: Back from lunch, still rolling. man 2: Come on, we're still rolling. Tambor: And you guys figured out if you don't cut, he has to stay. They also put a buzzer on his script, which was in a binder, because he always lost it. So, they-- like, they taped some buzzer so you'd have a button. And it would buzz somewhere, and people would just, like, look for the buzzing. ( laughs ) Penny Johnson: Garry was good at knowing that what he was a part of was bigger than him. Something else was there to make this chemistry of players bind, and that was the love. Now, he may have given you guys hell in the writers' room, but there was nothing but love and collaboration with us players. I loved your material, particularly this prison joke. Punishing criminals by making the prison bars horizontal, - so the prisoners feel fatter. - Feel fatter. - Larry does all the punch lines around here. - Whoops. Sarah Silverman: I was 24, and my friend brought me to basketball. And I just started playing basketball here on Sundays. - I mean, I lived for Sundays. - Judd: Yeah. Apatow: When Garry built the house, he was so excited to build the basketball court. Silverman: And I think he loved the camaraderie. Apatow: He had pretty good game. He did. I mean, it was great guarding him, because he very rarely went on the inside. - You didn't have to run around too much. - Yeah. Let me be clear. Anything you're uncomfortable with, we change. Anything you'd rather say, say. Silverman: You know, the scripts were so brilliant, and he would still say, "Say whatever you want. I mean, all that's important is that you get the spirit of this scene across." I'm sorry? Silverman: So, it wasn't that he... - I'm sorry, once more? - Silverman: ...was so precious - Steven Wright. - Yes. Silverman: ...with every single thing, but he just wanted it to be right, and for it to be right was very specific to him. - Hey, Larry. - Hey, how are you doing? - Good, how are you doing? - Good to see you. David Duchovny: The first moment that I met him was, we did a take, and it was half written, half improvised. You know, it's not like I was begging to be on the show. You guys have been asking me to be on the show for months. I didn't come here just to stick my thumb up my ass. I've got to go talk to Hank. Will you excuse me one second? - I'll talk to him. - No, I'll talk. Duchovny: For me, it was like being knighted. It was such an important moment where this guy that I thought was a comic genius said to me, "Hey, you know, I get what you're doing." So, it gave me a lot of confidence, just that one moment. Apatow: Because you hadn't done a lot of comedy before? No, not intentionally, anyway. Oh! Duchovny: Then we became friends, and then it was just like ideas that either he or I would have. The idea that I had a crush on him, I think I just said during basketball one time. You may have even been there and not listening. I don't know what it was. But I said, it would be funny if I had a crush on you, but it's not sexual. He said, "I don't understand that, but it's funny." Well, I'm sorry I'm not going to be on the show with you. What are you talking about? My agent called, said the network went ballistic, and they put me back on with Jon Stewart. Goddamn it. Shit. Why? They're just not supposed to do that. Goddamn it! ( shushing ) God, you're really upset, aren't you? God, you really care about me, don't you? Duchovny: That was, to me, it was like bravery about the whole thing thing. - I'll see you. - See you later. Oh, hi, Darlene. Hi, Larry. Linda Doucett: The show became art imitating life. A lot of our situations and things came into play. You know, I've learned the hard way, Darlene, that office relationships are inappropriate, and... - Screw him. - Yeah, well, it's not like it's a dog... Doucett: When you're starring, you're show-running, you're writing, you're parodying the dark side of your own personal life. It's a lot. So, it became very difficult, because we were having a human spiritual experience, and I wanted to become more of a mother. And... ( sighs ) Is this where I can cry? I guess. ( both laugh ) So it wasn't, like... it's like our paths changed. I think the thought of losing a child, to him... He lost a brother. And his mother, you know, I think she went a little crazy because of that. So, you know, children became an issue for Garry. When you have the cystic fibrosis illness in your family, you have a chance of carrying that gene. I think it was more about, if he loved a child so much, what if the child died like his brother died? Apatow: Well, that's complicated. He doesn't want to have children, you do. But now you're also working on the television show together. Ugh! Apatow: So you're tied together at work. Work. And then, after Garry and I broke up, my agent called and said I was fired. But you have to understand that there were so many people advising him now, that the human personal experience is now removed. It's business. It seemed like Garry didn't understand that when you guys broke up, that you're not allowed to fire your ex-fiance from her show. You know, it's amazing how we started off mocking, you know, the industry, and then we fell prey to it. You know? Man: We're rolling. Shandling: It's very good to have this peaceful moment before we get into laughing. Man: Scene 6-P, take one. Right now my body is saying, "Why do I have your fuckin' brain?" ( on-set laughter ) "Why couldn't I have the brain of a singer?" my body said. A fuckin' comic. Means I got to fuckin' pace back and forth and be constantly thinking about shit to say, or I feel inadequate. ( laughter ) Fuckin' neurotic fuck. Get Dr. Kevorkian's number. Let's get this over with. I'm ready to come back. Come back in the fuckin' body of a dog, I'd be happier. At least I wouldn't be licking my balls as much. ( laughter ) Man: We are back from commercial! - Shandling: We're back? - ( bell rings ) Apatow: You know, Garry's exhausted and making the show. He terminated Linda's contract when they broke up as a couple. And so she sues him for wrongful termination. The lawsuit was settled. But at some point in going through contracts and money to deal with that, everyone becomes aware that the commissions are not kosher. - The Brad Grey commissions? - Apatow: Yes. Yeah, that's right. And... and, the lawyer that Garry had engaged asked Brad's group, "Hey, can we see these contacts? Whatever it is that Garry signed." And the general response from Brad was, "You don't want to ask this question." Apatow: And that's when Brad Grey dropped him as a client. Gavin DeBecker: Yeah. And that opened up a huge can of worms. Bill Isaacson: When Garry was starting in stand-up, Brad Grey was representing him and helping him get gigs, and they were very close friends. And as Garry succeeded, so did Brad. Then Brad became 50% owner of "Larry Sanders Show." At the same time, he's the manager, so he receives commissions. And he's the producer, so he gets producer fees. And he began to use his reputation that he was getting from that to spin off into other shows and then to do production deals. I don't think it actually occurred to people that your business manager should not take half of your show. - Mm-hmm. - And all of a sudden, the writers from "Larry Sanders" were being offered deals at other shows. So, you're sitting there saying, my producer and my co-owner is taking away our talent and taking it away over there, which was a part of the conflicts that-- that, you know, really upset Garry. Because anything that made the job more difficult or took creative people that he wanted to work with away from him, was taking away from "Larry Sanders Show." But it just came down the core of, your manager is taking a commission to represent your interests, and not supposed to be representing his interests. This person had a duty of loyalty to me. ( music playing ) Lawsuit's filed January 1998. The last season of "Larry Sanders" starts in March, which is really about the lawsuit. It's him reacting to the whole issue of conflicts of interest. - Mark. - Stevie Grant: Hey, listen, I know you're busy dreaming about your lover's cock and all, but I think I ordered some coffee. Apatow: Because on the show, Stevie Grant is representing both Larry and Jon Stewart, as Jon Stewart's trying to get Larry's job. Crewman: Seventeen, take two. I know this is awkward. I just wanted to tell you that I was going to be thanking you at the top of the show - my very first thing. - Uh-huh. - You don't need to do that. - No, I so do. - You really don't. - I'm just going to say how much I appreciated your support, and what an honor and a challenge it's going to be to even try... I don't think you need "challenge." ...and follow in your footsteps. That's a little overkill. "Honor's" good. - I'll say that one twice. - Just say "honor." Listen, did Stevie Grant tell you he was going to sign me beforehand? We got to get the Stevie Grant beat right. - This is about Jon Stewart, isn't it? - ( laughs ) I am telling you, ABC has just made him an offer, and the network is just using me as a fucking negotiation tool. Who represents him, anyway? I do. - You do? - Yeah. - Since when? - Since today. I thought you had a photo shoot and a meeting. I had to eat lunch, Larry. - With Jon Stewart. - Yeah. I see. Don't you think that's a tad of a conflict? Not for me. Apatow: Garry would say that he wanted the show to be great. And one of the reasons was, he wanted people to know that Brad never did anything. - ( laughs ) - And so he wanted it - to be the best season of all the seasons. - Yeah. So he used revenge for energy. I'll show you. I'll show you some real quality. - Man: Rolling. - Let's go. Man 1: Take one. Man 2: Okay, let's go. - Go, go, go. - Man 3: And action. Dave? - Hey. - Hey! Close the fuckin' door. Jimmy: I heard the news about Jon Stewart. - What, he's leaving the agency? - Stevie: Yeah. You know why? He says he caught me in a lie. ( scoffs ) Right. Oh, my God, I told a fuckin' lie! Yeah, I told him his fuckin' show would run for 20 years. He didn't seem to mind that lie. Jimmy: Look, can I be honest with you? He's got nothing. I took a shit this morning with more talent. Fuckin' artists. They're all crazy, neurotic babies. ( snorts ) Man: And, we cut. ( indistinct chatter ) Bruce Grayson: I remember being on the set and how emotional he was. I mean, he was so intense. He was so intense. Yeah. And, you're looking at this fuckin' guy, you're coked up. Okay? Okay. Take your time. Get intense at that person you don't like. Apatow: Garry talked a lot about The reason why he had the lawsuit with Brad was to stand up for himself. But ultimately it led to what Garry felt was a smear campaign against him. Grayson: And when it turned on him, it blew his mind. ( music playing ) DeBecker: Many of these dynamics that went on with Garry around difficult relationships with people who had betrayed him in some way, he felt, really go back to... to the death of Barry, his older brother. If you had a very close relationship with Garry, it would often be fraternal, and that would be fraught. And I think Brad had that circumstance occur. That dynamic and that pain is what Brad was dancing on. Dancing on that wound. Leno: You know, whenever you talk to Garry, you always sensed he was trying to think of something funny to say and come back. And after that, he was just never the same. It was just like, you know when you're a kid and an adult does something to disappoint you, you know? And you're so stunned. But, I would... every time I saw him I always felt the need to cheer him up and compliment him more than I normally would, just because I felt like something had been taken from him, you know? The fire seemed to, if not gone out, somewhat diminished. Grayson: Betrayal was a big component in Garry's life. If there is an element of betrayal or dishonesty after Brad, a lot of friendships were just dropped. Bob Saget: When I signed with Brad when he was 20 and I was 22, I knew without a question of a doubt that he was going to rise to the top of whatever he wanted to do. Brad was not a bad person. Brad was a businessman, and he loved Garry. And he was one of the most giving people for my family and for my life that will ever be in my life. But when Garry came after him with all guns blazing, I think he felt betrayed, because if you sue someone for $100 million you're saying that you want to destroy that person. Or at least his reputation. I had two friends that I loved who were basically going through a very upsetting divorce. And I couldn't not be friends with Brad anymore. But I also couldn't not be friends with Garry anymore. - Yeah. - But that's what Garry wanted. Well, what did he think was happening? I think he felt I chose a side when I wanted to talk to him, because I had none of those grievances nor understanding. And Brad and his family and his kids are like my kids. - Yeah. - And I love them. And so, I can't have my godchild anymore? You know, it's... "I need to talk to you about this, Garry." Why did he think that you were on Brad's side, though? I made one joke. Someone said, "Are you going to sue Brad?" And I said, "No, but I have my eye on one of his cars." Apatow: And he took that as...? Saget: I don't know. I'm sure he saw it. And there might be other things. I mean, I... What do you think Garry expected from you in that moment? What do you think Garry thinks was...? That's what I don't know. Because it seems like Garry wasn't able to shut off his hurt enough to go, "Oh, what would I do in their situation?" Or, "How much can I understand about--?" But as hurt as he was, I was pretty fuckin' hurt. So I just kept trying to call Garry to say, "I want to talk to you." And he didn't want to. Tambor: Testing. I don't-- is this on? Can you hear this? Oh, all right. Don't have to yell. Just asking. Just asking a question. Live on tape from Hollywood, "The Larry Sanders Show." Tonight, join Larry and his guests: Tim Allen, Tom Petty, Sean Penn, Carol Burnett, David Duchovny, Greg Kinnear, Clint Black, Bruno Kirby, and me, "Hey Now" Hank Kingsley. And now, because this is the last time I'm going to say it, Larry Sanders! ( applause ) Larry: Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. ( on-set laughter ) Man 1: Mark! Man 2: Action! Oh, brother. So... If you feel the same way as I do about Larry leaving this show, - say "no way!" - Audience: No way! Oh, actually, we have to take it back from further back. Why are you fucking with them? - That is so... - ( audience laughs ) You're supposed to repeat that. That was unbelievable how you could get them to do that. - They're supposed to repeat everything. - They will. Where do you want to go back to? Actually, it's a different intro right now. - Really? Okay. - Yeah. Yeah, remember, Judd? - Judd: Yeah. - Okay, so what do I do? Okay, I guess go from the point where I say, uh... - God... - ...something brilliant. Shandling: Here we go. Ready? What is it? Jim: What isn't it? You're leaving, Larry. Just when I thought everything in my life was solid. You decide to go. I don't think I, and the rest of America, should be forced to live without a Larry Sanders show. ( laughs ) ( cheers and applause ) In fact, I'm not leaving this stage until you decide not to go. And, I think everybody in this audience feels the same! - Right guys? - ( audience cheers ) If you're as upset as I am about Larry Sanders leaving this show, - say, "no way!" - Audience: No way! If you feel, as I do, that Larry owes you for your years of devotion to him and this show, - say, "no way!" - Audience: No way! - Jim Carrey: No way! - Audience: No way! - No way! - Audience: No way! - Jim Carrey: No! Way! - No! Way! - No, no, way, way! - Audience: No, no, way, way! - No way, way, way! - Audience: No way, way, way! - No! - Audience: No! - Way! - Way! - Jim Carrey: No way! - No way! ( blows note ) No, no, no, no way No, no, no, no way We're living without you I'm not living Without you There's no way No way Tear down the mountains They'll scream and shout You can say What you want We're not walking out Stop all the rivers Push back or kill I'm not gonna leave you There's no way I will Whoo! Come on! - Whoo! - Whoo! You're gonna love me Yeah, yeah You're gonna love me Yeah, yeah, yeah You're gonna love me Love me Love me Love Winning and losing is not important. - Being nominated is. - Garry, Garry, we won. Oh, we won? Oh, thank God. Okay, yeah. Oh, being nominated means nothing. ( laughs ) Larry Larry, love me Love you, Larry! ( sobbing ) What the fuck is this? Audience: No way! No way! No way! No way! No way! No way! No way! No way! No way! No way! No way! ( indistinct chatter ) Apatow: On the last night, there was a lot of tension. - Tambor: Yeah. - Apatow: And when it was time to do the last scene with you and Rip... He wanted to pull the plug that night. Apatow: Yes, he did. Garry just noticed that it was about 7 or 8 pages. And he said, "I think it's too long." He was running out of gas and he wanted to cut it in half. Probably he just didn't want to even face it. Because that was good-bye. Artie: Hello, stranger. Well, well, well. What are you doing here? Tambor: Here's what I remember... Just being a sad and pathetic shithead like you. Sit down. We got that baby in one. One take. Come on, Larry. Let's help our brother here. Tambor: You know that I begged him to keep going? Hey, what are you guys doing tomorrow? Tambor: Because I knew I was leaving Valhalla. I mean, we all did. Oh, good for you! I guess it's us. Tambor: And I went, "Please do another season, please do." And, he said, "I can't. I literally-- and it will become very clear to you-- I can't." Shandling: Are you starting? - We'll start now. - Do I have to sit down? No, you...I don't think the cameras can pick us up. Yeah, they can't really pick up... they pick up from here, down. - That's all I need. - Okay. I don't have a problem with that. Rather than sit down, how about please have a seat? ( sighs ) All right. - I'm not ready. - I know. We'll talk about that. But we're going to tape what we talk about. - Go, go, go. Just start. - Okay, just start. Okay? - Chris, roll tape. - Just do what you want. - You do what you want, Charlie. - No, roll tape. I'm going to put my ear piece in so they can give me timing cues too, as well. But, I mean, at very interesting times in your life, when people wanted you to go in a certain direction, you've said no. - Yes, that's true. - You know? It's almost like you have this internal clock... - Yeah. - ...that tells you it's time to get off the stage. Not even necessar-- ( laughs ) I can take a hint, my friend. ( laughing ) Oh, please come back. So, that you then go... - I do. - ...you know, and is it because it is so hard that you just exhaust yourself and you can only do so much? Or is it because it just gets boring because it's repetitious for you? The show is really difficult to do, and tired and fed up happened on occasion. But, you know, I'm in the middle of a lawsuit and there are stories being used to proliferate certain aspects of that lawsuit, which I, you know, don't necessarily want to get into, 'cause it's a difficult circumstance that I can't discuss much. I mean... You sued your manager for $100 million. Yeah, yeah. Well... Saying he was paying too much attention to building his own business and not looking after you. And, for standing up for doing what I think is right, there's a price to pay and there's a game to be played, and there's a lot of spinning being done that is common in America now. I think it's an incredibly unfortunate circumstance that the world which I thought was going to be more loving and all those things that we believed in in the '60s it seems to be the opposite. And people all have an agenda, and they say, "Well, why not me?" I don't really know what to do about it except to be as honest as I can be. - And I... - Your argument is that if you stand up for what you think are your rights and pursue something that you think is fair for you, that part of the battle and part of the, you know, weaponry is to suggest that... that the person who is the litigant is a little crazy. I, um... I don't have a seat belt. Jerry Seinfeld: There's no excuse for that. ( seat belt clicks ) Shandling: I want to do something about the difference between a man therapist and a woman therapist, but I haven't really worked it out yet. It's like, the trouble I have now with a woman therapist, if she says, "So, how did your day go?" I go, "Come on, get off my back." Seinfeld: That's funny. ( indistinct chatter ) - Hi. - Man: Yeah. Seinfeld: Just the one show, you know? I would love to be blue. That's your notes? It says, "new shit." ( all laugh ) Seinfeld: You know what I think about, is the number of blank pages that you brought along. I know. I'm trying to intimidate everybody else into thinking I have tons of material. Garry, this is really kind of silly, isn't it? You can do better than this. Why do you do it like this? - I cannot... - ( all laugh ) Seinfeld: Why do you need all these papers? You know, they make small legal pads, 5 inch by 8 inch. Look at me. I did. ( laughs ) Why are you trying to change Uncle Garry's ways? - No, I think it's... - Seinfeld: Does that help you? Shandling: I think it's eccentric to the way I think, and so I'm constantly writing things down. And by the time I come to the club now, I grab everything, because, actually, what I do, is I was figuring it out 20 minutes before I went on, then I take all this and put it on one piece of paper or two pieces that I take up. - Seinfeld: Right. - Shandling: And, I still, you know, I'm inventing and writing on-stage. And it is a little like an actor doing a scene and not knowing yet what the emotional beats are, and finding it and letting it happen, instead of planning it ahead of time. - Seinfeld: Right. - That's just the way I work. Seinfeld: But how come comedians are bad actors, then? Shandling: I don't think they are bad actors. Seinfeld: Most them are, Garry. The ones that are not are exceptional. It's just the same reason that you were great in your show. I wasn't great. I was serviceable. You were great. No, I think a lot of comedians... You became a good actor, and you did it by learning to act. It really didn't have... I don't think it had a lot to do with your comedy. Yeah, it did. It's all about being in the moment, and trusting, and having the courage to discover what the next moment is, and that's when you have those moments where you deliver something unexpectedly that kills an audience. Right. ( applause ) Chris Rock: My God. You people are really going to be disappointed. ( audience laughs ) Rock: I've got nothing... remotely funny to say. Marriage is hard, man. This is how hard marriage is. Nelson Mandela got a divorce. That's hilarious. Nelson Mandela got a divorce. Rock: Let me explain what this means to you. If Nelson Mandela can't make it work... Rock: Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in a South African prison... - Right. - ...being beaten and tortured. He can take that. Rock: He did that with no problem. He's hilarious. Emcee: Garry Shandling. ( cheers and applause ) Shandling: Well, I'm not-- Hey. This is what I'm like. I have nothing really prepared, and I'm not a professional like the other fellows. And I have a lot to tell you, but I don't feel safe. I think you're only interested in the funny parts. You're like my shrink who said, "Garry, honestly, go home and work on this and put some fuckin' jokes in there." ( both laugh ) I talk to her for 50 minutes, and I know if she'd give me another 10 minutes I could fuck her, because I've built up the intimacy with the small talk. Garry Shandling, in 20 years, is going to look just like Jackie Mason. - Right. - A little taller. ( both laugh ) I haven't told my dog he's adopted yet, because I'm afraid he'll run away to look for his real parents. I want to adopt a child who looks like me. - Woman: Oh, God. - I know. "Oh, God." Well, I don't mean right away, ma'am. I had post-partum depression... when I was born. Isn't it usually the mother who has it? Oh, man. I looked up... I still remember this, serious, and I said, "Oh, no, they're Jews." ( laughing ) ( audience cheering ) This is the greatest fuckin' night in comedy that there's ever been. Seinfeld: It's over. Shandling: Good morning. Goldie Hawn: What are you doing here? I need my sport coat. You have to call me an hour ahead of time! Now I need to go through lawyers to get my sport coats. Hawn: Yeah. Brian Linehan: You say that "acting is hard for me, because I'm still learning to feel instead of verbalize." - That's right. - Where are you now? Well, you know, I think I'm getting better at it. I find myself having to cover less with my comedy than I used to. And I'm able to sort of... you know, and that's why it's a challenge for me, and that's why I wanted to act, because I think I can grow as a person through it. Maybe not. Well, let's hope I can. You make me uncomfortable. I don't know why. Why do you think? I don't know. I have a couple of ideas. Duchovny: I think he wanted to be, you know, a great actor. I think he thought of that as somehow better, you know, or more artistic, or... he valued it in a way that was greater than what his natural gift was for. I'm talking to him about you being the quarterback coach. He brings up offensive coordinator. Really? What's the bad news? The bad news is you might be successful. I know how hard that is for you to handle. But, as your friend, I will see you through it. Duchovny: For me, he could not fake anything. Wayne Federman: Garry Shandling, Ta Leoni, this is Agents Mulder and Scully. - Mulder: Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you. - Ta Leone: It's a pleasure. - Big fan. Duchovny: Like when he did a part on the "X-Files" that I wrote and I directed him in. And we were shooting the scene, and I was talking to him about it. Seriously, listen, can I ask you something? Sure. Duchovny: And he said, "I just-- "I'm not-- I'm not Bruce Willis," he said. And I was just thinking, "Well, just fuckin' fake it." You know? It's a comedy, really. Just, like...just fake it. But Garry could not do that. The fact that he would bring that to bear was so beautiful and heartbreaking to me. I don't know that I could use it or help him. But it was like, he's so honest. Man 1: All right, picture time. Man 2: All right, here we go. ( indistinct chatter ) Still the masses, please. Apatow: You worked with Garry - on his movie. - Tolan: Yes. Man: All right, here we go. Here's the rehearsal. Tolan: It was about a guy who was sent from a distant planet to take over the world by impregnating some Earth women. Christmas is early this year. You guys twins? - Woman: Asshole. - Tolan: And, in effect, becomes human. In effect, falls in love. Shandling: I thought this would be a new way to tell the story of a man finding himself and seeing the foibles of human behavior on Earth. He comes down here expecting it to be a snap, and encounters not only troubles with women... I've actually decided I'm not going to have sex until I get married. Sorry? . but he encounters greed and jealousy in the workplace, and all the things that ego provides us. - You got the promotion? - And you didn't. - ( laughter ) - Champagne? Shandling: And so this movie says, if we keep going just in that direction and don't balance it out with some human emotion and heart, that we're doomed. Three billion females on the planet and you pick one that wants to get married. - What should I do? - Marry her. But I'm not trained for marriage. Perry tells me it's a living hell. - Who's Perry? - This guy at work. He didn't even think Susan was that hot. Who's Susan? Why is she hot? Is she on fire? Tolan: He may have thought, "I'm going to have this new thing, "which might be a little more manageable for me "as opposed to being the guy in charge. Why don't I be an actor?" Because he loved that challenge. And Mike Nichols was directing. Mike Nichols: That's good, Garry. That'll work, right? Cutting the music will be your cue. Tolan: They started shooting in Phoenix. And at the end of day one, I get a call from Mike saying, "Get down here." I took a quick flight and got down there, and I said, "What's going on?" And he said, "What is he doing? "I don't have time for him to find a performance. He wrote this. He should know how to do it." And he wanted Garry to do it in two takes. Nichols: Okay, ready, and... Tolan: And, as you know, he was not that kind of actor. Nichols: Action, fellas. Ed Solomon: He described an experience that's just still, to this day, one of the most painful things I've heard. There's a moment when I think Mike looked at the first set of dailies and just looked at Garry and went, like, "Oh, my God." Like just had a physical, visceral reaction that was negative. And Garry knew it. It sent him into a panic. It sent him into a free fall. James L. Brooks: I'd hear the word-for-word what happened on the set, and it wasn't the Mike I knew at all. But, holy shit, whoever was doing it to him, it was...I don't know... I don't know how you could have a rougher time as an actor starring in a movie that you'd written. I can't imagine a tougher experience. Garry was in an unfamiliar and totally vulnerable situation. And I think Mike must've felt singularly trapped that with this script came Garry. The chemistry was so wrong. And Garry had, I think, in honesty, had to endure a protracted period of time, being directed by a great man and a witty man and one of the smartest men alive, who did not want to be there after day one. And who was, in his upset... punishing. ( music playing ) I can't even think about what my jokes are. Interviewer: Oh, my God, someone left... - Oh, I'd like one of those. - ...Breath Savers. Do you think that these could be bad...these could be poisoned? Apatow: I don't know where this is from, but Garry wrote a series of fake quotes for the poster. He wrote, "I tried my darndest to pull this off. Garry Shandling." - ( laughs ) - And then he wrote, "I thought we could do it. Annette Bening." "I thought Mike Nichols, Garry Shandling, "Greg Kinnear, Annette Bening-- "what could go wrong? Wait till you see. John Goodman." ( both laugh ) Shandling: The reason I was mad at Brad Grey, the reason I'm mad at Mike Nichols, is because I find this behavior immoral and unethical. I no longer know how to pick out someone not crazy, so it freezes me right now. I'm frozen. And simultaneously thinking, "Do I really just want to be in this business?" I've got to live my life. Garry had a line that he said often. I'd say, "How are you?" He'd say, "It's the five topics." So, the five topics, I might not remember all five, but one of them was this house, everything that's wrong with this house, and the architect made a mistake, and it should have been this way and that way. So, that would be one of the topics. A girlfriend of the moment would always be one of the topics. And Brad Grey would be one of the topics. And show business would be one of the topics. And spirituality. So, you'd say, "How are you today?" "Oh, it's the five topics." You know, you just pick one. And when Garry got ulcers at one point, got diagnosed with ulcers, and we were talking about Brad, and he said, "Wait, wait, wait, wait." He put his hand on his stomach. "Wait, wait, wait. No, we have to change the subject." And I said, "What?" And he said, "It hurts a little bit, "and I get a real signal now when I should be off a certain subject." And it was always an effort to let go of it. Apatow: So in that period when he was getting over the tough experience working with Mike Nichols, he settles his lawsuit. DeBecker: Yes, I think that, ultimately, Brad did not want to go to trial, and the settlement was very favorable to Garry. Charlie Rose: The lawsuit you settled, you got that settled? Shandling: Yes, I'm happy that's in the past. Brad Grey was here on this program. How did that go? - It was fine. Yeah. - Yeah. He basically didn't tell me the nature of the deal. He said you traded some properties. - I mean, it is a... - Nobody admitted anything. You just traded properties and that was it. It's been printed that I got ownership of my shows, which I'm thrilled about. That's pretty good. These are very hot... these are good properties to have. So you came out with something, not nothing? Oh, I came out with... Apatow: As a result of Garry's lawsuit, it seems to have changed the business a bit. DeBecker: I think that's true. I mean, people certainly recognize that you cannot be somebody's manager and be the studio all at the same time. And that's really what the legacy of that case is. ( punching bag being hit ) Peter Berg: When he felt righteous about an issue, he was gonna get you. You know, something happened at some point to Garry that created this wild energy that, you know, lit a fuse, and beauty and poetry and art came out of it, but rage came out of it. And boxing became a tool for him. Shandling: You can't fake it in the ring. You've got to really know yourself. And the punching and getting punched has to be one. It's a very soul-searching, Zen kind of experience, because you have somebody throwing punches at you, and you have to transcend that, which is like transcending life. ( dings ) ( punches landing ) Berg: Nobody enjoys getting punched. But some people seem to need that every once in awhile. And I think he wanted to feel that pain. Garry and I started this gym. And this gym and these people were a very valuable component to Garry. Nobody knew who he was here other than, "Garry from the boxing gym." "Garry who liked to punch and liked to talk about fighting." I mean, he would go up to Ukrainian fighters when he was hosting the Emmys and pitch them jokes. And then not do the joke if they didn't laugh. If they didn't laugh. Oh, he took it very seriously. Announcer: Garry Shandling! ( applause ) Apatow: Well, he was obsessed with reinventing the Emmys and worked so hard on the Emmys, like it was a giant Garry comedy special. Thank you. This is great. I got to look at Brad Pitt all night. Great. It's like looking at a mirror, isn't it? ( laughter ) I love "The Sopranos." It's a fantastic show. - ( applause ) - Here's what flipped me out, is in the first episode, Tony Soprano's mother is literally planning to have him killed. That's why I admire Italian women. Jewish moms drag it out a whole lifetime. ( laughter ) I like "Sex and the City," but, of course, why wouldn't I? I mean, it's about four sexually frustrated women who sit around talking. I particularly like, frankly, the older one. Wait, I'm sorry. I'm thinking of "The View." You know, I shave one leg so when I'm in bed it feels like I'm with a woman. Listen, you know, you should come on our show - and just do a part. - Oh, "Sex and the City"? I should be. I have an idea, actually, for that. - Oh, really? - Yeah. But it's pretty provocative. Well, that's perfect. What is it? - Well, now's not the time. - No, no, man. Just tell me. ( chuckles ) What do you think? Shandling: That was a kickass show, I have to say. It got these great reviews. And I remember walking off after those four live hours of TV, and my best buddy at the time was sitting next to me in a chair. And I looked at him and I said, "I think that's it for a while." I'd just been on a dead run. I hadn't really lived. I'd devoted myself to working. So then I started traveling and growing up in a more real way. I'm wearing now... I'm not wearing any mosquito repellent, and I'm wearing new car smell. That stuff you spray in cars. All the kids think I've got a new car back in America. Which I don't, but I smell like a new car. Do you think I look fat? How old do you think I look? ( lowing ) What do I weigh? How old do I look? How old... how old do I look? Oh, here comes a bus. This is good. I'll take the average of what they tell me. What do I weigh? ( music playing ) Apatow: How hard is it to slow down, take breaks, to, you know, not feel the need to be the most mega-successful person? Like, what is the challenge...? I wouldn't know what that feels like, Judd. - ( Apatow laughs ) - I wouldn't know. ( laughs ) It's fuckin' terrifying. It's fuckin' terrifying. Because, what if the train leaves and you can never get back on? That's the key. What if it leaves, and I can never get back on? And they go, "Too bad, dude, "you looked a gift horse in the mouth. You should never have done that." But I've gone through a bunch of different times in my life like that, and I think Garry was definitely going through a... an identity crisis at first, and then acceptance. of, like, well, if I can show up and be at sea level and be really Garry. If I can be completely authentic, then I'll show up. Otherwise, fuck you. Whatever I'm risking, I'm risking to be myself, to be authentic. But, like all comics, at some point, you starting going, "Can I survive without it? Who am I without it?" ( music playing ) Kevin Smith: I've always wondered, is there something of, like, Alexander, you get to the end of the known world, you've, like, "I conquered it all," and you weep, because there's like, "I've done it." Like, once you to do something like a "Larry Sanders," it's just like, you... and you walk away, that's it. You don't have to do anything again until the end of time if you don't want to. Shandling: Someone said to me, "Why don't you come back on TV and do another series?" And I said, "Yeah, I'm thinking of doing a reality show called, 'Oh, No, Not Him Again.'" ( laughs ) Woman: This is sequence 201, take one. - When you guys are ready. - Shandling: Okay, yeah. I think it's a little simpler, huh? Man: I know you're not. Apatow: I remember when he did the voice of the turtle in "Over the Hedge." That was very satisfying. And, by the way, lots of fiber in there, too. Apatow: It was the type of job that you could've just read the lines and it would've been a fun thing to do. But he took it on himself to help with the rewrites. Would walk into those sessions angry at some times. I'm with you, I'm with you. Grayson: You know, this was not a gig for Garry. This was something that he had to make as good as it could possibly be. Man: What is that thing? Ozzie? Ozzie, get up. I know you're not dead. I can hear you-- Ozzie, get up. I know you're not dead. I can-- I can see you breathing. I can do this. Karey Kirkpatrick: At times, I guess it was maddening. It's a little maddening when you're in a recording session and the clock is ticking. But, ultimately, I really respected it, because it was the craft of the joke writing. It was kind of the first time I had ever worked with somebody with that level of detail. The line I had was "Oh, yeah, you're dead. You're dead this time." But I don't know that it's going to track. It's "Ozzie, get up." Kirkpatrick: He'd have the script, with just tons of alternates. Constantly, constantly looking for the best version. There's lines like, "I don't venture out much." There's even places in my shell I haven't been. Kirkpatrick: And they were doing a plan, RJ, the Bruce Willis character says... Okay, step two. Kirkpatrick: And Garry added... I thought we'd be dead by step two, so this is going great. Kirkpatrick: Garry had spent four years working on "Over the Hedge," and really put a lot of himself into it. - You're the devil. - ( screams ) I don't think he's able to shut off that quest for-- I guess, people might say perfectionism, but it's a quest for excellence. The best version of whatever he's doing, especially when it comes to the funny. I would like to mention now that I appreciate everybody who's piecing this together. I am now going to do it assuming it's being pieced together. So, I appreciate it. Hope your family's happy and you're happy. I appreciate the help in making it look like a continuous performance. Feel free to play this tape at the animated audio awards that are in Culver City, I think, this year. Have a great time, and if you need me to present something for you, I will. Just really appreciative for everybody who's there. Apatow: Garry would always say to me, "When people ask how I'm doing, what do you say?" - Duchovny: Right. - Then I would say, "I always say Garry is either "the happiest person I know, or has completely lost his mind." And he would say, "Yeah, that's about right." ( both laugh ) - And that brought him comfort in some way. - Right. But it was hard to know what was going on. Duchovny: Garry was a guy that people asked about. Like, if you were known as one of Garry's friends, people would ask you about Garry. - People were concerned. - Maybe. Some people were concerned. Some people... some people never understood why he wasn't working more. You know, it was like, they would see a guy with all this talent and they would go, "Why doesn't Garry do another show?" "What's he doing? Why isn't he doing something?" - Apatow: Yeah. - And at a certain point, I... you know, I was just like, "He doesn't want to work." But, at a certain point, I said, "Well, what does he have to do? "He just did two seminal television series. I mean, what more do you want?" Garry had hit home runs twice. He had two Super Bowl rings. And I didn't think he felt he could do it again, because he had given everything. And that was it. I think his whole methodology was to basically fall over the finish line for something. Duchovny: I feel like that ambition had kind of left him. I think he was trying to find the next question that was going to interest him. And whatever form that was going to take. - ( groans ) - Shandling: Dan? - Yeah. - Come on in. - Wait a minute. - You know what we'll do? - What? - Do this another time. ( laughs ): Oh, come on! - Hey, Garry. - Hi, Dan. How are you doing? Good to see you. The great Pete Tolan, who's eating my nuts. And that's not the first time, by the way. Tolan: The next time, weirdly, that I saw him as focused in his way was doing the "Sanders" DVD set, which he put tremendous amount of energy into. As you know, I don't tape any of my sexual encounters, because it requires me spending too much time in editing. ( laughs ) Apatow: And so the extras became this meta-examination of the real people who made it, and that was just as fascinating to him as the actual show. Shandling: Yeah, let's go down this way. What do you say? Seinfeld: Beautiful. Look at the light. Shandling: Light so far is good enough? Is it good enough? Look around. I don't know if I was on my... I don't know if I was on my game or not yet. Editing puts you on your game. Well, but we want to... we want to edit very little of it. We want it to be natural, like this. To be an actor is kind of to say to the world, "I have nothing to say, "and I want to become hugely famous because I can say things that other people will think of." No, acting... and the challenge of real acting, and great acting, is being able to bring up certain human emotion and be open. Oh, please, the human emotion. You're duplicating human life itself, in a way, if you're connected to what your own shit is. - ( pretends to snore ) - Okay. Fall asleep. I guess. That's fine. And I'm not just saying that. It's just... it's... I will say this-- go ahead. - No, you will say this. - I will say this. People are always putting these things in front of their statements. "I'll say this." "I'll tell you one thing." - Okay, let me be honest. - Question? May I say something? ( laughs ) Out of the blue. I'll tell you what I think. Here's a thought that crossed my mind. Now how about this? I'll tell you what nobody agrees with. Let me bounce something off you. ( both laughing ) Shandling: What we're tending to do, Judd, these conversations, they're sort of running... the feel is that they're as-is. So, there's places where it isn't... many places where it isn't funny. - Yeah, yeah. - It's just laying there. Is that conceivable for a DVD track? Apatow: Yeah. The marriage thing, Gar. I said you do look good. I heard that. The marriage thing. What do you think? Do you think it's something you can do? I mean, I don't know that there's the right person, been the right reasons, in the right time, in the right maturity on my level. I don't know. I'd want to do it for the right reason. What would a right reason be? I'm not sure if I know, but I think I would see it when it was there. Tell me what you want to tell me about this. Berg: I will just never forget him talking about wanting to manipulate expectation. Shandling: Always to extend compassion... Compassion to all the sentient beings in that direction. - All sentient beings. - Yeah. Berg: Trying to redefine the physics of conversation. Exploring silence. This is the most amazing interview I've ever had. Isn't that the idea? You used to come over. You never come over anymore. I guess you're busy. Did you... did you turn Jewish since I saw you last? ( laughs ) And he boxed with Alec Baldwin here. I mean, I remember coming into the gym and seeing Garry and Alec Baldwin beating the shit out of each other. Man: Just dance around. Step around. Step around. Hands up. Step around. Step. ( both grunting ) Oh, damn. Time, time. So, do you think that fear is what drives you sometimes, and I'm not kidding, in a scene? Because you bring a lot of power to a scene, do you also go into a scene and go, "I'm going to win this?" - Yes. Yes. - I'll be damned. I go into the scene and I say, "I'm going to-- I'm going to kick your fuckin' ass." - See? That's where power is. - If that's what the scene requires. - That's what your essence is. - I'm going to win. - Mine is more dancing around. - I'm going to win. What was your experience when you came in to do that episode? I was scared to death of you. I could tell you were one of those comedy cannibals that was going to rip my head off and cook it and eat it right there if you wanted to. Well, see, I don't think that's true, but that is what I feel with you when you're in the ring. - You see? - Isn't that funny? - Yup. That's what I feel. - So now you have a little bit of a taste of how I felt back in 1992. - But, see, I would-- - How do you like it? I wouldn't... - Come on, Garry. - I'm sorry we decided to... - Too much talk. - You know, Dave, I say full contact in a second. - I don't care if I die. - ( man laughs ) Within that weird space of a DVD extra, he put as much effort as he did... - More. - ...to making "Larry Sanders." More. He put more into it. Seinfeld: The thing about television is that it always wins in the end. In other words, those... these shows that we have, if we didn't kill them, they would kill us. Berg: And that's truly the definition of an artist. Shandling: What do you think I should do next? Uh... I would say two words. Because, you've got good... I would say this. ...objective. I think lighten up. Yeah. This is actually going to make me cry. This is the most fun I've had in a couple years. - Tom Petty: Yeah. I feel good. - Don't you? Seriously. You know, you were under a lot of pressure from time to time. It was unbearable. Yeah, and then you had the lawsuit and the whole... - I shouldn't mention-- - Yeah, you can. Because we've talked about it. It just made it very hard. I mean, God, I really felt bad for you, you know. We were both... I was getting a divorce and you were getting sued, so we were perfect company. You know? We could just bitch endlessly. But it was true. We were just destroyed. And look at you now. I mean, you've come out of it. You're making a DVD. ( laughs ) Apatow: Garry was doing his DVD extras, and he was going to talk to Ricky Gervais for that. And Ricky was doing a series for English television where he had conversations with different comedians he admired. - Right. - And they were supposed to do Garry's DVD part first. And when Garry got home, Ricky Gervais was completely set up. Grayson: They were shooting already. Two years' worth of salad there for me. What's in this one? Ice lollies and vodka. That's the fake one, for filming, with the salad. That's the real one. And Garry walks into being shot without anybody telling him we're about to shoot. When he was in the kitchen, he was livid. Why did you ruin that moment by looking? - ( laughs ) - How did you get in? How did you-- was that you that was looking--? - Gervais: It's your house. - Was that you - that was looking this way? - Gervais: No. Who was looking right here when I was walking in? When I was standing out there, didn't you see that I was walking in? - No. - Was that you? First you said, "No, that wasn't me." No, I didn't see you. I swear, I didn't-- Well, now you're changing the story to, "It was me, but I didn't see you." That's true, but you said "Is it you that looked out there?" What I was doing was talking to my producer that was here. What's interesting is, and I love Ricky Gervais, is Ricky Gervais'-- the series of eyes was going, "Where am I? What's going on? I am scared." Well, where do you want to do this interview, then? I don't know, by the kitchen sink isn't so bad. I just need to put my contact lenses on, Ricky. Good. We can get this. This is dynamite. Don't do it over the sink. What if it goes down the plug? What are you, controlling? How long you think I've been wearing contact lenses? You're giving me advice of how to put my contact lens in? It's a nice house. It's a little eye into a gear that Garry had when his anger came out, and... and when he felt abused in some way. - Yeah. - That wouldn't come up often, but that was the look. I'm looking at you. You wore black. And I was worried I didn't make an effort. I can't tell what you do on purpose to make yourself look that way and what you don't. I don't know what your choices are. I don't need to tell you... I want to get onto this, actually. The ego of the comedian. Do we care about how good we look? I think that is not the ego of a comedian. I think that's ego, period. - ( cell phone rings ) - That's my ass detector, and it's gone off because you're here. Come this way. Come into the garden. I want to show you something. Apatow: Garry said that on some level, he was creating some sort of moment that was awkward. And, in some sense, teaching Ricky Gervais to be present in his performance. Yeah. Oh, that's correct. It was almost like the psychologist teaching the patient. - Here's what I want to do. - Go on. I want to take a minute without thinking right now. Okay. What do you mean? Tell me what you mean. No, I don't know. What do you want me to do? - Nothing. - Okay. All right. Absolutely nothing. And not even think. Okay. We're taking a break. Don't even think. Do you mean do you want to take a break? - No. - Okay, all right. Okay, all right. I'm up for that. I'm thinking. I got to be honest. I'm thinking. I can't not think. I see it in your work. It's valuable in your work. Do you know how valuable not thinking is in your work? No. It's like he wanted to get deeper into the truth. Yes, yup. And he was stripping away artifice. And then he keeps stripping it away until finally it's him confronting his ex-fiance. - Yeah, I mean-- yeah. - On camera. - And they have it out for the DVD extra. - ( laughs ) Hi, Garry. - Let's just take this beat. - Yeah. So when was the last time I saw you? Wow. ( exhales ) Couple years, at least, right? - A few years. - Is it? And you have a child? - Yeah. - You didn't bring him? No. Not my child? No. Get that straight right now. Yeah. That's a whole 'nother can of worms. Well, you wanted to get-- you can talk about it. I just wanted a baby, and he gave me a job. ( laughs ) ( sniffles ) My personal observation is... it was hard for both of us to go on without each other. In my opinion. Human nature drove my decision to find a good man-- a primal need-- to be the father of my child. And I...I got to do that. But as far as soul mate and the connection, we had that. I thought that he would perhaps be in another relationship, but he wasn't. ( music playing ) Apatow: It seems like there's something in Buddhism and that type of thought that lends itself to being solitary. There's very little in it that's about connecting and figuring out the dance with another person. So, when you are thinking about that exclusively in your spiritual life, it's not directing you towards a partnership. It's directing you to let go of all attachments. Look, I got this tattoo. I haven't shown anybody. It's a Buddhist symbol for emptiness. Ego emptiness. It's a circle. It's the empty circle. Are you a Buddhist now? Well, I mean, I've been meditating as long as I've known you, but I wouldn't classify it as one thing or the other. - As one particular thing. - No. ( music playing ) Silverman: I think he turned to Buddhism, and that was what he put so much of his time and his love into. But it's not because he's Zen. It's because he was in desperate need of being Zen. So he had rage. He could really hold on to stuff and be troubled by things that to other people might seem small. But he was always working on that, you know? Always trying to process it and understand it and... just from losing a brother. But that was never really what it was about. It was about a mother losing a son. And I don't know that he was able to really have feelings around it. And those feelings had to go somewhere. ( audience laughing ) Shandling: My mother, I swear to you, asked me if I was gay. Last month I was in Arizona, where my mother lives, and I'm driving her across town. And, she says, "Who are you dating?" And I don't tell my mother anyone that I'm dating, because it always would result in a fight. My mother's deeply conflicted. She wants to have grandchildren, but I don't think she wants me to have them with another woman. ( laughter ) So... seriously. My mother wants to marry me. I told my shrink that and he... he did something I've only seen blackjack dealers do. He looked at me and went... My mother... ( cheers and applause ) Really, I wish it was funny to me. ( music playing ) David Josephs: She really... okay, had a mental illness, that's the bottom line. And she needed to be on medication. And she needed treatment. And we could just never get her to do that. We tried and we tried and we tried. If that had been done, she would have been much better, and everything would have been easier. The ironic thing was he tried so hard, and every time it blew up. Okay, Garry was, like, going to confront her and go out to the cemetery where Barry was, and Irv, and have a conversation about it, you know? What he went through, and being sent away and not going to the funeral. She didn't want to hear it. You know, she took it as a personal attack. You know, so after that he never came back. That was it. But to me, in the end, it's about forgiveness. Because no matter what the story is, and her mental illness and all the rest, and everything that was done, if you can't get to forgiveness and acceptance, then you're carrying that shit with you. Saget: Every couple years, we'd see each other. Not enough for my taste. You know, I saw him once and I said, "Garry, I just... "I can't spend the rest of my life "not being able to be friends with you and not being able to talk with you." And he said, "Okay." And he took out his phone. It was like, bam. It was like, you know, 20 years, no problem. Splice it together. And then we just started doing cock jokes. I'm sorry, that was our connection. ( Apatow laughs ) Saget: And I kept trying to reach out to him after that. I always tried to reach out to him. But he didn't-- he didn't answer. And so that's... that's where the sadness comes in for me. That's the thing. If he didn't love me and he just flat out hated me and felt betrayed, that's one thing. But if in his heart he loved me, then we were on the same page. And I don't know if it's fixable because of all the stuff that happens, but love is love. And there ain't a lot of it in this life. Not enough. Leno: All right my first guest, an old buddy of mine, Emmy-winning actor, writer, comedian, raconteur. His latest film is the animated hit "Over the Hedge," which is playing in theaters everywhere. Please welcome, the lovely Garry Shandling. Garry Shandling is over here. David Letterman: Here he is, Garry Shandling. - Ten years. - It's been 10 years since you were here. - Isn't that remarkable? - It's remarkable. And is there a problem? No. I mean, I think that you and I have a fantastic relationship. I love you very much. - ( laughs ) - I thought... I thought the last time I was here I didn't plug anything. I just came to see you. - Which I appreciate... - But, I love you. I love you as well, and I think it's important that we get together once a decade. I don't take Viagra, because I don't want another erection. Really? You tell me one that hasn't gotten me into some complicated mess. I'm telling you, if you don't get an erection, as a wise man I can give you advice: listen to it. It probably knows better than you. Your life is fantastic. You've got the... I don't have kids yet, I haven't had a bypass yet. ( laughs ) You're way ahead of me. And I salute you, because most of my friends have it the other way around. They have the kids, then the bypass. The show was slightly ahead of its time. It kicked off all these other comedies. Good show. Do you miss doing the show? I don't know who to answer. I... I miss doing... did I what? He keeps looking at my hair while he's talking. It's spellbinding. No, I'm not looking at your hair. There's a little thing called product. Listen... Bill Maher: We're on the internet now, Garry. Wow. ( laughing ) I can't tell you the last time I was this thrilled. - ( beeping ) - That's my cell phone. I forgot to turn it off. Now, I understand that you box. Is that right? I go to this little private gym. It's next to a synagogue. And... I was having a real good-- I've gotten good. I was beating up a guy... I... good last week, and then it turns out I had gone in the wrong door. - Mm. - And... Really? I was beating... ( applause ) I'm sorry for the pacing. And it turns out, I was beating the crap out of the rabbi. And I was thinking, that's a small head protector he's got. And, you know, I'm catching him all over the place and the crowd is going crazy. I thought, "This is what it's about." And then the cops came in. The cops came in, pulled me off him and they said it's the most violent Passover service they'd ever seen. - Would you ever... - Commit suicide? Yeah. Well, I guess it's committing suicide, yeah. - I've written a note. - You have? You have it ready? No, you haven't written a note. - I did. - Really? What...? "I'm not mad at anyone. This is just something I wanted to do for myself." ( laughs ) That's my suicide note. Hey, I'm looking for someone to do the forward for the note. If you would do it, that would be fantastic. "I know Garry is a very stable man." Are you writing my forward now? Is that what you just did? - Yeah. I'm sorry. - It's okay. Well, how would you write-- what forward would you write for my suicide note? "The loss to the comedy world is insurmountable. But he wasn't doing that much anyway just before he died, so maybe it was the right thing." - ( laughter ) - Yeah. Shandling: Hey, Kevin, it's Garry. Brother. Basketball on Sunday. I hope you can make it. If the weather's like this, it'll be really pleasant, won't it? ( static crackles ) Okay, I can be spacier than this, my friend... Radio host: From NPR News, this is "Day to Day." Los Angeles is embroiled in it's own wire-tapping scandal, and it has all the makings of a film noir. Indictments are flying in a case involving private eye Anthony Pellicano. He was allegedly paid to spy on scores of Hollywood celebrities, including Keith Carradine, Sylvester Stallone and Garry Shandling. Shandling: Give me a call when you get this, bye. Apatow: In the period when Garry was doing the lawsuit, he used to say, "I think they're bugging my phone." I remember there was a guard out front of his house a long time. And he put cameras out front of his house. And it felt very paranoid. Everybody thought Garry was getting paranoid. And then when Anthony Pellicano was arrested, years later, they said that he was bugging Garry's phone. And, you know, there was a sigh of relief that he was actually-- - Being bugged. - Being bugged. Yeah. Radio host 1: Private investigator Anthony Pellicano is on trial in federal district court in Los Angeles. DeBecker: Pellicano was a private investigator and was making a name for himself as being the enforcer, or the guy who could fix anything. Radio host 2: Powerhouse Hollywood attorney Burt Fields used Pellicano extensively. He hasn't been indicted, but he said he was brought in for questioning. He worked for an attorney named Burt Fields often, who was the attorney that was against Garry in the lawsuit that he brought against Brad Grey. Radio host 2: Paramount chief Brad Grey was questioned by the grand jury. Among the scores of victims... Apatow: How did they find out that Pellicano was connected to Garry's case? It all stemmed from my case. Radio host 3: Pellicano was accused of threatening LA Times reporter Anita Busch by having a fish and a rose placed in her car along with bullet-sized hole in the windshield. Anita Busch: They raided Pellicano's office. They ended up finding reams of wiretaps, and in that was the wire-tapping of Garry. News reporter: Thousands of hours of illegal recordings. Man: Garry Shandling was subjected to endless wiretaps. He kept trying to figure out how it is that the people he was negotiating with seemed to know his every move before he did. And Garry was asked to testify in the case? Yes, and "ask" is the right word, because you don't have to do that. ( music playing ) Whenever you worked with Garry as a lawyer, you said, "Okay no jokes." But at the beginning, as the government lawyer began with sort of the standard question, "What do you do for a living?" And Garry gave that groan. "That's a bad sign." ( music playing ) Busch: The experience through the Anthony Pellicano case, that kind of darkness being around you, it just affects you. Being a victim of crime brings you to your knees, and it's really hard to get up and stand up from that. It doesn't matter who you are or what status you have. It's... it's hard to bring yourself back up. It's hard to bring your confidence back up. It's hard to just stand again. He had PTSD. There's no doubt about it. And it destroyed his belief system in all that was good. It affected him on a cellular level. It hurt him mentally. It hurt his confidence. It hurt him spiritually. He really felt after the Brad lawsuit and the drama around Brad that... that it had hurt him a lot. He showed me once two videos. He said, "Look at that. That's what I was like. That's the energy I had before." And he said, "Look at this." Man: Are we rolling? DeBecker: And he really felt his energy had gone down enormously. Sometimes I don't know when to be funny. Because I can be funny at the drop of a hat, except sometimes you can't find a hat. Then you're fucked. O'Brien: By the time I'm doing "The Tonight Show..." So, a big congratulations. O'Brien: ...I sensed someone who was really struggling. ...comfortable. There's no view, so to say. No windows. He was very neurotic. And I'd go and talk to him backstage beforehand, and a lot of notes, and a lot of half-apologies, and a lot of, "Maybe I'll do..." you know? And me talking... kind of talking him down off a ledge, saying-- I said to him, "Garry, we're just gonna go out there, and it's gonna be you and me, and we're gonna have fun." And he'd be like, "Yes, yes, that's what I need to hear. "That's what I need to hear. Yes, yes, yes, that's good. That's positive. I can use that. You're right." I'm for gay... I'm okay with gay marriage, but they're not... they're letting gay divorce slide by. They're not focusing... I wouldn't want to see anybody get stuck in a relationship that they don't want to be in. But they're going to let that slide by, and they're going to pass gay marriage and forget about gay divorce, and they're going to have to go through the whole thing all over again. You mean there's going to be a national debate? "I hate him as much as straight people hate each other. We're entitled to our hatred, too." This is where you jump in and help me. ( laughs ) No, no, no. This is great. I seem to recall "The Tonight Show" about the host helping out. I remembered feeling, this is a rocky ride and then there'd be something really funny, but then the audience would laugh, and the laugh might not be where he wanted it to be, and I could see him get thrown a little bit. Like, well, why are they laughing at that? Too hyper self-aware. I have a security camera. I have a security camera at my house, but I have it reversed. I have it... it shoots my living room and there's a screen outside in front so you can watch as you go by, because that's how much... ( laughing ) That's how much I love being on TV. And then I hear somebody go by and I go, "Hey, how are you doing?" into my security camera. Into your security camera. That's a very nice system you have. I don't remember being this forced when I did the show last time. ( music playing ) Berg: Something definitely was blocking him. There were times when he was almost non-lucid. Maybe it was drugs or whatever. But even in those moments there were these really articulate, bright, cutting comments that made it impossible to gauge, you know, what was really going on. I felt like he really was almost creatively paralyzed for a long time. ( indistinct chatter ) Johnson: You brought gifts! - Silverman: Whoa. - Johnson: Yay! Okay, I'm not good at breaking the silence. I want a little love. - Oh, yeah, yeah! - Shandling: Don't overdo it. Give me more love. Isaacson: He had years where he would say, "I just don't feel that well." You know what it's like when you get-- - "How do I look?" - Yeah. "I don't know if I'm working out enough. I think I put on five pounds." No, this is... this is not even in the ballpark. It's just that I'm a little heavier than you think I am. Isaacson: But there was this underlying thing for several years of him being concerned that he didn't feel that well. - ( camera shutters click ) - Photographer: Awesome. Good. - I look good. - Photographer: Good, yeah. - That's nice. - Now does it look, conceivably, as though I can't stand up? ( laughs ) That, as the years have gone by, I can no longer stand? - Huh? - Photographer: Very strong. Does it look like a choice? Or does it look like I'm having a stroke? Look, this is from talking to Rip. And this is from telling Rip that it's going to be okay. All right, Gar... That's the only one, right? You're gonna be wearing the coat. I sweat Agent Orange. I sweat Agent Orange. That shirt can't be used again. An actor prepares. The inside of his jacket's soaking wet, too. Man, I'm... Why am I... I sweat? Apatow: Somewhere in there, he's having a thyroid problem. But he didn't know he had it. He just said, "It's the exact same feeling you would think you would get from aging." And that he thought, "Oh, I must be just getting older." But really, he was sick. Grayson: Yeah, he was ill. I was with him the day that he was doubled over in pain. He goes, "I got to go home. I can't do this anymore." And that was when he had acute pancreatitis. And they traced it to his thyroid. They took out the thyroid, and he felt better instantly. And he thought he was home free. And then it was apparent that he had a secondary condition, which can sometimes happen if you wait too long. If this... so, you know, he might have had low-threshold pain for a long time and was not talking about it. But he had cysts on his pancreas. And so... And that surgery is a life-threatening surgery. Yeah, they have to go so far internally to get to the pancreas that it is one of those major surgeries. Like open-heart, you know? ( music playing ) Alex Richanbach: When I first met him, he was really sick. And that's a weird way to get to know a person, because I didn't know that this was different for him. You know? I just knew that this was, like, off-camera Garry. We're going to say "Merry Christmas" from Alex Richanbach, and then you say, "Garry Shandling." - No, I will not. - ( laughs ) Two Jews on Christmas... We were talking about doing this documentary. Merry Christmas, from Alex Richanbach... - And Garry Shandling. - ( laughs ) About the secret Garry Shandling Sunday basketball game. And as we were talking about the documentary, I kept on meeting with all these people. And what I found was, I guess, people would talk about it they'd almost tear up, because it was family, and Garry was such an important part of everybody's life. Shandling: Come on over here. I'll show you this. Or I can bring it there, if you want. Why don't we meet halfway? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, David Duchovny gave me this, and it's a monk... it's monks playing basketball in New York. And so this is the feeling of the game, isn't it? Richanbach: The game evolved out of the seven-day workweeks on "Sanders," and needing an afternoon that wasn't in the office. He used to always say, like, he wanted it to be a childlike experience, where you could just come and play basketball and eat pizza and watch TV. And he got to create the thing he didn't have growing up, which was just this day of playing basketball every week with friends. Apatow: And when he was going in for the major pancreas surgery, he was getting his estate in order. He really thought there was a chance he wasn't going to get through it. Do you remember how he prepared or how he talked about it? Richanbach: Basically he was like, "This could be it. "I could die on the table. "And so I need to let you know that the next, you know, "six weeks or so could be the last six weeks. "So we should hang out and we should do some fun things, "and hopefully the surgery just makes me feel better, but maybe it won't." He did a really good job of focusing himself on those kind of tenets of Buddhism and trying to be at peace with what he was going into. But to that point, I think it was so that he would survive it. You know, he wanted to survive it. ( music playing ) Richanbach: The Garry Shandling. What up, Alex? I had... I think I'm going to be able to play basketball, like, within... tonight if not tomorrow night. I can't make myself laugh, so this would work out. ( clears throat ) It's good when you have some time in the hospital to think about the things that you need to get done. So I can... you know, get some new basketballs and a... a net. Should get a net. And... can't wait to get on the court. Pete Holmes: It's a silly place to start because it's so blunt, but we always talk about death. Like, what do you think is death? And you think it's just the end? Shandling: Let me... let me assure you, and this isn't a joke, is the older I get, the more often I think, am I-- "Are we there yet?" ( Holmes laughs ) Holmes: Meaning you are ready? Or just, this is a long trip? Shandling: Both. It's like if you were on a car trip going across the country or something, and as you get closer, you can sense that you're getting closer. I used to say, "Life is short, but not short enough." ( Holmes laughs ) You know, he kept on... he was fragile in that year afterwards. And then he started to come out of that fragileness. And he actually was thinking about calling games. I think he called one game, to tell you the truth. He was really actually getting better-- you know, trying to get better. He was determined to get better. ( indistinct chatter ) Man: Have an idea what order you want to do it? Well, it's going to go Whitney, me, Whitney, Garry, and then depends on-- depending on if Louis shows up or how much he wants to do... You don't mind when I do the Robin stuff or any of that stuff? You don't mind, you know, when I talk about being older or stuff like that? Apatow: Oh, no. Yeah, no, please. Whitney Cummings: When's the last time you were on stage? I haven't been on stage in a year and a half, till Judd said, "Come in and talk to me"... - Cummings: That's so awesome. - Shandling: ...two weeks ago. Pauly Shore: So, what's going on with you? Because, 64 is still very super young. Like, why don't you get up on that stage, you know? So, I think that may be what I do this year. Shandling: As you grow, you have to find a new purpose and intention for doing what you do, or you won't grow. So, I'm in the midst of exploring my intention for going on stage. Cummings: There he is! - Judd and Garry Shandling! - ( audience applauds ) Apatow: Hey, Garry, I used to look much younger than you, and I feel like we look close in age now. Shandling: Well, I looked in the mirror the other day, and I swear to you, I thought, "My God, I'm turning into Garry Shandling." ( laughter ) And, I did not see that coming, Judd. I just did not see that coming. And that's the truth. Apatow: I was doing a lot of sets with him at Largo, and he would come onstage. And he really was trying to be present and almost wasn't as concerned with the ideas as much as something happening and it's like he didn't care if he had all the jokes. He wanted moments to happen onstage, and he loved the idea that they didn't laugh at all then got home and slowly put it together. I'm sitting there watching CNN when they break in and say Robin Williams passed away. And I was frozen. I mean, really frozen. It's horrible. And then Wolf Blitzer says, "63 is so young." And I looked up in hope for a second. ( laughs ) And I realized, they don't say 63 is young except when somebody passes away. They don't say "63 is so young to be still in the NFL." Apatow: It was like he had to reinvent the form to do it again. And he didn't know how he would reinvent it, but he knew he was not going to do what he did before. You know, you've known me for so long. And so it's been hard for me to decide if I want to go back onstage or not back onstage. And this is like splitting the difference. Yeah. ( audience laughs ) Shandling: I'm so happy to see you. Really, I don't get out much. I'm a stay-at-home comedian. And that doesn't mean I'm not any less funny than the comedians who get out and work the clubs. If I was a woman right now, you'd be going, "Well, good for you. Good for you." You're a stay-at-home comedian. That's work. I'm still single. I've been single my whole life. E-Harmony just matched me up with a gun. Everybody thinks you're weird if you didn't get married, yet the greatest religious leaders, like Jesus, and the pope, and Buddha, not married. How fucked up are they? Buddha didn't get married because his wife would have said, "Are you going to sit around like that all day?" "No, I'm meditating, honey." "Well, why don't you meditate while you're taking out the trash?" I like Mexican people. I don't care-- I'm not worried about them taking my job. I wish George Lopez was here now to come up and finish this. Still they're talking about a wall, after all this technology, the way to protect us from Mexico is a fuckin' wall. Which I think they did at the Alamo, didn't they? Didn't they have a wall, and then the Mexicans had what you call...ladders. I have a complete fear about the Bible. I was raised as a Jew, but I kind of have a Buddhist practice, because I'm no fuckin' idiot. The Jewish thing kills you. You don't even need an accident. It's just a slow drip, drip, drip, kind of water torture. You know, that's why I'm open to people having marriages if they're gay, if it's two men, two women. The two-women thing only throws me if it's two Jewish women, 'cause the idea of two Jewish mothers makes my head explode. I have to be honest. I didn't start to feel old or anything until people would say, "You look tired." When I wasn't, right? Not tired at all. Sort of never felt better in my life. But, I mean, like six times a day, "You look... you look tired." Are those the people that when they see someone dying, they go, "You look fuckin' exhausted." Apatow: We used to share a shrink. We went to the same shrink for years. And then Garry left the shrink and didn't tell me. You wait to get on TV to get mad at me about all these things. But, you can't, like, leave the shrink and not say, "Hey, Judd, time to leave the shrink." Then, like, five years later, I'm like, "Hey, how are you doing with him?" And, he's like, "Oh, I left five years ago." - I'm like, "What?" - Yeah, that was a masseuse. Oh. If you-- if you were telling him your problems, that's just a choice. That's an unusual choice that you took. I go up onstage now to be very real. Like I fall into the trap of performing, so to say. I'm moving from doing to being. I love you guys. That's all I know. I really love you. ( audience applauds ) I try-- I try and rip this heart out year after year, but I still love you. Woman: We love you too, Garry. - I love you, ma'am. - Woman: We love you, Garry. Kevin Smith: There is no more act. Life is the act. You open up your mouth, and it is the act. Sacha Baron Cohen: Garry, for me, was my mentor. You know, he gave me the confidence to think that I could make really funny stuff. And, you know, having a guy who I consider the greatest comedian in the world saying you can do it and you've got the potential was immensely inspiring. And then, he just helped out with all the movies. - Yeah. - You know, he saw potential in me and you and McKay and some others and said, "All right," you know, "I'm going to help these guys achieve what they can achieve, even if they don't know they're capable of achieving it." This guy just wanted to make people feel better and make people their best. He did that for me when I was doing "The 40-Year-Old Virgin." He kept saying, "The end has to be about the fact "that his sex is better than everybody else's sex, because he's really in love." And I said, "I can't show the sex. I don't know how to show great sex." He's like, "You got to do it." And then, he would call me all the time and go, - "Have you figured it out?" - ( laughs ) And Carell just goes, "Well, maybe I just sing a song." Then peace will guide The planets And love will steer The stars This is the dawning... - Apatow: In my head, I'm putting everything through a Garry filter. Just trying to get as truthful as you can be, no matter what. And then he always felt like the comedy would follow. He's like this comic angel. When you were in the shit, he would appear. And he was there to go, "We can do it." You know, "You've got the talent, you can make it right." - ( artillery explosions ) - Fuck! I think we can take them, but we're gonna need a new spot! Roger that! Berg: I never did a film that I didn't have him come in and do a Shandling pass at. When I was getting ready to make "Lone Survivor," Garry started talking to me, and this was maybe a four-hour conversation. I'm not kidding, literally for four hours about why that movie needed to be made, what that movie was, what brotherhood really is. I don't know. I never would have thought Garry Shandling would have been-- of everyone in my life, that Garry Shandling would've been my muse in that movie. Do you or do you not possess a specialized weapon? - I do not. - You do not? I do not. Well, it depends on how you define the word "weapon." The Iron Man weapon. Jon Favreau: He had the kind of impact where I thought I had a special relationship with him because he was a bit of a mentor. I would show him my scripts. I would show him cuts of my movie. He would make the time for me. But there were dozens of people who felt this deep connection to the guy. A whole generation, really, of people coming up and how generous he was with his time. Because I think he knew, especially like the experience he had with George Carlin, a few words, well-placed, can really change the trajectory of somebody's career. Silverman: He was so warm and so supportive. He was everything he needed and was never given for everyone. He was so nice to me for so long, and I thought, I feel like he's trying to be the parents he wishes he had. He never guilts me about anything. Which, I always... I was aware with Garry, that he never plays on guilt. And he did so many things through us, through you, through Sacha, through everyone he touched. Every single person. I mean, I think he's affected probably "NCIS" scripts somehow. You know what I mean? Like the "Garry effect" is, I think, beyond what any of us can really imagine. ( music playing ) Kevin Nealon: He would make you feel so good about yourself. Every time I talked to him, "Kevin, you're at the top of your game. You've never been funnier, and you're looking good." And he genuinely-- he wanted things to happen for everybody. Apatow: I think he felt a calling to be a monk. - Nealon: Yeah. - Apatow: He felt some calling to mentor people. Nealon: He was a mentor to so many comics and writers. Some people would say, you know, you've done... "It's Garry Shandling's Show" and "Larry Sanders." What's your next thing? And the next thing was us. You know, it was all of us. O'Brien: When the whole thing blew up for me, "The Tonight Show," I thought "I just have to get out of town." So we flew to Hawaii, and I was going to just stay in my room and try and sort through this madness that I had just been through. And the phone rings. I'm alone for literally about a minute. And the phone rings and I pick it up, and I go, "Hello?" And I hear, like, "Conan?" And I'm like, "Yeah." "It's Garry Shandling." ( laughs ) And I thought he was calling from... And I said, "Where are... you calling from L.A.?" Are you calling from New York?" And he said, "I'm four bungalows down. I heard you're here." And his attitude was, "there's no escaping me." We spent... this was a week I was supposed to spend with my wife and kids, I spent the entire week with Garry Shandling. - ( audience applauds ) - Yeah, it was... And I'll tell you something. I was at a real low point. He counseled me, he cheered me up, he told me jokes, he talked to me about philosophy, he talked to me about how there are bigger things in the world and how I was going to be fine. He'd talk about Eckhart Tolle. He went-- about all this amazing stuff. We took this really long walk. We climbed over lava formations. We went to this far part of the island, and we saw a little stretch of sand, and we laid down on it. And the sun started to go down. And we're both watching the sun go down. And I turned to Garry and I said, "Garry, this is the most romantic moment of my life, and it's with you." I just hope that he was able to feel some sense of how much he meant to people. That would be my wish, is that he was able to understand what a quality person he was. Shandling: It all comes around. And I get a great joy and learn myself about where I'm at by helping. And I think I do. I think I do help, and I think I do learn. - I love you. - Love you, too. I really did... - Look at you. - Look at you. - You look great. - ( laughs ) Nice, strong shoulders. Well, I got some more working out to do, but we'll talk about that. I got to catch up on my training. Could I take a quick leak? - Yeah. The-- You use the women's or the...? - ( chuckles ) Seinfeld: When's the last time you were here? - This is the Comedy Store. - Seinfeld: Huh? It's always tough for me at the Comedy Store. There's a vibe that never changes. Never. It's horrible. But let's deal with it. Come on. I know. This is a little uncomfortable for me. - Shandling: This is... - Seinfeld: Garry. -I'm telling you. - I used to stand here and watch you. - I would stand right here. - Oh! This really is a killer. - Isn't this a killer? - Because I have not been in... to hang out with you here is genius. Genius that we came here. John, Garry's 8 x 10 is right over his head there. Just kind of put that together. Shandling: There's a big picture of me. Someone sent me a big picture of me from here. It's just all embarrassing, because I don't know how to relate to the... I don't know who that guy is. - Am I right? - Yeah. Suli McCullough: With "Comedians in Cars," we had talked about using that as a vehicle to really talk about his spirituality and be really funny in the process. Like, what I thought was really great about it was how funny he was. Seinfeld: You know David Brenner passed away last year. All that material, he worked so hard on it. It's just gone. It doesn't mean anything to anyone anymore. It took so much work to create it. That material and your material is purely a vehicle for you to express your spirit and your soul and your being, and that's why you're fantastic. So it doesn't have any value beyond that? It doesn't have any value beyond you expressing yourself spiritually in a very soulful, spiritual way. It's why you're on the planet. God, open up the sunroof. What year is this? You know, because he was... he was out of the limelight in a lot of ways, and people were wanting to know what he's doing, where was he. You know, there was a lot of questions. And this was the forum to address all that stuff. Shandling: I'm so happy to see you. That's all this is about. It's so honest. Well, there's a few things that the show is about, and one of them is friendship. Seinfeld: Can you give me one more compliment? That I came up with a show that is such a perfect format for guys like us, and particularly you. You know partly where I got it from? Our walk in Central Park that day doing DVD extras for "The Larry Sanders Show." You evidently have not been watching my show, "Comedians in Hospitals Getting Surgery." ( both laugh ) I thought of that last night. "Comedians in Hospitals Getting Surgery"? Yeah, because I was going to tell you, you know, I was in the hospital getting surgery. But, if someone asked me, do you think Garry had that line or do you think he just said that in the moment? That's why I'm sharing it. - I would tell you I... - Can't tell. - I can't tell. - Yeah. And I'm pretty good at this. But let me just say this. In the old days, you and I would take those walks. And, those were... those were little soul walks we took. We were both in the throes of handling these very challenging jobs that we had. And we were doing them at the same time. This is part of the key of our relationship, and I've told you this before. I need to hear you say, "I's a fuckin' minefield." ( both laugh ) Because when I say it's a fuckin' minefield, they go, "Shandling's complaining." I don't know why that is. Thanks, Gar. Thank you. I'm telling you, the truth of us is talking right now. - Right. - And I appreciate it. - Me, too. - That's all that matters. - I agree. - Okay, buddy. It's like, how many people can you sit down with and talk with this way? The guys who diffuse the bombs. Those two guys. You think when they sit down and have a cup of coffee, you think it's quiet a lot? - I think it's this... - ( both laughing ) They're both saying something like that, yeah. ( spoon clinking ) Shandling: You know, I went in to get a CT scan on last Wednesday. And I go in there, and the guy says, "Hey, Garry Shandling, I'm a big fan." He said, "I did a CT scan a year ago of you." He said, "Do you have cancer?" I said, "No." Then he said, "Oh, good, so you're still alive, "because I was watching the news, "and it seemed like if you'd passed away I would've heard about it on the news." And I said, "Well, "I don't know, man." I mean, I don't know if they would've broken in or anything. But, you know, I didn't know what to say to the guy. He kept at it. He said, "That's great that Garry Shandling's still alive." I wrote a joke that said, "I can meditate to the point where my mind is blank, but then there's no one to blame." You know, I did that joke onstage. And, of course, it's not really a joke. But then this is the luck of my life: Judd Apatow says to me, "Hey, I'm Skyping with Ram Dass tomorrow. Come on over." Who's that? That's Garry Shandling just popped in. Garry, lean in so we can see you there. Shandling: Do you have any clue who I am? Ram Dass: Yeah, I know who you are. You look great. You just look great. - Thank you. - Shandling: I don't know what-- Garry just asked you that because he wants you to tell him how he looks. ( laughs ) You know, I've been meditating for 35 years, so I can meditate until... my mind is pretty empty, pretty blank. But then there's no one to blame. ( laughs ) Now I realize I have an audience for my meditation material. ( both laugh ) Humor is great in spiritual work. It gets you there. - Yeah. - I'd say in here, not here. Shandling: Yeah. Here is serious. Here is a judge. Here is... yehh. - And down here... - Yeah. ...there's really humor down here. Buddha said no one is enemy. - No one is enemy. - No one. The... the true enemy is ignorance. Shandling: The true enemy is the ignorance. Yeah. Shandling: All my journey is is to be authentically who I am, not trying to be somebody else under all circumstances. Have you found confusion? Sure, there isn't-- the whole world is confused, because they're trying to be somebody else. To be your true self, it takes enormous work. Then we can start to look at the problems in the world. But instead, ego drives it. Ego drives the world. Ego drives the problems. So you have to work in an egoless way. This egolessness, which is the key to being authentic, is a battle. Dass: Everything is part of an ocean of love. Go within. There's loving awareness. Loving awareness. Yeah. Dass: And there's no time than now. My body lives in time. My psychology lives in time. But I don't live in time. I live in this moment. This moment. This... this moment. Yeah, I understand. And you have been... been... in my heart. And my heart's just warm just being with you. Great. Thanks. Sorry about Judd. ( all laugh ) Apatow: Thank you very much. It was an honor to talk to you. Namaste. Namaste. - ( wind gusting ) - ( leaves rustling ) ( birds singing ) Apatow: To me, how I see it, it feels like he spent his whole life rewriting a moment when his brother died. Where he wanted people to be there and to be real and to not wear masks and to be present. He sought that his whole life, and he also made art about that. DeBecker: That's a big part of his journey. And I think before he died, he had a lot of healing around that brother wound altogether. And one of the ways he got it, and you're part of it, and I'm blessed to be part of it, is long-term relationships with people who stayed loyal to him and loving of him, because we loved him no matter what. In the hospital, not funny, we loved him. Not working, we loved him. Not on a TV show, we loved him. Whatever it was. And I think that began to sink in in his last year of life. I don't think it, I know it. I saw it. Well, you know, I always... you know, wondered, you know, how... how Garry was doing. And we talked about Garry feeling stronger... spiritually after fighting through all of these issues and the issue of his brother dying, which always felt weird that he never talked about it. But it felt like a missing piece of the puzzle. And then, in reading some of his journals, there was a letter to his brother. Hmm. Oh, boy. Michael Cera (reading): "Dear Barry, "you died during the night. My hunch is that you were a special spirit, blessed and cursed with a disease. What you went through, could I have understood then? I saw your pain and coughing during the night. Did we ever talk about it? I remember Dad crying to perhaps another man. 'We've lost him.' It's the only real, honest moment I recall. As you passed, a little boy like me doesn't know where he stops and his brother picks up. So when you died, I died. You ripped away at your time and the deep abandonment and missing you and being alone in that house without a brother, without you. The emotional pain was immense. That is how much I missed you and how sad I was. And yet, no way to express it. So as I dissolved that boundary between you and I, that energy that went is the energy that is sad. To invite and love you again, open up to this light, your light and my light, I claim victory for you, for me, for us. So, Barry, I tell you that I love you. You were, are, joy. Now and another time we will play together, and I will know you as a brother. Goodbye from this world. Goodbye from the pain of your body. I honor your life. What a special, short life to affect me so severely for so long. Thank you. See you on the other side. I love you." ( music playing ) Shandling: Before I leave tonight, I would like to leave you with this one thought. When I die, I want it to say-- the little epitaph on my gravestone to say: "Thank God I don't have to be funny anymore." But I know on the gravestone next to me, it's going to say: "You never were." Thank you, you've been a terrific audience. Thank you. Good night. ( static crackles ) ( music playing ) Apatow: It's been very emotional to go down the rabbit hole of Garry. But I feel like it's a lesson for me to just think very deeply about Garry's life and his death, and to learn from it. It's odd that Prince just died, because Garry and Prince were very similar. ( audience laughs ) There really were no differences when you really get down to it. Garry was the Prince of comedy. ( applause ) He was mysterious, complicated, sexually ambiguous. His talent was endless. He was a brilliant performer who may or not have been high the entire time. He had great hair. Both stood up against The Man to get their shit back. And both were sexy as a motherfucker. "Larry Sanders Show" was Garry's "Purple Rain." "It's Garry Shandling's Show" was his "Dirty Mind." The only difference between the two men is that Garry had a huge cock. ( laughter and applause ) That is the joke Garry would have wanted, and we know that. Nealon: The truth is, I think it was very hard to be Garry. He was complex. At times neurotic. Persnickety. High-maintenance. A perfectionist with the highest standards. And he could be a handful. Being in his company required extra patience. I think the fact that he spelled his name with two R's was a warning that he was going to be complicated. ( clears throat ) I don't know why he creates that much trouble for himself. He loved homes and looking at houses, and he did hate his house. For years, he complained about his house, and how it wasn't facing the right direction, and the light wasn't hitting it right. And for years, he toiled with architects and contractors, and he had blueprints all over his dining room table and the dining room walls. This beautiful, amazing home in this gorgeous, park-like setting with stunning views of the Pacific Ocean continued to be Garry's albatross. ( laughter and applause ) That was Garry. That was Garry. I loved our conversations on the phone. I'm going to miss those late into the night, talking about comedy and joke structure. It was just him and me. And, on occasion, Anthony Pellicano. ( laughter and applause ) And the sad irony of all this now, is that Garry is reunited with his mother for all eternity. And that kills me. It kills me. ( laughter and applause ) ( sighs ) I wish Garry was here. He was always so proud when I got a big laugh. Monk: Garry came into my life, and into the lives of our community, about two decades ago. In the Zen world, one of the greatest compliments we can give a person is to share that they're a real human being. And Garry was certainly that. He was always there for me, and it's so clear he was always there for each one of us here this evening, and so many who are not in this room. It's such an honor that he came into my life. There's a calligraphy on the wall in our meditation hall that's written by my teacher. It says, "The tears I shed yesterday have become rain." And, for me, that's very much what's in my heart this evening. You are within each one of us, and you are everywhere. You have arrived. You are home. |
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